Archive of Our Own

Dan was sitting on a park bench gazing at the flowers blanketing the park. It was quiet besides the slight rustle of wind through leaves, but Dan liked that he had the space to think.

Today wasn't any different from any other day. It held no significance to Dan, nor did it seem like it would leave a permanent scar in his mind. Like always, today was just another day that Dan would live to forget.

At least until the universe decided it would be a good day to tug on the carefully woven fabric of his existence.

It had all started perfectly normal. He woke up, went through his morning routine as he always did, and went to pick up his daily tea from a quaint little hole-in-the-wall shop a block from his university. Even when Dan realised the girl that always served him had been missing for three days straight and there was a 'Now Hiring’ sign on the window, he wasn't fazed in the slightest. Sure, he was able to put two and two together and realise the girl was no longer working there. Sure, he was a little disappointed about it, as she had always been kinder to him than most other people he encountered had ever cared to be, but life goes on.

Dan knew that well enough now that he could adjust to change very quickly. He'd spent more than enough nights lying awake in his bed thinking about the inevitability of death and the meaning of humanity to worry about trivial things like people he barely knew. So by this point, Dan was sure his life would be the same every day until he died.

He didn’t realise how wrong he was.

Here he was now, sitting on a bench by himself. That should have been the first warning sign. Dan never went on walks just for the sake of walking. Especially not in the morning. He only went after his uni classes were over and he needed to distance himself from that prison. When he thought about it, he never exercised if at all possible to avoid. He wasn’t sure what had prompted him to leave his room in the first place. It was as if his feet had simply started moving on their own. This may have been odd to anyone else, but now that he was here Dan was actually quite content to sit here and admire the flowers.

Dan loved the freshly bloomed roses, daffodils, and magnolias. He had always loved how all the lively colours had added a breath of life to the park, as any other time of the year it looked like Dan felt. But now it was spring, and Dan could admire the flowers.

He always had a soft spot for them; they reminded him of his childhood, and of his mother. He vividly remembered how she would always plant flowers along the front of the house and arrange bouquets on their dining room table. Nowadays, Dan had no one to bring flowers into his life. He would have to settle for community planted flowers because he sure as hell didn’t know how to take care of a plant.

Dan let his feet brush the ground as he sat. Back and forth, back and forth. The sun was slowly making its way to the very top of the sky. Honestly, Dan was surprised he got up before that had happened. His generic paper tea cup was running dry, and Dan was getting restless. He could only sit still for so long before his body started to remember all the things he had to do and his brain wouldn’t stop until he did something with his time. So, he stood, stretched rather ungracefully, and started walking.

For the second time that day, Dan let his feet do the thinking. Or rather, the aimless walking. He kept his head and eyes downcast in effort to avoid interacting with other humans. The flowers growing alongside the pavement seemed to reach for him. Perhaps they were trying to tell him something.

In any case, Dan eventually found that the tumultuous sounds of London had faded into the gentle chirping of birds and the soft rustle of leaves. At some point, the pavement had dissolved into a rocky footpath that he couldn't see the end of.

Though he didn't feel as if he was, Dan realised that he was completely alone. He also had no idea where he was. Sure, he could use the GPS on his phone to figure that out rather quickly, but Dan wasn't in any hurry to be someplace else. It was a Saturday after all, classes were off and Dan wasn't required to think very hard.

Though, now it looked like Dan would have to muster up a few brain cells to figure out where the hell he was supposed to go from here. He could keep walking forward and see where the path actually led to, or he could attempt to backtrack to the park. He decided, to hell with it, he was going to keep walking until he couldn't anymore.

The path wound into the trees to his left and pulled him deeper into the bushes, until finally, Dan stood in front of an odd entanglement of trees and bushes and small pink flowers. Dan's eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. Why would a path drag him to the middle of nowhere only to find some generic plant conglomeration? Dan wasn't about to leave this damn place until he saw something at least a tad intriguing. He was ready to get on his hands and knees if need be.

As Dan started shuffling around, something caught his eye. A shimmer of something flitted between a couple of trees in front of him. He tilted his head slightly, and there was another glint reflected into his eyes, momentarily obscuring his vision that there was enough room for him to duck under the trees and into a previously hidden hollow. So he did just that.

Dan felt his mouth fall open at the sight. He was in a meadow. A stunning, lively meadow with its own pond and hundreds of flowers. He was surrounded by patterns that never ended, each one was unique and Dan couldn't pull his eyes away. The flowers reminded him of the quilt Dan's grandmother knit him when he was younger. He missed her; he don't call her nearly as often as he should. Perhaps he would call her today once he returned to his dorm.

As he pulled himself out of his thoughts, Dan was suddenly overwhelmed with a feeling of calm. He never felt like this, not even in the flower park he had come from, not even from his lonesome walks to nowhere. No, this was different. Something about this place... it seemed too familiar yet eerily unique all at the same time. It was like a dream he had just woken up from. He wasn't sure what was real and what was just his mind refusing to cooperate. Nonetheless, he felt more at peace than he ever had in his living memory.

Dan didn’t know what came over him, but he felt his eyes start to water and bubble up to a point of near catastrophe. He let himself relax as his body collapsed into a heap on the sun-warmed grass. He pulled his knees to his chest and let a few droplets of water run down his cheeks. He felt himself opening up to this seemingly barren place. He was able to free himself of his burdens for just a moment.
Then it hit him.

Not literally, of course, as that would’ve been a plot twist he never expected from this place.

But he did remember the stories.

The legends about places like these were all too common nowadays, and they lacked the mystical feeling that they held in the earlier days of Dan's lifetime. People were used to fantastical bedtime stories by now. Honestly, no one was really sure they were ever just stories. There was something about the way the world worked that made everyone a believer in magic. Or at least, most people were believers.

He supposed there had been a time in his childhood that Dan had accepted the stories as holding some kind of honesty rather than as something entirely imaginary, and he had never truly lost that spark of imagination.

This place was something else in comparison to those legends. This place was real, or it was as far as Dan could tell, and it was magical. There was nothing peculiar that set him off to this fact except by his own feelings. He felt safe, as if there was an invisible barrier wrapped around him that nothing could penetrate. It felt like when he was alone at night, and as soon as he got into bed and under the covers he was protected from all things evil. Nothing could hurt him here.

