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There were many things in the world that Lance Esperanza loved on this Earth. He loved the smell of rain and ozone during a thunderstorm, the way the night sky would light up and rumble its displeasure to the world as the tap tap tap of the raindrops on the roof would increase or decrease in speed and volume. He loved the beach in the summer, how the taste of salt would linger on the back of his tongue for hours afterwards, how the water would glide so effortlessly over his body, wrapping him in its cool embrace and letting him forget about all his worries and fears, how he would go home shades darker, his dark skin made darker by the melanin imbedded in his cells that he had always loved so deeply.
Lance loved his mother. He loved to let her wrap him up in her warm, soft arms as she told him how proud she was. He loved the warm, sweet smile she would get whenever he would make a joke, her little chuckles making his heart swell. He loved her cooking, how it would fill his stomach and leave the house always smelling amazing.
He loved the rest of his family. He could talk for hours about Veronica, Marco, and Luis, recount all of the amazing and stupid things they’d done together and to each other. He loved the way they laughed together, cried together, fought together, but always made up together. He loved his cousins and his tios and his tias and primos and primas. His chest swelled with pride at every gathering, at all the culture and beauty and sense of belonging that surrounded him.
Lance Esperanza loved all of that and so much more.
But right now, in this moment, there was one thing, one person, that Lance loved more than all of that.
That person sat next to Lance, leaning in so close that their shoulders were brushing, softly whispering to himself as he tried to figure out how to best explain the concept so that Lance would understand it. Lance wasn’t really paying attention to what he was whispering though, because all he could concentrate on was how close they were. He could feel the warmth of his shoulder where it touched Lance’s, although in Lance’s mind it was so bright it might as well be burning into his skin.
Lance’s eyes traveled over his face, taking in every detail, even though he’d known them for years now. He let his eyes linger over that dark undercut, and especially that white little floofy part in the front, his brain conjuring for the millionth time what it might feel like to run his hands through that hair, to go from short and buzzed to longer and soft. Lance knew that he took care of his hair after all.
From there, he let his gaze drop to his face, marveling at the way his eyelashes brushed against his cheek every time he blinked, to the soft light in his eyes that was always present, wandering over pores, moles, and other tiny imperfections. Inevitably, the way it always happened, Lance found himself staring at his lips.
He wanted so badly to kiss him.
Shiro turned to Lance, who flicked his eyes up suddenly away from his lips. He could feel the soft warming of his face that meant he was probably blushing a little, and he silently thanked God that the darker shade of his skin meant that he wasn’t so easily ratted out when he blushed.
A curious smile graced Shiro’s lips, and his prosthetic hand came up, gently feeling around his left cheek. “Do I have something on my face?” he laughed.
Lance grinned back sheepishly, shaking his head and slightly covering his face with one of his hands. “Nah. I just kinda spaced out.” He shrugged. “Sorry. If you said something before, I didn’t hear it.”
The look Shiro gave him was full of equal parts fondness and exasperation, and Lance couldn’t help the tiny thump that his heart gave at that look. His grin widened, going from sheepish to more shit eating, and he nudged Shiro with his elbow, leaning up into him.
“You love me.”
Shiro sighed, rolling his eyes up, but his smile betrayed everything. “Somehow.”
Lance wanted to bask in the feeling that one word gave him forever. He wanted to turn it into a blanket and wrap it around himself like a kid with a cape, never leaving its safety, its comfort. His grin morphed into a smile, one that he knew had all of his love written all over it, but he couldn’t really bring himself to care.
Shiro shifted, and as he did, he accidentally brought them closer. To Lance, the moment was still lazy, still friendly, still fond, but it was now laced with an underlying tension. Lance was acutely aware of every point of contact between him and Shiro, though they were admittedly few, and his eyes darted all over Shiro’s face. His breath caught in his throat, certain that this time, this time , Shiro was finally going to kiss him.
He let himself imagine it, briefly enough for his heart to begin racing, only to remind himself that living in the moment would be so much better. He wanted to savor this.
Shiro turned away from Lance, pulling away from their touches, and going back to the open book on the table next to them. “Come on. If you want to do well on this exam, you need to study.”
