Work Text:
Daniel is a lot of things; some real, some he puts up a front for and some he becomes for the people he loves. It’s not so nice though to know that he is helpless. He could count the amount of times he’s seen Sungwoon cry with one hand - very short episodes, tears mostly for others and only once for himself. He’s not so sure what to feel when Sungwoon’s stone cold, trembling hands in his coat as if it hides his tiny, shivering body.
He’s been at the receiving end of keyboard words once but never to this extend, and he orchestrated the roots himself to be fair. This. This thing that hangs over their heads but mostly only cutting through Sungwoon - he doesn’t know what to make of it and whether he could bring Sungwoon into his arms and whether he’s even allowed to.
Jisung throws him a kind glance over his shoulder as he exits behind Sungwoon on the ninth floor and Daniel watches the door close behind Sungwoon’s back.
“Not your fault too, you know?”
Daniel is coming back from the bathroom after a shower when Seongwoo gets the courage to speak. Daniel knows he’s trying to be kind so he gives Seongwoo a little smile for effort. Jihoon’s taking it hard too but that’s most reason why they picked their closest friends for roommates. “Minhyun says you can come,” Seongwoo tries again and Daniel looks up properly this time, tilting his head curiously. It’s a habit he picked up from being around Seongwoo too much. Seongwoo waves his phone at him. “Thinks you’ll be good for Sungwoon hyung. Or whatever.”
Daniel snorts. Seongwoo’s really trying . Adorable. But he likes to think he knows Sungwoon a little so: “He doesn’t like it when we baby him. Especially for things like this.”
“Yeah well,” Seongwoo says, and he’s putting in effort to be nonchalant, Daniel knows. He’s stripping off his shirt but his hand hangs awkward in the air as he continues: “difference is, you already baby him daily. He’s okay with that, isn’t he?”
“You trying to kick me out to hang out with your other bestfriend?” Daniel tries for a joke. Seongwoo’s shoulders look too tensed when it should be Daniel who’s worried here. Seongwoo returns him with a tiny smirk. Finally. “You’ll make Baekho cry, Niel.”
“Yeah, well. I-” Daniel says, making vague, stuttered hand gestures and Seongwoo understands.
The ninth floor dorm is quieter than theirs. Minhyun’s in the kitchen when Daniel enters and his eyes light up. “You really came,” he says. Daniel gives him a look. “My bestfriend is trying to spend time with his other one. Of course I came.”
“Bad wording,” Minhyun says with a dumb grin on his face and Daniel kicks at him weakly.
“In the bedroom?” he asks and Minhyun nods. He shoves a bottled water into Daniel’s hands and shoos him gently towards their room. “He just finished washing up, go on. He’d want this.”
Minhyun’s shared room with Sungwoon has a single king-sized bed they share instead of Daniel’s and Seongwoo’s weak excuse of a bunk bed. Sungwoon’s curled in the middle in a giant blanket burrow. “Minhyun?” he calls out softly as Daniel enters. “Did you bring me water?”
“I’m not Minhyun but I got you water?” Daniel greets in an equally gentle voice and Sungwoon peeks out from his blanket, turf of hair bouncing up messily. Daniel’s lips curl up. Minhyun sees this sight everyday, no wonder he’s always so blessed.
“What are you doing here?” Sungwoon asks, plopping back down into his little haven. It’s not unkind, just mild curiosity. Though Daniel guesses he already knows why.
Daniel shrugs. He kicks off his slippers and remembering whose room he’s in, arranges them nicely at the foot of the bed before he slips in beside Sungwoon. Sungwoon points his little finger to the nightstand and he places the bottle there obediently. “Wanted to cuddle but can’t do that on my bunk bed, can I?”
“Who says I’d cuddle you?” Sungwoon retorts, snarling tone sounding more like a half-hearted bark. Adorable though, because he’s already shifting to make room for Daniel’s large body and letting Daniel put an arm under his neck, bringing Sungwoon right under his chin and into his chest.
“Hmmm, warm,” Daniel whispers, heart finally slowly down with Sungwoon’s even breath against his nape and body safe in his arms.
“You smell nice,” Daniel mumbles, lips catching on Sungwoon’s hair with how they’re pressed together. He smiles when Sungwoon grumbles in slight annoyance and rubs gently at the small of his back; an apology. Cute people just owns the worse mirrors.
“You’re a dog,” Sungwoon says. Funny, funny. Daniel lifts his body when he feels Sungwoon’s cold fingers poking at his side, a silent request for Daniel to lift his body so he can curl an arm around Daniel too. Sungwoon’s arm barely goes around his waist even when he’s holding Daniel this close.
He’s said it once, when he was drunk during New Year’s Eve. Daniel wonders if he says it now, Sungwoon would take it well. His words tend to jumble out all wrong when he’s trying for otherwise. Still.
“Hey?”
Sungwoon’s still awake. Daniel wonders what’s so interesting about his shirt with the way Sungwoon’s burying himself in it. “Yeah?” it’s times like this Sungwoon’s shrugging off his armors one at a time, with patience Daniel will never truly master that Daniel feels the age difference. His voice is soft, cracking along the edges and Daniel wonders.
“I love you,” he tries. It only takes one easy go. “You know that, right?” Yeah, he doesn’t know how he could ever think he’d get that wrong. It’s a wonder how much it truly begins to mean the moment he admits it out loud. The hair on Sungwoon’s nape is so short. Daniel runs his fingers slowly down Sungwoon’s neck, lets him swallow the weight of Daniel’s words at his own pace.
