Work Text:
You can keep your secrets
But that's all you get to keep
You can keep your mindset lost in misery
Keep me in the dark
With the truth is where I'll sit
Put me in the closet, but I just can't fit
I'm slowly dying by watching you
Theo knows Liam is hiding something. He’s spent enough time with the beta by now to be able to read him pretty well. But being able to read him and knowing what secrets he’s keeping are two completely different things.
It’s not until Theo moves in with Liam and the Geyer’s that he realizes just how little he actually knows about Liam. Theo had just assumed that Liam’s parents were always busy and that’s why he was able to get away with being out late as much as he was. But no, Liam had just sent them away from Beacon Hills.
When Jenna tells Theo that one morning over coffee Theo feels his chest ache. Liam had sent his parents away shortly after the Ghost Riders arrived in town, saying that he needed to be sure they were safe. He’d sent them away knowing that there was a chance they’d leave and just one day forget him, coming home to an empty house with no idea someone else was supposed to be there. No idea they once had a son that they loved and cared for.
“I had no idea,” Theo says, glaring down at the cup of coffee in front of him. “He never said anything to me.”
“I don’t think he told anyone,” Jenna says, a sadness in her voice that has Theo looking up. “He probably didn’t want to worry you all with everything else that was going on. And with everyone just up and disappearing…”
“No one would question why Liam was on his own,” Theo finishes and Jenna nods. “And after that?”
“He said he wanted to be completely sure it was safe,” Jenna says, “Both David and I had taken seasonal positions at a hospital in Seattle so we were fine. But there wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t miss my son and worry about his safety. Every time the phone rang I was afraid that it would be someone telling me he was hurt, or dead. The day he finally called and told us he thought it was safe to come home was such a relief. Meeting you was one too.”
“Me?” Theo asks, “Why?”
“Because you were here with him. He wasn’t alone,” Jenna says, “Yes I know he has Mason and the pack but I think you two have something special, whether you realize that or not.”
“We’re friends,” Theo tells her. Even that word sounds foreign, but he knows it’s true. After everything that’s happened they have become friends. Sure they still argue but they have each other’s backs.
“Honey, no friends watch each other the way you two do,” Jenna tells him. She pats his hand and stands up, heading into the kitchen. A little while later she walks by, brushing a hand through his hair and goes to get ready for work.
Theo is still sitting there when Liam finally bounds down the stairs, his backpack slung over his shoulder. Liam frowns over at him, “Aren’t you going to get ready for school?”
Theo looks down at himself and curses when he realizes he’s still in his pajamas. He jumps up and races towards the stairs, Liam calling after him, “If we’re late it’s your fault!”
Theo starts watching Liam more closely after that, trying to find some chip in the walls he’s clearly built up. He can smile and joke and be happy all he wants but Theo knows there’s something underneath all those smiles, a pain Liam doesn’t want the rest of the world to see.
It’s not that Theo wants Liam to be in pain, but he knows better than anyone what happens when you keep it hidden. When it’s allowed to simmer there below the surface and eat away at you. He doesn’t want that for Liam.
Theo really isn’t sure what he wants or why it matters. In the past he wouldn’t have cared if Liam was suffering. Now it makes his skin scrawl. It makes him want to wrap Liam up and protect him from whatever is hurting him. But how do you protect someone from themselves?
Liam’s currently sprawled out on his bed, his headphones in and playing his music so loud Theo is surprised his ears can stand it. He has his pencil tapping against his chin as he studies the homework in front of him. The only word Theo can think of to describe him is adorable.
Theo makes himself look away when Liam looks over at him. He hears the music stop and then the sound of rustling before Liam speaks, “Did you need something?”
Theo isn’t sure what to say. He can’t exactly tell Liam that no he doesn’t need anything because he was just being a creep and watching him do his homework.
Theo leans against the door and crosses his arms across his chest as he looks back over at Liam, “I just wanted to be sure you didn’t need help with anything.”
Liam’s brow furrows, “You wanted to help me with homework?”
Theo shrugs, “I happen to be excellent at biology, and I know that you struggle a bit with it.”
Liam sighs, “I was doing my history homework but…” he looks over at the other books on his bed before turning back to Theo, “I guess I could use some help with biology.”
“Tell you what,” Theo says, pushing off the door and walking towards the bed. He sits down next to Liam when he scoots over to make room, “I’ll help you with biology if you help me pick out a good topic for my history paper.”
Liam’s face lights up at that, “Yeah okay. I love history!”
Theo has to duck his head to hide his smile, “Yeah I know. That’s why I need your help.”
