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Johnny loves the rain.
He loves it when he’s home, warm and dry, having a mug of hot chocolate and binge watching his favorite series. Or when he’s in bed, safe and warm under the covers, letting the patter of rain lull him to sleep. He loves it when he’s in a café, and he can stare out into the window, watching the raindrops race across the window in rivulets.
But what’s not good is. This.
The rain, when he’s out at sea, trying to catch a wave. To call it rain would be an understatement. Johnny is in the middle of a fucking storm, and he’s being tossed and turned by the waves. The rain is torrential and strong, a force that’s hitting Johnny from all angles until he doesn’t know which way the shore is.
Johnny has no idea how the weather got this bad.
When he set out, the horizon was flat, the sky was a cloudless blue, and the weather man on the TV said it would be sunny way until sunset, and that it probably wouldn’t rain in the evening either.
Where did the other surfers even go?
In his quest to find the one wave, Johnny hadn’t seen the sky darkening, or how far he’d gone out to sea, that even the jet skis didn’t reach.
Normally, he isn’t afraid of the water. Johnny is a good fucking swimmer. He was a lifeguard at one point and he can swim three hundred yards, continuously. At least, when the water stayed still.
But now, it’s alive. He can’t even manage to keep his head up. There’s just green, blue, darkness everywhere. The clouds are blocking most of the light, and Johnny really should have thought this through. The surfboard is ripped from his grip, and Johnny opens his mouth in surprise. Which he shouldn’t have done, because a wave catches him in the face, and he swallows a lot of water. He would cough it out, but he can’t because he’s underwater, he can’t breathe. He swallows it, and he can’t even hear the roaring of the water anymore.
At least it’s peaceful, down under.
That’s a weird last thought to have, he thinks.
Shouldn’t he think of his parents? His siblings? His friends?
But now all he can think is how he’s never going to see the sun again. How he hasn’t lived at all, hasn’t even graduated, will never write that book. He’ll never even have children. All because he was consumed in living the reckless life he built, surfing, going on motorbikes, climbing mountains, heck he’d even skydived once. And he thought that meant living. He thought life was an adventure, living on the edge, trying to die.
But now that he’s dying, he finds that he wishes he’d thought about his actions a little more.
He’s wondering whether or not they’ll ever find his body, or if his corpse will just be ripped apart by the tremendous waves, when he breaks the surface of the water again. He thinks he was just tossed for a moment, only to be pulled back under, but the roaring of the waves doesn’t stop, and what he thought was an insistent force at his back is actually an arm, pulling him along.
Is it another surfer? A fisherman out at sea? Hopefully, one who hasn’t lost their boat in this maelstrom.
Johnny is able to cough out most of the water before he’s plunged down again, but this time, the person pulls him along, an anchor in the middle of the storm. Johnny lets himself be pulled along, closing his eyes, and breathing whenever he has the opportunity.
He doesn’t know how long the stranger swims with him in tow, but Johnny figures he must have passed out at one point because when he wakes up, he’s lying on his back on the hard ground? Sand? But he also can’t move because there’s a heavy weight on his chest, forcing his heart to beat.
When his eyes focus, he’s stunned for a second because he’s looking up at the most beautiful person he’s ever seen in his life. He takes in his rescuer’s porcelain skin, angular face, and silvery hair, before he’s coughing violently, and for a second he thinks he’s drowning again. The stranger rolls him on his stomach and thumps his back forcefully, until he coughs out all the water he’s swallowed, and more.
He stays still for a second. “Thank y-“ he croaks, but the words die on his tongue when he looks up.
Because the man – he realizes now, it’s a man, with his flat chest and broad but thin shoulders – isn’t entirely a man. After his torso, below his navel, he’s… a fish. He’s scaly and large and blue, turning green nearer his translucent fin-like tail.
Johnny thinks he might be hallucinating from almost drowning so he reaches out to touch him, and he gets a hint of scale before the man – no, the mermaid – flops away, baring his teeth. Johnny notices that his canine teeth are shaped like a shark’s.
“Don’t! Touch my scales,” he hisses.
“I’m sorry!” Johnny throws up his arms, sufficiently terrified. He’s positive the guy could rip him to shreds.
“Turn around, I’m gonna change.”
“Change?” he asks weakly, but does as he’s asked.
When he looks again, the long tail is gone, replaced by two legs and a –
“What, you don’t have a dick?” he snaps at him.
Johnny looks down, chastised.
The stranger holds out his hand to him. “Can you stand?”
Johnny tries. He would have fallen to his knees if the guy hadn’t caught him by the armpits. He hauls one of Johnny’s arms behind his neck, and they walk awkwardly towards town.
