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She does it for all those she’s lost. It seems like a healthy enough way to get through things, so she doesn’t stop. Maybe she should.
She sits down on the edge of the dock, her legs swaying peacefully above the ocean. This was her favorite place. The smell of the salt and the cold wind against her skin brought her a sense of peace. This was her home. Raven smiled at the setting sun and took out her small notebook. There were hundreds of torn out pages and splashes of paint on the inside. Truth be told, it looked like a mess and she could use a new one, but she couldn’t let go.
Maybe it was because someone she loved gave it to her. A friend she had lost many years ago. Her name was Clarke Griffin. The paint was hers.
Raven thinks about her a lot. Sometimes it even feels like she’s sitting next to her, swaying her legs along with hers. She wishes more than anything that she was. Clarke wasn’t like most people Raven had known. She wasn’t selfish or cruel. She could look into your eyes and understand every bit of pain you were going through and she’d stay long enough to fix it. They spent most of their nights together at Clarke’s place. It was a small studio apartment with the bed in the living room, but it was home.
“Why don’t you do more with this?” Raven asked, brushing her fingertips against the many paintings spread throughout the room. Each of them told their own story. They were beautiful.
Clarke looked up from where she was sketching a boy with freckles and loose curls. A boy Clarke spoke of often but Raven had never met him. “I’m not sure.” She shrugged. “Maybe in another life.” She joked but it ran dry. She wanted to be an artist. It was like second nature to her, Raven could see that from a mile away.
“I actually have something for you,” Clarke spoke suddenly, brushing her hair out of her face and standing up. She searched frantically through her pile of things. She pulled out a grey notebook. It was thick with white pages and covered in dried paint.
“What’s this for?” Raven whispered as she ran her fingers along the spine. No one had ever given her anything before.
“I know you like to write stories and poems and I thought maybe you could jot some ideas down in it.” Clarke’s cheeks flushed. She seemed embarrassed by the gesture but Raven couldn’t have been more grateful.
“I-” She froze, her eyes tearing up. She knew it was ridiculous to cry over such a simple thing, but no one had ever paid much attention to her long enough to know she loved to write. It was something she had only shared with herself. “Thank you, Clarke. I don’t know what to say.” She tearfully laughed.
Clarke sat next to her and placed a kiss on her cheek. “You deserve the world, Raven.” She had whispered.
That was the first time Raven had fallen in love.
Thinking about Clarke often brought tears to Raven’s eyes and today was no exception. Especially today. Three years since she died. She had moved on from Clarke’s death a while ago, it no longer left a hole in her heart and instead brought a smile to her face. Raven had to remind herself that Clarke always wanted the best for everyone, she wouldn’t have wanted her to be sad or hurt. This was a way of honoring her memory.
Raven pulled out her pencil and started writing in her journal. She didn’t write stories or poems anymore though. She wrote letters to Clarke. Maybe it was weird or even unhealthy, but it was her way of coping and it seemed to work. She’d write the letters, rip out the pages, stick them into these beautiful seashells she had bought years ago and let them go into the ocean. Clarke had loved the ocean, it was her favorite place in the world besides her studio, so it seemed fitting and maybe somehow she was getting them. The small hopeful part of Raven believed that once people died they never really leave you.
Clarke was still here, sitting next to her as she wrote.
Clarke,
Things have been good lately, hard, but good. It’s been three years without and I know you’re probably happier wherever you are now, but I miss you. I know Bellamy does too. He talks about you constantly. But, so do I, so I can’t even give him a hard time for it. I think it’s harder for us because we were both in love with you and sure, no one knows that I was, but it’s still hard. I’m going to have to cut this letter short because it’s started to lightly rain. I miss you, Clarke.
With a sigh, Raven ripped out the page and folded into the shell. If someone were to swim to the bottom of the ocean just under these docks they would find hundreds of letters, all of them addressed to her. Raven looked out at the horizon and smiled as the sun went away. It was now dark and cold, but it was nice. Peaceful. She stood up and threw her letter into the ocean and watched as it sank to the bottom.