Lance nodded, complying, and letting nothing show. Still, those same places that once were burning with Shiro’s touch were now ice cold. It spread through his body, stealing heat from his organs, before settling into his gut in an unpleasant way.
...
It had started his freshman year. Lance had come to college brimming with excitement and terror, in turns ready and horrified to learn everything that being an adult would entail. Instead of staying home in Cuba, he’d decided to go to college in the United States, and he’d made it happen. It wasn’t easy, what with being the first person in his family to go to college. He had to figure everything out on his own, because whenever his parents tried to help, it always led to a confusion deeper than when he’d started, and even sometimes ended in yelling matches and silent fuming for a few hours before making up.
All in all, it had been something that he hadn’t understood, but that he’d made himself understand. That was the way it was. His parents had always taught him that he wasn’t allowed to crumble and fail when presented with an obstacle. Instead, he had to tackle it head on, grab it by the cojones , and make sure that he ended up on top. That would be the only way he could create a better life for himself.
Not that he entirely understood what was wrong with the life that he’d grown up in. Still, the goal was always to be bigger and better.
That wasn’t something that he could do without help. And luckily for him, he’d found a surprisingly rapid group of friends.
There was Hunk, his roommate. Hunk had been the second biggest blessing since coming to Garrison University. He’d heard so many horror stories about bad roommates, so many cautionary tales. It had been enough to make him want a private room, if only he’d had the finances. But if there was ever a time to be grateful for being poor, Hunk was it.
Pidge trailed along afterwards, and looking back, Lance didn’t always remember the details of how he met them. Details weren’t important however, because he loved that little gremlin as much as he loved his siblings, even if they had a terrible habit of laughing at his pain. Lance didn’t mind, because he knew that if he was ever in true pain, Pidge would fuck them up.
He really did love them.
Keith was… something else. He hadn’t meant to become friends with him. It had started as some stupid rivalry in some stupid freshman gen ed that he didn’t even remember the name of or professor, but in time, he’d chipped away a chink of that armor that Keith always held tightly around him. With that one glimpse, he was hooked, and somewhere along the road, they’d become intensely close, though Lance still annoyed the fuck out of Keith most of the time.
And Shiro? Well, Lance had never expected Shiro to become so important to him. It had been in those first few weeks, when everything was still new and none of the freshmen ever really knew where to sit or who to sit with, and some person that he’d kind of known had introduced him. Lance had been polite, had eaten his dinner, and if he’d silently thought to himself that this Shiro character was pretty good looking.... Well. Those were just his thoughts. It wasn’t like he was going to see much of this guy anyways.
Then he had. Time after time after time, his paths had crossed with Shiro, and not long after it became clear that yes, this was going to keep happening, Lance had gotten his number. He remembered making some dumb flirtatious comment, as always, and soon enough, Shiro was in his phone under the name ‘Shiro the Dear-o’. Shiro had laughed, shaking his head and rolling his eyes, and Lance had walked away with a feeling of pride sitting in his chest.
The first time Lance realized he had a crush on Shiro was in Shiro’s room when he found out that Shiro could play guitar.
He’d been walking down a hallway, just wandering around in an attempt to clear his head from a strange dream he’d had, when he heard guitar music drifting from an open door. Normally, Lance would have shrugged it off and kept walking in order to keep trying to distract himself from his disastrous attempt at a nap, but this music didn’t sound recorded. Someone was playing a real guitar in their room, and Lance was nothing if not nosy.
As he walked by, he nonchalantly peeked into the open door, only to stop dead in his tracks when he noticed Shiro, lounging on his bed in a t-shirt and sweatpants, strumming on a guitar.
“Shiro?”
Shiro’s head popped up, the music stopping as he did, and a big smile spread across his face when he saw Lance. “Hey Lance. How’s it going?”
“It’s going alright.” Lance inched toward the door, gauging Shiro’s reaction to him coming closer. So far it seemed to be okay with the older man. “Just kind of… wandering around.”
“Well you’re welcome to come in if you want. My roommate is out with his girlfriend, and she has her own place, so he probably won’t be back until later tonight.” He smiled, waving Lance in.
