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this life is like a swimming pool.
you dive into the water,
but you can’t see how deep it is.
dennis rodman
〰
Winter, Busan, 2008
The colder months are always the hardest. When practice starts at six in the morning it means having to wake up before five to be ready in time. It’s chugging down a few grapes and a black coffee in order to have some fuel for the brutal training that is about to take place. It’s arriving at the pool in minus nine-degree weather, because training never stops when you’re at the skill level Park Jihoon and Woojin are at. They’re used to it, but it doesn’t make it any less fatiguing. But, they have each other.
Jihoon has put his clothes away into the locker, wrapping his towel around his body to give him extra warmth. The changing room wasn’t too cold, but it was early morning and there was still an unshakeable chill in the air. Woojin is behind, pushing his shoulders down so that he sits on the bench. His hands delve into his shoulders, eager to release the tension that had developed throughout the night. There’s no reason for Jihoon to hire a masseuse when he has Woojin at his disposal whenever he needs it.
“You’re really tight this morning. Did you stretch last night?” Woojin asks. His fingers tighten around a knot in the muscle, squeezing gently to release it. Jihoon shakes his head, he hadn’t had time between the drama lines he had to memorise and the film class essay that was due later on in the day. Woojin had it easy with assignments, taking athletic
“Coach is going to hammer us today then,” Woojin sighs. He lets his hands knead out any remaining tension in Jihoon’s shoulders, choosing to gently rub at the skin to soothe the area.
“Hopefully not. The massage helped so I think I’ll be fine,” Jihoon says. He links his fingers through Woojin’s and squeezes his hand, an unofficial thank you for his services. Touch alone isn’t enough, so Woojin gently takes his cheeks in his hands, planting a soft kiss against his lips.
They’re not together – well not officially. Between training and school, between scouts and swim meets, they have never really put a label on the relationship that they share. It’s enough – having each other, so they don’t change anything having slipped into a comfortable place with one another. Love is something coach had always warned them about, one of his most famous lines being “love is like swimming in a sea of sharks.” It was a warning to them - a warning that if they dove in the deep end and weren’t aware of their surroundings then they’d get wounded, or worse – eaten alive. Jihoon still remembers the first-time coach had told them it. Afterwards when they were walking home, Woojin had decided that he’d be Jihoon’s shark and that way he wouldn’t have to worry about falling prey to any of the others. Sure, coach was just scaremongering them but it worked - they don’t dare test the waters, what they have is a safe middle ground and they don’t dare to step out of it. Jihoon slides his hand over Woojin’s waist to steal a squeeze of his bum that was tightly bound by his speedos. “C’mon, it’s better to be early than late.”
Jihoon holds his hand out, letting Woojin take it in his. When they exit the change room doors they let go, giving each other a knowing look. Coach was sitting on the side of the pool, equipment ready and looking at the clock above the water. He sees them together and his frown is replaced with a smile – they are his favourite students after all.
“Parks! Nice to see you here on time,” his voice echoes through the empty area, almost like it’s bouncing off the water. They greet the coach and start stretching, the coach giving them some tips and guidance as they do so. The other swimmers start mingling in one by one, and aren’t surprised to see the Parks already present.
“Now that everyone is here, let’s get straight to it.” The coach pairs them up, going over the drills they will be doing for the first ten minutes of the training. They’re to do one hundred metres freestyle – seems easy, but there is a catch. The loser has to do an extra one hundred meters at the end of the training – it doesn’t seem like much but after the gruelling ways the coach pushes them it really is horrible. Jihoon and Woojin are the first to go, and they line themselves up on the edge of the pool. They secure their goggles and stretch their bodies for the final time. Woojin turns to Jihoon as they take position to dive in, a sly smirk on his face.
“If I win, you’re buying me dinner.” Jihoon smirks back, nodding as the coach blows the whistle as they both surge into the water.
〰
Summer, Busan, 2009
Normally the night before competitions aren’t this hard – and it’s why Jihoon finds himself sneaking out of his bedroom window to wander down the street to Woojin. Jihoon (being a swimmer and all) is quite agile which is how he manages to climb the railing against the side of Woojin’s house all the way up onto the small porch that is outside his room. Jihoon taps twice on the window, but there is no response.
