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It has been 5 days since JR shot the blackmailer and broke up with Petra. Therefore, it has been 5 days since Petra has slept. Overtaken with grief and sleep deprevation, Petra has only had the courage to drop her girls off at school (not even getting out of the car, but letting them run in by themselves), and pick them up. She couldn't even show up for meetings because she would look like a mess. She did all that she could from her bedroom
Just like the last 5 nights, Petra refrained from her usual silk nightwear and decided to indulge in oversized t-shirts, sweatpants or yoga pants, and a jar of pickles. And just like any of those past few nights, she begged for sleep, but just like any of those past few nights, sleep never came. And Petra knew why sleep never came. She could still smell JR in her bedsheets and clothes. It was like JR had suddenly died or dissapeared. So, just like any of those past few nights, Petra cried until her beautiful shining blue eyes, turned into red, with swollen eyelids.
Petra slept for 2 hours before she inevitably woke up again.
Thank god it's Saturday she thought, but was immediately consumed with the ideas on how she was going to have to cancel Sunday Brunch with Jane and Rafael. Her thoughts continued until she heard a knock at her door. Petra lazily got up and opened the door to see a worried Jane Villanueva.
"Are you okay? I haven't heard from you in a couple of days and I ju-" Jane tried to explain, with the most genuine and worried look Petra had seen in days. Jane tried to continue but was interrupted by Petra bursting into tears. Having Jane guide her to her couch where she cried for 10 minutes while Jane tried to console her.
"J-JR broke up with me." she stuttered through while bursting into tears again.
"Oh. Petra, you'll get through this, okay?" Jane said reassuringly, "And-". As Jane tried to continue, Petra's phone had interrupted her. Petra grabbed her phone and saw the caller ID. Petra's eyes widened in shock.
"It's JR" Petra sniffled through.
"Ok, then answer it." Jane advised.
She clicked the green button on the bottom, left corner of her screen and held the phone to her ear.
"Hi" she said breathely.
Put it on speaker, Jane mouthed.
Petra did what was asked. Petra, waiting for an answer, realized all she could hear are sounds of people talking in the distance, then she heard JRs laugh. "Hello?" she said again, hoping for an answer. She then realized that JR simply butt-dialed her, and Petra's heart felt like it was squashed by 1,000 bricks. There was a slight hope that JR would be calling to finally get together. Like a fairytale, where they ride off into the sunset. But Petra needed to stop hoping, because she was convinced that there was no way that she would ever see JR again.
That night Petra was home alone. Rafael had the twins and Jane had to take care of Mateo. Honestly, she needed time to cope without having to pretend that she was fine. Her eyes still puffy and red from crying for 5 days straight, she decided to move past it. To get her mind off of the incident that she would no longer speak of, she rewatched Passions of Santos on Netflix and ordered room service. When it arrived, she heard a knock on the door.
"Come in, it's opened!" Petra shouted. She was too into the show to be distracted by an employee. She heard another knock on the door. Petra paused the show in disdain for whoever was behind the door.
Petra opened it to see the last person in the world she would have expected. Jane Ramos.
"Hi." JR said quickly, "I left my only pair of sneakers here, can I come in and get it?" JR said in a cold voice, not wanting to make eye contact with Petra. Petra felt as if all of this were surreal. Petra opened the door wider and stepped aside so JR could walk in. She closed the door and stood facing the door for a while. Her brain needed to catch up to what was going on.
She turned and saw JR in her bedroom, she was searching under Petra's bed for a pair of sneakers. Petra walked into her bedroom and stood behind JR. Petra was trying to find words to say and even though Petra had convinced herself that it was over and that she was over it, Petra had this unexplanable softness when it came to JR.
JR got up from under the bed holding a pair of sneakers and accidentally making eye contact with Petra. JR quickly looked away, but had to do a double take when she saw Petra's eyes. There were bags under her eyes. They were red and puffy and JR mistakenly shot a look of concern.
"Are you okay?" JR asked without thinking. JR immediately regreted showing concern for Petra.
"No," Petra started, "because even though I lied to you, you lied too, but to yourself." JR looked confused and was about to say something, but Petra beat her to it.
"You convinced yourself that I never loved you and I never cared for you, and of course I did. If I was really acting like I loved you this entire time, give me a damn Oscar." Petra continued without thinking. All those sleepless nights of thinking and crying finally spilled out of her. "Plus, once the case was dismissed, wouldn't I have just ended things then? It wouldn't make any sense to keep you around and tell you that I loved you if this was all a plot to keep me out of jail."
"I-" JR started, but Petra interrupted immediately.
"By any chance, if you were still wondering if I loved you... the answer is yes, I do," Petra said, eyes welling up with tears, "because I can't stop loving you."
Petra waited on a response from JR. While waiting, Petra started sobbing and needed to sit down on her bed. Petra looked up at JR and saw her thinking. Petra just wanted to be wrapped in her covers in the comfort of her bed. She layed down on her side, back to the door, or where JR was, and covered her entire body with covers, only leaving her head out.
"Look," Petra started, "you can go if you want, I'm over it." Petra was prepared for another sleepless night full of crying and thinking.
But JR knew that Petra loved her and that she was very much NOT over it. JR loved her back and wanted her back, and yes, Petra lied, but Petra was worth her career and reputation.
Petra was expecting the sound of heels against the marble floor slowly dissapearing, but instead she heard nothing, but felt a dip in the mattress and JR's warmth. Petra felt a hand around her stomach. JR scooted in to spoon Petra. Within seconds of JR spooning Petra, Petra was fast asleep. It was the best sleep she's ever had.