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“Daddy, why do I have to go to the doctor? I don’t even feel sick,” Sarah complained, pouting up at Steve as they made their way down to the subway.
“Doctors like to meet their patients for the first time when they’re healthy, so that they know what’s normal for them when they do get sick,” Steve explained. “Then their doctor can see just how sick they are.” Steve lets Sarah swipe both of their metro cards, because she loved how the reader ate them and then spat them back out. Steve smiled as she giggled and scurried through the turnstile to snatch their cards back from the machine.
“So...he’s not going to give me any new medicine or anything?” Sarah asked, handing the cards to Steve.
“No, probably not. He’s just going to go over the medicine you already take,” Steve assured.
“Good. I hate new medicine,” she said, making a face and sticking her tongue out.
“I know, lovebug,” Steve said, chuckling and hugging her to his side. “I hate new medicine, too. It’s a pain in the butt, huh?”
“A gigantic pain in the butt,” Sarah agreed.
“Hey, who said you were allowed to use big words like ‘gigantic?’” Steve asked, glaring playfully down at Sarah. “You’re not old enough to use words like that!”
“I am too old enough!”
“Nope, you’re definitely not old enough. You’re only three, and you have to be at least five to use words like that,” Steve said.
“But Daddy, I’m six !” Sarah protested.
“You can’t be six already. I’m your daddy, and I would definitely know if you were six.” By now, the train had pulled into the station and they got on; Steve holding Sarah’s hand and heading toward an open seat. When they reached it, Steve sat down and Sarah climbed into his lap so she could fiddle with the buttons on his shirt.
“But I am six! I’m in first grade, remember?” Sarah informed him, giving him a serious look.
“You’re in first grade? Well, I guess you must be six, then,” Steve said, lacing his fingers together behind Sarah’s back. “When did you get so big, huh?”
“I don’t know, I just did!” Sarah grinned.
“And I didn’t even notice,” Steve said, shaking his head at himself.
“It’s okay, Daddy. You’re just silly,” Sarah said, patting his chest soothingly.
“Oh, I’m silly, am I?” Steve asked, raising his eyebrows. “I’ll show you silly!” He tickled her sides mercilessly, making her squeal with laughter as she tried to squirm out of his grasp. Even as he soaked up her laughter, he was still listening to make sure she didn’t start wheezing.
“Daddy! Daddy, stop!”
“Alright, alright…” Steve said, grinning and steadying her on his lap. “But that’s what you get for calling me silly, lovebug.”
“But you are silly,” Sarah giggled. “That’s how daddies are supposed to be!”
“I guess that means I’m doing my job right, then.”
Sarah nodded. “Yeah. You’re the best Daddy ever.”
Steve smiled warmly. “And you’re the best daughter ever,” he said, kissing her forehead.
“Thanks, Daddy. I love you,” Sarah said, throwing her arms around Steve’s neck.
“I love you, too, Sarah,” Steve said, wrapping his arms around her and running his fingers through her hair. As they hugged, a garbled message crackled over the intercom, but Steve didn’t bother to try to comprehendit. Instead he read the name painted on the wall of the station as the train came to a standstill.
“Next stop is ours, lovebug. You ready to get off?” Steve asked, pulling away a little to look at Sarah.
“Yeah,” Sarah nodded, sitting up and pushing her hair away from her face. “Is the doctor very far away?”
“Nah, it should only be a block away once we get off. And then...after the doctor, I was thinking that maybe… we could go for ice cream in the park. How’s that sound? Good way to spend our last Friday together before you start your new school?”
Sarah’s face lit up and she nodded eagerly. “Yes! Ice cream!”
“I thought so,” Steve smiled.
A few minutes later they arrived at their stop and Steve guided Sarah off the train, up the stairs, and onto the street. The short walk to the doctor’s office, and the time spent in the waiting room was uneventful, but as soon as the doctor entered the reception it was like time had stopped.
Steve felt his chest tighten, almost as though he was going to have an asthma attack. Because there was no way that Sarah’s new doctor looked like that .
Thick, dark hair neatly slicked back from his face; ice blue eyes; bone structure that could make the gods weep, and a body that said this guy definitely spent some time at the gym. Steve coughed in an attempt to dislodge the pressure in his chest.
The doctor smiled warmly at Sarah and offered her his hand. “What a pretty young lady we have here! What’s your name, sweetie?” he asked.
Sarah smiled shyly at him and shook his hand, looking up at Steve for reassurance.
“It’s okay, lovebug.” Steve nodded.
“I’m Sarah,” she said, her voice soft.
“It’s very nice to meet you, Sarah. I’m Dr. Barnes, and this guy here must be your dad, is that right?”
Sarah nodded. “Yeah.”
Dr. Barnes turned to look at Steve and held out his hand once more. “Dr. Barnes. Good to meet you.”
“Steve Rogers. Good to meet you, too, doctor,” Steve responded, shaking the doctor’s hand. God , his hands were soft. He’s never met a doctor with such soft hands. And they’re strong, too.
Steve was definitely in trouble; he was a sucker for anyone with hands like those. Thankfully, he shouldn’t have to do more than shake hands with Dr. Barnes.
“Now, you’re here as a new patient today, is that right?” Dr. Barnes asked, sitting down in front of the computer.
Sarah looked up at Steve again she’s still a little shy to speak up.
“Yes, that’s right. We just moved back to Brooklyn from DC,” Steve said, giving her a comforting squeeze.
“Well, then, welcome back,” Dr. Barnes said, smiling warmly again. “Your pediatrician from DC sent over a copy of your medical history... I just want to go over some of the big stuff quickly to make sure everything is accurate, alright?”
Steve could practically recite Sarah’s medical history from memory, but he nodded anyway. “Sounds good. Go ahead.”
“Stop me if there’s something incorrect, or you have something to add, okay?” Dr. Barnes glanced up in time to see Steve’s nod of confirmation. “Alright... Sarah Elizabeth Rogers, born May 23, 2012 with an atrial septal defect, which she underwent surgery to correct in June of 2017, evidence of paternal history with the same defect. Allergic to eggs, paternal history present. Diagnosed with asthma in November of 2013, paternal history present. Hospitalized for pneumonia twice, once in December of 2013 and again in February of 2016, paternal history of pneumonia as well. Partial hearing loss, left ear is 50% deficient and right ear is 25% deficient, paternal hearing loss present, and finally mild scoliosis, with paternal history there as well. It looks like neither of you have had a very good time, have you?” Dr. Barnes finished, looking over at them both again.
