Archive of Our Own ^beta

APRIL 2, 11:34 PM - NAMJOON

There's a shuffling noise followed by a long and exasperated sigh, then the body next to him turns and kicks the blanket in annoyance, legs kicking Namjoon's in the process, hurting his shin and he lets out an indignant scoff, rubbing his shin as he stares at the moving mass next to him. It halts for a second until the shuffling picks up again, restless and irritating.

"Can you stop?" Namjoon finally snaps, annoyed and sleepy.

It's been an hour since he has tried to fall asleep but no, of course, Seokjin decides that this is the moment to fucking shift and turn his body every couple of seconds as if he is trying to do the Macarena while lying down, under a blanket, and in the middle of the night.

"Sorry, I just can't sleep when you're in the bed, it's- it's stressful and I don't like it," Seokjin huffs out and removes the blanket covering them completely and throws it on the floor in anger or something. Namjoon stares at it for a second before he moves his eyes up to Seokjin's face, he can just about make out the shape of his plump lips, the line of his nose, and the two dark almond shapes where his eyes are (in the darkness Seokjin looks like a demon with a pretty face).

"Why did you do that?" he asks mournfully because now he is cold, the thin cotton shirt he wears and his boxers not providing enough to shelter him from the low temperatures in Seokjin's room (despite that it's April already there's still some remnants of the winter left which make themselves very noticeable at night time).

"It was bothering me," Seokjin answers, voice heated and he props himself up on his elbows, staring up at the ceiling, holding an expression of eternal suffering.

"Listen, Jin, I'm sorry, okay? It's not as if I- The lack of my bed is not my fault," he defends himself, propping himself up on his elbows as well but instead he is looking at Seokjin's profile.

"It is though," he shoots back, still not looking at Namjoon. "You have so much money saved up and what does a bed even cost nowadays? 180? 200? 300 tops?" he asks no one in particular and it's not as if Namjoon could have answered that because he knows shit about the cost of furnitures, his old bed (which has been discarded by Seokjin because it ruined Namjoon's back) was one he got from a guy that lived in the old apartment block he had lived in up until a couple of days ago. "You're going to buy yourself a bed because if not I might do something stupid and it's going to ruin everything and I really don't want that," Seokjin says firmly and finally lulls his head to look back at Namjoon. His lips part for a moment as if he is surprised or shocked but then he shakes his head and looks away again. "B-Besides you snore really loudly and I might strangle you."

"Hey!" Namjoon protests, his cheeks flaming up in embarrassment and he punches Seokjin's shoulder softly.

"It's true and you know it." He rubs his shoulder offended and hurt but doesn't punch Namjoon back nor does he complain about it, letting it slide. "I'm going to pick up the blanket and we will make an effort to fall asleep, okay?"

"God, yes, I have an 8am class and I don't want to show up there half dead."

APRIL 4, 2:38 PM - JUNGKOOK

To say he is happy would be an understatement, he is buzzing with barely contained excitement and the prospect of spending an entire day with his boyfriend shopping for utensils and furnitures for their shared only recently rented apartment is making it hard for Jungkook to sit still in class. He is jiggling his leg (which receives him a glare from the student sitting next to him but Jungkook quite frankly doesn't give a shit, nothing can ruin his good mood) and not really paying much attention to whatever the fuck the professor is talking about, his mind is focused on the text log he has opened on his phone, which lays discreetly hiding behind his pencil case so the professor doesn't see it and scolds him for it (Jungkook is 22 years old for fuck's sake, he is an adult).

There on the phone he reads Hoseok's last sent message (ikea date tomorrow morning at 11 <3<3) and he can't stop smiling to himself, his face threatening to split in half (again the student siting next to him gives him a weirded out glance, shuffling away from Jungkook, and again Jungkook couldn't give less of a fuck about it.)

Jungkook and Hoseok have been dating for four years, ever since Jungkook entered university as a shy and introverted student at the sweet age of 18, eager to become an adult and learn all about dancing. There, in one of his dance classes, he had met Jung Hoseok, who had been helping out the dance teacher to make some money on the side, and after bonding over music and dance they slowly had fallen in love. Going from Jungkook's awkward crush to Hoseok catching up and untangling his own messy feelings to finally both of them confessing awkwardly half a year later after meeting in the middle of the rain at a Burger King parking lot after Jungkook had accidentally spilled his coke on Hoseok's lap and somehow that had been the trigger for his emotions to spill out (it's as romantic as it gets but Jungkook wouldn't change a thing about it).

Four years later they are just as whipped for each other as they had been back then, grossly in love and even if they do fight from time to time those aren't major fights and they resolve them every time through talking and having a mutual understanding of the other's needs. So four years later they finally decided to move in together into a new flat, starting a new chapter in each other's lives and relationship. Jungkook is about to graduate college and Hoseok just opened his dance studio (a dream he had been carrying around for a long, long time that Jungkook helped him make possible and hold on to, even when sometimes everything seemed to go against it).

The flat of course came practically empty. The glee and euphoria upon finding a cheap flat that was both placed close to the center and close to Hoseok's dance studio had died out rather abruptly as they had entered the flat and found it empty, except for the bathroom and kitchen which had come equipped with everything (and when Jungkook says everything he means everything, from spoons to napkins to towels to a toilet brush - everything) so of course that had meant that the money they had saved up with the initial renting price would end up going out on having to buy all the god damn furnitures and utensils. But it's alright, both make enough money.

And so a week after moving into the apartment, setting up Hoseok's old mattress on the floor and buying some candles to set up around their living space, they finally have found a free day for them to buy whatever is missing from the apartment. Jungkook never really has gone shopping for his own living space - he spent his entire life living with his parents and then at 18 he had moved into the college's dorms where most things came provided already - and he is excited at the thought of scrolling around aisles and aisles of products for housing and furnitures, getting to choose how exactly he wants his and Hoseok's home to look like.

He always dreamed about getting to decorate his own place however he wanted and let his inner interior designer go banoodle with all the possibilities an empty flat offered him. He already has three different variations of their dream living room circulating in his brain, his fantasy going wild, and he can't wait for the next day to arrive so he can indulge on himself.

APRIL 5, 9:09 AM - NAMJOON 

"It's closed," comes Yoongi's gruffly voice (he is still struggling to keep his eyes open, blinking owlishly and yawning every couple of seconds) as the three of them stare at the big entrance door of Ikea.

The big closed entrance door of Ikea.

"Yes, I can see that, thank you," Namjoon snaps back, annoyance rising and he rubs his temple with his index finger and thumb to alleviate the headache that bloomed there. He hasn't had his first coffee yet and it is making itself visible. "What store doesn't open at nine in the morning?" he asks out loud to no one in particular (not that there is much of an audience to begin with). Seokjin shrugs and steps forward to press his face against the glass door to peak inside.

"I see people moving around," he exclaims, the sentence muffled as his face is still pressed to the glass. "They're wearing the Ikea uniform, that's a good sign, isn't it?" He turns his head towards Yoongi and Namjoon and pushes himself away from the door.

"I guess," Namjoon replies but it doesn't do much to lessen his annoyance. Next to him Yoongi yawns again, his face puffy from sleep and the cap he wears over his dyed gray hair is pulled low on his face to shelter his eyes from the glaring sun up in the sky. "It says on Google that it opens at nine, though. I don't understand."

Seokjin hums, rubbing his chin deep in thought, and then, when his face brightens up with enlightenment, he snaps his fingers together and lets out an aha. He reaches out both of his hands to clasp them around his friends' wrists and drags them back to the parking lot, walking all the way around the big Ikea building until they reach the back, where the cafeteria is, and there they find another entrance, this one open.

"I think what opens at nine is the café," Seokjin says and points his head towards the small coffee shop Ikea has installed into the big building, offering all their brand products.

The smell of freshly brewed coffee reaches Namjoon's olfactory sense and it's enough to brighten his mood instantly, he moves without realizing - his feet moving on their own - to the entrance of the café, hypnotized by the alluring smell of the bean beverage that he so desperately needs to function properly (and from the looks of it Yoongi needs it as well).

"Okay," he says as the glass door slides open in front of him and he steps inside, "okay, we're having breakfast here."

"What the fuck? Who has breakfast at Ikea?" Yoongi complains but follows Namjoon and Seokjin inside, moving his cap up so he can actually see what is going on in front of him, his eyes falling on the menu pinned to the wall behind the counter.

"We are," Namjoon replies exasperated. "That's who."

After ordering themselves coffee and muffins (and a hot dog in Seokjin's case, which is a weird choice for breakfast but then again who is Namjoon to judge, he is the kinda guy to wake up at 5am to make himself a bowl of cereals, half asleep and uncoordinated, only to go back to sleep ten minutes later). They sit down at one of the free tables, pulling back the colorful plastic chairs and sitting down. All of them have the typical Ikea etiquettes attached with the unique names on them, they look nice and as Namjoon's ass makes itself at home in one of them he realizes that yeah, not only do the chairs look nice but they're comfortable as well.

(No, no, Namjoon, you're here to buy yourself a bed. Only a bed, nothing else, he scolds himself mentally. He really needs to stop spending money without second thought only because he likes something, his bank account is suffering and his stress levels are rising every time he slides his credit card through a card reader to buy some stupid shit he doesn't really need.)

"Okay but this coffee is pretty decent," Yoongi comments after a comfortable silence has settled upon the trio, sipping from his cup slowly and letting the dark liquid slosh around his mouth to get a better taste of it (how he doesn't burn the insides of his mouth is a mystery to Namjoon). "Actually it's really good." He looks surprised at this new discovery and looks at his still untouched muffin with wonder and excitement.

"I don't know why you're so surprised, Ikea is the bomb," Seokjin says around a mouthful of his hot dog, a pieces of fried onion falling onto his tray, ketchup spurting out of the monstrosity. Namjoon briefly wonders why the fuck he even thinks Seokjin is pretty, at all.

"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that. I don't want to be flatmates with someone who thinks Ikea is the bomb or who says the bomb anymore. It's 2018, Jin, get with the time," Yoongi chastises him, a frown on his face, as he peels off the wrapper from his muffin. "I can't believe we have been living together all this time only for you to betray me like this and-"

"Okay, you can stop now." Seokjin swallows the chunk of hot dog and washes it down with some of his coffee. "And anyway we aren't here for us, we're here for Namjoon. He needs a bed."

"That I do."

Namjoon moved out of his previous flat last week because his flatmate was moving in with his long term boyfriend and Namjoon was too poor to afford the rent on his own but lucky for him Seokjin and Yoongi's third flatmate had moved out as well, leaving a free room for Namjoon to occupy. He is a rather minimal person and not all that demanding so he decided to keep the old closet the other flatmate had left behind as well as the night table but the dude had slept on a ratty mattress held up by books and plastic boxes and Namjoon's own bed is old and he doesn't remember what it feels like to wake up without back problems. So Seokjin took it upon himself to convince Namjoon to spent the money he has been saving up for years to finally buy himself a new and actually cozy bed that wouldn't make him get a buckled back like Quasimodo by the time he turns thirty. And that's why they find themselves on a Saturday morning, at nine-thirty eating breakfast in Ikea's coffee shop.

Because Namjoon needs a bed.

He has spent the whole past week sleeping in Seokjin's king sized bed and it hadn't been that bad. He doesn't mind sharing a bed and besides he has known Seokjin for seven years now, it's not as if they are awkward strangers but for some reason after the fourth night of sharing a bed with Seokjin the older had decided that it was enough and Namjoon needed to get his own bed as soon as possible, no matter what the costs were. Namjoon had hoped to let it wait until the end of April because he has just started a new job and will receive his first paycheck by the end of the month, he isn't all too fond of the idea of breaking into his savings but there's nothing he can do about it anymore, if Seokjin says he needs a new bed immediately then that's just how things are.

