Chapter Text
After that whole encounter with Sendak, trying to help a Galra base and dying for a solid minute, Lance has been more shaken up than ever.
Yes, most of the time, he feels pretty down, Hunk is always off with Pidge, Shiro hangs out with Lotor and Allura, even Coran goes about and talks with them all, but as of late, he feels like he has no place with them. He feels like a third wheel's third wheel.
Wait, can third wheels even have third wheels? Does that imply that the third wheel got another fourth wheel where the previously mentioned 'third wheel' third wheels? Does that make a third wheel's third wheel actually the fifth wheel? But he called himself the seventh wheel that other time with the yupper. Alright, now he's contradicting himself. To be the seventh wheel.. that makes him a third wheel's third wheel's third wheel if his math is right. This is too complicated. He just feels lonely and out of place to put it simply.
Any time he wants to vocalize a problem he has, he gets shut down before he says anything. Why bother at all. Occasionally, Hunk would ask him whats wrong, offer food, do something, but he's too busy running experiments now to bother with someone like Lance.
Its been harder the more time goes on. Everything is becoming more and more obvious to Lance that he's not really needed. No one seems to care that he misses lunch or dinner, nor do they notice when he has been in the training facility all day long. He has nothing to do and no one to talk to.
The only person he ever once confided in without being judged was Keith and now even he is gone.
The paladin recalls the day he walked into his room, worrying about his role in the red lion, ready to leave as soon as he was rendered useless. Shiro was back and he would take back the black lion, making Keith the red paladin again, but Lance couldn't take blue back because Allura was better with blue than he could ever be. Keith had told him not to think too much about it, everything would sort itself out. It was the one time that he felt sorta better about anything and wasn't judged for his fears. It hurt to know that he can't have another moment like that again.
Lance sighed as he stared down to his feet dangling off the edge of his bed. He died and no one cares. Allura saved him, but it was more like a chore than it was because she cared. They just need someone to pilot the red lion so they can form Voltron and now that he's up and running again, none of it matters.
Whats the point of getting out of bed today?
They all have their things to do. No one wants to bother with annoying loverboy Lance and his irritating antics.
It was too exhausting to put on his usual façade today anyway. Jumping around, cracking jokes, flirting with any alien girl they encountered - today was just not going to be a good day and all he wanted to do was hide in his room.
After everything that has been happening, this is how Lance has been spending most of his free time. For months. Hours on end just staring at a blank wall, watching the ticks go by. Counting each varga off the Altaen clock and waiting for another day to start.
The only time he likes to leave the comfort of his room is to practice training or to eat. Its always a hassle, though. He needs to remember to act carefree and supply his usual amount of one liners to make sure no one can see through the cracks in the mask he wears.
It isn't until one day while deciding to play Monsters and Mana do things start to change.
Footsteps sounded from the hallway leading to the lounge, giving Lance an odd feeling. Pidge and Hunk were off doing science stuff in their rooms while the rest of them were playing the game. There was no one else that could be wandering the halls. Before he was able to come up with an explanation for it, the doors opened.
A built, lean figure took a step forward, wearing a uniform belonging to the Blade of Marmora.
"Keith!" Shiro was the first one to call out, jumping up out of his seat to pull his brother into a hug. Keith chuckled, waving to everyone with a free hand.
The others joined in on the hug. Coran called the missing two over and they all were in a giant clump of people. Everyone was all there, well except Lance. They didn't notice him slip out of the lounge, ready to head back to his room. He just felt really out of place, wanting to stay out of the way. He stayed in his room until a Galra attack the next day.
They went out, formed Voltron, Keith giving them backup in his own ship, and then they returned back to eat dinner. Lance skipped out again, opting to practice some training techniques and doing something productive.
"Start training, level three sequence" he stated firmly, pulling out his bayard.
He went on for hours, alone except for the bots that would never stop coming "Level five!" he shouted, wanting nothing more than to be at least half as strong as any of his teammates.
Bots would surround him while the drones shot at him. One would throw him down, the other attack, and another would keep him pinned down as more shot at him. It didn't matter how many bruises, scratches or cuts he got, all Lance wanted was to be stronger.
Maybe if he was stronger, they would care
His arms ached and his head was pounding, making it hard to stop the waves of enemies.
Maybe if he was better, they would notice you
They had gotten his back, now hitting him from behind while even more were coming from the front.
If you could do something right for once, they would like you!
"End training" he bites out, panting from exhaustion with tears that are threatening to spill.
He sits there on the floor for another few dobashes until he pushed back all the bad thoughts in his head. With a steadying breath, Lance pulls himself up. He limps slightly to his room, wiping away a single tear that falls down his cheek, both frustrated with himself and everything around him. Its about 4:30 am when he finally fell asleep, giving into the welcoming ease of unconsciousness.