Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

~Washingmachine opened a chat~

~Washingmachine has added fiteme, sewingdad, tallbaguette, gayturtle, angelicist, elizard, andpeggle, burrsir, theodosia, mac and cheese, madiSICK, lesbean~

Washingmachine: Hello, my name is Mr. Washington. Everyone in this chat will be rooming in hall B31, so please try not to destroy the rooms. It costs a lot to rebuild, you know.

~Washingmachine left the chat~

fiteme: ...is that a challenge???

angelicist: I don’t know you and I already don’t like you

gayturtle: I don't know u and i already like you

fiteme: I am flattered

sewingdad: i am awake at 2am with a essay due tomorrow why was I added here

angelicist: read the first message idiot

sewingdad: oh

sewingdad: oH

gayturtle: are you okay

sewingdad: WAIT WAIT WAIT

sewingdad: I ACTUALLY GOT IN??

fiteme: yeah person we all did

fiteme: or everyone in this chat did

gayturtle: were you trying to be rude?

fiteme: I mean I dont know their gender identity yet so

angelicist: are we going to discuss this in the morning because i would rather that my siblings DIDNT wake up to hear you guys stating the obvious

gayturtle: geez let the guy have their moment

sewingdad: I'm still wondering if this is a sleep deprived hallucination

gayturtle: its not dude you made it

sewingdad: im going to sleep wake me up later if this is actually real

fiteme: I mean I usually stay up later but I have a flight early tmrw to NY

angelicist: finally goodnight yall

gayturtle: im alone now :(

gayturtle: i guess goodnight from me too

~chat closed~

Chapter Text

~ chat has opened~

fiteme: hey

fiteme: hey

fiteme: listen

elizard: hello??

fiteme: bless someones on

elizard: why are you up this early?? what is this group chat??

fiteme: read the earlier messages

elizard: ohhhh

elizard: yayyy Im in the same hall with my siblings :)

elizard: but I thought that peggy was a year younger then me??

andpeggle: skipped a grade biches

elizard: congrats peggy!!

elizard: but no cursing :)

fiteme: I congratulate you profusely as I admire how you accomplished this feat

andpeggle: its too early for your big words whoever you are

fiteme: whoops, forgot to introduce myself

fiteme: Alexander Hamilton at your service, call me Alex, born in the Caribbean, 19, bi, he/him

elizard: Elizabeth Schuyler, call me Eliza, born in NY, 19, bi, she/her

andpeggle: Margarita Schuyler, call me Peggy, born in NY, 18, aro + ace, they/them

fiteme: cool some LGBTQ friends

gayturtle: IM HERE

gayturtle: ARE WE DOING INTRODUCTIONS??

gayturtle: John Laurens, call me John, born in South Carolina, 19, gay, he/him

gayturtle: also how did Margarita go to Peggy

andpeggle: *shrugs*

fiteme: wait

fiteme: is your dad Henry Laurens??

gayturtle: sadly yes

fiteme: please excuse me but your dad is a big asshole

elizard: aLEX

gayturtle: believe me I know

elizard: it must have been hard being gay

elizard: especially with ur dad

gayturtle: oh he doesn’t know

elizard: he doesn’t??

andpeggle: how did you keep that a secret??

andpeggle: eliza and angelica found out after like 3 days

elizard: u were kinda obvious with u throwing away all ur dresses

andpeggle: details

andpeggle: but yeah how did u?

gayturtle: I just pretended to be straight did what he said and had a fake girlfriend

gayturtle: we were really good friends and she was les anyway

elizard: awwww thats so cute and nice of her :)

andpeggle: friend goals

fiteme: so I guess that ur not a asshole

elizard: ALEX

fiteme: what its a valid opinion

gayturtle: nah its fine its a common reaction anyways

sewingdad: I am awake

sewingdad: wait

sewingdad: it wasn’t a dream??

sewingdad: and who isn’t a asshole??

fiteme: we were doing introductions

fiteme: read the messages

sewingdad: ….

sewingdad: ohhhh

andpeggle: ur turn mystery person!

sewingdad: oh um Hercules Mulligan, call me Herc, born in Ireland, 20 but took a gap year, pan, he/him

andpeggle: another LGBTQ club member!!

