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Jirou couldn’t stand it anymore- she needed to go outside, get some fresh air, burn off some of her anxious energy. He’s fine , she kept telling herself, Recovery Girl is a fucking miracle worker. If she’s put Midoriya back together after some of the shit he’s done, dumbass Kaminari will be fine. Logically, she knew that was true, but God did it suck to see her friends in the infirmary! Especially him…
Slipping into her shoes and pulling on the grossly oversized hoodie she had stolen from one of the guys, Jirou plugged one of her jacks into her phone and allowed the music to wash over her, getting lost in the beat of the drums, the rhythm of the bass, the emotion of the vocals. Whenever her own feelings became too much for her to bear, she would turn to music as a release, be it playing her worries away on her own guitar or listening to someone else sing about the emotions she couldn’t handle on her own.
Jirou checked the time before slipping out of her room. Damn! It was only 9:30 on a Friday night. The common room was bound to be packed, and honestly, she didn’t want to run into anyone who would try to comfort her. Shouldn’t be too difficult as long as she didn’t see either of the Sunshine Boys, Midoriya or Kirishima. She really did appreciate her friends, but they both had a knack for trying to “help” her through anxiety attacks, their support and attention usually only having the opposite effect of making her feel guilty for letting them worry about her, which just served to make her more anxious.
When Jirou reached the bottom floor, she paused in the stairwell, plugging her unoccupied jack into the wall to hear who all was in the common room before trying to sneak out. Shouji and Tokoyami were discussing their internships, Asui and Uraraka were comparing notes from one of their lectures that morning, and Sero was lamenting his relationship (or lack thereof) problems. Safe enough , she thought, exiting the stairwell as quickly as she could in an attempt to avoid any unsolicited conversation.
“Where’re you headin’, Jirou?” a friendly voice called. Shit. She should have realized who Sero was talking to and come up with a plan before walking out, because she found herself face to face with one of the Sunshine Boys.
“I just need some air.”
“In that rain? C’mon, Jirou, if something’s wrong you know you can talk to us!” Kirishima’s smile was warm and genuine, but Jirou could find no comfort in it. Not when she didn’t know how Kaminari was doing.
“Oi, Shitty Hair, let her do her own thing! Not everyone wants to talk about their damn feelings all the fucking time,” Bakugou called from next to Sero.
“Fine, but my offer still stands if you need it!” Kirishima stated as he climbed back on the couch with their friends.
God, Jirou owed Bakugou big for that one! A love fest from the Sunshine Boy wasn’t in her plan for the night. Then again, neither was Kaminari getting his ass handed to him by a villain at his internship. Neither was the visit to the infirmary to see her unconscious friend covered in white bandages as he slept to gain stamina for Recovery Girl’s treatment. Neither was the anxiety attack that was gripping her psyche in a chokehold, threatening to break her.
Jirou opened the door to the courtyard outside, pulling her hood over her head to protect her from the bone-chilling rain that poured around her. She didn’t mind the rain-it felt almost therapeutic, in fact. It was nice to have another distraction.
Slowly, she made her way toward the tree near the dormitories that she liked to climb when her anxiety acted up. The branches were soaked and Jirou didn’t want to visit Recovery Girl herself, so she opted for sitting beneath the behemoth of a tree, instead, pulling her knees to her chest and leaning her back against the moistened bark of the trunk. She closed her eyes and let her head fall back, water dousing her face as it made its way through the maze of branches and leaves above her. The rain seemed to be helping soothe her worries away, even if only a little bit. But that image in her head. She just couldn’t shake that thought!
Abruptly, her music stopped playing. Damn! Her phone was dead, and she was left alone with just her thoughts and the pouring rain. She could feel the dread start to claw at her chest again with the loss of her main distraction. Desperate for anything to focus on other than the thoughts swirling around her head, she listened to the pitter-patter of the rain hitting the leaves above her.
Thunder boomed off in the distance. She could see far off lightning, as well, lighting up the night sky with each powerful bolt. Jirou loved the lightning.
“Hasn’t anyone ever told you that if you’re close enough to hear thunder, you’re close enough to be struck by lightning?”