He wasn’t sure how long he was still, staring at the reflections in the pond. Time didn’t seem to pass here, there was no movement besides his own breath in the air.

Until there was.

The surface of the water rippled right before his eyes, and a figure emerged. Dan blinked once, then twice, then rapidly in disbelief. It was a girl. No, not a girl. A tiny fluttering creature that had a girl’s face. Dan guessed that she was about half a foot tall. Her features were so small Dan found himself leaning forward with curiosity to get a clearer look.

She had a normal, human looking face apart from her delicate pointed ears and sharp facial structure. From the neck down, however, she was not human. Her torso faded into a white dandelion puff of a dress. Or body. Dan couldn’t quite tell where she stopped and flower began. Her skin was nearly translucent. It reminded Dan of a mother of pearl. Her body seemed to shimmer when the light hit it, and she became a sort of blinding star.

The most amazing part to Dan were the wings that spring from her back. They curled gently and looked as if they would tear with too hard a breath. They reminded him of rose petals. Maybe they were rose petals. They were silky and white and Dan wanted to reach out and touch them. He didn't, for obvious reasons, but if he was anybody else except himself he might have been just daring enough to have done it. It might've been a way to reassure himself of what he was witnessing right now. In fact, if he hadn’t seen her rise from the water, Dan wouldn’t have known she was real at all. His mind tried to play tricks on him, but it was too late for that. He was already in awe.

Imagine his surprise when the girl flew right up to him and placed herself on his shoulder. He gasped when he heard the voice in his ear.

A voice like delicate bells, but deeper than he expected it to be, spoke directly to his brain, “What is it that you wish?”

Dan was quite startled. “What is it that I what?” he asked the fairy.

“The magic of the meadow is never disturbed without reason. What did you come here to wish for?” The tiny girl repeated.

“But I didn’t come here for anything! I just stumbled upon this place!”

The fairy let out a surprised “Oh!” and Dan felt her shift her weight in thought. “Well, that’s very odd indeed. I suppose I’ll have to explain myself then.”

Dan was very concerned at how human this fairy sounded. In fact, he still wasn’t one hundred percent sure this wasn’t a dream. “Uh, okay.”

The girl huffed into his ear, “This place is where people come to ask for something. They come thinking that they will finally be the one to come up with a pure wish. Of course, no one has been able to do that so far. I don’t doubt you’ll be the same.”

“A pure wish? What are you talking about?”

He could tell the fairy was getting impatient with him.“This place is a wishing meadow. While you are here, I may grant you one wish. The only condition is that it is pure of heart.”

“I don’t suppose you’ll tell me what a pure wish consists of.” He meant it as a statement, he was familiar with the trivialities of magical beings. Nothing was ever as simple as it seemed.

“It’s up to you to figure that out.”

“Of course it is.”

“Would you like to try your hand?”

“Uh...” Dan thought for a moment. A pure wish. That could mean any number of things. It could mean the wish has to be pure, or the person making the wish is pure, or maybe it would have to be both. To hell with it.

Dan thought he was pretty pure of heart. He’d never done any terrible wrongs in his life, but who knows what would count. Hopefully the wish deities or whomever was listening would look over that one time in primary school and realize he was a different person now. “Yeah, I think I'll take my chances. I’m here, aren’t I”

The fairy let out a small sound that Dan chalked up to a sigh, “Get on with it then, I have things to do.”
Dan took a moment to think. What in his life could he possibly want that would be harmless to wish for? He was a university student, so that wasn’t too difficult to come up with. “I wish uni wouldn’t be so stressful.”

There was that sound again. “I thought you would be a little more creative. Guess not. Whatever. Go on then, that was your wish. You only get one.”

“Thank you.”

“Uh-huh.”

Dan pushed himself off the ground and began to leave the meadow. Before he made it to the leaf curtain, he looked back. The girl was fluttering silently above the water. He opened his mouth one last time, “What should I call you? I know I won’t see you again, but I appreciate knowing who someone is after a I’ve had such nice company.”

The fairy looked shocked. She hesitated a long while, letting her tiny jaw open and close before, “Kaia.”
“Well, it was lovely meeting you, Kaia. Thank you again.” And with that, Dan ducked through the trees and re-emerged into the forest once again. The path that led him here took him back through the park and from there he made his way to his dorm.

His roommate was out for one reason or another. Dan realized it was almost five in the afternoon. Had he really spent that long in the meadow? It must be magic after all. He flopped himself on his cardboard slat of a bed and closed his eyes. He wouldn't have to be stressed about classes anymore, so he allowed his brain to shut down for the day. No more thinking, he thought.

As Dan let his eyes drift shut, he let his mind craft its own wondrous worlds of magic and eternal glory. Nothing in Dan's life would ever be the same, he could feel it. Something lost deep inside him was expanding upwards and reaching out to grasp his heart to keep it pumping. For the first time in a very long time, Dan felt like the universe might just be on his side.

What he didn't expect was for the universe to wake him up at three in the morning. Dan was aware that his ‘brief naps’ could turn into much longer self-care sessions, but his roommate had just stumbled into their dorm, pissed drunk and failing to make as little noise as possible.

Dan rubbed his eyes and sighed. “What the hell are you doing?”

His roommate snapped his head towards Dan, as if just now realizing he was awake, and froze, “I-uh-party got crash-” Wildly flailing his arms in an effort to explain, he attempted to step over a pile of clothes and missed, tripping and landing half on his bed and half dangling in the air.

“Noah, I am not dealing with you right now. We made an agreement, and if you're not going to follow it then I don't feel obligated to help you.”

At the beginning of the year, they had made a list of rules that they would each respect in order to make their roommate situation less awkward. One of the rules was to not come back to their room inebriated. Dan couldn't really get too mad at Noah, because it was possible he couldn't find somewhere to stay. He probably just forgot, but whatever. This was university, things were bound to go awry sometime.

While Noah picked himself up with some success and managed to get himself safely into his bed before immediately falling asleep, Dan found himself to be wide awake. He knew that he should probably stop taking naps so early, but he also knew that wasn't going to happen. So, he sucked it up and went on tumblr instead.