"But your statement made it sound as if you hit up Ikea just for the fun of it," Yoongi says, finally having unwrapped the muffin. "For the food," he adds dramatically and takes his first bite out of the muffin, he chews it slowly to get a good taste of it. After he swallows it down he nods satisfied. "It's good which creeps me out."

"Yeah, whatever, no one cares," Seokjin snaps at him, offended that his love for Ikea is not appreciated.

Namjoon lets out a sigh and takes a bite out of his own muffin. This is going to be a long day.

Half an hour later, at exactly ten o'clock in the morning, the guests in the cafeteria begin to filter out in big flocks and Yoongi frowns, mid taking a sip of his coffee cup. Seokjin is eating his second hot dog, shoving the thing into his mouth like his life depends on it, while Namjoon is trying to read the foreign and complicated names of the Ikea products (nearly choking himself to death in the process, what the fuck).

"What has gotten into them? Where are they going?" Yoongi wonders out loud as he places his cup back down on his tray and lets his eyes skim around the quickly emptying cafeteria.

"I think Ikea officially opened," Seokjin provides and swallows down the last remnants of his questionable breakfast.

"Fucking finally," Yoongi moves his chair back, it scraps agains the tiles, and lifts his tray to leave it by the trashcan, where the empty trays are stacked. "Come on, we have things to buy, places to be." He rushes them to get up and minutes later they finally stand in the elevator on their way to get up to the first floor where the Bedroom section is placed next to the Living Room section.

Namjoon feels kind of excited as he never really has gone to Ikea to buy something for himself, the few times he remembers coming to the Swedish establishment it had been with his parents when he had been a mere child and they needed to restock their towels or buy a new toilet brush or pillow cases or some other boring item (at least boring to a ten-year-old Namjoon who had yet to learn how exciting it was to be an adult and provide himself with vital necessities).

When the elevator door opens with a ding the three of them are greeted with a brightly lit hallway, from the ceiling hang huge banners announcing products that just got out on the market. The floor is made out of some grey plastic material, there are arrows showing the way they are supposed to go if they want to advance in the correct direction and to avoid getting lost. All over the place are neatly arranged beds of different sizes, there are small rooms set up to look like cozy bedrooms showcasing the variety Ikea has to offer when it comes to interior design. Namjoon lets his eyes fall on a particularly comfortable looking bed as they step out of the elevator and he considers trying it out but Seokjin shakes his head, dragging him and Yoongi down the hallway, past all the beds and the small fake bedrooms, towards one of the information stands. There's a small queue forming already despite that it's barely 10:27am and Ikea only opened twenty-seven minutes ago. As Namjoon and Seokjin wait in the five people queue Yoongi says something about needing to lay down so he fucks off to one of the set up bedrooms (the one that had photographs all over the walls, the theme of the room a simple black and white scheme with the occasional flash of color coming from a pillow case or neon lamp).

Namjoon stands awkwardly next to Seokjin as they wait for the queue to vanish and get their turn at asking the employee about the ideal bed for someone that is long and needs his space to move around (and possibly with a mattress that will fix whatever damage has been done already by his previous bed) but that doesn't cost too much and can be put into the small car Yoongi owns. In front of them are five couples all consisting of a man and a woman ranging from different ages and social circles (take as an example the couple right in front of them, around Namjoon's age, wearing neat and ironed clothing with rings and other accessories decorating them, compared to the older couple in worn down clothes and dirty shoes. Ah, Ikea, an every man's land), and for some reason that makes Namjoon's discomfort grow. He glances at Seokjin who appears to be unbothered by this fact and flips through the Bedroom Summer Collection 2018 magazine he picked up earlier after they had gotten out of the elevator.

Out of the corner of his eyes he catches Yoongi's figure wandering through the different set up bedrooms, he has now acquired one of the big, yellow, and ugly plastic bags Ikea offers to their customers, for when they browse through the store, and Namjoon licks his lips slowly as he tries to make out what the fuck is in the bag already as it dents out towards the floor and Yoongi doesn't even bother anymore in adjusting the blue straps around his shoulder, instead dragging it on the floor behind him. God.

"Joonie, come one." Seokjin's voice makes him look away from whatever Yoongi was getting up to do, and they walk up to the employee behind the small, yellow and blue desk, a big computer screen on top of it. The employee flashes them a friendly smile, his eyes turning to crescents, and Namjoon likes him already. "Good morning," Seokjin greets him, pulling Namjoon closer by his shoulder, "we are here to buy a bed," he reveals and pushes Namjoon forward so he stands right in front of the small desk that separates him from the Ikea employee (he gets to read the name tag of the employee, Park Jimin).

"Oh." Jimin's eyes widen in surprise, his mouth shaped into a perfect 'o', and he switches them in between Namjoon and Seokjin in a way that seems dizzying. "Oh," the employee repeats and blushes, he snaps his mouth shut and tries to school his expression, looking away from them and typing something up in his laptop, "what uh, what kind of bed are you, er, looking for here, exactly?" he stutters out his sentence and Namjoon doesn't understand why he seems so shy or confused or flustered. This dude probably sells a dozen of beds every day so why did he seem so shaken up all of a sudden? "We have, um, we have the- the, uh, okay this name is- Jesus. I can't pronounce this but it's one of our bigger beds for lovers and we have gotten quite nice and sadly, very detailed, reviews on it and it's um- it's not too expensive either and-"

"What?!" Seokjin chokes out after some seconds of letting the employee ramble on about one of the models they offer, he leans over the desk, squeezing his torso in front of Namjoon to get a better look at the bed Jimin has displayed on the screen of the computer. The tips of his ears turn a bright red and he squeaks out a laugh. "No, no, we're not- we are not lovers," he manages to say, equally as flustered as Jimin had been when they first announced they needed a bed, and Namjoon's barely coffee infused brain slowly catches up on what is going, and he can feel his neck grow warmer with every passing second.

"No, yes- No! We aren't lovers I just need- I need a bed. One single bed for one single man. Me-man. I mean me, I'm the single man," Namjoon somehow manages to put together a barely structured sentence and hopes it makes sense. (By the way Jimin blushes as red as them and rushes out an apology he guesses it worked.)

"What's taking you lover birds so long?" Yoongi chooses that moment to materialize next to them, his voice chirpy and bright, nothing compared to the sleep deprived man he had been that morning, with the yellow Ikea bag on the floor next to his feet.

Namjoon is amazed what shopping for useless shit can make out of a human being: Yoongi looks ecstatic and he is softly bouncing in his heels, looking around like an excited dog trying to spot something to chase or play with. Namjoon swallows and squints his eyes at his best friend trying to figure out what the fuck happened to him in this short amount of time, he also wishes Yoongi could just shut up sometimes because now Namjoon can feel the warmth of his neck spread to his cheeks and Jimin is looking at the three of them with confusion. Seokjin is sputtering out incoherent sentences trying to save himself but it's to no avail. The damage has been done.

"It's fine you don't need- We have a no discrimination policy here or at least I think so," Jimin begins talking again, reaching out his hands with his palms stretched out towards them, as if he is trying to calm them down. "But anyway, I'm not homophobic so don't worry about it, you can safely choose a bed of your liking. No need to worry about unwanted comments or- or something."

"That's really sweet of you but um, we really aren't a couple," Seokjin manages to tell the employee, swallowing thickly, the tips of his ears are still red and there's a light pink blush on his cheeks. "My friend here really just needs a bed because he recently moved into our flat and his old bed was really shitty and nearly broke his spine." Once Seokjin is done with the explanation Jimin deflates visibly but his smile doesn't falter, instead he rubs his hands together schemingly, taking a long look at Namjoon before he finally types out something on the keyboard attached to the desk. "That's all there is, I swear," Seokjin adds quietly, for some reason, and Jimin nods to himself, not paying attention anymore, focused on finding Namjoon the ideal bed.

"What the fuck was that?" Namjoon hears Yoongi hiss into Seokjin's ears and the older man simply shrugs helplessly, glancing warily at Namjoon before he pulls Yoongi aside. "We'll be right back," Yoongi informs him, getting dragged away by Seokjin and dragging his yellow bag along with him. It makes an uncomfortable rasping noise.

Namjoon only nods at that and tries hard not to pay too much attention to whatever his friends are discussing about while they sit on one of the children's beds (it has bright red sheets with the repeated imprint of some strange animal Namjoon has never seen before in his life but it looks like a pink dick with a beck; what the fuck?), rather focuses his eyes on the screen that is in front of him where Jimin is scrolling through several bed models.

"It's a shame that you and him aren't actually dating we just got an entire collection of couple beds that are build in a way to improve uh, well," he licks his lips slowly and lets the sentences hang in the air, giggling to himself. "Tested it myself and it does make a difference."

Namjoon really does not need to know what Ikea employees get up to in their free time and if they test the items they sell for their efficiency and authenticity but there he is at almost eleven o'clock during a Saturday morning inside the Bedroom section hearing about this employee's sex life after he just got mistaken to be in a relationship with one of his longest and closest friends, and he decides he needs to find his way back to the elevator so he can go to the cafeteria and drink another coffee (or possibly three) until he is awake enough to process and understand this.

"I- I'll be right back," he informs Jimin with urgency, to which the employee simply nods his head and keeps scrolling, and walks towards the bed with the indecent sheets where his friends sit on to tell them that he needs more coffee and to ask them to buy the bed for him.

"-plus he has the biggest brain boner for you ever like I don't understand how it doesn't just bust out of his forehead and-" Yoongi is in the midst of saying (and Namjoon is slightly grossed out by that, the picture forcing its way into his mind) but Seokjin slaps a hand over his mouth to cover it as he notices Namjoon approaching them. "Oh, shit, hey, what's up? We totally weren't talking about you," he says once Seokjin has removed his hand and Namjoon stands right in front of them.

"Yoongi," Seokjin hisses, hitting Yoongi's shoulder in a startled and warning manner. "Shut up, oh my god."

"I'm not even going to ask-" ("Good", Yoongi says cheerfully while Seokjin lets out a sigh of relief), "- I just wanted to say that I'm going to go back to the cafeteria and get more coffee. I'm not awake enough."

"Sure, of course. Do you want me to choose the bed for you?" Seokjin asks while Yoongi rolls his eyes and coughs something into his hand that sounds like a word but Namjoon can't quite make out what it's supposed to mean.

"Yes, please, I trust your bed knowledge and to know what I want and need." He smiles gratefully, ignoring the loud laugh Yoongi lets out, and walks away from them with a small wave.

He walks past the desk Jimin is still vigorously searching for an adequate bed for him and makes his way into the maze that is Ikea, following the arrows and trusting that they will lead him to where he needs to go. It's when the beds and bedrooms slowly morph into couches and living rooms that he realizes that something is very, very wrong.

He's lost.

APRIL 5 , 11:00 AM - JUNGKOOK

After having shared a tasty and nutritional breakfast together they are now by the big crystal doors of Ikea, a spinning door lays in front of them and Jungkook feels the irrational anger and annoyance creep up on him. He stares at the devil's trap with a heated stare, Hoseok notices it, of course, and reaches out his hand to clasp his boyfriend's hand firmly and leads him to the spinning door, each step careful and calculated, rubbing his thumb across Jungkook's knuckles in a calming way.

