Archive of Our Own ^beta

the outside world had never been worth the hype- from what renjun knew due to the one time he had accidentally slipped between his mother’s legs and fallen head first into the gracious brightening color of the green grass. from that point on, renjun’s parents were very reluctant to let the child out of the house, despite his constant cries and temper tantrums- and when he had gotten a bit older- his threats to call the police.

when renjun had reached high school age, he began to stop caring. he had been held captive for his entire life, there was no point in asking for more.

renjun and his parents lived in one of the biggest homes you could find, filled with granite floors, more than two floors, elevators, a east and west wing, and a multiple car garage. renjun admired the garage, since it was well fed with his father’s collection of estranged vehicles. he also idolized the feeling of the temperature of the garage- in which it reflected the outside. in the summer, the garage was hot and in the winter, it was freezing. renjun was never allowed in the garage on his own, too risky that he could press the button and let the outside in. renjun had never received an explanation as to why he was stuck in this god forsaken place. he didn’t care anymore.

in his entire life, renjun had only made one friend, well besides the workers in his house that were constantly bugging him, but he wouldn’t consider them actual friends. but the one friend he had made, behind his parents back- was donghyuck- a kid from renjun’s online school. he hadn’t meant to disobey his parents strict rules about making friends through the internet, but renjun had been so drawn into donghyuck’s life, that he wanted to text him every second of the day.

and he was sure he only felt this way since he had absolutely no idea what having friends was like- but if it was like his relationship with donghyuck- then he loved having friends.

donghyuck was working thoroughly with online school since he spent majority of his time traveling the world for fun, taking time to send renjun all of his pictures like he was his travel diary. and renjun had no complaints, it almost made him feel as if he was traveling with his best friend.

there was little verbiage between the two when summer rolled around, donghyuck was busy and renjun knew that, so he wasn’t quick to get on the younger for being so quiet. but donghyuck’s once a day texts began to slip into once a week texts, mainly with a smiley face and a few pictures with him curling his finger into an “r”. renjun adored that, so he sent donghyuck back a picture of him holding both of his hands into the letter “d, and it soon became their own little symbolization of the cutest friendship.

another thing renjun had found himself doing a lot was sleeping, whether it was 2 in the morning, or 2 in the afternoon, renjun loved to sleep. he had even gotten into an excessive amount of trouble the weekend he was sick, since he took nyquil and had fallen asleep in one of the guest bedrooms in the west wing- opposite of his own. it took his security over fifteen minutes to find him, and renjun was sucked into a night overrun with a million threats and scolding words, that quite frankly hurt renjun’s heart. his mother had fallen soft at her own son’s tears, but still was harsh on the poor child. he was only sick.

he had promised to never get sick again.

throughout the summer, renjun had descended into a new world consisting of things he liked to call : delights.

it happened first on a friday, when renjun just could not get to sleep. and tough luck for the kid, it was his ultimate favorite thing to do, but he could not find himself to give in to what his body needed. and after running a good 24 hours on no sleep, renjun had finally decided to take one of his first pills, one that was so easily accessible in the cabinet sitting next to the stove: sleeping pills.

it wasn’t meant to give him any sort of high- and even if it had: renjun didn’t want it. he just wanted to go to sleep, be it a few hours, or a few days. the first dose was addicting, so much that renjun took it the second night too, and solid for a week straight as he had gotten the best sleep he could ask for. of course, his parents took no notice. the pills were almost expired and his mother hadn’t been using them, so he had taken advantage.

he knew it was wrong, and he wanted to let someone know- but even his brain was tired, he just wanted to sleep more.

and at some point he forced himself to ween off of the pills, as the count was beginning to drop rapidly and plus, he didn’t want to have full blown withdrawals from the lack of his new haze. and of course, he wasn’t able to sleep at all for the next few days. renjun had done everything to keep him busy, but his favorite was cleaning. his parents had no suspicion to their son who was up at nearly all hours of the night, raiding the pantry and devouring the countless boxes of cereal that lay there. sometimes renjun blamed himself for having the “munchies”, but then again, it was probably his lack of sleep.

his cleaning habits were so particular, that he began to hate when things were on his floor, and would work swiftly to maneuver everything into its right position.

renjun worked delicately with his closet, organizing his clothes by color, and reorganizing his bookshelf to alphabetical order. and once his room was completely finished, he snuck his way to work on other rooms. which, much to his dismay, no one ever occupied the rooms– so they were already spotless and organized.

his body would continue to give in at the most arbitrary times, mostly sometime in the afternoon, so he’d find himself groggily waking up at 10 in the evening, and he would try to go back to sleep, but nothing gave. so he’d find his way to the west wing, where the game room(s) were, mostly used by his own set of staff to protect him. of course, he had people keeping an eye on him 24/7, but he was lucky to have a not-so-demanding bodyguard who took on the night shift, who belonged to the name kun.

and it was now when kun slipped from his room, hand behind his back at he stared at the sleepy renjun, who dragged his hand along the baseboards in the hallway.

“what’re you doing up?” his voice was guttural, but renjun knew he was to be scolded.

kun was always kind hearted, but he kept renjun in check.

“i don’t know. i can not sleep lately, so i figured that i should clean, mother would like it.” renjun stood up, so he was faced, shoulders straight, kun’s eyes bringing renjun’s heart rate up.

he hesitated, looking down the hall, flipping his eyes back and forth between renjun and both sides of the barely lit hallway.

“fine, but don’t think that i can’t see you on the cameras.” kun brought a small smile upon his lips, and renjun mimicked it in a tender way.

and with that, kun turned on his heels back into the room that belonged to him. from that day, kun and renjun had developed a closer friendship, since both of them were to be up at night, renjun would sneak to his room with snacks and stories, well not from renjun, from kun.

it was on a wednesday night, mid june when kun had become very blunt and monotonous with renjun. they sat across from each other, watching a movie on the tv that laid on kun’s dresser.

renjun wasn’t allowed to watch movies: only read books.

so he couldn’t help himself as he watched a group of kids crossing a river, running from each other, smiling and laughing, their feet getting wet from the constant slipping and the water they threw on each other, and he asked:

“i wish i could do that. it looks fun.”

and he hadn’t meant it to mean much, but he saw kun stiff up and the elder kept his eyes glued to the screen, the corners of his mouth barely raising with a puff of air from his mouth.

“do you know why i am being held captive in here?” renjun knew it was wrong, damn wrong to ask him. his parents had warned him never to ask the staff about his situation, as they would be fired, but he could not stop himself from asking.

of course, kun ignored him. ignored his tugs on his sleeve, ignored every action from the younger, but renjun was heated and he hadn’t slept in two days, so he was pretty fucking irritated.

“answer me!” he shouted, actually shouted.

“i cant!” renjun’s heart sank at the sound of his booming voice, renjun had known kun for years, not in a close way, but now he was getting yelled at by the elder as he was sneaking around and developing a friendship with his guard, and suddenly everything felt wrong.

renjun had stepped back in fear when kun stood up, towering over the smaller boy. he blinked in a pattern, one two, one two, realizing that his actions were very inappropriate.