sewingdad: I can’t wait to meet you guys!

sewingdad: also Im glad that none of you guys seem like jerks (so far)

fiteme: btw 1 hour until I land!!

gayturtle: what airport are you going to??

fiteme: um LaGaurdia airport I think

elizard: the four of us (plus angelica) should go to the airport to meet you!!

andpeggle: sure

gayturtle: as long as Im not driving then yes

sewingdad: i’ll get to see some of my hallmates before college, so yes!

fiteme: !!! you didn’t have to!!

elizard: when do you land??

fiteme: at like 6:45 am

gayturtle: where should we meet up??

elizard: do u guys live near Mercer Park??

gayturtle: yeah

sewingdad: pretty close??

elizard: meet there in 10

andpeggle: time to wake the beast

~chat closed~

Chapter Text

~chat opened~
elizard: WE’RE HERE
fiteme: HYPE HYPE HYPE
lesbean: your what?
gayturtle: me, herc, eliza, peggy, and angelica are here to pick up alex from the airport!!
lesbean: ???
elizard: read the above
angelicist: why was I dragged along
andpeggle: cause we’re the schuyler siblings
lesbean: ohhh I understand now
elizard: you two need to introduce yourselves!!
lesbean: oh! maria lewis, call me maria, born in NY, 19, lesbean, she/her
fiteme: thats nice and all but IM ABOUT TO LAND AND MEET 5 OF MY FUTURE HALLMATES
gayturtle: HYPEEE
sewingdad: HYPEEE
andpeggle: HYPEEEEE
angelicist: ITS 6AM LET ME SLEEP YOU HEATHENS
andpeggle: never
elizard: almost there!!
sewingdad: by almost there she means stuck in parking traffic
andpeggle: stop exposing us herc
gayturtle: THE PARKING BUILDING IS FULL AGH
angelicist: does this mean I have to stay in one car with you people for longer??
gayturtle: YUP
andpeggle: awww you love us tho right
angelicist: no
andpeggle: so rood
andpeggle: also I have confirmed that john is not a asshole
fiteme: bless
angelicist: on my deathbed make sure to donate all my stuff to charity
angelicist: make this car my grave
sewingdad: we’re not that bad
angelicist: …..
sewingdad: *Im not that bad
gayturtle: BETRAYED
andpeggle: I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS
angelicist: okay I guess u and liza arent that bad
andpeggle: WE’RE SIBLINGS
angelicist: how am I related to you
andpeggle: so mean
fiteme: what happened while I was on the plane
andpeggle: well herc is bigger then I thought
sewingdad: I (un)officially adopted John and peggy
fiteme: ;-; I want to get off this plane and meet you guys already
burrsir: what is going on
fiteme: well I just got off of a plane
elizard: WE’RE STILL PARKING
fiteme: nah its fine I still need to grab my luggage
burrsir: well, i’m already in my room at the college
fiteme: OOOH IS ANYONE ELSE THERE
burrsir: um two guys
fiteme: how are they??
burrsir: ok I guess
fiteme: yeah but give us the dirt on them
burrsir: I guess one of them is a bit loud??
sewingdad: do you have any opinions dude
burrsir: they’re on this chat so I don’t want to be rude
fiteme: so what we’re all gonna be living together anyways
elizard: alex
fiteme: i’d rather be divisive
andpeggle: how long have u been in this chat burrsir
burrsir: I was just reading ur conversations to be honest
andpeggle: kinda creepy?? but okay
sewingdad: introduce yourself slightly creepy dude
burrsir: ...is that supposed to be offensive?
gayturtle: just introduce yourself
burrsir: Aaron Burr, call me Aaron or Burr, born in NY, 20, bi, he/him

Chapter Text

fiteme: WAIT

andpeggle: wat

gayturtle: ???

fiteme: WHERE ARE YOU GUYS IN THE TRAFFIC

andpeggle: we just stopped by the side of a terminal??

