Archive of Our Own

Johnny had declined from speaking at his mom’s funeral. Anything of substance that he could have said, no one would have believed him anyways. Besides, they didn’t deserve to hear what he had to say. Not after the lack of care they’d displayed over the years.

He sat at the funeral, eyes avoiding his mother’s urn along with Sid. He looked around the room. There were a fair amount of people. His mother had been pretty social before the illness had worsened and kept her bedridden. Johnny didn’t care for most of them. They hadn’t been true friends, no matter how tear filled their eyes were now. They had never cared about his mom’s happiness. They hadn’t cared about how controlling Sid had been, about how his mother had missed out on so many opportunities and dreams because Sid wouldn’t allow her to follow them.

His throat constricted. Death, it was the only way that his mom could be free. Had she realized that? Had she allowed herself to give up, to escape the man sitting next to him? Johnny couldn’t even be mad. Sometimes, he thought he was willing to do anything to escape Sid too.

He looked at the faces around them as the preacher started speaking. Identifying the family friends, the women that had always met with her during those weekly housewife meetings. He prepped himself for the predictable words they’d say to him, their false attempts at comfort. He looked and looked and…he frowned spotting a stranger near the back.

The man shot him a sympathetic smile and a small wave. Johnny blinked, trying to place the face but nothing came to him. He looked about his age but no names were coming to him.

Throughout the service, Johnny repeatedly looked back. The face was becoming more familiar but a name still escaped him. Whoever the guy was, Johnny didn’t really feel like making small talk that day so he minded his business and kept quiet as the service came to a close.

Everyone met back at the house for the wake. It was less to celebrate his mother and more so Sid could just get his fucking balls scratched. Like he actually wanted the sympathy. He just liked the fucking attention.

In a matter of seven minutes, Johnny had already downed three doubles of whiskey. He’d managed to avoid everyone. Thankfully no one dared to bother him, at least not until Sid appeared next to him and slapped him on his shoulder.

“Oh yes, I promised his mother I’d always look after Johnny here. Doesn’t matter that he’s not my own. He’s always been my son.”

The sympathetic nods, the soft murmurs like Sid was doing something gracious and not just being the controlling ass he always was, it made all the whiskey want to come straight back up.

“Come on Johnny,” Sid muttered next to him. “Smile. At least make it seem like you want to be here.”

He wanted to scream. He wanted to fall to his knees. He wanted to punch Sid in his fucking face. All he said was a broken half whisper. “My mom is dead. Why the fuck would I want to be here?”

“You’re almost thirty. You’re not a little kid so just grow up,” Sid growled back.

Johnny tried to pull away but Sid grabbed him by the arm.

“It’s not like this is some big shock. We all knew it was coming so man up and deal with it,” replied Sid. “Act fucking grateful that I’m not abandoning you here and now.”

Johnny closed his eyes. He couldn’t keep dealing with this. He needed somewhere to go and just get wasted. Looking around the room, his eyes found his mother’s urn. He made a beeline for it, picking it up and trying to disappear but Sid was at his side again, grabbing him by his arm.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“Fulfilling her last wishes now get off!”

“Sit down and shut up!”

The next few seconds ticked by as if in slow motion. Johnny’s heart leapt into his mouth as he watched the urn turn, watched the lid come loose as Sid tried to pull it away. Not his mom. This bastard had stolen enough from her, not this. Not when she only had one wish left.

Johnny grabbed hold of it just in time, slamming the lid shut, and rolling to protect it. He cradled her against his chest as he stood up again. Thank god. She was safe.

“Hey asshole.”

Johnny turned just in time to see the stranger from the funeral sucker punch his step-father. Johnny gaped, but not really at the action. No, he probably would have laughed if that was it. The voice was what had Johnny gaping. The voice finally spurred his memory and that face…

Bobby gave his trademark smile and gestured towards the door. He quickly disappeared and with everyone gathering around Sid, Johnny did the same. By the time he got out the front door, he could see Bobby sitting in his car. He grinned again and waved him over.

“Stop staring and get your ass in the car!”

Johnny forced his legs to move. As he finally got around to the other side, words came out of his mouth. Maybe not the most important of questions but it was something.

“What the hell happened to your hair?”

Bobby laughed. “Really? That’s what you ask?”

“I didn’t recognize you! Like god damn I wasn’t expecting it.”

“Well, hair was thinning and I eventually decided, to hell with it. Might as well just go with the flow.” Bobby elbowed him. “How are-no, shit. Never mind. That’s a stupid question.” Bobby started the car and drove into the street. “So where to?”

Johnny’s initial plan had been to just get plastered but now that he was holding his mother’s urn, things had drastically changed. “Santa Monica Pier.”