Something was coming up. She could see a figure swimming up to where she sat. Her heart rate quickened. Raven fell onto her back as something sprang from the water onto the dock. She quickly closed her eyes, too afraid of what’d she see if she opened them. She prided herself on not being afraid of many things, but sea creatures were something she had always been terrified of.
“Is this yours?” A soft voice filled her ears. It was soft, almost melodic.
Raven opened her eyes slowly, her mouth falling open at the sight in front of her. A woman. The moon shining behind her hair like a halo. She was speechless.
“I-” She started but nothing came out. The woman tilted her head, studying Raven with a smile. A smile that seemed to illuminate the night sky. She crawled above her holding up her letter with an excited look in her eyes. Her hair wrapped around Raven like a curtain as the rain fell all around them.
“You’re the letter writer?” It was more a statement than a question. Raven nodded, still too stunned to speak. A sharp gasp escaped her as she looked behind the woman and noticed a large tail and fin.
That’s not possible.
“I am.” She finally spoke, her voice quiet and scared. The woman took that as a hint and lifted herself of off her. Raven sat up and took her in. She was beautiful. Her hair was a mass of curls and color and her eyes a color Raven had never seen before. Truth be told, she was captivated by her beauty. Nevermind the fact that she had possibly just made a huge scientific discovery. Mermaids, they existed. For some reason, that didn’t freak her out.
“I have tons of your letters.” She was carrying a sort of bag. She reached into it, pulling out more than twenty or so warped papers, the ink dripping slightly on the wooden dock.
“Who are you?”
“I’m Luna. I live out there.” She pointed to the ocean with a smile and a look of pride. “I’ve been meaning to meet you for a while now.” Luna said with giddy look in her eyes.
Raven didn’t know what to say. What could you even say in a situation like this? She thought of Bellamy and how he would absolutely love this. He was always about mythical creatures and legends.
If anyone ever asked, no, her heart didn’t skip a beat at the sight of Luna. She was quite possibly the most beautiful woman she had ever seen.
“You’re a mermaid?” She stupidly asked, instantly regretting it. Luna laughed, her head falling slightly back, and Raven didn’t regret it anymore.
“How else would you explain this?” She pointed towards her fin and chuckled. Raven laughed with her and for the first time in a while she felt whole again.
They sat there until the sun rose. They spoke for hours, talking about absolutely nothing and somehow it was everything. Luna kept smiling at her, a shy smile, as she talked about how she collected her letters and how they made her feel less alone in the world. Raven told her about Clarke, but Luna already knew all about the woman she fell in love with so many years ago.
*
It was a couple months later when Raven asked, “Are you alone?” Luna looked up at her question. Her eyebrows furrowed together and a sad expression on her face.
“Yes. My kind were hunted and killed years ago. I’m the last.” Her eyes were sad as she perched her hands on the edge of the deck. “You know, I may be alone, but your writing helped me. I felt like I had a friend.” She ducked her head as a blush rose to her cheeks.
“You do,” Raven whispered, leaning closer to Luna. They looked into each other eyes, each of them hesitating to move any further. Raven could feel her heart beating rapidly against her ribcage, almost as if it was trying to break out.
“Raven-” and their lips met and the world stopped spinning. Her lips were soft and promising. Nothing had ever felt as right as this single moment.
They pulled away, slowly opening their eyes and smiled. A smile that seemed to change the world as Raven knew it.
Clarke,
I met someone. A woman mermaid named Luna. She’s beautiful, Clarke. You would have loved her. She’s everything good in the world. She’s bright and kind and loving. I can’t help but feel I’m the luckiest girl on Earth. I love her, Clarke. I really really love her.
“What are you thinking about?” Luna asked from the water, her smile brighter than the sun.
“You,” Raven answered. “Always you.”