“i am sorry.” he fell small, sinking against the wall, holding his legs against his chest, stuffing his face deep into his legs.

he was expecting something, maybe a slap, maybe a kick, just something. he had done wrong and he needed to be punished– but all he heard was kun sinking next to him, along the bright colored paint on the wall.

his large hand was placed on renjun’s knee, but renjun was too fearful to look up at the boy next to him.

“you know the answer to that.” soft. it was soft this time.

renjun was relieved. he looked up.

“i know. i am sorry i asked.”

but kun only shook his head, his flashy smile across his face.

“you’re just a kid, kiddo. i’m sure you’ll understand when you’re older.” his hand pulled renjun closer and renjun placed his head on his friend- guard’s shoulder.

“i am eighteen though.”

they both shook it off, as it could cause very dirty problems to arise with his parents and his own job. and soon, renjun had taken off back to his room, dragging his feet the entire way. and it was then when he had realized that kun probably didn’t even think of him as a friend. for god’s sake, he was getting paid to watch the younger. renjun hated that idea.

he stopped in front of his door, checking the time. his mind was screaming stop, but renjun trailed back to the kitchen, finding his way to the familiar cabinet. the pills had absolutely no touch from renjun within the past two weeks and for once in his life, renjun was proud of himself. but here he was, handling twice the normal dosage, slipping them down his throat. he sighed as he leaned against the counter, slapping his hand hard against the marble countertops. he lifted his hand instantly in pain, holding it hard against his chest. renjun just could not take this, and he wanted to just fucking sleep, despite the negative feelings and words he wanted to scream at himself.

he woke up the next day from a knock on his door, and renjun had fallen into full panic mode. no one bothers him, not even his parents. not even kun. sometimes he wouldn’t see anyone for weeks, his parents were always gone. but there at his door, stood his mother, dressed in complete business attire.

“good afternoon, darling. we’d like it if you could join us for lunch, would you mind?”

and renjun tilted his head back into his room to look at the clock.

2:51pm

but he just nodded silently, promising that he’d be down in a few minutes. and renjun was pretty sure that he had just taken the quickest shower in his life- he was never to be rushed. he felt a little adrenaline in his veins, maybe they were going to allow him out for the first time. so, he found his best shirt, and a pair of skinny black jeans, slipping them on before combing his hair back, shooting himself the biggest smile in the mirror.

“it must be time.” he pulled his fist to his chest with the softest, “yes!”

and when he had found his way to the dining room, the windows were opened, it was warm, almost too warm, but renjun was very lucky to have them open. he gave his parents both a small kiss on the side of their heads, before taking his seat on the opposite side of the table.

most of their random meals together were full of jokes and positive charisma, but today felt different. renjun knew why, so his smile was plastered obviously across his face. his parents were a bit quieter than usual, and renjun knew they were trying to figure out the right time to approach their son about the great news.

“son-”

here it comes.

“we wanted to tell you that we will both be going out of town for 6 weeks.”

renjun felt that like a shot in his heart. his entire body ran cold and he couldn’t feel his knees, as his fingernails were digging too hard into them.

“we didn’t want to leave without you knowing about our whereabouts.” his father spoke smoothly and renjun almost wanted to spit at him– but he knew he wasn’t raised to react the way he wanted to.

“it is not like you are ever here anyways.”

a mistake. renjun knew it, damn well, but he couldn’t help it. and he had done too much of that recently, he was bound to get hit soon. his father slammed both hands on the table, standing up, triggering a gasp from his mother.

“what did you just say to me?” his voice wasn’t laced with anger, but it was loud, and renjun wasn’t sure what exactly it was. so he sank into his chair, shaking his head and laughing off a little “nothing”.

his father found his seat again, trying to finish his glass of water.

“renjun, honey. would you mind grabbing me a pain pill, my head is killing me. your father’s shouting didn’t help.” she shoved him playfully and renjun was nearly disgusted at the touch. but he obeyed his mother, and ignored his father’s eyes as he walked through the door into the kitchen.

and when his hands reached to open the medicine cabinet, renjun felt another one of those cold rushes over his body. there in the medicine cabinet stood a bright orange sticky note, with messy handwriting that read “stop taking them.”

his breath was caught in his throat and renjun had to cough to bring himself back to reality, but his heart was practically out of his chest at this point. surely, it wasn’t his parents. they have their own kitchen in their wing, the main kitchen was meant for a place for big meals to be cooked.

“renjun?” his mother’s voice lifted renjun out of his thoughts and he turned around quickly, searching for eyes on him. his gaze met the cameras in the corner and he sighed. kun.

he slipped the note into his back pocket.

“should be in my purse, love.” his mother’s voice again, and renjun suddely remembered that the medicine cabinet was full of expired drugs, so it was unlikely that his parents would rummage through it.

he turned his body to find the luggage that sat by the back door, which was creaked open by the smallest bit. renjun hadn’t seen the outdoors in a while, but the door was literally open and he thought about running. taking off, figuring something out in the meantime. and before he could make a decision, he let himself give in to the tears that wanted to fall from his eyes. it wasn’t like he was upset that his parents were leaving, he barely saw them anyways, and besides, they were so demanding and have kept him inside for eighteen years, if anything he should hate them. but he didn’t, and he didn’t want them to leave.

“renjun!” his mother stepped into the kitchen, placing a hand on her chest, walking to pull the door shut.

renjun wiped his tears in a hurry, turning to face his mother.

“don’t worry, i am not going to run away.” he picked up his mothers hand, placing the pill into her hand, skidding past his mother and sitting back down at the table.

and there he was filled with a ton of direction from his father, rules, regulations, consequences, threats, all of it. but if he was being honest, he didn’t listen to any of it. the only part that tickled his ear was when his father mentioned kun, who was the overall man in charge. and renjun didn’t care, he just wanted to see kun. he bit his lip in fury, knowing that his body guard had been watching him through the cameras–which could renjun really blame him? it was his job. that’s right, it was his job to befriend renjun.

he hugged his parents goodbye, sending them off with a small “be safe”. he hadn’t expected to hear this set of news, let alone have them leave within the hour. and as soon as they had left in the car, renjun sprinted down the hallway to kun’s room.

he knocked aggressively and kun answered the door, his hair ruffled and his eyes tired. renjun almost felt sorry for bothering him, but he stepped into his room, shaking his own hand in his hair. fear rising in his throat.

“you know about the pills?” he avoided the eye contact, but snapped his eyes to kun’s at his response.

“excuse me?” his voice was so low, and he was so unaware of the situation he had caused.

“do not play dumb here, kun. you have to promise you will not tell my parents.”

“what in the hell are you talking about? what’s going on?”

renjun just took the note from his pocket and pushed it against the older boy’s chest, causing him to stumble back. renjun was so heated, and scared, quite frankly. he wasn’t one to get into trouble, and this? his parent’s would be so disappointed.

kun’s head shook as he stared at it. his eyebrows were furrowred in pure confusion as he looked down at renjun.

