Work Text:
“Hey babe, what’s for dinner?” Jisoo asks, letting the door slam shut. She kicks off her shoes and drops her purse on the couch, flopping on it right after.
Seungcheol flips a page in her book, not even looking up. “I don’t know, what did you get?”
“You’re a terrible roommate,” Jisoo replies, voice even and eyes full of an Oscar worthy amount of hurt. It’s lost on Seungcheol, though, because she’s still glued to her book.
“I’m your roommate,” Seungcheol says absently, “not your mom.”
“You could be my wife!” Jisoo cries, kicking Seungcheol’s knee.
That finally makes Seungcheol look up, even if for half a second. “That would require me dating you first, and last time I checked that’s not the case.”
“Whatever,” Jisoo huffs, taking her phone out. She doesn’t feel like cooking at all which means takeout again. Her mom would judge her so much if she knew.
*
Here’s the thing: Jihoon and Junhui might be Jisoo’s closest friends but if they weren’t around that title would most definitely belong to Seungcheol.
They met because they’d been placed together as roommates in their second year of university, bonded over awkward first year experiences and just sort of… clicked. When they graduated it just seemed logical to keep living together. Neither of them could afford living on her own and they’d been more than used to each other already.
At this point Jisoo finds it hard to imagine life with a roommate other than Seungcheol.
It’s a little weird - even if they know and like each other’s friends, the six years spent living together didn’t magically merge their respective friend groups. Junhui is convinced that’s the exact reason why they can still stand each other after all this time – but Jisoo isn’t convinced. Her and Seungcheol – they just, well – they click.
It’s gotten to a point where they barely need to communicate to know what the other needs, which is why when Seungcheol slams the door shut one afternoon, a storm in her eyes, Jisoo knows they’re getting drunk tonight.
*
“You don’t fit in the team dynamic, I’m sorry,” Seungcheol says, in a terrible interpretation of her now ex boss.
It could be very good for all Jisoo knows - she’s never seen the man, after all. By the amount of empty bottles on their coffee table, however, she’s inclined to be doubtful.
Whatever the truth is, Jisoo’s knocks her bottle against Seungcheol’s sympathetically. “That’s such a shitty excuse. Their “team dynamic” must be even shittier if you of all people don’t fit in it.”
“They’re actually really nice to one another. Everyone except me,” Seungcheol sighs. She swirls what’s left in her bottle and downs it. “I’m pretty sure it’s all because I didn’t stay silent when that manager kept treating us like shit but at the same time – none of them stood up for me.”
“Their loss.” Jisoo states, taking the empty bottle out of Seungcheol’s hands and replacing it with a full one. “You did the right thing and it’s on them that they refused to acknowledge it. Look on the bright side,” she continues, “now you can find a new and better job that might actually treat you the way you deserve. Understood?”
“Understood,” Seungcheol laughs.
It sounds a little strained, a little fake so Jisoo does the only thing she can think of in her alcohol-addled state - pokes Seungcheol’s cheeks until she finally smiles.
It’s still not an entirely real smile, so Jisoo leaves her half empty bottle on the table and climbs into Seungcheol’s lap, a hand on each of her shoulders. “Okay,” she says seriously. “What do we do to distract you from this bullshit?”
“I can think of a few things,” Seungcheol says, lifting her eyebrows, eyes trailing slowly from Jisoo’s chest up to her face.
It’s a running gag – you can only spend so much time being physically and emotionally close to someone before the sex jokes start. It has never, ever led to anything, however.
Well. Not until now.
Jisoo shrugs, locks her hand behind Seungcheol’s neck and dives for her mouth.
If she were in her right mind, Jisoo would probably find it alarming how easily Seungcheol’s palms slide down her back to cup her ass and pull her closer – but neither of them are in their right mind.
Jisoo has an absent thought of hey, who knew Seungcheol’s boobs feel so nice.
It doesn’t take long before she stops thinking altogether.
*
Weirdly enough, the thing that strikes Jisoo as odd when she wakes up the next day isn’t that she’s naked. It isn’t that she’s naked on top of Seungcheol , who’s also naked either. It’s that they’ve stayed on the couch, in the living room when they both have perfectly good rooms with beds much more comfortable than their shitty old couch.
Jisoo sighs, throws a blanket over Seungcheol and goes to take a shower.