“We could do that now?” Liam suggests, practically bouncing with his excitement. “My biology assignment isn’t due for another few days, and you should probably figure out what topic to write your paper on so that you can get started.”
“Good point,” Theo lays down on his stomach next to Liam as Liam opens up his history book. Liam’s tongue is poking out from between his teeth as he flips through the pages. “What are you looking for?”
“Well you need something good,” Liam tells him, “But you also need something that won’t be super hard to find research for. Which I mean, I could probably help with that. But you’ll probably want to do a little bit on your own.”
“I probably should,” Theo admits, “I’m pretty sure Mrs. Stable would know if you wrote my paper.”
“I never said I’d write it for you,” Liam tells him, but from the way his face heats up Theo has no doubt he would do it. “I’m just going to guide you.”
“And I’m sure you’ll be an excellent guide,” Theo says, “Seriously. I’ve never met someone who loves history as much as you do.”
“Yeah well, it helped me a lot when I was little,” Liam says, his face falling a bit at that before he’s putting a smile back on his face.
Theo frowns, “Why do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Act like you’re okay when you’re clearly not,” Theo says.
Liam stares at him for a moment in shock, before his eyes harden. Theo hates the way he seems to be closing off. This is the opposite of what he wanted.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Liam bites out.
“Liam…”
“Stop that,” Liam says, glaring in his direction. “Stop acting like you care about me when you clearly don’t.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Theo asks, feeling more confused than ever.
“You can’t care Theo,” Liam tells him. “You can try but you can’t.”
Theo wants to shout at him. He wants to tell him that he does care and that he cares about him. A lot. But he doesn’t. He can’t get the words to come out. Instead he slowly sits up and crawls off the bed, his posture tense. He refuses to look at Liam.
“I do care,” Theo tells him, his words barely above a whisper. Then he’s leaving the room, ignoring Liam as he calls after him.
I see your pictures of the past
They haunt me
I can see the truth, but I just won't believe
And now you're skeletons are taunting me
I just can't face all my memories
Liam isn’t an idiot or anywhere near as oblivious as people would like to believe. He notices things. More importantly he notices Theo and the way he watches him. He just isn’t sure what to do about it. Which is why the moment Theo starts trying to get close to him he has to go and put his foot in his mouth.
Theo has been distant ever since that night. He’s talked to Liam sure, and has been nice to him even. Nicer than he probably deserves. But his walls are up again. Liam hates it. He hates that he had to let his own fears about his growing feelings for Theo get in the way and cause him to say something he didn’t actually mean.
Because he knows Theo cares. He’s seen more than enough proof of that. It’s just something he’s having to wrap his head around. There’s also the fact that Theo had gotten too close to the truth about something bothering Liam.
“Is everything alright sweetheart?” Jenna asks him, drawing Liam’s attention away from the wall he’d been staring at for who knows how long.
“Yeah,” Liam says, the answer automatic. Then he thinks better of it, deciding it’s better to just get it over with and be honest. “I had a fight with Theo.”
“I see,” Jenna says, “and what did you do?”
“Me? Who says I did anything?” When his mother just raises an expectant eyebrow he sighs, “Okay fine. He was… we were studying the other night and he was being so nice to me. He started trying to talk to me about what’s been bothering me and I lashed out. I told him he didn’t care about me, that he couldn’t care. I didn’t mean it. I just…”
“You’re not sure how to handle your feelings for him,” Jenna finishes and Liam nods. “I know you two have quite the history, and not all of it has been good. But Liam, a fool could see how much he cares about you. Why else would be still be here?”
“What?” Liam asks, “What do you mean? He has the pack.”
“A pack that he tried to dismantle and hurt,” Jenna tells him, “One that is still trying to figure out if they can trust him from what I gather. He had no reason to stick around after the threat was gone Liam. But he did. And it’s pretty obvious why.”
“For me?” Liam whispers.
“Yes you idiot,” Theo says, stepping into the room, “For you.”
I'm slowly dying by watching you
Theo watches as Liam’s eyes widen as Theo hesitantly moves further into the room. He hadn’t planned to reveal himself. Hell he hadn’t planned to listen. But he’d found himself on the stairs and knew that Liam and Jenna would stop talking if they realized he was there. And Liam was opening up to his mother. He hadn’t wanted to ruin that.
“Why?” Liam asks him.
Jenna looks between the two of them before gathering her things and slipping out of the room, and then out of the house. Liam doesn’t seem to be paying attention. His eyes are only focused on Theo as he stands up and walks closer to him, “Why stay for me?”
“You know why,” Theo tells him.
“Pretend that I don’t.”