“renjun, i don’t know what this is. i didn’t write this, if that’s what you’re thinking.” kun’s hand met renjun’s cheek and it was then when he realized he was crying. like a fool.

renjun took the note back, sniffling and giving a quick apology to kun, before running back to his room.

collapsing onto his pillows, renjun cried out for a bit longer, his body filled with regret and sorrow.

he had been caught, but who the fuck by?

renjun hadn’t realize that he cried himself to sleep, one of the only times that he was able to actually sleep without the pills.

when he woke, it was night. the usual routine. he found his way to the kitchen, to grab himself his box of cereal, and tiptoed back to his room, sprawling out on his floor, dropping the lucky charms into his mouth from above.

renjun spent the next few hours thinking of who could be his little secret admirer, he though maybe it could be one of the maids, but why wouldn’t anyone say anything? he moved on to ball his hands into fists and he laid on his side. his eyes scanned his bookshelf, sighing in his thoughts.

he realized that there was one of his favorite books missing, the great gatsby. but renjun couldn’t be bothered by the missing book– it was probably him who misplaced it. but then again, he had recently been so particular that even renjun knew he couldn’t possibly not put it back.

his hands busied with more cleaning, this time towards the very back of the east wing, but on the first floor. he was sweeping in the living room when he heard a slam, his eyes darting around the room to find the source, but he was left with disappointment. but regardless, the boy held the broom against his chest and he walked back into the main hall, eyeing the basement door across him.

fuck no.

no fucking way was he about to go into the basement to check for the noise, so he stood in place, frozen in space as his mind was telling him to – flight, not fucking fight. but among seeing the handle rattle, renjun gasped loudly, covering his own mouth at the sound and the sight of the the handle moving. he pushed the door with the tip of the broom, his breath so fast, as if he had ran a mile just now.

and the rattling stopped, and was replaced with the door creaking open. renjun was paralyzed at the sight of a young boy who didn’t realize that renjun was standing there.

“holy-”

among hearing renjun, the boy shifted his weight and he looked as if renjun had just caught him murdering someone.

renjun was only a few feet away from the boy, who used one hand to pull renjun into the room, slapping a hand over his mouth to avoid any other words coming from renjun’s mouth.

“please, don’t say anything. please don’t scream. i’m begging you.” the boys voice was so smooth, it sounded like honey in renjun’s ears, but he was losing oxygen from holding his own breath in, so he slapped the boy’s arm gently a few times, literally asking for mercy.

and the boy reluctantly let go, and renjun had noticed that the lingering scent of wood- or something similar was radiating from the boy standing in his house.

“okay, i promise.”

and renjun had no reason to scream at this moment, other than the fact that this boy just came out of his basement and he was either a demon or a murderer.

“so which one are you?” renjun hadn’t realized that he had proceeded to ask that question, after debating in his head.

“huh?” the boy was still a foot from renjun, and it was then when he realized their actual proximity.

“well, i was thinking that you must be a demon or a murderer, but i guess i will die both ways, so we might as well get this over with.”

and renjun didn’t expect the next action, especially from his demon murderer, but he giggled. he fucking giggled. and renjun was purely confused at the sight in front of him.

“renjun, you’re-”

renjun’s eyes fell to the boy’s tshirt, realizing that it was his own. he blinked a few times, shaking his head in fear.

“-is that my fucking shirt?” it was his first time ever muttering a swear word, and he felt wrong.

the boy looked down and his smile fell instantly, swallowing hard. renjun moved his hand so it was on the handle. but the boy tried to reach out to touch the door.

“renjun, please! let me explain.”

but renjun wouldn’t hear another word, he took off back to his room, moving his bookshelf in front of his door- at any chance that the boy would come up to do something. how did he know his name? and renjun had thought about going to kun’s room, but he was too caught up in his fears, he couldn’t even sleep. but that was the usual, so renjun tapped his feet on the floor for what felt like hours.

why the hell was there a boy, a young boy, in his basement? renjun wanted answers, but he kept stopping himself from proceeding out the door back to the first floor. maybe he wanted to punch the kid or maybe he wanted to confront him, renjun wasn’t too sure.

kun had to drag renjun out of his room the next day, telling him that it was important to eat something. renjun, of course, had promised that his lucky charms were enough to get him by and that he was just tired. and kun had given in, telling him to at least come downstairs once everyone as asleep- he had grown to know that renjun had some sort of crush on night time, it was a time where he felt most alive- but no one really knew renjun and his deeper feelings.

and he had done exactly that, trickled downstairs around 2 in the morning to make himself a sandwich. it had been approximately three days since renjun had seen the demon murderer in the deeps of the east wing. he wanted to forget about it, but his mind told him the opposite.

he set his sandwich on the breakfast table, before finding his way back to the medicine cabinet. he opened it and held the pill bottle firmly in his hand. he even squeezed it a bit, his way of telling himself not to.

and he was in-capped with a new feeling in his chest when he heard the voice again.

“renjun.”

renjun nearly dropped the bottle when he whipped around so fast. his chest raised in fear, his breath becoming louder and louder.

“who are you? and how do you know me?” he presented quickly, searching for the nearest knife in the kitchen.

“wow, you really don’t remember me.” the boy muttered, a strange look across his face, renjun wasn’t smart enough to tell what it meant.

he snatched the butter knife he had used a minute ago before pointing it at the boy. and in response, the boy almost looked offended, before his eyes softened a little.

“you really shouldn’t take those.” he pointed to the pill bottle and renjun followed finger the the bottle he was squeezing to his chest.

and sudden realization came across renjun’s face.

“it was you.” he spoke softly, lowering the knife in guilt.

the boy smiled, his eyes turning up with his own smile. but renjun tilted his head and squinted his eyes. the boy moved to sit at the breakfast table, only a seat away from where renjun had his plate sitting.

“who are you?” renjun didn’t want to ask, and he had regretted it as soon as the boy’s bright smile slipped off his face. he looked down a bit, fiddling with his sweatshirt strings.

“i’m jeno?” he formed a question, probably in hopes that renjun would recognize the name, but renjun just shook his head, separating into two different conversations.

“renjun.” but renjun waved a hand at him, remembering that he already knew that. and jeno brought a small smile again.

“eat your sandwich” jeno motioned next to his chair, but renjun didn’t dare move from his spot.

“and bro, let go of the fucking knife. you’re scaring me.” jeno added, before literally taking a bite of renjun’s sandwich.

renjun switched back into gear and pulled the sandwich from jeno’s mouth, jeno guffawed.

renjun was awestruck at the boy in front of him, acting like they were closer than ever. but renjun ignored him and continued to bite into his sandwich, looking away from the boy sitting in the chair beside him. maybe if he avoided eye contact things would run smoother.

but renjun cut the silence with a bit of anger.

“and who are you to tell me to stop taking pills. that is none of your business, stop spying on me in the middle of the night and stop taking my clothes!”

but jeno just raised an eyebrow and renjun fell weak at the sight of him. it was like he wasn’t offended by renjun’s words, then again, renjun was never really any good at making people feel uncomfortable.

jeno mumbled something about being cute, but covered it up with stealing more of his food.

“just make your own! geez” renjun slid his plate over to jeno

“you know what, just take mine” he added, rolling his eyes and swallowing the food in his mouth.

jeno beamed at him, and ate it gloriously. renjun was almost sure he was feeding a homeless kid who was sleeping in his basement. jeno’s blonde locks fell into his face, and renjun wanted to push it back for him– because he knew how goddamn annoying that was. but he kept his hands back.

his left hand laid atop of the table, tapping a melody on the stained wood, and renjun couldn’t help but stare at him.

maybe he was a vampire, a ghost maybe? but he’s here, fucking eating food, so what in the hell was he?

in no time, renjun willingly reached out to place his hand on jeno’s, expecting some sort of freezing feeling– to prove his theory of jeno being a vampire, but he was let down with an abnormal amount of heat. jeno instantly pulled away, leaving a hint of red on renjun’s cheeks from the strange motion.