Sarah shook her head.
“We haven’t, but the good news is I outgrew everything, except for the asthma and the hearing loss, and I haven’t had pneumonia since high school, so I’ve got my fingers crossed that Sarah will outgrow it, too,” Steve said, kissing the top of Sarah’s head.
“If you outgrew it there’s a good chance Sarah will, too, but nothing is ever a sure thing,” Dr. Barnes said before focusing on Sarah again. “Well, I can’t help your daddy much, but we’re going to do our best to make sure you stay as healthy as possible, okay, Sarah? Why don’t you go ahead and hop up onto the exam table for me, and we’ll get you out of here soon, so that you guys can have some fun later. Don’t want to spend a nice day cooped up in here, right?”
“We’re going to the park later,” Sarah said matter-of-factly, giving Dr. Barnes a small smile as she slipped off of Steve’s lap and climbed up onto the exam table. “Daddy said we could get ice cream.”
“Now, I can’t keep you from that, can I? I’ll just check you over really quick, and then we’ll get you out of here.” Dr. Barnes smiled.
“Okay,” Sarah nodded.
Dr. Barnes checkedall of Sarah’s vitals and took a quick look at the curvature of her spine. Steve liked that Dr. Barnes was very gentle, but still didn’t treat Sarah like she was breakable. He also explained everything he was doing, and made sure to be just the right amount of impressed when Sarah knew a medical fact he didn’t expect her to know.
It was a huge relief that Sarah’s new doctor obviously knew how to work with kids; Steve had been worried that they would end up with a grumpy old man who hated everything or a pretentious jerk who only became a doctor for the money. Dr. Barnes really seemed to care about his patients, and Steve couldn’t ask for anything more from a competent doctor.
“Alright, you guys are all set for today,” Dr. Barnes said when he’d finished, heading over to the sink to wash his hands again. “Do you need me to give you referrals for local specialists?”
“That would be great, yeah,” Steve said. “I’m sure all of the ones I saw as kid have all retired by now.”
“You’d be surprised, actually. Some of these docs have been around since the last ice age,” Dr. Barnes laughed. “I’ll be sure to get you to some who are the younger side, though. Friendlier, you know?”
“Thank you,” Steve said. “I really appreciate it.”
“It’s not a problem at all. I’ll get that together for you while you’re checking out, and I think I’ll see you again in two months, unless anything changes, okay?”
“Alright,” Steve said, standing up and shaking Dr. Barnes’ hand again. “It was good to meet you, Dr. Barnes, and thank you again.”
“Good to meet you, too,” Dr. Barnes said, gripping Steve’s hand firmly. He then offered his hand to Sarah. “And it was good to meet you, Sarah. Make sure you have lots of cherries on your ice cream for me, okay?”
Sarah wrinkled her nose a bit as she shook Dr. Barnes’ hand. “I don’t like cherries. Can I have rainbow sprinkles instead?”
Dr. Barnes laughed. “If your daddy says it’s okay, then sure.”
“If I said no to rainbow sprinkles, I think she’d disown me,” Steve said gravely.
“And she’d be right,” Dr. Barnes said, just as seriously. “Rainbow sprinkles are serious business.”
“The most serious,” Steve agreed.
“Definitely,” Dr. Barnes nodded. “And I’ll let you guys get to it. You have a good day, and good luck in school this year, Sarah!”
“Thanks,” Sarah said, giving Dr. Barnes a little wave as they walked towards reception and the doctor headed toward his next appointment.
“He seemed nice, didn’t he, lovebug?” Steve asked as they waited to make her next appointment.
“Yeah. I liked him,” Sarah nodded. “He didn’t talk to me like I was a little baby.”
“That’s because he knew you’re a young lady, not a little baby.”
“He must be real smart, then. Lots of other doctors didn’t know to do that,” Sarah said.
“I think that since he’s really smart, that means he’ll be a really good doctor, right?” Steve asked.
“Uh-huh. You have to be smart to be a good doctor,” Sarah confirmed.
“I think we’ll keep him then,” Steve said, taking Sarah’s hand and giving it a squeeze.
Steve was thrilled Sarah was making new friends. Of course he was. He just wasn’t used to this whole sleepover thing. He’d nearly turned around twice on his way home to go and pick her back up.
Now he was twitchy, constantly checking his phone just in case he somehow missed a call from Sarah saying she needed him to come pick her up. Needless to say, his plans of grading papers tonight were shot.
He didn’t normally go to the gym at this time of day, but he was going to go insane with worry if he didn’t work off some of his nervous energy, and besides, it was raining too hard to entertain the thought of running outside.
Once he got to the gym, he hit the treadmill hard, his music turned up loud as he tried to lose himself in the rhythm of his feet hitting the belt.
As he jogged, Steve’s gaze wandered around the gym, taking in the unfamiliar faces of the evening crowd. There was definitely a younger vibe to the people at this time of day, and Steve didn’t recognize anyone. At least, not until he looked over to the rowing machine and stumbled over his own feet, nearly falling off the treadmill after recognizing one Dr. James Barnes.
And damn if he didn’t somehow look even better drenched in sweat and in gym clothes than he did in that white coat. Fortunately, or rather unfortunately (depending on how he looked at the situation) the rowing machines were situated right in front of a wall of mirrors, which gave Steve a great view of Dr. Barnes from all angles. He watched the doctor’s muscles bunch and relax, transfixed as he began to imagine those strong arms wrapped around him and holding him close.
Steve had no idea how long he’d been watching Dr. Barnes when he noticed he’d been caught. Barnes’ eyes were locked on him in the mirror and when Steve met his gaze he looked away quickly, feeling his cheeks go red. He very pointedly did not look over in the direction of the rowing machines after that, wishing that the floor would open up and swallow his whole treadmill, and him along with it.
He decided to wait ten minutes before he hightailed it, too embarrassed to stay after being caught blatantly staring at his daughter’s doctor. Maybe he would need to switch Sarah to one of the other doctors in the office… she would be disappointed that they couldn’t visit Dr. Barnes again, but honestly,anything that could keep him from having to have a conversation about his staring was a valid option at the moment.
