Archive of Our Own ^beta

Four days before the road trip, the sun is setting by the time Hoseok gets home. The brightness and hustle of the day slipping away with the last remains of the warm light. The apartment is bathed with all the colors of the sunset as Hoseok enters, back hurting and eyes tired.

He can smell something cooking, and the sound of Yoongi humming to a familiar song that Jungkook showed them. It brings a smile to Hoseok’s face. Everything screams home as he takes off his shoes.

It had been a very busy week. He had to work overtime twice, staying up till late, making sure everything was perfect and that not a single number was out of place. He feels extremely lucky, with an understanding boss and great co-workers, landing a job as soon as he got out of college. But sometimes he can’t help but hate the small cubicle with the old and limping table and the creaking chair. It pays the bills, and even gives him enough money to be able to live rather comfortably, the cheapness of his student live left behind with every month’s pay-check.

But his passion used to be dancing, moving his body to a rhythm. The reason he had started going to the academy, apart from the fact that Namjoon insisted on him going, was because they offered dancing classes. That's how he met Yoongi, actually. The elder was the one assigned to play the piano on his first performance. He caught Hoseok's eyes instantly. Grumpy, with a blank face most of the time, but funny and attentive with him, always checking that he liked how he played the melody, that he wasn't going too fast or too slow. Those small things, as well as the beautiful smile that appeared on the others face when someone approached him or his teacher gave him a compliment, were the main reason Hoseok decided to befriend him. (the fact that he had and amazing personality that fit rather well with Hoseok’s own was nothing but a small plus)

Hoseok loved to dance, actually majored in it for a year. Before realizing that he probably wouldn't have a future in such a field, right after an injury that basically smashed his right knee. It hadn't been a huge tragedy (no matter how much either Jimin or Yoongi, and even Jungkook, well all of them, had cried when they were informed of the accident). He simply fell down the stairs, badly. He got discouraged suddenly, when he realized that he could never dance the same way again, and decided to change majors, following Seokjin's lead and going to economics and finances. Yoongi had been furious. Had screamed at him, had pleaded for him to "actually follow your dreams". But Hoseok just knew that he couldn't. It wasn't entirely his knees fault; he had told Yoongi. He had known for a long time that dancing just wouldn't do it. He wasn't like Jimin, who happily teaches classes every week, ever since his third year. Or like Jungkook, who danced in the musicals he so often starred in. He used to want to make a living out of just dancing, and he knew he couldn't. So he settled for the cubicle and the old chair.

Those moments seem too far away as he stands in the doorway of the small kitchen and simply watches Yoongi for a while. The older is wearing an old t-shirt, the cotton worn out from use. Hoseok believes it used to belong to Taehyung, that the younger left it behind accidentally a long time ago, but he can't be too sure. The fabric is always soft and is thin, and Yoongi simply loves it. He is bare feet, and Hoseok will give him shit for it later on, because the older always insists that Hoseok has to wear shoes around the house no matter how hot it is, ‘colds and infections don’t care about weather’ he often says. He is wearing some shorts, Hoseok's to be precise, because they look too bright on him, soft pale blue against the slightly tanner skin of Yoongi’s legs, and the elder does not know anything more colorful than a grey shirt with red letters on it. The older turns around and startles a little when he sees Hoseok staring at him, but the surprise is quickly replaced with one of those gummy smiles Hoseok loves and adores.

“long time no see”

Hoseok hums, stepping forward into Yoongi’s open arms. The other is shorter than him, has been since Hoseok turned seventeen, but Hoseok still manages to snuggle up close to him, arms circling around Yoongi’s middle, his face burrowed in the black-haired males neck. Yoongi caresses his back slowly, head resting against Hoseok’s. He smells like the cologne Hoseok bought him for his last birthday, the one he wears every single day, no matter if he is going out or staying at home. It never fails to make Yoongi blush every time Hoseok mentions it, as much as it always makes the youngers heart swell up with a pleasant giddiness. It takes Hoseok a while, but he moves his head to place a peck on Yoongi’s lips, watching as another smile forms in the elders face before he gives Hoseok a peck back. 

It’s not every day that they get moments like this, both extremely busy, to the point of only being able to message each other a simple I love you before passing out. Yoongi doesn’t live with him, never had actually. He shares an apartment with Seokjin, who most often than not is actually at Hoseok’s apartment, doing god-knows what with Namjoon. Many have asked Hoseok the reason behind that, going as far as saying that is dumb for them to not move in together when they’ve been going out for so long. Hoseok has to explain, over and over again, that they just need their space. They love each other blindly, would die for one another at the blink of an eye, but they still need their alone time. They practically do live together, and yeah, sometimes Hoseok hates being fair away from Yoongi, but is nice, they don’t get tired of seeing each other.

He can see them living together at some point in the future, going home together. But this still nice. And the future is too far away anyway, so might as well enjoy this while it lasts.

“What are you cooking?”

Hoseok finishes the question with a yawn, finally untangling himself from Yoongi, who directs his gaze to the pot, stirring its contents before turning back to Hoseok. It smells amazing, of spices Hoseok can’t even name and other things that make his mouth water. Yoongi has always enjoyed cooking for him, even when they were younger and the older barely knew how the stove functioned.

Thinking back at those old days, Yoongi seemed to always have an extra snack for Hoseok to munch on. Never actually asking if he was hungry or thirsty, just sliding a chocolate bar into his hand or silently giving him a water bottle, when he finished his dancing classes. Always accompanied by a blush and a "you burned calories, just take it Hobi". He does that with all of them. Not asking what they need, but taking care of them in an almost imperceptible way.

Yoongi always has mint gums on his pockets because ‘Taehyung likes them and they make his breath stink less’. Buys Jungkook’s favorite banana milk and stores it in his fridge since ‘the brat never tells me when he is going to visit and he gets bitchy without the fucking milk’. Carries bandages with him every time they hang out with Namjoon because the younger always ‘manages to fuck up his fingers and will get and infection one day, Jesus’. Has a portable phone charger that he always lets Jimin use, ‘if he takes videos and pictures with his phone he doesn’t bother me’. He even carries extra napkins with him every time they have dinner with Seokjin because, apparently, the older has ‘never learnt how to properly eat like a fucking human being, Jin they are staring’.

It’s one of the reason’s Hoseok fell for him, if he is honest.

“a recipe I stole from Seokjin”

“What a criminal”

“Yeah, when Michael was singing about a Smooth criminal he was actually talking about me”

Yoongi grins at his own Joke, clearly pleased with his sense of humor. Hoseok finds the sarcasm endearing, but he can’t help but roll his eyes. Not his best one.

Yoongi steps closer to him and slowly loosens the tie Hoseok loathes, it feels too formal and constricting, no matter what Taehyung says. The younger watches how long and familiar fingers slowly slide the offending piece of clothing around his shoulders, knot coming completely undone. He is resting against the counter as Yoongi slowly unbuttons his work shirt, white and carefully ironed. Hoseok lets him do it, enjoying how the elder’s fingers feel against his skin, slowly tracing circles and making goosebumps arise. There’s a kiss against his collarbone, right before Yoongi nuzzles against him. It makes Hoseok giggle, the other’s locks tickling him. He sighs just as Yoongi places yet another kiss on his body, this time below his ear, where his jawline is slightly sharper. He circles Yoongi's hips with his hands, thumbs rubbing the soft material of the shirt against the sharpness of Yoongi's hip bone.