Cautiously, almost feeling as if he was intruding, Lance stepped into the room, padding across the room. He didn’t want to make too much noise, thinking that it would disrupt the peaceful atmosphere of the room.
“I didn’t know you could play guitar,” Lance blurted, then clapped his hand over his mouth, eyes widening as he realized what he said. Wow, he was an asshole.
Shiro laughed softly. “No, no. Don’t worry. Most people with prosthetics probably wouldn’t be able to.” He lifted his metal arm, flexing the fingers for Lance. “It’s a very experimental technology. Took a lot of time, and was pretty damn painful. There aren’t that many out in the world because there needs to be a demonstration that they work the way they’re supposed to before more can be made and a wider study can be done.”
He shrugged. “It’s long and complicated, but it basically means that I can do things a lot easier, and do more intricate things, like play the guitar.”
“Oh.”
Shiro smiled, nodding.
Lance cleared his throat, trying to dispel the awkwardness he still felt. “Um. What were you playing before I walked in?”
The question definitely perked Shiro up, and he sat up, grabbing his guitar.
As the first notes rang through the room, there was the distinct feeling in the music of love, of beauty, of longing. He wondered if maybe Shiro was playing a love song. Then Shiro began singing, and Lance realized with a start that yes, it was very much a love song, and also that Shiro had a beautiful voice. He wanted to float on that voice, let it carry him, and he briefly thought about what it would be like to have Shiro serenade him, like in those old movies he’d seen growing up.
Then it had hit him.
Oh.
Oh no.
But he refused to consider it, shoving it deep down into his box of ‘Feelings To Be Examined Later’ and instead focusing on Shiro’s playing. He wanted to savor this.
Only once he was in his room did he let himself freak out, because wow, developing a crush on a straight guy was the dumbest thing Lance had ever done.
...
But then again, it turned out Shiro maybe wasn’t so straight. The first time Shiro had introduced them to his boyfriend, Lance’s eyes had almost bugged out of his skull. He’d swallowed his food the wrong way and had spend the next five minutes wheezing and coughing as he tried to ignore the jealousy and heartbreak that was squeezing his chest in favor of the throbbing pain of his poor throat.
They had maybe a month together before Shiro let them all know that they’d mutually agreed that it was best to break up. Lance pointedly did not let himself notice the dark feeling of contentment that settled into his chest, instead letting his guilt crawl up and swallow it whole.
...
“Hunk?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you think Shiro likes me back?”
The typing coming from his roommate stopped abruptly. Lance heard the squeak of his chair pushing back against the linoleum floor and lifted his head from the pillow he’d briefly considered smothering himself in. Flopping over onto his back, he looked at Hunk, whose face was pensive. Lance didn’t know why. This wasn’t the first time they’d discussed this.
“I mean, you guys are basically a couple already, minus all the kissing and sex.”
But he’d never said that before.
Lance sat up, raising an eyebrow at Hunk, before deciding that that wasn’t enough incredulity and raising the other one too. “What do you mean?”
Hunk hummed, putting his chin on his fist like that famous statue that Lance could never remember the name of, and Lance didn’t really care when his heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest.
“Well, I mean, the two of you do a lot together. And not with the rest of us. Just the two of you. Not to mention, Shiro isn’t really that touchy feely of a guy, but he lets you sit in his lap and cuddle him. Hell, I’ve even seen you two holding hands before.”
Lance blinked. “I mean, yeah. That’s fair. But that doesn’t mean he likes me back.”
Hunk shrugged. “I’m not Shiro. I don’t know. I guess it’s just that. Lance, he’s met your family. You probably would have met his already if he had one. You two tell each other ‘I love you’ every time you see each other. He lets you kiss him on the cheek.”
“ You let me kiss you on the cheek.”
“Because I was raised similarly to you and know that’s normal. Does Shiro?”
Lance stared at the ceiling, eyebrows now drawn together. He considered every angle, every possibility. He thought about all those moments, all those times where they’d almost kissed. Then, he made a decision. Sitting up suddenly, he turned to Hunk.
“I’m gonna tell him.”
“You’re gonna tell him?”
“Hell yeah.” Lance grinned, the back of his mind already playing it out, already anticipating the feeling of Shiro’s lips against his.
