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She could tell he was having a hard time adjusting to being back and living a normal life again. It was very similar to what she had seen when he came back from taking down the criminal network Moriarty had left behind. She remembered it had been little things where he was getting used to not being in life or death situations. The first time she had been patient when he would do or say something that concerned her and then when the moment was over she'd offer to let him talk, if he wanted. It had seemed to work out well for the two of them that time, and she hoped the same thing would happen again this time.
It had been a week since he'd come home and this morning he had said he would make breakfast for them. She had gone about making coffee for him, and as she watched he stopped what he was doing and just stood there, lost in thought. After a moment she moved away from her part of the counter and put a hand on his arm. “Sherlock?” she asked quietly. “Are you all right?”
“I think I am going to get very tired of people asking that question,” he said with a sigh, setting down the knife.
“Probably,” she said quietly. “I suppose you'll even get tired of me asking it.”
“Maybe,” he admitted. “But I know you ask because you love me, and you care.” He glanced over at her and gave her a small grin. “At least I can talk to you about it. I got lost in my thoughts when John was over and I couldn't tell him what was on my mind because I can't tell him anything about what I did. I really hate that my brother put me in this position.”
“I know,” she said. “But you can always talk to me. I'll make sure I'm available, as long as you need me to be. You did that with me, remember? Now it's my turn to do that for you.”
He looked over at her intently. “I remember when you were sick, before Christmas. You said I always ended up taking care of you, and I said something about one day you would need to take care of me. I think that might be what I need right now.”
“I’ll make sure I can take care of you, then,” she said. “How much sleep are you getting?”
“Four to six hours a night, which isn't much but is still more than I got before I came home. I find I sleep better with you next to me, but it's still hard to come by.”
“And I noticed you aren't eating as much,” she said. “You seem to be giving me more of the food when it's something one of us is cooking, and when we go out to eat you don't finish any meal you order.” She reached up and touched his face. “I worry about you. I'm worried I won't know how to help you cope with all of this again.”
“I think last time it took longer to go back to normal because I spent longer living that life. I'm hoping I can move on sooner this time. And not being alone will help.”
“I'll try my best not to smother you,” she said with a smile. Then she moved her hand and wrapped her arms around him. After a moment he held her close and rested his chin on top of her head. She knew he needed this more than anything else right now, just to be close to her. He found reasons to be close to her all the time, and she didn't mind most of the time because honestly, she had missed it so much while he was gone. She just worried that he wouldn't let her have room to breathe while he was coping with everything.
He ran a hand up and down her back for a moment. “Let's go away somewhere,” he said quietly.
“Where?” she asked, pulling away.
“I don't know,” he said after a moment's thought. “We don't need to leave the country, but I don't think I'm as ready to be back in London as I thought I would be.”
“Do you want to go back to America?” she asked.
He shook his head. “Not really. At least, not to New York. I don't know if I'll ever want to go back to New York again.”
She thought for a moment. “We could always go to another country. Someplace drastically different from here. Is there any place you've particularly wanted to go?”
He thought for a few more minutes this time. “I spent a little time in Greece when I was getting rid of Moriarty's network. I had wondered what it would be like to go there as a tourist. Visit the ruins and things like that.”
She gave him a warm smile. “We could go to Greece, if that's what you want to do. I'd like to visit that country. And besides, we need to have an actual honeymoon before the baby gets here. Once I give birth I don't think we'll get an opportunity again.”
“I thought for sure you wouldn't want to leave,” he said. “I mean, you have things tying you here now.”
“If you're talking about the kitten I can always have someone take care of it while we're gone. And I can go a few weeks without seeing my doctor. I mean, I need to be back for the sonogram soon, but that's not for at least another two or three weeks. And we can always put it off a bit if we need to. I just want to make sure you're okay, and if we need to go somewhere than we should go.”
“Thank you,” he said quietly.
“You're very welcome,” she said with a smile before leaning in and kissing him. Then she moved away from him and left the kitchen, going over to the desk and opening her laptop which was sitting on top. “How long do you want to go away for?”
