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12am and it’s been a long, long night. The match is over. Bill’s flight barely arrived in time for him to see it, lungs already gasping for breath from Bill hurrying to get to his seat in the arena. Roman did so well, fought so hard. His boy gave the night everything he had, but it was rough and Roman was tired, tired in the way only Bill could understand. He hated when the crowd wasn’t liking Roman, all their venom pouring into him, into both of them. Bill had to drive them back to the hotel he had booked for them, Roman being too far gone to even speak let alone get behind the wheel. On the ride there gently he asked Roman, “you with me, baby?” An uncomfortable, but understandable silence hung between them for an agonizing moment before Bill moves a hand from the steering wheel. “Hold my hand if you are with me, baby,” he said, his voice still soft. He feels Roman’s hand rest atop his and Bill relaxes into his seat with a weary smile, biting back the urge to start crying. “Thank you, baby.”
The hotel lobby is quiet tonight, no one there to blink twice at them, gawk at or harass them as Bill guides them to the elevator. Stepping inside they stand beside one another, both staring straight ahead at the door, anxious to hear it ring open to their floor. Bill turns his head to look at Roman, his heart stirring sadly. He wishes he could do more for Roman, more than this, but bitterly he knows moments like these are part of the job, part of the business. He feels Roman’s tension, his exhaustion, sees the bob of his adam’s apple each time he swallows down what are probably tears. Bill hurts for Roman, his entire body heavy with grief as he watches the man he loves be broken down so cruelly.
Tonight was a bad night.
The door finally chimes open, revealing the lavish, empty hall of their floor. Bill exhales a fast breath, struggling to fix up his nerves for Roman’s sake. He’s always being so strong for both of them, so brave and fearless, carrying the world on those big, broad shoulders. He turns to face Roman again, fingers still laced with his, giving an affectionate squeeze. “You still with me, baby?” Roman nods and the two of them make their silent march to their hotel room. He knows that Roman is ready to fall apart, his stomach lurching at the thought of it, of the inevitable. Bill slides the key to the room in and ushers Roman inside, his heart pounding between his ears. It’s Bill’s turn to be strong. He has to be strong. If not for himself, then for Roman.
Bill shuts the door behind them and walks to where Roman is standing by the foot of the bed. Bill feels his heart breaking as he touches Roman’s wrist, his fingers trailing themselves over his trembling fist. Whispering Bill begs Roman to look at him, please look at him. Dark eyes meet brown as Bill brings Roman’s big body into his arms. He feels something in Roman tighten up, then like a cord being cut he comes undone, choked up cries spilling out and wetting Bill’s shirt. It’s terrible, so terrible for Bill to see Roman like this, too aware that Roman has to grit his teeth through the pain, the negativity, hiding his feelings until he can’t anymore. Until he’s here in this beautiful place sobbing and shaking in Bill’s arms. Bill holds him closer, soothing loving circles into Roman’s back, reminding him over and over that he’s here, that Roman is safe, that he loves Roman, he loves him so much.
They hurt together for a while longer before Bill asks Roman if he wants to take a bath, his thumb wiping away any leftover tears on Roman’s face. “Only if you take it with me,” he replies, his voice rubbed raw. He manages a little smile when Bill reaches a kiss to Roman’s lips. “Of course.” The bath is hot, steam rising to the ceiling as Bill sits with his back against the ceramic of the tub, Roman on the opposite side, black hair messily tied up. They regard one another with wide smiles, finding the quiet between them precious and natural. Bill cradles his knees to his chest, water noisily rippling around him. He opens his arms wide in invitation, wanting Roman nearer. “Lemme wash you,” he offers, waving the other towards him. “Sure, just gimme a sec.” Roman moves his body around, water splashing over the edge of the tub as he rests his back against Bill’s chest, Bill’s long legs splayed on either side of him. Bill nudges a kiss to the back of Roman’s neck while Roman caresses Bill’s knee, tenderness slowly bringing them back to one another. “You comfortable?” Bill questions. “Yeah," he answers quickly. "Go ahead.”
Bill works delicately, stopping every few minutes to ask Roman if he’s okay, if he’s still with him. The worst of the storm had already past leaving both of them worn to the bones, still standing hand in hand. Bill brings the towel over the small of Roman’s back once more before dropping it into the water, pausing to leave another kiss to Roman’s neck. He circles his arms around him, a soft sigh on his lips as he pressed his forehead against Roman’s shoulder, closing his eyes. He feels the water lap up against his skin as Roman returns the sudden embrace, his hands gripping Bill's own and Bill feels his eyes begin to sting with tears. They don’t speak then, allowing their love for one another to hold them in perfect silence. The water cools and they decide it’s time for bed, helping one another out of the bath. Once they’ve dried off they sit down on the bed, Bill dressed in a loose fitting striped sweater and briefs and Roman wearing a tank top and lounge pants. Bill is sat cross legged behind him washing a kiss to the crown of Roman’s head as he courses gentle fingers through still wet hair.
“Tap my knee if I’m pulling too hard, okay?” Bill watches Roman nod in affirmation and he smiles, gifting him with another kiss before starting to brush his hair. Bill loves brushing Roman’s hair, loves how beautiful his hair is, how soft to the touch it is. He loves that Roman trusts him like this, with this. Bill rubs Roman’s shoulders in affection when he announces that he’s done, leaning over to kiss Roman’s jaw. It’s nearing 2 am when they finally drag themselves into bed, Bill making sure that Roman is safely tucked away, from the world, from the bullshit, from it all. “I’m gonna turn the lights off now, baby,” he says, clicking off the night lamp before slinking under the covers. He shifts closer to Roman, hoisting an arm over him, carrying him into the warmth of his body. “Feeling better?” Bill wants to know, nudging his nose against Roman’s which earns him a small laugh that almost moves Bill to tears again because his boy is back now, he's good now. “Much better,” is the soft reply, a kiss on Bill’s lips following sweetly behind.
Sleep comes easy that night, the two of them still wrapped up in love with one another, ready to take on another day.