Theo lets out a bitter laugh and shakes his head, “Because as hard as it might be for you to believe I do care about you. I don’t know when it started but by the time I realized it, it was too late. I’d fallen hard for you. But back then you were with Hayden and it didn’t matter. Then she left and you were alone. I couldn’t just leave you like that, even if you could barely stand me back then. So I stayed. I stayed and I watched and I waited. I was there when you needed me, whether you would admit it or not.”
Theo steps closer to Liam, encouraged when he doesn’t pull away, “Despite what you may think Liam I do care. And I care about you. More than you realize.”
“I know,” Liam tells him, “I know you. I’ve seen you the way you watch me. The way you look at me it’s like…”
“Like what?”
“Like you want me,” Liam whispers, “and it scares me. Mostly because I want you to want me.”
“Are you singing Cheap Trick at me?” Theo smirks, not feeling anywhere near as sure as he’s letting on.
Liam rolls his eyes, “No way. If anything it’s the Mest song.”
“The Mest song?”
“Yeah you know Dying For You? It goes like,” Liam takes a deep breath and then surprises Theo when he starts singing.
I'm watching you, watching me
I'm wanting you, wanting me
“Ah yes,” Theo says, “that does seem fitting.”
“It does,” Liam says, “but are you seriously not going to acknowledge what I said?”
“I’m processing it,” Theo tells him, “You’re not wrong. I do want you Liam. I just… it scares me too. I’m not used to feeling this way about someone.”
“Well maybe,” Liam says, stepping further into Theo’s space until their chests are touching, “We can work on not being scared. Together.”
“Hmm and what would that involve?”
“Dates. And hand holding,” Liam says, taking Theo’s hand in his own and lacing their fingers together, “And kisses.”
“Aren’t you going to do show me that one too?” Theo asks, leaning in closer to Liam.
“Do you want me to?” Liam whispers.
“Yeah, I do,” Theo murmurs.
Liam hesitates a moment, his gaze moving across Theo’s face. Theo gets it. This next step is a big one for them. It feels as though once they take it there’s no going back. But oh does Theo want to take it. He’s not going to push though.
“It’s in your hands Liam,” Theo tells him, “Like so many other things. My heart. My life. Whatever happens next is up to you.”
“Theo,” Liam breathes, his free hand coming up to cup Theo’s cheek. Then he’s leaning in and kissing him, his lips soft and a little hesitant. Theo lets Liam set the pace, not wanting to push for more than Liam is willing to give. Liam pulls back after a while and frowns at him. “What’s wrong with you? Do you not like it?”
“What?”
“You’re just standing there. You’re not even touching me,” Liam tells him, “Is this… you said this is what you wanted.”
“It is,” Theo assures him, bringing the hand not holding Liam up to Liam’s hip, “I do want this. I just… I’m not sure what I’m allowed to do.”
“Allowed?” Liam asks.
“Yeah like… what it’s okay for me to do. I don’t want to push you or do something you’re not okay with,” Theo tells him.
Liam’s face softens a bit at that as he brings their joined hands up and places them over his heart, “I want this. And if there is ever something I don’t like or want to do I will tell you. And I expect you to do the same, okay?”
Theo nods, “Yeah okay.”
Liam smiles, “Good. Now that that’s cleared up, why don’t you show me how you really want to kiss me?”
Theo smirks, his arm moving from Liam’s hip to wrap around his waist as he pulls him closer. When their lips meet this time it’s a lot less hesitant. Theo puts all the pent up longing and tension he’s been feeling into it, pleased when Liam gives it right back.
“If this is dying, it isn’t so bad,” Liam mumbles against his lips.
Theo huffs a laugh and pulls Liam back in for another kiss.
I'm watching you, watching me
I'm wanting you, wanting me
I'm dying for you
Theo slowly gets Liam to start opening up to him after that, finding out just what makes Liam look as sad as he does. Liam admits that he’s been lonely. That even though he knows he does have people around that care about him he can’t help but feel alone. He says it started when he was little and his Dad died and then grew when he had to send his parents away.
After that Theo vows to do whatever he can to make sure Liam doesn’t feel lonely like that. He knows what it’s like, having spent so much time on his own without normal human interaction. He never wants Liam to feel like that, but he knows just being together won’t be enough.
So he starts getting Liam out more, he organizes back gatherings and drops hints with Mason to get the two hanging out together more often. He even helps plan things with Liam and his parents, things he often finds himself getting dragged into. Not that he minds it. Somehow on the road to helping Liam feel less lonely Theo finds that a lot of his loneliness has been fading away as well. Looking at Liam, the pack, and his new family and the happy smiles they’re all wearing it’s not hard to see why.