“Yoongi I smell”

“Yeah you do”

The younger can feel the other’s smirk against his neck, and he lets out a huff that’s supposed to let Yoongi know that ouch, that hurt. But he is far too tired to put any real intention behind it. He let’s go of Yoongi, who slowly turns to turn off the stove, and stretches, muscles aching in the best way when he does so. He takes the shirt off completely, putting it inside the washing machine along with his socks and pants. Somewhere inside his head, there’s a voice that tells him he shouldn’t be so shameless. That he could cover up a little bit, try to avoid walking around just in boxers. But he pushes the thought back, hugging Yoongi from behind when he tries to grab something from a cupboard he barely reaches (is not because he’s that short, But he’s still shorter than Seokjin, who is the one that actually fills and organizes the cabinets and cupboards). The older gasps a little, losing his balance just a bit before he lets his whole weight rest against Hoseok’s chest. The younger leaves a kiss on Yoongi’s plump cheek, taking a step back so he can rest his forehead comfortably on Yoongi’s shoulder.

“take a shower before dinner”

“will do”

He leaves Yoongi to set everything for dinner, mentally reminding himself that he’s in charge of cleaning the dishes tonight. He hears his name being pronounced in a scandalized tone, the reprimand for walking around only in his boxers getting cut by Hoseok’s laugh as he makes his way to the shower.

Hoseok makes a mental note to properly thank Seokjin for leaving the apartment so they have some alone time. Maybe he’ll buy him that figurine that the older had been talking about.

He ponders over it while he showers. The warm water feels nice against his sore muscles, melting the discomforts created all over his body for sitting in a chair for so long.

He looks down at his own body. He used to be skinnier, to the point where Seokjin and Yoongi went on a mission to feed him every time they could (they did the same to the rest of them because they were growing, or some other bull shit). He is still in shape, even if what used to be sharp edges have been slightly softened with the passing of the years. He doesn't dance as much anymore, and the change has been noticeable. He is only 26, not that old, but he still feels the changes.

There's a disappearing bruise on his lower stomach, just on top of his pubic hair. Courtesy of when, a few days back, he told Yoongi he was getting heavier. The older just looked at him, stopping the process of Hoseok putting on the shirt he used for sleeping, and practically spend hours kissing every part of Hoseok’s body. Thinking about it makes him blush and something warm stir on his skin, emanating from the mark. But he is too tired for even that.

Dinner is good, they sit on the table, set for two. Yoongi tells him about his day, something about a new song he is working on with Namjoon. Hoseok tells him about his. It’s pleasant, even more when Yoongi unconsciously holds his hand when he is explaining something a new intern had done. Hoseok laughs alongside him. It’s pleasant.

That night when they are cuddled against each other. The room dark, illuminated only by the lights of passing cars outside the window, they talk about the vacation. Yoongi is facing him, arm lazily thrown over Hoseok’s stomach, his hand caressing the relaxed abs. Hoseok is resting his head against Yoongi’s, since the older is using his shoulder as a pillow, his own hands playing with Yoongi’s hair. Yoongi speaks softly, whispers colliding with Hoseok’s chest.

“I’m worried, what if they burn the house down?”

“Jimin will be there you know”

“he’ll be too busy being a child with Tae and Kookie to notice the fire! We’ll all be dead”

“Seokjin is going too, he’ll put out the fire”

Yoongi cuddles closer to him, throwing a leg over Hoseok’s and trapping him in his embrace. It feels like the younger is trapped in the embrace of a koala, a grumpy koala who things they’ll die from a fire that hasn’t even started yet, that probably won’t even happen.

“He’ll be too busy bickering with Namjoon or making fun of me”

“You are worrying for nothing babe”

“don’t babe me, Hobi, we are going to die”

“Hm”

The younger moves slightly, hugging Yoongi and pushing his face against his own chest. It shuts the older up, but Hoseok can almost sense the pout. They stay like that for a moment, both simply enjoying each other’s company. Yoongi breaks the sleepy silence. Their legs tangle, Yoongi huffs, clearly not relaxed. Then he speaks, softly, his lips touching the skin on the youngers chest. It makes goosebumps arise all over his skin, like every single time Yoongi kisses it or caress it. The street is silent, the elders voice crystal clear in the stillness of his room.

“Hoseok?”

“yeah?”

“I love you”

That makes Hoseok smile, lips thinning over white teeth. He goes to kiss Yoongi’s forehead, but the older has a different idea, moving so he can kiss Hoseok properly on the lips. Is innocent, nothing but them enjoying the feeling of having lips pressing against their own, and it’s all they need.

Yoongi moves, making himself the little spoon. Hoseok knows the older will never admit to it, but Yoongi enjoys being cuddled and hugged, and who is Hoseok to deny him?

They go to sleep like that, four days before the road trip.

--

The night before the journey to Taehyung’s beach house, Hoseok finds himself sitting on Yoongi’s bed, watching as the latter moves around his room like a mad man, listing things as he goes, expecting Hoseok to tell him if they put them in their luggage or not.

Seokjin enters the room just as Yoongi gets inside his own bathroom, shouting something about the importance of bringing a well-equipped first aid kit. He had been like this for almost three hours now, and Hoseok lost all faith of trying to get him to calm down, settling instead with simply helping Yoongi figure out what he had packed and what he definitely (didn’t) need to pack.

The oldest of the room rolls his eyes at his best friend’s antics, looking at Hoseok with what could resemble pity, the younger returns it with a little smile of his own. At that moment, Yoongi emerges from the bathroom for the first aid kit. He stares at Seokjin for a moment, raising an eyebrow that prompts the other to speak.

“Namjoon asks if he can borrow a toothbrush”

“yeah he can, blue or green? Green he likes green”

Yoongi, Namjoon, Seokjin and Hoseok himself had decided to crash at the oldest apartment, since it was their van they were going to use. Namjoon had said that it was to save gas, but Hoseok knows the younger simply enjoys being in Seokjin’s presence. He didn’t say anything, however, because an embarrassed Namjoon is an even more clumsy Namjoon, and Hoseok enjoyed living, thank you very much. The fact that he also got to snuggle his boyfriend was nothing but a minor convenience.

 Seokjin leaves with the toothbrush, shutting the door behind him. Hoseok can hear the oldest and Namjoon speaking through the thin walls, their laughs making him smile slightly. Hoseok directs his gaze to Yoongi, standing in front of an open suitcase filled to the brim with things. He looks amazing, the younger thinks, hair ruffled and messy, eyebrows going up in concentration.