"You got this, babe," he whispers to Jungkook and waits until there's an opening, dragging them inside the small space.

They shuffle awkwardly slow as the door rotates and Jungkook hates every single second of it, he holds his breath and waits until he is free again, on the other side and safely inside the big Ikea store. He glances back at the glass door spinning around and around and around and he wishes humanity would just delete these ugly inventions. (He has dubbed them the Het's Trap because he is gay and straight people can fuck off and he is sure whoever invented rotating doors was straight and most likely homophobic because no gay person in their right mind would come up with such a thing.)

"Come on, babe, I'll bring us a shopping cart, you can get out our list," Hoseok says and drops Jungkook's hand in favor to walk over to the rack that has the shopping carts, pulling out a coin from his shorts, while Jungkook stays back and gets the shopping list they prepared the night before out of his wallet.

It's long, very long.

Hoseok and Jungkook walk towards the mechanical stairs, leaving the cart to the weird construction next to the stairs which is supposed to carry up the cart to the upper floors. Jungkook doesn't remember it from the last time he had visited Ikea as a child and it freaks him out how far technology and engineering has come in such a short time. He stares with amazement and wonderment how the cart gets lifted up with them to the first floor by the band which its safely secured in.

They enter the section by the first floor, the Living Room department, and Jungkook's jaw drops at the big neatly decorated rooms in front of them, each with a personal and distinctive touch that makes it different from the previous one, and he finds himself wanting to live in every single one of them but of course that's not possible and most of them are out of their budget - even if it's a pretty big budget they have given themselves and the things that they actually need are listed on the piece of paper Jungkook is clutching in his fist. Hoseok stops in front of a couch and crouches down to read the tag attached to it, he reads the information under his breath (foregoing the complicated and foreign name of the object).

An employee approaches them with a cheeky smile and leans against the armrest of the couch, he stares at them for a while as if he is waiting for something and Jungkook grows wary of him. The name tag on his ugly, bright yellow shirt reads Kim Taehyung and he has dyed pink hair falling into his forehead which clashes with the Ikea uniform.

"Can I help you?" Jungkook asks despite himself and his efforts to ignore the employee.

"Excuse me?" the employee looks at him with amusement twinkling in his eyes. "That should be my line."

"Well you just stood there without saying anything so I-" He is interrupted by the employee laughing at him. Hoseok looks up at them, a smile playing on his lips.

"Relax, it's fine," Taehyung says and straightens up. "I gotta go, places to be, but if you need help just hit me up, alright?" He walks away but not without saluting them once before he disappears into the maze of living rooms.

"What a fucking weird dude," Jungkook comments to himself with a shake of his head.

Hoseok has moved on from the couch saying that he doesn't want to buy an actual leather couch as he doesn't like the idea of sitting on real cow skin, so the couch together with the entire conglomeration of that section is ruled out, and they move past some very nice and aesthetically pleasing decorated example living rooms towards couches that look less fancy than the ones they were just looking at but the prices are lower as well and maybe it isn't such a bad idea, Jungkook realizes, more money to spent on accessories, he thinks to himself gleefully.

Hoseok test sits on some couches, rubbing his butt into the cushions, then lying on his back, stretching his legs up in the air, and closing his eyes. Jungkook lets out a sigh but copies his boyfriend's posture, moving his hand to hold his shirt in place so he doesn't accidentally flash the entire store with his abs.

"I don't know," he says after a while, nestling his head in between the pillows but failing to find a comfortable position like that.

"Yeah, I agree, it just doesn't do it justice." Hoseok propels himself off of the couch in a swift and graceful movement of limbs flailing around until he is standing on firm floor again. "Let's keep looking," he says once Jungkook's legs have found their way safely back on the ground again.

"Yes."

After some mindless scrolling around in the Living Room area in the search for the perfect couch Jungkook has begun to fill the cart with smaller necessities that are all written on their shopping list (door mat, a fairy light, several blankets for the cold winter days when him and Hoseok will snuggle up on that perfect couch they yet have to find) and he is currently inspecting a small table that could serve as a stand where his gaming console could stand on - there's enough space for all his games to be stored inside as well. Hoseok is a couple of feet ahead and running his hand over a couch, it's smaller than the others they have tested out so far but the price is nice and it has a certain style that Jungkook could work with. Hoseok sits slowly down on the couch, bouncing up and down to test the springs, and then he lays down on it staring up at the ceiling with a pensive stare.

Jungkook pushes the cart towards his boyfriend after he wrote down the name of the table on the small piece of paper he has gotten for himself (he got himself about ten of the Ikea pencils as well because well, who is he to pass out the opportunity to get himself free pencils?) and sits down on Hoseok's lap, who lets out a groan but doesn't complain further. They sit in silence for a while trying to imagine how this would feel like in their flat and if they could really work with this sofa when Jungkook spots Taehyung in the distance, walking over to them with a lecherous grin plastered on his face. Jungkook licks his lips slowly in anticipation as the employee walks closer and closer and hopes whatever he has to say is not going to be as weird as their first encounter.

"As much as we let customers try out our products for efficiency having sex is not one of them," Taehyung says once he stands right in front of them and Jungkook's hopes are crushed.

He pulls a face but Hoseok huffs out a loud laugh.

"What the fuck, dude?" Jungkook demands but Taehyung doesn't even bother, instead he pulls out a key chain from his belt (and Jungkook only notices then the various tools he has attached to his belt).

"But if you two really can't hold back and need a private room, there's this broom cabinet that's being renovated and I could give you access to it," he tells them, grin still on his face, spinning the keybundle around his index finger and waggling his eyebrows in a suggestive way. Jungkook is disgusted.

"That's really nice of you but we are just trying to find a couch, man," Hoseok turns down the offer. Taehyung shrugs unbothered and walks away again as if he had not just told them they could have sex in a broom closet at Ikea. "I think this one could be the one," Hoseok says once Taehyung is gone and a silence has settled over them. "It's comfortable and I can imagine us having sex on it, to be honest."

Jungkook lets out a sigh and gets up. "Yeah, yeah, that's true."

Hoseok pushes himself off the couch and takes the piece of paper and pencil Jungkook holds out of his hands to write down the uncomplicated name of the couch. And with that they decided to move to their next objective: finding a dining table and enough chairs so that they can have friends over. They decided the night before that they would get first all the bigger and vital furnitures and then move on to the accessories and decorations that would serve to make their place look cozy, personal, and lived in.

They walk past the small arranged rooms and towards where the tables, chairs, cupboards, and other living room furnitures are. But on their way there, as they pass past the last living room box (it reads Old Fashioned Studio on the wall next to the entrance), Jungkook spots a man around Hoseok's age sitting on the couch inside the room, sprawled out and a book in his hands. He looks as if he is in his own house, not bothered at all by the other customers checking out the furniture and decorations inside, eyes focused on the book in his hands.

Who the fuck comes to Ikea to read? Jungkook muses to himself and stops abruptly to stare at the man. It's such an odd and funny image that he regrets not having brought along his camera because this certainly would make up a funny picture for his Instagram photography account.

Hoseok notices that he has stopped and slowly back tracks in his movements until he halts right where Jungkook stands, he turns around with a questioning glance and when he sees the man Jungkook is looking at, his face brightens and he walks inside the set up living room.

"Namjoon?" he calls out the name of the man - as Jungkook assumes - who startles out of his lecture and looks up surprised.

"Hoseok," he says back and places the opened book on the couch, next to where he sits with the pages down, "what are you doing here?"

"I'm shopping with my boyfriend," Hoseok answers his question and motions at Jungkook standing behind him, still by the entrance of the box and his hands wrapped around the handle of the shopping cart. "By the way, Jungkook this is Namjoon, my old flatmate, Namjoon this is Jungkook, my boyfriend."

"Oh, nice to meet you finally." Namjoon gets up and steps forward to shake Jungkook's hand. "I've heard a lot about you."

"Likewise," Jungkook lies with a polite smile, shaking the stranger's hand.

(He knows jack-shit about Namjoon, Hoseok never mentioned much about him aside from the fact that he was a nice dude, and the few times Jungkook had been over at his boyfriend's flat the door that lead to Namjoon's room had always been closed. Hoseok had told him that Namjoon worked a lot, staying up late and then sleeping until noon.)

"What are you doing here?" Hoseok opts to ask his ex flatmate curiously.

"I was reading," Namjoon replies and points his head at the book on the couch. "Turns out they have this book I have to read for one of my classes and I thought, why not use the time efficiently, you know?"

Jungkook frowns because what the fuck, some people really go to Ikea to read books?

"You're here to- to read a book?" he asks slowly and makes sure he has understood this right.

"Yes. Well... No, not really." Namjoon scratches the back of his head awkwardly. "Originally I came here to buy a bed but I got lost."

"Oh." Hoseok laughs and Jungkook joins him, unsure if he really is allowed to laugh at the mishap of the stranger. "Man, only you would get lost and end up reading a book at Ikea."

"It's not so bad, the atmosphere here is nice. This room really makes me feel like a professor or something," Namjoon further explains his situation, shrugging in the process. He runs a hand through his bleached hair. "Well, I'll leave you two to continue your shopping. I'll just stay back and hope Yoongi and Jin find me."

"Ah, right, you're living with them now?" Hoseok inquires.

"Yeah. It's nice."

"You know, once me and Jungkook have set up our place you should come over with them so we can celebrate or something," Hoseok begins to say and Namjoon nods at the invitation.

"Sure, that'd be cool, we can do that."

"Okay, well then, I'll text you with the details."

They walk out of the room box, after bidding their goodbyes to Namjoon, and further towards where the objects are that they need to buy next. They barely have purchased 30% of the objects listed on their shopping list and Jungkook looks at the time on his phone, 11:33am. It's going to be a long, long day but at least he has heard Ikea's meatballs are supposed to be superior and exquisite so he can't wait for lunch time to arrive so he can dig into some good, foreign food.

(In the distance Jungkook spots Taehyung terrorizing other customers with a cheeky grin on his face and lying down on a table while he explains something, the poor customers just stand there awkwardly, nodding at his words.)

APRIL 5, 12:10 PM - INTERMISSION PART 1: YOONGI 

Maybe waking up at ass o'clock in the morning and eating shitty breakfast at fucking Ikea wasn't so bad in the end. At least that rather unforgivable part of the day is getting shoved away into the back of Yoongi's head as he walks out of the Bedroom area with one last glance at the cute, black haired employee standing by the desk, attending new customers, his soft and high pitched voice carrying over to where Yoongi and Seokjin are exiting the section to get to the elevators and back down to the cafeteria where Namjoon waits on them.

He scrolls through the contacts on his phone and there he spots the new contact the employee had saved only minutes ago on Yoongi's phone. Jimin (cute ikea guy) it reads and Yoongi can't fight off the smile that creeps up on his face. Cute he is indeed.

Seokjin is a couple of feet in front of him, dragging the heavy yellow bag behind him. Yoongi made a bet with him earlier as they had waited for Jimin to find Namjoon's ideal bed to see how long Seokjin could go without ranting about how perfect Namjoon is (Yoongi betting under five minutes and Seokjin betting over ten minutes) and Seokjin had sputtered out that it was a ridiculous bet, that he surely could win but he had lasted for about three minutes before he had given in, telling Yoongi all about how incredible Namjoon is and the wonders of how his mind works. With a smirk he had handed over the blue straps of the bag towards Seokjin who then proceeded to turn red in an alarmingly fast pace, snatching the straps out of Yoongi's hand and grumbling to himself. Yoongi loved making bets he knew he could win.