By the time she’s finished, now clean, dressed and ready to face her day, Seungcheol has gotten up as well. She’s pouring milk into a bowl of cereal – Jisoo’s somewhat disappointed to notice she’s had time to throw some clothes on too. Not that the loose tank top she’s in covers a lot – but still.
“Hey,” Jisoo greets. Normally, she’d wrap her arms around Seungcheol’s waist, maybe nuzzle into her neck. Today, she just settles for poking her side. She can feel Seungcheol tense for a second, but it’s gone so quickly Jisoo’s sure she imagined it. “Did you make some for me too?”
“I’m not your mom,” Seungcheol grumbles but pulls out a new bowl anyway.
“No,” Jisoo says, waggling her eyebrows, “you’re definitely not my mom.”
Seungcheol sputters, then shoves the bowl, along with the cereal box, towards Jisoo. Her cheeks are on fire. “Fuck you.”
“Yeaaaaah,” Jisoo drawls, grinning.
Seungcheol flips her off, then takes her cereal to her room.
*
“So when’s Junhui coming?” Jisoo asks, stirring the whipped cream into her coffee.
Jihoon shrugs. “He’s working today, so in about an hour or so?”
Jisoo nods, then lets her spoon clatter onto the table with a sigh. Jihoon quietly takes a napkin to clean the little puddle of coffee that forms.
Jisoo wonders if maybe it would be better to talk about this to Jihoon only – they’re both girls, right? Jihoon will probably know what to do. Jisoo sighs again. After Seungcheol had breakfast in her room this morning she never really left it – except to go out, barely even acknowledging Jisoo with a hurried bye.
“Okay, tell me what’s wrong.” Jihoon demands, pulling Jisoo out of her thoughts. She has that stern look that reminds Jisoo of her mom sometimes. It’s as comforting as it is annoying.
“I -” she starts, then realizes she’s not really sure how to go on. “Nothing’s wrong, not really.”
Jihoon gives her an unimpressed glare. “You’ve been sighing non-stop since we came here.”
“I -” Jisoo tries again. Jihoon taps her fingers on the glass table. It sounds strangely threatening. Jisoo decides to just get it over with. “Have you ever just… spontaneously wanted to eat out your best friend?”
Jihoon, who was just about to take a bite of her cake, freezes. Her fork clatters to the table, leaving a blob of whipped cream on the glass.
She gathers herself pretty fast, though, and grabs a napkin to clean up the mess. “You…” she coughs, looks anywhere but at Jisoo, “You want to eat out… who?”
Jisoo sighs again. “Seungcheol.” There’s an audible exhale from Jihoon’s side and Jisoo snorts. “Aw baby, of course it wasn’t you. You’re too -” whatever she was about to say gets interrupted by Jihoon’s death glare – it’s almost a physical thing. Jisoo laughs again. “You’re too taken for me. Wonwoo doesn’t strike me as the sharing is caring type.”
“Are we talking about my favorite lesbian?” Junhui announces, dropping his bag on the chair next to Jisoo, making her jump. It’s like he appeared out of thin air – but then again, it’s not like either Jisoo or Jihoon were paying too much attention to their surroundings.
Jihoon flips him off, muttering something that sounds a lot like keep your dirty boy hands away from my girlfriend, before her lips stretch in an evil, evil smile. It might seem sweet to normal people but Jisoo has known her long enough to see right through it.
“Did you know,” Jihoon starts, eyes glued on Jisoo, “that our friend here wants to fuck her roommate?”
Junhui’s head whips towards Jisoo. “Seungcheol? I mean, she’s pretty hot but haven’t you been friends for, like, years?”
“Yeaah,” Jisoo drawls. “About that. I might have… already… uh.”
There’s a loud clatter when Jihoon slams her fists on the table and now they definitely get a few looks. One of the waitresses cautiously eyes their table.
Junhui stares at Jisoo with his mouth open. “You slept with Seungcheol?!” He exclaims, voice full of – awe? “And here I thought today is going to be just a regular workday.”
“I’m not sure I want to be here for the end of this conversation,” Jihoon says evenly, stirring her coffee with so much determination one might think the world would crash and burn if she stops.
Jisoo rolls her eyes. “It’s not like I’m about to start telling you what exactly did we do. Although her boobs are very nice,” she adds.
