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There was a distinct moment where Nanao realised that was in love with Ichiro.
And not in the distinctly paternal way he had originally thought he felt for the younger man or even in a big brotherly way (That’s how he felt for the rest of the club members). Ichiro was different. Ichiro was special. He had been for a while now, though Nanao hadn’t exactly realised it at first.
It wasn’t as if that anything happened in particular, really. It was just a typical day in the clubroom. Kyotaro was napping, Ryoma was recovering from whatever jab Nanao had thrown earlier and eating some sweets, and Nanao himself was sampling some new tea as he watched the little ones bicker amongst themselves. His usual smile was plastered on his face as he listened to the two throw heated words at one another, eyes glancing between them and mostly lingering at Ichiro’s lips.
“What do you mean that you don’t lick off the grease at the bottom of the chicken bucket?” Ichiro yelled, personally offended by whatever Taishi had just said.
“What do you mean you do?” Taishi yelled back, a mixture of horror and disgust wracked on his face. “It’s grease! Why would you go out of your way to drink grease?”
“Licking it off your fingers is so good and there’s not like there’s a lot anyway in the first place… So why not drink it? It’s a waste otherwise!”
“Grease is nothing but empty fat. When you eat, hell, drink it in your case, it strains your digestive system because fat takes the longest to digest! Not to mention it affects your intestinal gut fauna.”
“I’m drinking chicken grease, not deer! What the hell are you eating?”
“Not that! Argh! Just why? Why are you like this?”
“It’s delicious and salty! Don’t you agree, Nanao-senpai?”
Nanao had honestly sort of zoned out a long time ago. They had been arguing about fast food in general for the last forty minutes and he hadn’t actually planned on interrupting for another ten. Nanao had been perfectly content staring at the curves of Ichiro’s body and how cute Ichiro was when he was bouncing up and down, flailing his arms to get his point across to Taishi. It took him a second to realise that said the bouncing boy had stopped bouncing and Taishi had turned, both wanting to get their senior’s support. Nanao blinked blankly at the two of them as he tried to remember what they were prattling about but recovered smoothly with a cool smile.
“He’s right, Ichiro-kun. Chicken grease is bad for you.” Ichiro’s face fell. “We wouldn’t want our poor child dying on us so soon… but you know… there are better salty things you could be drinking, Ichiro-kun.”
“Really, senpai? Could you please show me?” Nanao could hear Ryoma gag on his tea behind him but he kept his pleasant smile, doing his very best not to laugh.
“Ah, you would be the type to want greasy meats, neh?… Maybe later, if you’re a good boy for me.” Nanao winked at Ichiro and he watched the boy’s face grow pink. Then, a huge grin split on the boy’s face and he nodded eagerly.
“Of course, senpai!”
So innocent.
Teasing Ichiro was so easy. Nanao didn’t even have to try to get a reaction out of the junior. Sure, sometimes the boy didn’t get his jokes and he didn’t squirm nearly as much as Ryoma, but having Ichiro there and teasing him was so satisfying to Nanao.
The two first-years were satisfied with the conclusion of their argument (Taishi had ‘won’ and Ichiro had Nanao's support) so they sat down and feasted on the awaiting snacks. As they did so, Nanao found himself inadvertently looking at Ichiro. He watched as the boy took the bun in both hands and snapped his little fangs over the bun, pulling off a mouthful of flaky pastry and making a real mess of himself.
“So delicious!” So honest. So transparent. So stupid. It was a wonder why Nanao liked Ichiro at all. Ichiro didn’t seem like his type, he was almost his polar opposite really. The man had such a passionate soul and wore his emotions on his sleeve. He was as open as his kiss name implied, so much so that it was a danger to himself really, and naive to a fault. He didn’t want him to change though. Nanao loved that about him.
