Chapter Text
She’s getting used to the worn leather pressed intimately against her palms, cracked in a few places that her father had yet to tend to that caught roughly at her skin. She slid her thumb along the sharp edge of one, not quite hard enough to break skin but just enough that there was a sharp, insistent reminder to stay awake.
An older song is halfway through on the radio, the volume low because Nayeon is sleeping peacefully in the passenger seat and Mina knows the girl deserves some rest, just this once. She hums along softly, flexing her fingers against the steering wheel as she trains her eyes on the barren road ahead.
She wonders how Nayeon managed to fall asleep, with the old engine of this jeep rumbling constantly under their feet and shaking the frame of the entire vehicle in some sort of insistent, creaky lullaby the entire time they’d been on the road. She remembers that Nayeon sleeps to sounds, youtube videos of the wind in the trees or lazy traffic trawling by on a busy city street at 5am, and she turns the radio down a little lower so the engine can be heard just a bit more.
It’s hot; even in the early morning cruising down the highway with the windows cracked open, the previous days heat had done little to dissipate, and Mina knew the sun wasn't far off rising. Nayeon shivers in her sleep though, as if she was cold, and Mina winds up the window without a seconds thought.
The road ahead is straight and empty of any other vehicles, so Mina risks taking a glance at the older girl, just for a moment.
She’s serene; curled up tightly on the uncomfortable, leather seat that Mina had to wrestle with before she could get it to recline, head lolling back limply against the headrest. She looks beautiful, Mina thinks, even though the dried tear tracks down her face have yet to disappear, and Mina is just glad that the tight clench of her fists in her jacket had loosened.
She wishes she had bought her camera, or that she’d had the time to prepare correctly for this, but all she has is her phone stashed securely in a pocket of her bag in the backseat, and Mina doesn't want to risk stopping the jeep and waking Nayeon up when the frame groans in relief.
She commits the sight to memory, taking a thousand snapshots in her mind and almost turns her attention back to the road when Nayeon shivers again, chin trying to burrow further into the jacket that was falling slowly off of her body.
Mina leans across the vehicle, deft fingers tugging the jacket gently up Nayeon’s form to just beneath her chin, trying not to startle when the girl subconsciously nuzzles into the fabric and brushes her fingers just so.
✿
(“Run away with me.”
Mina stares at the older girl, waiting for a sign that she was joking, that this was part of a stupid prank devised by her stupid friends, but all she sees is the desperation stretching across her features as her eyes bore holes into Mina’s face.”
“I hate it here,” Nayeon sniffs, face inches from Mina’s, and from here Mina could see every emotion Nayeon felt before she even realised it. “They’re always watching me. Judging me. And I’m so fucking sick of it Minari.”
Her voice is unstable, wavering in pitch as tears are choking her words, and Mina has never heard Nayeon sound like this in her entire life.
The older girl straightens up, movements frantic as she reaches up to wipe at wet eyes with a sleeve, and she forces a shaky smile on her face.
“Forget it,” she laughs, and Mina doesn't like the sound one bit, “It’s stupid. This was stupid, forget I said anything.”
She turns to walk away, head downcast, and Mina’s arm shoots out to stop her before she even realises. She wraps her fingers around the older girls wrist, bringing her to a halt with a strength she didn’t know she had, and the pure need on Nayeon’s face is enough to convince her that she’s making the right choice.
“Okay.”
Nayeon stares at her, a little incredulous and more than a little bit uncertain, eyes darting around unsurely.
“Okay?”
Mina nods.
“Okay. I’ll run away with you.”)
✿
Her fingers twitch, aching to stretch up and stroke the smooth planes of her face. She settles on tugging the jacket in place once more, enough to secure it for a while at least, and moves her hand to clench tightly around the gear stick instead of where she actually wanted it.
The song on the radio has changed; a song she thinks she remembers her mother listening to whenever she cleans the house, always bringing an unexplainable smile to her face even as she whirls a mop around dramatically. Her finger taps along to the familiar rhythm, drumming a steady beat against the gear stick, and she thinks the weight of everything is beginning to set in.
She’d left home.
They’d left home.
Her mother. Her father. Her dog Ray who had been faithfully by her side since she could remember, even if age meant he had to walk along a little slower now. They’d all be waiting for a girl who wasn't coming home to walk through the door every day, and every day they’d fall asleep with disappointment settling heavy in their bellies and fading confusement clouding their dreams.
She curses under her breath; she knows she should have written more on that letter she left on the kitchen side, but she was hurried and frantic, barely pausing to scrawl legible words on the paper before she darted out the door, bag swinging wildly from her shoulder with every lengthy stride. She hadn't wanted to keep Nayeon waiting, knowing that the older girl was sitting anxiously in the front seat of her father’s old jeep that he had bestowed to Mina in some sort of grand gesture on her eighteenth birthday.
He’d wanted her to gain some freedom, he had said with a twinkle in his eyes and an easy grin on his face, and Mina still remembered the smell of the oil on his clothes as he tugged her into a tight embrace.
He probably wasn't expecting this to be Mina’s first reach for independence, and Mina could only send a silent wish to the encroaching horizon that her parents were at least somewhat soothed by the contents of her letter. She wouldn’t be gone for too long.
(She hopes.)
She wasn't naturally an impulsive person. Not at all. Her friends would tease her for her cautiousness; her reluctant hesitation to go into anything with at least a semblance of a plan to guide her actions. They’d make fun of her inability to go on any fairground ride that goes faster than her running pace, or anything that goes higher than a few feet off of the ground.
She was smart, practical. Approached every issue in life rationally and with tact, and she was always the person her friends would go to for pragmatic advice.
And here she was. On the highway to God knows where at 5am with a runaway girl in the passenger seat and a few spare clothes jammed messily in her bag.
Sana would be so proud of her when she found out.
Momo on the other hand, less so, but the older girl couldn't exactly stop her now.
She could look after herself.
And maybe Nayeon too.
The song has almost ended, the last few measures of instrumental and the same, cheesy repetition of the hook echoing over and over again, fading softly until the next track comes on.
It’s old, and sweet. A little saccharine for whatever Mina’s feeling right now, so she goes to switch the station but a slender hand grabs her own before she could.
“No,” Nayeon murmurs, drowsy with sleep and words slightly slurred, her tongue still heavy in her mouth.
“I like this song.”
Nayeon’s hand is warm, blanketing her own and she’d never really noticed until this point just how small her own hands were in comparison. Mina nods in compliance, before realising the older girl still has her eyes closed and can’t see the action.
“Okay.” She says simply, before dragging her hand back to the clutch and letting the classic love song play over the engine’s rumble.
She half expected Nayeon’s hand to pull away, to slip back under the cosy confines of her jacket, but it remains, warm and heavy on top of her own as she grasps the gear stick. It stays there long after the song has finished, weighted with sleep and flexing reflexively whenever Mina shifted to change gears.
It’s there when the sun begins to rise, blinding rays shining unforgivably in Mina’s eyes, and she fumbles frantically to bring the sun visor down with the hand that should have been steering the jeep down the road.
