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“You shouldn’t be here, Keith.”
The truth in Lotor’s words is irrelevant, they still cut through Keith’s aching soul and make this encounter harder than it already has to be. The less than welcoming reception he receives nearly overshadows the small glimmer of happiness he feels in seeing Lotor after so long and hearing his voice for the first time in what seems like forever, but he’s come too far to let himself be discouraged.
“I had to see you,” Keith replies, getting right to the point. His response doesn’t quite convey how much he’s longed for this moment, nor does it express how his heart drops to the floor upon finding Lotor here, locked behind bars like a criminal until he’s eventually hauled off to another fight in the arena.
Whomever the foe, Lotor’s victory is already assured. No one believes that more than Keith—his unwavering faith takes root within his heart and blossoms throughout his chest, extending out through his fingers and down to his toes, but no amount of trust can squash the hideous notion that all it takes is one slip up, or someone getting lucky enough to catch Lotor in a rare moment of vulnerability and take advantage—
He can’t bring himself to finish that thought.
Lotor breathes in through his nose, but otherwise doesn't respond. Keith knows that look, the one that makes him look as if he's a million light-years away, like he can't see him, nor recall he's standing right in front of him. Keith never knows where exactly Lotor goes when he gets like this, but he can't shake the feeling that one day he won't come back.
“Say something.” Keith hates how weak he sounds, but he can't stand this kind of demeanor—cold, distant, and on the verge of shutting him out. Not knowing what else to do, he reaches out for Lotor, his hand slipping past the cell bars, but fall a few inches short of touching him. “Please.”
Somehow, his plea is enough to garner Lotor's attention where he needs it—back on him.
“I'm glad you came,” Lotor admits with a heavy sigh, his eyes softening as he finally reaches out to take Keith's hand, lacing their fingers together. “I've missed you so much.”
Keith can't even begin to explain how much it means to hear Lotor say that. He clings to that small sentiment and keeps it near and dear to his heart, if only because it’s the best he’ll get for now.
“No,” Keith answers his own thought out loud before pulling away in a panic. He's unsure of when the guards will be back to try and take Lotor away, but it's better for them both if they're long gone by the time anyone comes looking.
“I'm going to get you out of here.” Keith hardly has a chance to think anything through before he lets go of Lotor’s hand and begins scanning the cell's perimeter, dead set on finding the lock or some other way of breaking in. Somewhere in the midst of his rush, the notion of setting off an alarm of some sort crosses his mind, but he's quick to shove the concern away.
“No,” Lotor shakes his head; Keith fails to notice the dejected way in which his hand falls back to his side. “I have another plan.”
Keith is so far involved in formulating an escape route that he can't even begin to process anything to the contrary. “Fill me in later. First, let's-”
“Keith.” A calm note that's a little too eerie for Keith's liking forces him to stop and listen.
“My place is here.” The smile Lotor wears nearly destroys him. The usual air of confidence Lotor normally sports doesn't quite reach his eyes, leaving him with an acute sense of despair Keith doesn't want to believe in.
“At least for now,” Lotor is quick to add, as if he means the sentiment as damage control--a half-hearted attempt Keith rejects outright.
“What? No!” Unbridled panic goes straight to his core and nearly throws his entire objective out of line. Keith can’t even begin to fathom anything less than setting Lotor free, much less accept it. “I won’t leave you here!”
“Keith, listen.” The strong, authoritative note in Lotor's voice banishes every trace of anxiety weighing on Keith's soul and makes him feel safe and secure, like everything's going to be okay, and that Lotor knows exactly what he's doing. Keith won’t ever be fully onboard with a plan that doesn’t involve Lotor walking out of here with him in the next few minutes, but at least now Lotor has his attention.
“I will be let out of here on ‘good’ terms with the Empire in due time. We don’t have the power to make ourselves viable enemies of Empire yet,” Lotor explains, and while Keith is still very much against this strategy, he knows Lotor wouldn't make this call if they had any other choice.
But Keith won't stand by while Lotor maintains his current position as an exiled prince, a prisoner, and a gladiator. There's always something he can do, and Lotor always has another means of accomplishing their goals. Now, with everyone's attention on Lotor, Keith can slip by and carry out those plans—whatever those may be.
