Chapter Text
Claire
I knew I was in trouble when he moved in. I had known somewhere deep inside, that sharing an apartment with Jamie Fraser was going to be a problem. But, I had needed the help to pay the rent and he was the only suitable person who met my obscene standards.
He was clean, respectful, and didn’t mind my coming and going at odd hours. He was a hard worker, Adso loved him, and all the references on his application had stellar reviews about him. He was also extremely charming and good-looking. I had started to fall for him the moment he came over for a tour of the apartment, though, I hadn’t wanted to admit it to anyone- let alone myself.
The problem was, I was with Frank, and he had a girlfriend—But Jamie Fraser was my best friend, and that was all.
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“Bloody hell.” I said rather loudly as I stumbled into the apartment—the bag of groceries falling to the floor and my backpack sliding off my shoulder. “Oh… Fuck!”
The few bits of groceries I had gotten at Tesco rolled around the entry way and I shook my jacket off placing my keys on the table, picking up the contents one by one.
I smelled the scent of steak coming from the kitchen as a warm, friendly, Scottish voice bellowed from within. “Och, seems like someone had a long day?”
“Of course I did. My twelve hour shift turned into a nineteen hour rendezvous full of the University’s finest rugby players: stitches, broken fingers and collar bones, and concussions!” Grocery contents in hand, I walked into the kitchen placing them on the counter. “This smells, divine. God you’re like coming home to a personal housekeeper.”
Jamie- my Scottish best friend and roommate- laughed as he rolled his eyes, plating my dinner on the counter. “It is pretty much what I am. Definitely the best roommate you’ve ever had.”
I came up behind him, grabbing a piece of the veggies with my fingers. I almost wrapped my arms around his waist but stopped just sort.
He’s not yours, Beauchamp.
He slapped them out of my hand. “Manners, Sassenach.”
“Come on, Fraser. You know how hungry I am by the end of a day like today.”
“Aye, I do. Which is why I made yer favorite: steak with asparagus- and French bread from the little corner bakery down the road.”
My stomach growled in response as he set the plates down on the table. I reached for my fork and hastily took a bite. My mouth full and food half chewed I spoke utter gratitude towards him, “Oh my god I love you.”
“Dinna be chewin’ while her tryna talk to me!” Jamie said as he diligently cut his steak. “Ye canna be going on dates with the Professor while ye have bad habits like this!”
“Ugh… Frank.” I said, shoving my mouth with another bite.
“What did he do today?” Jamie asked, the small curiosity appearing at the small raise of his brows. I thought he didn’t even know he wasn’t be subtle.
I shrugged my shoulders and chewed for a moment. Truth be told, Frank didn’t really do nothing wrong- he was doing everything right. He was professional, handsome in a scholarly way, well educated, and intellectually on my level. He took me to nice restaurants, held the door open for me, and was rather fond of me.
I however, liked the idea of him- but bared no feelings other than the hope he would fill the small void inside of me.
“It’s not him,” I started as I shook my head and ran my hand over my face. “I think it’s me.”
“What do ye mean, Sassenach?”
“I…. I don’t know.” I stated rather honestly. “It’s just after the other guy- the one from before you moved in. Frank’s doing everything right and I just feel distant.”
Jamie took another bite and sat back in his chair, crossing his arms, his blue eyes gazing with his all too familiar, “Tell me more” stare.
“Bastard.” I whispered, but continued. “He’s doing everything right- calling me his girlfriend, opening the doors for me, giving me the space I told him I need. But it’s like when he doesn’t text me good morning I get pissed, when he tells me he has plans with his friend the Reverend but doesn’t invite me I get mad too. I told him we both needed our own lives and we’d figure out how to blend them together but any time he tries- I shut down.”
“Andrew broke yer heart Claire. I didn’t know the man, but I saw ye after… It’s no’ a surprise ye need to find a balance again with yer heart. I ken I am verra biased towards ye…” Jamie said, his accent strong on the tip of his tongue, “But ye are a wonderful woman, Claire. Any man would be lucky to court ye.”
“Court me? God, you sound like an eighteenth century Highlander.” I laughed at his statement- yes he was right, he was always right.
Andrew Macintosh had broken my heart. Jamie had moved in two days after I found out he had been cheating on me- and Jamie, the wonderful human he was, had given me a week’s worth of ice cream and comedy movies to watch. He was there to be my shoulder to cry on—and even let me throw things at the wall in anger, laughing at me telling me we would most definitely not be getting our security deposit back. I had laughed at him. It was from that night with him-after smashing all the plates in my cabinets in anger- I should have known.
“Enough about me. How are things with Mary?” I asked taking my last bite and pushing my plate forward.
“Oh…. The lass is bonny enough.” Jamie responded, standing and gathering the plates and walking over to the sink. “She seems to like me enough, though, she’s no’ so obsessed wi’ me like Laoghaire had been.”
I laughed as I remember the days of Laoghaire- the blonde Scottish lass that Jamie had been casually seeing when he moved in. They had been set up by his sister, Jenny, but Laoghaire- or Leg Hair-as I liked to call her.My pronunciation on Gaelic names was horrid and Jamie never let me live it down- had been obsessive. I had never liked the girl, and hated how much she was obsessed with him. He was my Scot. She left three to four voicemails a day, always calling or texting his cell, and showing up at all hours of the night.
“After Leg Hair… You need a bit a normal in your life.”
“I suppose ye are right.” Jamie turned the faucet on, drowning the silence between us, washing the plates.
“It’s my turn for dishes and you’re still doing them.” I huffed as I walked up and elbowed him in the side.
“Ye are tired, Sassenach. Go soak in the tub with yer little bath bomb things and call it a night, I’ll finish up.” I smiled and shook my head in defeat as I accepted his offer.
“You are the best person ever! I’ll see you tomorrow! Goodnight, roomie.” I offered my farewell to him- the word roomie, a small reminder to myself, not for him, he wasn’t mine and I wasn’t his.
There was no us.
There was Frank. And there was Mary.
We were best friends. We were roommates.
But could there ever be?
“Goodnight, Sassenach.”
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The water was warm on my skin and the floral scents from the bath bomb filled my senses.
I ran my fingers over my face as I saw my phone light up on the edge of the tub.
Call me when you’re home. Let’s make plans for Friday night.
Frank’s message burned in the back of my eyes as I slid myself under the water trying to ignore the fact, I was in love with my best friend.