Steve was just starting his (albeit slightly rushed) cooldown, when someone stood in front of his treadmill. He looked up and would have tripped over his feet (again), if the belt hadn’t slowed to a walk.
“Mr. Rogers,” Dr. Barnes said, grinning and leaning against the back of the control panel.
“Dr. Barnes!” Steve said, yanking his headphones off and trying not to look guilty. “Fancy meeting you here…”
“Yeah, didn’t expect to see you here either. You just join?” Dr. Barnes asked.
“No, uh, I joined as soon as we moved back to Brooklyn,” Steve said. “I usually come in the morning once I drop Sarah off at school. Friday nights are normally our hang-out nights, y’know? We just get some food and watch a movie or play a game or something. But she has a sleepover tonight. It’s actually her first sleepover, so I’m a bit nervous about it because this is the first night she’s been somewhere without me, and I’m worried she’ll have an asthma attack or she won’t take her meds right, and I had to get my mind off of it somehow, and running seemed like the best idea and--I’m … I’m rambling, aren’t I?”
Steve blushed deeply, embarrassed at what had just poured out of his mouth. He really didn’t need to spill all his worries to his daughter’s pediatrician, especially right after he’d been caught blatantly staring at the man. At some point during the word-vomit, his treadmill had stopped completely, leaving him standing stupidly on the belt.
“Maybe a little,” Dr. Barnes said, shrugging slightly. “I get it, though. I pretty much helped raise my baby sister and worrying about her was definitely a constant. I can’t imagine what it’s like as an actual parent.”
“Yeah, it’s not easy,” Steve said, running his hand through his sweaty hair.
“Well, you do a pretty good job as far as I’m concerned. Sarah’s a lucky little girl to have a dad like you,” Dr. Barnes told him.
Steve felt his cheeks go hot, and he hoped that Dr. Barnes couldn’t tell the flush wasn’t from the exertion of working out. “Thanks, Dr. Barnes, but I really just do what Sarah needs me to do.”
“Unfortunately, that’s a bar that not every parent want to meet,” Dr. Barnes said. “And since I’m not working I’m not Dr. Barnes. Call me Bucky.”
“Bucky?” Steve asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah, it’s a nickname. Short for Buchanan,” Dr. Barnes—Bucky—said. “My parents were real history nerds; thought it was a good idea to name me after a random president nobody really remembers. There are too many James’ in the world, and Buchanan is a mouthful, so Bucky.”
“Fair enough, but if I’m calling you Bucky then you have to call me Steve. Mr. Rogers makes me sound like I should be wearing red cardigans all the time and talking with puppets.”
“Hey! Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood was a great show,” Bucky protested, laughing.
“I’m not saying it wasn’t,” Steve said, holding his hands up. “But I work with a bunch of smart-aleck college kids; if I don’t say something about it, I’d never hear the end of it.”
“I don’t know if acknowledging it actually helps you any, Steve. They definitely talk about it behind your back,” Bucky said with a grin.
“You’re probably right, but at least this way I don’t have to hear it,” Steve laughed.
“I guess so,” Bucky conceded. “But college kids… you a professor or something?”
“Yeah. Art history mostly, but I’m doing a couple of hands-on classes, too,” Steve told him.
Bucky whistled. “Very fancy there, Mr. Rogers. Or should I say, Professor Rogers?” he asked, his eyes sparkling with mischief. It was a good look on him, and Steve had to swallow thickly before he could speak.
“Not all that fancy, really. It’s mostly grading tests and essays, and giving the same lecture three times in a week. I’d rather just make my own art, but there’s no guarantee that the bills will get paid on an artist’s salary, and there’s no insurance, either,” Steve shrugged. “I managed to find the only job around that will do both of those things, more or less, and still let me spend time with Sarah. Besides, I’m pretty sure everyone would consider a doctor fancier than a professor any day.”
“You got me there,” Bucky laughed. “But being a pediatrician ain’t all that glamorous, either. I’ve been covered with more kinds of bodily fluids than I ever want to think about.”
“Well, now I’m thinking about what kind of fluids you could mean, so thanks for that,” Steve said, shuddering in sympathy.
“Glad I could be of service,” Bucky said, grinning again. “And what about Sarah’s mom? She a professor, too?”
Steve sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Nah, Sharon is a secret agent or something, I don’t know exactly. Last time I talked to her about anything other than Sarah I think she was at the CIA, and that must have been at least two years ago.”
Bucky frowned. “She doesn’t see Sarah regularly?”
“No, her job is more important to her, and she’s not really the ‘mom’ type, anyway. We figured it would be better for Sarah if Sharon just wasn’t in the picture, rather than constantly coming in and out of her life at irregular times. Less disappointment for everyone that way,” Steve explained, sighing.
“That’s… that’s real rough, Steve,” Bucky said quietly.
“It’s not that bad. I really don’t think I’d change anything about the whole thing,” Steve shrugged. “Sarah’s happy, as far as I can tell, and that’s all that really matters.”
“You’re a real good dad, Steve,” Bucky said, reaching out to squeeze Steve’s shoulder. “We need more guys like you in the world.”
“Thanks,” Steve said, giving Bucky a small smile.
They were both quiet for a few moments after that, and Steve was casting his mind around for something else to say when Bucky cleared his throat.
“So, have you still got anything else you’re planning on doing, or are you heading out?” Bucky asked.
“I was actually headed out,” Steve said, pointedly not thinking about how Bucky’s muscles moved while he’d been rowing.
Bucky grinned. “Yeah, I just finished up, too. You want a ride somewhere?”
“A ride? That would be great,” Steve answered before he could stop himself.
Right now it was a toss up as to whether this was going to be the stupidest thing he’d ever done, or the smartest.
“Great,” Bucky said, his smile somehow becoming even more dazzling. “I just need to grab my stuff from the locker room, and we can get going.”
“Okay,” Steve said, trailing after Bucky towards the locker room.
By the time they’d both grabbed their things, Steve still couldn’t figure out why he’s agreed to torture himself this way. He figured as soon as they got in the car Bucky was planning on asking him about his awkward staring, and he was dreading it.
