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Keith and Lance have always been a good couple, thanks to deep trust, mutual understanding, and above all, respect. They don’t fight often. Lance prides himself in their steady relationship.
All it takes is a missed train to bring everything to the ground.
“What do you mean the L train already left? We’re only like thirty seconds late?” Lance demands from the teller, who looks less than amused with his tone. He feels Keith tugging at his arm, silently begging him not to make a spectacle but he doesn’t care, he just doesn’t care. Because now he isn’t going to make it home in time.
“C’mon, Lance, don’t get upset. It’s gonna be okay,” Keith consoles, linking his left arm with Lance’s right, trying to pull him away from the ticket stall and to the bathrooms. Instead, he just pulls free from Keith’s grasp and storms off in the opposite direction, the other boy trailing. He walks aimlessly for a minute until stopping abruptly, which causes Keith to walk right into his back. It only makes him angrier when Keith gives him a look, that look, the one that pleads for him to stop overreacting.
“I’m beyond upset, Keith! I missed so many years on Earth, and I’ve been waiting for Día de Los Reyes since we got back! My family is going to be devastated when I don’t show up in time,” he shouts, balling his hands up in fists at his sides as he storms in the direction of the parking lot. “Maybe if you had been ready on time-”
“Maybe if you hadn’t been so incompetent as to book the last train of the day!” Keith, defensive as always, is quick to match fire with fire. And to be honest, that comment stings because Keith knows exactly what to say to hurt him. He seems to pick up on his mistake, and for a moment he looks apologetic. “Look,” Keith begins, voice softer than it’d been as they approach their car, “the next train is at 8am. We can get up early and be at your parents’ by noon, okay?”
“No, Keith! Not okay! I want to be with them now!” He isn’t ready to concede because he’s still frustrated, still so upset, so hurt, so disappointed. He’s been waiting for this since they’d returned to Earth in August. He lowers his voice, still fuming, and laces his words with all the venom he can possibly muster because it’s Keith’s fault he missed this.
“You just wouldn’t understand what it’s like. You will never understand.”
And then Keith flinches like the words have a tangible burn. He doesn’t say a word though, and instead opens the door to their car, sits, and starts the engine. Lance follows, buckling his seatbelt as Keith pulls away from the station. The silence is deafening.
Lance tries not to look at the boy to his left, but he catches glimpses throughout the ride home. They’re both silent the entire time. Keith’s gaze stays transfixed on the road in front of him, unwavering, unblinking. In fact, he barely even looks like he’s breathing. His only movements are his hands on the steering wheel. Lance recognizes it all too well. He knows that stiff posture, that set mouth, that hard gaze. Keith is hurt, he thinks, I hurt him.
And just as he starts to feel guilty and apologetic, he thinks of his mamá, all his primos, his older siblings, all missing him on one of the biggest holidays they celebrate. He thinks of his empty chair at the big table. And suddenly he doesn’t feel bad for what he said. He’s just so mad at Keith, at himself, at that stupid train for leaving without them. He’d give anything to be on his way to his family with his boyfriend at his side. Unfortunately, the universe had other plans.
When they finally get back to their apartment, Keith doesn’t park. He just pulls to the side of the road and unlocks the doors. “What are you doing?” Lance asks indignantly, not moving from his seat.
“Get out.” The words are the first Keith’s spoken in nearly twenty minutes, and they’re barely a whisper. He doesn’t look at Lance, who doesn’t move. Keith raises his voice. “I said. Get. Out.”
Each word is punctuated with malice, but Keith’s voice stays frighteningly even. This just makes Lance even more furious, and he hastily gets out of the car. He shouts one last time for good measure, before slamming the door with excessive force. “Don’t bother coming home tonight, asshole.”
And with that, Keith speeds away. It’s an unspoken ‘fuck you, too’.
By the time Lance stumbles into their apartment, he’s thoroughly drained. He takes a tub of dairy-free ice cream (Fuck Keith and his lactose intolerance. Where’s all the real ice cream?) and heads up to their room. He puts on some old telenova that he watched when he was younger with his sisters, and tucks himself under the covers with the show playing on his laptop.
And that’s when he finally lets himself cry.
It takes everything out of him, body and soul, and eventually he falls asleep around 9pm from pure exhaustion. The telenova runs on the TV through the night, and the ice cream melts on the nightstand. He doesn’t hear Keith come home an hour later.
____
He wakes up restless. Cold. Alone. The blinking clock on the other side of the room tells him it’s nearing three in the morning. It takes him a minute or two to figure out why his boyfriend isn’t next to him and, when he remembers, he feels an uncomfortable churning in his stomach. It’s easily identified as guilt.
He tells himself he should probably brush his teeth, but he really just wants to check if Keith is home and safe. And to sleep on the couch with him because he hates being alone in that stupid bed. But when he unlocks the door and opens it, he nearly trips over something large in his tired haze.
And there Keith is, curled up outside his door. In his hand are two tickets back home for 7am.
Keith stirs at his feet and mumbles a little to himself - a habit Lance always found adorable. “I could have stepped on you, tonto,” he laughs softly and crouches down next to the boy. He takes the tickets and put them aside, before gathering Keith in his arms and carrying him to their bed.
When he sets him down, Keith mumbles some more, specifically his name. Even though Keith isn’t conscious, Lance responds gently, softened by tiredness. “I’m here, cariño, I’m here.”
He gets them both under the covers before wrapping himself around Keith. And, god, Keith is always so warm. He wonders how he even fell asleep in the first place without the boy.
It takes another few minutes until he notices the tear tracks on Keith’s face, and Lance feels that uncomfortable, gut-twisting guilt again. It wasn’t Keith’s fault he didn’t understand; he didn’t have anyone to care about. It wasn’t fair to shove that fact in his face. Still, Lance tries to remind himself that Keith hurt him too, that Keith said bad things too. Of course neither of them meant it, but that didn’t make anything better.
They’d talk about that in the morning though. Maybe on the train ride. Right now, though, all Lance could do was kiss away the tear stains and hold Keith close. So that was exactly what he did.
“M’sorry,” he feels Keith mumble into his neck. It startles him a bit since he thought the other boy was asleep, but he recovers quickly and threads tentative fingers through Keith’s thick hair.
“I love you,” he whispers, both an acceptance and an apology. Keith kisses his collarbone in reciprocation but doesn’t move from where he’s situated under Lance’s chin, who speaks again softly. “Definitely shouldn’t have yelled at you,” he’s interrupted by a yawn. “Wasn’t your fault.”
“But you were right,” Keith says softly, and then let’s out a weighted sigh. Lance feels him tense up before he continues. “I won’t ever understand that part of your life. But I’m trying, I really am.” He pauses for a bit, wraps his arms around Lance’s middle and buries his face further into his shoulder. His words become muffled, but still decipherable. “I just thought about how I would feel if I had to spend a holiday without you. I can see why family is so important.”
“I know you’re trying, cariño. I appreciate it.” He punctuates his words with a kiss pressed to the top of Keith’s head, who relaxes into the embrace. It’s Lance’s turn to sigh. “I just miss them so much. And I’m happy to live here with you, so close to campus, but sometimes it’s hard being a train ride away from them.”
“I went back to the station and got us tickets first thing in the morning,” Keith mumbles through a yawn, clearly drifting off.
“I love you,” is all he can manage. It’s the only way he can express how truly thankful he is for everything Keith does.
“Love you too, Lance.” It isn’t long before they both fall asleep, content and warm in each other’s arms.