“I’m Johnny, by the way,” he says over the sound of the rain. “What’s your name?”
“Taeyong,” the mermaid answers, looking with distrust at the line of houses and stores near the beach.
He heads towards it determinedly.
The weather hasn’t cleared; the wind is so strong that the raindrops feel sharp when they land on Johnny’s skin. He leans on the mermaid heavily, and his legs don’t seem weaker than that of a human’s.
There’s no one on the road when they get there. Looks like every sane being had taken shelter in their hotels and houses. Johnny wonders if there areis other surfers stuck out there in the storm. He’s lucky, he knows. What are the chances a mythical creature finds you just when you’re a few seconds from death?
“Where do you live?” Taeyong asks.
“Over there,” he says, indicating the squat white building that is his home for the summer.
“Hi, how may I hel-“ Yuta, the hotel owner and Johnny’s friend, is momentarily stunned. “Jesus Christ, Johnny, what happened to you?”
“Caught out there. Almost drowned.”
“Fuck,” he mutters. “You must be so thirsty. Xuxi!” he yells the name.
“It’s Lucas!” Lucas, who works for Johnny, ogles Taeyong with huge eyes from behind the receptionist’s desk. “Bring this man some water. He almost drowned!” Yuta orders him.
“It’s fine, Yuta. I have lots of water up in my room.”
“You sure? Want me to help?”
“Um,” Johnny hesitates, looking up at Taeyong.
Taeyong clears his throat. “It’s fine, I’ll take him up there.”
“Here, have an extra key,” he says, rummaging behind the desk.
Yuta gives them the key and rushes to hold the elevator doors open while Taeyong assists Johnny in. “Thanks for saving him.”
“This is where you live?” Taeyong asks when the door closes behind them. “That’s weird.”
“What?” Johnny asks, before remembering. Of fucking course. Mermaid.
“No, this is an elevator. It just takes us up to my room.”
“Humans are so weird. You and your tall structures you can’t even climb.”
They get to the third floor and it’s blessedly just in front of the elevator.
“Christ,” Johnny says, sinking gratefully into the couch. He’s cupping the glass of water that Taeyong had handed him after specific instructions on how to use the fridge. He must have looked so pitiful that Taeyong sighed and decided to stay until he got better.
Taeyong, who just came back from Johnny’s bedroom after instructions on how to get clothed, hovers uncertainly before sitting next to Johnny on the couch.
“Seriously, thanks for saving my life,” Johnny says, after several gulps of water.
“Sure,” Taeyong says quietly.
“I’m just really curious,” he broaches the subject with caution.
Taeyong sighs, like he knew this was coming. “Yes, I’m what you humans would call a ‘mermaid’.”
“How do you even speak the same language as us?”
“I’ve been living on land for some time. Three years, in your measure of time.”
“Are there others like you living among us?”
Taeyong shakes his head. “Not that I know of. I was just. Lost.”
“Lost?”
“Yes, I was foolish. I was really curious about the outside world, you know? In our world, you humans used to be just stories. Until the time came when you guys pushed deeper into the ocean and drove us down.”
Johnny shudders. He remembers all the documentaries he’s ever watched of the deepest part of the ocean. Dark waters and weird, glowing fish. Giant squids. “Isn’t it dark down there?”
“It is,” he says sadly. “I just wanted to see the light, you know? But I was caught by some humans with nets.”
“Fishermen?”
Taeyong shudders. “It was horrible.”
Johnny tries to imagine it, but he can’t even think of anyone trying to catch a mermaid. They’re so beautiful. At least, Taeyong is. He’s sitting there, positively glowing, on Johnny’s couch. It’s weird.
“I’m sorry, you don’t have to tell me?”
“No, it’s okay. I escaped from the fishermen by ripping the net open with my teeth. I swam back down, before I realized I was lost. I must have been on that boat longer than I thought. The waters weren’t the same. It was way more shallow than I thought water could be, and I was near the shore.”
“God,” Johnny whispers. “That’s terrible.” He’s feeling really sleepy. Fighting the water really took a toll on him.
“I just decided to put my base here on land. I have a hut near somewhere out to sea, where it’s easy to swim from whenever I want to look for home. But aside from selling the occasional fish to the peddlers and sometimes buying fruits, I’ve stayed away from the humans. You people are noisy though,” he says with disdain. “Before I knew it, I’d learned your language. It’s surprisingly easy, compared to-“ he makes an undecipherable sound at the back of his throat.
“What’s that?” Johnny asks. His eyelids are drooping.
“Our language,” Taeyong says gently. “It’s okay, you can sleep.”
“You can keep talking. It’s nice. Your voice is nice.”
Is Taeyong blushing? That looks good on him.
“I still look for my home, sometimes,” he sighs. Johnny closes his eyes.