I should have text him, Jihoon curses at himself. He pulls out his phone and text bombs Woojin in hopes it would wake him up. Jihoon can see some movement through the door but not much, perhaps it’s just Woojin rolling over in his sleep.
Perhaps I could…. Jihoon presses the call button and sure enough, his best friend is still the same idiot he always forgets to turn his phone on silent before falling asleep. Jihoon hears a thud and the noise going dead. A few footsteps later and Woojin is opening the door for hi, his hair askew and his eyes half dazed from the sudden wake up call. Jihoon pushes past him, and rightfully so out of the muggy heat outside and goes for his target – Woojin’s bed.
“Jihoon, what the fuck?” Woojin grumbles out. His voice is rough and ragged, and when Jihoon looks towards him from the comfort of Woojin’s duvets he feels slightly sorry for disrupting what seems like a damn good sleep. Jihoon holds up the duvet, a welcoming peace sign for Woojin to come back in. He sighs, ruffling through his hair as he wanders back to the bed. He tucks himself in next to Jihoon, facing him, and Jihoon can see the puffiness of both his cheeks and his lips. Woojin closes his eyes and Jihoon supposes he is going back to sleep until he feels Woojin’s arm wrap around his waist, bringing him closer so that they’re basically chest to chest.
“What’s wrong? Why are you here?” Woojin asks, his eyes suddenly wide open, his voice softer than before. Jihoon lets out a sigh and finds himself tracing circles onto Woojin’s back. “Nerves? I guess.”
Woojin nods, pulling himself closer towards him – if that was even possible. “Jihoon you’re one of the best, if not the best swimmer on the team.” Jihoon nods sheepishly and slowly because he doesn’t agree with that.
“Woojin… I-“ Woojin silences him with a kiss and it works as he thought it would. Jihoon tightens his grip on Woojin’s waist and lets the other hand find it’s home against his cheek.
“Promise me just one thing. I don’t care if you beat me in a race. Fuck, I don’t even care if I lose…” Woojin pauses and Jihoon watches him intently. Jihoon knows where this is going, he’s been waiting for this ever since Woojin first said he would be ‘Jihoon’s personal shark’.
“Please promise you won’t leave. I don’t know what I’d do…” Woojin trials off and buries his neck in Jihoon’s shoulders. Jihoon feels him exhale a long breath against his skin and instead of sending shivers down his spine it fills him with an electric warmth.
“I promise.” Jihoon cradles Woojin in his arms as they start to drift to sleep. He can feel Woojin’s smile through his top and he can feel when Woojin starts to mutter in his sleep.
“Don’t leave me.”
Jihoon has to hold back a sob, a sob of pure happiness because he doesn’t know if Woojin really wants certain feelings out in the open. Especially if they can’t publically show what they do behind closed doors. All he can do is make his promise and keep to it. Because he doesn’t want to hurt him and he hopefully never, ever would.
“I won’t.”
〰
Competition day, 2009
The change room always has a different atmosphere on competition days. The air is muggy, and filled with sweat, desperation and nerves from the entire team – not a single one of them ever calm. It’s also different because it is one of the only times where Jihoon and Woojin do not speak a word to each other – not even a hello. It’s a promise they made years ago – to ensure each other is focused but also to prevent them from doing something that will throw them off their game.
Jihoon has just finished putting on his speedos when he feels a presence behind him – none other than Park Woojin. Woojin’s fingers fund their way under Jihoon’s goggle straps, and carefully start adjusting them to Jihoon’s head. Woojin seems to be fumbling with the straps today, so Jihoon raises his own hands to help him tuck the strap under. Woojin gently lowers Jihoon’s hands to his sides. He steps forward, releasing his grasp and breaks his stern face expression, exchanging it for something more playful. He leans forward ever so slightly and lets his lips brush over Jihoon’s, giving the other some time to kiss back before the others turn around their way.
“Parlay?” Woojin asks Jihoon is a hushed voice. It’s another one of their things they adopted for each other, this time around after watching Pirates of the Caribbean together. Parlay can be said by someone who isn’t a pirate to a pirate, and it entitles them to negotiate with the captain of their ship without harm. In Jihoon and Woojin’s case, it holds something more meaningful to the pair of them. The captain is the finish line and the pair of them can do each other no harm in the water – even if one of them wins and one of them loses, they will always be able to finish without any harm done. And so, hearing those words come from Woojin’s mouth assures his nerves to relax – even if it is just a little bit. Jihoon clasps his fingers around Woojin’s and let’s his eyes rest on the boy in front of him.