“do you want to hold my hand, renjun?” jeno smirked, standing up to throw the paper plate into the trash.

renjun was quick to respond with a solid “no!”, followed by more silence.

“i’m human. if that’s what you’re wondering.” jeno sat back down next to renjun, crossing his legs in a comfortable manner.

“i am wondering a lot actually, right now.”

jeno shrugged at him

“ask away.”

renjun had shot out too many questions at once, causing jeno to widen his eyes at the differences in each one of his questions. he made him stop, and told him to go slower.

“who are you?” renjun leaned forward.

“i’m jeno, i already told you that.”

“well, i know you are jeno, but like.. why are you in my house?”

jeno had no time to think of an answer, before renjun cut him off again.

“and how long have you been spying on me? and are you coming into my room at night? because that is fucking wrong.”

jeno laughed this time, a bit too much for renjun’s liking, almost to the point where he would begin to worry that the boy was hiding something in his laughter.

“yeah, sorry.”

renjun flew his hands up in the air, huffing heavily and sinking back into his chair.

“you are not answering my questions!”

“i am though!”

renjun rolled his eyes.

“wait, i have a question for you.”

with annoyance, renjun place his hands out, as if he was ready to accept whatever jeno was to throw at him.

“why do you talk so formal?”

“i do not know what you are talking about, but frankly, i do not care.”

jeno mocked him in an instant, blurting out the same sentence he had just said, but this time in a posh accent.

renjun let a smile break across his face this time, a sudden realization that renjun was rarely able to connect his words to one, making him sound a bit more formal than he would have liked. he shyly covered his hand over his mouth, holding back the laughter in his throat. jeno was right– he did sound formal.

“renjun.” jeno’s voice pulled renjun from his negative thoughts after a few moments of silence.

“hmm?”

“you really shouldn’t take those pills. they’re not good for you.” his tone was serious, but renjun couldn’t help but laugh.

“do you not think i do not know that, already?”

jeno’s face fell into guilt and renjun wanted to apologize, but he couldn’t. he never got the opportunity, because as soon as the overhead light turned on, both boys froze.

and under the archway in the entrance of the kitchen stood : kun, a look of pure fear on his eyes. renjun instantly thought that he was going to have to explain that the demon murdered ( add on : asshole ) was eating in their kitchen. but before he could say anything kun opened his own mouth.

“jeno?”

“kun.”

renjun blinked a few times, utter shock on his own face.

“what are you-”

“how are you-”

both kun and jeno started their sentences at the same time and the look on kun’s face was one where he held terror along with sorrow.

and as renjun looked at jeno’s face, he saw the exact same. kun bit his lip and slowly shook his head, as if he was telling jeno ‘no’.

“renjun, you need to rest. you should go upstairs to bed.” kun spoke softly at renjun, but renjun shook his head.

“no, i want to know what is going on.” renjun stood up, but jeno turned away from kun, resting his elbows on the table, sighing.

“jeno, what is-”

“-renjun! go upstairs, now!” kun raised his voice again, and renjun had realized that there was indeed something going on and he was too weak to speak up. so, he took one last glance at jeno, who’s hands were in his hair.

renjun thought about sticking around, to overhear what was being said, but he knew he wouldn’t understand anyways, so he trailed up the stairs. the sound of a soft cry was heard when he reached his bedroom door. he heart sank a bit, he knew it was from jeno. maybe kun was harsh on him, but whatever friendship they had- the situation looked too hard for renjun to handle.

the next thing he heard was a sharp, “jeno!” before he felt arms snake around his waist from behind. renjun wanted to squeal, but the feeling that spread through his body was so addicting, he couldn’t even let a gasp come from his mouth. jeno’s head was placed in the crevasse of renjun’s neck, and he felt a tear drip onto his exposed skin on his neck, but he was frozen in his spot. his knees felt weak at the interaction, and since renjun was too stuck to turn around, jeno place both hands on renjun’s waist and spun him around, before pressing his body against him, this time in for a stronger held hug.

renjun broke through when he heard kun come up the stairs, jeno’s grip suddenly holding on tighter to renjun’s waist. renjun couldn’t move his hands though, so they laid weak at his sides. and when he heard a sniffle from jeno, he moved his hands to place them on jeno’s chest, moving him away so he could see his face.

“jeno, why are you crying? what don’t i know?”

renjun pleaded him for an answer, and he hadn’t realized that he was now holding on to jeno, the same way jeno was to him. but jeno just smiled and shook his head.

“you used a conjunction.” jeno took a hand from renjun’s waist and wiped his tear.

“i just had to hug you, cause i might never see you again.” he added.

renjun’s heart sank at jeno’s voice, was kun literally going to kill him? maybe kun was the murderer? renjun had no choice but to listen to his thoughts completely head on.

“jeno, come on!” kun looked around the hallways, before landing his eyes back on the sight of the two youngers hugging.

“kun! what are you going to do to him?” they had pulled apart, but renjun was demanding of an answer, his hand now intertwined in jeno’s.

he wasn’t sure where exactly his sudden confidence had come from, but jeno seemed to be in danger, and renjun was uncomfortable, so he needed to do something.

“i am trying to keep both of you safe. now let’s go!”

and jeno’s hand slipped from renjun’s, just like a bar of soap slipping from a wet grip. renjun didn’t want to admit that he felt constant pangs in his heart as he watched the boy be pulled away from a slightly irritated kun.

renjun couldn’t sleep that night, he felt something new rising up in his chest, almost like a jealous feeling, but more focused on a heart- break feeling. but renjun had no idea what real heartbreak felt like. he never was kicked aside in a friend group, never broke up a relationship. all he could feel was the relationships he shared with kun and his parents- and they were always available to him.

sure, he felt a little upset when donghyuck began to fail to respond, but this feeling was something foreign to the young boy, and he just wanted it to stop.

he wanted a damn answer. and he hadn’t gotten one for the next three days. in fact, he heard nothing from kun, or any of the other security around the house. they all left him alone, and that wasn’t usual- renjun just knew something was up.

he thought about calling his parents and confessing that there was a boy living in their house- but kun knew exactly who jeno was and he had literally said “i am trying to keep both of you safe” and that stuck to renjun’s side. so he found himself tapping gently on kun’s door.

it was one in the afternoon, a time where renjun was usually asleep, and kun was usually roaming around the house doing something. if renjun was lucky, he got to see kun open the door- where the younger was exposed to the heat the spread through the house. but kun was so secretive about the outdoors, just like his parents.

the door opened, and in front of renjun stood a new man, tall and a bit heavy, his eyes low on the boy. renjun stepped back in fear, until his back hit the wall.

“something i can help you with, mr renjun?” his voice was a lot higher than renjun would’ve imagined, but he stared up at the man, shaking his head softly.