“So, where did you park?” Steve asked, looking around the parking garage.
“Right here,” Bucky said, nodding at a gleaming blue Indian motorcycle as he strode towards it.
“That’s yours?” Steve asked, impressed. “She’s gorgeous.”
“Yeah, she’s mine,” Bucky grinned, pulling a helmet and leather jacket from his bag. “Sounds like you’re a bike guy, Steve.”
“I used to be,” Steve admitted, leaning down to get a closer look at the bike’s engine. “But it’s kinda hard to put a car seat on a motorcycle.”
“What did you have?” Bucky asked.
“’09 Harley Night Train. That was my baby before Sarah came along,” he said. “I miss it, but I definitely got something way better in the end.”
“Yeah, Sarah’s an amazing kid,” Bucky agreed.
“She really is,” Steve said, smiling fondly to himself.
Bucky swung one leg over the bike and held the helmet out to Steve. “You gonna look at her all day, or d’you want to ride her?” he asked with a smirk.
“What do you think?” Steve asked, raising an eyebrow as he took the helmet.
Seeing Bucky’s bike had completely derailed him from worrying about his decision to accept Bucky’s invitation for a ride, but it all came crashing back as soon as he climbed onto the bike behind Bucky and he was faced with having to wrap his arms around Bucky’s waist.
Steve hadn’t been this close to someone he was attracted to in years, especially not to someone who he had a crush on. Apparently he no longer had any idea how to do something like this, because he was completely frozen with fear of giving his crush away even more or doing something stupid or awkward.
“You might want to hold on, Steve,” Bucky said over his shoulder, a smirk evident in his voice as he turned the key in the bike’s ignition and kicked it into life.
“Right,” Steve said, raising his voice to be heard over the roar of the engine and wrapping his arms around Bucky’s middle, careful to hold on as far as possible from any potentially awkward locations.
Once Steve had shouted his address to Bucky they were off, and Steve clung a bit more tightly to Bucky’s middle.
Steve had always been a bike guy, and he wasn’t ashamed to admit that he had frequently imagined a scene just like this one; clinging on to a handsome guy on the back of his motorcycle as they drove somewhere, preferably while they were on a date. Obviously he and Bucky weren’t on a date, but Steve had to admit to himself that it felt just as good as he’d imagined it would. The only thing that would make it better was if they were on a date, but the chances of that ever happening were slim to none.
It was nice to think about, though.
Thanks to Bucky weaving expertly in and out of traffic, they made it to Steve’s building in less than 20 minutes. It was much too short for Steve’s liking, not only because he enjoyed being so close to Bucky, but also because he hadn’t realized just how much he missed the feeling of freedom that came with being on a motorcycle.
Steve was a bit surprised when Bucky didn’t just drop him at the front door; instead he pulled into a parking space around the corner and cut the engine.
“This you?” he asked, turning to look at Steve.
“This is me,” Steve confirmed, reluctantly unwrapping his arms from Bucky and swinging himself off of the bike. “Thanks for the ride, Buck.”
“Hey, it’s no problem,” Bucky assured him as he took his helmet back. “It was real good to get to know you a bit, Steve.”
“Good to get to know you, too,” Steve said, offering Bucky his hand.
“And tell Sarah I hope she had fun at her sleepover,” Bucky said, shaking Steve’s hand.
“I will,” Steve said, stepping back from the curb as Bucky started the bike again.
Bucky gave him a quick wave as he drove off, and Steve had to force himself to turn and heat into the building instead of watching wistfully as Bucky disappeared into the chaos of the city.
Steve had thought he’d been very clear when he’d explained her allergy to her friend Raelynn’s mom, Vivian. No eggs, nothing with eggs in it. He hadn’t even told her that baked goods were fine, not wanting to complicate things, but he was definitely regretting not giving Vivian the exhaustive list of foods that Sarah couldn’t have—he’d thought giving her the list would have been an insult to her intelligence, but obviously she could have used it.
She had called Steve in hysterics to tell him that Sarah was having a bad reaction, and he had had to force himself to be calm as he told Vivian to have Sarah use her EpiPen and to give her Benadryl.
They had been fortunate in that Sarah had never had a reason to use her EpiPen before (mostly due to Steve’s own experience as a kid and his subsequent careful monitoring of all the food that Sarah ate), but Steve had also made sure that Sarah knew exactly how to use the auto-injector just in case of this exact situation.
Once he was able to make sure the immediate reaction was as in-control as a parent who was inexperienced with food allergies could make it, he’d instructed Vivian to call 911, and to have Sarah taken to New York Presbyterian. After getting a very shaky agreement from Vivian, Steve ended the call and dialed the emergency number that Bucky had given him as he made his way into a cab.
“This is Dr. Barnes,” Bucky answered on the second ring.
“Bucky, it’s Steve. I’m really sorry to call you over the weekend, but Sarah had a reaction to something she ate at a friend’s house and she’s headed to Presbyterian. Can you meet us there?” Steve asked anxiously, running a hand through his hair.
“Don’t apologize, Steve, of course I’ll meet you. I can’t leave a patient hanging, can I?” Bucky asked.
“Guess not,” Steve said, his voice trembling slightly.
“You okay, Steve? You’re not completely freaking out, are you?” Bucky asked, his voice gentle.
“I think I’m keeping the worry to a dull roar,” Steve said, surprising himself with the bit of humor that crept into his voice. He’d been on the verge of tearing up when Bucky had answered the phone—he’d never been so far away when Sarah had had an emergency and he did not like the complete lack of control—but somehow the casual way that Bucky was speaking to him was more reassuring than the more professional tone he’d had when he answered the phone.
“Alright. Just remember if you need to take a minute later on to get yourself together, nobody’s gonna judge you for it. You gotta be calm and collected, so that Sarah can focus on getting better,” Bucky said gently.
“Yeah, I know. Just remind me again later, alright? As soon as I see Sarah I’ll probably forget about everything else,” Steve sighed, running a hand through his hair.
“Don’t worry, I’ll remind you,” Bucky assured him. “But right now I gotta go. I’ve got a patient who’s headed to the hospital, and her dad wants me to meet ‘em there; he’d be pissed if I took too long talking on the phone with you.”
Steve managed a weak laugh. “Alright, I get it. I’ll see you soon.”