“What do you need me to do?” Keith asks with a heavy sigh, all but resigning himself to Lotor's will. He has half a mind to remind Lotor of how lucky he is—Lotor's princely status be damned, Keith would never give his loyalty to just anyone—however, Keith holds his tongue, if only because it seems cruel to claim anyone behind bars is fortunate in any capacity.
“You remember the legend of Voltron, don’t you?” Lotor's tone is lighter than before, as if his question stems from curiosity, rather than a lead-in to what he's about to ask of Keith.
“What about it?” Keith lifts an inquisitive brow, uncertain of where Lotor might be going with this.
A self-satisfied smirk—one Keith can’t help but take solace in—plays upon Lotor’s lips. “It’s real, and I’ve managed to locate one of the lions that comprises Voltron.”
Lotor doesn't need to elaborate further, Keith knows what his next mission is.
“Where?”
“Earth,” Lotor replies without any preamble.
In spite of his best efforts to remain calm, that actually gives him pause. Of all the possible things Lotor could have asked of him without receiving a bat of an eye in response, this isn’t one of them. Keith left his home planet without looking back a long time ago, and until this very second, he’s never considered going back.
“Are you sure?” Keith asks when he realizes he has yet to give Lotor a response.
“Positive.”
Keith finds himself grimacing, despite his efforts to keep his feelings under wraps.
The confidence in Lotor’s eyes dims, and Keith is completely helpless as he watches the light in be replaced with a chilling level of concern that's all for him.
“Is this too much?”
“No,” Keith shakes his head in the negative, willing himself to let go of any reservations he has. He realizes then, that it’s not that he has any real issue in returning—he’s long since broken the last bit of attachment he'd held for Earth—so much as he dreads being far away from Lotor. “No, I can handle this.”
“You are the only one I can ask,” Lotor further explains, not that he needs to. Keith understands perfectly; even without a human exterior, Lotor wouldn't entrust his findings to anyone else. This discussion stays here, trapped in a cell along with the man who holds his heart.
Every cell in his body begs him to fight, to tell Lotor exactly what he thinks of his plan and go about things in his own way. In fact, if the circumstances were different he's certain Lotor would indulge him, more than indulge, really. Contrary to how it looks, Lotor values his opinions, he listens to him and takes his input into account at every turn. This exchange here is the exception, not the rule, and if Lotor feels the need to do this now, then Keith knows better than to question him.
“So,” Keith takes a deep breath, calming his growing nerves, “you want me to retrieve the lion, and then what?”
Just as he expects, Lotor has an answer for that too. “I suspect that knowing the whereabouts of one lion will lead you to the others. I trust you to put a team together—we need Voltron on our side.”
“No one else knows about this?”
“Not a soul.” Lotor looks at him for a short while, there's a certain glint in his eye, one that only exists when he's reading him, deciphering his expressions and attempting to read his every thought. Whether or not Lotor has any success, he doesn't know, but he can't bring himself to mind. He knows Lotor, he trusts him—Lotor wouldn't even consider this if Keith hadn't given him a reason to do so first.
“You don't have to do this.” The regret lacing Lotor's voice leaves a weight on a chest that threatens to drag him to the deepest depths of Earth's oceans, but Keith knows he's not the one drowning.
“I'll get it done,” Keith shakes his head, clearing his mind and willing himself to focus on the matter at hand, "but I'm still not happy about this.” He's referring of course, to leaving Lotor alone here.
“I don't expect you to be.” Without saying anything else, Lotor reaches past the bars and out to him, a gesture Keith doesn't think twice about reciprocating.
His fingertips just barely graze the palm of Lotor's before a loud, ear-shattering clash startles him to the point of pulling away on sheer instinct—harsh footsteps following the disturbance signals they're not alone, and more importantly, their time here is up.
“You need to go.” When his feet refuse to move, Lotor steps forward, his outstretched hand lands squarely on his chest and pushes him away, causing him to stumble backward a few steps; by some miracle, he manages to catch himself from falling on the ground.
“Now,” Lotor reiterates, his voice low and commanding.
Keith has to fight the urge to resist everything Lotor asks of him and stay. He wants a brawl more than anything else, the desire to take down anyone who dares stand between him and Lotor's freedom overwhelms and tries to possess him, but the pleading look in Lotor's gaze keeps his more primal impulses at bay.