“Wait, really?”

Johnny raised an eyebrow.

“Ok, whatever you say man,” Bobby replied. He turned on the radio, managing to find a song that he remembered he and Johnny used to listen to back in the day. He almost thought about changing it but one look at Johnny showed only good memories were coming back.

“So that was an entrance,” Johnny finally said after a few minutes of driving.

“Yeah, well it wasn’t what I was originally planning,” Bobby replied.

“What were you planning? How did you even hear about this?”

“I mean, I was just going to walk over and talk to you but then your step-dad started acting like the massive dick he is and...well I just took matters into my own hands I guess. And I found out about...about the funeral through the paper. I’ve kept up with any major news from the Valley but it was…really it was just coincidence that I ended up looking through the obituaries. I’m…I’m sorry.”

Johnny took a deep breath. He looked out the window, at the passing trees and buildings. It was easier to avoid eye contact as he murmured, “You’re here now…and you gave quite a show in there.”

“Hey, I did promise that if he tried anything again, then I’d beat the bastard, didn’t I?”

Johnny felt the back of his head, tracing the scar underneath his fingertips. A small smile graced his lips. “Yeah…yeah you did.”

“Hopefully it won’t cause more problems for you. Though I doubt Sid remembers me anyways.”

“Oh he doesn’t,” snorted Johnny. The only thing Sid cared about in regards to Johnny was how he was wasting his life away and spending the man’s money. Regardless of that, Sid didn’t give a fuck. “He’s made his own enemies. I’m sure he’ll come up with his own explanation as to what happened and I can always lie. So, what the hell have you been doing man! How’s…god where did you end up running off to? Berkley?”

“For school, yeah,” chuckled Bobby. “I’m settled in San Jose now.”

“Wait, you graduated?”

“Hell yeah I did!” Bobby proudly whooped. “I had a few ups and downs but I managed to finish in six years. Better than I was expecting. What have—”

“You went into like design or something right?” Johnny interrupted. He glanced over and just as he had hoped, Bobby got the message. No more questions. Not now.

“Architecture to be more accurate. Yeah, so there’s this company…”

The music in the background, Bobby going into detail about the past few years, it helped make each breath just a little easier for Johnny. He got comfortable in the seat, holding his mom close as he listened to Bobby’s stories and jokes. He agreed with him about the dicks he’d had to deal with at work, he laughed when Bobby mentioned falling through a second story and landing on a foreman. Bobby mentioned two different women he’d been seeing but added that nothing had really came of it.

“You should see Jimmy though. He’s already got five kids—”

“Wait, you’re fucking with me!” Johnny finally interrupted.

“I’m not-ow! I’m driving,” laughed Bobby.

Johnny just hit him in the shoulder again. “You’re totally fucking with me. He doesn’t have five kids.”

“Oh yes he does. There’s almost as many little Jimmy’s running around as the number of Tommy’s divorces.”

“How many times has he been divorced?”

“Six.”

“In like twelve years!?”

“I know, right?” laughed Bobby.

“So you’ve kept in touch?”

“Not really. I mean, my job just happened to cross with Tommy’s. We had a few drinks, caught up a bit. He’s probably on his seventh divorce by now.”

“And Jimmy?”

“Well, he actually wrote me in college.”

Johnny closed his eyes, his face scrunching up.

“Sorry I-I didn’t mean to like blame you or something.”

“You didn’t. I should have…I just never found the time,” murmured Johnny.

“Shit happens.”

“Yeah, it does.”

Before it could grow awkward, Bobby pulled into a parking space. It being fall and a Monday, there was thankfully barely anyone there and most of the attractions on the pier were closed. Johnny quickly got out, holding his mom close to his chest. Glancing over, he suddenly saw the recognition in Bobby’s eyes.

“Hey, isn’t this the first place we bumped into each other?”

“Before Cobra Kai? Yeah,” chuckled Johnny.

“That fucking Ferris wheel.”

Johnny doubled over with laughter as he remembered the event.

Bobby rolled his eyes, clearly not as fond of that memory. He walked around the car and leaned up against it beside Johnny. “So why are we here man?”

“The will.”

“Your mom’s?”

Johnny nodded. He took a deep, shaky breath and forced the air out through his nose. “She wanted to be thrown into the ocean. She asked to be thrown from our pier. That’s what the will said, ours. Sid called it dumb, sentimental bullshit.”

“Well he’s bullshit.”

“Nice comeback.”

“Well he is,” snorted Bobby. He pushed off his car and Johnny and Bobby headed across the parking lot. “You came down here a lot when we were young. Like really young, right?”

Johnny nodded. “Some of my earliest memories are of this place. I didn’t even care what the fuck was going on at that age. I just liked the flashing lights.”

