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Tony's doing it again. They're having lunch by the beach and Rhodey is trying to be serious, trying to get through Tony's shields, but Tony is deflecting.
Rhodey knows it's basically an automatic reaction from Tony, to any kind of concern. The thing is, last time Tony did that, it didn't turn out so well. Turned out Tony was dying and didn't tell anybody.
Rhodey is not gonna go through that again.
It's clear the man's not sleeping, and Rhodey brings it up. He swears to himself if Tony dares say something stupid like 'I'll sleep when I'm dead', Rhodey will deck him. But again, the last time he tried to fight Tony into being honest, they broke Tony's house, and Rhodey's heart a little.
But Tony doesn't say that. He throws out something stupid about Einstein. Rhodey's trying to explain, trying to get it through that head that he's doing this because he gives a shit, not because he's trying to be a dick, but they're interrupted by some kids who want Iron Man to sign their drawings.
He feels impotent, helpless again as he watches Tony freak out, running out of the restaurant with a terrified look on his face. Rhodey makes some excuses for the kids, while his eyes fall to the drawing that Tony left on the table.
He wrote "Help me!" next to Iron Man. Iron Man taking the nuke up to the skies. Oh fuck. As if it weren't so awfully fucking clear that Tony needs help.
Fear claws at Rhodey's stomach, though he tries to keep his face calm for the kids. He makes sure they get back to their mother and leaves some money on the table to cover the check.
Then he's running through the crowd, out of the restaurant and stepping into his own suit. Taking off into the sky after Tony.
Jarvis accepts his hail and informs him that Tony has gone back to the house. He sets his own course to follow. Tony won't answer.
"What's happening?" He asks Jarvis.
"Sir is experiencing an anxiety attack." The AI sounds nervous. Worried.
"He - this isn't the first time, right?"
"I am not at liberty to say." Which means no, it's not the first time. Damnit, Tony.
It was clear Tony isn't sleeping, now he is having anxiety attacks. Who wouldn't, after flying a fucking nuke into space? But Tony isn't talking.
It reminds him too much of Tony slowly (quickly?) dying and not saying a word about it.
Rhodey is not gonna put up with that anymore. He doesn't know how he's gonna make Tony listen, but he's gonna try. Trying to beat him into talking didn't work last time; they just destroyed the house (and broke a big piece of Rhodey's heart). He had to come at this differently this time.
He lands War Machine next to the Iron Man armor, at the front door of the mansion.
"Where-" he starts asking Jarvis as he walks in, but sees Tony. He's curled in a ball with his back against the wall of the entranceway, shaking, his right hand covering his chest, where the reactor is.
Jarvis is talking to him - "…hold for a count of four. That's it. Just like that Sir."
Jarvis is leading him through breathing exercises, trying to get him to calm down a bit. Rhodey runs over to Tony and then gently kneels down in front of him.
"I'm here, man. I'm right here." Rhodey risks laying a hand gently on Tony's arm, feeling the tremors running through him.
Tony looks up, and his eyes are manic, terrified. God, does Rhodey know that look. He's had plenty of friends come back from serving with that look. He's seen that look on himself, not so much lately but he has. Plenty of times.
"You're alright. You're ok. Listen to Jarvis." He starts following Jarvis' instructions too, breathing along with Tony. "It's a panic attack. J says your heart's fine. You're not gonna die."
At that Tony's left hand comes up to grip Rhodey's arm and he lets out a pained sound.
"I promise." Rhodey knows that feeling. Your heart pounding so hard you think you're gonna die right now. Right this minute. He knows.
And he hates the fact that Tony knows it now too.
Tony doesn't let go of him, and they keep breathing together, listening to Jarvis' calm, cool voice. Tony's still staring at him, eyes wide, but he is breathing a bit better and it looks like some of the fear is dissipating.
"You're doing good. That's good," Rhodey assures him. He moves a bit closer to Tony, hoping his nearness, his touch will help too. "Listen man, it's ok to ask for help, you know? Can't you let me in, a little?"
Tony still doesn't speak, but Rhodey sees shame and fear warring in his eyes.
"I'm not doing this again. I'm not letting you cut me out here. You think I didn't see you getting blown up every night in my dreams?" Rhodey shakes his head. "Even still sometimes. You - you get blown away and I can't do anything to help you. Nothing."
Tony opens his mouth, takes a few tries then manages to speak. His voice is wrecked. "But- you - you did help. You found me." His breathing is slowly evening out now.
"And you saved millions, no, actually, the whole fucking world. You did."
Tony breaks his gaze, staring down at his lap. A shudder wracks him for a moment.
"But it's not, it's not enough. You didn't see…what was up there. They're gonna come back." He's staring down at the floor, unable to look Rhodey in the eyes. But at least he's talking. God, he's finally talking.
Rhodey reaches out with his free hand and covers Tony's where it's still held to his chest. He's hoping that'll jog his memory. The whole flight back to the US from Afghanistan, he didn't let go of Tony's hand when he could keep holding on. Reminding himself that Tony was actually there.
Tony's staring down at his hand.
"I- I can't sleep. I have these nightmares, keep dreaming about it. It's so bad Pep's sleeping in the guest room. I-" his voice is full of pain. "I know they're gonna come back. I- I don't know what to do."
Rhodey squeezes his hand tightly.
"I know. Neither do I. That's ok."
His honesty, like a lifeline he's throwing out to Tony, who is out there treading water all alone… drowning, and Rhodey is praying, please take it, please please take it.
Please.
"We'll figure it out together ok?"
A few moments pass, then Tony finally looks back up at him. His eyes change a bit and he nods. And he lets Rhodey pull him into his arms and hold on tight.
"Ok," Tony whispers. "Ok."
And Rhodey's dragged him back to shore. This time.