Work Text:
“Jimin I’m heading out to the studio now. Imma be home late so don’t wait up ok babe?”
Yoongi looks back at Jimin, who were sitting on the couch and nodded at him with a sweet smile, before turning back to the T.V. At the sign of Jimin’s reply Yoongi slam the door shut, amybe a bit harsher than he had intended and head out towards his car.
Jumping from the sudden harsh sound, Jimin’s eyes left the T.V. He looked out their window eyes following the jet black car that were pulling out into the drive way. Releasing a deep breath Jimin closes his eyes, while letting himself fall onto the soft cushion of their couch.
Eveything were happening for too long now. At first it was just occasionally that Yoongi had stayed out. At first he had no doubt about his boyfriend going to the studio, and did not come back until dawn. Since whenever Yoongi had a big project he spend all his time cooped up in the narrow studio all day. Sometimes forgetting to eat and even about time itself. But after a while the staying out late becomes more frequently. And after that the odd behaviors tagged right along.
Still, even now he had no doubt over his boyfriend for he knew. He knew Yoongi were lying to him about going to the studio. He knew Yoongi had someone else out there. He knew the reason behind the endless night without his boyfriend’s warmth. He why the sudden change in behavior towards him. Jimin knew.
He’d seen it, the pink and purple markings that were not made by him on Yoongi’s pale skin making them even more visible, piercing Jimins hurting heart opening the wound even wider. He had smelled it, the fresh smell of shampoo that were not theirs lingers onto Yoongi’s soft skin. Covering up his natural scent that Jimin fell in love with. He had felt it, the fidgeting air around them whenever they were sitting together in silent, that used to be so comforting. He had heard it, the guilt in Yoongi’s voice everytime he said Jimin’s name. He knew them all.
He held up his hand, leveling it with his face so that he could get a better look at the silver ring on his ring finger. The silver ring that Yoongi had gave him for their first anniversary with his and Yoongi’s name carved into. Their names had faded after many years of wearing it. Maybe one day Yoongi’s love for him would fade away complete just like their names.
He know he could never tell the elder what he had known since forever now. Even so, he loves the other too much to have the other leave him for good. All he could do now is pretend that everything were fine and that his heart were not ripping into pieces within himself. All he can do is give Yoongi the sweet smile he love or at least had loved so much.
Pulling out the ring from his finger, clenching it to his chest Jimin felt his tears flow freely down his now thinned out cheeks. From the lack of food and sleep. That night Jimin had cried himself to sleep once again.
The sound of jingling keys trying to open the door, woke Jimin up from his not so deep slumber. A moment later Yoongi step inside taking off his shoes and walk to the couch that Jimin was sleeping on. He stroke Jimin’s hair gently. He was close enough for Jimins senses to come alive once again. But the Younger man decided to ignore the clenching feeling in his heart and pretended to be in a deep sleep. He wish he was. He wish he was in too deep to never wake up again.
“Jimin..... wake up...” Yoongi said with a soft hushed voice. Attempting to shake the sleeping man awake. Jimin did his best to not make any visible movement besides breathing deeply.
“Jimin let go to our room ok angel?” Yoongi tried again.
Upon hearing this Jimin opens his eyes and flinch a little. His eyes gone wide but were back to normal after a mere nanosecond.
“Our room?” Condensing himself Jimin asked with a tired and sad voice. Barely audible but Yoongi was able to catch it, also catching the sadness in his voice.
”Yea our room.” Yoongi tried his best to smile at his boyfriend.
”Hyung.... is there even space for me anymore?” Jimin asked his voice shivering, tears threatening to escape from inside him.
Yoongi widen his eyes for a second at the younger’s question. He knew what Jimin were referring to.
Purposely dodging the real answer he replied ”Of course there is Jiminie. Why wouldn’t there be? We have a big b-“
”STOP IT YOU KNOW THA’S NOT WHAT I MEAN.” Cutting Yoongi off Jimin shouted in frustration.
Taken back by the younger’s unexpected action they stayed in silence for what seems to be an eternity, before Yoongi tried to break the silent between them but were cut off by the other again.
“Ji-“
”Where had you been every night the last 3 months hyung?”
”what do you mean angel? I was at the studio.”
Yoongi’s answer only made him cry harder.
“Please I can’t do this anymore” Yoongi can hear how his voice trembles so painfully as he tried to prevent his tears for falling. “but I don’t want you to abandon me either. So please tell me the truth.” The younger continued after a long pause.
