Chapter Text
They found each other too early. That must seem like a strange thing to other people, to think that he’d found his soulmate too early, but Tadashi knew that it was true. The world was full of stories about how everyone had someone out in the world was was perfect for them, the other half of their heart and soul, but only a very lucky few other found them. When they did a word was supposed to appear on their bodies, in the same place for both, and that was how they were to find each other.
It was just a story to most people. Sure there were people who claimed a friend of a friend had found that just right person, or a distant cousin they could never give a name to or provide proof of, but that was just stories. Just talk. A fairy tale, at best, that parents told alongside stories of princesses and dragons. A nice story but no something to believe in.
And yet Tadashi had found his partner, one sunny afternoon in a park he’d walked through a hundred times before. He hadn’t known it when he first looked up and saw Kei Tsukishima, all sharp eyes, scornful frown, and a lazily twitching tail but he’d known something. Felt something that even years later was hard to describe to himself let alone others.
He’d felt cold and hot all at once, had been breathless and dizzy, throat tight but at the same time he’s felt...weightless. Lightheaded, like he’d been underwater just a little too long but wasn’t yet ready to resurface, stomach fluttering, palms sweating, heart thumping and something like...bubbles, little carbonation bubbles, filling up his chest and fizzing inside of him. He’d known his mouth was open in surprise and, when indifferent brown eyes flicked over to focus on him, his face had gone hot. Was he blushing?
He was blushing.
And then it was over, the strange blond boy with tawny ears and a long bushy tail turning and walking away, leaving only an echo of ‘lame’ in his wake.
That and an overwhelming need to find him again. To have those eyes on him, to be...to be at his side. He didn’t understand what those feelings meant, or why, but that didn’t stop him from acting on them. He sought the boy out, learned his name, became his friend, and all the while those feelings, the fizzing and bubbling and fluttering, just got stronger and stronger. Volleyball was the center of their new friendship and Tsukishima was hard to get to know at first. Not cold exactly, that sort of thing would come later, but rather a little awkward. Tadashi would realize later than his new friend was no better with people than he was, not really having any other friends and spending most of his time alone with books or with his brother before Tadashi.
But with time it grew until they were together more often than apart, so intrinsically part of each other’s lives that Tadashi felt...hollow when they were apart.
Incomplete.
Sleepovers were the norm, when their families made plans the other was always factored in, summer breaks were together, be it on vacation with their families, at the beach or hiding out in the library to make use of the AC, or just in their respective backyards, sitting shoulder to shoulder, tails flicking against each other (or curling together shyly when no one was around to see) and listening to bugs chirp as their hands became sticky with ice cream.
Maybe it had been too much. Maybe they were too dependent, content to shut out everyone else and making all of their future plans around each other, but too young for anyone to notice or care. Maybe the way they did things, Tsukishima giving orders and making plans and Tadashi following along without thought, wasn’t right.
Except it was right to do it. Sometimes a part of his brain would want to protest because he didn’t like looking for beetles or climbing trees, but saying no was never an option. The very idea of refusing Kei anything made his chest hurt and stomach churn like he was going to be sick, but when he gave in he felt...at ease. Peaceful.
When Kei smiled at him, that bright genuine grin with no scorn or mockery behind it that was only for Tadashi, it was like the sun coming out after it rained and shining just on him. It was the smell of grass after the storm, warmth on his skin when he tilted his face up towards the light, it was breathing in, feeling his lungs expand and fill with the sweet post-rain air. That smile was one he’d do anything to have focused on him.
Tsukishima Kei was someone, the one someone, Tadashi would never deny or disobey.
Tadashi doesn’t remember exactly when the mark appeared, but he remembers sitting with Kei after what they would forever after call the ‘Akiteru Thing’, watching as Kei tried to power through his upset by sheer will alone. He remembers his face being blotchy red, mouth and red rimmed eyes narrowed, hands fisted in this lap, breath coming in strained furious gasps, and that he’d been shaking. He remembers reaching over and grabbing Kei’s hand. At first he'd just been holding the back of his fist and his friend had been rigid, refusing to soften but then. Then Kei’s hand opened for him, turned so fingers fit with his own and sweaty palms pressed together. He didn’t say anything, didn’t do anymore than hold his hand while Kei finally gave in, turned towards him, and cried on his shoulder. He remembers the sound of it, loud rattling sobs that echoed in his small bedroom, the feel of tears sinking through his t-shirt, and Kei shaking.
Tadashi had been upset too, didn't understand why Akiteru, who he looked up to and thought of like a cool older brother, had lied to Kei. What was the point? How could he? The face burning humiliation of the moment, of realizing he and Kei had adamantly defended a lie, was something that would linger for a long time.
And yet he’d been happy. Happier than he’d ever been in all his life in this quiet moment with their hands clasped together and tears running down his best friend’s face. It felt...right. Like something he hadn't realized was missing had finally slotted into place and now that it was there it was so obvious, how had he not realized it was missing?
He was meant to do this, backup and prop up his best friend. This was his place.
