Actions

Work Header

Destiny Reconsiders

Summary:

********INFINITY WAR SPOILERS KINDA*********

If you think about it, Thanos didn't HAVE to kill half the universe. There's other ways around that shit fam.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Thanos: Destiny has arrived.

Peter: Hey um? Mr. Thanos?

Thanos: What is it boy?

Peter: It's Peter actually. But, I know you're pretty set on destroying half the universe in order to preserve resources but I have a counter offer.

Thanos: Not interested.

Peter: Just hear me out dude, this is how people have conversations on earth.

Thanos:......Proceed.

Peter: What if, instead of killing like, everyone's loved ones, including your own by the way JUST SAYING. Why don't you just use the infinity stones to make more resources? Like, so the resources to people ratio are more balanced.

Thanos:.....You are quite intelligent, little one.

Peter: Thanks. But yeah, not only would that help like, a lot. But you won't be remembered as an evil person yknow? Think that'd qualify you for like, a hero status.

Thanos: You think so?

Peter: Oh dude, absolutely! And chicks eat that up too.

Thanos: I'm not really looking for a relationship right now though, i have what you humans call a 'thing' going on with the mistress of death.

Tony: I'm sorry? What just happened here? Am I having a stroke?

Thanos: The child made some very strong points.

Doctor: So, what? You're just going to use the infinity stones to create more resources and that's it?

Thanos: Yes, that is what the child had suggested.

Doctor: And I can have the time stone back after?

Thanos: I suppose, I will have no use for them after.

Doctor: Alright, good. Thank you for reconsidering.

Peter: Hey maybe sometime after this you, me, my girlfriend, and the mistress of death can go on a double date?

Thanos: No, I don't think that'll happen anytime soon. I'm going to be in the 'dog house' for a while after not killing half the universe like I told her I would.

Peter: Ah, that's tough man. I hope you guys will work it out.

Thanos: Thank you, little one.

Peter: But hey, while we're all here, how about a tour around the place?

Thanos: I don't see why not.

 

 

 

End

Notes:

I wrote this because I'm still fucked up from infinity war. Does this help? No. But it makes me laugh.