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Chrom tossed and turned in his cot. They had a long march tomorrow, and it wouldn’t do well to start with little rest, but he just couldn’t find enough peace to sleep. The campaign had been weighing on him for weeks, and he thought he would feel some reprieve– no matter how brief– after Gangrel’s defeat. He missed Emmeryn more than he could put into words, and the final blow in Gangrel’s chest felt like a hollow victory since it didn’t bring her back– nothing could. The war was over, but there was still so much work to do. When he returned to Ylissitol he would have to prepare to ascend the throne and become Exalt, a task he was woefully unprepared for and dreading. Chrom wasn’t ready to bear the weight of the halidom. He had been neglecting his studies, and didn’t know the full scope of work being the Exalt entailed. He didn’t have Emmeryn’s patience and persistence when it came to negotiating and refusing to give ground to advisers and nobles. Chrom didn’t know what to do, and they would no doubt take advantage of this. To make matters worse, the council would no doubt still be shaken by Emmeryn’s fall and insist he marry and have an heir just in case disaster fell upon the royal line again.
It couldn’t be Lissa because of how young she was and well, they were unsure as to whether her child would bear the brand or not. Chrom didn’t see that as an issue, but there would be an outrage from at least the nobles. She was also too young to marry right now, but maybe in a few years she’d tie the knot with Maribelle. Even so, Chrom didn’t know how much time the council was willing to give him or whether they would consider a Lissa’s potential child a worthy heir to the throne. He was afraid that the council would force him to carry a child himself. The thought made his skin crawl. He now felt himself worried sick with the possibility that the council would only accept him as a possible source of heirs. Chrom felt the pit grow in his stomach as he thought about how this also meant he couldn’t marry Robin. He had held infatuations for men and women and courted briefly, but the feelings he felt for Robin had grown so much in the past months that he couldn’t imagine marrying anyone else. He was his best friend, the wind at his back, and the sword at his side.
Not that he would even be interested in me anyway.
Chrom turned over again and sighed. He lit the lantern on his nightstand and pulled out a book to read. He didn’t read as often as he should, but it helped him feel tired enough to sleep at night. Luckily, this was a tactical tome that should be dull enough to induce sleep in just a few pages. Unluckily, this was a book Robin had given to him so he would feel less lost in their tactics meetings, and he knew he would probably start thinking about the tactician and loose more sleep. In only a few paragraphs of infantry compositions and formations, his mind wandered to the times where Robin’s hand had brushed against his as they looked over maps. And to the way he laughed when Chrom made terrible puns. And the determination in his voice when he said they’d make it through a battle. And how he had comforted him after Emmeryn’s fall, telling him they were two halves of a greater whole and he’d be there to pull him back up should he fall.
Gods, he felt more awake now, lost in his gay thoughts. He set the book down and sat up, running his hands through his hair, trying to force himself to feel tired. Despite his efforts, his thoughts kept swimming and tangling until he could feel the anxiety in his veins. There was no way reading could help him now. Maybe he could practice some sword drills until he was exhausted. Probably not. That would also cause him to lose more sleep, and the amount of physical activity he needed to calm down now would cause him to end up sore tomorrow.
Out of options, he reached under his pillow and pulled out one of Robin’s shirts. He found it to be very comforting, even if he did feel guilty having it. He saw the shirt when he was on laundry duty two weeks ago. Robin had a close call with a myrmidon and torn the garment. Chrom thought Robin wouldn’t miss it if it were gone or he’d think someone discarded it or perhaps was mending it, but it was only a few days before he had started asking about it. He felt that keeping the shirt was a silly thing to do, and he should really give it back, but it was so comforting to hold… He really should stop doing this, so Robin could have his shirt back, and he could make sure no one found out about this.
Just one more night, Chrom thought to himself as he sank into the cot again, holding onto the shirt. He pressed the soft cotton against his lips and breathed in the scent of firewood and ink that always seemed to cling to Robin. He felt himself relax and it wasn’t long before he drifted off, imagining he was holding Robin close and not just his shirt.
I’ve made a mistake, Robin thought to himself as he checked his pocket watch and realized that it was 2am. The timepiece, had ironically, been a gift from Chrom to help him avoid staying up too late. Robin had meant to just organize his papers a bit, so it would be easier to pack up his desk in the morning, but one thing led to another, and now he was trying to plan out the rest of their march back to Ylissitol. The route along the Longfort would be safer from possible Risen attacks, but the cold would be very taxing, especially since it would be a longer route. We just ended this war, everyone deserves a break. Going through Plegia would be much faster, but gods I’m so tired of sand, and I’m sure no one wants the Ylissian army to stay here much longer… I’ve been focusing on this too much to think clearly.