“Parlay.”
〰
The scariest part of competitions for Jihoon is when they whistle is just about to be blown. There’s no turning back after you hear the whistle go off in the air and if you go to fast or too slow you can stuff up your chances of winning within a matter of milliseconds. It’s one of Jihoon’s biggest fears and thankfully those fears have never come true, and he hopes today will be no different.
He lines his toes up with the line of the edge of the pool, not daring to glance either side of him. This competition could be the beginning of a blossoming career for any one of the competitors here today, and Jihoon doesn’t want to fuck it up, not today.
The people in the crowd came to a hush from their previously loud chatter as the commentator announces that the race is about to start. It’s only one hundred and fifty metres – three laps in total, and Jihoon knows this is ideal for him. It’s what he trains for endlessly year after year for. The commentator asks the swimmers to take their positions and Jihoon can feel goose bumps prickles up all over his body. He hears someone snicker from behind him, but he tries to focus on the blue abyss in front of him. The commentator starts counting down and before he knows it the whistle is going off and Jihoon and the other boys dive into the water.
He thinks he’s off to a good start. He finishes fifty metres with no difficulty, and tumble turns at the end to swim his second length. When he’s half way he can notice Woojin out of the corner of his eye in the lane next to him, slowly but surely taking the lead in front of him. Jihoon resists the urge to waste energy to try and get in front of him, and instead continues his fast yet steady pace to the end of the fifty metres. Another tumble turn and he’s onto his last lap. He notices that Woojin is now far in front of him, and realises his chances of winning are thin. He doesn’t mind if Woojin wins over him, he loves him after all and he deserves it. But Jihoon spots the swimmer on his other side, a boy from another school who he recognises as Kim Donghan gaining on him. It sends Jihoon into panic and he starts kicking his legs harder and harder to make up for the lost distance between them. He has his eyes focused on Donghan so hard that he doesn’t see the end of the pool in front of him and collides with the concrete wall underneath the water.
Jihoon doesn’t see the concrete in front of him, instead he first feels his shoulder shatter from the impact as he had his head on an angle. It’s an unbearable pain but is diluted from the pain coming from his head, and he can feel himself slowly sinking to the bottom of the pool. He can hear the whistle blow very faintly but ultimately cannot hear another single thing. His vision is blurry and murky, the blood from his head injury seeping into the chlorinated water he is surrounded by. Before he can hit the bottom, he feels two arms scoop him up and pulling him towards the surface. The last thing he can remember is seeing Woojin in front of him and the distress on his face as he drifts out of consciousness.
〰
The past week since the accident has been hell for Jihoon. He was barely with it the first three days he had been in hospital, and can’t remember much from the past few days in general. Between being stuck in a small hospital and no treatment for his arm, you could say he is pretty miserable. The hospital has a strict no visitation policy, meaning the only people allowed in are his immediate family. His mother had been bringing in constant flower arrangements sent in by his coach, teachers and peers who cared enough. Most importantly she had made sure she gave Jihoon his phone in secret so that he could at least call Woojin. It was his seventh day in the hell hole until he was able to hear Woojin’s voice, and he could tell he wasn’t doing well himself.
“I’ve been worried sick. I can’t believe they won’t let anyone in to see you.”
Jihoon can’t help but chuckle at his worry, it makes everything seem a little bit normal hearing his voice. Woojin asks him what the hospital is like and if he’s okay. He’s not okay, but he can’t bear to tell him how much it hurts, how he fears he’ll never be able to swim again. Their phone call doesn’t last long because the nurse informs him that he has to have a meeting with the doctor about his shoulder, prompting him to say goodbye to Woojin.
“I’ll be out soon, I promise.”
When Jihoon enters the doctor’s office he is surprised to see his parents already sitting opposite the doctor, all three of their faces grim. He takes a seat next to his mother and twiddles his thumbs as the doctor starts repeating Jihoon’s condition and injuries as though it was the first time he was being assessed.
“Mr Park here will unfortunately have to go under shoulder reconstruction surgery if he wants to even be able to start thinking about swimming again.”
