Chapter Text
Everybody has flaws, that much is obvious. People make mistakes, and sometimes they learn from them, sometimes they don’t. Nobody is perfect.
Which is probably why the ideal of a perfect partner–of a perfect relationship is so compelling. It’s an unachievable ideal, which makes it highly desirable.
But then, one would think that the more flaws a person has, the less desirable they’d be.
Well, Ichigo has never been one to care what others say.
Because if Kisuke is anything, he is a flawed man. Ichigo could list off his most prominent ones in a heartbeat. And he could probably shoot off several more but that’s more him being nitpicky.
First.
Kisuke is a manipulative bastard.
Since he was very young, he has learned to bend people’s opinions not only to suit his, but to make them do things whilst thinking they’re doing it out of their own free will. Which, while annoying, wouldn’t be so bad if he applied it for good.
But it’s Kisuke we’re talking about.
“Well, what do you suppose I should have done?” Kisuke says, a small confused smile playing on his lips which only manages to further irritate Ichigo, who just slams his hands on the table to show his annoyance. He notices how Kisuke actively tries to erase the involuntary smile and softens up a little.
“Well, for starters not manipulate them into destroying their family reputation.” Ichigo scowls at him, a dry smile on his lips. He drums his fingers on the table, trying to flare up his annoyance again, lest he let Kisuke win this one.
Kisuke actually looks offended. “Whatever for? They were dumb enough to fall for it, and they weren’t innocent.”
Ichigo is not impressed. “Kisuke, you started a rebellion.”
“ Yes I am very much aware of it. Which, was one of the possible outcomes and was favorable for us. Now we don’t have to worry about where to put the barracks for the refugees of war you so wanted.”
Ichigo just sighs very very deeply.
Second.
He is a perfect liar.
“How. How did you convince my teacher that his long lost –and very much dead– brother had come to visit him?”
“Well, whatever do you mean?”
Ichigo squints at him. He raises his arms from the table and makes a grand gesture encompassing the place and the situation with such a amused exasperation that it brings a smile to both of them. “It just so happens that the very same day that my classes get cancelled for something as bizarre as that, you invite me out to eat someplace which only admits people by prior reservation.”
Kisuke looks unrepentant. “You know me so well.”
Ichigo rolls his eyes and briefly massages his forehead. “You’re lucky I like you.” He mumbles, deciding to start on his meal before Kisuke pops up with another crazy plan to get what he wanted (it wouldn’t be the first time).
Kisuke’s face softens as he mumbles back. “Yes, yes I am.”
(Ichigo proceeds to choke on his salad.)
Third.
His sense of morality is more than a little skewed.
“Did you just drug a kid?” Ichigo is incredulous, having rushed back to the shoten when he heard a commotion, the hollow already taken care of. Kisuke looks up from under his bucket hat, mildly apologetic.
“It was an unfortunate accident… and he was being too curious about your very much dead body.” The shopkeeper jabs a finger at the collapsed form of Ichigo’s human body.
Ichigo looks from his body back to his boyfriend, absolutely astounded (and exasperated, although when is he ever not?). He waves his hands in front of him for further emphasis. “ Drugging people is illegal, Kisuke!”
“I don’t see why, he’s not injured, or dead. He’ll be fine when he wakes up.”
Ichigo loves the man–for some reason. But he stills punches him right off his feet without any sympathy.
“I don’t care that he was not permanently damaged– actually I do care, but that’s not my point. You don’t go drugging people just because they’re an inconvenience for you. You’re supposed to be a genius! Figure out something else! And besides, he’s a fucking kid. What is he, six? What possible danger could he pose?”
Kisuke blinks at him, cheek already swollen but not looking remotely guilty. Instead he cocks his head at him. Ichigo almost kicks him. “You’re… serious. Was it that bad? I thought that it would be less bothersome and since it’s untraceable and doesn’t really harm him…”
Ichigo inwardly cringes a little. Kisuke sometimes worries him.
“It’s wrong, Kisuke.” He says, losing his fire. He knows he’s fighting a losing battle because Kisuke simply does not care.