He knew he needed to clear his mind somehow if he was going to sleep at all. Maybe a walk around camp would help. I could probably also discuss this with however’s on watch. Robin slipped on his cloak and pulled on his boats, hoping the cool night air would ease his mind. The camp was dimly lit by a few lanterns and the central campfire. The stars were beautiful, almost familiar. That was probably just because they had been in Plegia for so long. He walked around camp, enjoying the stillness and peace. As he approached the campfire, he saw that Stahl had fallen asleep, using a cloak as a makeshift pillow. He should really wake him up, but Stahl had been so tired these past few days, and he looked so peaceful. Robin was already awake, he might as well take over the night watch. He should get Stahl a proper pillow and blanket first. He gave Stahl a pat on the head before walking over to the supply tent. It only took a few minutes of rummaging through crates to find a decent pillow and blanket. While leaving the tent, he saw a light lit within Chrom’s tent. Chrom’s awake! I could go over to talk about routes and see how he’s doing before joining Stahl.
He approached Chrom’s tent, smiling a little too broadly at the prospect of chatting with his best friend and crush. Chrom’s kindness and willing to help others was so warm, and his conviction and how true he was to himself made his heart flutter. Robin had tried to keep himself in check, remain at a friendly distance. He was a nobody found lying in a field, and even if Chrom cared little for station or birth, the crown prince of the realm simply couldn’t be with a Plegian amnesiac he’d found in the mud. They had been at war for several months, and their responsibilities had to be to the soldiers they lead first, not to each other. But the war had ended, and it was unlikely that Chrom would be able to lead the Shepherds as Exalt so maybe… But Chrom didn’t see him as anything more than a friend anyway. It was best to remain at this distance to try to spare his own feelings. Or at least he tried to. One night after a horrific nightmare he could barely remember, Robin decided to walk around camp and avoid sleep as best he could. Chrom had found him and sat with him, comforting him. He had offered to share tents with him if it could possibly ease his nightmares, and even thought Robin craved that intimacy, he firmly declined, afraid of complicating things and falling deeper into his own longing for the prince. But, since Emmeryn’s death, he had comforted and supported Chrom several times, late at night, and on a few occasions, held him close to try to ease his sobs. His heart skipped more beats in the past few weeks than he would’ve preferred, but he couldn’t help but love the feeling.
This isn’t going to last, he told himself. You’re more than happy for his friendship, that’s all this will ever be. Robin took a moment to still his swirling gay emotions before stepping close to the tent flap and calling out “Chrom? It’s Robin. May I discuss something with you?”
A muffled “Yeah” came out before he heard the creak of Chrom’s cot. Robin took this as his invitation and stepped into the tent. He saw that Chrom was asleep, tangled in his blankets with his hair splayed out on his pillow. He had forgotten to blow out his lantern. It wouldn’t do well to burn excess oil, Robin thought to himself as he walked over to Chrom’s nightstand. Before blowing out the lantern, he took a few minutes to stare warmly at Chrom’s sleeping form. He was mumbling in his sleep and he even mumbled Robin’s name a few times. His cheeks warmed when he heard that, and he couldn’t help but smile fondly at the sleeping prince. Chrom tossed and turned again, mumbling something about oranges before opening his eyes and sleepily saying “Robin?”
Robin froze as he heard this, caught staring. His mind started to race— shit fuck Chrom caught me watching him sleep!! But! I can just say that I thought he was awake because his lantern was on and I was going to turn it off for him because that’s what I was doing, right? Totally not creepy! We’re just friends, we’re just friends, we—
“Robin, what’re you doing up so late?” His eyelids were drooping with sleep, and the light of the lantern made his blue eyes shine. Those eyes looked over him fondly and widened when he saw the blanket and pillow he was carrying. “Did you have another nightmare, Robin? Here, there should be enough room for you here” he said as he scooched over and patted an empty space for Robin. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Oh my gods this is happening oh my gods. The look of concern on Chrom’s face was almost enough to melt his resolve, but he held firm. Or at least he tried to as he started to ramble. “Chrom! No, I, uhh, I didn’t have a nightmare, that’s not why I’m here! I just, umm, got carried away with work again, and I thought I’d go on a walk to calm myself and then I saw Stahl had fallen asleep on watch, so I thought I might as well get him some proper bedding and take up the watch myself, since I’m already up you know. Everyone’s been working so hard, they deserve a break.”
