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The term “long day” did not even come close to being sufficient to describe the series of days they had been stuck in for some time now. Every time it seemed like they might have earned a reprieve, that there might actually be a tangible light at the end of this very long and dark tunnel, the rug was ripped from under them again.
As everyone had finally regrouped from the horrors of the Black Hood, relationships and friendships had been broken and rebuilt again, and the turf wars of North vs. South seemed to have at least temporarily cooled, there was a genuine sense that maybe they were safe. Maybe their town was finally what they had always thought it to be, and they could actually be normal teenagers for awhile. Alas, this was not to be the case.
It also started anew with the death of Midge Klump and the increasing likelihood that they Black Hood had never really left them after all. In a strange sense, she and Jughead found themselves fighting this battle on different fronts. Not different sides, just different fronts. While she was occupied with the growing, eerie sense that her father was not at all who she thought he was and struggling to prove it, Jughead was elbow-deep in standing up for his Serpent brother against yet another vigilante attack perpetrated by the football team.
And though they had vowed to communicate more honestly after their most recent reconciliation, trust each other as partners in what inevitable insanity eventually came up, she was once again found herself struggling to keep track of the quantity of things she had not told Jughead. From the Black Hood calling her again, to her disposal of Chic at his hands, to her suspicions regarding her dad and all the borderline trespassing on her part that had come along with it, her secrets were growing by the day. The thought made her indescribably sad but beyond that, utterly disappointed in herself. She had never known unconditional support and love like she had in Jughead, yet she couldn’t seem to trust in that and uphold her side of the honesty promise they had made each other.
The problem was as soon as the secret-keeping began, as it always seemed to with her, it was already too late to go back. He was the partner and ally she always wanted when things got hard; she longed for nothing more than to honor their open communication pact and work through a game plan together, but the desire to protect him still ran deeper. If leaving a few things out here and there meant another barrier between him and this ugliness, then that was a price she was willing to pay.
As if on command, her phone buzzed—not the ominously cheerful ringtone she had come to dread, but the standard vibration buzzing signaling a text. She was unsurprised to find it to be from Jughead, as they had barely talked since the walk to school the previous morning.
Everything ok? I know everything was even more insane than usual but I missed you today.
She sighed and rolled her head back, trying and failing to stretch the tension out of her neck. She was never more disappointed in herself and simultaneously more sure of what she was doing than these simple moments in which she fell even more in love with him.
Everything’s ok here, she typed out, allowing herself a brief moment to absorb the irony and absurdity of that sentence, then continued. I missed you too, sorry I didn’t see you. Everything ok there?
It was only a moment later when the reply came through. Not so great earlier but I guess it’s settled down a little. It’s part of a long story you need to hear but my dad is staying the night at the hospital—any interest in coming over?
That got her attention. She had heard something vague from Archie through Veronica about a confrontation at the jail but the details were far from clear and she assumed if it was significant, she’d hear the whole story the next day. If it involved F.P. it had to be though, and she was unable to resist the offer of company no matter how sure she was that it was a horrible idea given all the secrets between them.
Nonetheless, she found herself quickly typing out Be right there and hitting send.
The walk over was brief as usual and the crisp air made the stuffiness in her brain moderately more bearable. With barely any conscious memory of walking there, she soon found herself on the steps of the trailer waiting to be let in. The door was wrenched open by a very weary looking Jughead who quickly puller her inside.
“Hey,” he murmured, wrapping his arms tightly around her. They just stood like that inside the entryway for a moment—her head fitted perfectly between his neck and shoulder and his cheek pressed against the side of her head. They didn’t speak any more at first but she could feel heavy breaths passing through his chest and his stress was palpable.
She pulled back slightly to get a better look at him and raised a hand to cradle his cheek, stroking softly with her thumb there. “What’s going on, Jug? I thought you said things had settled.”
He sighed, leading her by the hand to the couch where he pulled her down to sit in his lap. “They have,” he replied, settling a hand on her thigh and another intertwined with hers. “But I didn’t say they were good.”
He took a deep breath and then slowly his account of the day’s events started to unfold. From Hiram’s request of Archie to form the Red Circle 2.0, to Moose’s revelation about Midge, to the video of Fangs and the new sheriff, to the bloody confrontation at the jail, each phase played out like the review of a horrible play. The heaviness of her boyfriend’s burden in all this became more and more apparent as he went on, exhaustion and guilt weighing down his features with every sentence. She kept her hands on him as he spoke, scratching lightly at his scalp through the thick hair there, hoping she might be of some small comfort to him.
