Chapter Text
"Pardon me, m'Lady. I didn't know you had-" he looked towards Hook, scanning him, trying to find out who this man was,"-a guest."
Hook smiled. "Since when do you associate yourself with such ruffians, luv?"
"I'm talking to you, aren't I?" Regina retorted. "Besides, I am known as the Evil Queen. Evil queen, evil acquaintances."
"Fair enough." said Hook, gently scratching his chin with his silver hook.
"You're a pirate." Robin said, bluntly.
Hook turned around, crossing his arms,"What gave it away, mate? Was it my dismembered hand, or my dashing good looks?"
Robin hesitated,"It takes a thief to know a thief."
"Oh, don't tell me that you practice the art of robbery as well. Why, such a clean-looking lad can't possibly know how to get his hands dirty."
"Well I'll have you know that I'm the greatest thief there is, in the Enchanted Forest, that is." Robin smiled, quite pleased with himself. "Maybe you've heard of me?"
Hook looked towards Regina, obviously confused, waiting for a hint. Regina just looked away, displeased with the situation. He returned his gaze towards Robin, who was still patiently waiting for an answer.
"Hmm, a thief. And by your own words, a very good thief, no, the best thief there is. Let me see. You're not, per se, associated with David's brother, are you?"
"Oh, no, no, no. Pardon my language, but that filthy scoundrel was a no-good, petty thief. Let me give you a hint. I never steal for pleasure, that would be selfish and unrighteous. I steal in order to give to those in need."
"Ahh, see? That's where you and I are different, mate. You steal to give, but I steal to keep." He looked him over. Once, then twice. "And I always get what I want."
Robin shifted uneasily.
"Alright, enlighten me." said Hook.
"Enough." said Regina, irritated. "Quit wasting my time. Let's skip the formalities. Hook, this is Robin. Robin, Hook."
Robin outstretched his hand, waiting for Hook to do the same. Hook smiled and shook his hand, but once he saw the lion tattoo on his arm, he squinted his eyes.
"Huh, the band of merry men, I've heard about you."
"Good things, I hope." Robin said, smiling, showing a set of pure white teeth, shinier than the most beautiful pearl that Hook's ever seen.
Regina motioned for both men to take a seat.
"So, you're probably wondering why I've called you two here. I-"
"You want us to steal something for you." Hook said.
"Wow, for a pirate, you're not as dimwitted as I thought." Regina said. "Well yes, I need you to steal something from Zelena."
"You know there's a reason why they call her the Wicked Witch, right?" Robin said, a little nervous.
"What's wrong, mate? Can't handle a wee las?"
Robin smiled, "No, no, it's just-"
"Then this little adventure shouldn't be a problem." Hook said, patting him on the back.
Robin chuckled, nervously. "Yeah, right."
"Carry on then, luv. What do you need us to steal?"
"Her heart."
"Hmm, seems like an ideal plan if one exhibited suicidal tendencies." said Hook.
"I know you can do it, both of you. Storybrooke's finest thieves, working together."
"Alright then. Let's quit this dilly-dallying and go steal us a heart. Come on, mate."
Robin's face was pale. "Are you sure you know what you're doing?" Robin asked.
"I'ma pirate, of course I know what I'm doing."
"Ok, so what I want you to do is stake her out, find out where she's hiding so you can properly formulate a plan." Regina said.
"Easier said than done." Robin said.
"I don't take too well with cowardice, Robin." Hook said.
"I-I'm not afraid. It's just that I'm rationally aware of the gravity of the situation."
"Well," Hook stood up from the chair; "I guess you don't deserve to be called 'the greatest thief there is'."
He started to make his way towards the door. Hook knew that the only way to get him on board with the mission was by hurting his reputation.
"Nonsense! Hook! Hook!"
Hook had gone outside the door.
"Hook!" Robin said as he followed him.
Regina smiled as both men left her office. She knew that the only way to beat Zelena was by having something unexpected happen. Zelena knows everyone within Storybrooke, including who their partners are. What better way to have an advantage than by creating one? After all, true love comes in any form, doesn't it?