(She daren’t take her hand away from under Nayeon’s. She’s not even sure it’s her own hand anymore, stamped and claimed by Nayeon’s sleep induced clinginess.)
The jeep only wavers a little, and a small bubble of laughter slips out her mouth when Nayeon mumbles discontentedly at the abrupt motion.
✿
(“Where do you want me to take you?”
Nayeon stumbles in her stride, surprised at how easily Mina was accepting the burden she’d thrust upon her.
“I-I have a friend.” Nayeon says quietly, and Mina raises an eyebrow.
“You have many friends, Nabongs.”
Nayeon laughs, short and sharp and that uncomfortable feeling comes back into Mina’s stomach like someone shoved a fist in her gut.
“No I don’t,” the older girl chuckles mirthlessly. The sound is tired, and resigned, and not for the first time Mina wishes that she and the older girl had been in the same age group.
“Those people that hang around me aren’t my friends.”
“Then why do you? Hang around them?”
Nayeon shrugs, arms wrapping tightly around herself.
“Appearance. I’m expected to, and you know above anything my family value appearances.”
Mina nods. She did know that, and she hated it. Nayeon was more than a pretty little doll for her father to parade at his events, and yet that’s all her parents ever saw her as.
“But I have a friend. An actual friend who lives on the East coast. She says I can stay with her for a bit.”
“What about after?”
Nayeon shrugs again, and Mina has half a mind to hold the girl down in place, tell her that this was stupid, and unfounded, and that this whole thing was dangerous.
But Mina saw the absolute relief in the older girls’ eyes when she agreed to drive her to anywhere but here, and the wistful yearning displayed brazenly on her face as she runs a hand over the bonnet of the old jeep in her garage. Her hand rests on the smooth metal, tensing slightly as she gets lost in thoughts Mina wouldn't dare think of interrupting right now.
It was all of those things and more, but Mina suddenly felt a protective urge swell in her chest and thought that maybe she could protect Nayeon.
She slides the keys across the bonnet, the sharp scratch of metal against metal jolting Nayeon out of her reverie as her hand fumbles reactively to catch them before they fall off the other side.
“Jump in, I just need to grab a few things.”
Nayeon’s knuckles are white as she clenches the keys in her grasp, and Mina can practically see the realisation that this was real breaking through the haze of misery that clouded the girl since she’d messaged her at 1am asking to meet up. Freedom was right at her fingertips, and Mina masks the nerves bubbling precariously in the pit of her stomach with a small smile when Nayeon slides into the passenger seat with an excited breath and the creak of the door.
She reminds herself to pack a bag for Nayeon too.)
✿
She’s going to have to pull over soon, she thinks when the jeep sways a little too far to the right when her eyes close a tiny bit longer than she intended. Nayeon’s hand is still heavy on hers, the cosy warmth doing little to aid her fight to stay awake, and she crawls along the highway to try and find somewhere suitable to rest up for a few hours.
There’s a small turning, a hidden side road that she would have missed if she wasn’t looking, and she flicks the indicator up to turn off even though there’s no one behind her.
The sun has breached the hill to the east by now, peering lazily over the crest as if to ask Mina why she hadn't gone to sleep yet, and Mina answers it with a stifled yawn and drowsy blinks. She stops a few hundred yards to the track, the noise of the engine cutting out with a few, choked out sputters and the sudden lack of noise is eerie. The radio is still playing lowly, she thinks it might be a Celine Dion song now, and she absently makes a note to remember that in desperate times some of her dad’s old CD’s are tucked somewhere in the boot.
There are some blankets in the backseat, she remembers. She could drag them into the open boot, make herself a cosy sort of makeshift bed with her bag and the blankets, and she unbuckles her seat belt to climb in the back.
The jeep groans defiantly, an aching complaint at her movements and she failed to notice that Nayeon’s soft snores had stopped at the first creak.
She tries to slip her hand out from under Nayeon’s, so sure that by now the girl was deep in her sleep cycle, but as soon as she tries the hand on top of her grips hesitantly.
“Stay.” Nayeon mumbles, and Mina knows if she were fully conscious she’d never be so openly clingy and pleading. The older girl shifts, curling on her side against the back of her seat to face Mina, as close as possible without leaning directly over the centre console.
Nayeon’s thumb is swiping slow, repetitive strokes on the top of her own, and Mina swallows any chance of refusal she had.
She forgoes an answer, reaching down the side of her chair with her other hand instead for the lever to recline. The chair complies with a loud creak, groaning in exasperation as she leans further back, and Mina tries to ignore the soft smile that settles on Nayeon’s face at the familiar sound.
She tries, she really does.
She’s not sure what to do with the hand that Nayeon’s holding onto loosely, not sure how she’s going to sleep with it dangling so awkwardly in the space between the two seats.
Nayeon solves the problem by tugging their intertwined hands towards her, tucking it carefully somewhere between her neck and her cheek. Her face is warm with sleep and the mid summer heat, and Mina marvels at how soft Nayeon’s skin felt when she nuzzled instinctively against them.
Mina remembers how to breathe when Nayeon stills in her chair once more. Slivers of sunlight peek curiously through the trees, bathing both girls in a dappled array of golden rays, and Mina falls asleep with warmth on her skin and something just as warm spreading through her chest.
✿
“I can’t believe you let me fall asleep in the sunlight like that.”
Mina tries to hide the laugh from escaping, but Nayeon has been complaining about this since they woke up and, well, she looks a bit ridiculous.
There’s a glowing strip of red stretching from her ear to her jaw, and Nayeon is sat in her seat scowling petulantly at the road ahead with her arms crossed grumpily.
“You didn’t really give me much of a choice.” Mina replies, too focused on the road to see the narrowed eyed glare Nayeon shot her way.
“What do you mean?” She questions suspiciously, and Mina’s throat is a little drier than she likes. She reaches for the open bottle in the side of the car door, gulping big, greedy gulps.
“I was going to climb into the backseat,” Mina says teasingly, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, “but you quite literally wouldn't let me.”
She makes a show of clenching and unclenching her hand, wincing dramatically as she did so.
“I still don’t think I’ve gotten all the feeling back yet.” She jokes, and she knows that the accompany strip of red on Nayeon’s other cheek had nothing to do with sunburn.
“Whatever.” The older girl mumbles under her breath, reaching forward to turn the radio up a notch to avoid conversation.
Mina laughs, loud and unrestrained, reaching forwards to turn the volume dial back a couple of clicks.
“It was cute.” She says off-handedly, and she learns that even the tips of Nayeon’s ears flush when she’s embarrassed.
She mumbles again, this time quiet enough that Mina doesn't quite catch it even with the lowered music, and she exhales heavily.
“Do you know if there’s a gas station soon? I desperately need to freshen up.”
“There should be one in a few miles,” the younger girl recalls from the past road signs, rummaging in the side of her car door. She finds what she’s looking for, offers the packet to Nayeon.
“Mint?” She smiles sweetly, and Nayeon takes the packet gratefully.
She seats back in her seat, both hands resting languidly on the wheel as she listens to the rustle of the mint wrapper and the dulcet tones of some overrated country singer for the third time this journey, trying not to jolt in surprise when long fingers press something against her lips.