“But the ocean is so vast, even for us.”
In the next few days that Johnny recovers from drowning, the storm persists. It drums against the windows, loud and insistent. Taeyong’s nice enough to venture downstairs to buy Johnny food and anything he needs. Johnny is content to just rest in his room, and to wrap his head around the fact that Taeyong’s a mermaid.
Taeyong sleeps in the tub.
He disappears for hours, sometimes. Johnny knows because he sometimes wakes up to an empty room. He figures Taeyong probably goes back to the sea to change back to his natural form. He has to, right?
But he always comes back.
One day, the rain subsides until it’s just a light drizzle against the windows. The sun is hiding just behind the clouds, and Johnny can feel summer coming back.
Taeyong comes back with whatever Yuta had at downstairs’ breakfast buffet.
“Yuta just asked if I was your boyfriend?” he asks, toeing off his slippers.
Johnny backtracks. “And what did you say?”
“I asked him what it meant.” Taeyong’s eyebrows are furrowed. “I still don’t get it.”
Johnny doesn’t know how to explain it, or if he even wants to. It’s easy between them. Taeyong is a good? Companion? Friend? He can’t believe he feels more at ease around someone of a different species than he ever did with other people.
“He’s asking if we’re… dating?”
“What’s that?” He sits across Johnny from the table, who’s unearthing toast, sausage, and eggs from the paper bag Taeyong brought.
“You know, when two people love each other and they live together?”
“Oh, like a family?”
“Not just as family.” Johnny slices the sausage. He’s given up on asking Taeyong if he wants to eat, after he’d explained to him that he doesn’t eat human food, aside from fruits.
“Like your mom and dad,” Johnny continues, trying to explain. He’s staring at his plate intently.
Taeyong makes a surprised noise. “He’s asking if we’re mating?”
Johnny chokes on his sausage. “How do mermaids even?”
He looks up to find that Taeyong is red. Cute.
“Well,” he starts slowly. “Since there are two parts of us. We can either mate as fish or as humans.”
“Mating as fish would mean the mermaid would be born as an egg.” He gains momentum as he explains to Johnny. “And the child would have more fish-like qualities.”
“Mating as fish isn’t a big deal, and you can do it with many other mermaids. If they want to, that is.”
“But it’s mating as humans that’s really a big deal. You’re supposed to do it with just one person? Is that what being a boyfriend means?” He’s blushing again and Johnny really wants to pinch his cheeks, or something.
“Kind of,” Johnny says. “Usually, people who have children go through this whole ceremony called marriage. Being the boyfriend or girlfriend is the stage before that.”
“Oh. Um. I.” Taeyong is bright, bright red. It’s really endearing, and gives Johnny feelings in his chest.
“Like other. Mermen.”
“Well, for us. It’s unusual? For a boy mermaid. To like other boy mermaids. Or girl-maids to like other girls, ha ha.”
Johnny suddenly feels like laughing. “So you’re a gay mermaid. Gaymaid. Mergay. Whatever.”
“Gaymaid. I think I can roll with that.” Taeyong seems less embarrassed.
“I’m…” Johnny has no idea why he’s suddenly discussing his sexuality with a mermaid. “Bi. Which is what you call people who like both girls and guys.”
“Oh! I know someone like that too. Weird.”
“Not being bi, I mean!” Taeyong clarifies. “Weird how similar it is, for humans and mermaids.”
“So weird.” Johnny scarfs down the rest of his meal.
“Wanna go outside?” He asks.
Taeyong beams, and Johnny is momentarily dazzled. “I thought you’d never ask.”
The sun finally breaks through the clouds when they walk along the shore. The waters are the same blue Johnny remembers, as if the storm that almost took Johnny’s life is just an afterthought.
Johnny lies down on the sand and closes his eyes, listening to the waves and trying to calm down. His heart is hammering in his chest and he can’t believe he’s this scared of something that used to make him feel so free.
Taeyong plops down beside him. The wind tousles his hair as he looks wistfully at the horizon.
Johnny’s chest eases a little bit.
“It’s so beautiful up here,” Taeyong says with a sigh. “And it’s you humans who get to enjoy the good things.”
“Gosh, I’m sorry,” Johnny says. He knows what Taeyong’s getting at. Johnny has seen him wrinkling his nose at plastic.
“So many creatures down there are dying. Mermaids are in hiding.” He takes a deep breath. “And the ones who are killing us are out here. In the sun.”
“I’m sorry,” Johnny says sincerely. He doesn’t know what else to say, because no matter what he does, he knows he’s a part of it too. Humans are toxic to the world.
Taeyong softens. “You’re not so bad.”
“Do you want to go back there?”