The words send shivers down Jihoon’s spine. He doesn’t know whether it is the fear or surprise that sends the vibrations throughout his body but he feels paralysed – mentally and physically.
“Unfortunately, our resources are not suited for this type of treatment and recovery, and we think it would be a better option for Jihoon to be admitted to the Seoul centre. This type of surgery takes years of physical therapy that we just can’t offer to you.”
Forget the paralysis, Jihoon feels like whole world is melting away around him. He can’t leave Busan, the only place he’s ever known. He can’t leave Woojin the only other person one earth apart from his family members that he would do absolutely anything for.
“Mum…” Jihoon starts but doesn’t get to have an input. It seems like his parents had decided already.
“Jihoon… we’ll be leaving in two weeks.”
Yes. Definitely his world melting away.
“But mum, Woojin- “
“Woojin will understand love. You’re nearly adults anyway. You can still- “
Skype. Jihoon knows that is what his mother is going to say. He can’t just skype Woojin, it’s not the same as laughing loudly in one another’s faces, or watching the television on the couch while Jihoon hogs the blankets and Woojin throws candy corn at him. It’s not the same.
And never will be.
〰
Jihoon decides not to tell Woojin, for the better. His plan is to leave it until the very last minute so he doesn’t have to experience Woojin trying to change his mind for the next two weeks – because it’s not in Jihoon’s hands and he can’t stay here – even though he wants to.
Packing his room up is the hardest part, finding all the things him and Woojin share together. Looking at his swimming trophies with the realisation that he will probably never receive one ever again. Realising that he has no plan b or even a plan c – it was always swimming. Always him and Woojin. And now that has been ripped away – and it’s all his own fault.
He finds himself tucked away in bed for the remainder of his time in Busan, rugged up in his blanket and away from the rest of the world. Woojin would know something is up by now as Jihoon’s mother had applied for Jihoon’s school transfer – and because Jihoon has not been at school. He has his arm and shoulder in a temporary sling, and isn’t allowed to do big movements with his upper body – the pain isn’t exactly the most bearable but the pain medication the doctor was able to supply does the trick for most hours in the day.
Jihoon receives a few texts from Woojin a day, and he tries to reply to them like normal, but knowing Woojin means that he knows when something up and this is definitely something. The time flies by and soon enough it’s time for Jihoon to leave for his surgery, not before he has one stop on the way out of town. He asks his mum to stop at Woojin’s while he is at school so he can leave him one thing.
He creeps out of their car, and over to Woojin’s letterbox. There are tears in his eyes and he wishes that he could just run away and forget this whole thing had happened. But he can’t. Instead, he opens up the letter box and inserts an envelope. Inside it contains a letter with simply three words, worth eight letters on it and a necklace with great enough significance for the both of them -an exact copy of the one Jihoon has slung around his own neck; a shark tooth.
Winter, Seoul, 2018
From: Ha Sungwoon (Editor and Chief)
To: Park Jihoon (Sports Journalist)
Subject: Summer Busan Olympics
[OPEN EMAIL]
Dear Mr Park,
It’s of my greatest pleasure to offer you the role of lead journalist for the 2018 Summer Olympics to be held in Busan. As I know of your previous role in swimming competitions, I thought you would be the prime employee to cover this part of the Olympics. Enclosed is an itinerary and the athlete’s profiles for you to look over, as well as a complete run down of the tasks I would like you to perform. Please RSVP to this email or come and see me in my office if you wish to take on this wonderful opportunity.
Kind Regards,
Ha Sungwoon.
[CLOSE EMAIL]
〰
Jihoon’s fingers freeze after he close out of the email, and comes over pale. He thinks he might be sick, but holds it in. He’d rather not be sick on his cubicle mates – especially not after that one time Sungwoon had took them out drinking after the company won an award as part of a celebration – it did not end well. Thank god he threw up on Minhyun’s shoes and no-one else’s, if he had done it on Sungwoon’s then he would have guaranteed being jobless the next morning. Aside from feeling sick, Jihoon can’t help but feel old memories and feelings pass through his body. He can’t quite describe it – he feels pins and needles pattering over his skin and feels his chest cave in. And he knows exactly why; he’s it’s a hard thing to forget.