Now that his feet don't feel like they've been frozen to the ground, Keith finally listens to Lotor. If he leaves now he can still make it out scot-free, even if it's the last thing he wants.
“I'll find you,” is all he can think to say as he backs away towards the exit from whence he came.
“Not if I find you first.” Keith commits the small, yet affectionate smile Lotor offers him to memory before turning away and setting out to complete the task Lotor’s given him. If Lotor believes their success depends on Voltron, then he does too, that’s all there is to it.
It’s not until he’s forced into becoming the leader of Voltron that he meets Lotor again.
Keith nearly loses it when he hears Lotor’s strong, assertive voice after what feels like an eternity as he introduces himself to the Paladins of Voltron as Emperor Pro Tem of the Galra Empire. With Shiro’s disappearance, the team quickly learns Zarkon’s been put out of commission as well, which Keith realizes is the moment Lotor’s been waiting for—these are the ‘good terms’ which grant Lotor his freedom in return for serving the Empire in his father’s stead.
Voltron’s first encounter with Lotor is chaotic at its best, and a much needed wake up call at its worst. He knows Lotor has no choice but to keep up with the appearance of staying true to the Empire and proving himself a worthy successor to his father’s throne, so he’s not at all surprised when Lotor pulls out all the stops in showing Voltron exactly what he’s capable of. Lotor’s apparent lack of mercy highlights the fatal flaws in the team, he shows them weaknesses that wouldn’t exist under Shiro’s lead and sheds light upon a stark reality which burrows under Keith’s skin and becomes one with his soul—he’s not cut out to lead Voltron, even if the Black Lion thinks otherwise.
It’s then Keith reminds himself of where his loyalties lie. He may not be able to see them, but Lotor’s methods always serve a purpose, of that he has no doubt. More importantly, Lotor’s free, and he’s seen Keith’s accomplishments in finding the Blue Lion on Earth and initiating the chain of events that led to Voltron’s revival. Leader of Voltron or not, he needs to see Lotor, without his fellow paladins or generals around. Just the two of them, as it’s meant to be.
And so Keith follows Lotor to some remote planet, far away from the eyes of anyone who wouldn't understand, using a tracking signal with a device Keith's certain Lotor's neglected to get rid of for his benefit. Lotor has his own ways of showing affection, and risking the relationships he's formed with his other generals just to see Keith is one of the many ways he proves it.
“Found you.” Lotor flashes him a fanged smile the second his eyes fall upon him. Keith on the other hand, tries to suppress a hitch in his breathing when Lotor's snow-white hair cascades down his back after he removes his helmet.
“So you’re the Paladin who’s been giving me so much trouble,” he adds with a teasing lilt in his voice, obviously referring to his leading role as the Black Lion's paladin.
“Not by choice,” Keith interjects, just to make sure there’s no misunderstanding. “I’m not the leader Voltron needs or deserves, and you saw for yourself how much of a mess the team is.”
Lotor gives him a curt nod, but the light glimmering in his sapphire eyes tells him that while Lotor's heard him, he doesn't agree. “You all are learning,” he says, simultaneously acknowledging both the team's strife and progress, “and rather quickly I might add.”
The knowing smile playing upon his lips tells Keith everything he needs to hear without Lotor having to say a word. It hadn't been obvious at the time, but Keith knows Lotor wouldn't toy with him or his team like he appeared to be, he should have seen the purpose behind Lotor's actions, and he should have known that even now, while they pretend to oppose each other, Lotor still has his best interests at heart.
“What you did on Thayserix,” Keith finds himself putting Lotor's intentions into words, if only to make sure he's got the entire picture, “you were helping us.”
“I did what I could without giving myself away.” Again, Lotor eludes to the lack of trust he has in anyone else, but Keith doesn’t ask. “I do not enjoy watching you struggle.”
“You gave us what we needed to form Voltron.” Keith knows he’s repeating himself, but he’s still trying to process the events that transpired on Thayserix from a different angle.
“I knew you could do it, Keith,” Lotor replies, his voice full of pride and his lips curled into a smile to match.