Hoseok gets up and hugs him from behind. The older let’s himself rest against Hoseok’s body, still talking under his breath about everything they had packed and would need. He begins kissing his neck, starting on the nape and slowly going to what he can reach in the front, lips pressing incessantly on the tender skin spread underneath them. Yoongi lets him do his thing, moving his neck so Hoseok has more space, it’s an almost unconscious act, given that Yoongi is still staring at the luggage, as if it was the biggest mystery he had ever been faced with. Hoseok is having none of it, however, teeth grazing the delicate space underneath Yoongi’s ear, then moving upwards, tongue playing with one of Yoongi’s piercings. There used to be more, decorating his earlobes in a way that made him look far more intimidating than he truly is. Hoseok went with him to get about two of them, held his hand when the needle went through his skin. He was also there when Jimin got his, and when Jungkook decided to get all of his on the same night. They are fond memories. Hoseok keeps his ministrations, never biting or sucking too hard, knowing full well how easily Yoongi bruises, until the older lets out a gasp, followed by a breathless moan, at a particular harsh bite.

“stop worrying will you?”

The older turns around in Hoseok’s arms, staring at his eyes with a pout for a second before kissing him. Yoongi’s hand’s travel to his head, and Hoseok feels his breath leaving him at how passionately Yoongi is kissing his chapped lips, fingers tugging slightly at his hair. They somehow land on the bed, Yoongi on top of him, leaving his mouth to give Hoseok’s neck the same treatment his had received before. Yoongi is harsher with his bites and kisses than Hoseok, knowing full well how much the younger enjoys it. Yoongi moves to place tender kisses all over Hoseok’s collarbones, the contrasting treatment he is receiving making Hoseok slightly dizzy.

They won’t go further, both of them know it. The presence of Namjoon and Seokjin, their bickering echoing in the apartment, enough for the mood to be nothing but playful and innocent.

Yoongi stops kissing his collarbones to return to Hoseok’s lips, biting them the slightest bit and smiling into the kiss when Hoseok lets out a shuddering breath. The younger can’t have that, so he moves his hands, before resting on the small of Yoongi’s back, to grab the younger’s face and kiss him properly. Lips sliding against one another, mouths opening so they can trace the other’s mouth with their tongue. Hoseok doesn’t think he could ever get tired of kissing Yoongi, every kiss making him feel jittery and burning from the inside out.

“sunscreen”

Is a whisper, and it leaves Hoseok rather confused, since it’s followed by Yoongi abruptly standing up and frantically looking around, walking slightly funny before he readjusts his pants. Hoseok can’t swim in the fact that he did that before Yoongi is desperately screaming at him to help him find his precious sunscreen.

Hoseok sighs, his hands rubbing over his eyes. It was going to be a long night.

--

Hoseok loves Yoongi, has for quite a long time now. He would sacrifice everything he has just for Yoongi to be happy. Pretty sure he wouldn’t think twice about dying for him.

He can perfectly recall the first time he realized he loved him. They were on a date Yoongi had planned, they were supposed to have a picnic, but it started raining and they had to flee. Soaking wet under the cover of some random coffee shop Hoseok can’t recall the name of, and when he turned to look at Yoongi, he remembers his heart stopping. The older looked beautiful, smile as big as the clouds above them, eyes turning into little crescents as he laughed. Hoseok’s heart gave a shuddering heartbeat and Hoseok knew, he loved that man.

Now, however, with Yoongi’s elbow digging for the hundredth time on his side, his tank top sticking to his sweaty skin. Stuffed at the back of the van, (when they were promised the middle, the middle!) Hoseok feels like throwing himself through the small window Jungkook had the kindness of opening.

“your elbow babe”

“Sorry”

Yoongi shuffles forward, trying his hardest to get his elbow far away from Hoseok’s side. Their legs are pressed together, both wearing shorts. Hoseok had to sit in the middle since they used the other seat to put even more luggage and stuff in.

They have almost two hours until the next rest stop, and Hoseok is so close to ending it all it’s amazing he hasn’t actually jumped out of the car.

He stares at the front. Taehyung is to his left, passed out against the window. He fell asleep not even twenty minutes in, Hoseok seriously envies him. Jimin and Jungkook are listening to music, the youngest has his head resting against Jimin’s shoulder, the latter looking like he is going to fall asleep at any moment, with the way his head keeps falling forward. In the front of the van, Namjoon and Seokjin are talking silently, the music making it impossible to hear what they are saying.

Hoseok looks at his left, trying to stare at the scenery, but it’s really hard with two huge suitcases and many different boxes covering the view. To top it all, he had forgotten to charge his phone last night, despite Yoongi reminding him, and he had no distraction. He huffs, annoyed.

Yoongi nudges him, raising his arm for Hoseok to snuggle against his side. It’s hot, and Yoongi smells slightly like sweat, but he prefers this position to having the elder’s elbow digging painfully against his ribs. This way, he can hear the slow beat of Yoongi’s heart, slightly relaxing him. The older has his eyes closed, listening to music he had offered to share with Hoseok, but the younger had a headache, probably product of all the sweating and general discomfort, and declined the offer. The tank top Yoongi is wearing is extremely thin, thinner than the one Seokjin had stolen from Hoseok, notices the younger upon closer inspection. He can see the slightly darker outline of what are Yoongi’s nipples. An idea shines bright in his head, Hoseok smirking to himself.

He sits slightly up right, Yoongi briefly opening his eyes in a question, but Hoseok simply smiles making the other close his eyes, blindly trusting his boyfriend. Hoseok looks at the front again, making sure no one has any interest in them. Jimin has finally fallen asleep, head on top of Jungkook’s, Hoseok can practically hear the song that the youngest is playing, volume so high it goes through the headphones. Taehyung snores and Namjoon and Seokjin seem too busy talking. It’s perfect.

He turns to face his boyfriend, who has his head slightly pushed back, subtle curve of his neck exposed. Hoseok starts there, kissing the skin where neck meets collarbone wetly, tongue tasting the sweat and it should be at least a bit disgusting, because Yoongi is completely drenched and any normal human being would feel at least a tiny bit disgusted. But Hoseok welcomes the salty taste that lingers on his tongue when he passes his it up the curve of the elder’s neck. Yoongi doesn’t react, clearly too used to such a thing. From day one it was clear that Hoseok loved kissing Yoongi’s neck, well he loved kissing Yoongi-anything really, but there was something about the other’s strong yet soft neck, how his Adam’s apple was not exactly prominent, but contrasted beautifully with the way Yoongi’s jaw seemed to melt into his neck, the sharpness of said jaw only evident when Yoongi put his head in certain angles that Hoseok nothing but cherished. Yoongi used to get extremely flushed every time Hoseok as much as pressed his lips against it, but now he just hums, letting Hoseok have his fun.

The older is practically asleep, letting Hoseok kiss his way up his neck, the younger occasionally blowing air to the places he had kissed, relishing in the way the older shudders. He starts biting Yoongi’s ear lobe, teeth barely digging in the soft skin.

But is the determined and insistent finger tracing the elders left nipple that prompts Yoongi to open his eyes. His mouth opens slightly before being covered by Hoseok's own. His tongue hungrily searches for Yoongi’s in an almost bruising kiss. The older returns it, not with the same bruising energy and slightly confused, but he returns it, nonetheless.

