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“Sing to me.”
“No.”
“Please sing?”
“No, darling, I can’t sing. Leave me alone.”
“But, I need to hear your voice.”
“Well, then I’ll talk to you... tell you a story. But I’m not singing.”
“Stories are for bedtime, Kingston, you need to sing to wake me up in the mornings.”
“It nearly is bedtime...”
“Not here, it’s not.”
“I’m not singing.”
“Please?”
“Be quiet.”
“Pretty please?”
“No, Matthew. Now, shut up.”
“Pretty please with a cherry on top?”
“Don’t be silly.”
“I’m not silly. I’ll make it up to you.”
“How?”
“Wait til I next get you alone...”
“Promises, promises.”
“I mean it!”
“Wouldn’t you much prefer my voice waking you up in some other way...?”
“What other way?”
“Oh, I don’t know, I can think of a few filthy things I’d like to do to you... I could describe them to you in great detail...?”
“That sounds tempting...”
“Mmmm...”
“Can you sing them to me in great detail?”
“Oh my god, Matthew, will you quit asking me to sing.”
“Yes.”
“Thank you.”
“When you give in and decide to sing to me.”
“Urgh, Matt.”
“All you have to do is sing one teeny tiny little song and I’ll leave you alone.”
“What teeny tiny little song?”
“Any teeny tiny little song. Or... it could be a longer song if you wish...”
“Don’t test your luck, boy.”
“Oi! Who are you calling boy?”
“Well, I do believe you’re the only one I’m on the phone to, darling.”
“I’m not a boy. I’m a man – and you know it!”
“I think perhaps I need reminding, darling. Your asking me to sing to you doesn’t help your case.”
“It’s manly for a bloke to ask his girl to sing to him.”
“No, it’s really not. It’s the sort of thing I’d expect you to ask your mother...”
“Kingston!”
“It’s the sort of thing I did for Salome when she was a little girl...”
“She still is a little girl.”
“Not really, darling, she’s hit her teens now.”
“She’s still little...”
“Hmmm... she’s grown a bit since you last saw her. She’s overtaken me in height already.”
“Well, she’ll always be little to me.”
“I think almost everyone is little to you.”
“You love my tall, lankiness.”
“Indeed I do, darling.”
“So sing to me.”
“Oh Matt... No!”
“Sing to me to prove you love me.”
“Matt, I do not need to sing to you to prove my love.”
“Yes, you do.”
“I don’t.”
“You do!”
“Why do I?”
“Because I asked you to.”
“And?”
“And you’re supposed to do anything for the one you love... even sing... even if you don’t want to.”
“Well, aren’t you supposed to prove your love to me by allowing me to say no and accepting that as my answer?”
“What?”
“You want me to sing... so I should sing. But I don’t want to sing... so you should allow me not to.”
“That makes absolutely no sense, Kingston.”
“It makes perfect sense.”
“Just, be quiet and sing, woman.”
“Did you just call me woman?”
“No.”
“Yes you did!”
“I would never...”
“Oh you so would. Matthew Robert Smith I am appalled at you. Don’t expect me to sing you anything now.”
“I wasn’t expecting you to anyway.”
“Really?”
“You didn’t want to... that was the last time I was going to ask.”
“Well, that’s a shame.”
“Why?”
“If you’d have asked me one more time I would have given in.”
“Please sing to me, Kingston?”
“Haha, no.”
“But, you just said.”
“I know, but before that, you called me woman.”
“You are a woman, Alex.”
“That may be, but being called woman is degrading.”
“I find it endearing...”
“Oh really.”
“It’s how I meant it.”
“Like when I call you darling?”
“Precisely.”
“Hmmm... I suppose I can forgive you.”
“Will you sing to me now?”
“No. Matthew... I...whether or not I would like to sing to you... I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Not right now.”
“Why?”
“Because...”
“That’s not an answer, Kingston.”
“Because I’m... busy...”
“Doing what?”
“None of your business.”
“It’s totally my business.”
“No, it’s not.”
“You’re not sleeping with another man behind my back, are you?”
“What?”
“Afraid to wake him if you sing to me?”
“No!”
“Then what?”
“I’m just busy, Matt, alright.”
“Too busy to sing to your man who is stranded half way across the world from you, seeking comfort from you the only way he knows how...”
“Oh stop with your silly sob story.”
“It’s not silly.”
“You’re crazy, darling.”
“Crazy for you.”
“Oh shush.”
“Make me.”
“I can’t from here.”
“It feels like I’m right beside you, talking like this...”
“I wish you were, Matt.”
“Me too.”
“Mmmm...”
“Then I’d pounce on you and tackle you to the floor, tickling you until you finally relented and started singing for me.”
“Oh you ridiculous man.”
“That’s me!”
“What am I going to do with you?”
“Sing to me.”