fiteme: which one

andpeggle: terminal 3, Delta

fiteme: GOOD BECAUSE IM IN TERMINAL 4 AND I MAYBE PUNCHED A GUY AT THE BAGGAGE PICKUP

elizard: ALEX WTH

angelicist: i am going to be stuck with you people for the entire school year

burrsir: im reconsidering my scholarship

andpeggle: I SEE YOU

andpeggle: I ALSO SEE THE GUY BEHIND YOU

gayturtle: RUNNNNN

sewingdad: THE DOOR IS OPEN JUMP IN

fiteme: DRIVE

angelicist: jesus christ

burrsir: well I feel bad for the poor soul who has to room with alex

fiteme: HEY

sewingdad: he has opinions???

elizard: heyyy this is peggy eliza stepped on the gas and zoomed off

lesbean: what just happened

elizard: well so basically alex punched a guy and eliza’s driving away and miraculously dodging all the traffic

lesbean: aren’t you eliza

elizard: nah shes driving

sewingdad: thats peggy

lesbean: ohh i see

andpeggle: oop liza just snatched her phone back

sewingdad: THE OTHER GUY GOT INTO HIS CAR GOGOGO

lesbean: jesus christ what did you guys do

lesbean: guys

lesbean: welp

burrsir: what happened to them??

lesbean: I guess we’ll never know

~chat closed~

Chapter Text

~chat opened~

andpeggle: why was there someone on at 3am

sewingdad: read the messages

fiteme: hey guys eliza here :) Alex sprained his wrist after he got into a fistfight with the guy from the airport

burrsir: ….seriously reconsidering my scholarship….

sewingdad: nooo dont leave us burr

fiteme: but you guys look so cool irl!! Im glad that mr. Washington made the groupchat :)

andpeggle: see 1 of my sisters like me

angelicist: I stand by my statement

fiteme: one sec - Alex

fiteme: ACK HES TRYING TO TAKE HIS PHONE BACSKNAM

sewingdad: ??

===================

~ private chat between andpeggle and fiteme~

andpeggle: is this alex or liza

fiteme: I stole my phone back from eliza

fiteme: I can type just fine >:(

andpeggle: good bc I wanted to talk abt someone

fiteme: ???

andpeggle: I see u eyeing John

fiteme: excuse I did no such thing

andpeggle: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

fiteme: I FEEL SO ATTACKED RN

andpeggle: dont deny the gay alex

fiteme: ...

andpeggle: hah

fiteme: fine but like

andpeggle: ???

andpeggle: spill the tea

fiteme: well...herc also has really nice arms??

andpeggle: WHOA

andpeggle: HOUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM

fiteme: STOP BEING SO EXTRA

fiteme: but yes

fiteme: dilemma

andpeggle: so how are u gonna make this work?

fiteme: ?? dont ask me

fiteme: i dunno whether they like me back or anything anyway

andpeggle: THE INVESTIGATION BEGINS

fiteme: waIT STOP

andpeggle: no stopping the gay

~ private chat closed~

Chapter Text

~chat opened~

gayturtle: alexander hamilton turn off that light and come to bed right now

fiteme: never

gayturtle: what are you even doing at this time???

fiteme: I got washington to give me his lesson planner

fiteme: Im writing the end of first semester essay

gayturtle: jeSUS CHRIsT scHOOl bEGiNs iN a wEeK

gayturtle: iT haSnT eVEn stARTed yEt

burrsir: as much as I like getting work done ahead of time I have to agree with him

burrsir: im a bit worried for you alex

gayturtle: GO TO SLEEP ALEX

fiteme: no

fiteme: why can’t you just be opinionless like usual burr

fiteme: I need to finish this and start writing my tryout for the debate team

burrsir: sweet jesus

angelicist: why is my phone buzzing at 3am

angelicist: my phone shouldn’t be buzzing at 3am

gayturtle: yes angelica

gayturtle: help me drag alex back to his bed

fiteme: nEVER

angelicist:

angelicist: good night

gayturtle: NOOO MY ONLY ALLY

burrsir: I take offense to that

gayturtle: u dont count bc your not here to help me drag him back to bed

burrsir: well

burrsir:

burrsir: point made

fiteme: FINISHED

gayturtle: good now go to sleep

fiteme: no

gayturtle: UGH

elizard: just give up john

elizard: he’ll probably be there until the end of time

gayturtle: but

elizard: just go to sleep

gayturtle:

gayturtle: okay mom

~chat closed~

Chapter Text

~chat opened~

tallbaguette: am i late again

tall baguette: uGH

tallbagette: i can not wait until tommorow

theodosia: hey?

tallbaguette: YES FRIEND

theodosia: where is everyone else?

tallbaguette: time different

theodosia: ohhh

theodosia: *time differences

theodosia: why are you so excited for tommorow?

tallbaguette: PLANE TRIP

theodosia: oooh i take the plane the day after!!

theodosia: maybe we’ll see eachother??

tallbaguette: YES

tallbaguette: how you say

tallbaguette: LATE NIGHT SQUAD

theodosia: see you soon!!

tallbaguette: au revoir!!!!