“i am sorry for bothering you.” renjun bowed his head politely and took off back down the hall, checking in the other rooms for kun.

he ended up in every single room, but there was no sight.

maybe he was off.

kun never takes off. he lives here.

and renjun hit his head in frustration, leaning against the wall to take deep breaths. the sound of his heartbeat was like fire in his ears, and renjun wanted it to stop. and when he found himself back in the kitchen, he noticed immediately that the pills were gone. there was blood in his mouth from biting his lip too hard, but he didn’t care. his hands were balled into fists and he wanted to punch everything. this time there was a red sticky note, with the same sloppy handwriting that read, “i told you to stop. ;) -j” and even though renjun felt was furious, he felt a bit flattered.

renjun knew it wasn’t safe to go towards the basement in the middle of the day, but he somehow retreated to the place where he had first saw jeno.

two knocks.

then three.

then ten.

but there was nothing from the opposite side of the door, so renjun slid his back against it and curled himself up again, hoping maybe jeno would come to his senses and open the door- feeding renjun some realistic answers. or maybe some sly comment- anything would do. and he hadn’t realized that he spent hours sitting there until he heard his stomach growling. so renjun strolled back to his room with his lucky charms, sitting criss crossed on his bed, his basketball shorts riding up his thigh from his awkward positioning.

he called donghyuck that night, on facetime. and the younger was eager to hear from his friend- and spent a lot of time apologizing to his friend for being so busy, but renjun shoved it aside, he was just glad he was available to talk. and he did. he spent a while explaining the situation, stopping every now and then to make sure donghyuck understood with a little, “you know?” and donghyuck would hum from the phone, his head nearly covered in a blanket.

and when he was finished, renjun silently cried to his friend asking for some kind of help.

“well, was jeno cute?” donghyuck muttered, his mouth poking up from the blanket.

renjun cackled and then fell into a pout.

“hyuck! that’s not important. where could he possibly be?” renjun’s voice cracked and he took a second to regain his breath.

“you didn’t deny it, though!” donghyuck giggled and then returned to his serious tone, trying to reassure renjun that there was probably a reasoning for all the confusion.

but renjun was so fucking tired of hearing that, lately.

so he politely finished his phone call with his friend, leaving his phone sitting on his bed as he found his way to the room that brought in the most light. the windows were replaced with some sort of material, that let light shine through, but there was no visibility through it. renjun stood there in the dining room, staring at the chairs and then the glass. he could break it. maybe dart out the front door. or that back door by the kitchen that has too many locks on it.

but he was satisfied with his decision of trying to break the glass in the dining room. his hands were shaking violently as he took the lamp and threw it aggressively at the glass, which barely brought a crack. his head snapped around to make sure that no one was watching him. and he tried again, watchin the crack grow bigger. he couldn’t avoid the sounds crying from his mouth, as his anger spilled out in different ways. and right then, piece after piece, the glass fell and renjun was approached with a sight that he had never seen before. it wasn’t bright, it was somewhere around 8pm, and the sun had just set, so there was still some visible light. all around him rang a sound that he remembers hearing once before- but he wasn’t sure where exactly.

there was a forest at the end of the patch of grass. renjun assumed this was the back of the house, but he couldn’t bring himself to step up over the ledge and make a run for it, despite the sound that was ringing through his ears.

he started slowly, but began to step into the grass. it felt knew to him, the grass was wet. maybe it had just rained. when he heard calls from behind him, renjun took off. his legs carried him across the soft grass, before he felt a body fall over his, and everything had turned black.

-

when renjun woke, he was in his bed, his hands strapped next to him, keeping him from moving.

“why am i in fucking restraints?” he hissed, his head pounding yet again.

when his eyes stopped spinning, he settled on a figure in the corner. renjun’s saliva was caught in his throat and he choked for a second, his breath speeding up.

“kun!” he exclaimed, watching as kun excused the guard that he had previously seen in kun’s room.

“renjun..” kun sat on the edge of his bed, placing a hand on renjun’s knee.

“i am so glad that you are okay.” renjun leaned his head back, practically begging to be let out of the restraints. and kun was quick to get them off, mumbling something about someone else putting them on.

kun just proceeded to nod at renjun, looking at him with so much sadness. renjun hated it.

“where’s jen-”

kun slapped a hand over renjun’s mouth, and the younger gasped.

his face was inches from renjun’s as he spoke,

“you can’t say his name. never mention him again, unless you are sure that you are alone. do you understand?”

but renjun, being renjun, threw his head back and kicked his feet once, like a child.

“but, i do not understand what is going on! why can i not mention-”

he shut his lips tightly.

“-never mind.” he settled back into his spot, finally holding his hands to his chest, thankful for the lack of restraints.

“go at 3:19 in the morning. i’ll tell him that you’re coming.” kun pulled himself back, standing up.

“can we please get this boy some food, the poor thing is hungry!” kun stuck his head out the door, turning back to wink at renjun.

“but kun-”

“3:19.”

and renjun had obeyed. he would’ve gone back to try for the boy, even if he hadn’t been told to. but renjun was let down again when there was no response.

“jeno! please…” renjun sighed as he whispered, moving to turn away from the door, but when he heard the creaking, he turned around with bright eyes. the door was about an inch open, and renjun took one good look around before opening the door and shutting it behind him.

he stood in the pitch black, his hands still on the handle behind him. and the lights flicked on, revealing a regular looking basement- with dust and boxes and strange pieces of furniture.

“renjun, thank god.” jeno appeared at the bottom of the stairs, and renjun almost fell down them at the pace he ran towards jeno, slapping his arms around his neck.

and since renjun was propped on the steps, he stood taller than jeno- it was usually the other way around. not that renjun took a huge notice at the two times he had been around the boy.

jeno coughed a few times at the tightness that renjun held onto him, but he hugged him back with the same grip.

if you asked renjun why he was hugging jeno, who could still be a big threat- he wouldn’t know. renjun wasn’t sure of a lot of things in his life, but he had only hugged his parents a few times throughout his entire life, kun maybe once or twice, but those were quick, and renjun hadn’t stopped thinking about jeno’s desperate hug from the other night. so when he finally laid eyes on jeno, renjun took the opportunity.

jeno giggled in renjun’s shirt, and renjun finally pulled away, shoving the boy in front of him.

“i thought you had died!” renjun brought his face into pure anger, his feet tapping on the wooden steps.

“still here, junnie.” jeno brought one side of his mouth up, and renjun felt that familiar pang in his chest at the sound of the nickname coming from jeno’s mouth.

“so this is where you have been all this time? in all this nasty dust?” renjun slid his hand over the dust, wiping it off on his jeans.

jeno rolled his eyes and nodded his head for renjun to follow him, and he did.

the bookshelf was shoved to the side, revealing another door.. with too many locks to count.

inside the door, stood an entire room, huge at that. renjun was beyond shocked, his facial features couldn’t be described, there was so much in this room. renjun spotted some of his own things sitting on the tables in jeno’s room. he even had a fully equipped kitchen, a ton of snacks and drinks all over the place. he even spotted his copy of the great gatsby.

“i tried to clean, but kun had just recently told me you were coming.” jeno shrugged.

but renjun couldn’t move. he felt hot and sticky and just down right uncomfortable.

“how long have you been living in my house?” renjun stared at the pile of sticky notes on his kitchen table, where the pill bottle stood. and renjun was quick to snatch it into his hands.