When he got an email three hours later from one of his professors explaining to the class that exams would have to be moved up a week earlier, he almost panicked. Then, Dan closed his eyes and drew in a breath. This was fine, he was already doing well in the class and he knew everything he needed to know. He could handle this. He grinned. It seemed like his wish had been granted after all. Dan was stress-free and looking forward to going to class just to see what it was like to not worry. So far, it was fantastic.
He fell asleep once more with a smile still imprinted on his lips.

When he woke up again, he felt more rested than he ever had in his life. It was a curious thing, serenity. Never in his life had Dan been more content with simply existing. He felt as though he was floating through life as a hot air balloon- without a care where he was going, but knowing he’d end up where he needed to be safely.

He didn't have classes today, so he situated himself on the sofa in their dorm with his laptop sat on his crossed legs. Today was usually his day to figure out what he was required to do as independent work, but instead he found himself browsing the web until he was in a spiral of sloth videos and dogs.

Dan didn't bother checking his inbox or his phone until minutes had turned into hours and his legs were numb from sitting and his wrist was starting to cramp from scrolling. His body had finally screamed at him long enough for Dan to realise he was extremely uncomfortable in his current state. So, he got up, raised his arms up as far as they could go, and grabbed his phone from the kitchen counter.

As soon as he unlocked it, he was overwhelmed with texts from his roommate and even a few classmates, most of which he barely knew. Something had happened, and Dan was too far behind to figure out where it started.

He shot his roommate a message asking what was going on, and set his phone back down. Dan let the pads of his fingers fall onto the countertop with a soft rhythm. The surface cooled his rising anxiety as he shut his eyes and took a deep breath. Inhale, hold, exhale. Everything would be fine eventually.
It had to be.

Dan sat for a moment until his phone lit up with a new message from his roommate.

Noah: mr davies is out for the rest of the semester. he's gonna be in the hospital for a while. apparently he assigned all his students to do an independent study paper by the end of term. we're all screwed dude.

Dan felt his heart drop. Mr. Davies taught Civil Procedure, one of the most difficult courses required for law students, and now he wasn't going to be there to help his kids through it. Dan could feel an invisible pressure pushing down on his shoulders, and his head was starting to ache. Shit. Things were getting worse than he had ever imagined university could be. Something was very wrong. His wish hadn't worked. In fact, it seemed to have backfired on him.

Murphy’s Law, he thought, ”Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.”

Dan aggressively pulled on his jacket and stormed his way down to the tea shop. A barista he vaguely recognized from yesterday took his order. She seemed nice enough, but he wished the girl who used to work here was around. She always struck up nice conversation. She somehow relieved some of the misfortune of his existence with a warm smile and talk of ladybirds.

Dan longed for a sense of normalcy again. His life had done a one-eighty in less than a day, and he was over it. He vowed to find his way back to the meadow and figure out where he had gone wrong. Right after he got to work on his studying, of course.

A little before midday, Dan met up with Noah and a couple of his friends for lunch. It wasn’t particularly exciting, but it took Dan’s mind off of school for a couple hours.

“Do you know what you’re going to do for the study?” Noah asked.

“No.” Dan responded, “I don’t even know where to start.”

“Me neither.”

“Great.” Dan plopped his chin into his hands and sighed.

“You okay, bro?”

Dan looked up at Noah’s concerned expression, “Not really. I didn’t think this would happen. I thought I was in the clear for the rest of the year.”

“I know what you mean.”

Dan was sure he didn’t truly know what he meant. It’s not every day people get the opportunity to wish their woes away.

Wait a minute.

Dan stood from his chair faster than he had in his life, muttered a quick apology, and walked out of the shop. He knew exactly where he was going. He was going back to that damned meadow and he was going to demand a refund. Or whatever a refund was in the fantastical sense of the word.

Dan found the same path he had stumbled upon yesterday relatively easily. The meadow seemed to be drawing him in, and he was more aware of it this time around.

The trees watched him approach, and the leaves whispered among themselves as he ducked into the meadow. He was immediately overwhelmed by the rush of emotions. Dan dropped to his knees. His breathing turned into a broken record as he tried to ignore the memories flooding into his skull.

The warmth that came with the meadow didn’t bring him comfort anymore. He was here for one reason, and one reason alone, so Dan grit his teeth and called out the only name he knew, “Kaia!”

Silence. Dan really should’ve expected this. He wasn’t exactly having the calmest reaction to this whole situation. He supposed the tiny girl wouldn’t want to face him in his current state. But Dan wasn’t leaving without answers. “Kaia! I know you can hear me. Please, just listen to me!”

Dan didn’t know how long he sat there until something moved. The water didn’t move this time, but instead the fairy appeared before him. Dan was startled, and didn’t speak for a solid thirty seconds. His mouth hung in an ‘o’ shape as he blinked in attempt to reason with logic and reality.

The fairy simply watched him, her twig-like arms crossed over her chest. “You wanted something?” she said dryly.

“I did.”

Her entire body moved as she sighed, her pale wings nervously twitching behind her, “I don’t expect you are very pleased.”

Dan knew she was behind his mess of a life. It was written all over her face. “You knew this was going to happen!”

Kaia looked bored. “I told you your wish had to be pure. Obviously, yours was not.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Of course you don’t. You wouldn’t have come back if you did.”

“I want to try again.”

“You can’t do that.”

Dan pressed his thumb and his forefinger to his temple, “But I never got a wish. You said I get one wish, and then mine never came true. So, I still have one, don’t I?”

The girl stared at him with a rage he had never seen before. She knew he was right.

“I… guess,” she allowed.

“So if I make another wish and it doesn’t work, I can still come back and try again? That’s how this works.” Dan could tell he had figured a way around the rules, and the fairy hated him for it.

“I’ll tell you what,” she fumed, “you get to deal with the repercussions of your actions until you figure out how to make a pure wish. Until then, you can praise yourself because you think you figured it out. Have fun with that.”

Dan found himself grinning, “Excellent. I wish that Mr. Davies was out of the hospital.”

Kaia snorted, “Granted. Now go home.”

Satisfied, Dan left the meadow without a second glance. His first wish had been selfish and barely though through. This wish was selfless. It was bound to work in everyone’s favour rather than just his own. There was no reason this wish wasn’t pure.