They part instinctively, and she relishes the refreshing taste of mint on her tongue as Nayeon pulls away.
“I could have done that myself.” Mina teases, and Nayeon keeps her eyes focused on the road.
“You need to keep both hands on the wheel.”
Mina smirks, sucking lazily at the sweet.
“Of course.” She acquiets with a laugh, slowly and deliberately. The quip on the edge of her tongue about how Nayeon didn’t have such qualms early this morning is surprisingly difficult to swallow. Maybe she liked the way the older girl blushes at her teasing.
They’re quiet for a while, listening to Mina drive and Nayeon fiddles with the volume control on the old radio. She turns it up, but then it’s much too loud and her face scrunches with displeasure. Turns it down again, but then she can barely hear the scratchy voice of the old man warbling along to the slow, jaunty banjo.
Mina side eyes the girl in thinly veiled amusement but says nothing, much preferring to sneak glances at the frown that’s permanently etched itself into Nayeon’s face as she huffs and begins to get impatient with the old system.
Ultimately she gives up. The song is barely audible over the rumbling engine but Mina knows she is far too prideful to give it any more attention than she already has, slumping back in her seat and looking out the window as if she isn't irked. She’s always worn impatience so well, clinging to her like a second skin and looking far too attractive to bode well for Mina’s mental state.
Mina reaches absently forwards, eyes on the road as she turns the small knob just a fraction to the right and puts her hand back on the gear stick.
She can see the way Nayeon’s body stiffens in the corner of her eye when the song begins to play at an agreeable volume. The older girl shifts in her seat to look at Mina incredulously, glancing between the girl and the radio as though she had performed an act of black magic instead of just simply turning a dial up. Mina hears another exasperated huff, watching as Nayeon turns even more firmly towards the open window with her face in her hand and a frustrated pout hidden beneath her fingers.
The grin on her face grows impossibly wider when the song ends and the radio begins to play the familiar, tinny instrumental to the same yodeling country track for the fifth time in the past hour, Nayeon’s exasperated whine managing to drown out the sound completely.
✿
They stay a little longer at the gas station than intended.
Sweet talking the store attendant into letting them use the restroom proved a lot easier than they thought. Nayeon had gone inside to pay for the gas and buy snacks while Mina filled up the jeep, and even from outside Mina could see the profound effect Nayeon had on the poor guy. Or lucky guy, she supposes, dopey expression stuck on his face long after the other girl had disappeared through the restroom door, face resting in his hand as he stared out the window dreamily.
She couldn't judge the kid. Working in a place like this and a pretty girl walks into the building and starts talking to him with honey dripping off her lips and big brown eyes giving him all the attention he could dream of.
Yeah, she’d definitely be thinking of this for at least a couple of months if she was him. Maybe even message her friends about it on break.
The smell of the gasoline is starting to itch at her throat. She fishes her phone out of the back pocket of her shorts, sends Nayeon a quick snapchat of her looking impatient with the the gas pump in her hand. Her eyes flick back to the slowly rising numbers of the gas toll, she figures the tank should be fairly full by now. Her phone buzzes in her hand and she swipes to open the device, nearly dropping it as soon as the picture comes into view.
It’s Nayeon, she expected that much. And she’s pretty - she obviously expected that too.
She didn’t quite expect the older girl to be pulling such an alluring expression though; the perfect combination of big, full eyes looking up expectantly at the camera, a teasing lilt tugging up the corner of her lips and her thumb placed delicately between them in the centre, pressing down enough to reveal the inside of her lower lip.
She spends far too long tracking each and every detail to memory before she notices the caption. ‘Give me a minute’ the older girl says, and Mina thinks she needs far more than a minute to respond to this.
Now, there are a number of ways she could respond to this.
She could:
- Take the humourous approach. It’s fun, risk free, and probably totally expected. Send back a picture filled with friendly, familiar snark and endure the inevitable retaliation.
- Take the bait. Give the older girl a little taste of her own medicine, pull one of those expressions Sana taught to her all those years ago when the other girl decided (by herself) to ‘take Mina under her wings’ and teach her everything she knew. Which was a lot. Maybe sit in the front seat of her jeep, angle the camera downwards and pop open an extra button on her shirt just to give a little peek.
- Or she could just not respond. That was also safe, and there’d be no risk of her sticking her neck out and potentially reading the situation wrongly and making this trip a lot more awkward for the both of them.
Her eyes flit to large, lustrous eyes one last time before she defaults to the latter, pressing the lock screen button and pocketing the device with far more trouble than she should have. Her hands are clammy as she fumbles with her back pocket of her shorts, and she lets out a string of curses when she looks up at the gas reading and sees she’s put in way more than she intended. She looks back at the store and sees Nayeon’s at the counter paying for the gas, the store attendant fully awake and grinning at her with a full, toothy smile on display.
Mina tears her eyes away as Nayeon laughs at something he says, clambering into the front seat of the jeep and pulling the door closed behind her with a loud creak of the hinges as it slams into the frame. Her fingers flex around the leather of the steering wheel, knuckles stretching taut against her skin as she breathes slow, laboured breaths.
She’s breathing much easier when the passenger door creaks open a few moments later, Nayeon climbing leisurely into the seat with a few bags clutched tightly in her hands. Mina doesn't say anything, shooting the older girl a quick, friendly smile which she returns in kind. She follows it up with a quizzical look, eyes raking up and down Mina’s slightly tensed form a few times with mild concern.
“Not gonna freshen up?”
Mina thinks of the overly enthusiastic teenage boy standing behind the counter, running a sweaty hand through her hair with what she hoped was a convincing grin. She shakes her head, turning the key in the ignition and immediately relaxing at the familiar snarls and sputters of the engine coming to life.
Nayeon’s silent as Mina pulls out onto the almost empty highway, gunning it down the barren stretch of road with an arm stuck out the window. The wind forces back her arm just so, and Mina grins at the strain as she feels the air whistling through her open fingers. She’s too focused on the feeling of the wind against her skin and the sun on her face to notice Nayeon’s careful, attentive gaze watching her with something a little resigned on her face.
✿
“Pull over Mina.”
Mina glances at the older girl in surprise. The last few hours have been mostly silent; save for the other girl snorting in laughter as she scrolled through her phone and the occasional huff of displeasure at the radio station’s choice of song. Nayeon’s looking at her expectantly though, so Mina forgoes questioning and indicates to pull over.
The jeep rumbles to a halt a couple of hundred yards down a side road, engine slowly ticking over as it hums contentedly. Mina turns to the older girl expectantly, eyebrow raised as she waits for an explanation. She sucks in a sharp breath when Nayeon unbuckles her belt, sliding across the space between their two seats to lean across the younger girl. She smells sweet, bare inches between both bodies and Mina’s hands are locked firmly into place on the steering wheel in what might be the most debilitating gay panic she’s experienced yet.
Nayeon’s gone sooner than she’d like, pulling back to her seat and it takes Mina more than a few moments to realise that the older girl had turned the engine off.