“Just to see my friends and family again. But I think I like living here more.”
“I’m sorry, I wish you could be happy.”
“I am happy right now,” he says simply.
Then, he gets a light in his eyes. “You know what would make me happier?”
Johnny would do anything to wipe that sad look from Taeyong’s face.
“Swim with me.”
They find a secluded area on the beach so Taeyong can remove his clothes.
Johnny toes at the water with apprehension. Calm down Johnny, it’s not storming.
“Come on!” Taeyong says, jumping into the water. He’s still in human form and Johnny tries not to stare.
He figures he can’t be afraid of the water forever, so does what he does best, swallowing down his fear and facing the unknown.
The water is cold, but Taeyong’s hand in his is warm. Johnny’s fear dissipates.
They swim until it’s deep enough that Johnny’s feet can’t reach the sand.
Then, Taeyong changes.
It’s magnificent, really. It’s like watching a flower bloom, except this time, it’s scales, growing on skin. The transformation starts from below his navel, then down his closed legs, covering his feet in glittering scales that look like jewels under the clear water.
Taeyong looks livelier after transforming. He splashes around happily, hand still in Johnny’s.
He gives Johnny one of those dazzling grins that brings out his canines. It’s cute.
Just as he has that thought, Taeyong suddenly speeds up, tale swishing against the water. It’s like riding a speedboat, except you’re in the water, trying to hold on to the boat. But Taeyong doesn’t let go.
A few minutes later, Taeyong slows down. “Look!” he says happily, gesturing around them.
Johnny’s mouth drops.
The water is clear and shallow, and there’s a coral ecosystem just beneath them.
Droves of colorful fish swim past them, brushing lightly against their bodies. He holds on to Taeyong, who swims slowly, allowing him to watch the resplendent corals teeming with life.
There’s movement wherever he looks – a surgeonfish picking the corals for algae, a crab scuttling along, rainbowfish hiding under a coral, a bright red sea urchin expanding, and the schools of fish swimming past him.
“This is amazing! How come no one knows about this spot? I don’t even need to dive. It’s literally just beneath us.”
Taeyong scoffs, but he looks happy about Johnny’s reaction. “You humans think you know everything, but there are still so many unexplored secrets in the ocean like this!”
He looks up to find Taeyong watching him with clear, bright eyes and he’s reminded that the real enigma is right there, holding his hand.
He fits so well against everything – the corals, the fish, the sun – but he’s the brightest, of them all. It breaks his heart to think that there are others like him, who’ll never swim as freely in their natural habitat.
They watch the corals some more, until Johnny’s head hurts and his throat is parched.
“Come, I’ll take you to my hut.”
Taeyong’s hut turns out to be on a small island, a fifteen-minute swim away, at least at Taeyong’s speed.
“The island almost disappears at high tide, except for this spot,” Taeyong explains, pointing at where a hut made of driftwood and twine is standing, clustered against a single coconut tree.
Taeyong opens the door and Johnny finds that it’s mercilessly dry inside. The walls and the ceiling are lined with a kind of woven mat. It’s small, but both of them could lie down comfortably inside. One corner has a neat pile of materials – a knife, some wood, more twine, sticks and shells. Aside from a couple more mats, there’s not much else.
Taeyong goes outside and comes back with two coconuts that he hacks at with the knife.
They sit down near the shore – it’s low tide, so there’s a small strip of beach all to themselves. Johnny takes a sip of coconut juice – okay, it’s kinda heavy – but it’s so good.
“I could live like this.”
“Yeah sure, but then you’ll go hungry at some point and crave your cooked meals and your warm bed.”
“True.”
“Hey, I’m going to change again,” Taeyong warns. He’d changed into a man earlier, when they’d gone to the hut but Johnny figures he likes it better as a mermaid.
He splashes around a bit, before resting beside Johnny on the shore. He lies down beside him, facing up and letting his tail swish around in the waves.
Johnny’s struck, for the nth time, at how beautiful Taeyong is.
“You’re so beautiful,” he blurts out.
There it is, that telltale blush on Taeyong’s cheeks whenever Johnny compliments him.
He reaches out to touch Taeyong’s cheek with the back of his hand.
Taeyong stills, tail midway in the air, but he doesn’t push him away.
They look at each other, neither of them breathing.
Taeyong’s eyes are as unfathomable as a stormy ocean.
He touches Johnny’s hand on his cheek, before gently prodding it off him.
Johnny’s heart sinks, but Taeyong leans up and places a kiss on his cheek – it’s light, smooth, barely there.
“I think you’re beautiful too.”