Sungwoon wiggles, just a tiny bit and Daniel lets go, ready to maintain a distance but Sungwoon’s tiny fist is a hard grip on his shirt even as he pulls away to meet Daniel’s eyes. His eyes are sharp on Daniel’s, searching and slightly rattled. Like this - this close, with his heart beating against Daniel, stuttered and flustered, but so so real , Daniel realizes he really, really loves him.
Daniel wonders what’s Sungwoon’s thinking, what conclusion he came to when he looks at Daniel for his eyes to crinkle along the edges - for so much warmth to wash over that it transcends and spills into the room to envelop them both.
“You told me you hope I choke on a dirty sock just this morning,” Sungwoon says, after a long beat as he tears his eyes away from Daniel. But there’s a tiny curl of lips and his cheeks are a pretty pink.
Daniel snorts, amused. “Doesn’t mean I don’t love you,” he says. “And you stole my cereal. Jihoon gave that to me.”
“ You stole it from Jihoon, asshole,” Sungwoon retorts, no bite in his words and his eyes are clear despite the fatigue evident with how pliant he’s being in Daniel’s arms.
Daniel smiles, and reaches out to swipe Sungwoon’s fringe out of his eyes. “I love you,” he repeats. Sungwoon makes a strangled sound at the back of his throat, embarrassed. “I get it, stop ,” he grumbles, burying his red face into Daniel’s chest again.
“I’m okay, you know?” he says in such a soft voice Daniel barely catches it, but Sungwoon’s fidgeting against him, hesitant but willing to open up.
“I know,” Daniel assures. It’s what he has expected Sungwoon to say, but he can try anyway, so he trudges on in a kind whisper: “I just need you to know you don’t have to be, if you don’t want to.”
There’s silence, Sungwoon’s breath against his neck a gentle, familiar caress. Daniel runs his fingers slowly in Sungwoon’s hair. It’s a soft fluff against his skin without all the products holding it in place. The Sungwoon leaning on him in steady calm breaths is too without all the artifice he has to keep up for the cameras.
“Thank you.” It’s so silent, just a short, brave puff of air that Sungwoon croaks out.
Daniel hums, encouraging. He leans his cheek down onto Sungwoon’s head, lets him feel Daniel’s warmth bleed into him to know that Daniel is really there beside him. In a softer voice, Sungwoon continues: “you know Moonkyu hyung and I had this running joke that we don’t have luck in anything we do because we’ve used up all our luck in getting so much love from the people around us?”
His grip tightens on the back of Daniel’s shirt. “Today I think I finally believed in that.”
There are only empty words Daniel can give for verbal comfort and he thinks it might as well mean next to nothing. So Daniel does the next best thing he’s good at, and he kisses into the turf of Sungwoon’s hair, a long press of lips he makes sure Sungwoon can feel through the walls he tries to put up to tell his story.
“Sometimes I lose things even without doing anything,” Sungwoon whispers, trudging on. “But you know? I never truly lose the people that matters.”
There are hashtags on Twitter Daniel saw just an hour ago, thousands of fans that believes and tries for Sungwoon. There are messages lighting up Sungwoon’s phone on the bed stand since Daniel has came in. And then Daniel realizes, there’s him too, with Sungwoon warm in his arms, words stumbling softly with the courage of a hundred men. And Daniel thinks he knows what Sungwoon is trying to say. I love you too.
Daniel wiggles slightly and Sungwoon’s tight grip on his shirt loosens enough for him to pull back and meet Sungwoon’s eyes. “You use the hardest ways to say I love you too,” he says, a small smile already creeping up his lips and Sungwoon gives him a little laugh. He looks so beautiful like that; so small and fitting in Daniel’s arms.
Daniel slides his hand down, rubs gently at the small of Sungwoon’s back before he cups the underside of Sungwoon’s arm and pulls him up so that Daniel can properly take his mouth like he’s been wanting to the past ten minutes. Daniel’s proud of him and good god , he’s in love.
Sungwoon’s tiny hiccup of surprise is so cute but he lets Daniel have his way, lets Daniel fit the curves of their bodies snugly against each other and Daniel can slide his tongue into Sungwoon’s waiting mouth.
Sungwoon whines lowly at the feeling of Daniel’s cold fingers on his stomach, body arching up in quiet pleasure. “Sorry,” Daniel murmurs, apologetic as he kisses Sungwoon’s forehead, just a quick warm peck, so contrasting with his wandering hands all over Sungwoon’s body.
Daniel can feel Sungwoon’s eyes on him, and wonders how someone so small can fit so much warmth in a single look. Yet when Daniel flicks his eyes up, Sungwoon looks away, and then there’s that pull he does because as much as he pretends, Sungwoon is cripplingly inept at being comfortable with showing affection. Daniel kisses his cheek still for the effort.
“Do you want to have sex?” it takes a while for Sungwoon to hear him, and Daniel takes a small pride in his ability to distract him. Daniel’s presses his mouth into the soft skin of Sungwoon’s tummy and enjoys Sungwoon’s tiny intake of air at the touch. His stomach is all pretty, pale expanse of smooth skin and it dips in lightly as Daniel litters it in firm, little kisses. Sungwoon sighs, a soft wisp of air Daniel feels all the way from where he is.
Voice equally quiet, Sungwoon murmurs a tiny no and Daniel gives him a hum, pecks the side of his hips once and lifts himself up. Sungwoon’s eyes are clear when he returns Daniel’s tiny grin. “Okay,” Daniel answers, hand only resisting a second before he ruffles Sungwoon’s hair. “Let’s sleep.” He tugs Sungwoon’s shirt down and lets Sungwoon pull him gently onto the bed again.
It’s when they’re falling asleep, legs tangled that Daniel hears Sungwoon’s soft mumble of love you too, and Daniel squeezes him once. I know.