The silence is deafening. Mina’s not sure what she’s done; whether she’s done something to offend the older girl, or if there’s a problem she hasn't noticed. Maybe Nayeon’s about to turn to her and ask them to turn this whole thing around, to take them both back home and forget this little teen fantasy ever happened.
“You need to sleep.”
Or not.
Mina laughs through the sigh of relief.
“I’m fine.”
She sees Nayeon’s eyes narrow dangerously, even in the dimming light of the sunset.
“No, you’re not. You've been trying to cover up your yawns for the past 20 miles and I swear you actually fell asleep for a few seconds a few miles back until that 18-wheeler drove by.”
Mina waves her hand dismissively.
“It’s not that bad.”
“I don’t know about you, but I would like to be alive by the end of this road trip. And that means you not falling asleep at the wheel and turning this daydream into an old time tragedy.”
She’s about to argue some more when a yawn forces its way out of her throat, and Nayeon’s looking more than a little smug when her eyes open again. She sighs defeatedly.
“I guess a quick rest wouldn't hurt.”
Eyes shining a little too brightly with victory make something nervous begin simmering in the bottom of her stomach, and not for the first time. Her hand snakes its way down the side of her chair, reaching down to recline backwards to get a little comfier but Nayeon stops her in her tracks with a small frown on her face.
“What?” Mina asks in confusement. The older girl was just complaining that she needed to rest and now she was stopping her?
“Get a decent rest, for once.” Nayeon says, voice low and a little shier than Mina was used to. “You said there were blankets in the boot, right?”
Mina blinks slowly.
“Yeah. Yeah you’re right.”
She unbuckles her belt lethargically, limbs feeling a little heavy and sluggish as she crawls between their seats to the backseat and over into the boot. Her hearts a stark contrast, thudding violently against her ribs at irregular intervals with every almost touch and each accidental brush of fingers as she stumbled through the vehicle. The jeep shifts with her movements, squeaking and groaning noisily as she finally settles in the unused bed of blankets sitting invitingly in the boot.
She doesn't manage to stop the groan of relief from escaping as she sinks into the fabric, relishing soft support on her aching body for the first time in days. Perhaps she needed to pull over and stretch a little more, she admits begrudgingly. It’s just a few blankets in the boot of an old jeep, but it feels absolutely heavenly after a few days of continuous driving and sleeping in a chair that didn’t even recline all the way back.
There’s a few more groans of complaint from the old metal frame as she shifts a little more comfortably. It’s eerily silent when she settles, and the creaky groans of the jeep are replaced by the soft sound of Nayeon’s steady breathing from the front seat.
A flash of guilt spears her straight in the gut when she hears the sound of Nayeon fiddling with the reclining lever on the side of her chair, a little ashamed at herself for not thinking to offer the girl to sleep with her.
“Nayeon?” She practically whispers.
She’s not sure why she speaks it so quietly, but the sounds from the front of the jeep halt and Nayeon whispers a soft “yeah?” in response. Something pulls heavily on the strings in her chest at the expectant hope in the older girls voice.
“Do you want to sleep here too?”
Taut silence stretches between them for a few moments. Mina doesn't even realise the tight grip she has on the blanket underneath her until she hears the sound of Nayeon shifting in her seat.
“You sure?” She asks quietly, because Nayeon has always made sure to never jump the gun on an offer.
“Yeah.” A firm response, accompanied by the soft thwap of Mina smacking the blankets invitingly. “There’s plenty of room.”
She’s hardly able to see anything, listening to the creaky complaints of the jeep and feeling the soft bounce as Nayeon pulls herself in between the seats. The light has dimmed even more than when they had pulled over, Mina barely able to make out anything more than a darkened form climbing over the backseat to join her in the makeshift bed.
It’s fairly spacious, as far as the boot of an old jeep goes. More than enough room for the both of them to lie down comfortably, as long as they didn’t mind curling up a little or the close proximity.
Mina’s known Nayeon for the past six years, and Nayeon has spent more nights than she can count over at her house when they were younger. So really, there should be no problem with this arrangement at all.
And yet,
There’s a strange tightness in her throat when Nayeon brushes a little too closely against her front as she positions herself more comfortable in the nest of blankets, feeling a little light headed as the gas station deodorant fills her lungs again. It’s nice, but not as nice as the undertone of Nayeon’s natural scent underneath, and Mina has to stop herself from inching closer just to inhale it a little more.
This is weird.
This is Nayeon; Nayeon who she’s known since she was barely 13 and new to the neighbourhood, Nayeon who (despite being older and way cooler than Mina) looked upon the younger girl with a fond, genuine smile and an open arm slung easily across the shorter girls shoulder.
(Neither of them knew that Mina would grow to be taller than her one day, or that Nayeon would still try to sling her arm across her as if Mina was still half a head smaller than her.)
Nayeon who, despite being a little estranged for the past few years due to circumstances Mina knew she had little control over always made sure to contact her regularly - to check in on her, and make sure she had good, kind friends and that she wasn’t getting into the wrong crowd.
To make sure she wasn’t going down a similar path to the one she’d taken.
And Nayeon who had grown impossibly prettier since the last time they’d really spent time together. Who, despite growing up in an impossibly manipulative and vindictive household to parents who gave her little to no love, gave Mina all of the love and attention she could have possibly wanted as a young, confused teenage girl trying to figure herself out.
(Nayeon who was looking at her with large, unblinking eyes, the width of a finger away from her face).
Mina blinked slowly.
“Minari,” Nayeon murmured lowly, eyes flitting downwards anxiously, “I-”
The words get cut off unexpectedly, as though Nayeon was struggling to find them in the first place. Concern overrides desire, and Mina breaks through the nostalgic haze in her mind to reach between them. She tugs Nayeon’s hand into her own, threading their fingers together and the way Nayeon reciprocates feels so incredibly natural that Mina wants to stay like this forever. The older girl breathes slowly, long, heavy breaths filled with a weight that Mina wants to help her hold.
“I’m so sorry.” She blurts out unexpectedly, and even in the dimmed light Mina can see the glistening of tears brimming in the bottom of her eyes. She’s alarmed but she doesn't speak, just grips Nayeon’s hands a little tighter as the older girl begins to curl into her.
“God I’m so sorry Minari,” Nayeon laughs wetly, the sound a little choked and disjointed as sobs fill her lungs, “I’m so sorry I dragged you into this. You shouldn't be here, with me, this isn't-”
Mina pulls the older girl into her firmly, wrapping her arms around her form as Nayeon begins to openly sob against her chest. She hopes she feels much sturdier than she feels at this moment, and that Nayeon doesn't notice the unsteady tremble of her arms around her back as she grits her teeth and wills herself not to cry with her.
“Hey, no,” Mina begins to reason with her, tucking her head underneath her chin tightly, “I was the one who said yes. This was my choice Nabongs-”
“Yeah but I’m the one who suggested it in the fucking first place,” Nayeon chokes out, fists clenched tightly in the front of Mina’s shirt. She’s shaking with the force of it, and Mina’s fingers set to work playing with the back of her hair soothingly. “You should be at school, and at home with your parents and Ray and your weird friends who are definitely hooking up. Not with someone like me-”
“Shut up.” Mina cuts her off, harsh words muted by the fact she barely whispers it against Nayeon’s crown. The older girl stills at the soft command, fingers slowly unfurling in Mina’s shirt.