They swim back to land just as the sun is setting, and Johnny is reminded of when he used to surf. It’s always been a pretty sight – the sky turning gold and orange and pink, the waters reflecting it, and the shadows emerging from the land. This time, he doesn’t have a board, but he holds onto Taeyong, whose tight grip he’d come to trust in the past few days.
“So, um, Yuta’s holding a bonfire tonight,” he says, when they reach the shore. Johnny stares at the sand, sure that Taeyong’s going to outright reject him.
“What’s a bonfire?”
“You’ll see, if you come.”
“Huh,” Taeyong says wistfully. “Are there lots of people coming?”
“Yeah, you don’t have to-“
“I’ll go,” Taeyong says easily, surprising Johnny.
“Oh thank god,” Johnny says. “I almost thought you wouldn’t come because of all the humans,” he teases.
Taeyong pouts and crosses his arms. “Well since you aren’t so bad, I’ll give the others a chance.”
“You know what, if I’m your standard, you’re going to be pretty disappointed in the others.”
Taeyong laughs. It’s an undignified snort, followed by loud wheezes as his body is racked with laughter.
Johnny is so surprised that Taeyong could ever produce an unattractive (he’s still attracted) sound, that he joins him.
They laugh, Johnny shoves Taeyong a little too hard, they laugh harder, and Taeyong tries to shove him back.
It’s one of those moments Johnny just wants to keep forever.
The fire is cackling merrily when they join the small group huddled by the fire.
Johnny introduces Taeyong, and everyone welcomes him warmly.
They talk about nothing, laugh, and listen to the music until the sky overhead is filled with stars.
“Okay, that is not water. What the fuck is that?” Taeyong sputters. Johnny had tried to warn him, but he didn’t listen.
“You’ve never had beer?” Mark asks, brow crinkling.
“Taeyong had strict parents,” Johnny explains.
“Um, yeah, I did!” Taeyong says, going along.
Mark shrugs and goes back to his drink, chatting with Lucas about something.
Taeyong leans against Johnny, and he looks at him with concern. How does alcohol affect mermaids?
“You okay?” he asks. The fire illuminates him, lending a soft look to Taeyong’s face.
“Yeah. It’s just warm.” He leans further against Johnny, trying to find a comfortable position.
Johnny extends his arm, and Taeyong snuggles happily against him.
“This is nice,” he mutters, eyes closing softly.
Johnny smiles fondly and ruffles his hair.
“Tell me if you want to go back.”
Taeyong makes a noise of dissent. “I want to stay here forever.”
Johnny chuckles. “You’re cute.”
Taeyong cracks an eye open. “There you go again, slipping compliments into the conversation as if I don’t notice them.”
“Oh? I didn’t realize you noticed,” Johnny says with mock surprise. “You’re beautiful,” he whispers into his ear.
He’s close.
Taeyong’s so close he can see as the blush slowly creep into his face.
“You’re stunning.” He kisses Taeyong’s forehead.
Taeyong reaches up to mock-slap him in the face, but keeps his hand there.
Taeyong’s eyes reflect the fire, and the stars, and the sea.
“Y’ALL,” Lucas says loudly. “Get a room!”
“Xuxi!” Yuta admonishes. “They were having a moment.”
They look up to find everyone’s eyes on them. Taeyong shrinks back against Johnny, but Johnny keeps his arm around him.
Johnny chuckles. “It’s okay. We were going back anyway.”
“Going back?” Lucas asks suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows.
“Let them live, man,” Mark says.
They stand up and say their goodbyes.
“Make sure you show your face again. Just because you’re happily in love doesn’t mean you can forget your friends!” Yuta yells at them as they leave.
“Happily in love,” Taeyong mutters on their way back.
“Are we in love?” He asks, facing Johnny.
Johnny looks at him, his earnest eyes, his silvery hair in the moonlight, and finds that he can’t lie.
“I think so,” he whispers.
“That’s good enough, I suppose.”
He leans up on his toes and kisses Johnny chastely on the lips. Again, it’s warm and smooth. Johnny thinks he might burst from his feelings.
He’s never been in love - he doesn’t know if this is love at all. But when he closes his eyes, he still sees Taeyong’s burning eyes. And he knows.
He’s known since he saw Taeyong leaning down on him when he regained consciousness, since Taeyong brought him food everyday, and held his hand when he was scared.
But what he doesn’t know is how long they’ll last - Johnny has to go back to uni eventually, and Taeyong obviously doesn’t belong on land. He doesn’t know if that’s enough to break them apart, but for now he knows that this is right.
They go back to his room, and for the first time, Taeyong sleeps beside him instead of in the tub.
“Don’t you need to be in the water to sleep?”
“No, it’s just more comfortable, usually,” he murmurs sleepily against Johnny’s chest.
“Usually.”
“Yes, but this is way nicer.”