They walk to the elevators that lead to the cashiers so they can pay for Yoongi's purchase and Namjoon's bed and mattress. Although they still have to go to the furniture check out section down stairs, where they'll have to queue and wait to get their numbers called to get Namjoon's objects, before they can officially leave this hellish place, Yoongi is glad that their trip to Ikea only lasted for a bit over two hours (without counting the first hour they spent eating breakfast in the cafeteria) because he is ready to just drop back into his cozy bed and sleep a whole fifty years, and then maybe wake up to text Jimin and see if he could take the cute man out on a date the following week.

It has been way too long since he last has had a date with someone he really was interested in and genuinely felt like it go anywhere. Jimin's giggle and the way he had deeply cared for Namjoon's back problems and his well being when it come to sleeping had made something in Yoongi's heart turn incredibly soft. And there was the way Jimin had laughed loudly, his shoulders shaking and his eyes turning into crescents, at Seokjin's lame jokes that had turned Yoongi's heart into a quick beating mess (even if he hates Seokjin's jokes he had noticed a small smile creep up on his face).

Once they have their objects checked out and paid for, they walk out of Ikea and round the big building towards the cafeteria where they had eaten breakfast at but when the door slides open the place is completely and hauntingly empty (not even employees are standing behind the counter). Yoongi frowns and looks around.

"Maybe he is somewhere outside," Seokjin suggests and leaves the café, dragging Yoongi's heavy bag behind him.

With a sigh Yoongi nods and follows his friend outside, the sun above is now even hotter and brighter than it had been at 9am and he pulls down his cap to shield his eyes. He glances around with his limited vision but nowhere does he spot Namjoon. Seokjin is wandering around, the yellow bag now standing right by the entrance of the cafeteria where Yoongi stands himself, and looking for their missing friend, he seems panicky and worried, chewing on his bottom lip.

"Where the fuck is he?" Seokjin wonders out loud then. "We still need to pick up his bed and mattress," he says, his voice strangled and very high pitched.

Yoongi knows that voice all too well, it means Seokjin's stress levels are rising and that means he soon will turn into a stress infused monster. He swallows down his own uncertainty and rubs his temples in thought.

APRIL 5, 12:24 PM - INTERMISSION IN AN INTERMISSION: NAMJOON

Namjoon realized half an hour ago, when the scenery around him turned into toilets, sinks, and showers, that he had gotten even further lost than he initially hoped for and now he is distressingly wandering around aisles and aisles of white and shining ceramic, blinding him as the bright light from the lamps above reflects on the bathroom objects, in the search for an employee who could help him out of this situation. Out of this section and towards the exit.

(Namjoon has been tempted on more than one occasion to just use the emergency exit but he isn't sure if his situation is really considered an emergency and he is not in the mood to get into trouble with Ikea, specially if he doesn't even know if Seokjin and Yoongi got him a bed yet or not.)

Fuck, fuck, fuck, he thinks to himself and nearly screams when he bumps into a dude walking out of one of the showers. The man closes the shower door quickly behind him but Namjoon sees a cloud of smoke inside and a funny smell reaches his nostrils, he rises his eyebrows in disbelief. (What the fuck, who gets high at Ikea? he wonders to himself in a brief moment of calmness before he remembers again how utterly lost he is.)

"Hey, man, relax," the guy says, with a badly concealed cough, and Namjoon almost starts crying in relief when he recognizes the unnecessarily bright yellow Ikea shirt the guy wears. (The color of the shirt clashes with his dyed pink hair but somehow he still looks good.) He gives Namjoon a once over and frowns worriedly. "Dude, what got you so stressed?" he asks and Namjoon reads his name tag before he answers, Kim Taehyung.

"Well, you see, I got lost," he answers to which Taehyung laughs loudly. "It's not funny, I'm hungry and desperate."

"Okay, okay, okay, so where exactly are you trying to go?"

"About an hour and an half ago I was supposed to go to the cafeteria but here I am."

"Oh, man, oh man, oh my god," the guy mumbles to himself, laughing and doubling over to slap his thighs in amusement.

"Shut up, I'm pretty sure my friends are worried by now."

"Fine, okay, I'll lead you to the exit of this section and you text them to pick you up, alright?" Taehyung offers once he has calmed down and Namjoon nods, grateful. "Letsa' go," he chirps, imitating the voice the famous video game character, Mario, uses when a new game starts and Namjoon has grown very familiar with it over the past seven years that he has been friends with Seokjin but coming from this employee it sounds cringy.

About three minutes later they are in an empty hallway, by the elevators, in front of a big window, the view is pretty shit as it leads over an empty patch of cement right into another Ikea hallway, much more busy that the one Namjoon and Taehyung stand in. He pulls out his phone to text Yoongi. 

Namjoon pockets his phone again and glances at Taehyung who still stands right there, next to him, wearing a big and lazy grin on his face.

"Um," Namjoon begins, unsure what the fuck he is supposed to say to Taehyung, an Ikea employee who was smoking pot inside one of the showers only five minutes ago, "thanks?" he tries.

"No problem, dude." He slaps Namjoon's shoulder amicably and wanders off, into one of the Staff Only doors.

APRIL 5, 12:35 PM - INTERMISSION PART 1.1: YOONGI 

For a split second Yoongi does consider leaving Namjoon inside Ikea and leaving him to die there but then Seokjin pulls him by his collar back inside the fucking building and Yoongi can feel every single one of his body cells scream in protest. When Yoongi hates something he hates it with his entire being, he can force his body to come up with a fever if he needs it to to get out of meetings or exams - but he holds it back in this situation because Namjoon is his dearest friend and he doesn't actually want to lose him to the Ikea labyrinth (what if he has to fight the boss right in the middle of the store, like how that one greek myth with the minotaur goes).

So they are back in business, strolling around shelves and customers until they reach the elevators and Seokjin presses the button to call over the left elevator. They wait, the older while biting his bottom lip in worry and arms crossing in front of his chest, and when the elevator pulls down in front of them, the doors opening slowly, he is so ready to step inside and just get Namjoon as quickly as possible so they can leave.

But Yoongi stops dead in his tracks, as does Seokjin, because there, inside the metal box, stands an employee. He is tall (taller than Yoongi, at least) with tanned skin and his hair, dyed a horribly bright pink, falls loosely onto his forehead. He stands, right by the exact middle of the elevator, holding one of the infamous hot dogs, from his wrist hangs a plastic bag filled with more hot dogs from what Yoongi can make out, and without breaking eye contact with them he shoves the thing inside his mouth.

Seokjin screams and presses the button to close the elevator's door in panic, muttering come on repeatedly under his breath. The employee, whose name tag reads Kim Taehyung, cackles to himself as the door closes, giving Yoongi a wink before he is completely out of his vision field.

There's a brief silence in which Seokjin recomposes himself, breathing loudly and running a distressed hand through his blonde hair, messing it up, and once he has calmed down he moves to press the right elevator's button. Yoongi himself is still trying to comprehend what the fuck just happened, and he makes a pack with himself right there that he will never go to Ikea ever again.

After their elevator arrives and they step inside, Seokjin presses the button for the third floor, there's a tense silence spread over them. Seokjin fumbles with the blue straps of Yoongi's bag, which he still carries with him. The elevator comes to a stop and the doors slide open in front of them, revealing a busy hallway, families pushing shopping carts around with their kids trailing behind them. But nowhere does Yoongi spot Namjoon and he frowns because Namjoon said he is in the third floor by the elevators, outside of the Bathroom section, which is exactly where Seokjin and Yoongi are now, stepping out of the elevator and walking over towards the big window, out of the traffic of families and other customers.

"Where is he?" Seokjin demands, stressed and running his hand through his dyed blonde hair, messing it up and glancing around with worry.

"I don't know, maybe he runs late," Yoongi replies but even he knows that's bullshit, Namjoon has to be here, he said so in the text he sent around ten minutes ago, but he just isn't.

Yoongi stands on his tiptoes, craning his neck to get a better look at the hallway and looks around but he sees no one that even remotely resembles Namjoon. The big digital clock hanging from the ceiling reads 12:37pm now and Yoongi taps his foot impatiently because he is hungry and needs some food, and if Namjoon doesn't appear any time soon he is going to personally fight him in the Ikea's parking lot later when he has found him. 

APRIL 5, 12:38 PM - NAMJOON

Oh no, no, no, no.

Namjoon lets out a moan of utter horror as he spots Yoongi and Seokjin waiting for him by the elevators next to the Bathroom section only that they are standing in the other hallway, the much busier one. Namjoon stares at their backs turned to him and calls out their names but of course they don't react - there are two thick glass windows and an entire patch of cement separating them. He turns to slam his fists against the window in defeat, hoping that somehow they will notice him. They don't and he resorts to jumping up and down, moving his arms around wildly.

Through some sort of miracle Yoongi seems to notice him, out of the corner of his eyes, and fully faces the big window, gaping at Namjoon. He blinks, astonished, and then, to Namjoon's horror, presses his entire face against the glass (how unsanitary.) Namjoon stares out of the big window in front of him, across the big abyss in between the two sections, at the other side where Yoongi stares back at him, his face pressed firmly against the glass with his eyes wide and mouth hanging open (he looks like a fish). Seokjin is behind him, not realizing yet that Yoongi has spotted Namjoon, and he begins to-

Namjoon frowns and feels the secondhand embarrassment rise in his throat because Seokjin is dancing the fucking Macarena now in the middle a busy Ikea hallway (the song that plays from the big speakers that are installed by the ceiling all around the store isn't even the Macarena song) and he quickly fishes the phone out of his jeans' pocket, opening the chat log he has with Yoongi to quickly send a text to his friend.  

Namjoon sees Yoongi flinch visibly and detach his face from the window to quickly pull out his phone from his pocket (behind him Seokjin has commenced his third round of the Macarena dance and the song has switched to something upbeat from The Weeknd). He stares at his phone after presumably opening the text Namjoon has sent him, for a moment he doesn't react just stares at the devices' screen with a blank expression but then it turns into confusion and he lets out a laugh. He glances up at Namjoon before he turns his face down again to type out a reply.   

Namjoon looks at his own text and he lets out a laugh of his own. Fucking autocorrect. 

Across the big abyss in between them Namjoon can see Yoongi turning to Seokjin, his mouth moving and Seokjin stops dancing, slowly and disappointed, his arms still spread out in front of him, he lets them drop by his sides though as he catches Namjoon's stare from the other side. He seems slightly embarrassed but waves at Namjoon, Namjoon waves back.

But then it comes crashing back to him that he is still incredibly lost and his quest to find back to his friends hasn't gotten any closer to getting resolved. He has no fucking idea how to get to where they are as to his right there's a solid wall and to his left is the hallway he came from which definitely doesn't lead to where Yoongi and Seokjin are. On the other side his friends seem to be faced with a similar problem, the construction the same as Namjoon's but mirrored, behind them only the elevators they had come with. 

It's not a problem he will just, he will just walk into the elevator, yes, like Seokjin and Yoongi are doing. In there there should be a list with the floors and what exactly he can find on each floor, so he turns around and faces the silver doors. He reaches out his long finger and presses it against the button on the wall, in between the two metal boxes, and waits. The elevator on the left arrives first and he steps inside, he scans the assortment of buttons, a small list of the floors and sections and other rooms, until he reads Dining Area - Second floor and presses the 2.

