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The Talk

Summary:

Jin decides it's time to give Kookie 'The Talk'.

Notes:

I was supposed to finish this yesterday, but I was too busy streaming Fake Love with all my devices! :D

40.9M+ views! We've come such a long way, Fam! <3

The whole album is DOPE af, I can't decide which song I like more! Also, BTS' BuzzFeed interview stole my heart away, honestly! <3

Work Text:

Yoongi had been staring at Seokjin for the past five minutes, which would explain the latter's twitching eyebrow. The younger had opened his mouth to speak, and had shut it immediately, and this had been repeated countless times, making him seem like a gaping fish.

"Hyung," he started, in a voice which had the underlying tone of 'what in the dumb fucking daylights', "I cannot grasp why our 16 month old son needs to be taught about human reproduction. Your youngest brother is 16 years old and still thinks babies are brought by storks."

Seokjin narrowed his eyes at him.
"Taehyung will believe what he wants to, and you will let him. Let's make that clear." Yoongi gulped. "Also, when I said we need to give Kookie 'The Talk', I didn't mean the Birds and the Bees talk. We need to teach him to be polite."

 

"You're right. His cuteness is too rude, it melts my heart. It's a problem."

"Yoongi."

"I'm sorry."

"What I'm saying is, we can't have Kookie demanding for anything and everything. He needs to be polite and reasonable. Being rude will get him nowhere in life, he'll just grow up to be a spoilt brat."

"You're telling me, a rapper, that being rude is not going to get someone anywhere in life? You fell in love with me because I threw insults at everyone in the underground rap battles!"

 

"I fell in love with Agust D. Sadly, I had to settle for Min Yoongi."


 

"Banana Milk? That's our weapon?"

"Weapon?! Yoongi, we're not waging a war! We're just educating our son!"

Yoongi still looked unsure, but didn't comment.

"Kookie~" Jin sang, drawing the boy's attention to him, and away from his pool of toys.

"Appa~" Kookie made grabby paws at him, and beside Jin, Yoongi melted and became one with the floorboards.

"Look what I have here~" Jin picked him up, stepping over the Yoongi puddle to reach his son.

"Abababa mweak!"

Before Jungkook could reach it though, Jin pulled it away from his grasp.

"Appa, want!" He pouted, and Jin sighed that the second word Kookie had learnt to pronounce properly was 'want'. He shouldn't say it, but his other parent was definitely a bad influence.

"Kookie, if you want something, you need to say Please. Repeat after me, P L E A S E."

"Piss."

"Please."

"Peas!"

"Please~"

"Pweas~"

"That's right. Always remember, you need to be polite. Okay?"

Kookie nodded simply, surely not having understood Jin at all, relishing his treat. Jin sighed, exasperated as Yoongi cooed at them from the side, being of absolutely no help. It didn't matter though, as long as his son learnt something today.


 

"Hello?"

"Yoongi Hyung! Help me! Kookie has attached himself to Hobi's leg and isn't letting him go!"

"Namjoon, you're a full grown man against my three pounds of pink flesh son. You can't be serious."

"Hyung, you don't understand! He's throwing a fit here. He says since he said Please, Hobi should be given to him."

 

 

"JIN! Our son just became more rude!"

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