“Two weeks?” he suggested. “That way we don't need to delay the sonogram too much. I am rather eager to find out if we're having a boy or a girl.”
“Okay,” she said. “You finish making breakfast and I'll start arranging things, making reservations and things like that.”
“All right.” She turned her attention away from him, looking at what was being offered that might interest him. Every once in a while she would ask him a question and he would respond, and she'd go back to the computer. Sherlock brought her her breakfast to the desk and she ate as she kept planning the trip. After an hour she thought she’d had their trip all sorted out and she closed the lid of her laptop. He looked up from his chair, where he had settled when he was done eating. “Are you finished?” he asked.
She nodded, moving over to sit near him. “I think we’ll have a good time, because there are all sorts of things we’ll be doing that will be kind of off the beaten path. I mean, we’ll do the regular touristy things, but there are a lot of other things that will be included. “ She gave him a warm smile. “I decided to do it for a little over two weeks, though. And everything is first class. The air travel, accommodations. I didn’t touch most of the money Mycroft gave us when we got married so I figured this would be a good way to spend it.”
“I think that’s a good choice,” he said with a nod.
“And the best part is there’s still quite a bit left over to help with getting things set up for the baby,” she replied. “And that was something we had talked about while you were gone, once your brother found out I was pregnant. He’s going to make sure that our child is well taken care of, and I think it’s a good idea.”
“Normally he’d make me owe him a favor for that,” he said with a frown.
“Well, your mother is insisting,” she said with a chuckle. “And I think he’s actually happy for us, in his own way.”
“Did you spend a lot of time with him?” he asked.
“Not as much as I spent with your mother,” she replied.
He looked at her. “So you’ve already met her?” he asked slowly.
“Oh, we actually get along quite well,” she said with a nod. “She was a bit put out that we got married and she wasn’t informed, but once your brother explained the circumstances she understood and demanded to meet me. She’s actually quite a lovely woman. She reminds me a lot of my own mother.”
“I should have been there,” he said with a sigh.
She got up and moved over towards him, sitting on the arm of his chair. “I know you wish things had gone differently, in a lot of respects. That you had been here when I found out I was pregnant, that you had been here when I met your mother, and a whole host of other things. But the important thing is you’re here now, and you can be there for all the rest of the important things. You have the rest of your life to spend with me, and I know you’ll make the most of it.”
He reached over and grasped her hand lightly. “Still, I am sorry.”
“You don’t have to keep apologizing, but I won’t stop you if it makes you feel better. I know I apologized an awful lot while I was getting over the attack, for making you worry and for having to do so much to make me comfortable. If you can listen to me apologize multiple times a day, I can do the same for you.” She gave him a warm smile and got one in return. “Why don’t we do something fun? Like, go for a walk or go to the cinema or something like that. Get us out of the house for a bit so we don’t feel so cooped up. And then we can go get things we need for the trip. I mean, we leave in three days.”
“I can agree to that,” he said with a nod. He let go of her hand and stood up. “Thank you.”
“For what?” she asked.
“For trying to take care of me,” he said. “I appreciate it.”
“You’re my husband. It was implied I’d do this for the rest of my life when we got married,” she said with a chuckle, and she got a wider grin in return. She stood up and reached over for his hand again. “I like seeing a smile on your face.”
“Well, I’m glad you can make me happy,” he said. “Let’s go get dressed and go out for a bit. You’re right. We’ve spent far too much time here at home this week.”
She squeezed his hand. “I don’t know. It wasn’t all that bad.”
“You know what I mean,” he said.
“Yeah, I do.” She leaned in and kissed him softly. “I bet I can get dressed faster than you.”
“Only if I don’t attempt to distract you.”
“No distractions. I’d like to leave the house before this afternoon.”
He chuckled. “All right. No distractions.”
She turned at that point and led the way back to their bedroom. She had to admit, this was a good turn to things. She had hope that time away would help settle him, help him get back to normal faster. She knew he might never be exactly the same, but that was all right. She’d love him regardless, and she’d do that for the rest of her life.