“Where do we go from here?” Keith asks, changing the subject on sheer reflex. He never lets himself get hung up with or relish in Lotor’s praise, not when he never feels like he’s really earned it.
“I still have inside work to take care of before we can join forces.” His answer cuts straight to the point and tells Keith what he really wants to know.
Keith doesn’t bother to inquire further, he already knows Lotor won’t go into detail--not for lack of trust, but because he doesn’t want for Keith to worry about him. Lotor's intentions fail, of course, Keith is an endless pit of anxiety when it comes to Lotor and being away from him, where he can't be by Lotor's side and protect him like he should.
As convoluted as their situation is already, it only gets more complicated with the more recent developments in Keith's life. Keith knows exactly what he needs to do from this point onward, at least until he hears from Lotor again, but with their plans set into motion and on track, Keith’s uncertain whether his current role is all that necessary anymore, or rather, he's not sure it will be for much longer.
“What if I left Voltron?” Keith wonders out loud, as if he’s giving hypothetical or floating an idea by Lotor, rather than a real possibility.
Lotor blinks, tilting his head to the side as he ponders Keith’s query, but otherwise remains silent until asking: “Where else would you go?”
“To the Blade of Marmora.”
Lotor remains silent for the longest time, his pensive, yet empathetic gaze tells Keith the exact level of consideration Lotor puts into his proposal, which Keith can’t help but think is a lot more than he deserves.
“How enamored with this idea are you?” From his tone of voice, it’s impossible to decipher whether he’s reached a conclusion or not.
“I won’t leave Voltron without a leader or five paladins,” Keith explains, making it clear he’s not asking to leave while he’s still needed, “but if the opportunity ever arises, I want to know how you’d feel if I took it.”
“Have you traced your parents to them?” As always, Lotor is quick to get to the heart of the matter, and at this point, Keith isn’t at all surprised. Even now, Lotor knows him better than he knows himself.
“My mother, I think,” he admits, “I’m not sure. All I know is that they have answers, and might be able to help me figure out who I really am.”
His answer barely falls from his lips before the hesitant light in Lotor’s eyes fades away, only to be replaced with a certain flame that only makes itself known when Lotor’s made up his mind. “Then you need to take it.”
“Really?” It’s not that Keith doesn’t believe Lotor, but it seems a little too easy—he’s not accustomed to asking for personal favors or acting in his own interests, especially not in a way that has almost nothing to do with their shared objectives.
“Absolutely.” The resolute tone that holds nothing but the utmost sincerity leaves Keith at a loss for words. There’s nothing he could possibly say or do that could ever come close to expressing just how thankful he is to have Lotor’s support. He hardly needs to explain himself and Lotor already knows and understands him, which means more to him than Keith can ever say.
“I can’t th-”
“Don’t.” Lotor cuts him off with the gentle press of two fingers against his lips. “I want this for you.” Lotor makes it sound as if he’s allowing Keith to do this on a mere whim, but Keith knows better—Lotor doesn’t want his gratitude, he wants to see him happy.
“I will come back to you, no matter what happens.” His voice is barely above a whisper as he succeeds in landing a soft kiss to Lotor’s fingertips just before Lotor pulls away.
“I know.” The unwavering confidence in Lotor’s voice goes straight to his core, renews his faith in their situation, and somehow, he knows everything’s going to turn out as planned.
And then there are times Keith can’t help but think Lotor gives him too much control, or more specifically, instances, where Keith knows Lotor wouldn't find himself in certain inescapable predicaments, had Keith been around like he should have been all along.
This would never have happened if he’d been there, he would have stopped his fellow generals from hurting Lotor, he wouldn’t have let Lotor's only viable option be to take refuge in Voltron; they were always meant to come together, but not like this, not in a way that leaves Lotor in a position of complete powerlessness.
Shortly after the battle of Naxzela, Keith learns of Lotor's whereabouts, the exact details of how he’d willingly given himself over Voltron and let himself be confined to a cell, and it’s only by some miracle he manages to stop himself from storming off in the middle of the conversation and wait until a more opportune moment, when he can approach Lotor without being followed or questioned.
“What are you doing here, Keith?” is Lotor’s only form of greeting once he makes it down to the level he’s being kept at. Keith doesn't often have the element of surprise when it comes to finding Lotor, but he's beginning to learn that catching Lotor off guard isn’t a good thing, especially if he continues to find Lotor in situations like these.