“this belongs to me, now answer my question, jeno. please.” renjun started off harsh, but settled into a softer tone. jeno sat down on his bed, laying until his back was against the mattress.

“my entire life. ever since you came.” the last part was quiet, almost too quiet for renjun to hear.

“since i came?”

but jeno moved on to show renjun some of the games and electronics he had in his room. the boy had a fucking hover board, and renjun would be lying if he said he didn’t want to try it. so he spent the next hour on his ass from the failed attempts of riding it.

“do you want help?” jeno threw a football up into the air, laughing at the boy trying to ride the hover board.

“no! i can do it. just give me a second.”

“renjun, it’s been an hour. let the professional show you.”

and jeno was right. he stepped on so smoothly and effortlessly, renjun pulled his bottom lip into his mouth and huffed.

he had forgotten about the stress of the current situation– but who could blame him– it was the first time he was ever having fun with someone, and he loved the adrenaline slipping through his veins, in such a heavenly way.

they played chess, and renjun learned that he was really good at it. jeno had even shown renjun how to juggle a soccer ball, play a round of black ops : zombies, and renjun was so surprised at the possibilities of fun. and he couldn’t get the thought about jeno living down here this entire time out of his head, he really wanted that answer.

but he laid his head on jeno’s shoulder, as they played another round of zombies and as soon as jeno needed help, renjun’s screen was frozen. and it was then when jeno realized that the boy had fallen asleep. jeno didn’t mind the fact that he had to fight the zombies on his own, cause renjun was asleep on his shoulder and jeno wanted nothing more than the boy’s safety, and knowing his sleeping habits weren’t very good- jeno let him sleep.

jeno had fallen asleep too, but was woken up from kun’s shaking, telling him that he couldn’t keep the cameras down for that much longer. and renjun was half awake, but laid still and stirred a little, quieting the both of them. renjun could hear the entire conversation, hoping for some sort of explanation.

“let me carry him back to his room.” kun’s voice.

“can.. can i?”

and there was a moment of silence, renjun almost blushed.

“thanks, kun.” renjun only assumed that he had nodded, and he felt his entire body be lifted off the couch.

he felt self conscious of his own weight, wondering if jeno would even be able to carry his body up the stairs. but much to his surprise, jeno’s warmth was taken away from renjun and was replaced with two hands slipping under his legs, pushing him into a sitting position.

“renjun.” jeno budged his elbow into the boy, who was sitting above him, as he was crouched at the bottom of the couch.

“hmm?” renjun hummed out, not bothering to open his eyes.

“put your arms around my neck.” jeno spoke smoothly, now renjun really wanted to blush, but he opened an eye and leaned forward, tightening his grip on jeno. and it was then when he was lifted up into the air, and renjun finally came to realized that jeno had placed him on his back. so renjun cuddled his head gently into the crook of jeno’s neck.

and when he felt himself fall against his mattress, renjun turned onto his side, feeling his blankets come over his freezing body. and renjun caught jeno’s hand as he tried to walk away, and the boy turned quickly.

“please do not leave.” renjun’s eyes were shut, but he wanted more than anything to open them to look at jeno, but he was so goddamn tired, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. he heard a short puff of air leave jeno’s mouth and something about the fact that he’s even formal when he’s half asleep.

“i can’t stay, renjun.” jeno finally placed his other hand above renjun’s.

renjun let the hand go, and he flipped to the opposite side, so he was facing the wall.

“no one ever stays, anyway.”

and jeno had felt his heart crack into a hundred pieces, he wanted to crawl into bed with renjun and never leave- but he knew he could never do such a thing. instead, he turned on his heels and shut renjun’s door softly, teeth hard on his lip as he found his way back to the basement.

renjun tried to go back to see jeno the next day, but the basement door was locked and kun had been missing again. so renjun spent the entire day sulking in his bedroom, finding himself sketching a picture of what jeno’s room looked like. and then he found himself sketching jeno, and every small feature on his face.

jeno had stolen the pills from renjun again, and it angered renjun a little bit. jeno was kind and all, but he had no right to keep renjun from them. but he let it slide, since he wanted to do other things- like draw. and read more. it was somewhere around 3 in the morning when he felt his door creak open, and he stayed frozen in his bed. renjun hadn’t actually fallen asleep, but he was paralyzed in his bed, unaware of who had entered his room.

the person sat down on the side of renjun’s bed, and renjun knew exactly who it was when the hand came across his forehead, pushing back his hair. jeno’s skin was so soft to renjun.

renjun opened his eyes slowly then all at once. and jeno held his gaze for a second, watching at renjun turned to look at the clock.

3:19 am.

“it is 3:19, again.” renjun whispered and jeno just nodded.

“it’s the only time we can see each other.”

but renjun sighed, knowing that jeno wasn’t going to give him more information he needed to hear.

“do you want to lay down with me? or next to me, i should say.” renjun covered his cheeks with a blanket and jeno smiled brightly, nodding eagerly. so renjun slid to his side, giving jeno room underneath the blankets. and jeno had assumed that renjun would make him lay on top of the covers, but the fact that he was holding them up, created a heat in jeno’s cheeks that couldn’t be explained.

and jeno’s foot had grazed against renjun’s calf, a small gasp escaping his mouth from the cold, sending shivers throughout his frame.

they sat there for a while, nothing but silence between them.

“being with you, it feels weird.” renjun said, and jeno tilted his head so he could look at renjun, but renjun wouldn’t dare to look over at him.

“in what way?” jeno spoke as if he almost didn’t want to hear the answer.

renjun just sighed again,

“like you feel so familiar. and it bugs me.” renjun pulled his hands from under the covers and began twisting them together in the cold air.

this time it was jeno who sighed, moving his head so he was looking at the ceiling again.

“why will you not tell me?” renjun built enough confidence to finally ask the question he had been avoiding.

it took jeno a while to respond, but once he had, renjun wished he hadn’t asked.

“i’m scared something bad will happen to you, or even me.”

renjun felt his stomach flip in such a negative way, he clenched his teeth.

“everyone just wants to protect me. i do not want to be protected anymore. i wanna go outside and i want to explore and travel and just- i just want to get out of here. my parents have kept me in here for long enough.”

“my parents have such an important reasoning though, renjun.”

it was that moment when jeno wished that he never saw renjun, his mouth slipped up and he wanted to fall into the abyss.

“what do you mean ‘my parents’?” renjun just sounded confused and tired, but jeno knew it was too far to go back.

“i meant your parents.”

renjun sat up immediately, and jeno followed his lead.

“jeno-”

“renjun-”

they said at the same time, before both of them stopped. renjun backed away from jeno, almost wanting to kick him out of his bed. jeno’s eyes were full of guilt and regret- and pain.

“are you.. are you my brother?” renjun hated to ask, one because his life had been a lie, not like he didn’t already know that. and two, because renjun was falling for this boy, feeling something completely new every time he was around him.

“god no. it’s not like that.. fuck, i cant explain this correctly, i shouldn’t have said anything.” jeno got up to leave, but renjun yanked him back to the bed, jeno surprised from the boys actions.

“do not go. you can not leave right now. tell me what is going on.” renjun demanded, and jeno shot his eyes down, curling his legs back onto the bed so he was criss crossed in front of renjun.