“See you soon, Steve.”
For the rest of the ride to the hospital Steve tried very hard to keep himself from thinking about what could be happening to Sarah in the hospital—he did not need the mental image of a team of doctors giving her CPR. And he was pretty successful, too, until he stepped into the ER and saw the gaggle of nurses that were trying to calm Vivian down from her hysterics.
He rushed over and tapped one of the nurses on the shoulder. “Excuse me, I’m Sarah Rogers’ dad. Is she okay?” he asked worriedly.
The nurse’s face eased a bit from the disgruntled look that Vivian’s antics had forced it into. “Sarah is doing well right now, sir. She had a pretty severe reaction, but she’s stable and we’re keeping an eye on her. You can go in and see her; we were just keeping her away from… this,” he explained, gesturing to Vivian.
“Thank you,” Steve said, already heading for the door that had been labeled with Sarah’s name.
“You’re welcome, sir,” the nurse nodded. “Someone will be in in a few minutes to give you more details.”
“I appreciate it,” Steve told him gratefully. “And her pediatrician should be here soon: Dr. James Barnes.”
“We’ll be sure to send him in when he gets here,” the nurse promised.
“Thank you,” Steve said again before ducking into Sarah’s room and pulling the door so it was only open a crack.
All things considered, Sarah didn’t look too bad. Her skin was splotchy and red with a few hives scattered over her face, her eyes were swollen, and she was wearing an oxygen mask and had an IV needle in her hand, but overall, she just looked tired. Her friend Raelynn was sitting next to her bed and holding her hand. She was obviously handling the whole situation much better than her mother, and Steve was glad that Sarah had found such a good friend.
“Hey, lovebug. How are you doing?” he asked gently, taking a seat on the edge of Sarah’s bed and carefully holding the hand that had the IV line in it.
“M’ throat ‘urts,” Sarah answered, her voice more of a croak than a voice and slightly muffled by the oxygen mask. “’nd my chest.”
“Yeah, I bet they do,” Steve said, bending his head to kiss her fingers. “Anything else? You breathing okay?” he paused, giving Sarah the chance to nod.
“Your tummy hurt?” She shrugged.
“Your head feel funny?” A shake of her head.
“That’s good,” he said, giving her a little smile. “I called Dr. Barnes and he’s going to come and help you feel better, and you even have a really good friend like Raelynn to keep you company while you wait for him.”
Raelynn perked up a little bit at the compliment, and Sarah smiled and nodded again.
“Do you have any questions about what happened to Sarah, Raelynn?” Steve asked.
Raelynn shrugged and looked at the floor.
“Is Sarah gunna be okay?” she asked after a moment.
“Yeah, she’s going to be okay,” Steve told her, using the words to try and reassure himself, as well as Raelynn and Sarah. Of course, Steve knew there was always the chance of a secondary reaction even now, but that’s why they were at the hospital. They’d take care of Sarah. Whatever she needed.
“Good,” Raelynn said.
“Anything else you wanna ask me?” Steve gave her a moment to think, but when Raelynn didn’t say anything else he reached out and squeezed her shoulder.
“Okay. If you think of anything, you can ask Sarah or me, alright?
“Okay,” she nodded.
“Good,” Steve said, giving her another small smile. “I’m going to go talk to your mom now, but you come get me if you think of another question or if Sarah needs me, yeah? I’ll be just outside.”
“Yeah, okay,” Raelynn said.
Steve smiled and squeezed Raelynn’s shoulder again before turning his attention back to Sarah.
“I’ll be right back, lovebug, hopefully with Dr. Barnes,” he said, standing up and kissing her forehead.
Out in the hall, things seemed to have quieted down a bit. Steve looked around and saw Vivian sitting a little ways down the hall in one of the hospital’s uncomfortable looking chairs.
“Vivian,” he called, jogging over to her.
Vivian startled at the sound of his voice, her eyes wide as she looked up at him.
“Steve! I’m so sorry! I don’t know what happened! I’m so, so sorry!” she said, her voice on the verge of becoming hysterical again.
“I’m not angry with you, Vivian,” he assured, taking a seat next to her. “Accidents happen. I just want to ask you a few questions, so we can try and work out what caused her reaction.”
“I don’t know,” Vivian repeated, shaking her head. “We were just eating dinner. I made a new type of grilled cheese Raelynn wanted to try—she’s obsessed with grilled cheese for some reason—and I figured it would be a good dinner to make tonight because there are no eggs in grilled cheese! I really don’t know what happened!”
Steve frowned slightly. What could possibly be in a grilled cheese that would have set Sarah’s allergies off? He really hoped that she hadn’t developed something new; she already had so much to deal with, and adding another allergy to her list of ailments would just crush her. “Are you sure? They didn’t have anything else to eat tonight?”
“No, nothing besides apple slices,” Vivian insisted. “Apple slices and the grilled cheese.”
“You don’t still have the recipe, do you?”
She nodded. “I think I can probably pull it up on my phone.”
“That would be great,” Steve told her.
“I have it on my Pinterest,” Vivian explained. “Raelynn just loves grilled cheese, but I get sick of having the same thing all the time so I’ve been looking for new recipes; some of them even manage to get some vegetables into her, because I swear, she’s the pickiest eater…”
Vivian kept talking, but Steve wasn’t focused on her anymore; Bucky had just walked into the ER and Steve was busy trying to keep himself from thinking too much about Bucky’s outfit.
He’d obviously not been planning on working today because he was dressed much more casually than Steve had ever seen him (aside from that time at the gym, of course) and he looked really good. He was wearing dark skinny jeans, a tight white t-shirt, and he had a black and brown bomber jacket thrown on over everything. It was definitely distracting, and Steve felt guilty for pining after his daughter’s doctor while she was in the ER recovering from an allergy attack.
“Hold on, Vivian,” Steve said, pushing aside his attraction and standing up from his seat.
“Bucky!” he called, waving to catch Bucky’s attention. He had stopped at the front desk to talk with the nurse working reception, but when he heard Steve, Bucky turned around and headed over right away.
“Hey, Steve. Sorry it took so long to get here,” Bucky said, offering Steve his hand. “How’s Sarah doing?”