When they part, Hoseok goes back to biting alongside Yoongi's jaw, two fingers now insistently pinching and rubbing the elder’s nipple. Strong fingers circle around his wrist, stopping his movement. Yoongi takes a deep breath and closes his legs. Hoseok can't do anything but smirk at how much he still affected Yoongi, despite all these years.

"What in the fuck are you doing Hobi"

Their sex life isn't boring, never has been. They are too inti each other to not enjoy it, even when is the most vanilla and soft thing. But on a good day, right after they gave each other the orgasm of their live, they started talking about kinks. They aren't into anything too extreme, Yoongi likes it when he blows Hoseok, Hoseok enjoys biting and sucking on the elders neck, stuff like that. Yoongi, however, sheepishly admitted that he finds doing somethings in public, well, arousing. Hoseok looked at him surprised, and Yoongi reassured him that he found the idea if fucking in public or with people around disgusting, he just, liked it when Hoseok teased him where some could see. And that's it.

They had actually only done it twice before now. Once when the seven of them were watching a movie. Close to the ending, Hoseok had rested his hand on Yoongi’s thigh, slowly itching closer until he could shyly trace the outline of Yoongi’s erection with a finger.

The second time was almost on accident, they were coming home from a club somewhere, and Jimin’s tiny car didn't have space for all of them, so Hoseok sat on Yoongi’s lap, and everything was ok until he and Tae started a tickle fight and Hoseok moved on Yoongi’s lap. He stopped when he felt just how hard the older was.

And that was that.

"I'm having fun, hyung"

Another thing that Yoongi shyly admitted to like was when Hoseok called him Hyung. They had dropped the formalities on their second year as boyfriends, Hoseok often referred to Yoongi as Babe, Baby, Yoongs, and the older called him Hobi most of the time, Sunshine was another option Yoongi enjoyed.

So Hoseok settled to only call Yoongi hyung when they were being intimate, when he knew Yoongi would enjoy it the most.

"Well I'm not-"

Hoseok had moved his other hand to grab the growing bulge in Yoongi's shorts, successfully interrupting whatever Yoongi was going to say. The latter throws his head back, a hand once again shutting his groans as Hoseok caresses between his legs. The hand circled around Hoseok's hand falters and let’s go. The younger stops his ministrations to readjust himself. An arm thrown around Yoongi, his hand close enough so he can play with the other nipple, while the fingers from his other hand move smoothly up and down Yoongi’s growing erection.

"Hobi is two hours before the next stop"

The last word is pronounced against Hoseok’s lips, the younger just hums before kissing the corner of Yoongi’s mouth. The other habitants of the car are surprisingly oblivious to what is going, Hoseok is pretty sure. He moves the hand twisting Yoongi’s nipple to cradle the elders head moving it so it lands on the space were his neck meets his shoulder. He does this as he moves his other hand inside Yoongi’s shorts, fingers meeting the wet fabric of the boxers Yoongi is wearing.

"Hobi I don't-fuck I-don't want to have dried come in my pants for two hours"

The elder is bucking his hips, since Hoseok has slipped inside his boxers and is steadily working his length. He hasn't dropped the nickname, which is another way Hoseok can tell the older is into it. He knows that the second Yoongi says 'Hoseok' he is going to stop everything. Is not a safe word, they don't need one, never had and probably never will, but is the way Hoseok has of knowing when Yoongi really doesn't want something, since the older is keen of saying he doesn't enjoy things he clearly does. In a similar matter, Hoseok knows that Yoongi will stop everything they are doing if the younger ever says no, or not today. It has only happened once, when Hoseok was just too mentally and physically exhausted, and Yoongi simply kissed him and went to the bathroom.

The older whimpers against his throat, something that sounds too much like Hoseok’s name. The younger keeps moving his hand, up and down, concentrating below the head, just how Yoongi likes. Suddenly, exactly when Hoseok is about to reposition Yoongi so he can kiss him again, there's a cough right in front of them. They freeze.

"Hyung?"

Is Jungkook, having put Jimin away from him, in what probably was an attempt to get more comfortable. He is looking at them with worry in his eyes, music stopped and one headphone out of his ear.

"Are you...ok?"

Hoseok can feel Yoongi tense right next to him, the older trying to hide his face. Hoseok swallows, he's pretty sure Jungkook can’t see anything. He would have to move his entire body to do so. But his mouth is dry, embarrassment filling every pore in his body. He swallows.

“Ye-Yeah, Yoongi hyung was getting a bit dizzy so I was trying to uh make him feel better”

Jungkook looks at them for a few more seconds, and Hoseok is mortified. He still has his hands inside of Yoongi’s pants. The elder’s dick is flaccid, in his hold, and it must be extremely uncomfortable, but he can’t take his hands out until Jungkook turns around, otherwise he’ll know. They can’t have that.

The youngest hums and finally, fucking finally, turns around. Hoseok is careful when he gets his hand out of the elder’s pants, but Yoongi still whimpers. He can feel it against his throat. They separate, only a little bit. Yoongi moves so Hoseok can lay in his chest again, he isn’t angry, Hoseok would know, probably just embarrassed. Quite like Hoseok himself is. Before he accommodates however, he tries to ease both of their minds by whispering into Yoongi’s ear.

“that was close”

Yoongi hits him in the chest.

--

Hoseok is not someone poetic.

The poet and wannabe philanthropist are Namjoon (extremely sober) and sometimes Yoongi, joined by Taehyung, with heavy accents and a few too many beers (they always start talking about the meaning of life and end up crying about puppies and hugging each other, no matter how much Yoongi likes to deny it. They all have videos to prove it). Whatever, the thing is, Hoseok is not someone who particularly enjoys getting deep. Thinking too much or reflecting on stuff for too long has never been something he practiced often. He doesn’t like to dwell on things that will do nothing but confuse him, prefers thinking about the now than the yesterday or the tomorrow. Is a way of thinking that makes everyday life easier, more enjoyable. When you don’t worry about what’s going to happen, no matter how reckless it sounds, you do things that too much thinking wouldn’t have allowed.

That’s how he kissed Yoongi for the first time, almost without thinking. They were in some party someone Jin knew had thrown. It was his first year, and they were unwinding or whatever Namjoon had called it when he made Hoseok agree to come (Hoseok in all honestly was already convinced when Yoongi had told him he was going, but Namjoon didn’t have to know that). There was alcohol that Hoseok had never tasted in his life, and that after that night swore to never taste again. And Yoongi was sitting there, looking fucking beautiful with slight rosy cheeks and his button nose. His hair had been light red back then, almost pink, because he had lost a bet with Taehyung and now he had almost pink hair and Hoseok didn’t even know he was getting closer to the elder until he was standing right in front of him, Yoongi smiling at him, confused but smiling at him nonetheless, and Hoseok fucking lost it. He doesn’t know how he managed to gather the stability to put their drinks in a nearby table and then practically crush his lips against Yoongi’s, but he did.