“Sleeping in the sea sounds scary. And lonely.”
“It was,” Taeyong admits looking up at him. He traces Johnny’s jawline with his fingers.
“I was really lonely,” he says lightly, but Johnny feels his fingers tremble. He takes them into his hands and squeezes.
“Until you came along.”
Johnny’s happy, but there’s a feeling of foreboding he can’t quite shake off.
They go out the next day, and he tries surfing again while Taeyong watches.
He tries to find a wave, but the waters are regrettably still. He just paddles along on his new board for thirty minutes before Taeyong takes pity on him.
“Come here, there’s bigger waves to the west.”
“How do you know that?”
“Mermaid’s instinct.”
Taeyong, after changing into a mermaid, holds onto the back of Johnny’s board and propels.
“Shit!” Johnny yells, almost falling off his board. He grips the sides tightly as they speed along.
“Could you warn me next time you do that?”
Taeyong just laughs at him, shaking the board a little and almost throwing Johnny off.
“I swear!”
“Are you sure this is the spot?” he asks dubiously when Taeyong stops. Maybe he’s just taking a break. The waters look as unmovable as ever.
“Yes, just trust me.”
Taeyong turns out to be right, of course. Just as Johnny’s about to give up in exasperation, the water level rises and he knows it’s the perfect spot. He feels the water surging under him, gaining momentum, before it rises and he’s lifted into the crest of it. He rides it out, laughing in excitement as he surfs for the first time that day.
Taeyong watches him with amusement. “Now are you ready for some real surfing?”
“What?”
“I brought you here for that,” he says, pointing behind Johnny.
Johnny looks behind him and pales. Because that wave is a at least twenty feet – no, it’s probably twice that – and only the craziest big wave surfers would even think of –
His board starts moving, as Taeyong propels him towards the wall of water.
“Taeyong, I don’t really think this is a good idea!”
But he feels his board shaking with Taeyong’s laughter and he knows he’s going to have to.
Before he’s even braced himself, Taeyong is taking him to the middle of it. He watches, entranced, as Taeyong fearlessly and gracefully swims towards the towering wall. And then he’s being pulled right into it, and he’s on top of it, on top of the biggest wave he’s ever seen outside of surfing documentaries.
It feels incredible – he’s going down it, breaking it, and he feels like the king of the ocean, the wave bowing down for him.
Then, he’s in the eye of it – and he’s surrounded by a circle of water. For a moment, it’s all around him – the light blue-green canopy of water over his head, the dark blue under his board and behind him.
This is it, the sight he’s never seen before.
Then he sees someone waving at him – it’s probably Taeyong – wait that is not Taeyong, and it’s creepy as fuck, what the hell. He would have fallen off his board if his feet weren’t secured to it, but the wave finally washes over him, and someone – he knows it must be Taeyong – steadies his board and pushes him until he’s out of the water.
“Okay, that was great and all but I saw something-“ before he realizes that he’s talking to no one, because Taeyong is talking animatedly with a bunch of people Johnny’s never seen before. They’re in the middle of the sea, for fuck’s sakes.
“Hey, Johnny!” Taeyong calls out. He’s more excited than Johnny’s ever seen him – eyes bright and shining, like swirling sun and water. Johnny can’t help it, he’s pulled along.
He goes to where Taeyong and his friends are – his mermaid friends, he realizes, when he sees fins of distinct colors peeking occasionally from under the water. It’s surreal.
“Hey,” he greets them nervously.
“Hi!” The small one says, and Johnny realizes this is the kid who waved at him while he was surfing. He swims around Johnny in a circle, laughing and kicking. His fin doesn’t look like a fish’s, like the others’. He looks like he’s half albino dolphin. He sure sounds like a dolphin when he laughs. It’s so cute, but also so disconcerting.
Taeyong turns to him with a grin. “They found me!”
He’s happy for Taeyong, of course he is. “That’s great, honey!”
“This is Jaehyun –“ he says, pointing at another beautiful mermaid right beside him. Jaehyun waves at him with a dimpled smile.
“That’s Winwin.” Taeyong points at another startlingly pretty boy to the other side of Johnny. “And that’s Chenle,” He says, referring to the half-dolphin still swimming around him happily.
Jaehyun says something to Taeyong in a gargling language – merespeak, probably – and Taeyong nods.
“Let’s go back to my hut to talk?”
They swim with Taeyong in the lead and Chenle happily tugging Johnny and his surfboard along.
He’d tried to talking to him but apparently Chenle doesn’t speak English. None of them do, but he’s been learning basic words like “hi!” and how to introduce himself, “I’m Chenle!”