“She’s doing okay, but obviously you’re the expert,” Steve said, accepting Bucky’s handshake. “Buck, this is Vivian Frederick, she’s Sarah’s friend’s mom. Vivian, this is Sarah’s pediatrician, Dr. Barnes.”
“Good to meet you, Mrs. Frederick,” Bucky said, graciously holding out his hand for Vivian to take. “I just wish it was under better circumstances.”
“So do I,” Vivian said, shaking Bucky’s hand and looking charmed. “Are you taking new patients? I’d love for Raelynn to have a doctor willing to come out to the hospital over the weekend.”
“I am taking new patients. Just go ahead and call my office and we can get you guys all set up,” Bucky smiled, pulling a business card out of his wallet and handing it to Vivian with a touch to her shoulder.
“We were just working on figuring out what happened,” Steve explained, biting back the ridiculous surge of jealousy he felt at the almost flirtatious way Bucky spoke to Vivian. “Did you have any luck finding that recipe, Vivian?”
“Yes, I found it,” Vivian said, holding out her phone to Steve. “You look at it, I won’t know what to look for.”
Steve took the phone and read through the recipe. It really wasn’t a recipe so much as a long list of cheeses, including a few he’d never heard of, and he was about to hand the phone back and ask Vivian to text him a link so he could go over it later, when he saw the problem.
“ Mayonnaise? You used mayo on their grilled cheeses?” he asked, relieved that there was a simple answer to what caused Sarah’s allergy.
“Yeah, I know it’s a little weird, but it’s supposed to make the sandwiches extra crispy,” Vivian explained. “But did you find anything that could have set off Sarah’s reaction?”
Steve looked at her incredulously, trying to wrap his head around Vivian’s obliviousness.
“Mayo is made using egg yolk, Mrs. Frederick,” Bucky told her, giving her a strange look.
“No it’s not! Mayo is… mayo is just mayo!” Vivian insisted.
“Tell you what, Vivian, why don’t you look up a recipe for homemade mayo while Dr. Barnes and I go check on Sarah?” Steve suggested, already turning to head back into Sarah’s room. He really didn’t have the energy to worry about Vivian and her misplaced facts right now.
Steve knocked softly on Sarah’s door before he stepped in and went right back to his seat on the edge of her bed. Bucky went right to Sarah’s chart and began looking it over.
Sarah had drifted off since Steve had left after checking in on her, and Steve hated to wake her up, but Bucky needed her awake to look her over.
“Hey, lovebug, can you wake up for me?” Steve asked softly, giving Sarah’s shoulder a gentle squeeze.
Sarah blinked awake slowly, looking a bit confused and slightly scared.
“Everything’s okay, Sarah,” Steve assured her. “You had an allergic reaction and you’re in the hospital, remember?”
After a moment, Sarah nodded slowly.
“Good,” Steve continued, smoothing Sarah’s hair away from her face. “Dr. Barnes is here to see you. Can he take a look at you?”
Sarah looked past Steve to Bucky and gave him a little wave. Bucky took that as his cue to step up to the side of the bed and crouch down by Sarah’s side.
“Hi, Sarah,” Bucky said gently. “Your daddy told me you had a bit of an allergy problem tonight. I know it’s going to hurt your throat a bit, but can you tell me a little about what’s going on with you right now?”
“Really tired,” Sarah told him hoarsely. “Chest hurts… and m’ throat.”
“Yeah, I bet,” Bucky nodded. “I’m going to listen to your chest now, okay?”
Sarah nodded.
Bucky pulled his stethoscope out of his pocket and looped it around his neck before he fiddled with the monitors for a moment to silence their beeping.
“Alright, Sarah, breathe deep for me,” he requested, leaning down and putting the stethoscope in his ears.
Sarah breathed as deeply as she could, and Steve winced when she wheezed a little.
Bucky continued his examination; taking a listen to Sarah’s heart, carefully feeling her throat, and looking at the splotches of fading rash on her face and in her throat.
“You look like you’re recovering pretty well, Sarah,” Bucky said, giving her foot a pat. “I know being in the hospital is no fun, but I want you to stay here for a little while more; at least until you can breathe without wheezing for me, okay?”
“Yeah, okay,” Sarah said softly.
Bucky nodded and gave her a reassuring smile. “Alright. You get some sleep now; that will help your throat feel better.”
Sarah nodded and snuggled deeper into her blankets, closing her eyes again.
While Bucky had checked Sarah over Vivian had snuck in, looking a bit sheepish, to quietly collect Raelynn and to apologize again, which left Steve and Bucky alone with Sarah.
“Thanks again for coming out here over the weekend, Bucky,” Steve said softly, standing and heading out into the hallway so Sarah could sleep.
“It really isn’t a problem, Steve. It’s actually kinda my job to make sure my patients are taken care of,” Bucky said.
“I know, but still. I took you away from whatever you had planned for the night,” Steve said.
“All I had planned tonight was sitting in front of my tv in my pajamas. Trust me, you didn’t interrupt anything interesting or important,” Bucky chuckled. “And actually, since I’m here I have another patient upstairs on the pediatric ward I want to check in on.”
“See? Now you’re working on a Saturday night,” Steve said, giving Bucky a look.
Bucky shook his head with what Steve might have called a find smile in another situation, with another person. “Steve, it’s fine. I do my job because I love it, and I never mind doing it any time I need to.”
Steve still wasn’t quite convinced, but Bucky looked so sincere he decided to drop it. “Alright, I guess I get it.”
“Good,” Bucky said, clapping Steve on the shoulder. “I’m going to let you sit with Sarah a bit, maybe get some rest and wrap your head around what happened, okay? I’m going to go check on my other patient and then I’ll come back and check on Sarah again.”
“Alright. I guess I’ll see you in a bit, then,” Steve said, stuffing his hands in his pockets.
“Yeah, I’ll be back soon. And don’t worry any more, she’s doing just fine,” Bucky said reassuringly.
“Thanks, Bucky. I really appreciate it,” Steve said again.
“Yeah, yeah,” Bucky said, waving off Steve’s thanks. “Go keep your girl company, Rogers, and stop being so mushy. Doctor’s orders.”
“Okay, okay,” Steve said, holding his hands up. “I’ll go.”
“Good,” Bucky smiled, giving Steve’s shoulder another squeeze before he turned and headed deeper into the hospital.