“We already knew this one,” Junhui says, waving a dismissive hand. “While I do think Seungcheol is very, very hot I’d have to agree with Jihoon on this one, though.”
Jihoon breathes a sigh of relief. Like Jisoo was ever going to tell them anything anyway. Then again…
“So what now,” Jihoon starts, voice finally back to normal. “Are you two dating?”
“What, no,” Jisoo hurries to deny. Are they? Sometimes their friends make fun of them for being platonically married but then again sex doesn’t exactly fall under the “platonic” category. At all. “I mean,” she tries again. “I’d notice if I had some sort of feelings for her, right? We’ve been roommates for what, six years now?”
“It doesn’t have to be feelings,” Junhui shrugs. “You could just be attracted to her physically.”
“But I love her,” Jisoo insists. “She’s basically family by this point.”
Jihoon raises an eyebrow. “Do you usually fuck your family members?”
Jisoo opens her mouth, then closes it. It’s not like she can argue about that. Her feelings for Seungcheol remain a big question mark.
“Let’s put it this way,” Junhui suggests, “would you sleep with her again?”
Jisoo thinks back to this morning, about Seungcheol naked and spread out on the couch. “I think so, yeah.”
“The way I see it,” Jihoon says, raising her palm, “you have two options: one,” she counts off, “you talk to Seungcheol about it. And two,” When the second finger goes down she gives Jisoo a Very Judgmental look, “you pretend nothing happened and move on.”
“It’s obvious what I should choose, isn’t it?” Jisoo says, resigned. She pokes around what’s left of her cake.
Junhui pats her back sympathetically.
*
It’s not that Jisoo wants to choose the pretend-nothing-happened option. It just… happens.
When she comes home from her coffee date with Jihoon and Junhui, Seungcheol is already home and puttering around the kitchen.
Jisoo just watches her for a bit. She didn’t put a lot of meaning into her relationship with Seungcheol when they were in university. Uni life was hectic at best with both of them spreading themselves thin between classes, part time jobs and social life. Now, however, now that they’re both working adults with barely any time to see their friends, let alone family – Jisoo has a sudden, sharp realization. Somewhere along the line Seungcheol’s mere presence has become a synonym of comfort. Sure, she loves both Junhui and Jihoon just as much but at the end of the day, each of them goes home. Here, in the big city, Seungcheol is home.
How is Jisoo supposed to threaten that?
Seungcheol turns around to open the fridge and finally notices Jisoo standing at the door. “Why are you just standing there?”
“I was trying to gauge the level of poisoning we’re about to get if you’ve tried cooking,” Jisoo replies automatically.
Banter is easy. This she can do. They were both drunk anyway, no point in trying to fix what’s not broken, right?
“Go to hell,” Seungcheol grumbles, taking two beers out of the fridge. “And here I thought I’d offer you bonding time with Bleach reruns and that pizza you really like for dinner.”
“Oh, but I love you,” Jisoo says in her sweetest voice, slipping her arms around Seungcheol’s waist.
She doesn’t have to see Seungcheol’s face to know she’s rolling her eyes when she pushes Jisoo away.
No one mentions last night and there are no awkward pauses, worried looks. If Seungcheol’s eyes linger a second too long when Jisoo changes into her sleep shorts, neither of them mentions it. It’s only fair – they did sleep together after all. It happened. Jisoo finds herself staring sometimes too.
It doesn’t have to mean anything.
*
so how did the talk go, Jihoon texts her the next morning.
Jisoo ignores her under the pretense of being incredibly busy with work. Jihoon has the day off so she can’t actually call her out on it.
Or so Jisoo thinks. The second message comes not even five minutes later.
don’t ignore me, it’s not even close to rush hour and we both know it
Jisoo rolls her eyes. Well. She has to tell her eventually.
i may or may not have gone with option 2
This time Jihoon takes a little longer to reply and Jisoo spends the minute imagining the judgement in her eyes. She’s sure it’s there.
when this blows up in ur face i refuse to be the shoulder you cry on
oh, but you will be . Jisoo sighs. It’s fun to be contrary, just because. But really, Jihoon needs to stop being such a pessimist – Jisoo has everything under control.
yes, Jihoon texts back a few minutes later, but i’ll be very grumpy about it.
Jisoo rolls her eyes and turns her phone off. She has work to do anyway.
