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Language:
English
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Published:
2018-06-06
Updated:
2022-06-30
Words:
61,884
Chapters:
30/?
Comments:
89
Kudos:
306
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6,742

honey and oats

Summary:

how long does forever last to an artificial life form?

aka- a human teen with terrible habits and a longing for his happy ending gets swept off his feet by the very first biological-android hybrid, who also happens to be the clumsiest, shyest being to ever exist.
all things considered, it’s your typical cliche story in which the protagonist’s black and white world fills to the brim with colour.

Chapter 1: so lonely it hurts my dick, fam

Chapter Text

he watched his friend stretch silently. 

“jimin, what you need is to settle down and find someone. get to know people. bond. i don’t know! maybe you’ll stop feeling so fucking empty, then.”

jimin glared at hoseok through the mirror. “well, easy for you to say. your soulmate didn’t fucking abandon you— for the third reincarnation in a row! you know how shitty that feels? it’s so fucking lame, hoseok. i’d much rather enjoy my involuntary freedom, play around a little. no strings attached. but!” the smaller threw his hands in the air dramatically. “alas! i’m running out of prey! or maybe energy to find prey. not sure. point is, i gotta get the succ soon, my dude. my dick is lonely.”

”your soul is lonely,” hoseok wailed, “not your dick! ugh!” 

jimin sighed. “i need someone to fuck. hell, i’ll be the bottom. it’s coo. i just need me some TLC.”

”well, there’s always jin? he wouldn’t mind.”

jimin hummed at the suggestion, actually considering it to hoseok’s surprise (and disgust). “nah. jinnie baby is too vanilla, too sweet.”

”he’s a bigger top than you, you little shit.”

”but he’s into cuddling before and after sex. i don’t want any of that shit. i like my sex how i like my oatmeal, hoseok.”

”hot, sticky, and part of a complete breakfast to get your day started?”

jimin giggled. “cold, raw, and lacking any sweetness.”

”bitch, who the fuck eats oatmeal like that?! jeez, you need your soulmate back, you’re going crazy!” hoseok winced at the way jimin’s eyes hardened as he dropped into perfect splits. “i-i’m sorry, chim. that was insensitive—.”

”it’s... it’s fine.”

”does it hurt?”

”sometimes i really can’t breathe,” jimin admitted, frowning. “i’m getting tired. what did i do for my soulmate to have abandoned me? who does that? isn’t it hurting him, too?”

”m-most likely.”

”what if i do become crazy?” jimin whispered, just loud enough for hoseok to hear. “it’s already been centuries. i don’t know where it went wrong or how... hoseok, i’m scared.”

hoseok looked down, hopelessness preventing him from even meeting his friend’s gaze. 

“i’m sorry, chim.”