Steve padded into Sarah’s room on a Saturday morning, close to the end of the school year and turned the lights on at a low setting, a huge grin on his face.
“Good morning, lovebug,” he said softly, sitting on the side of Sarah’s bed and brushing some stray hairs off of her forehead.
Sarah stirred, brushing Steve’s hand away, but her eyes stayed closed.
“I said, ‘good morning lovebug!’” Steve repeated, a bit louder this time as he tickled her sides. Sarah’s mouth twitched as she tried to feign still being asleep, even as she squirmed away from Steve’s hands.
“Okay, then,” Steve said, sighing dramatically and standing up. “I guess Sarah doesn’t want to have a surprise this morning…”
Sarah managed to stay quiet until he opened the door before she gave in to her curiosity.
“What kind of surprise?” she asked, sitting up in bed.
“The fun kind,” Steve told her. “But if you want to find out any more, you have to get out of bed and get dressed.
Sarah groaned and flopped back into her pillows. “I don’t wanna get dressed, Daddy!”
Steve shrugged. “I guess you don’t want your surprise then,” he said, turning to leave again.
“Can’t I get the surprise in my jammies?” she asked, a pout evident in her voice.
“Nope,” Steve said, popping the ‘p.’ “This surprise isn’t in the apartment, so real clothes are a must.”
Sarah thought about that for a moment, before she groaned and rolled out of bed and shuffled toward the bathroom.
“That’s my girl,” Steve said, ruffling her hair as she passed him. “Brush your teeth, and when you’re done I’ll have an outfit picked out for you.”
“Okay, Daddy,” Sarah said through a yawn as she disappeared into the bathroom.
Steve smiled and hummed to himself as he pulled out Sarah’s clothes for the day, excited for his own surprise.
For weeks Sarah had been asking nearly every day to go to the park, but with the pollen count so high Steve had been keeping her inside as much as possible. It had been killing him all month, having to keep Sarah from doing something fun because he was worried about her health, and he knew he was probably making this into a bigger deal than it needed to be. Sarah would honestly have been thrilled just to be going to the park, but since she’d been asking for so long he’d decided to make a morning out of it and take her for a special breakfast before they hit the park.
Steve himself had been up for a while already, working on a painting he was planning on giving to Sarah for her birthday in August. He’s never minded working on his personal projects around Sarah and his work schedule, but it was still nice to be able to work for several hours with no interruptions.
By the time Sarah was ready to go, Steve had changed out of his paint-stained clothes and into clean ones, as well as cleaned up from his morning coffee. He was about to call to see what Sarah was up to, when she emerged from her bedroom with her hairbrush and a few hair ties.
“Will you put my hair up, Daddy?” she asked, holding the brush out to him.
“Of course, lovebug,” Steve smiled, taking a seat on the couch. Sarah grinned and skipped over to stand between Steve’s legs.
“What kind of style are we doing today?” he asked, taking the brush and starting to work through her hair.
“Um… pig-tail braids,” Sarah said.
“Pig-tail braids it is, then,” Steve agreed.
Unlike a lot of other dads he’d talked to, Steve liked helping Sarah with her hair. He liked being able to spend the time with her, and he liked being able to help her look pretty and feel as confident as possible.
He wrapped the hair tie one last time around Sarah’s last braid and smoothed down a few wisps of hair back into place. “All set, lovebug? You ready to go?”
“Yeah. Do I get to know my surprise now?” she asked hopefully.
“Not yet,” Steve said. “You’ll see when we get there. Go grab your jacket, okay?”
“Okay,” Sarah huffed.
Steve chuckled to himself and followed Sarah to their coat rack to grab his own jacket and to collect his keys and wallet, double checking that he had Sarah’s inhaler and EpiPen.
“And we’re off!” he declared, scooping Sarah up and draping her over his shoulder as he closed the door.
“Daddy! Put me down!” Sarah squealed, squirming and banging her fists against Steve’s back.
“Did someone say something?” Steve asked, pausing for a moment so that Sarah could insist it was her who was talking before he shrugged. “Guess it was just the elevator.”
“Daddy, I’m right here!” Sarah laughed, squirming some more. “I’m talking to you!”
“There it is again! My hearing aid must be acting up,” Steve said, fiddling with the aid with his free hand.
“It’s me! It’s me, Daddy!” Sarah exclaimed.
“Oh! Sarah! Why didn’t you say you were up there? I thought that I was hearing things!” Steve said, acting like he had just noticed Sarah trying her best to wriggle off of his shoulder. He set her down on the elevator floor and brushed off some imaginary dust from her shirt.
“I did tell you! You thought I was the elevator,” Sarah giggled.
“Did I? I guess I just have to pay better attention then, don’t I?” Steve grinned.
“Yeah, you do,” Sarah agreed with another giggle.
Sarah chuckled to himself as they left the elevator, listening contently as Sarah chattered about her friends and what was going on in school as things started to wind down for the year.
They had to take the subway to get to the restaurant, and by the time they were walking from their stop to the restaurant Sarah was absolutely buzzing with excitement.
“What’s your very favorite breakfast, lovebug?” Steve asked as they approached the restaurant.
“Pancakes!” Sarah cheered.
“Well guess what this restaurant has?”
“What?” Sarah asked, her eyes wide.
“They have… Rainbow. Unicorn. Pancakes ,” he told her as they were taken to their seats.
“No way,” she said, her eyes going wider.
“Yes way,” Steve grinned.
“I want rainbow unicorn pancakes!”
“I thought you would,” Steve chuckled.
Their breakfast was a huge success, as far as Steve was concerned. Sarah absolutely loved her pancakes, and Steve’s more classic breakfast of eggs, bacon, sausage, and hash browns was excellent as well.
At this point Sarah would have been perfectly content with her surprise morning, and Steve couldn’t help but grin when he told her that there was a second part to her surprise.
As soon as they got to the park Sarah was off, running right to the playground. Steve smiled after her and found a nice spot on a nearby bench so that he could try and sketch a bit and keep an eye on Sarah at the same time.
In all the times he and Sarah had come to the park, Steve had never managed to sketch much of anything; he always ended up watching Sarah have fun and enjoy being a normal kid. That was honestly one of Steve’s favorite things to do.