Hunk frowned. “Lance, please don’t get your hopes up too high. I know what I said, but there’s a really good chance that he also only sees you as a friend.”
Lance straightened up, looking at Hunk dead on. “Then if that happens, it happens. I love Shiro, and I want to be with him. I want him in my life, however he wants.”
...
Shiro’s eyes were filled with pain, but it couldn’t be anywhere near the amount of pain Lance was going through. His heart felt like it was slowly shattering, and Lance could both feel and hear every crack as it ran through the fibers of his cardiac muscle. His chest felt tight, and he could feel tears stinging in his eyes. He hated that. He hated that he was crying, hated that he was getting rejected and falling apart in front of Shiro.
“I’m so sorry, Lance. I hate seeing you like this. I still want to be friends, I just…”
“Don’t love me back,” Lance interrupted, voice cracking. Fuck, and there were the tears. He hated them so much. He wiped them away angrily, flinching when Shiro reached out to help him.
“Lance. Please.”
Shiro’s voice was as pained as his eyes were, and the cracks in Lance’s heart deepened, but he didn’t know what he was doing. He didn’t know how to fix this. He didn’t know. He didn’t know. He didn’t know .
Lance took a step back, ducking his head so that Shiro wouldn’t see his tears, though he still kept wiping at them. He wished desperately that they would stop, and he wanted so badly to escape, but this was his room. Shiro would have to leave, and if there was one thing that he didn’t think that he could do, it was tell Shiro to leave.
Then his heart would truly break.
Shiro was relentless, though. That was part of what Lance loved about him, one of the many traits that made Lance’s heart flutter. But right now, those wings that used to flutter only twitched pitifully, broken and twisted as they were.
That twitching picked up when Shiro gently cupped Lance’s chin. Lance could feel soft pressure, urging his head up, and he knew in his heart of hearts that if he truly fought it, Shiro would let it go. But he didn’t want to fight it, not when Shiro was touching him so lovingly, so tenderly. It was everything he’d ever wished for, and at the same time, it was nothing like what he’d wished for.
He lifted his head, but refused to look Shiro in the eyes, instead focusing on the wall behind him, blindly taking in the decorations on that side that he’d so painstakingly put up.
“Lance. Look at me. Please?”
If Lance Esperanza was weak for anything, he was weak for Shiro saying please. His eyes drifted to Shiro’s reluctantly.
“Lance. You’re wrong. I do love you. I just… love you platonically.”
Lance clenched his jaw, feeling a new wave of tears stinging his eyes, and he nodded, eyes skittering away so he didn’t have to look Shiro in the eyes. Shiro’s hand let go of his chin, trailing down his arm to link their fingers together.
“Can you look at me again?” His voice was soft, and Lance sniffed, wiping away his snot on the arm of his jacket. He could wash it later. When he looked back up at Shiro, Shiro’s eyes were sweet, soft, and Lance felt his heart skip a beat the way it had so many times before, only this time it was more painful than all the other times. Shiro’s thumb rubbed Lance’s knuckles comfortingly, the way he’d done a million times before, one of the million and one things that Lance had fallen in love with and that had made Lance believe that Shiro was in love with him too.
The tears came more steadily, and Shiro wiped them away, warm fingers pressing into Lance’s skin. His poor heart didn’t know what to do, and as much as he wanted so terribly to pull away and never let Shiro touch him again, he also loved every second of it and prayed desperately that it would never end.
Shiro sighed. “You know, Lance. I know you don’t see it right now, and it won’t help with this. But you’re amazing, and I hope you know that someday, someone is going to fall head over heels for you, and they’re going to give you everything I can’t. You’re going to hang the moon for them, and I really really hope that they hang the stars right next to you.”
Even with pain coursing through his veins, blinding him with his ever steady stream of tears, Lance couldn’t help but push forward, wrapping his arms around Shiro to hug him. He felt Shiro accept the embrace fully, warm body curling around Lance’s, and as he sobbed into Shiro’s chest, Shiro rubbed his back, whispering his sorries and pressing an apologetic kiss to the top of Lance’s head.
...