“That’s my question,” Keith shoots right back—he’s already been told the story from everyone else's perspective, now it's Lotor's turn.
The grin Keith receives is half-hearted at best. “I thought it time we be on the same side again.
“And that’s how you wound up in a cell?” he inquires, completely ignoring Lotor’s attempt at making light of the circumstance. There’s nothing humorous about being locked up, and Keith isn't about to pretend like everything's good and dandy. “Again?”
That cuts Lotor deeper than Keith ever meant to go—anguish coupled with an obvious sense of guilt flicker in Lotor’s solemn gaze as he looks away from him and towards the ground, clearly refusing to look at him.
With a sigh, Keith casts his gaze to the floor in turn. A hint of remorse bubbles up from the bottom of Keith’s stomach, but he quells the sensation before it has the chance to evolve and persuade him to act upon it—he hadn’t meant to hurt Lotor, but he’s not apologetic. One way or another, Lotor needs to realize he can’t keep doing this.
“I can’t help you if you won’t tell me what’s going on,” Keith tries again, his voice quieter and gentler than before.
“And I can’t give you an answer I don’t know myself.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“My fate is not mine to control.” the pain lacing his voice tears through the glass of Lotor’s cell and pierces Keith’s rapidly beating heart. And just like that, Keith finds himself thrown into a whirlwind of panic as a cruel sense of Deja Vu washes over him, compelling him to scramble for a way out. He's not foolish enough to think he has access to the keypad, but there’s another way—there has to be.
“Keith, stop.”
“No!” Keith doesn't mean to yell, but Lotor's not listening to him, and he's not sure how else to make himself heard. “I’m done listening, I’m not going to stand by and watch you suffer.”
“I wouldn’t say I’m suffering,” Lotor offers, as if to suggest incarceration isn’t all that bad. Keith supposes it may seem that way compared to imprisonment within the Galra Empire, but the thought doesn't make seeing Lotor like this any easier.
Keith suspects that was meant to make him feel better, but this time, Lotor's calm voice does nothing to soothe him, in fact, it serves the opposite effect in enraging him further.
“Argh!” The groan of sheer frustration he lets out doesn’t come anywhere close to conveying how he really feels. His limbs act on their own accord as he steps forward, slamming his clenched fist against the cell, failing to leave a scratch or rattle the thick barrier keeping him from Lotor's tender embrace. Keith doesn’t know whether to count himself lucky after the glass refuses to break under his reckless assault against it, not when deep down there's a twisted part of himself that wouldn't think twice about trading a bloodied hand covered in broken glass for Lotor's freedom.
“Things will work out.” Even now, Lotor still sounds so sure of himself, leaving Keith to wonder how he manages to stay so positive.
“You don’t know that for sure.” He hates to dampen the unrealistic sense of optimism Lotor seems to possess, but he's not in the mood to look on the bright side when the world around him looks so bleak.
“I can feel it.” Lotor replies as he reaches out to him, his fingertips brush over glass instead of his cheek, leaving Keith to settle for the gesture. “We’re so close. If I can earn your fellow paladins’ trust--”
“I am not a paladin,” Keith interrupts, but doesn't bother to elaborate—not only has Lotor seen everyone, but he’s fully clad in his Blade armor.
“Nevertheless,” Lotor gives a brief nod off understanding, but otherwise carries on, “our plans rely on an alliance between us and Voltron—of course, the coalition Voltron has already forged with the Blade only helps.”
“I don’t like this.” No matter how hard he tries, Keith can't suppress the small pout that forms upon his lips.
“A common theme,” Lotor notes, the playful smile that spreads across his face nearly has Keith rolling his eyes.
“How many more phases end with you in captivity?” It's a question he's not sure he wants an answer to, but maybe next time won't be so devastating if he knows in advance.
“I never planned to be locked up at any point.” The note of disappointment tainting Lotor’s voice makes it abundantly clear just how hard it is for him to admit the flaws in his strategy. “I’m sorry I’ve failed you.”