“Don’t say that,” She reprimands her, voice still low and soft, words slightly muffled as she speaks into Nayeon’s hair. “I had the choice. I could have easily said no, but I didn’t. And now I’m here, with you, and you’re gonna start a new life somewhere you can be happy and I’ll be glad to say I helped. There’s nothing back home that I can’t just catch up on when I get back.”
Nayeon sniffles in her arms.
“Your judgment sucks if I’m your choice then.”
Mina chuckles lightly as Nayeon shifts closer to her chest, arms resting laxly around her back now that Nayeon wasn’t clinging so desperately to her like she was a few moments ago.
“I’d be dumb not to pick you every time.”
Regret immediately seeps into her skin at the almost confession, hoping Nayeon didn’t notice the nervous way Mina stiffened when the impact of her words actually hit her. A cold wave of dread washes through her entire body when Nayeon doesn't immediately respond. She’s already formulating an excuse - maybe a lame insult that doubles up as a soft, friendly jab? Yeah, that could work.
“And here I was thinking you were the brains between us.”
She peers down at the girl in her arms, more feeling her than being able to see her at this point. Relief washes through her then, but there’s a little bit of adrenaline still thrumming through her veins.
“I have a PhD actually,” she responds cheekily, able to picture the eye roll Nayeon would make in return, “a degree in you and me.”
The older girl pulls away from her for a moment, trying to study her in the darkness and if Mina could make out more than a darkened blur, she was sure that Nayeon’s eyes would be intense and blown wide. Maybe the darkness was a gift after all, her heart's already racing far too fast to be healthy.
Nayeon snuggles back into her embrace as swiftly as she pulled away. Ear pressed tightly to Mina’s chest, Nayeon wraps her arms around the younger girls waist and hooks her ankle with her own.
“Thank you.” She mumbles against her chest, and Mina takes the words, folds them neatly and tucks them carefully into a designated space between her ribs for the older girl. It’s been overflowing recently, but she always manages to find another nook or hidden corner to tuck something new into.
It doesn't take long for Nayeon to fall asleep in her arms, Mina’s fingers threading through her hair gently the entire time until they begin to falter, and the younger girl succumbs to sleep just as easily snuggled in warm, thick blankets and with Nayeon’s soft snores rumbling against her chest.
✿
Sunlight streams through the dirty windows of the jeep and directly into Mina’s face, the girl squinting blearily at the assault as she tries to bring a hand up to shield her eyes. A soft body is pinning her limbs down though, and as she blinks off the haze of sleep she opens her eyes fully to see another pair staring straight back at her.
She’d speak but her mouth is strangely dry, tongue unable to push past dry lips as Nayeon maintains piercingly intimate eye contact, slow, relaxed blinks as a small smile creeps onto her face. A foot swipes lazily along the length of her leg, a leisurely, familiar touch that sends an even more familiar shiver racing along her spine, and Mina is finally able to find the ability to wet her lips. Her tongue darts out quickly, coating them in a wet sheen, and something dips dangerously in her stomach at the quick dart of Nayeon’s eyes as she tracks the movement keenly.
There’s something to be said about choice in this moment, she feels. In that, Nayeon is staring at her, unmoving, too close to denote casual friendship and hasn't said a single word since she first opened her eyes. Nayeon’s leg shifts a little higher and friendship is entirely out of the question, Mina sucking in a sharp breath as Nayeon’s knee rests just between the bottom of her thighs.
But it’s her eyes; dark and rich, dripping with intrigue and teeming with allure, the sunlight illuminating the dark brown to a vivid, intense chestnut hue, flecked with deeper shards of want and an irresistible invitation signed in the way her eyes blow impossibly wider when Mina inches closer.
The choice has never been easier.
The distance was practically non-existent anyway, but Mina closes the bare few inches to pull the older girl into a slow, demanding kiss, a sharp spike of excitement planting itself in her gut when Nayeon’s hand reaches up to curl around her face. It’s steady and unhurried, Mina taking all the time she can to take in every single thing that she can about the girl; the way her lips feel against her own, and how nice they felt between her teeth and the soft, breathy gasp Nayeon releases when she tugs at them gently. She maps the length of her jaw, slow-moving, deliberate kisses that detail every inch of skin and the way Nayeon huffs impatiently when she spends a little too long on a certain spot, or the way the older girls breath hitches when she sucks ever so slightly just below the swell of her neck.
Nayeon’s throat bobs dramatically as she pulls away, eyes blown wide as she looks up at the younger girl above her. Mina isn't sure when she shifted herself on top of the other girl, but Nayeon looks up at her with half-lidded eyes and a thumb dragging shakily down kiss-swollen lips and arousal clenches tightly in her gut at the tantalizing display.
The jeep groans in complaint as Mina shifts more steadily above her, arm braced on the one side of Nayeon’s head as the other rests easily against her cheek. Her thumb is swiping slow, tentative swipes against the skin there, stroking from the length of her cheek down her neck and Nayeon shivers at the touch. Heavy breaths fill the air, Nayeon’s breathing still a little ragged and Mina realises her own isn't as stable as she’d thought, looking down at the older girl and feeling all of the air exit her lungs in one fell swoop.
Hands crawl up her back and she can’t hide the shiver of excitement that courses through her, mouth agape as the older girl pulls Mina more flushly against her and feeling the length of her body underneath her own. She props herself up on her knees, nestled tightly between Nayeon’s legs and barely suppressing a moan as nimble legs wrap themselves around her waist in response.
The lazy sunlight streaming through the windows makes Nayeon look ethereal, cheeks flushed in the rays as the older girl rocks against her teasingly, hips canting up to roll against her own in little short, smooth waves.
Lust drunk eyes punch her in the gut like a tsunami breaking on the shore, washing over her in violent, powerful surges when Nayeon’s hands make their way under her shirt and she feels the hint of nails scratch against her skin lightly. She forgets how to swim, rolling helplessly in the tide when Nayeon surges up to push her backwards, further and further and shifting in the blankets until the older girl is straddling her like something out of her most secretive dreams. Mina takes a deep lungful of air before Nayeon’s kissing her, sinking deeper into the inescapable depth, and she closes her eyes one last time as the weight of the water pushes her down.
✿
The sun is high in the sky by the time they get back on the road.
It’s cooler now, the air less stifling and drier the further east they go. Nayeon had found a pair of sunglasses shoved in the side of her door earlier, placing them on Mina’s face as she drove citing the glaring sun in the younger girls eyes as an excuse, fingers lingering when her hands fell back to her side.
The older girl hasn't spoken to her in the past two hours, however, not since her fingers had brushed the hidden stack of CD’s Mina forgot to mention tucked away under her seat. The old radio is blaring some of Britney’s greatest hits as of this moment, the outdated, country radio station a thing of the past, but not even I’m not a girl could wipe the pout off of the older girl’s face.
