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He was taller. He was taller and wider, and his jaw was more pronounced and—
God he looked good.
God he looked good.
His hair was longer and softly curled around the nape of his neck and it was sinful how much Lance wanted to thread his fingers through it, collect it in his hands and leave his neck bare and—
This just wasn’t fair. Why did Keith get to disappear and then just—change like that. Come back looking like he came straight out of a romance novel.
It was like…like—Lotor was finally out of the picture but oh no here comes Keith with his chiseled face and smoldering looks and the princess was totally going to fall for him now.
(Just the princess. Of course.)
And then Keith made it worse by spending his every free moment with Shiro who not only still wracked Lance’s heart with guilt just to look at but once upon a time Shiro was the Adonis of the group and now, by comparison to how tired he looked and Keith practically glowing beside him.
This shit just wasn’t fair.
They were at an inn on a random planet. Staying and eating for free, of course, defender of the universe status and all that.
It was the first time they’d all physically seen each other in a few days since they’d started traveling without the castle ship and without all the mortal peril Lance could finally really look at the situation they were in.
On the one hand his body buzzed like electricity was in his veins at the mere thought he was going to go home—eat his grandmother’s cooking, hug his siblings, look at his mother…
On the other hand, they’d lost their home. They’d lost the complacency of a good chunk of the gala empire they were still fighting. Sendak was still out there. God knew what else was instore for them.
And then to top it all off Keith had to look like that.
And look at him like that—
Look at him.
Oh.
“Lance?” Keith asked, sidling onto the bench next to Lance as the others ate dinner.
Lance’s eyes darted over to Shiro where he sat conversing with Krolia. Made sense then that Keith might bother to look at him now, he guessed.
“What’s up oh fearless leader?” Lance asked carelessly. At least, he hoped.
Keith stared at him for a long minute, his hair like silk slipping loose from his shoulders and hanging to frame his face. God how did he look like that?!
After that minute, Keith smiled, something that had always managed to make Lance’s heart jump into his throat for some reason or another—
He remembers Keith’s hand in his. He remembers Keith’s other arm around his back as he weakly pressed into his chest. He remembered his own voice telling Keith how they worked well together, how Keith was amazing, how he was so warm…
He remembers Keith’s eyes had never looked softer. He remembered that smile that melted straight through him. He remembered Keith’s voice, so soothing, telling him, telling Lance, “Nah Man, you’re amazing. That was incredible I never would have thought you had it in you.”
“I’m full of surprises, aren’t I?” Lance had mumbled, his forehead nuzzling against Keith’s neck. He remembered the armor was uncomfortable but he was just so tired. And Keith was…Keith… Lance just wanted to be near him.
Keith had taken a deep breath, squeezed his hold on Lance’s body, and hummed pleasantly, “Sure looks like it.”
“Take a walk with me.”
“A walk?” Lance snapped out of it and his eyes darted to his still unfinished food. Granted, he wasn’t planning to finish it but…
Keith rolled his eyes and Lance could have sworn it looked… fond.
“Are you joking?”
Keith stood up and offered Lance his hand, “Yeah man, a walk. You know what those are don’t you?”
Lance sputtered, “uh duh? Just feels like I’m in trouble or something.” He eyed Keith’s hand and defensively put his hands down on the seat of the bench, pushing himself up a bit. Keith’s brow quirked but he put his hand down and stepped back to give Lance some room.
“Why would you think you’re in trouble?” Keith asked.
Lance thought briefly of Shiro again, the guilt twisting around in his chest like a jagged rock. His eyes must have darted over because Keith’s hand was suddenly back up and on his cheek; simple and soft yet demanding Lance’s full attention.
There was an awkward silence at the table but Lance couldn’t notice it over the rapid and loud beating of his heart.
“You’re not in trouble. If you were I’d get you out of it. You know that.”
“Hey Lance, got your lion back.”
“Great, now could you come and untie me?”
“What’s that? I- I can’t hear you.”