Lance felt the bed dip next to him with Hunk’s weight. Before his friend could say anything, he groaned and rolled over, hiking the covers up to his neck and covering his head with the pillow.
“Please don’t,” he mumbled into the sheets covering his mattress, closing his eyes and praying that Hunk would take the hint and leave him alone.
Instead, he felt a heavy hand yank the covers down and pull the pillow out of his grasp firmly.
“Nope. You’re getting up and we’re going out.”
Lance shook his head, screwing his eyes shut and curling up in the fetal position now that his blankets and pillow were taken away. “Don’t wanna.”
He heard Hunk sigh deeply, and soon enough, a hand was tugging softly at his shoulder. Deciding it wasn’t worth the effort, Lance let Hunk manhandle him onto his back. He stared up unflinchingly at Hunk, hoping his lightly swollen face and puffy, bloodshot eyes from crying would make his friend realize that he was in no mood to go anywhere.
The moment Hunk saw his face, his own face softened, and he rubbed a thumb softly at the dark bags under Lance’s eyes. Lance finally looked away, not comfortable with the pity his best friend and roommate was showing.
“Lance…”
“Don’t. Please. I just wanna lay here and fall asleep whenever it’s socially acceptable.”
“Come on, Lance. Even if it’s just for me. Let’s go somewhere, just for this one night. You need to leave the room.”
Lance narrowed his eyes at Hunk, annoyance flaring up. “I do leave the room, thanks very much. I shower and I go eat meals and I go to classes. I just don’t feel like going out and seeing Shiro and feeling my heart shatter into a million pieces again.”
Hunk’s sigh was sad. “You’re going to have to see him eventually. This avoidance technique isn’t helping either of you. What would your mom say if she knew that you were locking yourself in your room to avoid all of your problems?”
Lance stared up at Hunk, frowning at him. He knew that Hunk wasn’t going to go that low unless he was really worried about Lance, but a small part of him still wanted to scream at Hunk. Then he really thought that thought through, and before he knew it, all his anger was gone. Throwing an arm over his face, he sighed. “Fine. Whatever. But just the two of us for tonight.”
“Whatever you want. Now, go on. Get ready.”
Forty-five minutes later, the two of them were walking into a cat cafe, and Lance could already feel all of his stress melting away.
“Hunk, buddy, Hunkarooni?”
He heard Hunk snicker. “Yeah?”
“I think I’m about to propose to you. You know me so well.”
“Of course I do. I didn’t earn the title of best friend by being mediocre.” Hunk wrapped his arm around Lance’s shoulder, and Lance sighed happily, cooing as one of the cats twined itself around his legs as they waited to order.
“Oh my god, I’m going to die.”
The person in front of them walked away, and they stepped up to have their orders taken.
“First time at a cat cafe?”
Lance looked up from the cat still trailing at his feet to make eye contact with one of the most beautiful people he’d ever seen in his life. He could feel the blush making its way up his neck and into his cheeks and ears, and smiled timidly.
“Well, I mean, yeah,” he admitted, nervously scratching the back of his neck. “But I guess cats just have a way of making me feel great after a really shitty week.” He internally screamed at himself, asking himself why on Earth that seemed like a good idea to say. But it was already out there, and there wasn’t much that he could do otherwise.
“Oh.” A flash of shock flickered over the barista’s face, and he seemed to be searching for something in Lance’s face. “Bad break up, perhaps? Not that it’s any of my business, of course.”
Lance smiled, his heart melting a little at this guy’s mannerisms. He seemed so refined, and with an air of mystery around him, but he seemed almost empathetic. “It’s okay. I’m the one who brought it up.” He sighed, ducking his head a little bit as he thought of Shiro. “In a way, I guess you could say that, but you have to be together before you can break up, so…” He trailed off, shrugging, and felt Hunk’s encouraging hand on his shoulder.
Perking up, he shook his head. “I’m sorry. I really shouldn’t be dumping all of this on you.”
The barista smiled comfortingly at Lance. “It’s more than okay. I’ve heard a lot in my time here. I suppose I’m just surprised.”
Lance tilted his head a bit, blinking at the barista, who shrugged.
“Were I to be graced with a beauty of your caliber confessing to me, I would have to be blind and have a heart of stone to let you slip from my grasp.”