Jihoon gathers his strength to lean back on his chair and tap Minhyun over the desk, breaking the older man’s attention through his headphones. He looks at Jihoon expectantly and he turns his monitor towards his direction. When Minhyun’s eyes rest on the email his eyes light up with delight and his usual calm composure is broken with a flurry of hand movements and body shakes.
“Are you going to take it? Please tell me you are going to take it.” Minhyun sounds more excited than Jihoon does, and it’s expected. Jihoon hasn’t been back to Busan in ten years, and hadn’t planned to for at least another ten more when he’d be older and more wrinkly meaning others wouldn’t recognise him as the fit Jihoon who was an outstanding swimmer – the one of two Parks who made everyone jealous and wish they were them in one way or another.
“I-I mean it’s a great opportunity but…”
Minhyun understands. It took Jihoon a few years to tell him everything but Minhyun understands. “But think of how good it will be overcoming your fear Jihoon. Don’t you want to move on properly.”
Minhyun leans in closer, so only he and Jihoon can hear. “This could be the closure you need.” Minhyun means well and it’s one of the reasons why they’ve become such close friends – not just co-workers.
“It could also help pay off the remainder of the medical bills…” Jihoon mutters back. Minhyun swivels his chair around to Jihoon’s side of the cubicle and gets him to face him.
“Jihoon. This is an opportunity to make your mark in the journalism world. Any of us would kill for this opportunity – especially when Sungwoon asked you himself…”
Jihoon lets the words sink in and lets a small smile stretch across his lips. “I guess I should start replying back to him?” Minhyun reaches out to high give him, and sneaks in a quick hug before Sungwoon appears in the entrance.
“I assume by the looks of things it’s a yes?” Sungwoon asks with a grin.
Jihoon nods, “Yes sir, I won’t let you down.”
Sungwoon claps his hand and exits, before popping his head around the corner one last time.
“You leave next Thursday.”
〰
Jihoon decides to get his packing done a fair few days before he has to catch the train to Busan. He doesn’t take much – opting for sweatpants and hoodies for casual wear and a couple button downs and slacks for most of his work gear. He dumps in the last of the equipment he thinks he’ll need for the interviews – his workplace encourages their journalists take all of their photography themselves, that also includes designing their own layouts for their articles. Jihoon has come to be pretty skilled in everything technology related, which is something he thought he’d never be able to do. Getting into Arts College was hard enough, so Jihoon makes sure he uses all of the techniques and strategies he learnt there to make the most of his profession. He had it easy considering his injury. The hospital let him study and work on his application while attending therapy and eventually Jihoon was as good as new – except with a few nuts and bolts holding his left shoulder together.
He scans over the folder he had printed which contained all the swimmer’s profiles, and skims through them one by one. He sees a few familiar names and faces, and eventually he stops skimming when he reaches one particular page.
Park Woojin.
He looks exactly like he used to High School, minus the maturity and stubble, that is. There’s something that looks so familiar, like home, to Jihoon. But there is something that throws him off, maybe it’s the uncertainty of Woojin’s personality. He doesn’t think Woojin would ever be a terrible person, but who knows what he may have had to go through after Jihoon just upped and left him.
He glances over to the shark tooth necklace he had laid on top of his clothing in the suitcase and sighs heavily, letting his fingers dance over the sharp edges. He feels tears drop down onto his hand and wipes quickly at his eyes. His eyes go red from both crying and the harsh rubbing but he is not about to do this right now.
It’s not like Woojin is going to remember or care enough to even talk to him…
Summer, Busan, 2019
When Jihoon steps off the train and breaths in the Busan air, he doesn’t regret leaving Seoul one bit. This is where he was born and raised, and ultimately a place he’d eventually come back to even if he left without a choice. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have much of a chance to look around because there is a press meeting at one o’clock with the Busan team – a meeting Jihoon can’t afford to miss if he wants to do his job correctly. He has enough time to dump his suitcase off at the hotel and transfer the important things into his backpack for the meeting.
The press meeting is being held in the town hall and there are already a bunch of journalists and news agencies set up outside the building. Jihoon reaches into his pocket and secures his press lanyard around his neck, and walks into the building. He likes to be punctual when he can, especially for events like these so he can get the best seat and network with some of the other journalists present. To his surprise he sees mainly fresh faces, and only a couple of familiar people in the room so he decides to just stand on his own near the stage. About half and hour passes and Jihoon goes through his notepad with questions he might ask the swimmer’s.