The elevator's door shuts close and the box rattles alive and moves downwards. The ride makes Namjoon feel the slightest bit dizzy and he steps out of the elevator once he reaches his destination. Okay, well, he thinks to himself as he takes in the hallway he is standing in, it's narrow and there are no signs leading him to the dining area. He looks to his left and then to his right and mentally plays one of those children games to choose in between two things and it lands on the door to his left. He walks the short distance, presses down the handle, and pushes it open, revealing a big room with tables and chairs. Thank, god. It's a bit odd though, as the walls are painted with pastel colors and the tapestries are rather childish, he guesses Ikea is trying to branch out their designs. It's eerily empty and quiet and he doesn't like it but he keeps walking forward, noticing that the chairs have animal faces printed onto them and the blankets on top of the tables are made out of paper, colored pencils scattered around.

He frowns further and slowly reaches into his pocket to get out his phone, where the fuck are Seokjin and Yoongi?

He chooses to sit down on one of the chairs, it's uncomfortable and shaped like a dinosaur. He dials Seokjin's number, which he knows by memory, and presses the phone to his ear, waiting for his friend to pick up. He lets his eyes wander around the room, from the childish looking clock on the wall with big numbers to the treasure chest filled with toys to the ball pit behind him. It's a fucking weird interior design for a dining hall but Namjoon can't really say much about it because he isn't an architect or interior designer, he is a musician.

"Namjoon, where are you?" Seokjin finally picks up the phone but doesn't bother with pleasantries, going straight to the point.

"Uh, the dining area," he states.

"What? Where? I don't see you."

"Where are you?" he asks and looks around the rather small room, not seeing his friends, only a family in the far back eating together.

"The dining area," Seokjin replies, slow and unsure.

Namjoon swallows and closes his eyes. No, there is just no way. It can't be that he got lost again, that's just not possible and he refuses to believe it. This is a dining area, for fuck's sake there even is a small counter that displays food. There are tables and chairs, a cutlery stand that offers trays and napkins as well. There are trashcans and there is a whole ass family right there enjoying their lunch time. Namjoon isn't the one that's lost.

"That's impossible because I'm at the dining area and you guys are definitely not here."

"What?" Seokjin sputters out, completely taken aback. "Where exactly are you then? We can't see you. Yoongi is standing on top of a table, do you see him?"

Namjoon looks at the few colorful plastic tables in the room and there is not one single Yoongi standing on top of any of them.

"Um, no..."

"Did you get lost again?"

"No, I didn't, I took the elevator that leads to the dining room and here I fucking am. You guys got lost," he tells his friend, rather annoyed and his voice coming out a lot more frustrated and angry than he means to. 

"Well we can't see you, it's so busy in here, make some sort of sign or something. I don't know," Seokjin shoots back and Namjoon frowns.

"Busy?" he asks utterly confused. "There's only one family here. And me."

"Namjoon just admit that you got lost again," Seokjin snaps at him. "It's fine, I'll tell Yoongi to get you." His voice sounds tired and done.

Namjoon pulls a face in annoyance about to snap back at Seokjin, tell him that he is in fact at the dining area and they were the ones in the wrong, but then his eyes slowly catch up on the decorations around him - that had appeared too colorful, uncoordinated, and childish when he first had stepped inside this room - and it slowly dawns on him, as he shifts awkwardly on the uncomfortable dinosaur chair he sits on, that he finds himself in the children's dining area and not where he was supposed to meet with his friends.

(It also dawns on him that the dinosaur he sits on is not a chair but rather a slide for toddlers.)

To say he is embarrassed is an understatement and he swallows down the cringe as he gets up from the fucking dinosaur slide, rubbing his aching butt, and moves to the exit, his phone still pressed to his ear as he hears Seokjin complain on the other side.

"Okay, okay, maybe you were right," he finally says and Seokjin stops rambling.

"See, I told you. God, I can't believe that this is the guy my heart decided to-" he cuts himself off rather abrupt and it's extremely silent then, in fact so silent that Namjoon catches Yoongi say something from the other side. 

(His tone of voice is amused and Namjoon can picture the smirk on his face.)

"I honestly don't know what you see in Joonie, he can be such a mess sometimes," Yoongi says and Namjoon is about to complain, say that Yoongi is equally as messy as him but he doesn't get an opportunity as Yoongi keeps talking. "I can't believe he is straight because he would fit so nicely into the dysfunctional-gay-meme."

"Yoongi would you just shut up, please," Seokjin snaps at him, his voice sounding loud in Namjoon's ears and he pulls the phone away from his ear. "The only dysfunctional gay here is you."

"Nah, it's you," Yoongi says back easily, the shrug he does is palpable in his voice. "You turn into the biggest gay mess when Namjoon's around."

"Yoongi," Seokjin hisses but Namjoon doesn't pay attention anymore because, what?

He back tracks through the conversation trying to fully understand what he has just overheard. What the fuck, what the actual fuck?

Seokjin, is gay?

Seokjin who has been Namjoon friend ever since he was eighteen and Seokjin was twenty, who he thought he knew well enough and inside out only to discover now that Seokjin is gay and apparently turns into a gay mess (whatever that means) when Namjoon is around. In all the seven years they have known each other it's true that the older man never really has had a girlfriend or, the times they went out partying, he didn't really enable with any girl (not like Yoongi enabled with boys and ended up making out with them in front of everyone) but Namjoon always thought that perhaps Seokjin just was a rather private person when it came to those matters, taking the girls to a private place. But it makes sense now, it all does.

Namjoon thinks about how this makes him feel, to know that Seokjin is gay.

He isn't grossed out, of course, after all he is friends with Min Yoongi, who is the most unapologetic and chaotic gay man Namjoon has ever met in his twenty-five years of being alive. Maybe he feels a bit betrayed that Seokjin has neglected telling him such an important piece of information but then he thinks about how Seokjin hasn't really shown any interest in boys either - or maybe he has but Namjoon just hadn't been perceptive enough as he had assumed all this time that Seokjin was straight.

The words Yoongi spoke minutes ago come echoing back into his brain, you turn into the biggest gay mess when Namjoon's around, biggest gay mess when Namjoon's around, when Namjoon's around. Did that mean that Seokjin, possibly, maybe- No, there is no way Seokjin likes Namjoon romantically in any shape, form, or way whatsoever. That is impossible and at this point Namjoon is just being delusional (maybe Yoongi meant it in the sense that Seokjin's own messy energy plus the one that Namjoon radiates just turned him into an even bigger mess than he usually is, and since he is gay that just makes him a gay mess).

He is brought out of his thoughts by a concerned voice speaking directly into his ear and Namjoon blinks slowly, focusing his eyes on the infantile decorated room he is in, and starts paying attention to Seokjin's voice on the other side of the line, he sounds worried and is calling out his name repeatedly.

"Namjoon, hello? Are you okay? Fuck, please respond. Namjoon, hello? Joonie?" he keeps trying but Namjoon is unable to reply because in front of him he can picture Seokjin's worried face all too perfectly (almost as if is standing right there with him in the children's dining area) with his eyebrows pulled together, his brown eyes laced with concern, and his plump lips pulled into a thin line. And Namjoon can see it so vividly that he slowly reaches out his free hand to trace Seokjin's face but then he stops abruptly, realizing what he was about to do. "No, you fuck, he hasn't hang up yet, the call is still connected," comes Seokjin's voice, but it's quieter, as if he pulled away the phone from his mouth before snapping at Yoongi.

Namjoon's mouth turns dry as his heart beats wildly in his chest. What the fuck, what the fuck, fuck. He swallows thickly as an epiphany slowly makes its way into his brain, the world in front of him spins out of focus and his vision turns blurry. Then he hears Seokjin laugh, not the loud and stupid laugh he usually uses but it's rather the one that he has when he is confronted with something he hasn't expected and is genuinely amused, his eyes crinkling and there's always so much delight on his face when that laugh blooms out of his chest.

Namjoon swallows again and pulls the phone away from his ear (faintly he hears Seokjin talking to him again at the other side of the line but in his panicked state he can't make out his words anymore) and disconnects the call, locking his phone and pushing it far into his pocket so he doesn't lose it later when this weird panicky state he finds himself in is over.

There's a rushing in his ears and his legs get weaker, almost making him double over and fall, and he has to reach out one of his hand to stabilize himself on the wall but it doesn't do much, in the end, as he stumbles and falls, butt first, into the ball pit (the colorful balls fly everywhere around him as his weight crashes on top of them). Vaguely he feels his phone buzz from where it's stuffed inside his jeans' pocket but he can't focus on that right now, he can't focus on anything and the last piece stability he has left fades as his hands slip on the balls he was holding himself up on. He falls back into the pit entirely, the balls covering his body like a rainbow colored blanket.

The irony of it hits him then and he lets out a strangled laugh that soon turns into a panicked sob.

APRIL 5, 1:21 PM - JUNGKOOK

His stomach grumbles loudly and he clutches it with his free hand as he keeps the other clasped around the handle of the cart that he pushes forward towards the elevators. They have acquired everything important they needed from the Bedroom and Living Room section and are on their way to take their well deserved break, and Jungkook can't wait to get his hands on some tasty meatballs.

Hoseok presses the button of the elevator and the door slides open, he steps inside and Jungkook follows suit. Once they're inside Hoseok presses the button to the dining area up in the second floor. It's 1pm and their biological clock reminds them that it's time for food so they decided to take a break before they continue shopping for whatever they have left on the list, it's mostly smaller items anyway that they can throw into the shopping cart as they stroll mindlessly through the Ikea aisles.

Jungkook is pumped to get home later in the evening and set up all the furnitures, although he has minimal knowledge when it comes to things like these that's the perk of Ikea, it comes with easy enough instructions and he just has to put together piece A and B and voilà he has an entire bed put up in an hour.

When they reach the second floor where the dining are is there's a big queue and Jungkook feels mildly disappointed but it fades once his nose picks up the smell of meat, his mouth waters and he quickly pushes the cart out, almost running his boyfriend over.

Two security men brush past them in a hurry, one of them has his walkie-talkie out and over the static line Jungkook picks up half a sentence.

"-the man is now full on crying in the ball pit and refuses to leave-" the voice of a woman says, annoyed and desperate. And Jungkook thinks, yikes.

"Ugh, we don't get paid enough for this," one of the security men comments as they further speed walk down the hallway, he sounds incredibly done. His colleague agrees with a hum.

In the two hours he has been inside Ikea Jungkook isn't sure if he likes the store or if he absolutely despises it. He doesn't quite remember much of the couple of times he had been there as a child, mostly because he doesn't remember much of his childhood - it's all a haze in his mind - but what he does remember from visiting Ikea is nothing like the strange and bizarre occurrences he has faced today. From that one creepy employee that seems to be everywhere they go to Hoseok's old flatmate just reading a book as if it's no ones business to apparently a grown ass man crying in a ball pit.

Once they are inside the dining area and standing in the queue, trays in their hands, Jungkook looks around the tables to see if he can find an empty spot where they could eat at peace. To his dismay his eyes land on a table by the far end, next to the big windows that have an amazing view on the parking lot, where a familiar Ikea employee with pink hair sits at. Taehyung is shoving three meatballs into his mouth as he talks to his colleague in front of him, a man with a stature smaller than both Jungkook and Taehyung, with chubby cheeks and pitch black hair. He is laughing at whatever Taehyung is telling him, eyes turned to crescents and the sound of his laugh arrives all the way across the busy and noisy dining area over to where Jungkook and Hoseok stand in the form of a high pitched giggle.

"I really hope Namjoon has a good explanation as to why he is not picking up," the dude in front of Jungkook says and he wouldn't have paid attention to the conversation of the two strangers in front of him if it wasn't for that now familiar name falling from the lips of the taller of the two men.