~chat closed~

Chapter Text

~private chat opened between andpeggle and sewingdad~

andpeggle: so

sewingdad: ???

sewingdad: its late peggy

sewingdad: can we do this in the morning

andpeggle: no

andpeggle: this is of upmost importance

sewingdad; ?????

andpeggle: i am here to inquire about you feelings towards alex + john

sewingdad: theyre my children

andpeggle: are you sure??

andpeggle: nothing more???

sewingdad: yes???

sewingdad: that reminds me

sewingdad: i need to get alexs ass back to sleep

sewingdad: excuse me

andpeggle: .....

andpeggle: maybe crush on alex

sewingdad: i dO nOT

andpeggle: definite crush on alex

sewingdad: RUDE

andpeggle: how about john hmmm???

sewingdad: my lips are sealed i will say nothing on this subject

andpeggle: o rly

andpeggle: bc im pretty sure i saw u blush earlier when john used his southern accent ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

sewingdad: dammit

sewingdad: i thought my skin was dark enough to cover it up

andpeggle: HAH

andpeggle: MY GUESS WAS RIGHT

sewingdad: fuck

andpeggle: THE INVESTIGATION CONTINUES

sewingdad: the what???

~private chat closed~

Chapter Text

~chat opened~

macandcheese: WAKE UP HOES

fiteme: rude

macandcheese: i dont give a fuck

angelicist: as much as i love this engaging conversation

angelicist: why the fuck are you waking people up at 6am

andpeggle: i dunno

andpeggle: i mean

andpeggle: i was up late last night investigating and searching up new memes

angelicist: peggy no

andpeggle: peggy yes

fiteme: on that note

fiteme: INTRODUCTIONS

macandcheese: ???

fiteme: introduce your self strange person

macandcheese: ?????

fiteme: its a customary thing in this gc

macandcheese: Thomas Jefferson, call me Thomas or Jefferson i guess?? born in beautiful Virginia, 19 but my birthdays next week, bi

macandcheese: but back to my reason of being here

macandcheese: COMPARING SCHEDULES

fiteme: oh yeah

fiteme: who has washingtons history class??

angelicist: me

macandcheese: me

andpeggle: not me

andpeggle: i got some guy named john adams

macandcheese: lol i heard that he sucks

fiteme: he is a lAZy ass teacher

andpeggle: thats not necessarily bad??

fiteme: he doesn't explain shit and expects you to do a hecka ton of homework

andpeggle: sHIT

elizard: NO CURSING

elizard: also i have mr. franklin for science

andpeggle: oooo he does really cool experiments and projects in class

angelicist: wasn't he also the guy that almost burned the school down with a kite

andpeggle: details

elizard: ...

fiteme: MOVING ON

macandcheese: ughhhh i have 6:30 classes

andpeggle: why did you even sign up then???

macandcheese: French culture is very interesting thank you very much

elizard: as long as u get enough sleep uwu

fiteme: not likely haha

Chapter Text

tallbaguette: GOOD MORNING

tallbaguette: I AM ON THE PLANE TO AMERICA AND I AM VERY EXCITED

tallbaguette: I KNOW REALIZE THAT IT MIGHT BE 5AM IN AMERICA

tallbaguette: I APOLOGIZE

fiteme: like thats chill and all but sTOp wiTH tHe cAPiTaLizATiOn

tallbaguette: yay!!!! friend!!!

andpeggle: what the frick

tallbaguette: another friend!!!

tallbaguette: :)

andpeggle: i am too corrupted for this pure man

andpeggle: woman

andpeggle: im not assuming genders here

tallbaguette: it is okay

fiteme: introduction time

tallbaguette: !!!