The sincerity of the comment made Lance turn a bright red, and he went temporarily speechless, all the way through Hunk ordering their drinks and their walking to a seat to wait.
When the drinks finally did come, Lance was surprised to see that it was the same barista from earlier, and his cheeks warmed just from being in his presence. He noticed, almost in passing, that the barista’s hair was not only a stunning silver, but that, even in a ponytail, it reached under his waist. His eyes caught on a strand of hair that fell into his face as he lowered the drinks onto the table, and Lance briefly imagined tucking it behind his ear, before kissing him and figuring out if that hair felt as soft as it looked. Instead, he looked away quickly, staring at the texture of the table and taking deep breaths as he tried not to blush so hard.
“I thought we were supposed to go up and grab our drinks?” Hunk asked, and Lance suddenly realized that that was a good idea.
The barista ducked his head, smiling almost bashfully. “That is true. I do apologize if I am being presumptuous, but I didn’t want to let you walk out of here without introducing myself.” He reached a hand out towards Lance, who looked up suddenly. The barista’s eyes seemed to be waiting for something, and Lance willingly reached forward to shake his hand, smiling brightly.
He could do flirting.
“My name is Lotor,” the barista purred, and Lance’s heart beat a little faster. He could get behind this.
“Lance,” he responded, tone just as flirtatious, and, giving Lotor enough time to pull away, pressed a soft kiss into the back of Lotor’s hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“The pleasure is all mine.”
Lotor shook Hunk’s hand too, and Lance could see the amusement in his friend’s eyes as they shook hands.
The coffee was delicious, the cats were super soft and friendly, and if Lance couldn’t keep his eyes off of Lotor, well… Lotor couldn’t seem to keep his gaze off of Lance either.
Yes, Lance could easily see himself coming back.
...
“Oh, I remember you!” Lance crowed, grinning as one of the cats jumped up into his lap while he lounged in a bean bag. “You’re that cat that liked my feet that first day.” He pressed a series of quick kisses into her fur, smiling as her purring increased. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”
“I see you’ve met Blue,” came a familiar voice. “She was sick for a while, and had to recuperate.”
“Oh, you poor baby,” Lance cooed, rubbing behind her ears and pressing another kiss to her nose. “I’m glad you’re all better now, though. And all cuddly too.”
He looked up at Lotor with a soft smile, reaching out his hand as Lotor met him halfway and helped him up. He still held Blue close to him, and she began scenting his neck. He laughed softly, before pressing another kiss to her head and setting her down.
“Hey there, good looking,” he greeted, finally giving his full attention to Lotor. “When do you get off?”
Lotor’s grin was seductive, and he leaned in close to Lance’s ear. “Usually at night, in my bed.”
Lance sputtered and laughed, arching an eyebrow. “What, no invitation for me?”
He forced himself not to show just how flustered he was when Lotor stared at him, tapping his bottom lip as he appraised Lance. “Well…” he finally drawled. “If you’re asking, I definitely wouldn’t turn you down.”
Lance rolled his eyes, elbowing Lotor in the side and hooking their arms together. “Ready to go?” he asked, positive that he’d inevitably slip up and show Lotor how attracted he was to him if this line of talk kept going.
“Always.”
They walked together in companionable silence, only interrupting it to show each other something cool, like a cardinal or a dog or whatever they thought would catch the other’s eye. At one point, they began to pass by a flower cart, only for Lotor to tug him to a stop a few yards away. Lance complied, confused as Lotor approached the cart and not entirely certain what was going on, until Lotor brought him a single blue orchid. His heart rate skyrocketed suddenly, and he stared up at Lotor helplessly, unsure of what it all meant. He also wasn’t sure why it was a single flower, instead of the usual stalk that he had seen before, until Lotor was tucking it into his hair, behind his ear. His breath caught, the warmth of Lotor surrounding him and making him lightheaded.
“Lotor? Why the flower?”
Fingers brushed against his skin as Lotor pulled only inches away, and the look Lotor gave him took his breath away. “I wanted to give you something beautiful, though I admit that you make it more beautiful rather than the other way around.”