Because Yoongi was, and still is, one of the only things Hoseok had ever overthought about. He was his first everything. He can still recall the days and nights he spent wondering what would happen if he just kissed him. Just confessed to the elder that he loved him, in a more than friends’ way. But he couldn’t stop thinking about Yoongi rejecting him, about ruining their friendship. He was afraid of not seeing Yoongi ever again, of the elder being disgusted by him, of breaking their friendship and their closely knitted group of friends because he just couldn’t stop thinking about how soft and pretty Yoongi’s mouth looked.

The same mouth he ended up kissing on the night before his first hangover. The mouth that returned the kiss, ferociously and desperate. The same mouth that started laughing as soon as their parted, much like Hoseok’s was doing. The mouth that belonged to Min Yoongi, Hoseok’s Major Crush since he even knew what liking boys and girls was. Min Yoongi, who took him to the small apartment he shared with Seokjin, making sure he drank enough water and didn’t puke on himself. The same man who then cuddled him and kissed his face between giggles. The same man that spent the entire next day taking care of him, no matter the headache or puke.

The same man who is currently screaming at an almost empty suitcase, furiously searching for something that Hoseok can’t figure out for his life what is. He’s butt ass naked (being together for so long tends to make the lines between acceptable and unacceptable blurred), crunched down. Hoseok had showered the first out of all of them, so he’s simply sitting on the bed before going down and helping the youngest three with dinner (he’s pretty sure it’s only Jimin cooking since he can hear the TV playing, the sound of the music of a game Taehyung and Jungkook wanted to play in the background). Yoongi had showered not that long ago, his hair still dripping wet (Hoseok knows he will eventually have to dry it himself because Yoongi gets bitchy if he doesn’t). He wouldn’t call himself shameless, but he is enjoying looking at the naked form of his boyfriend in front of him. He has gotten a bit thicker since they were young. No longer stick thin like he used to be. He’s still the skinniest about of all of them, rivaled maybe by Taehyung’s lanky ass. But even the younger had gotten bigger since Jimin and Jungkook convinced him to go to the gym with them (Yoongi and Hoseok know that it didn’t exactly take much convincing, because for Taehyung, a sweaty Jimin and a sweaty Jungkook were definitely appealing even if it meant he had to sweat too).

So, Hoseok is a bit than completely enthralled by the vision of the bubbly butt in front of him (he remembers one time he had called Yoongi “bubble butt”. The punch his arm received still hurts), when it occurs to him.

“when was the last time we had sex?”

Yoongi is not even baffled by the question, still furiously searching for whatever he had lost (once again, spending so much time together does that). Hoseok’s mouth waters just a bit at the sight of back muscles making an appearance when the elder stands up and puts on some boxers Hoseok is sure don’t belong to him. He turns, a pensive look on his face and talks with that accent he only let’s slip when is just Hoseok and the other’s with him.

“who cares I don’t know where I left my shampoo”

He moves to lay beside Hoseok while he speaks. As soon as his body hits the mattress he closes his eyes. He’s lying horizontally on the bed, legs hanging off the side. Hoseok chuckles slightly before kissing his cheek and lying too, his arm draped around Yoongi’s naked middle, tracing small patterns on his side. He has a hand holding his own head so he can stare at the elder’s face, admire his long eyelashes and the shadows that they cast on his high cheekbones, is endearing, makes the normally stone faced and sharp tongued Min Yoongi look young and soft. Hoseok moves his hand so his fingers trace the bags under his boyfriend’s eyes when he remembers; Namjoon entering the room while Yoongi was doing god knows what in their own bathroom (the perks of having the biggest room to themselves), asking for Yoongi’s shampoo, offering his toothpaste in exchange. He chuckles, loudly, prompting Yoongi to open his eyes and look at him, curiosity all over his features.

“Namjoon took it, he said you could use his toothpaste since you seem to like it so much”

“that bastard”

“you love him”

And is true. Yoongi loves Namjoon, and Seokjin, and Jimin and, even if he tries to deny it and is always bickering with them, also Taehyung and Jungkook. It’s funny, in a way, how they all molded so well together. How despite going to university, moving out, arguing, fighting, not talking with each other for months, they are still friends, all of them. Hoseok sometimes thinks back to some small moments he remembers. Moments he recalls with a smile and fondness overflowing him. Moments like when Namjoon and him went on that camping trip as kids and slept in the same tent. They sneaked out after Hoseok had woken up Namjoon saying that he wanted to look at the starts, the slightly younger agreeing immediately. They promised right there and then that they would be friends forever, or some childish bullshit that seemed extremely serious at the time but right not is just funny, if not cute. Or when Seokjin came unexpectedly one day during his first year away, with a bunch of food and tears in his eyes. They were all surprised and worried, until Seokjin simply decided to start a cuddle fest and made all of them fit themselves around him because he missed them, missed his little brats. Moments like when he and Yoongi had started going out, and he would often crash in the elder’s room, doing homework he couldn’t care about and letting Yoongi pet his hair and eventually nuzzle into him as they took a little nap. And that one time Jungkook and himself randomly decided to start a dance war or competition or whatever, and they had the others as judges. No one won, because the two of them ended up dancing together to some upbeat song he can’t remember, laughing their asses off and almost crying. Or one of the times Taehyung had called him to talk about a dog he had seen that day, just to end up crashing in his and Namjoon’s apartment just to show him pictures of said dog. Or when Jimin asked him to help with his dancing back at the academy, shy and young.

He cherishes those moments. They are the memories that make his day better. Make him realize that he’s happy.

“mhm”

“I love you more tho”

“you better”

--

On the fifth day, Hoseok wakes up early.

He has always been an early riser, used to waking up at five or six in the morning to be able to run for a bit before going to work. It often annoyed him, mostly when he and Yoongi were going to spend the entire weekend lazing around in bed all day, and it was six a.m and he couldn’t sleep (it often ended with Yoongi waking up too and pretty much cuddling himself around Hoseok until the younger of the two was lulled to sleep, not that Hoseok would complain.)

Today wasn’t much different.

It had started because he wanted to pee, so he untangled himself and went to the bathroom. The lights there were harsh against his half closed eyes, and he almost peed with his eyes closed, until he remembered that precision was a thing and that Yoongi would murder him if he peed everywhere (Hoseok would murder himself too, if he was honest), so he opened his eyes. Once he was done, he turned around to clean his hands. The water was still extremely cold against his warm fingertips (he remembers how yesterday, they had to shower in the main bathroom, well he mostly remembers having sucked Yoongi off and being rudely interrupted by Jungkook when the elder was returning the favor), it made him hiss away from it, as if he was a snake (the mere thought of the reptile had Hoseok shaking his head in disgust), nonetheless, he cleaned his hands, because hygiene was a thing and whatever.

When he came out of the bathroom, closing the door and lights, he couldn’t help but stare at the sight before him. Yoongi was sprawled on the bed, dark hair tussled and unruly. It amused Hoseok how sometimes Yoongi’s hair would curls at the edges, giving the elder this weird childish look that just made him adorable (every time Hoseok commented on it, Yoongi would blush and hide his face from him, but Hoseok had said it enough times to know the only thing the elder was really hiding was a small smile). His skin shinned slightly under the small snippets of light that managed to get pass the blinds and through the curtains. It was red in some places, mainly because while Yoongi was busy screaming at everybody to put sunscreen on (Taehyung almost got away with putting none on, until Yoongi grabbed his shoulder to get his attention, realizing the offense that was the younger not wearing sunscreen and gasped, looking completely betrayed. Taehyung had almost looked like milk by the time the second eldest finished putting sunscreen on him), he forgot to put it on properly. Hoseok takes a small mental note to make sure to massaged some aloe Vera on the bronzed skin.