“You also deserve a break too, Robin. You’ve been carrying this army for monthes.” Chrom said as he sat up.
“I can rest when we get to Ylissitol haha… Ummm, anyway that’s part of why I’m here! I saw your light was on and thought you were awake and wanted to talk to you about routes back to the capital—“ Chrom’s face fell at the mention of Ylissitol and returning home. Robin’s hurried rambling abrupty stopped and he asked, softly, “Is something wrong, Chrom?”
“No, it’s fine, I—“ Chrom cut off as he stared at his shaking hands. Every nerve in his body was screaming that he shouldn’t do this, he should remain at a friendly distance, but Robin sat down on the cot with him and put a hand on his shoulder.
“What’s bothering you, Chrom? Do you want to talk about it?” Robin said, softly, turning his gaze to Chrom’s.
Chrom wiped his eyes and tried to still his shaky breathing. Robin felt his heart constrict at the sight of his friend so distressed. It was a few moments before Chrom spoke. “It’s just… everything. It all feels too overwhelming. Em’s—“ His voice broke, and Robin rubbed his back, trying to comfort him. “Em’s gone.” Chrom started breaking into sobs, and Robin pulled him in for a hug “I miss her so much. I-I should have been able to do something”
“It’s not your fault Chrom. She… she made her choice to- to protect you and Lissa. I can’t begin to understand what it feels like for you, but I miss her too. She was a wonderful and kind person. She didn’t deserve what happened to her. She loved you, and she- she knew you can keep moving forward.” Robin said, now running his fingers through Chrom’s hair. He had no memories of consoling people before Emmeryn’s death, and he felt like he was fumbling, but Chrom hugged him back, tightly and his sobbing seemed to calm down.
“Y-you’re right, Robin… Thanks…” After a few minutes, Chrom spoke again, voice still weak. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to be Exalt. I don’t have the experience or patience Em did, I never expected to be in this position. I-I can’t carry the halidom, I’m, I’m going to falter and I- I’m afraid I’m going to fail, Robin. The council will want an heir, and… I’m afraid the council… they’re going to force me to marry and carry it” Chrom’s voice was shaking and dropped to barely above a whisper.
“Chrom… You don’t have to go into this alone. I’m here for you, the Shepherds, we all are. Maribelle, Frederick, and I can help you figure out what to do and help you with your work. We’re your friends, we’re here to support you. Like I said, you don’t have to be just like Em… just stay true to yourself. If you fall, I’ll be here to pick you back up. As for the council, we’ll all be here to stand by you. Lissa and Maribelle are probably going to get married in a few years, so the council should be satisfied there… If all else fails, you can simply refuse to ascend the throne if they try to force you to do that, right?”
“Y-yeah… that should work.” Chrom said, voice a little stronger. “T-thank you. Robin. For everything. I’m so glad to have met you. I don’t know what I would do without you” He hugged Robin tighter and rested his head in the crook of his neck. His crying slowly stopped.
“I’ll always be here for you Chrom. You’re my best friend.” Robin said. Now that Chrom was feeling better, Robin felt the exhaustion of the long day start to catch up with him, and he leaned on Chrom in their embrace. They sat like that for a few minutes, taking comfort in the other’s touch. Robin stared at the cot for a little bit, before seeing something familiar half hidden among the blankets. “Chrom? Is that my shirt?”
Chrom flinched and quickly moved out of the embrace, sitting back and attempting to hide the stolen garment. “What? Your shirt? Why, why would that be here?” Chrom said, trying and failing to act casually.
“I don’t know, Chrom, but I’m pretty sure I saw it. I did lose a shirt a week or two ago.” Robin thought about pressing him more because the thought of Chrom stealing one of his shirts to sleep with made his heart race with hope. But, Chrom just broke down, as much as he wanted to know if his feelings were returned, he didn’t want Chrom to be stressed out more if that wasn’t actually the case. His shirt probably just got lost in the laundry and was accidentally put in Chrom’s pack, and he’s just embarrassed now. Robin started to get up and said “But if you’re sure, I’ll look elsewhere. It’s getting pretty late, I should let you rest, we have a long—“
“Wait, Robin!” Chrom said and grabbed his hand. Robin looked at him quizzically and tried to ignore the heat rising to his cheeks. Chrom looked panicked and flustered and seemed to be attempting to say something but could only get out a mix of umm’s and stutters. Robin waited, his own brain starting to short circuit. Finally, Chrom managed to collect himself enough to speak coherently. “I… ummm, your shirt is here” he said and untangled it from the blankets. He held it up, and sure enough, it was the shirt that had torn and gone missing. “I, ummm…” he broke eye contact, obviously staring at the tent walls behind Robin. Robin knew him well enough to know this meant Chrom was trying to come up with a lie to cover something mildly embarrassing, and Chrom must’ve known that Robin knew this because he sighed and turned his gaze closer to Robin. He rubbed his free hand on the back of his neck as he said “I stole your shirt, Robin.”