"I don't know, Jin, maybe he ran out of battery or something. You know how he is," the shorter man replies with an unbothered shrug, craning his neck to take a better look at the food displayed in front of them.

"Yeah but I worry," the other says, pulling out his phone and Jungkook can see the wallpaper the guy has set up before he opens a message log. It's a picture of two men, one of them he recognizes as the ex flatmate of Hoseok, Namjoon, the other man on the picture has softer features and looks rather pretty. "Is there some sort of secret dining area he has accidentally stumbled upon?"

"Knowing Namjoon that's a possibility." The shorter man lets out a laugh.

Finally, thank heavens, it's Jungkook and Hoseok's turn to get their grabby hands on the food being displayed and Jungkook fills his entire plate with only meatballs while Hoseok chooses his food a bit more carefully, adding potatoes and pasta to his plate as well as a generous portion of tomato sauce over the meatballs.

Jungkook's stomach grumbles loudly and he licks his lips hungrily as they make their way over to an empty table.

APRIL 5, 1:32 PM - INTERMISSION PART 2: SEOKJIN

He is three meatballs shoved-deep-into-his-mouth-in when his phone begins to buzz from where it lays on the table, vibrating loudly on the plastic surface, and when Seokjin reads Namjoonie calling... light up on the screen of the device he chokes.

Yoongi gives him a blank look but swallows his own food with a sip of his Pepsi before he finally picks up the phone leaving Seokjin to his choking (he has proceeded to cough loudly, slapping his chest and taking cautious sips from his own Pepsi).

"What's up? Seokjin's phone but Yoongi speaking," he greets the caller, readjusting the phone so he can keep eating. "Um, what? Who are you?" he asks concerned and stops his fork mid air, tomato sauce dripping down on his plate. "What?!" he sputters out with a laugh and nods his head multiple times, listening attentively. "Wait, okay, yes, he is here, hold on a second, he is currently choking on balls." Yoongi removes the phone from his ear and hands it over to Seokjin who has slowly regained his composure and isn't coughing wildly anymore.

Seokjin takes the device and presses it to his ear, ready to ask Namjoon where the fuck he is but instead he is greeted with an unfamiliar voice of a woman.

"Am I speaking to Kim Seokjin?" she asks and Seokjin frowns at Yoongi, demanding an explanation but his flatmate only shrugs and keeps eating.

"Yes, that's me, who am I talking to?"

"I'm part of the customer service managment team of Ikea, we found your friend, Kim Namjoon, having a panic attack by the children's dining area inside the ball pit. I must ask you to come pick him up by the main office in the first floor by the Living Room section," she explains, her voice blank and lacking any emotions, and Seokjin closes his eyes for a brief second trying to make sense of her words.

"Namjoon was found crying? In a ball pit?" he asks her, to make sure he understood her words correctly.

"Yes," she replies, letting out a frustrated sigh. "Once he calmed down and the security guards brought him here he told us to call you."

"Okay, okay, I'll- I'll be on my way," he tells her and she hangs up.

Seokjin stares at the devices' screen which is now back to showing the wallpaper picture, where he and Namjoon smile back at him, and then he moves his eyes up at Yoongi, who is still eating his food but there's a light, amused smirk gracing his lips. With a sigh Seokjin gets up.

"I'll get Namjoon, you stay here, okay?" he asks of his friend who just nods. "Yoongi, I'm serious, please stay here."

"Don't worry, I won't wander off," Yoongi promises him, his eyes moving up at Seokjin's, smirk now fully blooming on his face.

God, Seokjin thinks to himself as he makes his way out of the crowded dining area and towards where the elevators lay.

When the security guard opens the door to the office where supposedly Namjoon is in after Seokjin had shown the guard his ID to verify he was in fact Kim Seokjin, the one and only, and tell him he was being awaited to pick up the Large Crying Man of the Ball Pit, as Namjoon has been dubbed by the Ikea staff by now, he isn't sure what to expect if he is honest.

He certainly doesn't expect to find Namjoon sipping tea off of a small porcelain mug, that they definitely don't sell at Ikea, laughing together with a woman that Seokjin assumes is the one he talked to earlier on the phone. They seem to be in a good mood and when Seokjin clears his throat, awkwardly and unsure, the woman looks up at him, her smile brightening even further. Namjoon turns around and chokes on his drink, some of it sliding down his chin and he hastily pulls up his hand to wipe it away, his cheeks turning a faint pink.

"So you must be Kim Seokjin, am I right?" the woman inquires and Seokjin nods, shuffling awkwardly. "Thank you for showing up to pick up your friend, he got desperately lost and said he wanted to wait until you came so he can reunite with you."

"Yes, I- Thank you," he mutters out, unsure what else he is supposed to say.

"I hope despite your friend getting lost and having a panic attack in the children's dining area your stay at Ikea has been pleasant?"

"Yes, yes, definitely, it's all going peachy, thank you," he reassures her, shaking his hands in front of him in a dismissive manner. "Namjoon, come on, lets go." Namjoon gets up and bows in front of the woman, placing down the porcelain mug back on her desk, and follows Seokjin out of the room.

The security guard waves them off with a small chuckle which makes Namjoon's face turn pink in embarrassment. They wander towards the elevators but before Seokjin steps inside he stops Namjoon and pulls him into the staircase that leads to the roof and underground parking slots. He rubs his neck awkwardly as he lets his eyes fall on his friend. He had been so worried this entire time about his well being and now knowing he had had a panic attack, alone and lost, it makes him worry even more.

"Namjoon," he starts, slowly, checking his friend for any injuries but doesn't find any whatsoever, "are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine, totally fine, 100% fine," Namjoon stutters out, not meeting his eyes, and seemingly shy.

"Are you sure?" Seokjin further presses, worried.

"Yes, Jin, I am sure," he looks up to meet Seokjin's eyes.

There's something in Namjoon's eyes then, something he hasn't really noticed before, and he feels his throat close on him, his heart beat picking up and his mouth running dry. The intensity in Namjoon's stare is driving him up the walls and he feels his hands shake. He licks his lips cautiously and Namjoon's eyes flicker down to follow the movement and whoah, what? That's new.

But before Seokjin can further proceed to untangle what exactly that means his phone buzzes in his pocket and he lets out a surprised yelp which, in consequence, makes Namjoon jump, pulling away (when had he leaned in?) startled and busying himself with rearranging his hair while he looks around the cement staircase, very interested in its construction and avoiding to look at Seokjin. 

"We have to leave like right about now, Yoongi is about to cause a scene," he tells Namjoon, after stuffing his phone back into his trousers' pocket, with a frustrated sigh.

Namjoon nods and they walk off to the elevators, Seokjin presses the button a couple of times in the hopes that it will speed up the process but of course it doesn't and it feels like an eternity before the door finally opens. Inside is the same weird employee with the pink hair and he still holds a hot dog in his hand (most likely he got a new one in the mean time) and as he makes eye contact with them he shoves the entire thing into his mouth. This time though, Seokjin doesn't even hesitate or go for the other elevator, he steps inside pulling Namjoon with him and presses the button for the second floor.

APRIL 5, 2:46 PM - JUNGKOOK

It's over an hour later and Jungkook now has about two dozens of meatballs slushing around in his stomach, he grins satisfied at his boyfriend, and takes a sip of his Sprite, moving the liquid around in his mouth to get every left over piece of food that hides away in between his teeth and other corners of his mouth until he finally swallows it down. He puts the glass back on the table and fixates Hoseok with a questioning stare.

For about twenty minutes now Hoseok has been acting strangely, shifting in his seat and glancing at something over Jungkook's shoulder nervously. He had ignored it favor of finishing his food but now that he is done, he can't help but worry about his boyfriend's nervousness, it's starting to affect him and when he is nervous his tummy tends to get upset and that always leads to him throw up and he can't afford throwing up 24 digested meatballs (plus Sprite) in the middle of Ikea's dining area. That's horrid and unnecessary.

"What's wrong, babe?" he finally asks, after Hoseok took a sip of his own Sprite, nearly letting the glass on the floor after he accidentally was about to put it down and missed the table by full ten centimeters.

"Huh." Hoseok's eyebrows shoot up and he looks at Jungkook surprised. "Nothing's wrong. Don't worry about it."

"Babe, you're clearly nervous, did something happen?" Jungkook further questions and when Hoseok glances once again at something behind Jungkook he finally decides he has had enough and turns around but Hoseok reaches out his arm and stops him.

"No!" he exclaims rather loudly and a couple of people turn to look at them.

"Babe..."

"Sorry it's just- I had this entire surprise prepared for you but it seems as if they're having difficulties and um, you know what, let's just fuck off out of here," Hoseok explains and then moves to gather their plates and cutlery so it fits on one tray and he stands up, taking the tray with him.

"What surprise?" Jungkook follows suit but doesn't let go of the topic.

Hoseok licks his lips slowly, weighting his options on whether he should reply or not, whether he should tell the truth or not, but then his eyes widen in horror and Jungkook hears a chorus of children starting to hum slightly off tune that one famous song from that one British movie Love Actually.

"Love, love, love, love, love, love," the children begin to sing then and Jungkook swallows down the jittery excitement that has overcome him and turns to look at Hoseok, who wears an expression half pained and half amused.

There in the middle of the Ikea dining area is a choir of about seven kids all around the age of eleven or twelve, wearing white suits and dresses, in front of them is the choir instructor in a white suit as well. Behind the choir is a huge banner being held up by a group of Ikea employees, who are still in their ugly yellow shirts but they all wear a flower crown each. The banner's words are barely visible as the font is almost the same color as the background and Jungkook lets out a light laugh. It's surreal and badly planned and stupid but he loves it.

"Well, this is a bit awkward but it gets as good as it does, am I right?" Hoseok chuckles to himself and deposits the trays back on the table, moving to stand right in front of Jungkook. He gives him a meaningful stare, full of love and affection and Jungkook feels weak on his knees, his stomach bubbling with nervousness and excitement (he regrets then having eating all those meatballs) as he can merely guess what his boyfriend is about to do. "Will you marry me?" Hoseok asks once he has kneeled down in front of him.

"All you need is love," the children sing and the customers around them are watching on with excitement and shimmery, tear filled eyes as Jungkook nods his head repeatedly at Hoseok's proposal.

"Yes, fuck, what the fuck, of course," he stutters out and helps Hoseok up again, who takes out a small box out of his hoodie's pocket and opens it to reveal two matching rings, he slides one of them over Jungkook's finger and Jungkook takes the other to slide it over Hoseok's own ring finger.

The children are still singing, the director of the small choir telling them to keep on going, and when Jungkook leans forward to kiss his boyfriend's lips the room erupts with cheers and shouts and somewhere Jungkook spots the fucking weird Ikea employee with the pink hair popping open a bottle of champagne, drinking directly from it and then shoving it to his colleague with the black hair, who has tears running down his cheeks and is clapping loudly at them.

"To the gays!" Taehyung shouts and when he catches Jungkook's eyes he gives him a toast with the champagne bottle, some of its content slushing over and spilling onto the floor.

APRIL 5, 3:23 PM - NAMJOON

So.

So Namjoon is nervous and he never before has been faced with this type of nervousness. Wait, no. That's a lie, actually, he does feel plenty nervous around Seokjin. Back when he first had met him to now there's always been this thing about Seokjin that makes Namjoon feel a lot more clueless than he feels on a regular basis. And Seokjin is a rather private person, not really sharing his deepest thoughts and feelings, rather choosing to give Namjoon a long stare before he looks away without replying to any of Namjoon's questions.

