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He was happy.
It was weird to admit to himself. Having spent most of his life looking over his shoulder and closing himself off, it almost didn't feel right.
If someone would have come up to him five years ago and told him he could be happy, that he deserved to be happy, he probably would've punched them in the face and told them he wasn't that guy. He wasn't the guy who fell in love or let people in. He was the guy who chose violence and isolation over love and comfort. He thought it was all he deserved.
"This is Amos. He's my best friend in the whole world." Two small sentences that had changed his life forever.
He looked over at his boyfriend who wore glasses perched on his nose as he read to his daughter. Amos smiled, soft and full of love. A look no one would believe he had made.
"What?" Prax asked, looking up at Amos still smiling at him.
"Nothing, I just like seeing you guys like this." He sat next to them on their small grey couch. Mei laughed as she crawled from Prax's lap into his. His heart swelled.
He never thought he would be good with kids but he loved Mei like his own. She and Prax were his whole world.
"Isn't it past your bedtime?" Amos teased, ruffling Mei's hair. She was ten now, she thought that meant she didn't need a bedtime.
"I have to stay awake." She replied, her voice coming out small as she held back a yawn. "It's almost your birthday." She smiled. Amos raised his eyebrows. He had honestly forgotten about it. He never really celebrated it before Prax came along.
"Why didn't you tell me it was your birthday today?" Prax asked one night before bed. He was brushing the hair from Amos' forehead. He earlier complained that it was getting too long. Amos cut it the next morning.
Amos shrugged. "Didn't really think about it." Prax scoffed at that.
"We'll celebrate tomorrow." He yawned.
Amos replied with a soft, okay, not telling him how much it had actually meant to him. He also didn't expect to wake up to Prax setting up the house for his birthday. Amos didn't think he could fall any more in love with him, but he continued to prove him wrong.
"You can wake up early, angel. It's only ten, and I can see you're tired." Prax spoke before standing up from the couch. Amos' heart skipped a beat, it did everytime Prax called Mei angel. It was one of his favorite qualities about Prax, how sweet and soft he was towards the people he loved.
"You promise to wake me up?" She asked turning to Amos, once again yawning.
"He promises." He answered, kissing the top of her head before she went with Prax to her room. He smiled at their retreating figures.
He was so lucky.
"She really loves you, you know?" Prax smiles, his frame blocking the doorway to their bedroom when he's finished tucking in Mei.
"I really love her," Amos responds. He knew she did, of course, he did, but it was everything hearing it. Mei was one of the most important people in his life alongside Prax. He would do anything and everything for them. For his family.
Amos laid there in silence as Prax quickly fell asleep, his soft snores echoing throughout their room. It was a calming sound. It let him know that no matter how alone he sometimes felt at night, he never truly was.
The smell of pancakes and bacon filled Amos' nose when he woke. He smiling knowing that Mei and Prax were frantically cooking breakfast in the kitchen (and probably making a mess).
"You're awake!" Mei screamed, jumping down from the counter, flour all over her, as she ran to hug Amos. He pulled her up.
"Morning, kid."
"You weren't supposed to see all this yet." She frowned, gesturing to the tied balloons on the furniture and the Happy Birthday banner hung on the archway going into the kitchen.
"I think it'll be okay." He laughed. She nodded and chuckled along with him.
"Happy Birthday, dad." Amos froze, his heart seemingly skipping several beats.
She had never called him that before.
"Uh-yeah. Thanks." He stuttered out, his eyes watering as he set her down. She placed a kiss on his cheek and skipped back towards her dad. Her other dad.
Amos stood frozen where he stood. Too shocked and too happy to move or react properly.
"Good morning," Prax spoke, placing a quick kiss on Amos' lips before going back to sturring more batter. "Mei has a gift for you after breakfast. Well, it's really from the both of us, but I'd say mainly from her." Amos smiled, wondering what it was. He had told them many times that spending time with them was enough but he knew they'd get him something anyway. It was just the kind of people they were. The kind he loved.
They sat and ate breakfast in comfortable silence before Mei went on a rant about how plants deserved better than "daddy's dissecting." Amos laughed at the passion of a ten-year-old, but his heart was warm.
"They have feelings too." She crossed her arms over her chest in a way that never failed to make them smile.
"Honey, they're just plants. We use them for medicine and for studying." Prax simply explained. Mei didn't look convinced but dropped the subject anyway. It was truly entertaining to watch those two interact.
"Your dad said you have a present for me." She perked up at that, instantly bolting out of her seat and into her room. Amos looked at Prax and laughed at the kid.
"Here." She said breathlessly.
Mei handed him a manila folder. He bunched his eyebrows together in confusion.
"Just open it." She said impatiently, jumping up to sit on his lap.
ADOPT-210 Adoption Agreement
Amos' eyes widened as he read the rest of the form. Adoption papers. Several tears gathered in his eyes and poured onto the page.
"I-" He didn't know what to say. Mei was looking at him with a nervous expression. He looked over and Prax held the same one.
"Say something," Mei whispered, biting at her fingernails. A nervous tick.
But what could he say when his entire world just became whole. It was like his heart was bursting from his chest.
So, he didn't say anything. He broke down into soft sobs and wrapped his arms tightly around Mei, silently thanking whoever out there who had made this possible.
He fell in love, became someone he could be proud of, and now he was getting the family he had always wanted. It seemed impossible. Maybe, it would've been a few years ago, but now...
"I love you both so much." He finally whispered.
Prax let out a sigh of relief and walked over to him and Mei. He wrapped his arms around them both as they all cried tears of joy. It seemed impossible, but Amos sat there and held his entire world in his arms.