“Oh God, Juggie. I’m so so sorry,” she whispered, tucking her head into his shoulder again and squeezing his midsection. “How’s Fangs?”
“Stable for now but we barely know anything. The bleeding didn’t kill him and they were able to get him stitched up inside in emergency surgery but they have no idea what kind of infection his ruptured spleen could have launched by now. That’s why my dad’s with him now, his family’s coming in from the city but they said tonight would be crucial and we didn’t want him to be alone.”
“I can’t believe this. So wait, who fired the shot, Arch or Reggie?”
He sighed, raising his eyes to hers and smiling wrly, “My beautiful journalist, spot on with the million-dollar question as usual. He pulled her down to rest against his chest. “That, my dear, is a question for tomorrow. Right now I just want to relax and feel you with me.”
Several minutes passed in companionable silence, watching some inane crime drama play out on the muted television in front of them. Dick Wolf’s got nothing on us, she thought.
“Hey, I’m sorry,” Jughead said suddenly, sitting up more attentively just when she felt ready to fall asleep. “I talked your ear off then said I didn’t want to talk anymore. What about you, anything go down today?” He looked up at her with pure interest and concern his eyes, awaiting her answer. An answer which was not easily forthcoming, given that it could not be the truth.
“Um, not anything much, my mom is starting back at the register so I stopped over there for awhile to help them get ahead with some sources.” Not a lie, she thought with relief. Just not the whole truth. She had always considered herself a fairly adept liar—growing up as a Cooper necessitated that. Ever since she met Jughead though, she learned her tells were much more obvious than she ever thought. She knew she would have to walk a fine balance if she was to keep all these parts of her life right now separate, but there was simply no other choice.
Jughead continued running small circles over her wrist and hand as the spoke. “That’s nice,” he responded, “I’m sure she’s happy to be back to work finding answers after being right in the middle of everything at the show.”
She flipped onto her stomach abruptly, stretching her body out over the length of his. “I don’t want to talk about my mom anymore,” she murmured. It was the truth for so many reasons—she truly did not want to relive any of this nightmare if she didn’t have to, but she also knew the longer they talked, the longer her questionable lying skills would be put to the test.
“No?” His hands came to squeeze appreciatively at her hips. “What do you want to talk about then?” He asked teasingly with a small smile and a raised eyebrow. She pressed her lower body more insistently against his and kissed him. It was unhurried but steady as their mouths moved together so familiarly. She leaned back just long enough to begin unbuttoning her shirt in the slow, deliberate way his slightly gaping mouth and blown pupils always told her he appreciated. She was just about to begin work on his belt and suggest they move to his bed when his hands suddenly grasped hers intently. “What’s wrong?” she asked, trying to gauge his abrupt shift in mood.
“Nothing,” he replied quickly, shaking his head earnestly as if to dispel any doubt. “You’re great, I just…I know things are their usual insanity around us right now but I…I love you, you know?” He ended with a whisper, and a heavily insecure one at that. The look in his eyes in that moment was exactly what she dreaded seeing when she made the decision to come over here—he may not know now that she was lying to him, or may not know the specifics, but soon he would. The traces of doubt in his expression as he looked up at her with total affection and trust was due in its entirety to her, and the thought broke her heart. He had read her, just as he always does, and the feeling that something stood in between them was clear to both of them in that moment.
This was her chance to come clean, to open up about everything she was going through and be worthy of the trust in his eyes, but her reasons for not doing so in the first place prevailed. He was so good, so much better than he ever saw himself, and the thought of getting him buried even deeper in the deception and crime he was trying to escape from was too much to bear.
She smiled back down at him, bringing her hands up to the sides of his neck lovingly. “I know, and I love you too, Jug, so much.” Whatever expectations he had for a confession on her part were quickly abandoned when she brought her lips back to his and picked up where they left off.
The rest of the night and into the early morning would be fantastic emotionally and physically, as they always were, but she was not naïve enough to believe the days to come would be the same. This wasn’t playing make-believe cops and robbers with Archie in the backyard anymore, and it wasn’t the poorly-acted television dramatizations of crime she used to watch with her dad, either. This was real life, right in front of them. People were dead, more people surely would be if they misstepped, and the web of secrets she had spun was growing more intricate by the hour. Betty knew in her heart of hearts that shutting Jug out was probably the last way she should be approaching things, and that the whole thing was sure to crumble when she least expected it. What she didn’t know, however, was the better course of action. They were just kids after all, and the politics and mental illness and injustice behind all of this would have been difficult for even the most jaded adults to unravel. She had no idea where any of this was leading—she just knew there was no end in sight.