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His sheets lay on his bed still folded he was going to make his bed but instead, Oliver just sits against the wall of his prison cell just starring at the wall and thinking about everything that had happened, thinking about everything that went wrong in his life.
Oliver pulls his knees up to his chest as close and as tight as he can and lays his head on his knees.
He didn't want to be here, but what choice did he have his friends and family shouldn't have to go to prison for something he brought them into.
Oliver's thoughts lead to the last eleven years of his life and he knows that none of this would have happened if he never got on that boat, If only he stayed behind things would be a lot different. He knows he wouldn't have all these emotional, mental, and, physical scars.
And the Lance family has suffered so much because of him, Oliver's surprise Sara doesn't hate him. Sara had gone through so much because of him between the island, the assassins, dying, and being brought back to life but she doesn't hate him even though
Quentin had suffered just as much. he lost his daughters, his wife, and his partner not to mention everything that happened with Damien darhk and now his dead just like Laurel.
With Laurel things were hard he tried to keep her out of it but she wanted to help, he tried to keep her safe but there was only so much he could do and now she's gone because he couldn't protect her.
What about his own family? Well, his step-dad Walter left and his mother is dead. Thea went through so much when all she wanted was for things to go back to normal, but thanks to Malcolm that didn't get to happen, but Oliver is just as much to blame. Thea almost died because of him and then she joined the team which was just bad enough and now she went off with Roy and Nyssa because of Malcolm.
Tommy his best friend who is dead as well. There was a time when Oliver blamed Malcolm for that but in the end no matter how hard Oliver tries he always thinks it's his fault.
His son William seems better off without him in his life. William has been in danger a few times and his mother is dead all because of him.
Oliver's vision is blurry from the tears in his eyes, he's trying not to cry but it's hard when he thinks about his life and how everyone is affected by it. Oliver closes his eyes and lets the tears fall down his cheeks. Oliver buries his face in his arms.
Team Arrow is what Felicity called it.
John Diggle was the first one to join but it wasn't that bad everything they went through didn't hurt John but as the years went on Oliver only seem to hurt him and betrayed his trust. The nerve damage seems to be just another way to hurt him.
Felicity Smoak was the second to join.
Oliver should have listened to John when he said it was a bad idea to have her on the team because he couldn't protect her from all the times she was in danger but Oliver did a good job at getting her out of those situations. Felicity deserves so much more than him but even after all that she went through she comes back just like John.
Roy Harper was a kid who was lost and thought that the Green Arrow had the answers but all he ever did was put him through hell. Roy could be living a happy life but he took the fall for Oliver.
Curtis Holt... What is there to say he came in on this by himself nothing was Oliver's fault, but what about Paul? He left Curtis wasn't that Chase's plan to attack Curtis and Paul so the truth is out there and Paul could leave him?
Oliver rubs his eyes and wipes his cheeks. the tears seem to stop for now. He thinks about the rest of his team and the recent events that took place.
Rene Ramirez is just another person who joined his crusade. Rene wanted to help the city so Oliver gave him that chance but then the FBI happened. Oliver would probably handle the situation differently if given the chance. Rene just wanted his daughter back and he knows he'll do the same thing if he was in Rene's shoes.
Evelyn Sharp. She had every reason to be mad after all her parents died and Oliver told her killing wasn't the answer he should have been honest with her. She was an innocent girl who just needs a home.
Dinah Drake was his second chance One he messed up on by betraying her trust. He should have trusted her more, he should have done things differently and been there with her when Vince was in trouble but he wasn't.
Oliver takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. To think about the things that hurt him and his team it hurts knowing that none of it would have happened if they never met him. What would his life be like without his team? Oliver's not sure but he knows he'll still meet Felicity because she worked for Queen Consolidated and what about Diggle would they still meet? Well, Diggle did work private security and did work for his family for a bit but the rest of his team he would have never met.
It bothers Oliver to know that if that's how things turned out he would have never met the people he calls friends but it also means he would have never been on that island not once even if it means he'll never know Slade, Shado, Yao Fei, Anatoly, and Taiana.
He certainly would have never met Amanda Waller and went to Hong Kong. He would've never met Tatsu, Maseo, Akio, and Mai. Would A.R.G.U.S have found someone else to do the job? Maybe they would have done a better job than he did
What about Russia? If he never met Taiana than he would have never gone, he wouldn't be a part of the Bratva and he wouldn't have killed Kovar. How would things turn out? Maybe Taiana's mother would still be alive.
Oliver took another deep breath trying not to think about it anymore about the tragedies that make his life. Maybe it's for the best Oliver would still be home living a normal life sure he won't know most of these people but maybe that's a good thing, Oliver wouldn't mess up their lives.
Oliver runs his hands over his face. Regret is one thing but it seems he's trying to convince himself that these people would be living happy lives. Oliver gets up and walks over to his bed starring at the sheets. He thought about a lot but not about Barry probably because there was nothing that hurt Barry but the young man looks up to him and it seems to rely on him much like how Felicity relies on him but he would have never met Barry.
Oliver's eyes filled with tears again. To think about all he's been through with everyone, to think about a life he could have had, and to think about who he wouldn't know if he did have that life. The eleven years of hell he went through and there's one question on Oliver's mind and he's not sure if the answer is yes or no.
Was it worth it?