Lance’s heart yearned .
He didn’t know what was going on.
He was so scared that Lotor was Shiro all over again.
Stepping back, he pulled away from Lotor completely, ducking his head and trying to catch his breath desperately. He just needed a moment to recalibrate, to make everything feel less intense, and then he’d be okay.
“Lance?”
He’d never heard Lotor’s voice so unsure, uncertain, and it surprised Lance so much that he looked up from his own volition. Insecurity was written all over Lotor’s face, and Lance felt a physical ache in his heart. He never wanted to see that expression on Lotor’s face again. He cared about him too much.
“What are we doing, Lotor?”
Lotor opened his mouth and closed it again a few times, trying to say something. Lance’s heart was beating in his ears, blood rushing through his body. He felt like they were on the edge of a cliff, holding onto each other desperately, and he didn’t know if the water below contained rocks. But he wanted so badly to jump, and prayed with everything that he had that Lotor jumped with him.
“I care about you more than I should.”
“Will you go out with me?”
They both said their piece at the same time, only to stop and blink at each other as they realized what the other had said.
“I…” Lance’s mouth dropped open. “You mean, you like me back? You want to go out with me?”
Lotor’s face was soft, full of happiness and sorrow at the same time, and he stepped forward, cupping Lance’s face. “Of course I do. I’ve been interested in you since we met. But you needed time to get over Shiro, so I contented myself with flirting for this past month. Then I thought to myself more and more often how amazing it would be to kiss you, how badly I wanted to take you on dates and bring you gifts and make you happy. So I don’t want to wait anymore. I want to make my feelings known.”
Lance let out a breath he didn’t know that he’d been holding in, tears welling in his eyes as he nodded. His hand covered Lotor’s that was currently pressed into his cheek, and he smiled wide before turning his head to kiss the palm.
“I was so scared,” he whispered into Lotor’s skin. “So scared that I was misreading everything again.”
“You’re not misreading anything. I have feelings for you, Lance, and I want to act on them. Please, can I take you out on a date and sweep you off of your feet?”
Lance hummed, looking up at Lotor through his eyelashes and fluttering them softly. “On one condition.”
Lotor swallowed, the slightest tinge of pink dusting his cheeks. “And that would be?”
Lance let go of Lotor’s hand to pull him closer, pressing one hand into his chest and letting the other rest on his waist. “Kiss me.”
...
They traded kisses all the way to Lance’s dorm room, and Lance’s lips were swollen with them by the time they opened the door. Lance stopped when he saw both Hunk and Shiro, his heart giving that familiar ache that was ever present in Shiro’s company for the past month, Lotor bumping into him and Lance turning into his body. Both Hunk and Shiro were staring, Lance knew, but Lance didn’t care, because he needed Lotor to understand what was going on inside of his heart.
Lotor’s eyes flicked between Shiro and Lance a few times, and he seemed to understand. Lance wrapped their hands together, taking comfort in the way Lotor instinctively intertwined their fingers, and leaned up to whisper into his ear.
“This doesn’t change my answer. I still want to go out with you. But we should probably talk about this at some point.”
Lotor nodded. “If you wish. Just remember that I asked you fully knowing that your feelings have not gone away. I’m not angry or jealous. I am , however, a bit possessive, and I’m going to kiss you now, if you don’t mind.”
God, Lotor had to know the fire that ran up Lance’s spine. He nodded, and melted into Lotor’s lips willingly. When they broke apart, there was a satisfied glint in Lotor’s eyes, and they smiled dopily at each other while Lotor gently stroked the back of Lance’s cheek with his knuckles.
“I’ll text you and we can figure it out, yeah?”
Lotor’s smile was smooth, and he leaned down to give Lance another quick kiss. “Don’t you worry, my darling. I have the perfect date planned out. You’re free tomorrow night, correct?”
Lance nodded.
“Good. I’ll come collect you at 6:30. For now,” his eyes trailed back up behind Lance’s head, and Lance blushed, realizing that they’d been lingering for a moment now. “I will leave you with your friends.” He pressed his lips lovingly to Lance’s forehead. “Pleasant dreams, my darling.”
Lance watched Lotor go with a sigh, before finally closing the door and collapsing on his bed.
