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It really hurts whenever Yoongi sneezing, he will produce blue petal from his nose. It hurts because he knows Jimin doesn't love him back. That pink haired boy only cosiders him as big brother. He can't endure anymore the pain of one side love so he decides to do surgeon to stop all of this.
He tells Jimin one day about this--of course Jimin knows about his one side love but has no idea who's Yoongi loves so much--and all Jimin can do is supporting Yoongi.
"I hope you won't suffer anymore, Hyung. And I hope that guy choke a dick for unnoticing your pure feeling." Yoongi only smiles. 'It's ok, Yoongi. You won't hurt anymore. ' he says to himself. "Thank you Jimin. You're really my bestfriend. I love you."
I love you so much.
And that day comes. All Yoongi's friends, of course Jimin's there, gather outside operation room. Wait with hopes, Yoongi will do well.
He's worried and it's been 5 hours since Yoongi entered that sterile room. Why does it take so long when usually only needs 3 hours?
"Jimin, you can stop tapping your foot. It's annoying to be honest." Seokjin scolds him.
"I'm sorry Hyung. I-" He stop when the door opens and a doctor--Jimin almost screams--with blood in front of his surgeon clothes appears.
"How's Yoongi?" Jimin says first before his friends.
The doctor sighs heavily. "We're sorry. We tried our best." Jimin mutters 'no no' as the docter continues saying. "But we didn't m know that Mr. Min had heart problem. We tried so hard to save him, but.... he's passed away."
Jimin doesn't realize tears fall down in his cheeks. "You don't fucking dare to lie! It's not the right time to joke!" Jimin grabs the doctor' clothes. "Please tell me you lie."
The doctor hold Jimin's hands. "We're sorry. And here the last petal he produced before surgeon."
The doctor hands a blue petal to Jimin. "Until his last breath, he really loves that guy. He kept muttering 'Jimin'."
And Jimin faints.
--
It's been a week since Yoongi's funeral. Jimin still can't believe he really lost his bestfriend, his brother. Also it's been a week since Jimin stays in Yoongi's small apartment. He sleeps in Yoongi's bed, but it feels so empty without that mint haired man.
Jimin gets up from the bed and walks to Yoongi's desk, where his bestfriend wrote all the lyrics. Jimin remembers Yoongi had a secret notebook and didn't let Jimin to read what he wrote there. What did he write?
He finds that notebook, opens the first page as he sits on the chair. He gasps when he sees his photo and notes below the photo. 'My beautiful Angel'
He goes to the next page. There's Yoongi' handwriting.
• 130309 •
I think it's the best birthday I ever had. God just sent me an angel as gift, a beautiful one. He has chubby cheeks. We're at same heights but he looks so small and I wanna wrap my hands on his body.
I didn't say anything to him, but Park Jimin is so cute.
---
Jimin can't hold his tears. He let it falling down, and touch the notebook. He remembers the first time he met Yoongi. Yoongi was sobbing in the park because no one remembered his birthday so Jimin approached and entertained him.
It was beautiful day.
---
•130320•
I was shocked when I woke up and there were so many petals on my bed. It was cold and I kept sneezing and produce a petal from my nose.
I don't know I should be happy or not.
It's the first time I love someone but why it's one side love?
God.... I love Jimin.
---
Jimin keeps reading every pages.
He's such worst bestfriend.
He hurts Yoongi, and the worst thing is he even doesn't realize that!
Jimin' body is shaking. He cries unconditionally when he's on last page.
•180429•
I decide to do surgeon. It hurts so much and I can't endure this pain anymore. It's been 5 years but there's no way Jimin love me romantically.
Before this feeling dissapears, I just want to say that I never regret loving man named Park Jimin. Loving him is one of the best moment in my life. Hurt but beautiful. And being his bestfriend is another beautiful moment.
And for the last time, even though you will never read this, I love you Jimin. So much. You are--were--my world.
-idiot Min-
---
Jimin goes to his and Yoongi's favorit beach--also the place where Yoongi's ases were spreaded last week--bring the notebook. He lets the salt water attack his barefoot.
He re-reads the last Yoongi's notes before closes the notebook and hugs it in his chest tightly. It so hurts.
Slowly he walks toward the sea, let the water hide his bottom. He stops and closes his eyes, whispering "I'm sorry Yoongi. I'll make sure you will be the happiest person. Not here. Maybe there."
And he continues walking. Let the water sink him.
Slowly.
And he dissapears.