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"Chaeyoung and Jennie."
Chaeyoung's eyes snap up from her blue poetry journal, where half-abstract sketches have been absentmindedly doodled in the margins of the pages, and towards her ecology professor, who is reading down the list of partners. Her gaze flickers over to Jennie, her new lab partner, and she anxiously bites her lip. Jennie is slumped over on her desk in the back of the room, head settled on her crossed arms, looking just about dead to the world. She glances up just long enough to give Chaeyoung a small, polite smile.
Chaeyoung flushes bright pink and untucks her hair from behind her ear, letting the dark strands fall over half her face. She thanks every higher power she can name when the teacher dismisses the class early, claiming that they'll start the project tomorrow. Slamming her binder shut and stuffing all her books into her messenger bag with none of her usual care, she races out of the room.
She's quick, but not as fast as Jennie, who lopes out into the hallway without a care in the world, holding only a worn blue notebook and green earbuds in her hand.
Chaeyoung watches as Jennie turns toward the campus exit, meeting up with a red-haired first year named Lisa, the two exchanging quick high fives and greetings before barreling out into the gardens.
Fuck, she thinks, clutching the strap of her bag tightly. She is not looking forward to tomorrow's ecology class.
"Jisoo," Chaeyoung whines, dumping her tray of fries, nuggets, and salad across the table from her closest friend and roommate. The cafeteria buzzes with broke college kids, busier than usual thanks to the light rain. It's one of those storms that starts as a light drizzle, then slowly progresses into a thundering downpour. "I'm in trouble."
"Don't tell me," Jisoo snatches a few fries from Chaeyoung's plate and Chaeyoung snaps off half her cookie in retaliation. "Does it have anything to do with the fifty dollars you wasted on emo oh she doesn't even know who I am songs last night? Because, if so, I don't want to hear it."
"What? No," Chaeyoung pouts. "Well, actually..."
"Aha!" Jisoo points at her with her own stolen fries, glaring at the girl. "I knew it. When will your lesbian ass confess already?"
Chaeyoung gestures wildly, nearly hitting an innocent passerby in the nose. Poor lad. "And there's the problem!"
"What."
"Jennie," Chaeyoung whispers conspiratorially, leaning in close and taking a very violent bite of chicken nugget. "She's my new ecology partner."
Jisoo wrinkles her nose, but her eyes sparkle with a mischief that causes Chaeyoung to fear for her life, just a little bit. "Ecology? More like chemistry!"
Chaeyoung screeches, trying to hit Jisoo with her newest novel, but she twists out of the way just in time, hopping to her feet. She blows a loud, obnoxious kiss and calls out a "See you later!" as she flounces out of the canteen. With a huff and a smile, Chaeyoung pulls out her phone and headphones, snapping them over her ears and scrolling through her playlists.
As a rich melody washes over her, her eyes sweep over the cafeteria, snagging on the huge windows that frame a picturesque view of the school grounds. She can see Jennie and Lisa dancing around in the rain, along with a few guys Chaeyoung only knows by face. Jennie pauses. She looks around confusedly, as if she's searching for something.
Their eyes meet, and, as Chaeyoung quickly busies herself with her packets of ketchup, she hopes it was an accident.
When she peers up at Jennie a moment later, the girl is back to jumping around with Lisa, so she breathes out a sigh of relief.
She can imagine the poetry she'll put together later, radiant creature, you are fire even under this blanket of rain.
"Honestly, Chae," Jisoo groans, watching as Chaeyoung hurricanes around their room in all of her disastrous gayness. "It's not a date. You're going to your classes. Jennie has seen you in your ratty sweatpants with the ugliest bedhead, so why does it suddenly matter what you look like now?"
"Because!" Chaeyoung exclaims, waving her arms around. "This will probably be the first time she is actually aware of my existence! I won't be that weird nameless background character! This is my chance, Jisoo!"
Jisoo rolls her eyes and buries herself behind her phone. "Now you're just being dramatic."
Chaeyoung continues to fling herself around the dorm, emptying the entire contents of her closet onto her bed twice.
Jisoo watches warily as Chaeyoung holds up a pleated leather skirt to her body, twirling around in front of the mirror. She turns to Jisoo with a familiar expression on her face. It's a very specific look she wears only when she, a) accidentally shattered Jisoo's heirloom vase that belonged to her deceased great-great-grandmother, b) ate all of Jisoo's sour gummy worms that explicitly stated Jisoo's in hot pink Sharpie, or, c) is about to ask a huge favor that should probably leave her in debt to Jisoo until one of them dies.
"Jisoo," she pleads. "Let me borrow your peach sweater?"
C. Called it.
"Ugh!" Jisoo flops onto Chaeyoung's bed and rolls around on the neatly displayed sundresses, effectively wrinkling the patterned fabrics. Chaeyoung barely flinches. "Everyone wants to borrow that sweater."
Chaeyoung smiles sheepishly. "I look good in it!"