“I said I was sorry, Nayeon,” Mina laughs lightly, hand reaching across the space between the two seats to rest atop the sullen girls knee, “I genuinely forgot they were there. I swear.”
Nayeon turns to her for the first time since she’d made the discovery, eyes narrowed suspiciously and Mina has to fight with herself to keep her eyes on the road ahead instead of staring at the other girl.
“Almost four days, Mina.”
“Four god damn days of listening to that broken, tortured strangled yodeling they call singing and you didn’t think to mention that there were CD’s in this heap of metal somewhere.”
A frown makes its way onto Mina’s face.
“Hey, don’t talk about Gus like that.” She pats the warm dashboard lovingly, ignoring Nayeon’s judgmental gaze.
“This old man is getting you from A to B, I’d be a little nicer to him if I were you.”
Nayeon rolls her eyes at the playful warning, leaning more towards the open window as she does though. Her arm hangs down the side of the door, fighting against the force of the wind and she sighs heavily.
“I guess he’s not so bad.” She admits reluctantly. Mina can’t stop the victorious grin that appears.
“He’s done really well,” she continues, eyes trained on the road while being keenly aware of Nayeon in her peripheral, “gotten us all the way from California to Tennessee without a single hiccup.”
The older girl nods agreeably. She’s a little quieter than she was before, Mina can practically hear her thoughts even over the loud grumble of the engine.
“Wanna talk about it?”
It wouldn't be a surprise if the older girl ignored the request, but she hears another tired, heavy sigh instead.
“How much longer ‘til we get there?”
“Probably about a day. A day and a half at most, I think.”
Silence filters between them. Mina never knows what Nayeon’s actually thinking, but she’s not going to force it out of her.
“Okay.”
The younger girl forces a smile onto her face instead of the frown that wanted to appear, finger tapping against the steering wheel to the tune of circus to distract herself. Maybe Nayeon will tell her soon. She begins to drag her other hand off of the older girls knee and onto the gear stick, but Nayeon drags the appendage into her lap, intertwining their fingers firmly. Mina risks taking a glance, can see that Nayeon is still looking out the window like she doesn't care, but the thumb stroking slow, reassuring swipes against the back of her hand tells a different story.
“Nayeon, I-”
“Can we take a little longer?”
She looks across at the older girl in shock, glancing in her wing mirrors quickly for any approaching traffic before pulling to a side lane just to be a little safer. Nayeon still hasn't turned to face her, and the expression on her face is far too neutral to betray any sort of emotion.
“I just, I want to be with you a little while longer. If that’s okay.”
Mina hasn't really stopped to think that she wouldn't get to see Nayeon after this. That the whole point of this trip was to get Nayeon as far away from home as possible. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, the thought of having to go back home while Nayeon was on the other side of the country living a new life that she wouldn't get to see. But that’s the reason why she agreed to this in the first place, wasn’t it?
“Yeah,” Mina replies, voice soft and genuine, giving a light squeeze to the hand entwined with her own, “that’s okay.”
Her hand stays in Nayeon’s lap even when the older girl falls asleep, head limp against the headrest and mouth slightly agape. The sky is darkening, the sun having set hours ago, but the street lights highlight her face for a brief moment as they flash past, and even with her tongue sticking out and her cheeks puffy with sleep, Mina can’t help but stare whenever she can. The grip on her hand never falters, and Mina doesn't want to pull away.
Just a little while longer.
✿
It can't be far off sunrise with the way the sky is slowly lightening around them, and the chirp of birds waking up around them. They crawled into the boot some few hours ago, Nayeon waking up when the engine rumbled to a halt and rubbing at sleep encrusted eyes to tug Mina willingly behind her into the soft space. Now the older girl is pressed tightly against her side, arm slung loosely across her waist as she used her shoulder for a pillow. She’s not asleep, tracing lazy, slow patterns against the thin fabric of Mina’s tank top that send jitters skittering along her skin, warm, even breaths fanning out against her neck as she shifts more firmly into Mina’s embrace. Mina reaches down to tug her playful fingers into her hands, threading her own fingers into the space between the older girls and bringing their joined hands to rest atop her tummy.
“I planned this months ago, you know.”
Mina stills underneath the older girl.
“What do you mean?”
“Running away. Starting a new life.” Nayeon takes a deep breath against her shoulder, words slightly mumbled as her lips move against the skin there. “I didn’t just go into this blindly.”
Mina stays quiet, thumb rubbing against Nayeon’s hand reassuringly, hoping it’s enough to coax her to keep talking.
“My friend, Jihyo, I’ve known her since I was young. Really young,” Nayeon laughs fondly, and Mina leans into the warm sound, “She moved away when I was about fifteen. Just about broke my heart, but we kept in contact. Always found a way to speak, no matter how difficult my parents tried to make it.”
Mina bends the arm that Nayeon’s currently resting on to reach up and stroke her fingers through the older girls hair, playing with the strands absently. She feels like the older girl needs as much silent support as possible.
“She helped me with everything. I’ve already transferred my course to the closest college to her home, it’s about a twenty minute bus ride into the city to get there. I’m gonna live in her spare room, get a part time job at the coffee shop her friend owns and help pay my way.”
She stops speaking for a moment, concern painted thickly on Mina’s face at the sudden silence that overtakes the inside of the jeep. She’s about to shift to look at her face but then Nayeon laughs. Bright, and loud, more cheerful than she’s sounded in a long time.
“I’m gonna live for myself. I drained all of the money in my trust fund, donated it to the charity around the corner from the college back home. You know, the little blue building with that bird statue outside. I like that one. I’m gonna get a new phone too, new social media accounts - everything. I don’t want anything to do with that place, or the people there.” Nayeon sighs, like all the weight in the world has been lifted from her lungs. Mina’s feel like they’re crushing.
“Except you.”
She tilts her head down to see Nayeon staring up at her, stark vulnerability and raw honesty at the forefront of her emotions as she smiles a soft, tender smile up at her. Maybe it’s the lighting, the first streaks of sunlight cresting over the hill to the east, or maybe it’s the consistent lullaby of the birds songs in the trees outside, or maybe even the way Nayeon feels against her side, but Mina can’t think of a more perfect sight than the one in front of her right now.
“I didn’t expect to see you though,” Nayeon continues, each word filling Mina with an airy light that seeps into her chest and fills her lungs. “And then I got into an argument with my parents and I just, scrolled through my phone and saw your name and I - I couldn't,” She chokes around the words, and Mina shifts to pull the older girl more firmly on top of her. She’s warm against her, and Mina uses a hand to tuck the girls head against her neck, all the while stroking small, reassuring circles against her back.
“I was supposed to go in the summer,” Nayeon admits quietly, voice so soft Mina had to strain to hear her, “but then I heard your voice on the other end of the phone and I just, it had to be now. I wasn’t sure if you’d say yes, but I had to try.”
“When have I ever been able to say no to you.” Nayeon laughs wetly against her neck and Mina grins at the sound.
“Summer of 2013. You refused to let me have a bite of your ice cream.
“You had your own and I wasn’t even fifteen Nayeon.”