Lance remembered the warmth of Keith’s gloved hands as he inspected the handcuffs keeping him stuck to the tree. Remembered the adorable way his eyebrows knit together as he tried to figure out the mechanism.
Both their helmets were on the ground, the others probably couldn’t hear them.
“Why didn’t you bring the others?” Lance mumbled. Not sure if he was asking because he was curious or because he was annoyed, thinking Hunk or Pidge would have got him out of this faster.
Keith’s eyes didn’t leave the mechanism on the handcuffs, but when he spoke Lance might have jostled him a bit, “Didn’t want the others to see you like this.”
Like what? Pathetic? Had Keith been protecting him?
“…You were being such a jerk, I never would have thought you…”
Keith shook his head as he fiddled with something Lance couldn’t see, “I was just joking. If you’re ever in a bind like this—I’ve got you, okay man?”
Lance looked down just in time for his arms to come free. He would have slipped, but Keith caught him by the arm.
“I’ve got you.”
“Oh really? I seem to remember getting you out of a few scrapes myself.” Lance mumbled, doing everything in his power to not press his cheek into Keith’s palm. Where were his gloves? Why was this just skin on skin and so goddamn warm?
The room. They were in a room with the others. They were all watching this. Lance knew it, he felt it, this was bad, but he just couldn’t bring himself to really pull away just yet.
Keith’s smile only got wider, his eyes ever softer; then thankfully, he lowered his hand himself. “That’s true…Come on.” He nudges his head toward the exit and started to walk away.
Lance spared a glance back at the table to catch the eyes of a few of his fellow paladins. Hunk immediately looked back down, eyes wide like he was trying not to say something. Pidge smirked when she realized Lance was looking at her. Allura wasn’t facing them, though her cheeks looked a little pink as she tried to speak animatedly to the other Altean and Coran.
It was Shiro and Krolia that made Lance’s stomach flip, with their raised brows and their slightly slackened jaws like they were waiting for something.
“Right hand man, you coming?”
Lance bit his lip and bolted out after him, perhaps a little too eager, but that was a term that—said in Keith’s voice—well to say it got to him was a bit of an understatement.
The planet they were on was nice and earthy. The inn wrapped around a vaguely sheltered plaza, full of trees and bushes littered with flowers that glowed a teal green in the evenings growing darkness.
It was. Romantic, if Lance really thought about it.
Keith nudged his shoulder and sauntered up to one of the trees, “Have you seen these guys? They’re supposed to do something cool with lights, but I can’t remember…” Keith started to raise his hand toward one of the flowers and Lance watched the light shift from calm teal to a warm red. Keith immediately yanked his hand back and the flower returned to its original color.
“Ah. Never mind.”
Lance eyed how Keith seemed to suddenly feel the need to keep his distance from the plants and how his cheeks darkened just a bit, “You remember?”
“…No?” Keith lied.
Lance raised a brow but decided not to push it. It’s been years to Keith even if the last time they’d talked like this hadn’t been too long ago to Lance.
(Okay. It had been a long time. But not years.)
So he figured it would be best to just let Keith—this Keith, do what he needed to.
“Why’d you want to come out here, Mullet?” Lance offered finally.
Keith chuckled at the familiarity and just like that the awkwardness about whatever it was the flowers had done was gone.
“I just wanted to talk to you, without the others around. You know… figured you’d be more receptive if it was just… Just us?”
When he’d made the announcement, he bolted. It was expected, almost, with the way Allura had looked at him then. With the way Pidge and Hunk had taken an almost defensive step back.
Keith had run like a wounded feral animal after stating to his teammates that he was part of the species of people who were destroying the universe.
He’d been a mess, covered in injuries, weak and limping. He should have gone straight to a healing pod but as soon as he knew he needed to tell the others and with that reaction—
It made Lance angry.
Angry because Keith was afraid. Angry because Keith didn’t feel safe with his family and they were all behaving poorly.
So Lance did the only thing he could. He went after him.