Jisoo glares. "Everyone looks good in it."
"Exactly."
The older girl is unimpressed. She wiggles a bit more on the dresses, then powers her phone back on.
"Fine," she grunts.
Chaeyoung squeals in victory. "Thank you, thank you! I owe you! Eternal slavery. For real this time."
Jisoo drops her phone on her face.
The next day, Jennie waves Chaeyoung over as soon as the latter steps into ecology. Chaeyoung is so surprised by this unnatural and unexpected phenomenon that she doesn't even take the time to marvel at the miracle that is Jennie not being late to class for once.
Jennie swings her leather jacket off of the stool next to her and slips into it. Chaeyoung notices one of the pins on the collar is the exact duplicate of one on her own bag.
(It happens to be a rainbow heart. Chaeyoung tries not to think too much into that, because maybe Jennie is just into really queer stuff. Perhaps.)
Chaeyoung thinks that maybe Jennie realizes it too, but she probably just imagines it when Jennie's deep pink lips curve into a tiny smile as her gaze drops down to the matching pins.
Just as quickly, that not-moment passes, and Jennie directs her smile to Chaeyoung instead, who pretends she doesn't absolutely melt at the sight.
"Figured it'd save us time," Jennie says, patting the seat. Chaeyoung nods, swallowing, and self-consciously makes herself comfortable. She can feel Jennie's eyes burning holes through her back the whole time, and once she's settled, Jennie reaches over.
Her fingers find the sleeve of Chaeyoung's stolen sweater, gently toying with the fabric just above Chaeyoung's wrist bone.
"I like your sweater," Jennie whispers just as the professor walks in. "You look amazing."
Chaeyoung tries to will away the blood rushing up to her cheeks, and halfway succeeds. "Thanks."
The teacher begins role.
Jennie stands close by as Chaeyoung packs her stuff, having already collected her notebook and earbuds (bright pink and neon yellow today). When she straightens, Jennie carefully moves closer and brushes a few strands of glossy hair off of her shoulder, sweeping them so they hang down her back.
"You're a lot of fun, Chaeyoung," Jennie tilts her head with a pretty grin. "We should meet up sometime."
With that, Jennie strides out of the room, and Chaeyoung stands frozen for a second before bursting into a silent happy dance.
Jisoo will flip.
Later that night, Chaeyoung opens up her bag, rooting around for her journal. The day's events have left her feeling deliciously light and happy, and she feels the need to document this momentous achievement.
That happiness turns approximately 60 tons heavier and drops into her stomach moments later, when she pulls out her blue notebook.
Correction. It is a blue notebook. It is not her blue notebook.
The distinctive drawings that usually line the front and back covers are gone, replaced with several hangman and tic-tac-toe games as well as random words and slogans. Everything is written in a haphazard but undeniably elegant hand, one that Chaeyoung immediately recognizes.
There is one explanation, one that makes Chaeyoung want to curl up in a ball under her covers and die.
She and Jennie must have switched notebooks.
Panicked, Chaeyoung flips open the pages, desperately searching for anything that might let her slip into denial for just a little longer, and there, in Jennie's unmistakably unique penmanship, is the name Jennie Kim.
Shit. Her notebook. Her notebook. The one with almost 70 lined sheets of front-and-back cringy, sappy, utterly embarrassing, totally lovesick poetry all raving about one certain Jennie Kim.
There goes her life. There goes her dreams. There goes attending ecology for the rest of her college days. There goes every last shred of self-respect.
Chaeyoung smothers herself with a pillow and screams.
In the morning, (thanks to both the biggest puppy eyes Chaeyoung could muster and the extremely high amount of pity Jisoo had for her friend), the roommates feast upon frozen waffles and leftover fried chicken, sitting on Chaeyoung's unmade bed.
"Jisoo," she wails, collapsing on the bed. Jisoo thoughtfully picks up the food and sets it onto a nearby table. "It's official. I'm dropping ecology. It's over. My career in science is over. So is my life. Romantic and otherwise."
"Chaeyoung," Jisoo bites back. "I'm saying this because I love you and want you to succeed. You're actually stupid."
Chaeyoung stares.
Jisoo keeps talking anyway. "You get classes off today, especially since your ecology lesson is halfway over anyway. But you're going back on Monday, and you're getting your notebook back, and you are going to act like a normal human being, and you're getting a super-hot, super-popular girlfriend. Who could possibly get me one. All at the same time."
"Your trust in my ability to properly function is truly astonishing."
"Chaeyoung."
"Absolutely baffling."
Jisoo stands, picking up the plates and nudging Chaeyoung's thigh with her foot. "You are such a drama queen. How do I even put up with you?"
She starts to head out, but turns back when she reaches the door. "And Chaeyoung?"
"Yeah?"
"It's gonna be fine."
Since Jisoo has to leave for her art class, abandoning a sad and hopeless best friend, Chaeyoung decides to grab a coffee and duck into the library. She needs to study, after all, plus the library, or anyplace with books in general, is a no-go zone for Jennie.