So Namjoon is nervous as Yoongi, Seokjin, and him are standing inside the elevator going back to the ground floor to finally leave Ikea like they had planned hours ago. And it doesn't help his nervousness that Seokjin stands incredibly close to him all while Yoongi seems to ignore them in favor of playing around with his phone, leaving them to themselves. Namjoon can hear the way Seokjin inhales and exhales or the way he shifts his feet every couple of seconds. And it makes him nervous because now he has all these weird and tingly sensations running up and down his body every time he so much as takes a glance at the elder.

Once they are by the ground floor and out of the metal box, ready to leave the store, Yoongi blanches, tapping his hands around his body as if he is trying to capture something. He lets out a strangled scream, turns on his heels in a swift movement, and walks back into the elevator.

"Wait, where are you going?" Namjoon asks, panicked, and following his friend.

"My fucking shopping bag, I forgot it," he replies, slamming his finger against the button inside the elevator. "You stay here with Seokjin, I'll be right back." With that the doors close in front of him and the elevator moves up to the second floor.

There's a pregnant silence in between them and Namjoon moves back to stand by Seokjin's side, feeling even more nervous than before. At first they don't converse, just stay silent and avoid each other's eyes. Namjoon takes that as a possibility to understand his own, new feelings towards his friend and how exactly he should proceed with them but then Seokjin lets out a sigh and turns his face towards him and all Namjoon can do is return the gaze.

"Will you tell me what the fuck is up with you?" Seokjin asks, voice tired and swearing. Seokjin only ever swears when he is talking with Yoongi or if he is extremely annoyed or nervous. Namjoon doesn't know what applies to this situation.

"Um, nothing?" he croaks out, hesitantly, and Seokjin rolls his eyes.

"Come on, you can tell me. Did- Did something happen?" he asks then and his expression turns into one of worry.

Namjoon feels the guilt twist in his stomach.

"No, no, nothing happened, everything is just like before. I swear."

"Namjoon."

But before Namjoon can even say anything else he sees the pink haired employee that had helped him earlier, when he had been lost in the Bathroom section, approach them with a cheeky grin, his hands clasped together and rubbing them in a scheming manner. With every step he takes in their direction his grin seems to grow until it turns into a boxy smile, his eyes playful.

"The couple that is not really a couple, nice to finally meet you," he says and pats both of their shoulders. "Jimin has told me everything about you."

"What the- Wait," Seokjin says slowly, his eyes squinting at the employee, "aren't you the hot dog guy?" he asks him, forgetting his argument with Namjoon in favor of giving the employee a quizzical look.

"Maybe I am, maybe I am."

"We're not a couple," Namjoon feels the need to clarify to which he receives an incredulous look from the employee and a long suffering sigh from Seokjin.

"It's really nice to see you again," the older man begins, "but me and my friend were in the middle of, uh, discussing some important matters and we would like to continue," he finishes and shoots Taehyung a pointed look. Namjoon swallows.

"Yeah, of course," Taehyung nods but doesn't walk away, instead just stands there in front of them as if he is waiting for them to continue their argument with him witnessing it. As if it is a movie or something.

"Um, so, like, as I was saying," Namjoon reassumes, trying his very best at ignoring Taehyung and focusing all of his attention on remembering where exactly they had left of the debate. "Nothing happened."

Seokjin glances shortly at the employee but follows Namjoon's own example at simply ignoring him. "Seriously, Joonie, you can trust me and tell me what ever it is that is bothering you."

And Namjoon does consider it for a moment. Confessing to Seokjin that he has overheard Yoongi's words and that he suddenly became very aware of all these unknown feelings in his heart, all these thoughts and emotions that he never really has paid much attention to before because they made no sense to him, he never considered the possibility of himself being anything but straight. But then he had had this epiphany in the middle of the children's dining area and it had turned his entire world upside down, because he isn't in fact straight. He isn't.

Namjoon really does consider telling it, he looks into Seokjin's eyes, who look at him with worry, down to his nose, his cheekbones, up to his mussed blonde hair (that he so desperately wants to run his hand through, has been wanting for a long time but never really had followed his heart's desires because it seemed weird to him), all the way down to those plump lips that make his head dizzy.

He considers it but just as he is about to shut that thought completely down, the Ikea employee lets out a long sigh and both men turn their heads towards him.

"Damn, y'all really need to fuck," Taehyung says blankly (Seokjin scoffs at the vulgar language) after he gave them a long and calculated glance. "And it's going to happen. Usually this goes against our policy but you know what, I've had enough. This needs to happen," he further rambles to himself and pulls out a key chain that is connected to his belt, moving the numerous keys in between his long fingers until he seems to find the one he is looking for. "Follow me," he tells them.

Namjoon is about to decline, just like Seokjin, but Taehyung just keeps on staring at them as if he isn't going to take no for an answer, his gaze intense. Namjoon gulps and trails after him, reaching out unconsciously to take Seokjin's wrist in his hand and urge him to come along, the older man lets out a sigh but ends up letting Namjoon drag him along, easily.

"She go low, she go low, she go low, she go low, I go up, I go up, I go up, I go up," the song playing in the store suddenly bores its way into Namjoon's brain and he feels his cheeks heat up as he realizes he is still holding Seokjin's wrist. He lets go quickly as if he has been burned and makes a point to shove his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

Taehyung stops somewhere in the Living Room section in front of a small door, the label of the door has been covered up by a paper strap and instead there's a sign saying No Access in bold letters, and shoves the key inside the lock.

"Wait!" Seokjin calls out, his voice high pitched and he reaches out his hand to clasp it over Taehyung's to stop him. "I don't want to fuck Namjoon," he says and that, that stings, if Namjoon is honest.

"You don't?" the employee asks incredulous and rises both his eyebrows in surprise.

"No."

"Seriously?" Namjoon can't help himself (or the way his voice sounds petty and on the verge of snapping). "You really wouldn't want to fuck me? What about what Yoongi said?"

"What did Yoongi say?" Seokjin asks back and swallows nervously, removing his hand from where it was on top of Taehyung's. He shoots Namjoon a puzzled look.

"About- About you turning into a, er, gay mess and about, um, being gay and-" he sputters out, suddenly coming down from his brief moment of feeling offended, and very aware how stupid he sounds right there in that instant.

(Maybe Taehyung should just open the broom closet's door already and let Namjoon step inside to wallow in his stupidness, on his own, away from the wide eyed look Seokjin is throwing in his direction.)

"My god..." the pink haired mad mumbles to himself with a soft shake of his head, ready to turn the key but once again Seokjin stops him.

The employee just lets out an annoyed sigh, ignoring Seokjin's protests, and unlocks the broom closet's door quickly. Once the door is open he gives them a look of utter superiority and pushes them inside with a lot more strength than he seems to be in possession of at a first glance, his spaghetti arms suddenly Hulking out, and before Seokjin or Namjoon can even process what's happening they are already standing inside the incredibly small room and the door is getting slam shut, the key turning in the lock. Namjoon wants to shout and slam his fists against the door and beg Taehyung to let them out but he suddenly grows very aware of the situation they are in and just of how close he is to Seokjin, noticing the other's breath falling on his face.

He swallows and his entire body shivers. He is tense and his heart is beating so loudly Seokjin might as well hear it.

Namjoon shuffles awkwardly, trying his very best at not letting the tips of his shoes grace Seokjin's own shoes, and looks around the small broom closet that is being renovated (and he agrees, it is in very desperate need of renovations going by the humid looking ceiling where the paint was peeling off) in an attempt to pretend Seokjin is not standing right there in front of him, so incredibly close that Namjoon can smell the face cream he always applies to moisturize his skin, in all his glory with his pink lips parted slightly, still in surprise, and his brown eyes widened and chasing every single one of Namjoon's movements.

It's distressing, specially as the epiphany of figuring out his own sexuality and possible attraction his very male best friend is rather fresh, and he can't really think straight anymore. Or think at all, period. (Because he possibly isn't straight so he doubts he ever, actually thought straight in his lifetime.) But anyway, the point is that inside the small, stuffy broom closet it's proving to be extremely hard to ignore Seokjin's presence right there in front of him, so reachable and touchable, and it's driving Namjoon on edge. His heart beat has picked up and he has lost count of how many times he has swallowed in the past seconds, trying to get rid of the knot that has formed in his throat.

Seokjin is just right there in his stupid pink shirt that his too big on him and has holes in it and Namjoon quite frankly wonders why the fuck he wears it anymore when he leaves the house because it's disastrous and kinda embarrassing. Seokjin with his dyed blonde hair falling into his eyes, parted by the side but not as neatly as he had arranged it earlier that morning, and his big brown eyes that always somehow make Namjoon get lost in them and feel that eternal calmness settle on him, making him feel like doesn't need to chase life so desperately and as if he was drowning. (Those brown eyes that make his heart feel calmer.) Seokjin with his ridiculously plump and pink lips (like seriously, why the fuck has he lips like that, Namjoon always has wanted to know) that made Namjoon gulp heavily when he first had met Seokjin, seven years ago after Yoongi had introduced him, and still make him feel a bit shaky when he stares at them for a split second too long.

"Namjoon," Seokjin starts, his voice is raspy and Namjoon swallows again - he doesn't miss the way Seokjin's eyes follow the movement. "Namjoon, is there something you want to tell me?" he asks in a low whisper.

"Um, not particularly?" Namjoon squeaks out, it's embarrassing and he cringes at himself. "No, definitely not," he tries again, his voice only shakes slightly and he feels proud.

"Namjoon."

"Okay, fuck, fine," he gives in way too quickly and readjusts his feet, finally meeting Seokjin's eyes fully, fighting the urge to look away immediately and holding the other's gaze instead. "I-I, er, might have had this kinda, well, how to put it? Epiphany? Gay epiphany? Gapiphany?" he stutters out unintelligently, stumbling over his words and spitting out nonsense but he can't be stopped anymore, he is on a run. "Like, what's the word? Gay crisis? Yeah, I think that's it. And I kinda, I don't know, panicked in the ball pit and it was so fucking embarrassing like holy shit. But then in the office I spoke to the manager and calmed down a bit and I don't know, Jin, I think I really might like have a gay crush on you or something." He finishes his rather ugly confession and feels the heat spread on the back of his neck, down to his chest, and up to his cheeks, and soon he resembles a whole, freshly plucked tomato.

Seokjin stands there in front of him gaping, eyes wide in shock and confusion, and his cheeks slowly but surely turning just as red as Namjoon's own.

"Fuck you." Is the first thing Seokjin says and Namjoon is taken aback, licking his lips and frowning, moving his eyes away from the man in front of him and somewhere on the recently painted wall behind him.

'Fuck you'? What does that even mean, in this context? Is Seokjin angry? Is he upset and disgusted? Namjoon needs answers but he is too scared to ask for them so he just stares in confusion and fear at the white paint.

"You mean to tell me that you, you Kim Namjoon, straight-Kim Namjoon have a crush on me? A gay crush?" Seokjin further elaborates, repeating Namjoon's own words.

"Y-Yes? I mean, maybe. Could be a possibility. Definitely is a possibility," he replies eloquently and cringes at his own incapability of functioning like a normal man his age.

"That's... splendid," Seokjin tells him and his voice is shaky, he sounds as if he is trying hard to hold back a laugh or something and Namjoon looks up with dread, expecting to get mocked but instead he finds those brown eyes looking at him with an hefty amount of affection, unshed tears in them. "Really, Namjoon, that's wonderful because I too have a gay crush on you."