Now Robin’s brain really started to malfunction. He said nothing, trying to process what Chrom just said and what this could mean.
Chrom, having worked up the courage to say this, continued talking. “I thought you wouldn’t notice or wouldn’t miss it, so I took it. It was so soft and smelled like you, and it’s… really comforting to hold… Robin,” Chrom stopped rubbing his neck and turned to look him in the eye, placing his free hand onto Robin’s. “Robin, I know this is sudden, and if you don’t want any of this, that’s fine and we can just forget about all of this and be friends! I just, I can’t keep this in any longer.” Chrom took a few, almost comically loud deep breathes as Robin held his breathe in anticipation.
“Robin, at first I thought of you as an ally, then a comrade, and finally a friend, one of my best friends in fact. I’ve felt the bonds between us grow stronger and stronger and it wasn’t very long until I realized… I’m in love with you, Robin. Like I said, if you don’t feel the same way or don’t want to talk about this ever again, I’m more than ok with that! We’ll always be friends! That I promise. I just, needed to tell you this.”
CHROM FEELS THE SAME WAY?!?!? Robin was internally screaming until he started feeling dizzy from holding his breath for so long. He wavered and fell rather gracelessly onto Chrom. Chrom wasn’t expecting this and fell back, with Robin on top of him. After catching his breath and trying to process the flurry of emotions in his heart, Robin squeaked out “you are?”
“Since the very first moment I laid eyes on you, I just didn’t realize it until the last few months.” Chrom said almost breathlessly.
Oh my gods even if this is real? It can’t go anywhere can it?Robin tried to focus his thoughts and chocked out “We-we can’t. Be together, I mean. I’m just a Plegian nobody with a probably sketchy past that you just found in the mud. You, you’re the prince of Ylisse and my commander, I’m your tactician. We, we can’t follow our hearts here… can we?”
“OUR hearts?” Chrom said, a little loudly.
“Yes…” Robin felt himself lose the battle of wills inside him. He smiled as he fondly stared into Chrom’s eyes before saying “Because I love you as well. I have for a very long time”
“You do? But that’s… that’s wonderful!! You said it yourself, if the council won’t let us be together, then I’ll refuse to ascend the throne. The people will love you Robin, you carried us through and ended this war” Chrom laughed with happiness as he pulled Robin closer into an embrace. “This is the best day of my life! Robin listen to me, you, you’re like the wind at my back, and the sword at my side. Together, my love, we’ll build a peaceful world, just you and me.”
Robin chuckled at Chrom’s dramatic words before sitting up a bit and cupping his face. Robin smiled broadly, eyes crinkling, as he asked “May I?” Chrom all but jumped up into their first kiss. The kiss was tender, and Chrom’s lips were soft, if a little chapped. Chrom’s hands moved to hold Robin’s back and trace little circles with his thumbs. They broke their first kiss, smiling at each other with all the warmth of the sun. Chrom unceremoniously yawned, and Robin chuckled at this. “It is rather late, isn’t it? We should get what sleep we can,” Robin said and moved to get up.
“Do you want to sleep here?” Chrom said as he placed his hand on Robin’s arm.
“If you would have me, I would love to.” Robin said, leaning down to kiss Chrom’s forehead. He moved to take off his cloak and boots and caught a glimpse of Chrom’s beaming face. He lied down on the cot, and Chrom took him up in his arms, snuggling him and kissing the top of his head. “Does this mean I can have my shirt back?” Robin asked teasingly as he snaked his arms around Chrom.
“Of course. I can even try to fix it for you, or, er maybe not, I probably wouldn’t do much of a good job”
“I would love for you to. How good it looks doesn’t matter as long as it’s done by you” Robin said as he drifted off to sleep.
Chrom with his heart full of warmth, could only smile fondly at the shorter man, sleeping peacefully in his arms, as he fell asleep.