tallbaguette: Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette, call me Lafayette, born in France~, 18 but turning 19 in a month, pan, they/them

andpeggle: yES ANOTHER NONBINARY FRIENDDDD

andpeggle: but hecka long name bro lol must be a pain whenever they ask u to write full name on your tests

tallbaguette: you have

tallbaguette: how u say

tallbaguette: no idea how pAINFUL IT IS

andpeggle: *tear drop* you are now my son and I have to teach u the way of the internet

fiteme: okay thats sweet and all but france??

tallbaguette: yes

tallbaguette: I believe that I am arriving at 9:30 ish tonight?

fiteme: well technically tmrw but lETS PICK HIM UP

andpeggle: YES

tallbaguette: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fiteme: we'll tell the others in the morning!

tallbaguette: yay (*w*)

andpeggle: see you at 9:30!!!!

tallbaguette: good night!!!!!!

fiteme: see u

Chapter Text

andpeggle: gOOd mOrnIng eVEryOnE!!!!

fiteme: what is morning

fiteme: what is night

fiteme: i dont know anymore

andpeggle: iGNORING THAt

andpeggle: whos up for breakfast

elizard: me!!!

lesbean: not me

lesbean: gotta grab coffee and go

fiteme: same

andpeggle: today we lose two of our members to morning classes

sewingdad: im up

gayturtle: sure

madiSICK; thomas already left for classes

andpeggle: a third lost

andpeggle: may they rest in peace

angelicist: who are you

madiSICK: roommate of thomas

gayturtle: no you must do the customary introduction

madiSICK: ???

madiSICK: oh okay

madiSICK: James Madison, just James, from Virginia, 18, gay, he/him

gayturtle: nice

andpeggle; but r u coming madison

madiSICK; no

madiSICK: im sick

elizard: poor thing :(((

sewingdad: want me to make u a scarf or smthn???

elizard: i can bring medicine

madiSICK: im fine

madiSICK: im just gonna go sleep now before classes start

elizard: hope you feel better!!

sewingdad: good luck man

andpeggle: once again the mom and the dad of the chat shows up

andpeggle: but

andpeggle: aside from a new person

andpeggle: I HAVE NEWS

sewingdad: ???

gayturtle: ????

angelicist: good or bad

andpeggle: good

sewingdad: spill

andpeggle: last night me and alex were chatting with a french person thats flying in tonight and he's gonna be a roommate!!!!

gayturtle: YES

sewingdad: ohhhh now it makes sense

andpeggle: ?????

sewingdad: i didn't have a roommate and just assumed that it was a mistake

sewingdad: but now i guess that the french guy is my roommate

andpeggle: *person

andpeggle: theyre non-binary

angelicist: thx for the heads up

elizard: are we gonna pick him up again???

andpeggle: lets go

gayturtle: I'll ask alex + thomas + maria when they get back

gayturtle: but are we still going to the student cafe

andpeggle: yeepers

sewingdad: im heading out

sewingdad: see you guys there

gayturtle: same

gayturtle: bye

andpeggle: bye

angelicist: bye

elizard: bye

Chapter Text

andpeggle: yOu wiLL nOt bEliEve thE sHIt thAt hAppEneD

gayturtle: im going to mURdEr sOmeoNE

macandcheese: make it quick my professors turned

sewingdad: as upsetting as this is why r u on your phone in class

macandcheese: just spill the tea

angelicist: okay so we're walking in right

angelicist: so we all order the free coffee (showing student ID as proof)

angelicist: aND THEN

gayturtle: THEY FUCKIN TOOK THE FREE COFFEE OUT

macandcheese: screw it

macandcheese: HOW?????

macandcheese: WHY???????

fiteme: i heard the words coffee and free whats going on

andpeggle: THEY TOOK THE FREE COFFEE AND REPLACED IT WITH TEA

elizard: but teas healthier for you :(

andpeggle: YEA

andpeggle: BUTTTTT

angelicist: THEY CHARGE FUCKIN 1.50 FOR IT

gayturtle: WHICH WOULD BE OKAY

gayturtle: EXCEPT THEY HAVE FUCKIN TAX

fiteme:

elizard: alex?