Kei because colder after that. Quieter. Angrier. Left a lot of his old interests and hobbies behind in favor of more focus on school work. The only things that remained were volleyball and Tadashi.
He noticed the mark sometimes after that. Black letters, on his left side, starting just below his armpit and continuing for about a finger’s length. It was near impossible to see on his own without contorting himself or, as it happened, accidentally glimpsed in the bathroom mirror while stripping down for a bath. He’d touched it, prodded at the strange shapes (English wasn’t his strongest subject so, while he knew the letters he didn't know what they meant. So he’d gone to Kei, who was top of his class in the subject.
It never occurred to him to go to his parents and, when Kei reached out and traced the letters then, expression pensive, lifted his shirt to show identical letters, he knew he’d he’d made the right choice.
D E F E N S E L E S S
Reaching out and touching Kei, feeling the smoothness of the mark and how it was very much part of Kei’s skin, came without thought. He just had to do it; his fingers went cold and numb then, just as quickly, everything was warm and he was so very aware of his friend. The echoing thrum of his heartbeat, the heat of his skin, the way his ribs rose and fell with every breath. The intensity of his eyes peering down at him. The anxious thrashing of his tail and the way his ears were flat against his skull, the only signs he was agitated.
“Defenseless.” Kei had said, brows furrowed. “That's what it says.”
Tadashi shuddered, stricken with...unease? Fear? Something was...hearing it from Kei’s mouth made his heart swell and his skin tingle but, at the same time, a weight had settled on his chest and breathing was hard. He knew, somehow, that something was changing. That they were on the edge of something, stumbling, falling into it.
“Defenseless.” He repeated, finally pulling his hand away. And shivering again, though this time it was from a rush of stomach twisting warmth, sticky sweet and honey thick, low in his gut. Kei’s eyes flickered, darkened, widened as the pupils shrank.
They stared are each other, the word hanging between them, around their necks, dragging them together with each breath.
The first kiss was hesitant, feather light, unsure. The second, after a strangled inhale and beat, was firmer, wet, with grasping hands and sliding mouths and *need* that Tadashi had never felt before. They fell into the bed, hands everywhere and rails curling together in a way that would have made their parents scream because they were supposed to let other people touch their ears or tail, it was ‘personal’, as Tadashi’s parents always said with hushed voices and averted eyes.
Tadashi didn't disagree. Electricity ran up his spine as their tails twined together, his sleek brown fur pressing against Kei’s blond, thicker fur, and there was a stirring inside of him. Curious he reached down, curled shaking fingers around where their tails were connected and then gasped, sparks bursting on the back of his eyelids. Kei moaned, husky and surprised against his mouth.
Everything changed. They didn't know what the marks meant really, beyond an internet search and the word soul mates which was a little much to *get* at the time, beyond that they didn't need anyone else. They were meant to be friends, and whatever else, and no one else could possibly understand *this*, so why should they bother with other people? There was them, apart and different, and there was the rest of the world. It wasn't anyone's fault, it was just hard to compete for attention against makeouts and clumsy handjobs, and very easy to become obsessed when you know the person your with is The Person. If it wasn't about Tsukishima Tadashi just...didn’t care.
Kei grew a little meaner, tongue a little sharper, eyes colder for everyone but Tadashi, who followed behind, snickering behind his hand and playing innocent behind meek ‘Sorry Tsukki!’s.
It didn't take long for the world to take the hint and move on past them. Their families worried and tried to gently pry them apart but it never took.
They have up when their ears and tail dropped off, first Tadashi's and Kei’s shortly after. It was a strange time. Everyone knew what it meant, even if they hid it behind cleaned up tales of ‘when you become an adult your ears disappear!’. It meant you'd lost your virginity (“Whatever that means.” Kei had grumbled, rubbing at the sore spot where Tadashi’s cat ears had been. “Hands jobs don't count but blow jobs do? Tsk.”) and all the world could tell. His mother had looked stricken, as if he’d slapped her, and his father resigned.
(“It was happening sooner or later.”
“He’s too young!”)
It was a weird way to end junior high, where the hallways had been full of curious and scornful eyes and whispers had dogged his steps. It was a weird way to start high school, where he could feel eyes on him, them, starting from the first day. He didn't see anyone else without their ears at the entrance speech or in his classes. Their first practice with the volleyball team proved to be the same, them alone in a sea of others with twitching ears and tails, fixing them with looks before moving on. He’d decided, in his head, that this would be no different that anything else, had been preparing himself to build up the walls to keep everyone else far away when the ringing started.
It was a warbling tone, a single shaking high pitch ringing that started faint but swiftly grew and grew in volume and intensity. It happened fast. One moment he was listening to the captain, Daichi, explain about a 3v3 they were going to play against the other first year pair and the next he was wincing against the ringing and then he was bent over, hands clamped over his ears, teeth gritted together against pressure in his head. It throbbed inside his skull, pulsed in time with the ringing, pushed out and out. His head was going to crack open! His vision dimmed as his eyes bulged in their sockets, forced outward.