Dan’s walk back to his room was relaxing. The tension in his shoulders released, and his mind was free to roam.

Once he arrived back at his room, he busied himself a bit with his exam prep work until Noah got back. Fortunately, it wasn’t three in the morning this time.

Dan looked up from his laptop, “Hey.”

Noah kicked off his shoes and started raiding the kitchen for snacks. “Hey. How’s your paper coming?”

“Uh, it’s not.” Dan tapped the side of his computer, “Is Mr. Davies doing better?”

Noah raised an eyebrow at him. “Didn’t you hear? Mr. Davies is in a coma. Happened a couple hours ago. They gave him some medication and he hasn’t woken up since.”

The dormant tension immediately flooded back into Dan’s shoulders.

His wish hadn’t worked. Again. Go figure.

Dan was fed up. He didn’t know what had gone wrong this time, or why. He’d thought he’d figured it out.
Something from his head must’ve showed on his face, because Noah asked him why he looked like he was going to pass out. Instead of answering, Dan just flipped himself into his stomach and let his body shut down. Everything sucked, and he didn’t know how to fix it. All of this was his fault. He hadn’t meant to cause anyone else trouble, but had completely and utterly fucked a bunch of lives up.

Noah didn’t try to talk to him after that, and Dan was thankful for it. He was too busy debating the pros and cons of going back to the meadow one more time. He supposed he had no other choice. It was either make everyone else suffer or make himself suffer in attempt to fix everything. He hadn’t meant to involve Mr. Davies. His teacher had a family. Dan was crushed with the knowledge that he had taken a father away from his wife and children. He never meant to hurt anyone.

For the first time in a while, Dan cried himself to sleep. He usually reserved nights like these for when he was feeling his worst, usually when he was in a depression slump. Tonight he was just a failure. Dan’s whole world was falling apart because he tried to meddle with fate. He should’ve known that you can’t change the fundamental strands of fate. That’s not how life works.

Idiot. Dan thought. He deserved this. He deserved to wallow in his own mistakes. He deserved this mess. He had brought this upon himself.

It wasn’t worth it.

Dan’s alarm woke him early the next morning. He rubbed the crust of his tears from his cheeks and blinked his bleary eyes open. He had classes today, and he was a mess.

He practically dragged himself out of bed and out of his room and down the street to pick up his tea. Dan was still half dressed in pajamas and looked like he’d been hit with a truck several times and then rolled off a cliff. He couldn’t have cared less, though.

Well, he cared when he saw who the new barista was.

The guy must not have been a student because Dan had never seen him before. He looked older, possibly out of uni already. The guy was, to put it frankly, gorgeous. He was just about Dan’s height from what he could tell, and his jet black hair fell nicely over his face. His name tag read ‘Phil’.
Dan scrambled to fix his hair, which had started to revert back to his natural curls overnight, and straighten his clothes. He had to admit he still looked terrible, but there wasn’t a lot he could do about that now. He wasn’t entirely sure why he was so concerned. He had never met this guy before, so what would he care what Dan looked like.

Dan casually opened his laptop and started typing, occasionally sparing glaces at the new guy. He ran a hand through his hair in exasperation and pursed his lips.

He heard footsteps coming towards him. Dan was relieved to finally have his tea, but when he looked up, he was looking into the most beautiful pair of eyes he had ever beheld. They were green and blue and yellow and just, wow. Phil. He would remember that name.

Dan wasn’t expecting more than a simple exchange, so naturally he was surprised when Phil struck up a conversation. “Rough day?” he asked.

Dan laughed, “More like a bad few days. Is it that obvious?”

Phil handed him his cup with a smile, “I get it. Uni is rough. Shops like these make it a little better.”

Dan took a sip of his drink, “Are you still in school? I haven’t seen you around.”

“No, I graduated a few years back.” Phil shrugged, “I’m glad to be done, but I’m not sure what to do now.”

“I’m not sure what I’m going to do either. My parents want me to be a lawyer, but I don’t see that happening.”

“Oh yeah? Well, what do you want to do?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe something in radio or media. I just know I want to get out of this place. It’s suffocating.”

Phil nodded in agreement. “I get it. I’ve always wanted to move to London.”

“Really? Me too.”

“Maybe we should drop everything and go right now.” Phil said. He sounded partially serious.

Dan was taken aback. He’d met this guy two minutes ago and was already proposing that they run away together. “Seriously? You’d do that?”

Phil shrugged again. “What have I got to lose? I mean, besides my job and my apartment and- you know what maybe I wouldn’t go right this second.”

Dan found himself laughing harder than he ever had in his life. Phil seemed to understand him. Dan had never met anyone quite like him. Everything was a little easier when he talked to Phil. It was nice, Dan decided.

He and Phil talked for a little while longer, until Phil got called back by a manager.

“Right, it’s my first day and I don’t want to get fired, so I’ll talk to you later…?” Phil trailed off, as if asking him something.

“Uh, Dan. I’m Dan. I come in every day, so I’m sure I’ll see you around.” Dan smiled up at Phil. And when Phil smiled back, his insides felt like they were melting.

“It's been lovely chatting with you, Dan.” Phil finally turned away and left Dan's head spinning.

Dan was royally screwed. There was no way for him not to screw this up. He'd already screwed up enough.

That was it. Dan haphazardly threw his things together and headed towards the meadow for what he promised himself would be one last time. He was going to fix things once and for all.

So that's how he ended up sitting on the grass twenty minutes later with a fairy, who he was certain was very tired of this routine by now, glaring at him.

“Do I even need to ask what you want from me?” Kaia said, not bothering to hide the bitterness in her voice.

Dan hummed, “I just came to fix things. I'm not sure where I went wrong with that last wish. Why did it go wrong even if it wasn't selfish?”

Kaia sighed, “You made your wish out of spite, not the kindness of your heart. A pure wish doesn't necessarily mean the wish itself is selfless, but rather what the person intends to do once given the outcome.”

“I just wish I'd never wished anything in the first place.”

“That's reasonable.”

“So what happens now?” he asked.

Kaia just shrugged and gave him a blank stare, “You'll have to wait and see.”