The meeting finally starts and the swimmer’s start filing one by one to take their seats at the table set up on the stage. Jihoon spots Woojin and for a second it feels like he’s the only other person in the room. It’s easy to the see the physical differences in person; he’s a lot taller, his shoulders are broader due to constant training, his hair is shorter. But then there are the things that have stayed the same, like the way he walks and the way his lip curls underneath his snuggle tooth – all things Jihoon is familiar with.
He watches on as the swimmer’s take their seats and in turn answer questions that the press or journalists have to answer. Jihoon decides to take the backseat on this meeting, instead he watches the swimmer’s responses and jots down a few points to make about the apparent lack of teamwork between some of them. A journalist next to Jihoon puts her hand up and directs a question towards Woojin, causing him to look right Jihoon’s way. There is a flicker of surprise that flashes over his face, but he is quick to disguise it with a cough. When answering the question, he can’t seem to keep his gaze away from Jihoon, and is probably thinking why now of all times has Jihoon decided to come back.
Even when he has answered the question and his fellow competitors are answering questions next to him, it’s easy to tell that Woojin is distracted by something much greater in importance to him than the Olympics. No-one knows why or what it might be, but Jihoon knows exactly why.
〰
Jihoon can finally rest at the hotel after a hard day of press meetings and de-briefings from the Olympic organisers, and it’s all just boring swim safety regulations and rules that Jihoon knows all about – he loved the life of a swimmer briefly after all. He hadn’t actually gone near a pool since the accident, and he doesn’t feel too sure about being around one in order to get on sight coverage for his article he is to write.
He continues to lie on his bed and debate booting his laptop up to play a few online games to kill the time, when his cell phone pings. He checks it and see a notification for one the events he has to attend. A mixer for the journalists and athletes to socialise and network before the games commence was announced by the Olympics organisers and in Jihoon’s eyes was actually a great idea. That is, until he figured he’d be in the same room as Woojin and forced to mingle with a bunch of people he doesn’t know. But it’s an event he has to attend nonetheless, and so he must start getting ready or else he will be tardy.
He takes his time in the shower, and makes sure to wash out the hairspray from earlier in the day so he could settle his bangs down for a more natural look – even though the event is suit and tie.
When thinks that his face looks up to par, he slips on some black slacks and dress shoes and follows up by buttoning up his white blouse. He looks at himself in the mirror, at the subtle bags under his eyes and the shark tooth necklace hanging from his chest and sighs.
I knew this would happen.
And by this, Jihoon means the memories flooding back in, playing through his head like watching a movie on the big screen. Every kiss, every moment shared: they had been unofficial lovers after all. He makes sure to tuck the necklace underneath his shirt and out of the view of the public eye and shrugs on his suit jacket. He gives himself one final look before grabbing his phone and notepad and heading for the door.
〰
Jihoon arrives and of course the event is busy and crawling with both excited journalists and aspiring athletes. Jihoon’s first mission tis to locate the bar and drink enough whiskey or him and Minhyun both if he were – not that Minhyun drinks much in the first place but if he were to drink then hypothetically it would be a lot. Jihoon orders his whiskey on the rocks and sips at it, letting the familiar burn of the liquid send warmth throughout his body and settle those nerves that just won’t seem to go away.
“Jihoon?” a familiar voice takes Jihoon out of his alcohol indulging trance and he is met with the doe eyes that belong to a familiar face from Sungwoon’s rival company: Bae Jinyoung. Despite their companies being rivals, the two of them had a pretty good friendship, and they often relied on each other for all kinds of work related support.
“Fancy seeing you here? Thought you would have stayed at home with the wife and kids.” Jinyoung winks.
“You and me both know there is no kids and definitely no wife.” Jihoon is no stranger to dating, in fact, he dated a lot in his early days of being in Seoul. But that’s the thing about dating – they were just dates. Jihoon never caught feelings and sometimes he felt bad but others he didn’t because him and the other person were just having fun. But it’s all a mask, a mask for the hole where Woojin used to be but no longer is. Back in the day, Jihoon and Jinyoung had a thing, but it was short lived and they parted on good terms. It’s part of why they are still able to good enough friends despite the things they may have gotten up to.