Today, though, Steve was more focused on his sketchbook than usual, carefully adding details to his drawing of Sarah lighting up as she realized they were going to the park. Her expression had been so pure and excited, he wanted to capture it forever.
He had nearly finished the sketch when he paused to find Sarah in the throng of kids buzzing around the playground, and his heart stopped when he finally found her off to the side and talking with a random guy in workout gear and a dog.
“Sarah!” Steve called, abandoning his sketchbook on the bench and nearly running over to where she was standing.
“Daddy! Look who I found!” Sarah said, grinning and pointing to the man she’d been talking to. He turned around and waved at Steve, a huge grin in his face, and Steve was finally able to see that it was only Bucky. Steve sighed in relief as he jogged up to them.
“You okay, Steve?” Bucky asked, looking at Steve with concern in his eyes.
“Yeah, I’m okay. I just didn’t know it was you Sarah was talking to; I was freaking out there for a second,” he admitted.
“Oh, crap,” Bucky said, his eyes widening a bit in realization. “I’m sorry, Steve, I didn’t even think about that.”
“It’s not your fault, Buck. That’s just how it is being a parent these days,” Steve sighed.
“You’re not wrong, unfortunately,” Bucky agreed grimly.
“So what were you guys talking about before I showed up?” Steve asked, wanting to move past the awkward moment he had created.
“I asked Dr. Barnes if I could pet his doggy,” Sarah told him, pointing at Bucky’s dog.
Bucky’s dog was a big grey pitbull with a huge dopey grin and a constantly wagging tail, and Steve thought that even someone who didn’t like pits would be won over by this dog.
“Her name is Raisa,” Bucky told them. “And she loves pats and scratches.”
Sarah grinned and held her hand out for Raisa to sniff, which she barely did before she plastered herself to Sarah’s leg.
“She seems like a good girl,” Steve said, watching as Sarah giggled and rubbed Raisa’s ears.
“Yeah, she is,” Bucky said. “She’s the best. She keeps me sane, you know?”
“I get it,” Steve nodded.
“Hey, Sarah, why don’t you and Raisa go play together?” Bucky said, holding out the leash for Sarah to take.
“Really?” Sarah asked, her eyes wide.
“Of course,” Bucky smiled. “She gets tired of playing with me all the time, and you look like a really good fetch player.”
“I would be the best,” Sarah said, taking Raisa’s leash and catching the ball that Bucky tossed her before running off to a more grassy area.
“She’s never going to stop asking for a dog, now,” Steve accused playfully as they watched their girls run off together.
“Then I guess I did my job,” Bucky smirked.
“Come on, Buck, you just gave me a heart attack, and now you put an idea in Sarah’s head? I thought you were nicer than that,” Steve said.
“What can I say? I’m just a terrible person like that,” Bucky said. “How about some coffee to make up for it? My treat.”
“I don’t think that’s fair compensation, but coffee does sound good,” Steve laughed. “Black, with two sugars, please.”
“Great,” Bucky smiled. “I’ll be right back.”
Steve watched for a moment as Bucky walked over to a nearby coffee cart before he headed back to his bench to collect his sketchbook and relocate to a new bench closer to where Sarah and Raisa were playing.
Bucky found him again a few minutes later with two coffee cups in hand.
“So what brings you to the park today,” Bucky asked as he sat down and handed Steve his cup. Steve tried hard not to read too much into the fact that Bucky had sat down close enough that their arms and legs were nearly brushing.
“Sarah’s wanted to go to the park for weeks now, so I thought we’d make a morning out of it,” Steve shrugged, taking a sip of his coffee. “We went and got breakfast at a place that serves rainbow pancakes, she loved that.”
“Sounds pretty nice,” Bucky said.
“Yeah, it has been,” Steve agreed. “Gives us something different to do since she hasn’t had a lot of homework lately and we’ve been stuck inside with all the pollen we’ve had.”
“Yeah, spring is a hard time of year for people with sensitive lungs,” Bucky said sympathetically. “I’ve prescribed a lot of more aggressive allergy meds this year.”
Steve wasn’t entirely sure what to say to that; he didn’t really want to talk about medical things with Bucky, not when they were sitting on a park bench almost like they were friends. Bucky obviously wasn’t sure where to go from there, either, because he was quiet, too.
“Listen, Steve, I know this is going to be a little out there, but I don’t think there are any rules about this sort of thing...” Bucky said eventually, looking a little awkward and scratching the back of his neck.
Steve had no idea what Bucky could be talking about, so he gave him the time he needed to continue.
“Would you want to go on a date with me sometime?” he finally asked.
Steve blinked for a moment, trying to take in Bucky’s words. “What?”
Bucky blew out a long breath and nodded to himself. “Alright, I understand. Dating your daughter’s pediatrician would probably be kinda weird.”
“No, it’s not that, definitely not,” Steve said in a rush. “I just can’t believe that you want to go on a date with me.”
“Are you kidding? You’re an awesome guy, Steve, who wouldn’t want to date you?” Bucky asked, looking a little incredulous.
Steve shrugged. “Nobody’s seemed interested, not once they know about Sarah. Not prepared for that kind of commitment, I guess.”
“Well they don’t know what they missed out on. Sarah’s a great kid, and they would have been lucky to be a part of your lives,” Bucky told him.
“I don’t need them, anyway,” Steve said, giving Bucky a shy smile and reaching over to take his hand. “I’d love to have dinner with you, Bucky.”
“Yeah?” Bucky said, squeezing Steve’s fingers.
“Yeah,” Steve confirmed. “But only if you pick me up on your bike.”
“Is that the only reason you want to go on a date with me, Rogers?” Bucky asked playfully, raising an eyebrow.
“Not the only reason,” Steve grinned. “But it’s definitely the main one, yeah.”
“I don’t blame you, it is a pretty awesome bike,” Bucky grinned.
“Eh, they guy who owns it isn’t too bad, either, I guess,” Steve said, getting an elbow in the ribs in return.
“Watch it, you, or I’ll just show up in a taxi,” Bucky threatened.
“And I’d probably still go to dinner with you,” Steve grinned, loving the way that he and Bucky were already able to joke so easily with each other. He loved being in easy going relationships, and he already had a good feeling about this one.
He couldn’t wait to see where this went.