The pressure was so-
“Fight denied.”
The ringing stopped. The thing trying to make his brain implode vanished as quickly as it had come. Color and light returned.
He was was the floor, curled in on himself, gasping for air and, oh eww, drooling a little bit. A hand was on his shoulder; he picked up his head and turned, expecting to see Tsukki but finding instead one of the older players. Ennoshita? Tadashi was pretty sure that was his name.
“Chikara,” One of the other boys, the loud one with the shaved head and gold and black striped ears, called. Tadashi’s eyes flicked over, alarm bells going off when he saw the boy was crowding Tsukishima back against a wall, hands on his chest. Kei looked...murderous, might have been accurate. “You got him?”
“Yeah, it’s fine.” Ennoshita said, helping him to his feet. “Tell Daichi I'm taking Yamaguchi to the infirmary.”
Everyone else in the gym was, oddly enough, still chatting about the other first years like nothing had happened. Tadashi was too startled, and woozy, to do anything but stare as he was guided towards the doors.
“ Wait! ” Kei commanded. Tadashi’s feet stopped, connecting to the floor and refusing to be budged. His muscles locked and his brain said ‘okay. I'll wait.’ He couldn't have moved even if he wanted to. But he didn't want to, not if Tsukishima wanted him to stay. Doing what Kei wanted him to do was what he wanted, needed, to do.
“Hey hey, don’t do that.” Shaved head said, poking Kei in the chest. “Don’t be an asshole.”
Tadashi could practically hear his teeth grinding. “I'm sure you're an expert but I’m not-"
“Is there a problem?” Daichi, voice silky smooth and dangerous.
“No.” Shaved head said quickly, fake laughter in his voice. “Yamaguchi has a headache. Migraine. Chikara is taking him to the infirmary and I'm trying to convince String Bean here-
“String bean-” Tsukishima started only to be cut off.
“That even if he's worried there’s no point sending him if he doesn't know the way. Right?”
Kei was quiet for a second before letting out a gusty breath. “Right."
Tadashi's body relaxed all at once and, with one last confused glance back at a sour looking Kei, he was pulled away and out of the gym.
----
They didn't go to the infirmary. Ennoshita lead him around to the other side of the school, by the baseball field, sat him at a table and pressed a warm milk tea from a vending machine into his hands.
“Drink that. It’ll help with the headache that comes after a battle starts, or almost starts.”
Tadashi looked at the bottle, barely seeing it even though he felt it in his hands, the shape, and feel, and heat, then looked up at Ennoshita. “Battle?”
Ennoshita’s expression changed rapidly, from surprise to worry to something dark and unhappy. He sat next to Tadashi and pulled his legs up so he could rest his chin on his knees and wrap his arms around them. His tail snaked forward, looped around one of his calves, and his ears, chocolate brown with fluffy tufts of hair at the tips, were laid back.
“You have a word written on you and, I’m guessing, matches on on Tsukishima?” Tadashi didn’t say anything but the shock he felt must have shown on his face because a moment later he was staring at Ennoshita’s ankle. With the sock pushed down to the heel and his foot pulled out of his show some he could see black letters.
L I M I T L E S S
“oh.” He breathed out. “You have...oh.”
“Tanaka is my match.” Ennoshita tugged his sock back up. “He’s my Sacrifice and I’m his Fighter.” Tadashi blinked. Ennoshita smiled, so kind and understanding it made it hard for Tadashi to look at him without his eyes burning. “You’ve never fought another pair?”
He shook his head. “No, why...why would I? I don’t want to fight anyone.”
“We don’t always get a choice.” He looked solemn, thoughtful, and sad, eyes staring at something that Tadashi couldn't see before flicking back to him and the present. "That's what happened in the gym. Our...Tanaka calls them Fighter Auras." Ennoshita made a face and rolled his eyes. "They clashed. Normally it means one of us is looking to fight, or is feeling defensive-"
Tadashi looked down at his hands and bit his lower lip.
"...Ah. Well, I stopped it, by refusing the fight. But some people don't let you refuse and that pain, you felt before, it just keeps getting worse and worse until you give in. And then- Ah. It's complicated. And a lot." Ennoshita sighed. "But the way it works is you, the Fighter, do the damage to the other team and your Sacrifice takes the damaged. All of it, until your sacrifice is unconscious or you give up. Or the sacrifice dies."
Tadashi's mouth opened, worked to form words but none came to him. Ennoshita looked away again, frowning. "I don't know why it happens or how, and when it does all the normal people around you just...don't see anything. It's...I don't like it, watching Tanaka get-" He stopped again, tongue dragging over his lips. "I'll try to teach you what I can. You don't want to be caught off guard like we were."
Tadashi wanted to shake his head, to repeat that he didn't want to fight. He didn't want to see Kei get hurt, that was...that was horrible! He wouldn't do it! No one could make him, he didn't care how much it hurt.
But he bowed his head and listened, because Tsukishima would want to know and then...then they would figure it out together.