They catch up over a few drinks, and by drink number three Jihoon is starting to feel the whiskey clouding his head. He sits up from his stool at the bar and stumbles just slightly, and Jinyoung helps him back up with a caring hand.
“Still the same Park Jihoon I see,” he exclaims. Jihoon whacks his chest as he helps him back up and can feel the redness from the alcohol and embarrassment forming on his cheeks. When he is seated upright again, he sees someone walking towards them out of the corner of his eye but he chose to ignore it thinking it is just another person walking up to the bar.
He was wrong.
“Hi, I’m Park Woojin one of the swimmer’s for the Busan team.” He holds his hand out to Jinyoung who eagerly shakes back and turns his hand towards Jihoon.
“Park Jihoon. It’s been a long time.” Jihoon can’t put a finger on it but there’s something about Woojin’s posture and tone of voice that makes him seem off… like he’s spiteful o angry. It vanishes when Jihoon awkwardly shakes his hand (for appearances only) and nods in agreeance to his statement.
“It has. It’s nice to see you again.” Jihoon sees him huff under the dark light and Jinyoung takes it as a cue to leave the two alone. He sends Jihoon a thumbs up as good luck sign but Jihoon needs a lot more than just a thumbs up right now. He can see the way Woojin is holding back his words, by the way his mouth twitches before he opens his mouth to speak. Instead of speaking though, he promptly closes it and leans against the bar. His hands brush over Jihoon’s that is resting on the whiskey glass before retracting just as quickly as they made contact with his skin.
“Well… Uh, nice seeing you,” Woojin sputters out and walks away.
What the fuck.
〰
The next morning Jihoon wakes with a headache and sleep crusted eyelids not wanting to open up the sun streaming in through the hotel blinds. He has to force himself out of the comfort of the duvet o stumble towards his laptop. He thinks he can remember something about interviews today but he can’t think past anything apart from the encounter with Woojin last night. Did he think him and Jinyoung were together? Surely not…
Jihoon shakes the though from his mind and opens the calendar taband sees that he has two new interview slots inserted by Sungwoon. One for Kim Donghan, the same Donghan that he had tried to beat all those years ago, and after that… Park Woojin.
Jihoon can’t fucking believe it. Of all the times he would have to interview him would be after a hell of a strange encounter with him. Jihoon grumbles to himself and tries to scoff down his room service breakfast but can’t seem to get anything down the lump formed in his throat. He pushes the plates aside and gathers his gear, and decides to get to the interview sight early, and perhaps bury himself in work instead of the mystery that s the new Park Woojin engrained in his mind.
〰
Surprisingly, Donghan is at the location before him – one of the small seaside cafes. He’d already ordered for them and Jihoon can see the familiar steamed octopus sighting on the table waiting for him.
“Kim Donghan?” Jihoon asks, well knowing who is but just in case the other has no clue who he is. The athlete stands from his seat until Jihoon has taken his own.
“Park Jihoon, I’ve heard many good things about your articles.”
Jihoon raises an eyebrow but bites his tongue from saying a snide remark. They start to eat their meal and make small talk and Jihoon actually finds it easy to get his questions answered thoroughly and timely by Donghan. He feels guilt for being standoff ish to the younger man but he can’t help it, but decides to stop with the attitude for both of their sakes.
“So, Jihoon… How are you?” Donghan points to his shoulder.
“Oh, you remember me?” Jihoon asks.
“Yeah, I just thought it would be better not to bring it up during the important work stuff you know.” Donghan smiles at him warmly and asks again about his shoulder. Jihoon explains to him how he had to leave and do his surgery and therapy in Seoul and hadn’t had any other opportunity aside from this to go back home. Donghan squeezes his hand and shoots him a toothy smile.
“Well Busan is lucky to have you back, believe me.”
Jihoon isn’t particularly sure about that.
〰
Jihoon is on the way to the High School pool where everything went down for his interview with Woojin. He doesn’t know what to expect and if he could he would turn around and run all the way back to the hotel. But he can’t – he has a job to do.
He reaches the pool doors and is hesitant to open them, so he creeks it open ever so slightly to reveal Woojin waiting by the edge of the pool.
What is it with these punctual men today.
He walks inside and when the doors close behind him he sees Woojin jump out of surprise. Woojin can see the hesitation in Jihoon’s steps and Jihoon tries to brush it off by pausing to ‘tie his shoes’.
