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Marvin had not wanted to go to the synagogue. He was not really religious, and he thought the whole thing was a waste of time, although as a kid he often appreciated going there - if only because it brought his family together. As a man in his late thirties, though, he did not see much of his family anymore. Only on the occasional holidays.
Yet he found himself in the synagogue that Saturday afternoon, only because his loving wife, Trina, had asked him to go with their 9-year-old son, Jason. Marvin always did what Trina told him - especially if it meant getting out of the house and away from her. No, he did not hate his wife. He just always somehow felt trapped at home… like he was suffocating in their daily routine. Stuck in a rut.
Trina had been very worried about their son, Jason, lately. He had no friends, never played outside and always sat in the living room playing chess by himself - a habit he had developed, perhaps because his father - who had taught him how to play - had not had time to play with him for months because of work.
So not only did she want her son to go out and experience something in the real world, but she also wanted him to bond more with his father. This resulted in them going to baseball games - where Marvin was embarrassingly more fixated on the players than the game itself, and to art museums - where they would just walk around together, looking at different things without talking… generally they had not been good at doing anything together. But this Saturday they were at the synagogue. And Marvin had decided to make an effort today.
Jason was wearing his favorite baseball t-shirt and some old, distressed jeans. His mother, Trina, had begged of him to wear something more respectable, since they were going to a service, but when Jason had looked at his father with pleading eyes, Marvin had simply shrugged and said, “let’s go, kid.”
Now that they were there, Marvin did notice that many of the other kids were wearing slightly more formal clothing - something that seemed funny to Marvin, since it was just the synagogue on any regular Saturday. But then, he knew from his own upbringing how Jewish families were about keeping up appearances. And a part of him couldn’t help but feel embarrassed at how casually his son was dressed. But then he let it go.
The service was nothing out of the ordinary and Marvin had not really paid much attention. He was kind of lost in thoughts when he looked up suddenly and saw his son talking to a tall, dark-haired stranger.
“Hey, kid. Nice shirt!” Jason looked to where the voice was coming from and saw a kind-looking man, looking at him. Jason had a slightly puzzled look on his face and gestured vaguely at his t-shirt. The man chuckled warmly. “Yeah, I’m talking to you,” he said as he moved a bit closer, keeping enough distance as to not frighten the child. “I love baseball. I always wanted to play as a kid, but my mother - god bless her soul - would not let me, because she was scared I would get hurt.” The man laughed, and Jason immediately felt comfortable with him. “Do you play?”
Jason nodded and smiled. There was a slight pause. Then Jason stuck his hand out in front of him, waiting for the man to shake it. “My name is Jason” he said as he did, and the man took his hand and shook it. “A pleasure to meet you, young sir. I’m Whizzer.”
Marvin was conflicted. His fatherly instincts saying that every stranger is a potential child molester kicked in first and he had to go over there. As he got up, a bit too quickly, some people nearby were looking weirdly at him. He started walking towards his son but felt himself coming to a halt as he was close enough to see the man’s face. He was beautiful. Such kind eyes, charming smile, and a body that- stop yourself, Marvin he thought to himself. You’re a respectable man. A married man. But god damn was he pretty.
Marvin finished his trotting towards them, as he realized if he stood still there for too long he would look like a creepy stalker.
He came up from behind Jason and cleared his throat. Jason looked back at him and the man did as well. Marvin’s heart swelled as he noticed just how deeply brown his eyes were, but he did what he could to conceal his conflicting emotions. He did not even understand them himself. He just knew it was something new and unusual.
“Hello,” Marvin said, his voice deepened as if over-compensating for his feeling of a lack of masculinity. “Are you ready to go home?” He said this in a more normal tone of voice, directed at his son.
“Dad, this is Whizzer!” Jason said, completely and intentionally ignoring his father’s request. He liked this man and he wanted him to become friends with his dad.
Whizzer… strange name, Marvin thought to himself, but decided it was best not to ask about it.
“Marvin.” He stuck out his hand and Whizzer took it. That was when he accidentally bit his lip and had to pretend that he hadn’t. But Whizzer noticed, and Jason noticed. And they both laughed at him. Not an evil, condescending laugh. Just a slight, silent chuckle. Still, Marvin was embarrassed.
“Do you come here often?” Marvin found himself asking, and immediately wanted to slap himself for saying something so cliché.
Whizzer shrugged. “Once in a while,” he replied slightly dismissively. “More so now after my mother died.” Then the awkward silence befell them. Whizzer had overshared. He always did this. And the main problem was that once he had started oversharing he just could not stop again. “It’s a good thing, really. That she died when she did. She would never have survived finding out that her only child is gay.”
Marvin’s heart skipped a beat. He could not believe what he was hearing. A stranger he had just met, so openly admitting to being gay right in front of his child. He was outraged. Or at least, that was what he thought he was feeling. Mostly, he was confused. He could not really tell what he was feeling. It felt like he had a pit in his stomach. It took a few moments before he could say something, and all he mustered then was a pathetically quiet and weak “not in front of the child.”
Jason was confused. “What’s ‘gay’?” he inquired, looking at his dad for an explanation.
“Never mind that!” blurted out Marvin a little too eagerly. “Let’s go home.”
Whizzer, who was feeling spiteful went directly against Marvin’s wishes to keep this kind of information to himself and asked Jason “do you know how mommy and daddy love each other?”
If only that was true, Marvin thought to himself. He could not recall the last time he had felt something that resembled love. However, he was convinced that Trina still loved him, so that was good enough.
Jason nodded and waited for Whizzer to continue. “Well, I love men that way,” he said very matter-of-factly.
“Oh, you’re a homo!” Jason exclaimed as if it was the most natural thing to him. Whizzer nodded excitedly.
“Jason! Where do you know that word from?” Marvin hushed him, hoping that no one around was listening in on their conversation. He did not wait for Jason’s response, he simply commanded him to wait outside in the car while daddy had a word with the nice man.
“Nice kid you have,” Whizzer said to Marvin after Jason had left.
“Don’t fill him with that… sort of thing!” Marvin retorted back, paying no mind to the compliment at all.
“Here.” Whizzer stuck out a small piece of paper for Marvin to take from him.
“What’s that?” Marvin asked suspiciously.
“Just take it.” Marvin took the paper. It was a phone number. Presumably Whizzer’s.
“Anyone can see from a mile away that you’re not straight,” he said provocatively. “Although you certainly do dress like one.”