He approached his side of the bed slowly, making sure not to disturb the elder too much. It was to no avail, since Yoongi scrunched his nose and opened his eyes to look at him with half closed eyes. Hoseok smiled at him as he laid down, carefully pushing the hair away from his forehead and kissing it a few times, watching as Yoongi sleepily smiled. The other put his arm around Hoseok’s waist, pulling him flush against his side. Hoseok made a point of circling the arm laying on the bed around Yoongi’s neck, the elder’s head still resting on the pillow. Their legs tangled together as they rearranged their limbs and bodies, enjoying the warmth of their bodies in the slightly cold room.

“I talked with Joonie”

It was whispered against his chest, Yoongi’s voice still rough and deeper from sleep. It all honesty, Hoseok would have almost missed it if it hadn’t been followed by kisses on his collarbones. It wasn’t going to get anywhere, but having Yoongi so close to him left him relaxed and sated, the summer leaving him lazier and making everything hazier. One of Hoseok’s hands was tracing Yoongi’s spine, every bump with careful fingers, while the other played with the too long hairs at the base of the elders nape. Yoongi himself traced the dimples on the youngest lower back, stopping from time to time to tap one mole or the scar Hoseok had on his hip from falling down a few years ago (Jimin had been trying to teach him how to do one of his jumps, Hoseok had done well until he forgot to move his legs the way they were supposed to and fell to the ground, breaking skin.)

“Did you?”

“mhm yeah, told him that he liked Seokjin”

The younger snorted, the movement momentarily shaking Yoongi too. He can’t see the elders face, but he knows he has his eyes closed, slashes fanning across his cheeks, dark yet fluffy to the sight. He remembers back when they had started dating, when they were still careful and tentative around each other, in fear of the other thinking they were being desperate, in fear of looking too clingy. Hoseok would untangle himself from Yoongi if he woke up early, not wanting to make the elder uncomfortable in any way, and would stare at Yoongi’s sleeping form. It was creepy, and still embarrass Hoseok, despite the elder telling him how cute and adorable it was. It was creepy goddamn it.

“Bold of you to assume such thing hyung”

“oh shut up, he told he would tell him”

They stay quiet after that, the sound of the sea a faint background music. Hoseok thought of the way Seokjin would stare at Namjoon when the younger wasn’t looking, such a cliché move and yet so them, something only those two could get away with. It was strikingly similar to the unique brand of fondness Hoseok and Yoongi reserved for each other. Seokjin managed to look at Namjoon like the sun shone right out of his ass even when the youngest was going off about some philosopher’s theory or was snoring loudly in the middle of the living room, passed out and drooling on the floor. And don’t get him started on the way Namjoon would get this stupid little smile, dimples appearing in his cheeks at the same time as a faint blush, every time he and Seokjin talked, or bickered, or where just close to each other. He remembers one time they all had been talking, and Jungkook had asked something to Namjoon, he can’t remember what exactly, but the elder hadn’t realized, too busy staring at Seokjin. But he couldn’t really judge them, because Hoseok had once said that Yoongi looked incredibly cute while the elder was shouting curses and threatening to murder the driver of the car in front of them. He even cooed, despite everybody else in the car staring in disbelief. So yeah, he was extremely soft for his boyfriend, sue him. No, actually, sue Namjoon and Seokjin for making him realize how grossly in love him and Yoongi were.

He sighed and silently carded his fingers through the knots in the back of the elder’s head.

“I hope they finally get together”

Because he really did. Not only because he wanted to finally stop watching the longing in their eyes when they looked at each other. Not only because of the tension that would finally, fucking finally, get solved. But because those two deserved each other. They deserved someone that would care about them, respect them, cherish them, and Hoseok could see someone like that in both of them. They’ll make a cute pair.

“me too”

Hoseok smiles and lowers himself so he can see Yoongi’s face properly. His eyes are closed, but as soon as he feels Hoseok look at him he opens them. Despite so many years being next to each other, sleeping together, sharing hardships and privileges, Hoseok still gets breathless every single time he has Yoongi’s undivided attention. Every time those cat like eyes, dark brown and just so warm, look back at his own eyes, his heart skips a beat. Hoseok kisses Yoongi, like so many times before, but it still feels new, like it’s the very first kiss, back in that party, is almost like he can still hear the music, can still feel the alcohol in his veins. Their breaths stink, and it’s by no way their best kiss, but is theirs, between them, and that’s enough.

Their part, and Yoongi rests his forehead against Hoseok’s, his hand is now cupping the youngers face softly, thumb caressing the skin of Hoseok’s cheekbone.

“your breath tastes like fucking dead”

“wow romantic”

“let’s brush our teeth and then we’ll talk about romance”

When they get down, it’s to Namjoon and Seokjin kissing.

Hoseok comments on it, much like everybody else. But there’s an edge of fondness in each of their words. Yoongi ends up almost hitting Jimin for making some comment about their own sex life (apparently the shower incident had deeply traumatized the younger, not that Hoseok cares, despite what his colored cheeks might say).  

They joke about it while eating breakfast. Jungkook asks to go to the beach, and spends the whole time hanging from Yoongi and Namjoon, joking with the other two and telling them something about a song he is trying to make, the first one that won’t be for any assignment. He had also talked about it with Hoseok, visiting Namjoon and him a few times to run over the lyrics and the melody. Hoseok doesn’t understand much, he’s more into numbers and stuff, but he tries his best to give some useful opinions on it. Yoongi says it’s good, Namjoon encouraged the younger to write more, compose more. Hoseok trusts their criteria.

Jimin gathers Jin’s attention, they are sprawled on their towels, talking about some lotion the younger had used. Jin is getting tanner by the second, he’s almost as tanned as Taehyung, who somehow always manages to have a golden glow that Hoseok is seriously envious of at times. Yoongi commented on it this morning, before they went to the beach and Hoseok was putting aloe vera all over his back. Seokjin had simply winked at him and said something about getting out more. Hoseok wasn’t really listening, too concentrated on getting the refreshing cream on the elder’s back.

Taehyung is in the sea, swimming around. Every single time he goes further, Hoseok watches him silently, worrying his lip when Taehyung passes the buoy. Something had changed after the night of the dare, Hoseok can feel it. Taehyung has this lost look in his eyes, like he’s trying to find his way back to something he doesn’t know the way to. Hoseok hasn’t said anything to the other’s, but they know, somehow. He can see it in the way Namjoon jokingly asks Jungkook to bother Jimin, on the way Jin tells the latter about how Taehyung had already tried the mask he was talking about, recommending it to him. He can see it in Yoongi’s eyes, the guilt, the certainty that he had let something loose that none of them know how to manage.

The three youngest avoid each other like the plague.