The older girl huffs hotly, retort indecipherable as she mumbles the words into Mina’s skin and the younger girl tightens her hold playfully, delight spreading to her cheeks at the inaudible squeak Nayeon releases. She presses a quick kiss to Nayeon’s crown and the older girl stills in her arms.
“I’m not sure I’ll ever learn to say no to you.”
The older girl hums thoughtfully.
“You should.”
A laugh trickles past Mina’s lips, pressing another, longer kiss against the top of Nayeon’s head.
“I know.”
✿
They drive a little further when they wake up, all tight limbs and cricked backs as they clamber into the front seats with Nayeon’s hand resting lazily on her thigh and the other swiping through her phone. Her back crunches in little pops when she stretches in her seat, heaving a satisfied groan at the instant relief to her joints and she settles more easily into the chair. Mina has to be content with rolling her neck every few minutes and hoping the soreness will ease up eventually.
The road signs ahead tell them that they've already made it into Virginia. The air is definitely far cooler here, though they still have to ride with the windows open because the engine warms the interior of the old jeep considerably well, and Mina likes feeling the breeze on her skin as she drives. Nayeon shifts in her seat and stretches her bare legs across Mina’s laps, toes wiggling contentedly as she props herself up against the door and continues to look at her phone. The younger girl doesn't even look down, just smiles at the road ahead and wraps a hand around the thigh on top of her own.
“Anywhere you want to go?” Mina asks, fingers drumming mindlessly atop Nayeon’s knee.
She’s keenly aware that there’s only a few hundred miles until they reach Jihyo’s small home town. Only a couple more hours. Nayeon had asked her for a little longer, and she was going to try her best to give it to her.
“Is there a Wendy’s nearby? I’m dying for something hot and unhealthy.”
Mina’s head snaps to the left, hand leaving Nayeon’s leg to tug her sunglasses slightly down her nose just so Nayeon could see her look of disbelief properly.
“I meant like, something meaningful. Maybe a pretty lake, or we can go up into the forest, or some sort of monument maybe?”
“Mina, we could go hang out behind a dumpster and I wouldn't care as long as you were there.”
“Cheesy.”
“And yet you still smiled.”
She got her there. Mina shakes her head in defeat, hand resuming its original position on Nayeon’s thigh. The older girl hums contently and Mina pretends the sound doesn't make her throat a little dry.
“Wendy’s sounds good.”
Nayeon looks it up on her phone - there’s a Wendy's just about a dozen miles up route 81 that they could stop off at. They go through the drive-thru, paying more attention to each other than the bored, soulless employee that hands them their food through the window, and Nayeon suggests parking somewhere nearby so they can sit in the boot and watch the cars go by. It sounds nice enough, and Mina is about to pull out of the parking lot when Nayeon begins unbuckling her belt.
“Give me just a minute.” The older girl whispers in her ear before sliding out the jeep and running into a nearby convenience store.
Mina doesn't really have a choice, fingers tapping restlessly against the dashboard to the tune of Slave 4 U, watching the highway traffic pass by in a blur. It’s a few minutes before the passenger door is wrenched open by a hasty Nayeon, creaking restlessly in response as she slams it shut firmly behind her and shuffles onto the seat. Mina eyes the brown bag in her hand with interest, especially when she hears the familiar clink of bottles as the older girl clips her seatbelt into place.
“You know I technically can’t drink yet, right?”
“Shut up, I’ve seen the posts your friends put on instagram.”
The younger girl grins sheepishly, laughing shamelessly as she begins to pull back out onto the interstate. The food is warm on her lap, the smell good enough for her to want to just pull back into the parking lot and eat it there and then, but she pulls her sunglasses down from the top of the head and over her to eyes instead.
“Where to?”
A slender hand slips under her own resting on top of the gear stick, pulling it up just enough so that the older girl could press a tender kiss on the back of it.
“Anywhere with you.”
✿
Anywhere turns out to be a nature reserve just a few miles down south.
They park somewhere down a dirt track, backed up so that the open boot is facing the tree line and they can let their legs dangle out the back. It’s a pretty scene; greenery as far as the eye could see, a little brook babbling quietly in the distance with little more than the sounds of nature to narrate the late afternoon.
They sit side by side, legs swinging lazily in the air and eating quietly, paper bags rustling as they passed each other their food and offer fries to one another. Nayeon sneaks glances at Mina when she doesn't think the other girl is looking; Mina watches her shamelessly, eyes fixated on every single movement of her face as she looks out to the forest around them, the way her cheeks puff when they’re much too full of fries and the relaxed curve of her lips when she closes her eyes to bask in the moment for a little while.
She reaches behind her back, paper rustling again as she pulls a glass bottle full of amber liquid out of the bag and unscrewing it deftly. She takes a swig, face immediately scrunching in displeasure at the sharp taste. Mina understands when the older girl shoves the bottle towards her, reeling back at the strong smell under her nose.
“Didn't take you as a whiskey kind of girl.”
“I’m not.”
Mina takes the bottle wordlessly, putting her unfinished fries to the side and taking a mouthful of the bitter drink. Her face remains fairly neutral, an after product of years of drinking with Momo and Sana (both of who were, to be frank, terrible at handling their liquor) and Nayeon stares at her with slightly narrowed eyes.
“Guess the tweets and rumours weren't just for show, then.” Her face is sour, but her words are tinged with humour.
“Once a Texas girl...” Mina begins playfully, wide grin fixed in place as she takes another swig, laughing when Nayeon rolls her eyes in jest.
Her throat burns something terrible as she swallows, but all that matters is she doesn't let Nayeon know that.
“Is this your big plot?” Mina muses, passing the bottle back to the older girl, “to get me drunk so I can’t drive us anywhere?”
“Oh no,” Nayeon’s eyes widen dramatically, hand flying to her mouth in faux shock, “what a shame.”
She smirks, eyes half-lidded as she glances Mina up and down, and the heat in Mina’s chest has nothing to do with the whiskey burning through her system.
“That wasn’t my main goal, though.” The older girl adds mischievously, setting the bottle down by her side to turn to face Mina fully. A warm hand finds itself resting on the younger girls knee, creeping inch by inch further up her thigh.
“What was it then?” Mina asks softly, breath hitching in her throat when Nayeon’s other hand begins to play mindlessly with the collar of her plaid shirt. She’s not sure why she asked, not when Nayeon’s looking at her like that and her other hand has already reaching the top of her thigh, index finger tapping playfully.
She doesn't get an answer anyway. Nayeon just hums softly, a pretty twinkle gleaming in her eyes as she leans closer, close enough for the tips of their nose to touch. She grins instead, eyelashes fluttering as she looks up and down the length of Mina’s face and the hand on her collar fists itself in the fabric, tugging the younger girl further back into the bed of the jeep with breathy giggles and soft kisses.
“Just a little while longer,” Nayeon murmurs against her lips, pulling Mina back into another kiss as soon as she had pulled away to speak, all tongue and teeth and warm hands skating down the plane of her stomach to pull at the button of her shorts impatiently.
Mina never wants to say no.