“Keith wait!” Lance had shouted around a hall, finally catching up enough he could see just Keith’s shadow as it rounded a corner. It stopped dead, like Lance’s voice had placed lead in his feet, and before long Lance had caught up to him in this nondescript hallway of the castle ship.
“What do you want Lance…” Keith had mumbled, nearly folding in on himself, one foot turned to show he was ready to bolt away again.
Lance didn’t like that, so he reached out and took his hand. His blood only boiled a little at the way Keith winced at the touch, injuries still fresh.
“I just… look it’s just us okay. Don’t… be afraid, alright?”
“I’m not afraid.”
Lance remembered watching Keith’s eyes dart to the floor, to the wall, anywhere but at him.
“Keith. Listen to me. You’re fine okay? You’re still…”
“I’m galra Lance.”
Lance barely let him finish the thought before he was saying with just as much force, “You’re Keith. So what? Being galra doesn’t change who you are. It doesn’t change what you’ve done, it doesn’t change who loves you—you’re still the same hot head mullet, pain in the ass ace pilot, and a few funky genetics aren’t going to suddenly change that.”
Keith remained silent.
“It’s not something you can control, Keith. We’re defined by our actions, not who made us. And if you think for one second that I’m going to treat you any differently now you’re wrong.”
He remembered as the shorter male pressed his forehead to Lance’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around his back, holding so tightly Lance almost didn’t realize he was shaking.
He remembered his own arms sliding around Keith’s waist, one arm going up to hold the back of his head.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” His voice cracked.
Lance shushed him, “There’s nothing to apologize for. Shh, it’s fine. You’re fine. It’s just us.”
“…Thank you.”
Keith’s eyes were something unholy. At least, it didn’t seem likely of God to bestow such power to someone who was already perfect but then, there he was with those eyes the most beautiful things Lance had ever seen.
And they were still looking at Lance like he was small and needed protecting.
And damn if that wasn’t at least half as infuriating as it was encouraging.
“I’m fine Keith. We could have talked back there.”
Keith shook is head, his smile unwavering, “I don’t think so… You know I don’t blame you, right?”
Lance’s foot slipped on the brick walkway as he followed Keith around the garden. Keith’s arm shot out to catch him but Lance managed to correct himself first, “Blame me? For what?”
“For Shiro.”
Oh.
Lances eyes found the floor. Which was fine, because the floor didn’t do ridiculous things to his heart like Keith did.
“It wasn’t your fault. I didn’t realize either. No one blames you. It was a shitty situation and I—I left. I should have been around. We should have…”
Talked.
“Please stop feeling guilty about this.”
Lance slowly dragged his eyes back up to Keith’s face and noticed his head had gotten awfully close to a few flowers that were glowing red again.
It was his color, annoyingly enough.
“You’re doing the thing again.” Lance mumbled, lifting his hand toward the back of Keith’s head, toward the flowers rather, though he noted Keith’s eyes widen slightly and how his hair brushed Lance’s hand as he seemed to tilt his head just the tiniest bit toward him.
“Doing w-what?”
“Well first off you’re displacing the blame to yourself and I’m not here for it but also the flowers.” Lance mumbled absently, just as his hands came close enough to the glow the color started to shift. Soft pink surged through the red in little bursts and a few of the flowers around them started to shift to match, just a little patch of pink and red behind Keith’s head.
Keith’s eyes widened more dramatically and he turned to look at them as Lance pulled his hand away.
Given he didn’t know what the flowers meant, Lance just continued with the conversation, “We’re not having this conversation if you’re going to sit here and call yourself a problem again. We did this once. You’re not expendable.”
Matt waved his arms and his face was pale as he shouted at Shiro on the castle ship, “You’re not going to talk to him!? Shiro he almost died!”
Shiro looked uncomfortable so Lance started to tune into the conversation after making sure Allura got sent to her room to rest rather than approach the galran prince just yet.
“Who almost died? I mean we all kind of almost died…”
“Yeah but unlike Keith none of us volunteered to be blown up!”
Oh.