Hoseok hopes they’ll be ok.

--

During the weekend, they do many things.

On Saturday, they decide to follow Taehyung to a small cove hidden somewhere behind the house. It’s small, but on that day, there’s almost no sun, white clouds covering it, so it’s completely empty save from the occasional seagull. It’s a bit windy, but Hoseok says nothing as they all gather in a small bunch, towels on the sand and bodies sat close. He doesn’t comment on the coldness when Yoongi sits between his legs, back pressed against his chest. Taehyung himself is also sat between the elder’s legs, and Hoseok can see how Yoongi is carefully playing with the youngers hair as they listen to some story Namjoon is telling.

It reminds him of when they were younger. When he first met Taehyung, the boy had been bright, innocent. He was all smiles and questionable words. He would ask things that even left Namjoon confused. It took a while for them to understand the way his mind worked, but they did it in the end. He can’t tell exactly how, but they just understood Taehyung, knew what he meant.

Yoongi was the first one to open up to Taehyung, and Jimin too. They would both talk about the place where they came from, despite coming from completely different parts. Yoongi was always bickering with the younger, their disagreements a constant background noise to anything they were doing. And yet, when Taehyung struggled, he would go to them. Seek Yoongi and Hoseok’s reassurance. One time, when his grandmother passed away, Taehyung knocked on Namjoon’s and his apartment door, crying his eyes out. The elders were all there, since the youngers had their first finals. Taehyung had immediately crashed between Hoseok and Yoongi, the latter grabbing his hand and just letting him cry, it was weird in a way, how easily Taehyung, or any of the youngers really, depended on them. But not unwelcome.

That night, they decide to use the old barbecue in the house.

They buy some meat, Seokjin letting them use his credit card (Hoseok firmly believes the only reason that happened is because it was both Namjoon and Jimin that asked for his card, but says nothing). Jimin and Jungkook seem to be somehow better, they talk with each other and play around to the point where Hoseok has to remind them that they are in public, telling them to stop behaving like little kids. Namjoon laughs in the background, amused by the scene in front of him. Hoseok slaps his arm and asks him to look for the ingredients Seokjin asked them to buy, instead of laughing his ass off at whatever the other two do.

He’s still worried about Taehyung. The youngest usually avoids the kitchen at all costs. Hoseok is convinced he has never touched a pot in all his life, probably has burnt water at some point. But when he was asked by Jungkook if he wanted to go with them to the store. Apart from jumping almost two feet away from him, as if he had forgotten Jungkook could speak to him, he quickly shook his head, smiling awkwardly. Hoseok saw the way Yoongi looked at him strangely from the kitchen. Their gazes cross, and Yoongi just shakes his head.

“It’ll be better if I stay here with the hyungs, you know? To tell them where everything is and stuff”

No one believes him.

Yoongi is the one that cooks the barbecue. It was extremely dark out, so with the help of Namjoon and Jungkook, they put candles on the table and all over the place. Hoseok can’t help but hug the elder every now and then. Yoongi would lean into him, still looking at the meat that was being cooked. They traded some chaste kisses every now and then, when Yoongi would turn around to face Hoseok, and the latter just couldn’t resist it. Not when Yoongi’s cheeks were slightly red for the warmth of the fire. They smiled into every kiss, despite the gagging noises from Jimin who was sat on the table on his phone.

On Sunday, Hoseok stays in bed for a while, almost the whole day. He isn’t feeling that good, probably something from yesterday’s barbecue the reason why his stomach hurts so much. Yoongi is worried about him and stays by his side most of the time. Kissing his face and bringing him water and snacks that won’t anger his already furious stomach. Namjoon also comes in, asks him how he’s feeling and that him and Seokjin are going for a walk, tells him to text if he needs anything from the store. Hoseok nods, smiling at the blush on his best friends face. It’s past lunch when Yoongi finally let’s Hoseok out of the bed, despite his constant nagging.

Jungkook is sitting on the sofa, reading a magazine. Jimin it’s sprawled on the soft cushions, his legs bent carefully so he doesn’t touch Jungkook, who is sitting on the other end. Another time, Jimin would probably had put his legs over Jungkook’s laps, the younger probably not even noticing. But they were still careful around each other. Another time, and Taehyung would had been there, sat next to Jungkook, Jimin’s body also resting on top of him.

“Where’s Taehyung?”

Jimin stops smiling at him and sits up, frowning slightly.

“He went on a walk”

Hoseok nods and doesn’t ask.

When Taehyung comes back, is late at night. They are all sitting in the living room, watching TV when he enters. Namjoon immediately starts asking him where he has been, but Taehyung just looks at him, the same lost look in his eyes, but this time is emptier, like he has finally accepted that there’s no way home, that he can’t go back anymore. And smiles, it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“walking around, gonna go to sleep now tho, good night”

Hoseok says good night back from where he is sitting in a armchair, Yoongi sleeping in his lap. Seokjin has his head on Namjoon’s shoulder, probably asleep too. Jimin had sat on the floor, while Jungkook decided to take the small space Namjoon and Jin had left on the sofa.

Before he leaves, Hoseok can hear Jimin whispering a soft ‘Good night Tae’

Taehyung says nothing back

--

On Monday, they decide to go to buy some groceries. Namjoon and Seokjin take the van and go to the city to buy the heaviest things, while Hoseok and Yoongi go to a nearby supermarket to buy less necessary stuff that’ll be cheaper there. They leave the youngest three to do the house chores while they are going.

They are still not really talking with each other, well, Taehyung is not really talking as much with the other two, who are still extremely cautious around each other.

Hoseok watches as Taehyung closes the door, a tight lipped smile on his face that doesn’t reach his eyes, like the other night.

Hoseok knows they won’t be ok.

When they open the door, some hours after he they left, Yoongi is angry, that much could be obvious to whoever now entered the house.

Hoseok understands really, he gets it. There are clothes all over the floor, clothes that were supposed to be folded and put in each of their rooms. Clothes that were clean. That Seokjin and Hoseok had spent almost three hours recollecting and putting in the washing machine.

He can see one of his boxers on the floor, Yoongi’s swim shorts are on the kitchen counter, and many other items of clothing are just everywhere, there’s even some pants and a t-shirt inside of a pot of flowers in the dining table.

The youngest, god save them, look almost as furious as Yoongi. They are fuming, red faced. Jimin has the blank face of controlled rage he gets every time something that has truly annoyed him happened. Jungkook, he’s completely red, the veins in his arms are bulging and his big eyes are shiny, like he’s two seconds away from crying. That’s how he gets when he’s frustrated. And Taehyung, god, Taehyung is a fucking mess. He’s sitting on the sofa, not looking at any of them, there’s a very prominent bulge right under the eye Hoseok can see, and the elder cringes physically at how bad it looks. He’s shaking, probably trying to not start crying or throwing punches, Hoseok isn’t sure.