That's all he says before he closes the incredibly small gap in between them, latching a hand around Namjoon's neck to hold him place, and moves his plump lips to press them demandingly against Namjoon's own lips.

APRIL 5, 3:40 PM - INTERMISSION PART 3: TAEHYUNG

Oh, shit, his supervisor.

His supervisor is walking around the aisles looking for well, him. And Taehyung feels a tiny part of him panic because even if he isn't exactly all that fond or excited about furnitures or house accessories, working at Ikea is a nice job (maybe he could be a bit happier with a higher numbered paycheck) where he gets to fuck around during his shift and the store is so big that most of the time the other staff members with higher positions than him don't even notice when he is off to take a nap or roll himself a joint. Or well the few times he has slept with some of the other employees testing out if the beds were really as great as Ikea marketed them as.

So he really, really doesn't want to lose his job. He needs to keep it so he can further indulge on his obsession with buying himself expensive food, video games, and hit up all the gay first class clubs with Jimin.

Taehyung looks around him, like a deer caught in headlight, his body channeling all his fight or flight energy as he sees his superior walk towards where he is, not quite having spotted Taehyung yet, and he does the first thing that comes to his mind (which is a grave mistake). He yanks open the door to the broom closet that is being renovated where he seconds ago had shoved in Pretty Guy and Large Crying Man of the Ball Pit to resolve whatever sexual tension was going on there.

(He loves playing Cupid in his free time, too.)

The two guys pull apart with shock as he stumbles inside, shutting the door closed behind him quietly, and the pretty one lets out a yelp. Taehyung clasps his hand in front of his mouth shushing him urgently.

"What the fuck," says Large Crying Man of the Ball Pit looking at Taehyung with confusion.

"Please be quiet for a second, would you, I can't afford to lose my job."

"Don't you think it's rather suspicious if someone were to find the three of us inside the broom closet? As if this wouldn't make you get fired less-" but before he can further play being a smart ass the door of the broom closet opens and Taehyung quickly removes his hand from the customer's mouth.

His nightmare of a superior stands in front of them, short and with his eyebrows pulled together angrily.

"Kim Taehyung," he starts and the smell of his gelled hair almost makes Taehyung throw up, "explain," he demands, voice low.

"Sir, I found these two rascals making out in the broom closet and I was about to scold them personally," he tells him, bright grin on his face and he moves both of his hands to put them on the customers' collars respectively to pull them forward and past his superior. "How dare you do such a travesty here in Ikea, of all places, publicly and where there are children, of all things. This is a public act of indecency. No matter how in love couples are we have zero tolerance for-" he trails off once they are far away from the broom closet and his superior and hiding away in one of the set up and arranged bedrooms. "Phew," he sighs out, letting go of the two guys, and wiping away a thin layer of sweat that had formed on his forehead. "That was a close call."

"What the fuck," Large Crying Man of the Ball Pit repeats again and Taehyung has learned in this short time that his vocabulary mostly consists of that one sentence. "First you shove us in there to work on our 'sexual tension'," he forms quotation marks with his fingers as he says those two words, "and then you pull us out again, scolding us for doing what you told us to do in the first place." He seems upset, licking his swollen and kiss bruised lips but then his boyfriend (or whatever) lets out a delighted laugh and all the anger seems to seep out of him, glancing down at Pretty Guy with a look of utter whipped-ness.

"It's whatever, you're welcome in fact," Taehyung says and then his beeper goes off, he reads the small screen and sees that he is needed in the third floor by the Bathroom section, so with a last salute at the two guys he scurries off to the endless secret hallways Ikea has disposed for their staff members to move around quickly and swiftly instead of having to pass through the maze that is Ikea.

"We're never going to Ikea ever again," he hears Large Crying Man of the Ball Pit say.

"It's not that bad," the other replies, amused.

APRIL 5, 4:32 PM - JUNGKOOK

He heaves out a panicked breath as the alarm bells ring above him and moves away from the emergency door, shooting Hoseok a distressed look. Hoseok himself can only laugh loudly as he moves the shopping cart back into the hallway they had come from. Jungkook is about to follow him but he catches one of the Staff Only doors open and fucking Kim Taehyung comes out of it, licking his lips as he spots them and rising his eyebrows bemusedly.

"Oh, it's the gays," he says happily. "Listen, pals, you can't actually use the emergency doors, they are explicitly for emergencies," he tells them as he stands right in front of them. Hoseok nods while Jungkook just frowns.

"I-It was an emergency, we can't find the exit," he explains.

"God, what's up with everyone getting lost today." Taehyung rolls his eyes but he doesn't seem all too annoyed. "I'm going to show you the way, alright?"

"That'd be great, thank you," Hoseok says, grateful and shooting Jungkook a meaningful look.

"Yes, thank you," Jungkook mumbles out despite that he still doesn't fully like this weird Ikea employee.

"Let's go then."

Taehyung leads the way, moving through the aisles with expertise but he stops every time he comes across another employee to practice some strange handshake with them and Jungkook suddenly wonders if that maybe is part of the working policy there. He has heard horror stories of that one American store, Walmart, where the employees are forced to practice some strange rituals before the store opens and to smile, constantly, no matter what. He feels panic creep up in his chest as Taehyung once again stops to do the exact same handshake with another Ikea employee, their faces devoid of any emotion. It all looks so mechanical.

After about half an hour they are finally, finally by the check outs, there's a small queue there but after everything Jungkook has gone through he doesn't even care anymore. It's the exit, they're so close to leaving and going home, he doesn't care about having to wait a couple of minutes more before he can officially walk out of the doors of this hell hole.

"Well, it was an honor serving you today," Taehyung begins as they stand by one of the check outs and pulls out a piece of paper from a small pocket in the front of his yellow shirt. "If you wouldn't mind filling out this customer service inquiry..." He hands Jungkook the paper with a smile and waders off back into the labyrinth after biding them goodbye.

"I'll fill it out, you can start putting the stuff on the mechanical band," Hoseok says and Jungkook hands him the paper, out of the corner of his eyes he watches as his boyfriend gives Taehyung all the highest qualifications.

He guesses they could have been faced with a much worse employee and Taehyung hadn't been all that bad, just a bit stranger.

APRIL 5, 5:41 PM - NAMJOON

He is pushing the cart with the bed and mattress inside across the big Ikea parking lot, trying to remember where exactly Yoongi had parked his beat down car, Seokjin and the driver of said car strolling behind him. Yoongi is busy with his phone, a smirk playing on his lips as he is typing out something.

"I can't believe you got lost," Seokjin says after a while, holding back his laughter.

"Shut up, it's not my fault Ikea is a maze."

"I have to agree with Namjoon, Ikea is a maze and they need better planning out and more detailed maps," Yoongi agrees and looks up then. "Wait, no, that's the wrong way, my car is definitely not parked over there," he stops in his tracks and glances around the big parking lot, his cap shielding him from the blaring sun above them. He seems to spot the car because his expression lightens up in acknowledgement and he begins walking the opposite direction from where Namjoon was walking, his fingers still typing out something on his phone, as if his fingers know exactly what he wants to type. "How do you even survive?"

"I don't," Namjoon grumbles out and spins the cart around with effort, it almost tumbles over, and Seokjin laughs at him, but it's not mocking, rather amused and there's a softness in his eyes that has always been there but Namjoon only starts to notice it more now.

He feels his neck getting warm as he think about everything that has happened in Ikea and how him and Seokjin had ended up making out in the broom closet, that is getting renovated, after getting shoved inside by the weird, pink haired employee. He can't believe he got both a bed and a boyfriend (sort of) while shopping at Ikea.

Yoongi reaches his car and unlocks it before he moves to open his trunk so Namjoon can shove the bed and the mattress inside (he is still unsure how exactly they will make it fit inside with the three of them but he has always loved Tetris and this is just like the game he guesses). Yoongi leans against the side of his car as Namjoon and Seokjin begin to unpack the cart and place the big and heavy items inside the car plus the small bag full of the items Yoongi has bought for himself.

"Shit," Yoongi suddenly curses, as Namjoon is in the middle to adjusting the mattress into the car, carefully to not bump into anything or cause any big harm to the inside's of his best friend's car. "Shit, shit, shit," he further curses and stares at the device in his hands with disbelief.

Seokjin rises his eyebrows in confusion at first but as realization replaces the confusion and a playful smirk blooms on his face, Namjoon guesses he must understand what Yoongi's mishap is about. Seokjin moves towards the driver and snatches the phone out of his hands to stare at the screen. He is silent for a split second before he lets out a high pitched laugh, it echoes around the parking lot, some customers in the distance turn their head towards them. Yoongi looks at him with betrayal in his eyes and reaches out to snatch his phone back from Seokjin but the older holds it up where Yoongi can't reach it.

"Namjoon, you have to look at this," he says and hands him the phone.

Namjoon struggles with keeping the mattress in place and taking the phone out of Seokjin's hands without Yoongi getting his hands on it, once he holds it though he looks at the screen and sees that the drama is about a text message Yoongi has sent only a couple of seconds ago. When Namjoon reads it he can't quite believe at first what his eyes see and he tries to make sense of the words but fails, then he moves his eyes to the contact name the message was sent to. He parts his lips in surprise and snaps his eyes up at Yoongi.

"'Jimin, cute Ikea guy'," he reads out loud and Yoongi pulls his lips into a thin line, a blush appearing on his cheeks.

"He saved himself as that but I agree he is cute," he explains.

"Wait so, wait. What?"

"Well Seokjin had to leave to fill out the papers for the purchase of your bed and I took the opportunity to flirt with Jimin, and I got his number," he adds the last bit with a cheeky smirk, forgetting momentarily the messy texts he has sent.

Namjoon nods at that and moves his eyes back down at the message log, he sees bubbles appear and disappear on the screen, the anticipation rises in his chest and he stares at it with his eyes wide. He wonders then what kind of reply someone could say to what Yoongi had accidentally typed out and he hopes that this Jimin guy has humor because otherwise this fling will end fairly quick and Yoongi will be back to complain about being single (and Namjoon definitely has had enough of that).

"He is typing back," he tells his friends.

"Shit," Yoongi snatches the phone out of Namjoon's grip with a quick movement and moves to sit in the driver's seat, away from them but he isn't quick enough for Namjoon to miss the reply. "This is why I shouldn't walk, talk, and text at the same time, I can't focus on multiple things at once," he mumbles to himself from inside the car. 

Once everything is settled inside the car Namjoon moves to sit in the passengers seat while Seokjin returns the cart to the cart rack. Yoongi is still texting Jimin, a playful smile on his face, but once Seokjin comes back he locks his phone, puts in inside a phone holder he has installed by the radio, connects the AUX cord to it, and hands it Namjoon.

"Play some music, would you," he tells his friend as he slides his car key inside the ignition, he turns it once and steps on the pedal, shifting the stick, and the car rumbles alive. He sets the stick to the reverse setting and turns around in his seat to look back and get out of the the parking spot. "What the fuck," he mutters as he barely can see through the bed and mattress ostracizing his view but he manages somehow to get them out safely.

They drive down the parking lot until they reach the exit and onto the small road behind Ikea that leads them to the highway. The music playing inside the car is momentarily stopped as Yoongi gets an incoming text massage, it lights up the phone and Namjoon reads the notification board. A message from Jimin (cute ikea guy) who has sent a simple yes.

"Guess who just got a date?" Yoongi smirks to himself and taps his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the music that has picked up again.