“You could never.” The sentiment makes itself heard before Keith has time to process what he’s saying, but he means every word of it. Ever so slowly, the rage that holds his heart in a vice grip begins to ebb away and releases the tension in his body, allowing him to unclench his fist and flatten his hand over the impenetrable slab of glass that keeps him from embracing Lotor. “I just hate seeing you like this.”
An all too familiar sense of helplessness sinks its merciless talons into Keith’s flesh and threatens to unravel the fragile composure he works so hard to maintain, but even with one of the darkest moments in his life on the verge of repeating himself, Keith manages a small grin.
“Make a foolproof plan that ends up with you in my arms.” It’s a demand he’s certain Lotor would comply with instantly if he could.
That earns him a smile, the upward curl of the corners or Lotor’s mouth is subtle at best, but it’s there, it’s genuine, and it’s just enough to give Keith something to hold onto. “That was always the goal.” Lotor reaches out to him once more, placing his hand flat on the glass directly across from Keith’s. “Everything I’ve ever done will be for naught if I can’t have you in the end.”
That’s a logic Keith can’t argue with. Knowing Lotor hasn’t forgotten about him—that he still wants him—gives Keith the strength to carry on and let Lotor’s plans unfold to completion.
They’ll be together soon enough, Keith only needs to hold on a bit longer.
In hindsight, Keith should have known Lotor would find his way to the Kral Zera before he and his fellow Blade members planned to cover the battleground with explosives. The lack of communication results in more than a grave miscalculation on his part, but by the time he learns that he’s put both Lotor and Shiro’s lives at stake, it’s too late. It doesn’t matter how hard he tries, the explosion is happening, and now all he can do is keep Lotor out of harm’s way.
But even damage control becomes a lofty task, and with Lotor engaged in battle with Sendak, he’s in the direct line of fire, leaving Keith with no other option but to literally throw himself into Lotor and send them both crashing down the steps ascending to the Kral Zera without a moment to spare.
The havoc surrounding the battleground only gets worse with each passing tick—especially when the fight leaves the terrain and takes to the sky, overwhelming Shiro's protection and inevitably bringing the rest of Voltron into the fight.
“This is exactly what I wanted to avoid. I knew they would all turn on each other,” he hears Lotor remark during the chaos, but he’s not sure if Lotor’s speaking to him or to himself, referring to another conversation he wasn’t present for.
After a brief confrontation with another Galra soldier competing for the throne (one he came out of unscathed thanks to Axca’s intervention)the entire scene seems to devolve in front of his eyes. With Voltron on their side, the rivaling factions all retreat one by one, leaving Lotor’s path to the Kral Zera clear and unhindered. Keith diligently watches Lotor ascend the steps from his spot off to the side on the staircase, ready to attack should anyone try to come between Lotor and his destiny. When no one intervenes, the tension he possesses slowly begins to drain away from his body and is quickly replaced with an impatience and pure astonishment.
With the torch in hand, Lotor sets the Kral Zera aflame, signaling his victory and solidifying his claim to the throne once and for all.
That's when Keith loses it—he’s done holding back, regardless of anything Lotor might have to say. With Lotor in charge, he can’t think of a single reason to hide any longer. Breaking into a sprint, Keith climbs the stairs and again lunges himself at Lotor, only this time Lotor catches him, allowing Keith to wrap his arms around his neck while his legs hook themselves around Lotor’s waist.
Lotor looks like he’s about to speak, but whatever he has to say can wait—Keith doesn’t give him a chance before capturing Lotor’s lips in an uncoordinated, yet powerful kiss. Keith’s waited far too long for this, and now he makes no attempt at shielding his feelings as his lips move in perfect synchrony with Lotor’s, giving him everything he has to offer.
“You found me.” Lotor’s voice comes out in a whisper once their kiss is broken, like he’s still in awe over what he’s accomplished, which only becomes more apparent with the way he clings to Keith, as if he’s the only thing keeping Lotor bound to reality.
“I’ve found you,” Keith agrees, instinctively tightening the death grip he already has on Lotor. As illogical as it sounds, he can’t rid himself of the notion Lotor might slip away if he doesn't hold on with everything he has. “I won’t lose you again.”
“I’m counting on that,” Lotor replies with a smile, his eyes shining with adoration as he returns Keith's kiss in full, using his lips to confirm what Keith already knows in his heart.
Mission accomplished.