“what in the fu-“

Hoseok puts a hand on Yoongi’s shoulder, shaking his head. Something has been wrong since the night when they played truth or dare. The three youngest had always had a weird dynamic, there was this feeling of constant anticipation yet fear, like the three of them were waiting for someone to make a move so they could run away like scared animals. The elders of the group had once talked about it. They all feared the same; the inevitable explosion of feelings. He supposes it has already happened, and what they are seeing is nothing but the aftermath. Yoongi looks back at him and sighs, slowly grabbing the pieces of clothing he finds on his way to the washing machine, which is in a small room next to the kitchen.

“Taehyung”

The aforementioned looks up at Hoseok. He had always been the one easier to understand, wearing his feelings on his sleeve. Whenever something happened, the one that would be the most affected was the younger. Hoseok still can’t shake the image of Taehyung crying for hours after his accident, face red and blotchy. He’s easy to read, and he’s honest with how he feels, even if it’s sometimes hard for him to explain it with words, he tries his best. So the blank stare that Hoseok is being given right now, devoid of anything, scares him a little.

“Let’s get to the bathroom so we can put something on that, it’s definitely gonna bruise”

Taehyung stands, and surprisingly, both Jimin and Jungkook startle a little bit, like they are afraid or guilty, Hoseok isn’t sure. He puts his arms around Taehyung, guiding him towards the staircase. The younger looks at the floor again, and Hoseok can feel him shaking slightly. Jimin makes to follow them, but Yoongi, who is still cleaning everything up, shouts at him and Jungkook.

“Save it! Help me clean this mess before Seokjin and Namjoon get home! Jungkook get those boxers!”

Hoseok can hear the faint sounds of Yoongi shouting at the other two, something that rarely happens, but the words are muffled inside the bathroom. They don’t really have anything for bruises, except some type of lotion that’s supposed to keep the harmed area of skin cold. Hoseok is applying it to a silent Taehyung. It’s unnerving, how quiet the younger is being. Normally he’s excited about anything, almost like a puppy. Throwing smiles left and right. But now he’s sitting on the toilet, the lid down, trying his best to not look at Hoseok in the eyes.

“If you don’t want to tell me what happened is fine”

Taehyung startles, like he forgot Hoseok could speak, and looks at him. He looks so young, so vulnerable, it makes something in Hoseok twist, seeing how confused and terrified Taehyung is.

“I-Hyung I-“

“Did they do this? Did either Jungkook or Jimin hit you?”

His eyes open comically, his mouth dropping. He seems offended at the mere thought of either one of the other two of the trio hurting Taehyung. But Hoseok still remembers the fist fight Jungkook and Yoongi got into, some years ago. Remembers the blood, the broken knuckles, the bruises. He doesn’t even know what happened before it. He can only see Yoongi throwing the first punch, Jungkook following it with a second. Can remember Seokjin screaming for them to stop, the way Yoongi hit his ribs when trying to get away from his hold so he could continue kicking the shit out of the youngest, remembers Namjoon’s broken nose from when Jungkook elbowed him, for doing the same as Hoseok.

He also remembers the tears. Jungkook appearing in Namjoon’s and Hoseok’s doorstep, some days later, because he knew Yoongi would be there. Still bruised with his lips bleeding because he had bitten it in an attempt to control his sobs. Yoongi had hugged him for hours, letting Jungkook apologize repeatedly against his chest as they laid on the couch. Hoseok phoned Jungkook’s mother and assured her that her son was ok. 

He can still remember how violent Jimin sometimes gets when angry. He has never hurt any of them, but he’s the scariest when angry. It all starts with this calm anger, and explodes into a fit that can barely be contained. Hoseok had once seen Jimin dance so furiously, so angry and frustrated, that despite falling and collapsing to the floor, he still pushed Hoseok away. Screamed awful things at him just to get him away. Hoseok had fallen back, landing on his bad knee. It hurt, but not as much as seeing Jimin slowly looking at him, eyes filled with tears. Not as much as seeing the younger curling on himself, shaking from the frustrated tears, apologizes falling from his lips like a mantra.

And yeah, maybe Hoseok can’t really see the same thing happening to Jungkook and Taehyung or Jimin, because Yoongi had been incredibly aggressive back then and Jungkook had been violent and they were both easy to rile up. They’ve changed, of course. Jungkook is calmer, doesn’t get angry as often and has found a way to relive some of the aggression he holds in him. Jimi now talks things out, tells them when he’s feeling frustrated, tries to not explode. But it’s still a thought. Hoseok looks at Teahyung as the younger wets his lips, shaking his head.

“no no hyung, they didn’t they didn’t do…that”

“You want to talk about it?”

Taehyung shakes his head. He looks so small like this, even though he’s probably one of the biggest of them (he might have been lanky, still some of it remaining, but he has gotten broader, fills the space better, not even his oversized clothing can really hide it anymore), with his legs propped up on the toilet, his head between them. Hoseok sits on the border of the bath, the second he starts petting his head, Taehyung breaks down in small sobs and let’s himself fall on Hoseok’s chest. The elder almost falls inside the bath but manages to catch himself and simply lets Taehyung cry and sob, wetting his t-shirt and positively breaking his heart.

None of the three youngest talks about it. Yoongi talks to Jimin and fails to get an answer, despite being extremely close to the younger. Namjoon and Jin, who came with groceries from the next town to a house dead silent and filled with tension, try to ask Jungkook, but the youngest had decided to go to sleep, or so he told them. They hadn’t seen him since dinner.

At night, when Hoseok is resting on Yoongi’s side as the elder plays a game on his phone, he can’t help but fear the worst. Seeing the three of them scarred, unable to look at each other. It might be selfish, but Hoseok can’t lose any of them. They knew this was coming, the great fall out, but it still hurts seeing the kids in pain, seeing them suffer. Yoongi has left the game and is playing with the soft strands of Hoseok’s hair. He has this guilty look in his eye, like he feels everything that the other three are going through is his fault. It might seem like it is, but it was going to happen eventually, Hoseok is sure.

 “Yoongi”

“Hm?”

“Will they be-“

Namjoon enters the room hurriedly, he’s breathing heavily and there’s sweat on his forehead. He’s shirtless as he startles the other two with his sudden entrance. The sky is dark, covered in clouds. They did say that there was a huge storm coming, one of those summer things that make the world look like a watery hell. The whole room shakes as the door slams against the wall. Hoseok and Yoongi jump at the sound. Hoseok can hear someone crying in the other room as he sits up, tries to look past Namjoon but can’t.

“Namjoon what hap-“

“It’s Taehyung”

“What? What’s wrong with-“

“He’s gone hyung! We don’t know where he is!”

Hoseok stands up quickly, making his way to the youngers room. He leaves Namjoon and Yoongi's panicked screaming behind him as he enter the bedroom. Jimin is sitting in the middle bed, bawling his eyes out. Seokjin is trying to calm him, but it seems like his words and the hand he has caressing the youngers back aren't really doing much to calm him. He can't see Jungkook anywhere, but he somehow knows that the younger is still searching for Taehyung, probably desesperately so. Jimin looks up at him, eyes red and tears all over his face. He's shaking, and for once in his entire life, Hoseok dreads the present, hates it with a burning passion. But he fears what will happen next even more. When Jimin speaks, is between sobs, his voice broken and trembling.

“Taehyung is gone”