Dan slumped down onto the grass and gazed up at the sky. “Why is nothing is ever simple here?”
“I'm just doing my job. Your problems are not my problems.”

“And yet I've found a way to make them your problems. I'm sorry about that.”

“No harm done. Not yet, anyway.”

Not yet? Dan was confused, but he didn't think asking her more questions was going to get him anywhere, so he kept his mouth shut.

The fairy looked at him with a strange expression. Something on her face told him she knew more than she let on, but she only shook her tiny head and flew off until Dan could no longer see her. Odd.

Dan gathered himself off the ground and brushed himself off before picking up his now-empty tea cup. Although, there was something different about the cup. Dan had picked it up to where a handwritten note was visible: ‘Talking with you was great. I'd like to do that again. -Phil’ was written along with what Dan assumed was Phil's number scribbled underneath the note.

In that moment, Dan could've sworn he turned to stone. He couldn't comprehend anything. No one ever talked to Dan Howell, let alone ask him to hang out again.

Things were going too well for this to be real, he resolved. Something was bound to come along and shove him into a metaphorical ditch. Until then, why not enjoy it? Dan added the number to his contacts and sent a brief message letting Phil know who it was. Then he took a deep breath, took one last long look around the meadow for what he assumed would be the last time, and walked out to face the world.

Phil was the nicest person alive. Dan figured that out less than ten minutes after walking across his apartment's threshold and being handed a mug of hot cocoa.

“I didn't know if you liked coffee- that's all I have- but I figure most people like hot cocoa, right?” Phil's words all blended together. He was, from what Dan could tell, a nervous wreck.

Dan gave Phil the best reassuring smile he could muster, and answered honestly, “I love hot cocoa. You'd have to be inhuman not too. Good call.”

“Okay, good. Awesome. Uh, so, I was thinking we could maybe just chill for a bit. We could play Mario Kart?” Phil sucked in the inside of his cheek in anticipation.

Dan felt a massive grin form on his face, “Only if you're ready to be crushed. I am a master at Mario Kart. One could only hope to keep up with the legendary Daniel Howell.”

“Oh you're so on!” Phil bolted off down the hallway, Dan eagerly trailing behind him.

Dan could tell this was the beginning of a great friendship. Well, it was definitely a great something.

Two hours and a lot of yelling later, Dan had won five times and Phil was ready to quit.

“I repent!” Phil whined, throwing down his controller down on the sofa, “You are the master. I am just a humble citizen. I am sorry for ever doubting you.”

Dan couldn’t help the grin from spreading on his face. “I almost lost that last race, I think I’ve finally met my match.”

“We’ll have to have a rematch soon. I won’t let you win next time.”

Dan looked at Phil incredulously, “Wipe that smirk off your face, Lester, you and I both know you didn’t let me win.”

“That’s what I let you believe.”

“You lying little bastard!” Dan then tossed aside his controller and launched himself at Phil.

Dan wasn’t expecting Phil to immediately react to his attack by wrapping an arm around his neck and pulling him into a hug. He let out a small noise of surprise before relaxing into Phil’s cool touch. Phil didn’t let him go at first, instead burying his face into Dan’s hair.

“You’re warm.” Phil commented.

Dan’s brain and mouth obviously weren’t running on the same frequency. “Yeah, I have a naturally high body temperature,” he responded. He mentally slapped himself.

He felt Phil chuckle softly underneath him. “That explains it. Do you want to watch a movie or something?”

Phil finally let go of Dan at this point, much to Dan’s disappointment, and reached for the remote. Dan shifted himself back into a vertical position on the sofa. “Yeah, what have you got?”

They ended up choosing an anime they had both seen before. Dan found himself not very invested in the show, no matter how much he had enjoyed it the first time, but rather stuck in his own world. Dan never hung out with people, let alone college graduates that he met recently. Something about Phil reminded Dan of himself, and he couldn’t find it within himself to resist it. It just felt right when he was with Phil.
God, he hoped he wouldn’t screw this up somehow.

Time passed in an instant when he was with Phil. It had been hours at this point and Dan hadn’t even bothered to check the time since he had arrived. He only looked at his phone when he looked out the window and discovered that the light was fading into purple. “Shit,” he muttered.

Phil must have heard him despite the volume of the television, “You alright?”

“Yeah, I just didn’t realise how late it was.”

Phil followed Dan’s gaze to the window in the living room. “Oh, wow. Me neither.”

“I suppose I should get going.” Dan said. He didn’t make any move to actually do so, however.

“Yeah, I suppose.” Phil didn’t move either.

“Yeah.”

They sat like that for a minute or two before Phil spoke. “You know, you could just stay over. I have room.”

Dan wanted to say yes. He really did, but he knew he couldn’t. “I would, really, but I actually have to get up early for classes tomorrow. Maybe this weekend we can meet up again?”

Phil looked relieved that Dan had offered to see him again. “We could go get some dinner Friday night at that restaurant down the street? If that’s alright with you, of course.”

Dan smiled warmly, “I’d love to.”

When he arrived back to his dorm, Dan was surprised to see Noah already propped up on his bed, typing away on his phone.

Noah looked up at him with a weird look on his face, “Dude, where were you? I never get back before you.”

“I was, uh, out.” Dan said sheepishly.

“Oh shit, you met someone, didn’t you?”

Dan felt a flush rise in his neck and spread to his cheeks. “I did not!”

Noah let out an unconvinced hum before returning his attention to his phone. “Whatever. I’m happy for you.”

“But I didn’t-” Dan cut himself off, “Nevermind you, I’m going to sleep.”

Dan learned that Mr. Davies had woken up from his coma the next day, but he wasn’t being discharged from the hospital until the end of the week. This was odd to Dan. His wish had sort of come true, but it was mostly still a mess. He still felt guilty about putting Mr. Davies in the hospital in the first place, but he was relieved to know that he would be okay in the end.

The rest of the week went by fairly normally. Dan and Phil texted non-stop. It never felt forced. Dan found himself wishing they had more time to talk apart from mornings in the shop. So, naturally, when Friday night rolled around Dan was ecstatic. Unfortunately, he was also a wreck.

He was in the middle of trying on his third shirt when Noah finally picked up on what was happening.
“Are you going on a date or something?”