Their shoes finally stepped from the concrete to wood.

“So have you kept in contact with the others?” asked Johnny.

“Not really. Like I said, Tommy was more a onetime thing. He didn’t offer to exchange addresses and I didn’t ask. Jimmy I just wrote less and less over the years. Haven’t heard from him in the past…god four years now? I think fucking four.”

“Well if you’re telling the truth about the five kids, I imagine he’s been stuck in hell,” snorted Johnny.

“Agreed.”

They continued down to the very edge in silence. The wind picked up a few times, their coats flapping in the wind as they stopped and stared off into the ocean. Johnny held his mom in his hands, her last remnants. He rested his head against the lid, slowly just breathing in and out.

“I always loved your mom,” Bobby suddenly said. “She made the best nachos.”

Johnny laughed but the noise wasn’t joyous. It got caught in his throat, gasping through his teeth and getting lost in the wind.

“She liked getting involved, more so than my mom, than the other parents—”

“It got her away from Sid,” Johnny interrupted.

Bobby winced. “I didn’t mean—”

“No I…just what else do you remember?”

“I didn’t mean to offend—”

“You didn’t. Just…just keep talking,” whispered Johnny.

It took a moment longer but Bobby slowly started again.

“She didn’t hesitate to drive us to the movies before we all got our bicycles. And then our motorbikes. She threw that kick ass party when we graduated from middle school. And when…my parents were out of town,” Bobby said, his own voice cracking just a bit.

“I didn’t have anyone to take me. I would have just been stuck all alone in that damn hospital with the broken rib but your mom…Sid tried to say no but she actually fought him on that. She set up a movie for us in the downstairs, had pillows and blankets like we were twelve again. When they started arguing, all we could do was turn the sound up.

“That night…she didn’t give in no matter how pissed Sid got. Not about the mess or that we’d ruined his night or that we were keeping him up too late. She…she was an awesome mom.”

Not a single word at the funeral, at the wake, not any of it had been real, had been meaningful. But this, Johnny was shaking.

“I’m sorry Johnny. I’m so fucking sorry,” whispered Bobby.

Johnny had held it in for so damn long, not knowing where to put his guilt and his anger. He should have been a better son. He should have tried harder.

“You’re not alone Johnny. You can do it. You can.”

The wind suddenly quieted. No sound carried to them, not children yelling or carnival like games being played or cars driving by. Even the lapping of the water seemed to become muted.

Johnny looked away from Bobby. He looked to his right instead.

She stood there, holding him in his arms. Something caught his eyes. He squirmed and almost leaned too far over but she caught him just in time. Relief slid through her as she held him closer, whispering into his ear. You have to be more careful Johnny. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.

And of course he ignored her soft words, still just as enchanted by the simple movement of the ocean in front of him.

Laura Lawrence stepped back, pulling her son close to her chest.

And Johnny Lawrence tipped the urn over, leaning forward as he watched the ash hit the ocean.

“I love you,” Johnny murmured just as the wind picked up and stole his words away. He looked at the now worthless container. He tossed it up once, feeling the lessened weight of it before bringing his arm back and throwing it as hard and as far as he could. He wiped at his face, taking a deep, shuttering sigh before turning to Bobby and muttered, “Let’s get wasted.”

And that’s exactly what Johnny did. He ended up falling asleep on the floor of Bobby’s hotel room after staying up far too late and drinking far too much. Part of him regretted it in the morning as he only half remembered all the shit he’d spilled out to Bobby. Yet at the same time, despite the painful hangover and that it was nearly impossible just opening one eye, let alone two, Johnny found that he just didn’t care anymore.

“You should leave the Valley. Come stay with me for a few days even. It would do you some good,” Bobby said once they were both just a little less hung-over.

Bobby said the words with hope and Johnny almost latched on to them. He was so tired of Sid, of everything, and the last good thing that had held him to the Valley was gone.

But then crept in the memories.

He has no idea what he wants! yelled Sid. All he’s doing is wasting my time and money and that’s all he’s good for!

Then Kreese’s words came. You’re nothing! You’re worthless! You’re a loser!

“Yeah…yeah maybe I will take you up on that offer,” Johnny lied.

They ended up having a late, grease filled lunch that afternoon before Bobby had to leave again. Johnny got his information written down before they gave each other a half hug and slapped each other’s back. Johnny’s promises broke as they left his lips and he finally watched Bobby drive away.

Despite his thought process, Johnny honestly didn’t intend to lose the information, but when he suddenly found the slip of paper wasn’t in his pockets anymore, he couldn’t help but be relieved. All he did was fail people and leech off of them. Bobby was one of the few good memories Johnny had in his life. It was better if he didn’t ruin that too.