“it’s not really my place to-”

“jeno! please! i have already been lied to enough, the truth will not hurt me.”

but in reality, it would break him.

and jeno had slowly told his entire knowledge of the situation– that him and renjun had been childhood friends, but jeno’s parents had taken renjun from his home, where renjun’s real father was to be arrested for abuse of a minor. renjun’s real mother was very defensive and also abusive. she despised jeno’s family, especially jeno. so when renjun was brought to the house, jeno’s parents took him as their own- raising him to be their only son. keeping him protected inside as a result of the negativity from the outside world, from the search of his real parents.

renjun wasn’t crying- he couldn’t even blink, jeno had to be lying. he must’ve been lying. there is no way he could be telling the correct story.

his entire life really was a lie.

a huge fat fucking lie.

“get out.” renjun stared past jeno, his eyes low.

“renjun-”

“get the hell out!” he shouted, and jeno almost leant forward to slap his hand over renjun’s mouth, but he knew good and well every touch was risky. jeno stood up, still staring at renjun sitting up in his bed. renjun took his water bottle and threw it at jeno.

“get out jeno!” his voice was so loud, they were both positive someone had heard them, so jeno sprinted back to the basement, leaving renjun a crying mess.

and he let it happen, renjun wanted out. he had never wanted out as much as he wanted right now.

his “parents” this entire time weren’t even his real parents and he had basically been kidnapped and held against his will.

renjun couldn’t remember how long he spent crying, but when he woke in the morning his room was a mess- everything was all over the floor, even renjun himself. he woke up with a pounding head, with a sticky note stuck to his forehead. renjun ripped it off eagerly, looking for the sloppy handwriting the belonged to jeno, but instead it said, “eat something. -kun” and renjun sighed, turning over to find an entire set of breakfast sitting next to him on the floor. he wanted to kick it across the room, but he took a bite instead, deciding that if he was going to revolt, he needed to have some sort of energy.

but renjun couldn’t build up the confidence to leave his room for the entire week. kun came in a few times, knowing that renjun knew the extent of his stay, but renjun wouldn’t respond to anything that the elder was saying.

and onto the next week, renjun found himself laying awake, the parts of the room still scattered around. and when he turned over to look at the clock it read: 3:19am.

of fucking course it did.

and it was then renjun realized that he had probably hurt jeno. both mentally and physically, and it was hurting his own heart even more with the news that jeno had laid on his the previous week.

jeno mentioned something about 3:19 being the only time that they could see each other- so when renjun stepped out of his room, he was thrown a sucker punch of warm air, his eyebrows furrowing at the heat in the hallway. but he slid his feet across to the basement door, chewing his lip in nervousness. but he brought his fist to the door, knocking softly a few times. renjun knew that jeno had camera surveillance in his room- so he was bound to see him standing at the door, but there was no one behind it. and renjun had found himself in front of the bookshelf, thinking of entering the room on his own- but maybe jeno wasn’t even inside. and he listened to his head and moved it, stepping into jeno’s barely lit room. there were a few lamps on, keeping the room at a comfortable darkness. and renjun spotted him asleep in his bed, and as he moved to his side he also spotted a photo. two boys hugging and smiling at the camera- renjun realized that it was jeno and himself. he looked from the photo to something else hanging: a sticky note.

on the sticky note, in that same sloppy handwriting it read

“promise we will get married when we are older?”

with a new type of handwriting that renjun recognized as his own

“i promise ;p”

and renjun’s stomach churned as he looked back to the sleeping boy, pain written over his face even in his sleep.

renjun wasn’t sure what was pulling him to his next decision, but he crawled into jeno’s bed, gliding his legs under the covers and pulling jeno’s arm around his own body. jeno stirred awake and renjun felt that same pang in his heart that he had been feeling lately.

“junnie?”

but renjun just nuzzled his head into jeno’s shoulder. jeno felt his heart fall soft at the boy in his bed.

“i don’t know if we can work this out, but i have to try.”

renjun let himself speak the words he had been meaning to say for a while, but jeno responded with,

“you don’t have to try alone.”

renjun felt lips being pressed against the top of his head, and he found himself closing his eyes to enjoy the moment.

“you’ve been wronged, renjun. and i promise that i will get you out of this.”

but renjun couldn’t help but wonder if jeno had been wronged too. he was living in the basement of his own home, after all. there must be something else.

“why were you forced in here though, jeno?”

“they were afraid that if we saw each other you would remember me and things would go downhill.”

but renjun scoffed. it didn’t make any sense. but jeno pulled renjun closer to his side, kissing his head again. renjun found himself turning to make eye contact with jeno, his eyes darting down to lips. renjun didn’t mean to, but he was thinking about what kissing jeno would be like at such a bad time.

and jeno did the same, his eyes widening in realization that renjun was staring at his lips. but before renjun could make a decision, he kissed jeno’s shoulder and fell back onto it, pulling the covers up over his head.

and he heard jeno laugh quietly, his hand finding renjun’s.

renjun was thankful that jeno couldn’t see his red hot cheeks under the covers.

the next few weeks were spent sneaking around, meeting up at 3:19 to eat ice cream, and renjun was always begging jeno for another story about their childhood, spent with loud laughter and fun. renjun learned that at 3:19 the cameras would freeze for a few hours, all thanks to kun. they froze for 15 minutes every night, but kun would always mess around with the cords to give the boys some more time together and they were eternally grateful for such a wise soul like kun himself.

it happened first when renjun stood on jeno’s hover board again, this time using jeno’s body in front of him to guide him through the room. renjun would squeal, and would cause jeno to shut him up, so he wouldn’t cause a ruckus.

and while renjun had both hands on jeno’s shoulders, jeno blurted out a confession.

“i almost just kissed you to shut you up.” followed with a laugh.

leave it to jeno to make something so sweet turn into humor.

renjun just stared at him.

“you should have just done it.” he shrugged, moving on to act like it was nothing.

jeno had his hands gripped tightly on renjun’s waist, since the boy was so dman clumsy on the fucking hover board.

“are you saying you want-”

but renjun decided to take the initiative to kiss the boy in front of him, to indeed shut him up. and renjun almost fell backwards as soon as jeno’s hands left his waist and instead were set on renjun’s cheeks. renjun had never kissed anyone and he wasn’t sure if jeno had ever either, but the feeling that they shared was so deep and passionate and so fucking needy, renjun wanted to fall into the bliss that was jeno.

jeno moved his body closer to renjun’s, before realizing that the boy was still standing on the hover board. so jeno place his hands on renjun’s thighs, breaking the kiss to slide him backwards until he had reached the couch. renjun was gasping for air for a second, giggling like a child as jeno looked up at his, literal heart eyes escaping from his own eyes. he stared down at him, and jeno held a finger to renjun’s chest, pushing him back until he was sitting on the couch. jeno kicked his hover board backwards, hearing it hit the table behind them, but jeno reconnected their lips, slotting his perfectly with renjun’s. renjun had realized that jeno was holding himself up with his hand and he looked pretty damn uncomfortable, so he laid flat on the couch and jeno crossed one leg over him, smiling before kissing his lips again, holding them for a long few seconds, before kissing renjun’s cheek and collapsing next to him.

renjun just burst out in a fit of laughter and jeno followed along, tickling the boy’s side.