Dan smoothed out the edges of his shirt before giving up and tucking it in. “No.”

“Then what on earth are you so stressed about.”

“That’s none of your concern. What are you still doing here anyhow?”

“I’ve been waiting for you to leave so I can invite my girl over.”

“That’s gross. Stay away from my side of the room.”

Noah held up his hands in mock guilt. “You asked. Now, are you done getting ready for your not-date or am I going to have to kick you out of here.”

“It’s not a date! And yes, I’m leaving.”

“Great! Have fun, be safe! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Noah called after him as Dan sauntered out of the room and let the door close in his face.

Phil was waiting for Dan when he arrived. He was wearing a crisp blue button-up shirt with a collar, and Dan was taken aback.

When Dan walked up to him, Phil gave him a once-over and then said, “You look nice.”

“It’s a nice restaurant.” Dan cringed and tried again. “I mean, so do you.” There.

Phil laughed that gorgeous laugh and shook his head, “You’re a mess.”

Dan snorted, “Tell me something I don’t know. Can we pretend I know how to be a human being and go inside now?”

“I think we can manage that.”

Phil was charming as always. Dinner was filled with laughter and ridiculous banter about who-knows-what. All Dan knew is that he was having a great time. He’d never enjoyed the company of another person more than this moment.

About halfway through their meal, Dan blurted, “Is this a date?” He wanted to slap himself. Why has he chosen to say that?

Phil simply looked at him, “Do you want it to be?”

Dan cursed himself for ever opening his mouth. “I don’t know, it’s just- Well, my roommate kept calling this a date and I guess-”

“Wait, you told your roommate about me?” Phil had a fond look in his eyes, humoured, even.
Dan blushed, “Not exactly. He figured I must have been seeing someone as I’d never leave the house otherwise.”

“I can’t believe I’m the only person you leave your room for. I mean, you’re the only person I leave my apartment for, so-”

“Christ, we’re lame.” Dan laughed.

“I guess this is a date.”

“It sure feels like one.”

Phil smiled warmly, “Then it is.”

That was it. They moved on to other conversation and nothing changed too drastically. If anything, it got easier to interact. Their body language relaxed and they became comfortable just basking in each other’s presence. It was nice. Dan hadn’t been on a date since the beginning of university, and he had almost forgotten what it felt like.

When they walked out of the restaurant that night, they were both giggly and half-drunk on the euphoria of each other.

Phil pulled Dan to the side, “You know, if this was a date you’d have to kiss me.”

Dan couldn’t help his smile, “If this was a date maybe I would.”

“Good thing this is a date, then.”

Dan hummed in response, then kissed him. Phil’s lips were soft and warm and everything Dan had imagined them to be and more. Phil kissed him back, bringing his hands up to cup Dan’s jaw. Dan felt himself melt. He had to steady himself with his hands on Phil’s chest as he pressed himself into Phil. He felt his lips part softly, gently exploring all that was Phil. He didn’t want this to end. So when he had to pull away, he sighed lightly. He understood, however, that they were in a car park and needed to leave at some point.

Phil searched Dan’s eyes for a moment. “Would you have any interest in coming back to my apartment?”

Dan smiled for the millionth time that night, “I’d love to.”

At some point during the walk, Phil reached out and slipped his fingers into Dan's. His skin was soft and fit his better than anyone's ever had. Dan didn't think the smile ever left his face that night, not even for the briefest of moments. Not when they stumbled into Phil's apartment laughing about nothing in particular, and certainly not when they curled up next to each other on Phil's bed.

It all seemed too perfect, but Dan didn't care. He may not believe in much, but after everything, he still believed in love.

The morning could barely still be considered morning by the time they woke up. It was nearly twelve, and the pigeons outside were having some kind of festival.

Dan opened his eyes slightly, then immediately shut them again because the amount of light streaming into the room was painful. “What the hell is that sound?”

Phil shifted slightly and chuckled, “Those would be the pigeons. I should have given them names by now, but I haven't. They're like an alarm clock.”

“Well, they can fuck off.” Dan buried his face further into the space between Phil's chest and arms.

Phil poked his shoulder. “Language, Dan.”

“Fuck you.”

“Hey!”

“You brought this upon yourself. What time is it, anyway?”

“Quarter past twelve, just about.”

Dan finally pried his eyes open at this, “My roommate is going to flip when I get back.”

“Might as well stay for breakfast.” Phil raised himself into a sitting position, taking Dan with him, “I can't promise you a gourmet meal but I do have a plethora of cereal to choose from.”

“Sounds like my kind of breakfast.”

“Good, because that's all I've got.”

Dan laughed.

They both moved around the kitchen like they did this every day. It was fascinating just how well Dan and Phil worked together like some well-oiled machine. Phil gathered utensils and passed them along to Dan, who set the table while Phil poured them each a bowl of cereal.

And Dan wasn't complaining when he accidentally tripped over his own feet and landed in Phil’s conveniently placed arms, nor was he complaining while Phil kissed him lightly and told him to be careful. Actually, he made a mental note to trip himself more often whenever he was around Phil.

Dan never wanted to leave, but eventually he had to. He still had to deal with uni and he still had to deal with the repercussions of his wishes. Plus, Phil had to work part-time at the cafe. Not everything in his life could be quite as nice as the time he spent with Phil, he supposed. He left the apartment with just enough time to walk to his room before it got dark.

Of course Noah was already there. This was becoming routine for him to show up before Dan these days. It was rather exhausting.

Noah eyed him suspiciously as soon as he stepped through the door frame, “Someone had fun on their not-date.”

“Turns out it was a date,” he relayed, sheepishly. He dropped his stuff at the end of his bed and splayed himself out atop the duvet.

“I knew it! You totally got laid!”

Dan rolled his eyes, “I'm not that kind of person, Noah.”

“But something happened, obviously. You didn't come back last night and you're wearing the same clothes you wore yesterday.”

“Stop being so invested in my sex life just because you don't have one.”

Noah gaped at him, “That is not true! My sex life is extremely well satiated!”

“TMI, dude.”

Noah shrugged, “You're just jealous.”