*
Things have been normal in the week since the incident – but they were almost immediately after it happened, too. Even if the lingering looks somewhat remain. Jisoo almost convinces herself it was all in her head.
Except Seungcheol has taken to wearing these mesh tops now that she doesn’t have to be decent for work and it’s giving Jisoo a headache. Along with an uncomfortable feeling in her gut. Her romantic side wants to compare it to butterflies in her stomach, except they’re a lot lower than her stomach. A lot warmer, too.
But Seungcheol being hot isn’t something new. Jisoo can totally handle it. She’s been doing it for years. Except now she knows that particular bra, the black one with the blue lining, knows how it feels under her fingertips, knows that the lace scratches a little and the clasp is a little old so it gets stuck easily. (Most importantly, she knows how it feels when the clasp finally comes undone.)
To top it all off, now that Seungcheol is unemployed and more or less free all day, she seems to have a lot time on her hands. For shopping, apparently. Somehow she acquires a pair of leather shorts when Jisoo is not looking and that – that she barely survives. They dig into Seungcheol’s thighs a little, as if Jisoo needed more of a reminder of how those feel. (She kind of wants to bite them. Again.)
Jisoo finds herself praying for strength – or mercy every time she comes home from work, knowing Seungcheol is already there. It’s rarely ever granted.
In the end, it’s not Seungcheol’s fancy new clothes that ruin Jisoo’s fragile resolve.
*
The second time it happens she doesn’t even have the alcohol to blame.
*
It’s not often that Jisoo finishes earlier than she’s supposed to but it’s not unheard of, either.
When she opens the door to her apartment she is met with the sight of Seungcheol spread out on the couch, legs up on the armrest with her laptop balanced on her stomach. She’s… naked. She’s not fully naked, the rational part of Jisoo’s brain screams at her. She’s in one of her sleep shirts, which usually come up to her thighs but it’s ridden up right now and from where Jisoo stands, all she sees is legs.
She clears her throat. Seungcheol jumps up, barely managing to save her laptop from toppling over.
“Uh, hi,” she starts. Her cheeks are getting pinker by the second. She carefully places the laptop to the ground next to her and tugs at her shirt – but she’s still sprawled on the couch so it flops right back up.
Jisoo finds it very hard to tear her gaze away from Seungcheol’s legs and up to her actual ey- oh god, no bra in sight. Jisoo wants to die. “Hi,” she tries, busying herself with untying her shoes extra slow. Any other day, she’d just kick them off but now, now she needs the time.
When she turns back Seungcheol is standing up, tugging at her shirt again, glancing at the door to her room every few seconds.
“You’re home early,” she starts, voice a little higher than usual.
“Yeah,” Jisoo replies, trying to look anywhere but at Seungcheol. She’s sure that if she does, she’ll stare again. “There was some sort of an issue with the electricity.”
Seungcheol hums in acknowledgement.
The seconds tick as they stay quiet like this, Jisoo finding newer interesting things about their living room by the seconds and Seungcheol watching… probably her. Jisoo doesn’t have the guts to look up and make sure. Which is ridiculous – since when is she so skittish around Seungcheol, of all people. Dorky, cute, caring Seungcheol who likes to steal Jisoo’s shampoo sometimes because she likes how it smells but never actually buys it for herself.
When Jisoo finally gathers the courage to actually look up at her roommate (she’s proud that her eyes flicker down only a little), Seungcheol is looking down at herself.
“Do you think I should lose weight?” She asks curiously. Her voice carries her usual confidence but Jisoo has known her enough to hear the underlying, very real doubt in it.
She frowns. “No? You’re perfect as you are.”
Seungcheol frowns right back at her. “I’m a whale compared to you. And you keep staring at me. Or staring at anything but me.”
“Oh, baby,” Jisoo breathes, moving closer before she really thinks it over. “That’s not… That’s not why at all.” She pokes Seungcheol’s side, knowing full well it would make her squirm. She laughs when she’s proven right. “You’re soft and I love it.”
Seungcheol huffs and slaps her hand off, which, well. It results in Jisoo’s hand landing very close to Seungcheol’s thigh.
All kinds of alarms go off in Jisoo’s brain. Suddenly all her issues with Seungcheol’s bare thighs are back in full force and this close, her resolve doesn’t stand a chance.