Loved…
Nanao pulled his eyes away from Ichiro’s soft and shiny lips- speckled with food that had been tempting him to kiss off with his mouth- and stared out the window, almost as if expecting a camera crew there to film his bewildered expression. Love. Love? Was this love? The thought had never truly crossed his mind until that moment. There was no trigger for it: Lewd metaphors weren’t a big deal for the club (they went to an all-boys school, after all) and there had been nothing out of the ordinary. There was no lightbulb moment or an instance when the switch flicked. He just realised he was in love with the stupid, handsome boy who idolised him like a god for almost the entirety of the year. Plain and simple.
…
Nanao had to say that the moment he realised he was in love Ichiro was incredibly lackluster. There was no triumphant epiphany or morose dread that he thought that would come with the realisation of love. It was just… a fact. It was almost disappointing.
“… Wakura-senpai? Are you okay?” Ryoma asked. Nanao turned to his usual victim and gave a tired smile.
“I’m fine, Ryoma-kun. I‘ve just been hit by lassitude, that’s all.”
“You have girls giving you problems, senpai? Really? Oh man, I would have guessed you’re really good with the ladies. You’re so cool after all,” Ichiro piped up.
Nanao sighed and shook his head, an amused smile ghosting his face. Wow… he really had poor taste in men, didn’t he?
“Lassitude is state of physical or mental weariness, a lack of energy,” Nanao corrected him gently. “Not getting attitude from the ladies.”
“Oh… why can’t we call your feeling ‘feeling like Kyotaro’?”
“I second that,” Ryoma said, glancing at the sleeping man. The group laughed again before returning to the usual chatter. Nanao settled into the comfortable noise around him but he could feel his usual smile fading. Ichiro wasn’t very bright and incredibly naive and, while that did attract Nanao more than it rightly should have, it did put a sort of barrier between them. The mere concept of trying to confess his attraction to Ichiro seemed like an incredibly daunting task, even if Ichiro always practically throwing himself at his feet.
He wondered what dating Ichiro would entail. Would Ichiro be put off by being asked out or would he be too enthusiastic? Would he change or be the same as he always was? What did Ichiro want from their relationship? He wanted to tease and torment the younger boy still but Nanao wanted to also sweep Ichiro off his feet. He wanted to hang out privately with Ichiro and hold his hand, watch the boy go red and make him happy. He wanted to listen to him gasp and moan his name and pin him against the wall. He wanted to be the one to tell Ichiro how much he loved and admired him.
… what a strange thing to make him smile.
The conversation continued as normal all the way until the bell rings, signaling the break was over. Nanao began to sweep up the crumbs off the table as Ryoma got up to wash the cups and the first years headed off, since as their classroom was the furthest from the club room.
“See you, Nanao-senpai!” Ichiro waved at him and Nanao smiled back. The smaller man closed the door behind him and as soon as the sound of footsteps dissipated, Nanao sighed.
“… Well… that could have gone better, huh, Nanao-san?” Nanao blinked and glanced over to where Kyotaro was yawning, finally awake. “You really like Chiro don’t you?”
“What? Of course, he likes Ichiro-kun. Even if he teases him, he likes him around,” Ryoma piped up from the sink.
“… Yeah… that but he also wanted to kiss him. He always does.”
“Mighty forward today, aren’t you, Kyotaro-kun?” Nanao asked, incredibly calm despite how his heart leaped to his throat and he swore that his own face would go red if he dared to lose his concentration. How did Kyotaro know? Was it that obvious? Was this how other people felt when he was teasing them?
“I’m serious. You like Chiro. Good choice. You should like people that like you. Like me and Ata.”
“That’s not the example I’d use,” Nanao smirked. “Thanks for the moral support, Kyotaro-kun but don’t think that this is going anywhere. Ichiro-kun is still young and filled with youthful energy. He doesn’t need me crushing it at every opportunity.”
“Because you would.”
“Well, yeah.” Nanao felt rather satisfied hearing the nervous laugh from Ryoma and got up to dust the crumbs into the bin.
