Chapter Text
His emerald green and golden robes flying in his back sweep, and with a happy grin on his face Loki strode through the halls of Asgard. He wore his finest clothing, his raven black, neck-long hair carefully styled and a giddiness in his step. Today was a special day!
Today was the day he met her a month ago. Nothing worth mentioning for sure since they lived for 5000 years, but nonetheless it was something that made Loki feel happy and that made it worth. To him it was a special day because she was the first one who hadn’t rejected him within the first minutes of a conversation. She was the one who liked his mischievous tricks, his magic. She just… She was the one.
He had a hard time from refraining himself not to giggle like a little boy, but he was smitten about this woman. In the last couple of days she had been around often in the halls of Asgard and they had spent quite some time together. He remembered the first time he’d taken her on a tour through the halls and Loki smiled even wider. She’d loved it, all the gold, the grandeur. Everything. And him!
Today he would take her for a walk through the forest and the mountains, and afterwards they would share a lovely meal. The weather was beautiful today, not to cold, not to warm, and the sky was clear enough to see the planets.
Loki was informed that she already had arrived, a little bit earlier than they had agreed on and he had to hurry. He would’ve been on time if it had not been for him picking up flowers. Not just some flowers, golden roses, really hard to get by and he had to go through great lengths to get them. But he had them and she would love them. He would meet her and with his magic he would summon them from thin air; she would love that!
As he entered the room where she should be waiting he stopped behind a broad pilar which held the enormous golden roof alof. He needed a second to breath, to wipe the boyish grin of his face. He looked down and with his hands he smoothed out his fine clothing. This day would be perfect!
As he was about to step away behind the pilar, he heard a familiar laugh; Thor. Of course his brother would be around, it was only logical that he was there to greet her before Loki would arrive. The gentlemen. But a umnious feeling loomed in Loki’s stomach and instead of stepping away behind the column, he decided to stay put a little while longer and listen to their conversation.
“I don’t understand how you put up with all his tricks”, Loki heard her say.
“Well, I’ve lived with him for centuries, and centuries more to come. You’ll get used to it”, Loki heard Thor say to her.
“I just don’t get it, neither do I like it”, she said to Thor.
Loki’s happy smile vanished from his face and a little sadness came to his eyes. She had told him she liked his magic, his tricks, but apparently not. He summoned the golden roses from thin air in his hand and looked at them. A little conflict erupted in his mind, because if she didn’t like his magic, would she ever truly like him? He pushed the thought away. He would never give up on his magic for her, for anyone, but he could surely use it less, if that is what she wanted.
But the ominous feeling in his stomach had turned into a little black pit and he wanted to know what more they had to say. Carefully he peeked around the pillar and saw her and Thor sitting on the luxurious couch. Nothing out of the ordinary except for the fact that they were sitting really close to each other, nearly in each others arms. Loki felt a slight pang of pain in his heart.
“What if I don’t want to get used to it”, she said while she inched closer to Thor, running her fingers playfully over his chest.
“What do you mean”, Thor asked a little bewildered but with a genuine interest in his voice.
“Thor, please. Are we going to keep up this dance between you and me?”
Thor grinned sheepishly. “Did you ever cared about my brother?”
She hesitated to answer but spoke anyway. “No. I never really liked him, I just figured that if I would stick around for a while by his side I’ll eventually meet you”, and she inched closer to Thor.
Loki couldn’t believe what he was hearing and seeing. A profound sadness crossed his face and the black pit in his stomach filled itself with a burning rage.
“So all you ever wanted was me?” Thor said a little bit too happy, followed by a snicker.
“Yes”, she said as she inched ever more so closely with her face to Thor’s.
Just as her lips almost touched Thor’s, Loki stepped away behind the column.
“Is that so”, he tried to say as cold as he could; but the hurt shimmered through it. The golden roses in his hands had turned black and the anger had seeped through to his heart.
They both jumped up from the couch, startled.
“Loki, I...” she stammered meeting his eyes and quickly looking to the floor.
Loki was actually lost for words and looked at his brother.
Thor laughed, “oh brother, are you that blind? Did you really thought…”
Loki never let Thor finish his sentence and with a blast of green magic he send Thor flying through the room; the roses in his hands turned to ashes. Anger and hurt crossed Loki’s face and with a last look at her he turned on his heel to walk away. He knew enough, he didn’t need this, didn’t want this. It was better to just walk away.
“Loki wait!” she said.
Loki stood with his back to her, his eyes brimmed with tears. He wanted to walk away, but he also wanted to give her a chance to explain. As he turned around he pushed the tears away and with a cold stare he looked her in the eye.
“I… I never... “ she stammered under Loki’s cold glare.
“You what?” Loki said mockingly.
“I never wanted to hurt you”, she blurted and broke eye contact and looked to the floor again.
“You betrayed me. You only wanted to see me so you could get to Thor.” Tears brimmed his eyes again. “And you are sorry? You never wanted to hurt me? I may be mischievous, but I’m not a fool!” Loki said through gritted teeth, almost choking on the words. She didn’t look up, she didn’t answer.
“YOU USED ME!” he screamed, releasing the rage that he had been holding back and he took an angry step towards her.
Thor had gotten up and placed himself between them. “No brother”, he said low with a threat in his voice. She looked up again, anger in her eyes as well.
Loki looked Thor angrily in the eye but he knew he couldn't win. It was over and for the second time he turned on his heel, but this time he walked away.
As he left the room he heard the words she screamed after him. He heard the words that took out another chip of his heart. The words felt like a hot dagger splicing his skin, and once again confirming so much aspects of his life.
“You’ll never be like Thor.”