“I-I I can’t tell you love, I’m sorry.” Yoongi said tears threatening to falls from his own eyes now.
“Why?”
”I.... I just can’t.” One drop fell down.
”Am I not worthy enough to even have an answer to your odd behaviors lately?”
”No Jimin that’s not it please trust me. You are worth more than anything. You worth more to me than anybody Jimin even myself.” Two drop had fell.
”Then why hyung? Why did you leave me?” Three.
Yoongi shook his head, biting onto his lips hard enough to taste the metalic taste of blood on his tongue. ”I could never”
Jimin took a few deep breaths calming himself enough to stabilize his voice and stop the flowing tears. “I knew hyung, for a log time now. I knew.”
Yoongi nod his head. He know that Jimin knew what he had been doing. And even though he knew he was hurting the younger and he would kill himself for hurting the person he love most in his dull life. But then again he will never make that same mistake ever again.
“please stay with me I can’t live without you Jimin please don’t go.” Yoongi plead, tears streaming down his face, exceeding a countable number now. He was kneeling down on the floor in front of jimin. Holding onto the younger with all his mind. Gripping he other strongly but careful enough to not hurt him.
His head leaning onto Jimin’s shoulder. Jimin’s face were covered by his left arm while the other were laying on his side. The elder heared a *clink* sound. Looking down towards the direction of the sound. He was about to pick up whatever object Jimin had dropped. Pausing for a moment looking at a familiar figure. Yoongi wiped his eyes dry of the salty liquid to have a clearer look. It was the ring that he had bought Jimin. He picked up the ring tears began to fall again, harder now than ever. Clutching onto Jimin’s ring and Jimin, like they both were going to vanish into thin air even in his grasp.
Begging for the other to not abandon him. Having a hard time stuttering and choking on his own tears. Pleading words endlessly slip off his tongue. Feeling fearful, more scared than he had ever felt in his life.
The younger had long stopped weeping. Tear tracks dried on his face. His eyes swollen and red, but were not filled with water. It had lost its light and warmth. Instead were filled with none lovingly coldness and darkness, shadowed.... dead.
“Were I not enough for you?”
Yoongi shook his head. Putting in enough force to make himself feels dizzy.
”Why did you not come to me?”
“Did you stopped loving me?”
”Will you be happier if I had left? Or maybe leave right now?”
”Did they loved you more than I did?”
Yoongi shook his head, repeating nos’ to Jimin’s every question.
“.... Do you... regret me? Regret us?”
The question came like a storm to the kneeling man.
“No Jimin I’d never regret you. Regret us. Never Jimin never.”
”Then why Suga?” His voice calm, he were just plainly tired. After those long and seemingly endless months making Jimin feels like he might die form loneliness. He were drained. He had no energy left inside him. He was tired of waiting eveyday until almost sun rise for his boyfriend to return everyday. Tired of having to cry himself to sleep. Tired of the way his heart has tighten up every time Yoongi was being careless and accidentally show the fading marks. Jimin don’t even know who this person is anymore, it wasn’t the Yoongi that he used to know that he had loved. Whoever it was that had taken over Yoongi’s body and mind. That person had broken him. He doesn’t know them.
”I’m sorry Jimin.” Yoongi tried his best to talk. Calming down his breathing Little by little. Hiccups here and there.
”I won’t make up some dumb lie anymore. Not will I try to excuse my way out of the mess I had caused.”
*silence*
”W-work was frustrating and I, Oh my god Jimin I was just overwhelmed and stressed so I.”
”So you went to look for comfort from other people?”
Yoongi nodded at Jimin’s question that were more like a comment.
”Why? Why not with me?”.
”How could I Jimin? You know how rough I get whenever I let that monster go loose whenever I’m stressed, Jimin please. That t-time you... you bled so much Jimin. I couldn’t bare to hurt you again. You were just lying there without making a single movement or gesture. And your breathing were so weak that i could not feel it no matter how close i got. I t-thought I had lost you that time. Your flawless body were full of bruises and ugly scratches. Tears were streaming down your beautiful face. And blood was there Jimin. BLOOD. But you just held everything in, Jimin, no matter how painful it was. You kept it all to yourself. You just stayed quiet the whole time until you eventually passed out. I knew I was wrong. I knew I should’ve stopped but I couldn’t, the rage inside me took over. I became a monster. One that could never be tamed. How could I ever bare to make you suffer like that again? This creature inside me how could I let it show it face to you ever agin Jimin? Please, I need you, don’t throw me away.”