Jirou looked up to see the last face she expected staring down at her. Kaminari’s left arm was still wrapped in bandages, but otherwise he appeared to be no worse for wear. He took a seat by Jirou’s side, his right shoulder brushing against her left, causing the butterflies in her stomach to flutter out of control.
“I’m not afraid of the lightning. It’s dangerous and destructive, but also bright and beautiful and strong. It’s a natural powerhouse and a force to be reckoned with.”
“Really? ‘Cause I prefer the thunder. You can stay inside and never see the lightning, but the thunder follows you, shakes you to your core. Thunder makes its presence known and you can’t ignore it, no matter how badly the thunder wants you to.” Kaminari grinned at Jirou as he said it, as though there was more to his words than he was letting on.
“What are you doing out here, anyway? Did Recovery Girl seriously let your dumb ass go already?”
“No. She said I would be fine in a few hours, though, so when a few hours came, I left. I was getting antsy in there and I know the guys are going to give me shit about getting hurt, so I might as well get that over with now.” A bolt of lightning lit up the night sky.
“We only give you so much shit because we know your ass can take it. Besides, the guys were worried about you.” Thunder boomed around them, much louder and closer than before.
“Just the guys? You weren’t worried about me, too?” He turned to her, leaning into her shoulder with a teasing grin, but his golden eyes betrayed a bit of his disappointment. “You sure you weren’t worried at all?”
Jirou pulled her knees closer to her chest, thinking that if she could physically hold herself together, she might be able to keep it together emotionally, too. But damn she was relieved that he was alright! She kept her eyes forward, studying the lightning streaking through the sky, analyzing its shapes and patterns, and wondered how long she could keep pretending that the moisture on her face was only from the rain.
“You know the guys worry about you, too. I know you never wanna bother any of us when your anxiety acts up, but we’re your friends, dammit, and we care about you! I might not always know what to say to help out, but just say the fucking word and I’d do anything to make you happy!” Kaminari exclaimed. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, knocking off Jirou’s hood and pulling her closer. She leaned into his touch, resting her head against his chest with her hands covering her face. And with that, the floodgates were open.
“I just can’t stand seeing you get hurt like that!” she sobbed into her friend’s chest. He wrapped his arms around her tightly while lightning continued to streak across the sky.
“I know how you feel. I was ready to kill someone back when Kirishima was hurt. My friends mean everything to me, but watching them get hurt is just something we’ll have to learn how to deal with in this line of work.”
Jirou pulled away from Kaminari’s chest to stare into his stupid, beautiful gold eyes. “No, you idiot, I lost my shit because it was you! It sucks to see the others go down like that, but when it’s you, I…” She broke eye contact as her voice trailed off. Her cheeks felt hot with embarrassment at her sudden admission. Another sob escaped her mouth, but the noise was swallowed up by an explosion of thunder around them.
Kaminari placed his hand under her chin, forcing her head up until her purple eyes met somber gold ones. He studied her for a few moments before his serious look of concern faded and the corner of his mouth twitched up into a small, but meaningful, smile.
Before Jirou could even process what was happening, Kaminari’s lips were pressed against hers, and she could feel herself pressing back, unable to believe what was happening between them after wanting it for so long. She could feel sparks, both emotionally and physically from the electricity stored in the boy’s body giving her tiny shocks, causing portions of her short purple locks to stand on end. Lightning crashed around them, branching off into smaller bolts that stretched across the sky while thunder shook Jirou to her bones.
“I’ve wanted to do that since the first time I walked into class 1-A,” Kaminari confessed when they came up for air. “I never grew the balls to ask you out, though, ‘cause I never thought you would be into me.”
Jirou’s only response was to pull him back in for another kiss. They sat there in the rain, lips locked, taking each other in for a moment. The knot in Jirou’s stomach had come undone and she could feel the dread in her chest slowly melting away. He is here, he is safe, and everything is okay. She knew that a kiss wasn’t enough to fully soothe a panic attack- nothing with mental health was ever that simple- but damn it was helping to be able to physically touch him and know that everything was okay!
Kaminari stood up and pulled Jirou to her feet. “We should get going. It’s probably not a good idea for you to be out here in a thunderstorm kissing a lightning rod.”
Jirou followed him inside, looking over her shoulder to see one final bolt of lightning flash in the distance. Yeah, she definitely loved the lightning.