The shopkeeper sobers up and stands back on his feet. “Ichigo-kun.” He says firmly, making Ichigo straighten instinctively. “You and I are both aware that there are more than a couple things wrong with me. I know this is not what you want, but I acknowledge that this was a mistake, and I will endeavor not to repeat it, unless it is absolutely necessary.”
Ichigo looks away, knowing he would capitulate anyway. “You better promise me that.”
“My words are as true as my love for you.” Kisuke proclaims, not a drop of humor in his voice. He looks properly chastised and Ichigo can’t deny those words were extremely powerful.
“Well then,” Ichigo mumbles, reaching out for his hand. “That’s quite a promise you’re making. Better make sure you don’t break it.”
Kisuke smiles. “That’s impossible, my dearest.”
Fourth.
No matter how you put it, Kisuke has murdered a lot of people.
This is not a topic they tend to talk about. They discussed it in detail (Ichigo had practically beat Kisuke until he spilled every single word of it and then consoled the sobbing mess), and had declared the subject closed. Ichigo listened, understood and accepted Kisuke’s actions even though he would never condone it. He had his word that it would never happen again and Kisuke had already spent decades punishing himself over it, so Ichigo doesn’t bring it up. But it sometimes resurfaces.
Kisuke would brood, he would shy away from him and look at him like Kisuke was someone unworthy of his love.
It hurts Ichigo almost as much as it hurts him.
“I know you love ignoring people’s decisions, but I chose you. I knew you had done bad things, and I still. Chose. You. ” Ichigo says with a fierce intensity, crouching in front of Kisuke and probably breaking the shoulder he grabbed onto.
Kisuke doesn’t seem to register any pain however, and just slants his tired –sunken, dark, void– eyes over to him. Other than his eyes, his face is slack, not betraying anything. Even his voice is mild. “And I’m thankful for that, Ichigo-kun. Don’t get me wrong. It’s just that… you could do so much better than me. And we both know it. Heck, the whole universe knows it.”
Ichigo has enough and in a fit of rage, he throws the man backwards making him huff a breath, before he straddles him. His knees are on either side of him and his hands return to his shoulders pinning him to the ground. His rich chocolate eyes burn with emotion. “Too damn fucking bad, because I don’t want someone better than you. I want you, so shut the fuck up.”
Kisuke relents mostly because the man straddling him is beginning to shake. “Your choice is perfectly valid. I’m not trying to ignore or override your own opinions. I’m just… I’m the worst kind of scum of the earth and I know you deserve better.” Ichigo still looks desolate, so he forges on. “Despite that,” he licks his lips nervously. His calm, calculative character, painstakingly built over centuries just giving way in the face of a young, brave soul. “As long as you want me… I want to stay by your side. Even if I don’t deserve you, I want you to be with me. I love you, Ichigo. And even though they say love is meant to be selfless, I just want to be very selfish with you.”
Ichigo looks at him, brow still furrowed. “You mean it?”
“I do.” Kisuke stares right at him, presenting himself and all of his insecurities for Ichigo to pick apart if he so wishes.
Ichigo doesn’t want to–doesn’t need to.
Ichigo couldn’t close his eyes to certain flaws. He needs to acknowledge them, accept them even if he does not tolerate them.
Because Ichigo isn’t perfect either.
Because Ichigo has screwed up big time.
Because he’s bold and brash and audacious and an absolute idiot at times.
Because his one biggest flaw, was that he still loved the man, regardless. He still fell for the adoration in the eyes of that wild relentless storm trapped inside a man despite all the baggage he carried.
He might be tainted. He might be skewed.
But he was Ichigo’s. And as long as Kisuke listened to him, as long as he cut his more extreme reactions down, as long as he no longer toyed with lives, he wouldn’t leave him.
“Are you sure?” Kisuke would say to him, sly in a way so suitable for him. “Because that means you’ll stay with me forever.”
Ichigo grunts back and just forces their mouths together. “Did I fucking stutter?”
Ch 1 end