They reach the hut, and Johnny makes coconut juice for everyone. Jaehyun accepts his with a smile. He’s glad that none of them treat him with hostility, even though he’s part of the race that’s forcing mermaids into hiding and polluting the ocean without abandon.
Instead, they talk in happy, excited tones. Jaehyun and Taeyong talk animatedly, Chenle runs around as a human on the small strip of beach, and Winwin basks in the sun – laying sprawled out on the beach, his beautiful pale pink fin fanned out on the sand.
It’s a sight to behold. They’re inhumanly beautiful – not just their glittering fins that change color in the sun – but their faces and their torsos look sculpted, their skin almost translucent and glowing.
Johnny knows he’s incredibly lucky. Who else alive has seen something like this? Something out of a painting, a fairytale.
They’re almost painfully beautiful, and Johnny knows he doesn’t belong. What is this, The Little Mermaid? He’s not a fucking prince.
Taeyong catches his eyes and beckons him over.
“So Jaehyun told me they rode a swell here,” he says. He looks excited again, the sun shining in his eyes. Johnny wants to reach over and kiss him. And hold him forever.
“A swell?”
“A wave that travels a long distance – it’s formed by different things, like wind, weather and tide patterns over time. So it only took them half a day.”
“But how did they know you’d be here?”
“That’s the thing. They didn’t!” he says happily. “We were just in the right place at the right time. They were riding the wave that you surfed.”
“They say it’s just a three-day swim from here,” he says, and Johnny’s heart does an odd little thump.
This is where all mermaid stories come to an end – with the separation of the land and the sea, with the differences between the human and the mermaid.
Johnny tries to smile. “That’s good, isn’t it?”
“It is!” He’s never seen Taeyong this happy. Johnny is happy for him, but he still feels unwell.
“Are you going back with them?” he thinks his voice catches at the end.
Taeyong mellows a little. “Yes.”
“I have to,” he whispers.
He doesn’t ask if he’s coming back, or when. He knows he can’t ask that of Taeyong.
Taeyong, who belongs to the sea.
Taeyong, whom Johnny, a filthy human, doesn’t deserve.
Taeyong, who should always be free and happy.
He asks the dreaded question. “When are you going?”
Taeyong blinks. His smile is gone, replaced by a faraway look in his eyes. “When the sun sets and the tide rises, we’ll go.” He says it softly, and it sounds like sad poetry to Johnny.
It’s okay.
He just wishes they hadn’t wasted time. Skirting around each other’s feelings. He wishes they’d made the most of their days, instead of wasting it away inside his room.
He didn’t know it would end so soon.
And now he only has a few hours.
“We still have to take you back to land,” Taeyong mutters. He blinks and his eyes are shining tide pools.
“I’ll… try going back on my own.”
“You know you can’t.” He’s right. Johnny is just a burden, that’s what he is. Always having to be saved, pulled along. He doesn’t belong in the sea.
“We can wait a few more hours,” Taeyong says quietly. And then his tears spill.
Mermaid’s tears.
Johnny takes Taeyong’s face into his hands and tries to wipe them away. “It’s okay.”
He draws Taeyong to him. They lie on the sand, Johnny on his back, and Taeyong hugging him and sniffling. He traces his hand down Taeyong’s spine soothingly, down to his back. He traces the part where his skin ends and the scales begin and tries to remember the feeling.
Taeyong’s scales are softer than they look, and cold. They feel foreign to Johnny, but he decides he doesn’t dislike it.
Next time, he’ll try sleeping with him in the tub.
Johnny’s breath catches when he realizes there is no next time, and Johnny’s tub will always feel empty, and the sea will never be the same again, without Taeyong pulling him along and showing him its wonderful secrets.
Taeyong looks up at him through his tears, and Johnny cups his face and kisses him like he never has before. It’s deep, and Taeyong tastes salty from the sea and their tears.
Johnny doesn’t know how long they stay like that, a tangle of limbs and fins, savoring their last moments together.
“I’ll come back,” Taeyong says determinedly, at one point. The sun is dangerously low in the sky.
“But.” The words die on Johnny’s tongue, but he knows it needs to be said. “But I might not be here when you come back.”
“What do you mean?” Taeyong asks, eyes wide.
“I don’t really live near the sea. I live further in the land.”
“Oh,” Taeyong mouths.
“I’ll still come back.”
Johnny doesn’t doubt him.
They hear a soft whisper – merespeak. It’s Winwin, patting Taeyong gently.
“We have to go,” Taeyong tells Johnny.
They get up silently. The sun is low and he knows it’s almost sunset.
The others stay behind on the island. They’ll wait for Taeyong to get back after taking Johnny back to land.
They wave at him and look at him and Taeyong with sad, sympathetic eyes. Chenle looks like he has tears in his eyes too.