“Yeah… I guess so.” Kyotaro yawned. “But give it a try. Take small steps and see if it goes anywhere. Whatever your reason for not confessing causes you too much grief. Stressing is exhausting. Don’t do that.” Nanao stopped at the bin and frowned. Actually… pursue Ichiro? The thought never crossed his mind… Was there a reason for him to not actually go for the junior? Besides it being too easy…
“I’ll consider it.” …Maybe one date would be nice.
—————————
He should have started this much longer ago. This was not easy.
To be fair, Nanao didn’t reveal his hand straight away. He dropped hints. He acted coy. He did his best to get Ichiro to notice that his teasing wasn't just teasing but also flirting. It was hard to actually actively try to flirt instead of letting whatever sadistic remark fly but Nanao thought he was doing a very good job. He really was too. A week after Kyotaro had convinced him to get over the fear of rejection he didn’t know he had, Nanao had asked Ichiro out and agreed to head after school with him privately for ice cream.
Nanao was incredibly careful with Ichiro and he usually made sure that the younger boy actually wanted to do things, instead of mindlessly following him like a loyal puppy. He wanted a boyfriend out of this, not just more time with his favourite toy. One date became two when, a few days after, they went to the park together too. Then they began to hang out more and more. Sometimes they went for ice cream. Sometimes it was a movie. Sometimes it was studying. It didn’t really matter to him what they did, as long as they did it together.
Miraculously, Ichiro was getting the idea that there was something there between them too (‘It had only taken a month!’ Nanao thought triumphantly). He still didn’t realise they were dates but he had finally stopped inviting Taishi to all of their outings (although the half Taishi did show up for, he always did get such a pitying look from the younger man) and now had started to open up and was suggesting more places to hang out. It was nice to have a new form of friendship with Ichiro that wasn’t too different from the old one, although some moments Nanao found himself wanting to tangle his fingers through those thick, messy locks and kiss Ichiro senseless.
“Mahhh… how much longer can I take this?”
If this had been anyone else trying to date the brick wall that was Ichiro, he would have intervened by now and tried to get Ichiro to realise that the other person had the hots for him. He probably would have succeeded too. However, he really couldn’t manage the same since he was the one going out Ichiro. He couldn’t really interfere with his own love life, no matter how much it needed interfering with. Nanao had tried a number of times to confess in his usual roundabout way but Ichiro really didn’t get his intricately arranged confessions. Damn it. He really didn’t know how to be straightforward in a way that Ichiro could understand. Who actually said ‘I like you’ so plainly these days anyway?
“Nanao-senpai. Here. I got us the food.” Nanao looked up from the ocean to see the moron in question with the fried chicken and iced tea. Perhaps it wasn’t the most brilliant food and beverage combination but it’s something the two of them enjoyed and was suited for summer.
Nanao shuffled over and allowed Ichiro sit down on the towel next to him. Though there were a few people by the shore, the beach was quiet at this hour and it seemed as if they were the only two people here together. Ichiro placed the items on the blanket between them and grinned broadly.
“Thank you. It looks good,” Nanao smiled.
“Yeah, let’s eat.” Ichiro snatched up the first chicken wing and took a bite out of it. Nanao laughed. He found himself laughing and smiling a lot these days.
“I have to say, you’re always so hungry, aren’t you? Then again, little ones need their nutrition. They need to grow up quickly so they can get smarter already.”
“Yeah! I guess so! Ah! But I’m only two years your junior, senpai. I’m practically a man already,” Ichiro exclaimed. The blonde gave him a look that said ‘oh honey…’ instead of actually speaking. He sipped the tea as Ichiro continued to dig into the greasy meats, very notably not drinking the grease.