“Good afternoon?” Hunk asked, obviously amused with everything. He’d been on the receiving end of Lance’s rants about how pretty Lotor was since they’d met, and he’d been urging Lance to do something. Maybe his best friend didn’t always get it, but he did really well this time.
“Yeah. It was pretty great.” He plucked the orchid out of his ear, smiling and petting the soft petals that were starting to wilt. “Do you think we have something that we could use as a vase for this?”
“Yeah, I think we’ve got something. Just set it on the table right there and I’ll get some water.” Lance heard Hunk digging around for a moment, before making a triumphant sound. He watched as Hunk walked out of the room with a mug in hand, making his way to the water fountain.
“I’m really happy for you.”
Lance’s eyes slid to Shiro, whose face was unreadable, and he sat up. “Thanks.”
Shiro smiled, getting up from Hunk’s bed and walking over to Lance’s to sit next to him. “I really hope that he makes you happy.”
Lance stared over at the orchid on the table, the ache in his chest swelling with his proximity to Shiro. The orchid reminded him of Lotor, though, and as he thought of his soon-to-be-boyfriend, that ache was joined by a lightness, swelling with excitement and the breathless feeling that he got when Lotor kissed him.
“I hope so too.”
Shiro sighed softly and shifted next to Lance, and Lance turned to him in curiosity.
“I miss you, Lance.”
Lance frowned, setting the flower down and turning more fully towards Shiro. “But I see you almost every day.”
“Well, yeah, but we don’t exactly hang out the way we used to, do we? I get that, because I know you’ve needed time to work through your emotions, but I also miss having you around. You’re one of my closest friends.”
Guilt snaked into his abdomen, making him nauseous. “I hadn’t realized… I’m so sorry, Shiro. All this time, I was so focused on my own hurt that I never stopped to pay attention to see who else I was hurting.”
“Hey. It’s okay.” Shiro reached forward, hand hovering halfway towards Lance’s, and Lance realized with a start that he and Shiro hadn’t touched so familiarly in over a month.
He placed his palm against Shiro’s, the both of them smiling at the familiar feeling they’d both missed so dearly.
“Can we… try again? Not start over, but pick up and keep going?”
Shiro’s eyes swam with fondness, but for the first time in a long time, it didn’t sweep over Lance the way it had before. “Of course.”
If asked later, Lance wouldn’t be able to recall who had initiated the hug, but he didn’t think he’d ever forget the feeling of warmth and comfort that came from being wrapped up in Shiro’s embrace. He shook with the intensity of his emotions, how he’d believed that he would never get this again, and Shiro hummed comfortingly, rubbing his back and letting him.
Hunk walked in, stopping in the middle of a sentence that Lance heard nothing of when he saw the situation Lance and Shiro were in. Setting the mug on the bedside table next to Lance’s bed, he sat next to the both of them, also placing a comforting hand on Lance’s back.
“Everything alright?”
Lance nodded, pulling away from Shiro and wiping at his eyes, even though no tears had fallen. “Everything is great, buddy,” he croaked.
Hunk’s smile was bright and wide, and he clapped Lance on the back, pulling him into a hug of his own. “I’m so happy for you.”
Lance squawked, flailing in Hunk’s embrace for a moment, before settling into his best friend’s arms and grinning. “Me too.”
“Now, let’s get this little guy in some water so it can last for a little longer.”
Hunk got up, and Lance watched him put the orchid in the now water filled mug, smiling goofily at the flower.
“Spill, buddy,” Hunk gushed as he plopped back down onto the bed. “I haven’t seen you this giddy in ages. You and Lotor have been dancing around each other forever, and I wanna know deets.”
Shiro nudged him with his knee. “I’ve gotta know too, so I know the basics before I go give him the shovel talk.”
Lance grinned, staring at the soft little orchid that reminded him so lovingly of Lotor.
As he spoke, he realized that the future he’d been so adamantly dreaming of with Shiro was fading slowly, and a million new paths were opening up, most of them with Lotor at his side.
Maybe it was falling too fast. Maybe he was being reckless with his heart.
Staring at that blue orchid though, he didn’t really think so.