“I'm not-” Dan pressed a finger to his temple. He could feel a headache forming right behind his skull. “I give up with you.”

“Mhm.” Noah turned away from him, clearly checking out of this conversation entirely.

“I'm going to study.” Dan pulled his laptop onto his outstretched legs. “Don't forget tomorrow is laundry day.”

“You only remind me every week.” Came the grumble from the other bed.

It was true, he did. Dan had learned his lesson after realising a week into uni that he hadn't packed nearly enough pants to last him the whole year, and he needed a way to wash the only three jumpers he ever wore. He hated going to the laundromat, and yet he was too lazy to hand wash everything, so he opted for the former.

This particular laundry day must have been some kind of test of Dan's willpower, because it was hell. As he waited in line, another test for his patience, he swore he saw someone steal a sock from a pile of discarded items and walk out of the store. That was it for Dan. He had never been so claustrophobic and uncomfortable that he hopped in a cab right then with his sack of laundry and recited Phil's address from memory.

When he reached Phil's door, Dan stopped. What on Earth was he doing? He didn't even know if he was allowed to show up unannounced like this, let alone ask to use his washing machine. He was here now. Might as well.

He knocked.

Phil opened the door a few seconds later. He was clearly surprised to see Dan, looking pathetic and distressed with a bag thrown over his arms.

“What are you doing? Do you need to move in? Are you okay?” Phil's eyebrows were pressed together with concern.

“I, uh, I need a washing machine.”

“Alright, you can use mine.” He waved Dan inside. “Did public laundromats finally drive you away? I feel like all uni students go through that at some point.”

Dan followed Phil through his apartment, “Yeah. I think I've hit my breaking point this year. Everything's a mess.”

“It can't be that bad.”

Dan stuffed his clothes into the washer while he spoke, “Oh yes it can. I made some stupid decisions without thinking and I somehow managed to get others caught in the crossfire. Everything's falling to pieces and it's all because of me!”

“Hey, look at me.” Phil took Dan's hand in his grasp, “I'm absolutely certain that none of it is your fault. You only have good intentions, I know it. Don't be so hard on yourself.”

“It's hard not to be when I know I could've prevented all of it.”

Phil gave Dan the most reassuring smile he had ever seen. “Everything will be okay, Dan. I promise you.”

“Okay… okay.” Dan fought against the moisture forming in his eyes.

Phil noticed his quiet battle, but didn't say anything more. Instead, he pulled Dan to his chest and simply held him there. He felt Dan's breath hitch, then gradually steady as Dan processed.

When Dan finally felt normal again, he lifted his head to gaze at Phil.

Phil noticed. “What?”

“Your eyes are so beautiful.”

Phil’s pale skin turned rosy, “Thanks.”

“I mean, the rest of you is pretty too, but your eyes… they're like the ocean.” Dan was feeling very sleepy and very sappy and maybe just a little bit in love.

Phil was a lovely shade of scarlet at this point, “When you say things like that, I can't help but wonder where you've been all my life. Like, why now?”

Dan shrugged as best he could while still in Phil's arms, “Coincidence.”

“Maybe. I suppose you aren't someone who believes in fate, then?”

“I don't believe in anything.”

“Surely you believe in something.”

“Hm. Well, I believe in coincidences.”

“That can't be it!”

Dan huffed, “I mean, I guess I believe in love.”

Phil's smile was so big that it barely fit on his face, “That's a good thing to believe in.”

“Yeah.” Dan nodded his sleepy head back between Phil's arms and chest.

Phil dropped a kiss on top of Dan's hair, “Yeah.”

Once Dan finally washed all his laundry and the two had made out a little more than necessary, Phil called Dan a taxi to make sure he got home safe.

Dan was getting sick of the whole process of leaving Phil's apartment. He liked it there, it was warm and inviting. Honestly, it felt like more of a home than anywhere Dan had ever lived.

Dan was still very tired and overwhelmed by the time he fumbled his keys into the lock on his door. He didn't do much productive work that day. He fell asleep before he got the chance.

Until Noah woke him up like the absolute bastard that he was.

“What took you so damn long to do laundry? It's been ages.”

Dan squinted his eyes until they adjusted, “I may have taken a detour.”

“What the hell does that mean?” Noah was sitting on the edge of his bed, looking down on him.

“I found a different place to do laundry.” Dan turned his head so he was talking into his pillow.

Noah crossed his arms. “Oh, I get it. Be all secretive. I'm going to meet this mystery date eventually.”

“I’m sure you will,” he mumbled into his pillow.

“Great. Let's all meet for lunch tomorrow at the cafe down the street. I can bring my date and you can bring yours.”

Dan had a momentary panic session. Noah didn't know Phil. Hell, Noah didn't even know that Dan liked boys. Plus, Dan had never met the girl that Noah always talked about. Who knows how she would react? This could go wrong in so many ways. But the more Dan thought about it, the more Dan realised that he didn't care anymore. He would be in a relatively public area, and he would have Phil. It would all be just fine.

“Sure,” he finally said, “we’ll be there.”

Dan had never seen Noah so excited. “This is going to be wicked.”

Dan sent a quick text to Phil letting him know the situation. Phil was completely understanding and was prepared for anything. It would all be fine. At least, that’s what he hoped.

Dan was a wreck the entire next morning. He was running around, throwing clothes, trying to flatten his hair. He wasn't exactly sure what he was preparing himself for, but he wanted to be ready no matter what life threw at him.

By noon, he thought he was ready for anything.

Noah poked his head through the doorway, “Are you done yet? I've been ready for like twenty minutes. Why are so worried? It's not like we're trying to diffuse a bomb or anything.”

We might as well be, if this goes sideways, Dan thought. “I'm just jittery, y'know?”

“Yeah, right. Can we leave now?”

Dan smoothed down his last bit of brown hair and sighed. “Yeah, okay.”

Dan was bouncing his leg anxiously under the table. Neither Phil nor Noah's date had arrived yet, and Dan was not good with waiting. So when he finally saw Phil walking up to the cafe, he had to physically restrain himself from leaping out of his chair. He straightened his spine as quickly as possible and didn't take his eyes off of Phil. Noah followed his gaze once he noticed it.

Noah blinked a few times, "I totally thought you were bringing a girl."