The two of them settled into some form of comfortable silence as they ate but before too long Nanao felt the urge to say something. He glanced over the man’s body, instinctively searching for ammo to satiate his sadism, and caught himself staring at the youth’s slender frame and how the younger’s tan skin glistened in the sun, highlighting his muscles. Man, he really was pretty, wasn’t he?
“Ah… senpai?” Obviously, Ichiro would have noticed him staring but Nanao pretended not to hear him. “Everything alright?”
“Everything is fine here. I’m getting what I want. That’s you if you were wondering.” The euphony from Ichiro’s light squeak of embarrassment coaxed another smile from Nanao. He put the drink down and leaned over. Ichiro’s face was as bright as his hair as he attempted to hide behind the small piece of chicken in his hand. So cute.
“Senpai, you’ve gotta calm down… My heart can’t take it if you tease in that sort of manner.”
“Teasing? Me? When have I ever done that?” Nanao had wondered if he could take much more of Ichiro’s stupidity. As cute as it was, he was starting to get tired of just dancing around. “I’m being incredibly serious, Ichiro. I’m glad to have you here on another date.”
“Nanao-senpai…” The boy blinked. “Eh? Date? … wait… another…” The boy’s face turned extremely red and he dropped the food back into the bucket. “EHHH??? Have we been dating this entire time?”
“Your obliviousness never ceases to amaze me. It’s both attractive and annoying.” Nanao laughed. Admittedly the boy’s reaction had made it almost worth the wait. Almost.
“You think I’m attractive?” Nanao didn’t even grace that with a response.
“We’ve gone on seventeen dates alone, Ichiro-kun. I’m glad I told you before it became seventy.”
“S-seventeen? And you never told me?” Nanao shrugged. “Senpai! I’m so sorry! If I had known that we’ve been dating, I would have tried harder to give you what you want.”
“I’m glad to have you here. Honestly, that’s it.”
“But I would have tried to at least be a better boyfriend. Ah! We’re probably boyfriends too now as well! Ah, I’m sorry, senpai.” Ichiro buried his face into his hands. Nanao sighed and petted Ichiro’s head.
“Not too late to start, Ichiro-kun. You’ve stayed my date for this long. We can move up when we’re ready.”
“But I really love you, senpai! More than a senpai! As a man too! If you asked me to make you my bride now, I’d say yes.” Nanao almost got a dry remark in but the boy continued. “I’m sorry I’m oblivious and I didn’t get to say that before! I love you, Nanao-senpai. I love you.”
Nanao could tell that those were Ichiro’s honest feelings (even though those had long been obvious) and he could feel the biggest smile appear on his face. Well… that hadn’t been so hard.
“Maybe I love you too.”
“Eh? What do you mean maybe? Do you or do you not? Why would you date someone seventeen times and not be sure?” Nanao laughed and Ichiro puffed his cheeks out, a bit annoyed. However, with a devilish smirk, the younger leaned over, taking Nanao’s cheeks into his slender hands and pulling their lips together.
For once in his life, Nanao was caught off guard and he really, really wasn’t disappointed. While the revelation of love had been disappointing, this was… everything. This was more than he could have dreamed of. Soft and gentle yet also passionate. Nanao found his hands moving into Ichiro’s hair, deepening their kiss as he closed their eyes. It was perfect.
When Ichiro pulled away, he tried to hide his face, shocked he had just done that to Nanao of all people. However, Nanao found himself holding Ichiro firmly in his arms.
“Fine. I do love you. I’m very interested in you.” He leaned his forehead against Ichiro’s. “Promise me you’ll try to be more aware of my feelings… and I’ll watch you forever from by your side.”
Ichiro was still red but he smiled up at the man and nodded shyly. Nanao kissed Ichiro gently and put his head down on Ichiro’s shoulder, enjoying their closeness. He adored Ichiro’s smile. He enjoyed hearing his beating heart.
Being in love with Dougo Ichiro was a lot of work but it was worth the time and effort. Having the feeling shared between them despite their differences…
They were happy together and that was worth everything.