(She is such a genius for thinking to go there. She doesn't want to say she's totally avoiding her crush, but of course she is. She's Chaeyoung.)
Which is why she almost spits out a mouthful of caramel macchiato when a girl clad in too-short-to-be-PG cutoffs and a white lace top with a red and black flannel tied around her waist wanders into the library, looking like she has no idea where she is. Which is probably a true statement.
Jennie is clutching an all-too familiar notebook to her chest, so Chaeyoung does what any other sane person would do. She abandons her supplies and quickly cooling drink on the table she's working at and darts between two bookcases, pretending to browse through the science fiction.
(She's not a huge scifi fan. It's too unrealistic, not unlike the way Chaeyoung thinks Jennie won't spot her.)
"Chaeyoung!" Jennie calls out, blatantly ignoring the signs that clearly read Quiet In The Library, Please.
The awkward girl considers bashing her head into the wooden shelves, but ultimately decides against it. If only to spare herself from the long, naggy lectures she would receive later from Jisoo about 1) facing her fucking fears and, 2) the many plus sides of not giving herself a concussion.
"Hey," Chaeyoung says in what she hopes is a nonchalant voice. She fidgets on her feet, crosses her arms, (because she's cold, not because she feels terrible and uncomfortable), and offers up a small smile.
"Hi," Jennie replies breathlessly, tongue darting out to lick her lips.
They're silent for a still moment before Chaeyoung finally questions, "What's up?"
"Oh!" Jennie seems to snap out of a trance. "Yeah! Um-" she holds out the journal. "I have your notebook. I guess we must have switched yesterday."
"Oh..." Chaeyoung is not so cold anymore. In fact, she's certain her cheeks are on fire. She doesn't want to ask, but she just has to know. "Did--did you read it?"
For half a second, Jennie looks just as embarrassed and called out as Chaeyoung feels, and she runs her hand through her (perfect, as always) hair. "Um, yeah, sorry, I just..."
Her voice trails off. Chaeyoung presses the notebook closer to her chest, wanting to dissolve. "I'm really sorry about that, they're...really weird."
"No, no!" Jennie's eyes widen impossibly. "They're-it's really good! Really, really good, you know? It's just, I just--"
If she's being honest with herself, Chaeyoung just really wants Jennie to finish a sentence, or even form a coherent thought. "What? You what?"
Chaeyoung doesn't know what she's expecting, but it's definitely not a kiss.
Jennie surges forward, hands reaching up to mold against Chaeyoung's jawline. Her lips, warm and cherry-coke Chapstick flavored, hurriedly press against the other's. Their noses bump a little, and Chaeyoung is in shock and still for a second too long, but it's nice and Chaeyoung gets to finally, finally comb her fingers through Jennie's silky soft hair.
It's over too soon, and Jennie steps away first, fingertips trailing down Chaeyoung's arms to clasp her hands, beaming big enough to light up the whole world.
"Wait, so," Chaeyoung tilts her head, confused. "What?"
"I like you, silly," Jennie leans closer, touching their noses together, on purpose this time. "Ever since I walked into ecology my first year and saw you there."
"I-how did you know my poems are about you? I mean, of course they are, but, I never really say so..."
"Oh," Jennie's gaze drops to the floor, looking shy. "I kinda guessed. But you confirmed it right now, didn't you? You like me?"
"Yeah." It's Chaeyoung's turn to be flustered. "I really do. But, like--what now?"
"Well," Jennie's smile is back, blinding and fond. "I was hoping you'd say yes when I asked you to be my girlfriend."
Chaeyoung's jaw drops, just a little. "Me? You want me to be your girlfriend? The awkward dork with no clue who breaks something every single time she's within five feet of you? You could probably have anyone you wanted, anyone in this whole school, this entire country, but you're picking me?"
Jennie giggles, grasping Chaeyoung's shoulders. "You're too hard on yourself. You're awesome. But, really. Would you like to be my girlfriend?"
"Yeah, I mean-" Chaeyoung pushes her hair over her shoulder, trying to disappear behind it. "Who wouldn't?"
"Excellent," Jennie's hand slips into Chaeyoung's yet again. "Let's get out of here. Libraries make me squeamish."
Lisa and Jisoo are sitting at a concrete table not too far from the library exit, enjoying the rare sun seeping through the clouds. Jisoo still has all her art supplies with her, and the pair is talking much too comfortably for two people who just met. Lisa offers her milkshake, and Jisoo takes a sip. They spot Chaeyoung and Jennie walking out into the sunshine, hands linked and swinging between them.
Jisoo cheers, fist pumping. Lisa catcalls as the couple comes closer, matching blushes decorating their cheeks.
"Looks like you two finally got your shit together," Lisa says, patting Jennie on the back. She and Chaeyoung exchange another smile. Chaeyoung's cheeks are starting to hurt. Jennie gives her hand a reassuring squeeze.
"We sure did."