He rides his board, and Taeyong swims beside him. He’s slower this time.
They reach the shore, and Taeyong doesn’t change back anymore.
“I’ll come back,” he mouths.
But he’s gone as quickly as he came into Johnny’s life.
Johnny goes back to uni.
He’s surprised at how normal it all seems - his dorm room and its light blue walls, his futon, his stack of books in the corner.
He doesn’t feel any different. No, that’s wrong. He just doesn’t feel, period. Johnny feels numb, if not empty. Days pass uneventfully, and he’s caught in the work, and everyday things like going to the gym and seeing his friends.
He’s in the middle of calculus when his phone vibrates like crazy. The kid sitting in the row in front glares back at him.
He’s about to switch it off, but it could be an emergency.
He glances and sees a bunch of messages from Nakamoto Yuta. Johnny jolts in his seat.
Yuta: Um, your boyfriend is here.
Yuta: Why is he always naked?
Yuta: Sorry, i really didn’t mean to stare. I’m not staring, I swear.
Yuta: Oh did I mention he brought a bunch of other. Pretty boys.
Yuta: don’t worry i brought them clothes.
Yuta: are u coming?
Is he coming? Who is he fucking kidding?
The best thing that’s ever happened to him is back. Sometimes, you just have to do it. Chase what you love. You’re lucky if whatever you love chases after you instead.
It’s just a three-hour drive away, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t see Taeyong ever again.
He shoots a quick reply to Yuta before he’s out of his seat, out of the classroom and jogging across campus to his car. He drives like a madman – racing across the freeway at a hundred miles per hour and taking almost half the time it usually does.
He doesn’t even think about the classes he’s going to miss. He can retake classes. Taeyong, he could lose forever.
He doesn’t really think of what he’s going to say until he’s entering the building.
But when he sees him again, and Taeyong launches himself at Johnny, he knows it was wrong to worry. Taeyong is a warm, familiar weight against Johnny and it feels like he never left, although it’s been weeks.
“I’m never letting you go again,” Taeyong breathes against him. “Sorry, it was just something I had to do.”
They kiss.
It doesn’t last as long as Johnny wants to because of the hollering and hooting.
“Yeah! Let’s get it on!” Lucas yells, clapping.
“I think I’m going to cry,” Mark says.
“I’m so happy for you,” Yuta declares, clapping along with Lucas.
There are other sounds of approval too – Taeyong’s mermaid friends are gathered in the hotel lobby, and there are more of them than Johnny remembers. They look happy for him and Taeyong.
“I think this calls for-“ Yuta pauses until everyone is silent. “A party!” he announces, to the surrounding humans’ delight.
It doesn’t take Yuta long to set up. They lounge around by the pool, and drinks and food are served.
Some of the mermaids are talking animatedly, while the younger ones run around chaotically.
“They’re talking in Korean, I think,” Jisung, one of the kids from town who appeared as soon as there was word of a party, theorizes.
“That doesn’t sound Korean. Is it Chinese?” Mark asks.
“I’m Chinese,” Yukhei hisses. “That is not Chinese.”
Johnny giggles, but doesn’t comment.
“Hi!” Chenle greets them, before jumping into the pool, clothes and all. At least he doesn’t change into a mermaid.
The other young mermaids (in human form) follow soon after. Johnny tries to recall all their names – Haechan, Renjun, and Jaemin, to name the young ones.
They run and play, obviously elated at the sunlight.
It warms Johnny’s heart.
“Hey,” Taeyong greets, sitting beside Johnny and holding his hand.
They’re silent for a moment, the only sounds in the background those of the kids’ playing.
“Do you think I did the right thing?” Taeyong says uncertainly.
“I’m sure you did. I mean, look at them.” Johnny looks at Taeyong. “Do you think they would’ve been able to run around like that, where you used to live?”
Taeyong sighs. “But it’s so dangerous. What if we get caught?”
“It’s fine. You can stop worrying for a second.” He flicks Taeyong between the eyebrows affectionately.
“Hey, what was that for?”
“To remind you not to worry.”
“But-“
“No buts. You got them here, we’ll figure it out together.”
“But-“
“Nope.”
“Shut up.”
“I love you.”
Taeyong gasps. “That means a lot in the mermaid world!”
“It means a lot to us too.”
Taeyong pushes him playfully. “You can’t just! Say that.”
“I love you,” Johnny repeats with a smile.
He doesn’t care if Taeyong can’t say it back now. He’s just happy he can and that he found the one person he can actually say it to, and mean it.
Taeyong tackles him with surprising strength, until they both fall into the pool, laughing and giggling while the kids splash them with more water.
“I love you too,” Taeyong whispers, and his eyes reflect the world back at Johnny.