She wakes up when the sun has disappeared and the air around them is chilled with the beginning of night time. They’re still in the bed of the jeep, wrapped around each other tightly and various blankets strewn across them and the seats, and Mina buries her nose back against Nayeon’s neck to get away from the cold. The older girl whines at the touch in her sleep, flinching at the unexpected coldness, and begins to stir. Keen eyes follow her as she stretches awake, watching as she glances around and the inevitable shiver that over takes her body as the chill of night hits her. She snuggles further into the blanket cocoon they've wrapped themselves in, arms tightening around Mina’s waist and the younger girl smiles into the darkness.
It’s quiet, save for their even breaths and the wind in the trees outside. If she tilts her head to look out the window, she can see the stars in the dark sky, tiny little specks of light dusted above her head and stretching as far as the naked eye could see. The warm body in her arms goes lax with sleep again, mouth pressed against her her collarbone and nose tucked somewhere near her ear, and Mina lets herself relish the moment - just a little longer.
✿
“I won’t take your money, Nayeon.”
“Mina you've literally driven me across the entirety of the United States for nothing. At least let me give you the gas money to get back.”
Mina waves off her plea, pretending to be too focused on the road.
It’s not long now, just another couple of miles until she pulls up outside Jihyo’s apartment and Nayeon is out of her life. The pill is a little harder to swallow than she thought.
“You need to save and buy yourself new things, Nabongs,” she tries to reason, sighing in exasperation when the older girl tries to stuff a wad of bills down her shirt, “What am I? A stripper?”
“If it’ll make you take the money then sure.”
Nayeon’s smile is innocent. Her eyes considerably less so.
“You’re not going to let me say no, are you?”
“Take a guess.”
She sighs again. Defeat was always inevitable.
“Fine,” she acquits sullenly, fingers dipping under her shirt to pull out the bills that had fallen in her bra, “I’ll take it.”
Nayeon sits back in her seat with a smug smile, looking far more content and confident than Mina felt right now. Her foot taps restlessly next to the pedal as she drives, nausea sitting heavily in her stomach as the sign for the small hometown where Nayeon would start her new life comes into view. The girl in question sits up in excitement, eyes large and wide as they pass by swiftly, neck craning to look back at it.
“We’re this close?”
Mina hums.
“Yeah. Just a few more miles.”
She doesn't want to cast a downpour on Nayeon’s bright smile, so she returns it with just as much enthusiasm. It’s easier than she though, but that might be because it’s Nayeon after all.
The sound of the old engine fills the space between them, the otherwise silence comfortable and easy to digest. Nayeon leans back in her seat and it creaks amicably, the old, worn leather squeaking underneath her as she shifts in anticipation. Mina glances at her out of the corner of her eye every now and then; can see the pure exhilaration and relief that bleeds through onto her face the closer they get into the small area. The excitement grows as they begin to wind down smaller roads, taking twists and turns further into the heart of the sleepy town, and Mina finds a similar sort of excitement beginning to grow in her own chest.
“Think you’ll be able to handle the change of pace out here?”
It’s casual conversation. Something safe. Mina likes safe.
“I think I need to.” Nayeon chuckles, the sound low in her throat and Mina nods along with her. “It might take some getting used to, but somehow I can see myself in a place like this.”
Yeah, Mina can see that. Big city girl moving out into the country, beautiful face and breaking hearts wherever she walked (as though she didn’t already do that back home) and a large attitude to boot. She can picture Nayeon on the early bus into town on the weekday mornings, headphones firmly in her ears and looking as the fields turn into buildings and stepping out into the city air ready to take on the world. She can see Nayeon in a crisp, white shirt, standing behind the bar of a little cosy coffee shop where business was kind of slow but they made just enough to keep afloat.
She can see Nayeon happy.
The jeep turns down another street and she begins to count the numbers on the buildings. She doesn't have much longer.
“I can see it too.” Mina says softly, trying as hard as possible to keep the tears out of her voice. It works, Nayeon bouncing on the seat in excitement as her eyes scan the buildings for the right number as they trawl by.
Nayeon shouts - she’s found it. Mina pulls up to the curb, truck crawling to a stop and she shoves the handbrake into place, engine still rumbling under the hood as she takes a deep breath.
She isn't sure what to expect.
She doesn't realise her eyes are closed until there are soft fingers pulling at her face, turning her head to the left to look into warm, gracious eyes dripping with gratitude and endearment. Nayeon pulls her into a kiss; deep and languorous, lips moving slowly as though they had all the time in the world. Mina wants to laugh, but Nayeon’s lips move against her in a way that has her gasping into her mouth and desperately hoping she stays a little longer.
Nayeon pulls away. Mina’s eyes are still closed, she doesn't want to open them. Doesn't want to see this.
“Hey,” The older girl says softly, fingers still cupping Mina’s jaw tenderly, “look at me.”
Saying no wasn’t an option.
Nayeon’s eyes are rimmed with unshed tears, threatening to spill over at any moment and Mina’s eyes widen in alarm, even as the first tear trickles down her own cheeks.
“I don’t know how to thank you enough for this.”
Stay.
“Knowing I’ve helped you is enough.”
The way Nayeon looks at her makes her feel like she’s robbed all the stars in the sky and placed every single one in Nayeon’s eyes.
“I don’t deserve you.”
“You deserve the world, Nayeon.”
Desperate eyes glance back at her a few more times, as though she were committing every detail of her face to memory. Nayeon leans in for one more kiss, this one mixed with salty tears and trembling fingers but Mina cherishes it all the same. The older girl pulls away after what feels like forever, but forever isn't long enough.
“Thank you.”
Mina watches wordlessly as Nayeon slips out of the passenger seat, door groaning in protest as she slams it shut behind her. She watches as Nayeon presses the buzzer nervously, see’s a pretty girl open the door and practically engulf the older girl in a bone crushing hug that has a smile breaking through the tears streaming down Mina’s face. She watches Nayeon disappear inside with a little bag slung across her back, pausing to turn back and wave one last time before the door closed behind her.
Just like that.
She doesn't wait for too long after. Wiping the tears away with the edge of a frayed sleeve, she shifts the jeep into gear and wraps both hands tightly around the worn leather of the steering wheel, pulling back onto the road to put herself back onto the interstate again. Home was waiting.
Her phone pings with a text alert. It’s late, there’s barely any traffic on the road so she risks a glance, pressing the home button to show the message. It’s from an unknown number, one she doesn't recognise and the message simply consists of that stupid cowboy emoji her friends like to spam her with when they’re being idiots. She shoves the device back in her pocket.
The Britney songs playing on the radio don’t sound so appealing anymore. She ejects the disc, flings it carelessly onto the passenger seat and begins to tune the old radio back to the regular radio station.
An achingly familiar guitar begins to play. She slams her palm against the wheel in disbelief, laughing openly when the tired, strained voice begins to sing the lyrics she knew off by heart by now. She sings along, loud and unrestrained to fill the Nayeon sized silence left behind.
I tell myself I’m not in love
But one more time is not enough
One last kiss and then you’re a goner
And I’m here wishing you could stay a little longer