macandcheese: i just heard the most uNHOLY SCREECH coming from down the hallway

fiteme: im going to write a hecking essay on why that was the most sTUPID decision they could ever make

sewingdad: do you know why they replaced it?

angelicist: some shit about 'funding the student body'

macandcheese: screw my lecture THIS IS THE TEA

Chapter Text

elizard: children :)

elizard: geT yOuR bUttS oUt HErE

fiteme: dakld;ldjll;as

gayturtle: hrkp hwrciles fwll askwep on mw

andpeggle: a man lost

andpeggle may he rest in peace

fiteme: wait why is he asleep on you in the first place

andpeggle: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

gayturtle: sHYT iP

sewingdad: oHMYGODIMSoSORRY

gayturtle: aIR

andpeggle: he lives

fiteme: okay but answer my question

gayturtle: okay so me and herc have the same last class so we headed back to dorms

gayturtle: we decide to just wait at my dorm so liza doesn't have to drive more

elizard: awww!! thx guys!!!

gayturtle: anything for you ;)

andpeggle: if I didnt see your user id say that u liked her

gayturtle: bich im gay and proud

elizard: i still appreciate this BUT ITS 7:45 AND THEIR FLIGHT LANDS 9:30

gayturtle: fuck

fiteme: let mE gRAb mY lApToP cHiLL

sewingdad: me + john have our bags packed and ready

gayturtle: shit should I brush my hair

andpeggle: you and me both know that aint working

elizard: is maria still coming?? she hasnt been on :(

andpeggle: 5

andpeggle: 4

andpeggle: 3

andpeggle: 2

andpeggle: 1

lesbean: OHMYGOSH IM HERE SORRY SORRY SORRY

lesbean: I WAS BUYING COFFEE FOR US AND LOST TRACK OF TIME

elizard: its fine!!!! we'll come pick you up after aLEX gets his laptop!!!

sewingdad: passive agressive eliza is scary

fiteme: why does she get a free pass

andpeggle: she bears the sacred liquid

andpeggle: coffee

fiteme: fair

gayturtle: me and herc are waiting downstairs btw

elizard: okay!!! im waiting approximately 10 seconds before we leave alex :)

fiteme: asdgaslhAWDLASd

elizard: 10

elizard: 9

elizard: 8

fiteme: wAIT

elizard: 7

elizard: 6

elizard: 5

elizard: 4

fiteme: IM OUT

elizard: good now lets go

sewingdad: i repeat

sewingdad: passive agressive eliza is scary

gayturtle: we see your car

lesbean: Im a block away!!!

elizard: get in children

elizard: we're in for a heck of a ride

Chapter Text

gayturtle: quick alex duck

fiteme: w h y w a s i r u d e l y a w a k e n e d

gayturtle: airport security still remembers you and theyre on the lookout

fiteme: shit

fiteme: hERc hIdE mE

sewingdad: on it

angelicist: anyone care to tell me why herc suddenly squished me into the back of the seat

fiteme: airpirt swcuroty

gayturtle: hercs hiding him so we dont get banned from the airport forever

angelicist: valid, continue with your life

elizard: i think its safe

fiteme: thANk gOD i cAn bREAtHe

tallbaguette: hello mon amis~

tallbaguette: the plane is landing soon! I cannot wait to see you all!

angelicist: we'll be there as soon as alex can disguise himself well enough to escape security

andpeggle: SHAVE HIM SHAVE HIM

fiteme: nO

fiteme: mY pREcIouS hAIR sHAll nOt bE tOuchEd

andpeggle: coward

gayturtle: just put it in a ponytail and give him hercs hoodie or smthn

angelicist: well since we dont have an electric razor i guess it'll do

sewingdad: ,,,,but its cold,,,,

fiteme: listen here buddy

fiteme: if i can adapt from the caribbean you can take off your fuckign hoodie

gayturtle: fuckign

andpeggle: fuckign

angelicist: fuckign

sewingdad: fuckign

fiteme: i feel attacked

fiteme: lafayette and eliza, my only allies

tallbaguette: fuckign

fiteme: eliza, my only ally

elizard: ....

elizard: fuckign

fiteme: i will not stand for this abuse in this household