“wow”

“wow indeed”

“yeah, wow.” the third voice created a gasp from both boys, causing them to shoot up.

kun stood there in the bedroom.

“i didn’t see anything, i swear. but i know exactly what just happened. jeno, or renjun, or-”

kun took a second to scratch his head.

“jeno your parents are here. and they’re looking for the both of you.”

kun settled on addressing the adults as jeno’s parents, and renjun knew that it had to be done that way- how could he really call them his own parents.

so they walked as slow as possible to the living room, jeno stopped to spit in his hands and run his hand through renjun’s hair. and renjun, despite his fear and anger, slapped jeno’s hands away, and trying to fix jeno’s hair.

“you’re quite handsy.” jeno mumbled, grabbing renjun’s hand to kiss it quickly.

but he dropped his smile and held renjun’s hand to his chest.

“whatever happens in there, just know it won’t change the way i feel about you.” jeno spoke in a hurry and renjun gulped, nodding gently.

“you dumbass, you’re supposed to say it back.” renjun was almost positive that he felt his heart ache at the high pitched sound that came from jeno. as if he was pouting.

but renjun sent him a confident wink, before letting go of jeno’s hand and stepping into the living room where he felt his heart fall back into that defeat.

his mother- correction- he saw jeno’s mother crying, jeno’s father had a few tears in his eyes. but renjun tried to stay strong, clenching his jaw to avoid crying, his eyes falling soft at the sight of them. then back to pure fury- they had lied to him.

“why?” renjun shook his head, feeling jeno sit next to him on the couch.

“jeno had no right to tell you-” jeno’s father started but renjun cut him off.

“-jeno had every fucking right. you kept your own son locked up, along with someone’s child, traumatizing them into thinking that they had other parents. and that child was me! you lied to me my entire life and for what? and do not say to protect me.” he had never found himself this angry before.

“jeno doesn’t know the entire truth either.” jeno’s mother spoke quietly and everyone stayed frozen in their spots.

“renjun, your father- your real father, he, he was a very bad man and he-”

“-i am not a fucking child anymore. tell me, do not fucking sugar coat things.”

he had been told to watch his language, but renjun laughed at that.

“your father was in trouble for abuse. towards your mother, sometimes even you. and when he was on arrest, she had asked me to take you in around age five, and i promised her i would. that i would take care of you until she came back to get you. and she promised she would, but weeks turned into months and then into years, and we couldn’t have you out on the streets since your father was still out there, and we couldn’t take custody of you, so we kept you in here. we tried to contact your mother, but she hadn’t responded. we got sent a letter around your 10th birthday, that she didn’t want to come back, and we couldn’t dare tell you then, so it fell into routine. and we just couldn’t risk you being seen on the streets as a minor who’s parents were both gone. the police were looking everywhere for you, and that’s why we had the basement.”

she motioned to jeno, then set he gaze back on renjun.

“then why don’t i remember anything from my childhood?”

they all stayed silent and renjun was about to choke out a laugh, but jeno’s father spoke up.

“you were in a coma, for a month. after you had left the house and your father found you. it took a lot to get him away, but when he was gone, we nearly lost you. and we-”

he motioned to jeno’s mother then back to himself.

“-we took it upon ourselves to raise you as our own from when you woke up with no memory. it was almost like it was a calling.” he finished.

renjun felt jeno’s hand on his knee, but he felt numb inside.

“and these past few weeks we have been out with the city, making sure that we didn’t miss a step with helping you become an independent- now that you’re no longer a minor.”

renjun was crying now, quickly swiping his tears away, but he let them fall after that. no one rescued him from his deep feelings he was running through.

“it was wrong of jeno to tell you, and i am truly sorry you had to learn this way.”

jeno held his head low, but renjun couldn’t feel any hatred towards jeno. he had spit out the truth, and it was probably a lot easier hearing it from the boy he had now spent all his time with- rather than the people who renjun believed were his own parents.

but renjun wanted more. he wanted to know who his father was and why he turned out the way he did. and why his mother up and left him, not bothering to come to his aid, even when he was a distressed child.

“you can leave, if you want to. we can help you get into a good school, we can pay for your apartment. but renjun, please do not despise us. we were only trying to help you and your family. things weren’t supposed to turn out this way, and i will forever be sorry.” jeno’s mother sighed into her hands, but renjun stood up to move over to hug her. they cried in each other’s arms for a few minutes, muttering things like “you didn’t know any better” and “i’m so sorry”.

and once they had settled back into their chairs, renjun sat up straight and peered out the window.

“can i?”

no one had to ask him what he meant- cause they all knew exactly what he wanted.

“knock yourself out.” they laughed, still sniffling from the tears.

and renjun had practically sprinted to the back door, unlocking it himself- the locks were disarmed- and feeling the warm morning breeze on his face. he sucked in a deep breath before walking outside in the grass, stepping over the rocks and kicking his toes in the water from the pool. he turned around to look at jeno standing by his parents. his mother kissed him on the head and renjun held out a hand that was asking from jeno to take it. his mother kicked jeno playfully and jeno just about fell as he took off towards renjun. and it was simple to know his next move, everyone knew. except for renjun, who had never swam in a damn pool before. jeno tackled renjun and they both collapsed into the pool.

renjun choked for a few seconds and jeno stood there genuinely concerned, but renjun was so ecstatic at the feeling of the water around him he wanted to scream. his heart felt happy, renewed, although defeated from the truth that had been laid on a platter in front of him just a few minutes ago.

jeno had to hold onto renjun, as he had no idea how to swim, but neither of them were complaining. renjun eagerly pressed his lips to jeno’s, pulling him underwater to kiss him more.

it seemed fun, in theory, renjun thought, but the second he started choking he regretted it again. but they laughed along the next few hours, and renjun wanted to say that he felt happy for the first time in a while, but he knew that he could never forgive what had happened the previous few years of his life.

but jeno was here

and jeno was fucking great.

they had spent the entire day outside, except jeno who went inside to nap for a few hours. but renjun did not step back inside the entire day, no way in hell.

jeno laid next to renjun, where they both were perchedon the grass, staring at the stars. renjun loved them, all shiny and so far away, and so many of them.

“so are you thinking about leaving?” jeno spoke up, draining defeat in his voice.

renjun just shrugged,

“i do not know, jeno. i have only known what is inside that house, i hope to see more of the world, you know?”

and jeno understood, it was almost like he felt the same too.

“then take me with you?” he tilted his head to the side and renjun just smiled at him.

“i would most definitely not leave you behind, dummy.”

their hands tangled together, one of jeno’s hands were totally around renjun’s waist as he rubbed circles onto his exposed skin.

“i just don’t ever want to sleep in that basement again.” jeno sighed, releasing the grip on renjun’s waist and moving to sit up.

“perhaps you might find yourself a bit more comfortable in my bed?” renjun smirked and jeno kissed the smirk right off his face. he was so tempting, and renjun felt the same towards jeno. the familiar pang built up in his chest as he gave in to the addiction that jeno gave off.

this time renjun came to a realization: those pangs in his heart, were the deep, affectionate feelings of being in love.

donghyuck was right: jeno was cute.