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His short message was innocent enough. Jyn was already in the car and on her way back home, still in that thin pink dress they had put her in for the shoot.
“You forgot your bracelet…”
She was pretty sure (well, very sure) she didn’t wear a bracelet for the shoot. Nor before it. Nor at all. But there was something in the tone of his message that let her pause.
She knew Cassian for more than a year now and she figured she was in love with him for the better part of 9 months. Would have anyone asked her about when and how all of this started, she would probably pinpoint the exact moment to when he brushed back a loose strand of hair during one of the shoots he was doing with her. It was an outside shooting and wind was blowing relentlessly. It was the effect he wanted but it still had to look right. He wasn’t usually one to touch her although she was used to it during a shoot.
They had barely spoken more than a few words with each other by then.
Cassian was secretive. He hid behind the camera, watching people and watching scenes unfold and waiting for the right moment to capture them. He didn’t speak much when it wasn’t necessary. He didn’t shout directions at her. He was calm and collected when he needed something, methodical about arranging the scene and making it come to life like he had envisioned it. He was very good at what he did. But he did it alone – the only exception to his privacy being Kay, his usually snarky camera assistant. And even they weren’t speaking a lot.
Cassian was similar to her in that regard – he did a lot of communicating with his eyes. Sometimes he glanced over his camera and caught her eye and she knew exactly what he wanted from her. She loved the intensity of it, of his gaze on her, of his whole persona. At times she wondered whether there was more to him than he let on. The way he looked through the view finder of his camera, focusing in on the object or person in front of him – she could almost feel him zooming in on her and only her.
It wasn’t difficult to be fascinated by him.
They worked really well together – she trusted him. And over time and very slowly, she felt them getting closer and becoming friends. When he decided to walk up to her that fateful day and brush back that annoying little piece of hair, surprising the both of them with this sudden move, she had smiled at him, telling him it was okay without having to say the word. He didn’t have a problem with invading her personal space ever since then. She didn’t have a problem with him doing it either.
Although she could still make out the line they both had drawn because of past experience, it got blurrier every time they met and worked together. They tiptoed along that imaginary line, sometimes crossing it by a hair and jumping back into their own comfort zone immediately.
There were moments where she hoped he might feel the same way. Moments where he looked at her for too long, where his eyes lingered on her for too long, where he smiled at her genuinely and without holding back, where he reached out for her just to stop himself before he actually touched her.
It felt like he held himself back somehow. Or she just imagined it all. Maybe he just didn’t get the concept of personal space and that was it.
It wasn’t any different when she came to his studio today.
He had smiled at her tentatively and gotten ready for the shoot. They had talked about their week, their plans for the weekend and at some point, it felt like he would finally ask her out.
But he didn’t. Being his ever-professional self, he had finished his work and they had said goodbye to each other like so many times before.
But then, this message appeared on her phone and she didn’t know why but it just didn’t read like a simple ”Hey, you‘ve forgotten something“. They would see each other again after the weekend, so whatever she might have forgotten, he could give it back to her in two days. He never really messaged her.
Then, another message popped up and her heart almost jumped out of her chest. It was a picture. Cassian holding up a little golden bracelet, his hair clearly still wet after, what? – Did he take a shower? He wore that grey sweater she liked so much on him and he smiled softly. She didn’t know why he would send her such a picture if it didn’t mean…
It just all felt like… a code? It looked like a suggestion.
Jyn didn’t have a problem with being straight-forward most of the time. Still, she hesitated. Instead of answering his message, she leaned towards her driver and asked him to turn around. It didn’t take them long to get back to the studio.
Everyone else already had left but she could still see Cassian’s equipment lying around. She found him leaning over his camera as if readying himself for another shooting but his gaze was directed at the window and the landscape stretching before the house.
“Cassian?”
He didn’t jump although she could see that he was surprised to see her. He turned around in an instant to look at her stepping into the room, phone still in hand.
“Hey,” he said. “I didn’t –“ But he didn’t finish his sentence, stopping midway as if unsure what to say. His hands disappeared in the pockets of his pants
“Is this a code or something?” she blurted out, holding her phone up in the air as if to remind him of his own message.
“A code?” He looked at her quizzically.
“Yeah,” she continued, “a code. You know – to make me come back.” Now she fidgeted with the phone in her hand, looking down to avoid his eyes boring into hers and reading all of her thoughts before she had chance to even speak them aloud. He still looked puzzled.
“I thought that maybe – you wanted to see me,“ she stopped when she saw his face. He couldn’t look her in the eye – something he never did with her. Usually his eyes were always searching for hers.
“I wasn‘t trying to –“ he started again but she quickly interrupted him as she raised her hand to stop him.
Maybe… maybe she had gotten it all wrong. Maybe she had interpreted it all wrong. Maybe she had made a fool out of herself.
“You know, never mind. It isn’t my bracelet you found,“ she said while taking a few steps back, halfway turning around, pushing her phone into the pocket of her coat. “Just forget I said anything.“
She felt so stupid.
“Jyn!“
It was just a message and it was silly of her to project a hope onto it that wasn’t justified.
“It’s okay, Cassian. I’m sorry for reading too much into it.“ She wasn’t someone who wouldn’t admit her fault. It hurt her pride, but it wasn’t his fault she‘d jumped to conclusions.
“Jyn, I‘m sorry. I – I really thought it was yours.“ She followed his gaze and noticed the offending piece of jewelry on one of the desks.
“Don’t worry about it. I‘ll just – I‘ll go now, okay?“ She tried to not look at him. It would get difficult to hide the total embarrassment if she did so.
“Maybe I wanted it to be yours.“ She barely heard him say it because she was already in the hallway and on her way to the door. “Jyn, please stop!“ It was his pleading tone that made her stop in her tracks. She heard footsteps behind her and turned around just in time to see him catching up to her.
“I wanted it to be yours because it gave me an excuse to contact you,“ he admitted and she looked up to him now that he stood right in front of her.
“I’ve wanted to ask you for a date for more than 6 months now,“ he said, a shy smile tucking at his lips. “I just never found the right opportunity. I mean, I thought you’d left that bracelet here on purpose.“
“Like a code to have me come back?“ She was smiling now, too. Her back was against the door and Cassian was standing right in front of her.
“Like a code, yeah.“ He raised his right arm and brought his hand right next to her head, leaning into her.
“Well, here I am,“ she whispered because his face was so close now, she could smell his shampoo on his still damp hair.
“Jyn Erso, will you go on a date with me?“ He leaned closer, so that his forehead touched hers and she closed her eyes before answering, “Mh, that wasn’t so bad I think that was clear enough.“
Her smile widened even further and he sighed. “Is that a ’yes‘?“ Jyn could only nod, his presence overtaking every single one of her senses. His other hand was in her hair now, brushing back a lock and grazing her cheek while doing so. She felt his cheek next to hers, his beard scratching her skin and her face grew warm. Whether it was from the blush creeping up her neck or his proximity, she wasn’t quite sure and she didn’t really care.
He was so close, the anticipation was barely bearable now. He drew in a shaky breath, still playing with her hair and she knew that he was waiting for her a sign from her. He was waiting for her to take that step because she wasn’t the one to hesitate now.
She turned her head slightly and found his lips easily. They quivered lightly under her touch and she reached up to cup his cheek with her hand. She held him there for a few seconds.
The kiss didn’t last long, just a quick and soft brush of their lips against each other’s – a chaste promise of more time hidden underneath the layers.
“So,“ she leaned back just a little bit to look him in the eyes again, “who’s bracelet is it then?“