When he finally reaches Woojin, they awkwardly look at one another, that is until Woojin holds out his hand for Jihoon to shake – again.
“So Mr Park, would you like to go to the change room for the interview where there are proper seats?”
Jihoon is confused but nods his head and follows a far to chipper Woojin into the back of the change rooms. He seats himself and pulls out his notepad to write down his notes and starts asking his questions.
“What made you decide to join the team?”
“How does it feel to have some of the most popular sponsors supporting you?”
“How do you destress before a competition?”
They’re all similar questions which give Jihoon no answers as to why Woojin is acting the way he is. He pauses for a moment to gather his thoughts when Woojin breaks through the silence.
“Was it really that easy to leave without giving me a proper goodbye?”
Woojin is stern and catches Jihoon off guard. He feels like the air has been sucked out of him and he suddenly doesn’t know how to talk. His heart begins to race and he tries to find the right place to begin but nothing comes out except sputters.
Jihoon looks like he’s about to cry and Woojin hold his arms, just like he used to and brings his eyes level to his own.
“Hey, I’m not angry. Well, not anymore.” Jihoon sucks in as much air as he can and exhales roughly, not caring if he blows his coffee breath right in Woojin’s direction.
“It’s more just aching sadness now, you know? Emptiness…”
Woojin keeps his hands on his arms, waiting for a response.
“It wasn’t particularly easy leaving you Woojin. I had no choice.” Jihoon’s voice breaks and sniffs, quickly turning away from the very person he never would have worried showing emotion to. He just doesn’t know where to begin or what the hell this is that is happening.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”
Jihoon shakes his head, because in a way it’s part of what he needed to hear.
“How about we go and take those shots you need? We can chat later?” Woojin looks hopeful and god is it a sight Jihoon had missed for so many years on end.
〰
Woojin had told Jihoon to go and set his equipment up while he got changed and that’s exactly what he does. He rolls his sleeves and pants up and puts the camera tripod up a few feet from the pool to take long shots on an automatic timer. It doesn’t surprise Jihoon when he sees Woojin bounding out of the change room and towards the pool – he was always one for a run up to his diving.
The water splashes everywhere and reaches far enough to send droplets through Jihoon’s hair. Despite everything that had happened this was something he had missed, and it makes him feel warm inside.
Woojin starts swimming his laps and Jihoon starts manually taking photographs from his hand held camera. He zooms in on his shoulders and the way he effortlessly moves through the water. Put the man in the ocean with one of those mermaid tails and you’d have yourself a nearly real merman. Woojin continues to swim until Jihoon asks him stop. Woojin swims over to the side of the pool while Jihoon places the camera down and hears Woojin tap against the concrete for attention.
“Care to lend a hand?” Woojin asks.
Jihoon saunters over to help him out, only to find himself being pulled into the pool by one very strong grip. Thankfully his head doesn’t go under the water, but that means that he is skin to skin with Woojin in front of him, keeping them afloat.
“What the-“
“Jihoon, I’m sorry. I thought you’d never come back, let alone be covering this competition.”
Jihoon is sorry, really fucking sorry. But there’s not much he can do to make up for the many years of pain he’d put them both through. He easily could have come back but he didn’t out of fear.
“I didn’t want to hurt you any more than I’d already had.” Jihoon can’t quite meet Woojin’s eyes, and so Woojin takes matters into his own hands. He hoists Jihoon’s legs around his waist under the water and embraces Jihoon in his arms tightly and Jihoon can feel nothing but sincerity and longing for something that had been gone for so long.
It’s exactly what Minhyun had said could be possible – closure. But instead of closure, they are saying goodbye to what they had but saying hello to all that they can have in future: a very near future. Coach was wrong when he said to never swim with sharks. Jihoon would rather swim with a shark for the rest of his life than be out of the water. Rather be with Woojin than anywhere else.
Jihoon’s eyes rest upon Woojin’s neck and the matching shark tooth necklace hanging from it. Woojin holds it up to Jihoon’s which had been exposed due to the impact of the water. Woojin let’s his hands linger across Jihoon’s cheek and rest on his jutted bottom lip and it feels dangerous, but that’s what swimming with sharks is all about – you never know what you are going to get.
〰