Chapter Text
Red light spilled out from under the threshold of a bedroom door at the very end of a hallway, watched closely by several fretted egos on the opposite end of the hall. Chase had leaned his head and neck around the corner to peer to the other side, Marvin's ears stuck out ludicrously ahead of his eyes, peaking around beneath Chase, and JJ's bowler hat and eyes beneath Marvin's. The trio had noticed the pulsing and shifting red glow the night before but none had been able to work up the courage to risk knocking. Here again they gathered to bicker amongst themselves over who should be the one to approach, JJ making the valid point with his signing that after knocking, how was he to answer Anti's inevitable question of 'Who is it?' Marvin and JJ then turned the tables on Chase and pulled out the puppy eyes, filling the father of two's Responsible Dad guilt-meter easily. Finally he threw his hands up and closed his eyes, nodding curtly, mouthing "Fine."
Not one to work well with an audience, Chase shooed the other egos away, insisting not to begin until they were out of sight. Once they'd retreated back to the living room, Chase cautiously made his way to the final door, his mouth dry. He stood outside the door, arm raised and fist balled to knock, but remained a statue. He didn't necessarily FEAR Anti but when the living virus shut himself away, it was usually because it was in the best interest of the other egos. Anti had not long been living with the other egos, and was still very new to the corporeal plane, it seemed to his brothers that his connection here was unstable. Chase could hear static hissing loudly on the other side of the door, almost drowning out the sound of his pulse thundering in his ear. Just as he thought to leave and come back later with some liquid courage, a shivering sob broke the spell that held fast his hand. Chase knocked, instinctively saying, "Hey buddy, is everything okay in there?"
The static ceased immediately and there was only silence. Chase felt his heart rate jump and he grabbed the door handle, "Anti are you alright?" He turned the brushed nickel handle and swung the door in without a second thought. The room had gone dark, the red light gone, but the light from the hall illuminated enough for Chase to spot the room's occupant. Anti was sitting on the floor, legs splayed in his ripped skinny jeans, hands clutching his hair, head hung low. His shoulder shook with restrained sobs and Chase dropped to his knees at his side quickly, hesitating before carefully laying a hand on Anti's shoulder. He noticed how the surface of Anti's skin felt like it was humming, after a few deep breaths, Anti finally stop shaking. He sniffled loudly, wiping his face on the front of his shirt. Chase couldn't help but smile at the child-like behavior Anti exhibited since joining the real world.
"You don't have to talk about it right now, but I was gonna ask if you wanted to come chill with me in my room for a bit? Maybe let your room clear out the funk in it that's got you down." Chase was much braver than he expected himself to be. Something about Anti sitting in a corner, knees now pulled up to his chest as he continued to sniffle, brought out the best in the estranged father. Anti looked up at him with his eyebrows knitted together in confusion. Chase just smiled and waited. "Yeah...sure." Anti replied quietly, the electronic failure of his voice the ego's equivalent of breaking. Chase stood and offered him a hand, pulling him to his feet when it was accepted. He draped an arm around Anti's shoulders and steered him down the hall to Chase's room.
Chase's bedroom was much nicer than Anti had anticipated. Rather than a dirty dorm-room like bedroom, Chase had a very modern lounge style to his space. An unmade bed sat in the corner by the door, but across from the entrance sat a sleek arm chair and love seat, a small end table between them, facing a small flat screen tv on the wall. Closet door slightly ajar, Anti did notice and overpiled laundry basket, at least one sign that someone spent any time in here. On the wall above Chase's bed was the only true impression of his personality. Pictures of his kids and ex-wife were pinned, taped, framed and hung over the headboard, a few Nerf guns hanging on the wall the side of the bed was pushed against. Chase gestured for Anti to move into the room, Anti deciding to sit on the foot of his bed, Chase sitting against the headboard.
Without any new coercion, Anti spoke finally, "I don't like feeling things. Everything feels awful. So much pain, and regret, I hate this." His tone was so devoid of it's usual fire. Chase nodded at him, "That's a big part of life, dude, I hate to tell you." Chase said, realizing as he did how cynical he sounded, he added, "But that's how we learn, it's how we all grow and get better." Anti snorted derisively, still coated in residual disgust for humans, despite now being mostly entirely human himself, but having retained his ego abilities. "I know you don't wanna be some sappy loser, but being okay doesn't mean being weak. You gotta shrug off the chip you got on your shoulder, man." Chase persisted. "It's not like that." Anti said abruptly. Chase turned his head and listened, celebrating his small victory internally. "I can't turn my brain off, now that I can feel. I feel everything. It's constant, unending, maddening." Anti shook his head and leaned forward to lean his elbows on his crossed legs.
Turning his words over in his head, Chase decided to try to help in the only way he really knew how. He slipped off his bed and strode over to dig through his closet. Eventually he pulled out a small, sterling silver jewelry box with two cursive letters engraved on the top, and returned to the bed. Anti raised an eyebrow at him. "I got this for Stacy for our anniversary. She gave it back when she left me." Chase explained with a sad smile before opening it and pulling out a plastic bag and shiny glass piece. "I have no idea how this will affect you, you're a wild card for sure, but if it helps me with my tragic shit maybe it can help you." Chase continued as he set a dvd case on his lap and carefully removed a small green bundle of sticky, fragrant herb. He shredded it with his fingers and swept it into a pile with his little finger before putting the bag back into the jewelry box and set it on his nightstand, hidden behind his bedroom door when they'd entered. With a moment's thought, Chase leaned across the nightstand and pushed the door shut, not wanting to have the discussion about his habit with his brothers yet.
After carefully packing the small pile into the larger end of the glass pipe, Chase pulled a Zippo out of his jeans pocket and looked at Anti to gesture the manner in which one operates the piece. Touching the tip of the flame to one side of the weed, Chase took an experienced draw and held the breath for a few seconds. He passed the pipe to Anti and withheld the lighter until he exhaled, "Don't inhale very hard, the first few times always makes you cough a lot. Just inhale gently and hold it for a few seconds." Anti nodded and accepted the lighter, repeating Chase's movements specifically and following his instructions. The smoke burned his throat the whole way down, lungs catching flame as they filled with the unfamiliar substance. He held back as long as he could before expelling the smoke and coughing harshly, green and black eyes watering. Chase grabbed a bottle of water off his nightstand and offered it, Anti accepting it and guzzling half of it quickly. Chase hit the pipe again, forcing his eyes away from the scar on the other ego's throat, Anti sat back against the wall and felt his body become heavy stone. His mind slowed down and he became acutely aware of his self and surroundings.
The sensation was strange but not unpleasant, he turned and looked at Chase who asked, "Are you doing alright?" As he set the pipe on his nightstand. Anti nodded slowly, "I thought you had a drinking problem." He said coarsely. Chase took his abrasiveness with a grain of salt, "I did. I stopped, but I was uh, having a lot nightmares.." He cleared his throat after accidentally making eye contact with Anti, "So I hit up my old buddy Chad and he got me this so I can sleep better. I try not to rely too much on it, but for nights when it gets bad and I start thinking about Jack's whiskey, it helps." Chase's eyes stared out of focus, his mind carefully shunting away the unfortunately recent memories of Anti's emotional torture. Anti appeared nonplussed by the confession. "I can cause nightmares. I don't know if I can stop them." Anti looked at Chase, "But I will try to help you."