“You said you didn’t want to hurt me? But did you know not having your warmth presence near me every night were killing me even more? Did you know that having you be with somebody else while lying to me were making me fall apart? Did you know everytime i see the purple markings and your skin, it feels as if a million knives were stabbing through my heart? The pain that night were nothing comparing to this Yoongi. No matter how much you hurt me physically it could never be compare to how mentally hurt I am right now Yoongi. The pain that I feel of that cold and slick fabric of that half empty bed is scarier than anything. I didn’t care Yoongi. You were never a moster. I love you no matter what, even now. Even when you have broke me apart to the point where I can’t be pieced together again, when I’m nothing but dust in the air. You can drain all the blood from my body, Yoongi and I could honestly careless. Because at least then I’d still have you.” Jimin had started to cry softly again. Soft, but enough for his voice to tremble and his lips to quivers uncomfortably everytime he tried to speak.
”Please baby, how could I ever leave you? You won’t lose me I promise. I’d never let you go so please. Please also stay by my side. Jimin we Start over? If you are too broken to be pieced together again. I can remake you again Jimin all of you. Just don’t abandon me I beg you.”
“Hyung you know I love you. I love you too much to live without you now hyung. I can’t do it anymore, it’s too late now.”
“Please I will do anything. Just dont leave me behind.”
”Never, I can’t anymore. I had fell too deep for someone name Min Yoongi. Who without knowing break me apart, and when he realizes how broken I was, never abandoned me instead put me back together carefully. I had fell in love with that idiot that never wanted to hurt me, but does it in the most horrible ways possible.” Jimin’s eyes once again slarkled brightly like how it always was. A small endearing soft smile blasted on his face.
”Oh my god Jimin, I don’t deserve someone as wonderful and perfect as you Jimin. I dont know how I’d be able to live without your sweet presense and loving words. I wish I was better for you. Give me another chance, I promise I won’t go it again I promise to try my best to be someone worthy of you Jimin.” Yoongi spoke with his most honest words and the most relieved tone
”I believe you hyung can we go to bed now? It’d been a long night I’m tired, I’m sure you are too.” Jimin let out a lovely giggle, trying his best to comfort the his crying boyfriend.
Yoongi said nothing, everything was silent beside Yoongi’s soft cries and small hiccups. He just give Jimin a little nod and clenched onto the younger boy as he were trying to get up. At the lost of warmth feeling scared, Yoongi swung himself into Jimin’s embrace before the younger could even stable his footing.
Without much struggle, Jimin were able to pull the light man, that were still koala-ed to him into their shared bedroom. Both of them settled down in the familiar bed. They warmed up the sheet together for the first time in a while. The comforting feeling came back hitting them both gently like a ray of sunlight at early dawn. Tired from the eventful night they both feels their heavy lids slowly comes together.
“You will still be here when I wake up right? I’m really sorry” After much silence Yoongi asked, unsure, after all he had done he don’t expect Jimin to forgive him so soon and easily if ever. But the younger gave him a sweet and Wide smile, reopening his eyes to meet up with his boyfriend’s worried expression.
“Of course hyung, I’m not going anywhere.” Jimin pulled the elder closer to his chest and caress his soft hair.
Feeling a bit reassuring now Yoongi finally let himself fall into the deep and comfortable sleep that he had been missing for so long. Along side with the person he had gave all his heart to. Realizing now that being able to be like this with Jimin were enough to let all his worries and head aching stress melts way. He mentally scold at himself for not realizing such an obvious thing sooner.
~four years later~
”Papa, Da Da’s home”
”Yoojin how many times do I have to tell you not to run around the house? Now slow down before you hurt yourself.” They had decised to adopt a three tears old girl name Yoojin two years after their marriage. Their newest member had changed their life a lot in the best ways possible. Jimin could not be happier and he sure it was the same for the other.
”But i wanna see Da Da” Yoonjin called out as she was dashing for the door.
Jimin let out a sigh their daughter can be such a pain some times despite her usual angelic behavior.
“Baby I’m- uhmp” Yoongi huffed as the little girl jumps into his arms.
”Welcome home hyung” He gave his now husband a gentle kiss and the lips.
”Welcome back Da Da”
Yoongi have a wide smile on his face. Being able to receiving so much love and affection from his beloved family after a tiring day at work, was what made Yoongi push passed his limitations everyday.