Oh! Well. If Keith wanted to die so bad Lance would grant him that wish.
“I’m sorry. Where is he?”
Matt threw his arms up again, “Finally! He’s hiding in his room. Go talk some sense into him!”
Lance turned like and stalked through the castle like a hound from hell, off to collect a very stupid Mullet’s soul.
“I can’t believe you. I won’t.” Lance shouted, not even knocking on Keith’s door as he let himself in. Keith sat on his bed, hands out in front of his face, hands and fingers shaking.
He looked up at Lance and Lance noticed the wetness reflecting in his eyes, the tears trailing down his cheeks.
“L-Lance I—”
Lance wasn’t sure what it was. What snapped in him.
But suddenly Keith was on his back on the bed and Lance was on top of him, smothering his head to his chest as he hissed about how angry he was, how Keith could never be that stupid again or so help him even if Keith made it to the afterlife on the next one he would have no ounce of peace.
“I will hunt your stupid mulleted spirit into the next hundred universes do you understand me!?”
Keith croaked.
“How could you do this to me? T-to us! Do you have any idea how much your death would wreck this family!?”
Keith’s pale hands made their way to Lance’s back and dug in as he started to sob, “I don’t know! I just thought—it was the only way to save you—all of you—I’m not as important at the rest of you I’m not even a pa—!”
“You are! You are so fucking important Keith!”
Lance remembered the dampness on his flight suit. He remembered how Keith started to hiccup and how he never lifted his face from Lance’s chest despite being given ample opportunity when Lance finally released his death grip. He remembered how Keith fell asleep in his arms and how he didn’t mind it at all.
He also remembered waking up the next morning in Keith’s astonishingly empty room, cold and alone.
But here he was, and he was glowing. And he was beautiful. And he was smiling like someone had just dropped the nicest gift on his lap.
“I… I didn’t mean it like that…” Keith offered though he couldn’t stop smiling.
Lance scratched the back of his head and wondered why the flowers were still shifting between colors like that when he’d since pulled away.
Keith didn’t seem so afraid of them anymore either.
“I just meant… Shit happens. We’re all good now. Everything is… pretty great now,” Keith chuckled a little and Lance hoped that when he rolled his eyes it didn’t look nearly as fond as Keith’s did earlier.
“Whatever Mullet. Was that all? Cause let me tell you. I’m not just gonna magically stop feeling like shit about the fact we could have saved Shiro like…month’s ago.”
“What happened to all your optimism, Lance?” Keith offered, his eyes finally losing some of that secret glee.
Lance shrugged his shoulders and turned away, “I dunno. It’s been really… not great since you left. I’m glad your back and all. It’s just. I dunno I guess I just have to get back to it.”
Keith’s hand found Lance’s shoulder and Lance glanced down at those extremely pretty hands, back at the glow of Keith’s extremely pretty face.
“I’m glad to be back too Lance. I’m sorry I was gone for so long.”
Keith bit his lip and Lance wondered briefly about why he was paying so much attention to the soft fleshy pink of it.
“…Guess I missed you.” Lance mumbled absently, not even sure why he was saying it now.
Keith’s lip popped out from under his teeth and his cheeks were definitely pink now. His shoulders rose in an almost protective way, but he was still smiling and suddenly—
Very suddenly, Lance realized Keith could grow all he wanted, because in this moment he looked just as small and soft as he always had. And Lance would never really stop wanting to protect him just as much as Keith had wanted to be there for him.
“I missed you too.” Keith mumbled back.
Lance wasn’t sure what it was, whether it was the way he said it or the lights or the horribly adorable face he was making when he said it but Lance felt his chest tighten and the blood rush to his face and he just—didn’t know what to say.
When Keith straightened and leaned forward, kissing Lance’s cheek, he really didn’t know what to say.
When Keith took his hand and threaded their fingers together, tugging him along the path with the most innocent and embarrassed smile on his face Lance finally, blessed as he so was by the gods on this night, managed to think of something to say.
“S-so… what do these flowers do again?”