Seungcheol gently wraps her fingers around Jisoo’s wrist and guides it to her hip. “It’s okay, you know. I don’t mind. At all,” she says, voice barely above a whisper.
Jisoo sighs. She drops her head against Seungcheol’s shoulder and her “I know,” is muffled against her shirt.
And finally, finally she allows her free hand to sneak under it.
*
Hooking up with your roommate in broad daylight, sober brings the unfortunate complications of having no excuse or opportunity to sneak out. But Jisoo is creative. She waits until Seungcheol disappears into the bathroom (wrapped in a blanket, like Jisoo didn’t just see everything there could possibly be to see) to get dressed as quickly as she can, grab a few things and… well. Boot it out of there.
There’s an undeniable feeling of wrong when she slips out the front door and it only heightens as she takes the stairs down. Seungcheol’s face flashes through her mind, scrunched up in disappointment, hurt. And worse – resignation. It’s not until she’s out of the building entirely that Jisoo stops to think about it – she’s not even sure where she’s going. It’s too late to go back and she’s too much of a coward to face the consequences of her raging hormones anyway.
Her first thought is, of course, Jihoon. Followed by Junhui right after. But they’re both rather terrifying thoughts – Junhui would probably not judge her but he’d tease her and that’s… not an appealing thought right now. Jihoon, on the other side would most likely not tease or judge – but there will be that knowing look in her eyes. Jisoo can imagine it all too well and it sounds just as appealing as Junhui teasing her.
Before she can talk herself out of it, she dials Wonwoo’s number.
*
Wonwoo is silent when she comes down to unlock the door to her building. She’s silent when she leads Jisoo up the stairs to her apartment, too but Jisoo doesn’t really have the mental space to worry about it.
“So, um. Is everything okay?” Wonwoo says when the door clicks shut after them. Jisoo honestly thought she’d feel trapped, given her current state and Wonwoo’s apartment being a glorified shoebox. There’s something about the small space, though – or maybe it’s Wonwoo’s presence itself? Whatever it is, it works like a soothing balm for Jisoo’s frayed nerves. Wonwoo, on the other hand, looks like she has no idea what to do with herself.
“It’s okay, I’m okay,” Jisoo replies, trying for her sweetest smile. It lasts for about half a second before the effort becomes too much. She sighs. “I’m… not sure.”
“I can tell,” Wonwoo says with a small laugh. Jisoo has the weird urge to ruffle her hair. “Do you want me to call Jihoon?”
“No!” Jisoo hurries to reply. It’s a little too fast, a little too startled, she knows it is and Wonwoo probably knows too but she doesn’t say anything, bless her heart.
Wonwoo leads Jisoo to her bedroom and lets her sit on the bed. Wonwoo disappears out the room, only to return with two mugs of tea a few minutes later. She sits opposite Jisoo, legs crossed, and offers her a mug. “Do you wanna talk about it? I can’t promise I’ll know how to help you but I can definitely listen.”
Jisoo’s first instinct is to shake her head, maybe hide behind her tea. It’s mint, which she doesn’t really like, but it doesn’t matter right now – a cup of tea is a perfectly good thing to hyperfocus on when you want to avoid the outside world. But Wonwoo is patient, calm, and when Jisoo finally looks up to meet her eyes, there’s no judgment there. No irritation, exasperation, nothing that would make Jisoo want to shrink back into herself. So instead of hiding behind her mint tea, she talks.
*
“Did you know,” Wonwoo starts when Jisoo finally finishes the story of how she ruined her own life, “that I liked Jihoon years before we got together?”
Jisoo blinks at her. “Really? I knew you two knew each other before and Jihoon has talked about you but… Really?”
Wonwoo nods. “Four years. And we barely saw each other through all of them. I can’t help but imagine what would have happened if I’d seen her every single day of those four years.”
“You would’ve grown tired of her,” Jisoo smiles. She doubts it, but what else would happen? Four years are a long time.
“Or,” Wonwoo says, “the feelings would’ve only intensified. Until finally one or both of us broke.”
Jisoo keeps quiet. She should be surprised, it seems like the logical reaction - but the surprise suspiciously missing from her heart. No matter how much she denies it, it just… makes sense. Seungcheol’s looks, Seungcheol’s new wardrobe, Seungcheol’s complete lack of resistance both times Jisoo slid her hands up her shirt.