Dan snorted, that wasn't the reaction I was expecting, but I'll take it. "That's called heteronormativity. It's all the rage."

"Well, shit. Sorry." He stood to greet Phil when he walked up, "It's nice to finally meet the mystery man. I'm Noah."

Phil shook Noah's hand. "You too. I'm Phil. Dan's told me many stories."

Noah laughed nervously, "Only good ones, I hope."

Phil smiled warmly, "Of course not. What kind of roommate would he be if they were?"

Noah's eyebrows went up, then he turned to Dan, "I like this guy."

Dan ushered them both to sit down before they started attracting attention, "Good. I do too."

That sure got a look out of Phil. He'd never seen that kind of adoration directed towards him. Not ever. Not even from his own mother. He liked it. A lot.

It was only a few more minutes until Noah's date arrived. Her name was Ciara, and she was stunning as well as extremely polite. She was the classic Irish girl, red hair, fair complexion, and more freckles than plain skin. She was soft-spoken, but immediately made it clear that she wasn't afraid to assert herself. She didn't even bring up the fact that Dan's date was Phil, which he was endlessly grateful for.

Dan wasn't expecting to, but he was having a great time.

Finally, Ciara was the one to clear the air, “So, you two,” she gestured at Dan and Phil, “How did you meet?”

Dan was tongue-tied at the thought. Fortunately, Phil spoke for both of them, “It's funny actually, we met right here. I work here part-time. One day we just started talking and the rest is history.”

Ciara smiled, “Classic, I like it.”

Dan was thrilled at how well this was going. “How about you two, how do you know each other?”

“We’ve actually been really good friends since primary school. We realised that our universities aren’t that far away, so we planned a day just to catch up and then, well, things happened.” Noah looked like he could talk about this for hours. He couldn’t take his eyes away from Ciara for more than thirty seconds at a time. Dan thought it was a little ridiculous.

The rest of their lunch went by smoothly. Dan felt as if he’d never been closer to a group of people than with these three. He didn’t spend much of his time around Noah, but he came to recognize just how nice he could be. They all agreed to meet again as soon as Ciara had another chance to visit.

They walked out of the cafe as a group, but had to split once they reached the pavement. Dan was lost in thought. His mind had only been focused on two things today. University and Phil. He thought he had figured out what he wanted by now, and he knew exactly how to do it.

Dan took Phil’s hand in his, “I want to show you something.”

Phil raised an eyebrow, “Okay. Where are we going?”

“It’s a secret, you’ll see.” Dan began to walk in the familiar direction towards the edge of town.
They walked in comfortable silence for most of the trip, but just before they arrived, Dan mustered up the courage to voice his thoughts.

“I want to drop out of university.”

Phil stopped in his tracks, “You what? Are you sure?”

Dan shrugged off the anxiety. His hands were shaking. “I just thought, since I hate taking law anyway, I could withdraw. Maybe I could take up something different, without uni.”

Phil noticed his hands and clasped them between his own, “I’ll always support you, you know that. You can come stay with me- I mean- only if you want-”

“Really? You’d do that for me?”

“Of course I would. You’re special to me.”

Dan had a goofy smile on his face. He could barely contain himself. “Oh my god, I love you!” He immediately smacked a hand to his face. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. It was too soon, he wasn’t thinking, he-

Phil had flushed pink, and his next words came out flustered, “I’ll take that as a yes, then.”

Dan breathed a sigh of relief that Phil hadn’t felt obligated to say it back. He didn’t think he was ready for that just yet, “Yeah, that’s a yes.”

“Great, now are you going to tell me where we are?”

“We’re almost there.”

Dan led Phil through the woods and to the opening in the trees. Phil watched his curiously as he stepped into the meadow. He was hesitant at first, then stepped through once Dan held out his hand to help him. Dan sensed Phil’s surprise when he entered the meadow. His features softened, and his eyes went wide.

“Whoa, what is this place?”

Dan sat criss-crossed in front of the water, “Do you remember hearing the stories about places like these?”

Phil sat next to him, never letting his eyes stop bouncing from one thing to another. “Yeah. My mum liked to talk about the one she encountered as a child. I always knew she couldn’t have been making that up. The way she described it… it was too real.”

Dan watched Phil’s face light up with happiness as he babbled about the stories. Then, he saw the flickering of wings. “Look! There they are!”

The fairy that appeared was different than before. She was made entirely of red rose petals, and she gently placed herself upon Phil’s shoulder to whisper in his ear. Phil’s eyes turned into saucers as his amazement made itself clear. Slowly, more fairies started to show themselves. Dan gasped. He hadn’t known how many of them there were. There must have been hundreds, and they all danced around them to some invisible song.

Kaia emerged from the crowd and sat herself on Dan’s leg. “It’s nice to know I was wrong about you.” She smiled.

“What do you mean?”

“You brought him here. You wanted him to feel the way you did when you first arrived. You didn’t even think about the wishes you were going to make.”

“I don’t need any wishes. I can make my own decisions.”

“And so you will,” she looked over at Phil, who was shaking his head at the rose fairy, “and so will he.”

Dan looked back at the dandelion fairy, but she was gone. He looked back to Phil. “Thank you,” he whispered under his breath.

The rose fairy looked satisfied, so she spread her wings and joined the rest of them. Phil shuffled over to where Dan was sitting and placed his head on his shoulder.

“What did you wish for?” Phil asked.

“I don’t want anything. I have everything I want right in front of me.”

“Sap.”

“Says the guy who did exactly the same thing!”

“True. We’re both saps.” Phil smiled and planted a kiss on Dan’s cheek.

They sat like that for awhile, watching the fairies. It was so peaceful. Their fingers were loosely intertwined, and they were happy.

When they left, Dan wasn’t concerned. He knew everything bad that had happened would resolve itself eventually, with or without his help. For now, he had Phil, and that was all he needed. The path home was lined with flowers, and Dan was reminded of his mother. He missed her every day, and he missed his childhood. But some things had changed. He had Phil to bring the light back into his life. He wasn’t alone anymore, though he knew he was never really alone.

Neither of them noticed when the opening between the trees twisted itself closed. No one would ever pass through it again, but that was okay.

It was never meant for anyone else.