Wonwoo pats her knee. “I’d love to let you stay over, I really would. But I think you have an important conversation waiting for you at home.”
Jisoo laughs, lets herself fall back on Wonwoo’s bed. “What did Jihoon do to deserve you, seriously.”
“Just so you know,” Wonwoo says, getting up. When she leans over Jisoo to pull her up as well, she’s grinning. “Flattery won’t stop me from kicking you out.”
Jisoo rolls her eyes. “I take it back, you two deserve each other.”
Wonwoo pats her shoulder in mock sympathy but there’s genuine worry in her eyes, too. Jisoo can’t help but smile. They do deserve each other indeed.
*
Jisoo picks up a box of doughnuts on her way back and spends a lot of time staring at the night sky. You can’t really see the stars from the smog but Jisoo remembers the sky back at home well enough to imagine how they’d look like.
She remembers how one night, when they were drunk and bored, Seungcheol convinced her to go up on the roof to stargaze. The sky was just as starless then as it is right now but they still spent the night trying to guess where each constellation would be. None of them knew anything about astronomy at all but that didn’t matter – the stars were there, at least in their minds, and that’d been enough.
When Jisoo gets home, the apartment is eerily quiet. Jisoo flicks on the light in the living room and – oh. Seungcheol is there, curled up on the couch in that same shirt Jisoo took off just hours ago.
Her eyes are closed but Jisoo has seen her sleep enough times to know now is not one of them. She leaves the doughnuts on the coffee table and kneels next to Seungcheol, brushing a few strands of hair out of her face. Her eyes are puffy.
Seungcheol opens them and, yeah, they’re red too. For a few seconds, Jisoo can’t think past the guilt that suffocates her. Seungcheol gives her a watery smile. “You came back.”
“Of course I did,” Jisoo says, tries for a smile too. Here, this close, it’s not hard at all. “I brought doughnuts, too.”
Seungcheol sits up and takes the box in her lap. She opens, stares at the doughnuts like they hold the secrets to life. “I’m sorry,” she mumbles, eyes still glued on the box. “I promise I’ll keep my hands to myself from now on.”
Jisoo closes the box and moves it back to the coffee table. She takes Seungcheol’s hands in hers. “What if I don’t want you to? I wasn’t exactly resisting.”
“Sure,” Seungcheol laughs. It sounds a little choked. “But you kept running away after.”
“Well, I’m an idiot,” Jisoo states confidently. This time when Seungcheol laughs, she sounds a lot more like her usual self. Jisoo squeezes her hands. “I guess I’m just… scared? I don’t even know.” She drops her head on Seungcheol’s shoulder and that – that is familiar. Comfortable.
Seungcheol runs a hand through her hair. “Maybe we should just stop. We’ve managed to get this far without getting horizontal, it can’t be this hard.”
“Been there, done that. Look how well it worked,” Jisoo laugh. She reaches for Seungcheol’s free hand and entwines their fingers together. “And I kinda really like kissing you.”
Seungcheol sighs. “I like kissing you too but that’s not exactly helping here.” They stay together like that, quiet, until Seungcheol speaks again. “What if we kept the kissing? Surely a few kisses never hurt anyone, friends kiss each other all the time.”
Jisoo raises an eyebrow. “I doubt a lot of friends kiss each other the way we do.”
“I mean,” Seungcheol tries to amend, “we’re special?”
It’s not a lie, not at all. It just… could mean so many things. Jisoo lays her head on Seungcheol’s shoulder again. “Are you sure? The last thing I want is for me to freak out and make you cry again.”
“I can handle myself.” Seungcheol says and here, here is the Seungcheol Jisoo knows. “It’s just kissing. We’re big girls, we can keep our hands off each other until we figure things out.”
Jisoo thinks about it. Now that the platonic part of their platonic marriage is well and truly out the window, it’s not a lot they can do. Ignoring the issue entirely proved useless and this, well… This sounds nice. Kissing is nice. Seungcheol is lovely.
They have so much to talk about still but right now, this moment, Jisoo feels nice. And Seungcheol is giving her this tentative, hopeful smile – and who is she to say no to that?
“Okay,” Jisoo breathes finally. This time, when Seungcheol lifts her chin and leans down to kiss her, there is not a single regret in her mind.