Chapter Text
It wasn’t the first time she’d fallen through a rift. Quite the opposite really. There were a few obvious, and critical difference this time however. The first, most obvious but only observed later, being she didn’t have the Anchor on her hand. The second, and immediately unmistakable, being she’d always landed on solid ground in the past. Not, as was painfully obvious this time, on top of a rage demon.
She hadn’t even been truly aware of her fire resistances in the past, or the difference even her most simple leather armour had made. The simple clothes she wore now however were absolutely no match, quickly catching and engulfing her legs in searing pain.
She couldn’t even roll to try extinguish the flames since, having fallen off the rage demon, she was now in its wake where the earth still burned. She had no sooner cried out in agony than both she and the rage demon were engulfed in ice. On one hand, at least she was no longer on fire. On the other, this was ridiculous.
She was the Inquisitor, leader of the Inquisition…wasn’t she? Even as she had the thought, it was as though multiple lifetimes passed before her eyes. A Dalish mage, a noble rogue, a Dalish warrior…and half a life as a noble Tranquil? They were the freshest, the hardest to bare, so it was easy to ignore the other two for now.
And then all thoughts of being Inquisitor were blown away as the demon collapsed in front of her and a tell-tale tendril of green came from somewhere behind it. She knew the sound so well that even though she couldn’t move to look up, she knew the rift above her had just been pulled closed.
The ice around her thawed, but she was still freezing, unable to stop her body from shivering violently. It was with great relief that she recognized the man trotting towards her, though he didn’t appear as happy to see her.
“Hold up, we have a survivor over here,” Varric called over his shoulder. Glancing behind him, he shook his head grumbling, “No, it’s fine I’ll take care of it, you go on ahead without me.” Turning back to face her, he tried to put on a slightly more reassuring face. “Hey there champ, how you holding up?”
“V-v-v,“ she tried to get his name out, but the shivering was too much.
“Very cold, straight to the point. I can work with that,” he said, pulling his pack around and finding a blanket within it. He pulled it around her tightly before holding a healing potion to her lips. “This…won’t fix everything,” he said with a subconscious glance to her legs, “but it should help…at least until we get back to Haven.”
She choked on the last of the potion. “Haven?” she spluttered.
He cocked a brow at her. “Yeah. That’s where we’re headed. We’ll get you to a healer first, then people may have some questions for you.” He looked her over for a long moment. “You may want to come up with a story on the way,” he told her.
If they had been headed anywhere but Haven, she felt she could have managed a smile. He didn’t know her, but he saw something in her, something that wanted her to get past…oh Maker, what was she supposed to say to Cassandra and Leliana? It wasn’t like she could prove her worth by helping close the Breach.
And then another horrifying thought. How long would it be until they would close the Breach and Haven would fall?
~~~
“Just let me speak to Lel for a moment would you,” she growled, trying to hobble her way from Adan’s home to the small tent where she knew Leliana would be.
He glared at her fiercely, both trying to holt her progress while also not wanting to manhandle her and thus be forced to reapply her bandages…again. “You may speak with whomever you wish once you’ve taken time to rest and heal!” he growled back at her. “As I’ve already told you, we don’t have Elfroot to spare. Given the extent of your injuries---”
“Yes, yes, no healing for days, maybe weeks. Need to talk to Lel now,” she reiterated. She didn’t need him to tell her that her legs needed time to heal. She could feel the damage with every step. She was in a cold sweat already and she’d walked for barely a couple of minutes, the few steps she’d walked up making her legs burn and nearly buckle beneath her.
But this wasn’t her world, this wasn’t her Inquisition, and Maker if Adan thought it would take more than a week for her legs to heal even if they had the supplies to spare, then she wasn’t surviving the trip to Skyhold. All she had left was saving as many people in Haven, as many of her friends as she could, if only to witness as little death and destruction as possible in her last hours. She gritted her teeth and forced herself to not look to her left, where even from here she could hear the soldiers training. That was a place best left untouched.
Leliana looked up surprised as she came to a halt at the entrance of her tent, panting a little as she placed her hand on the pole there, resting her forehead on it to try cool it a little.
“Sister Leliana, perhaps you can speak sense into the---” he cut himself off before saying the word ‘prisoner’. She knew that’s what she was, even if they hadn’t had time to question her as yet. At this very moment, Cassandra, Sera, Vivienne and the Herald were on their way to close the Breach. They didn’t have time to determine her innocence or guilt, and she didn’t have time to spare herself.
“Lel,” she took a breath, trying to not flinch back at the cold look the nickname received. This wasn’t personal, Leliana just didn’t know her. “Sister Leliana, I must speak with you…privately preferably,” she glanced towards the healer.
He gave her a suspicious look before turning back to Leliana. Leliana just waved him away. It’s not like she could be considered even a marginal threat given her condition and Leliana’s skills.
Once he left, Leliana leaned against her desk, crossing her arms as she indicated the unknown woman should take her chair.
She would have preferred to stand, and would probably have insisted, had her legs not already been jelly and threatening to collapse beneath her.
“We have not yet been formally introduced, though clearly you know who I am,” Leliana began, her tone formal yet lulling, a voice she often used to goad information out without obvious pressure. The question didn’t even need to be spoken to be understood.
“I’m Evelyn Ellana,” she spoke, the two names colliding in her mind though coming out one after the other, much to both women’s mild confusion.
“Evelyn Ellana? That’s…an unusual name. May---”
“I’m sorry Lel…Sister Leliana. At another time I would gladly answer all your questions, but we don’t have the time…except I do need you to trust me implicitly,” she said the last as she realized it. This wasn’t her dear friend Lel who she could discuss anything and know the other woman would understand and wouldn’t question the honesty of whatever she may say. Instead she was a complete stranger, talking to someone whose job it was to not trust strangers.
“Okay, small steps,” she licked her lips. “Please call me Ellana, I’d prefer not to be called Evelyn at the moment…I’m…Oh Maker how to explain this,” she puffed out a breath. “Alright, if you were my Leliana, you’d trust me, so I’m going to act as though that’s who you are.”
Leliana’s face barely changed, but Ellana knew it was that of surprise well hidden.
“This isn’t my world, that is it is but…wait, you sided with the Mages right?” she asked as it occurred to her, to which she received only a small nod. “Then it’s almost like Redcliff, but instead of going forward or back, it was like a sideways jump…well forward and sideways…or is it back and sideways? Either way, my world is so like this world in every way…well except the somewhat vain sounding part in that I’m the Herald in my world.”
This time the surprise wasn’t as well hidden.
“I know it sounds crazy, but in my world you and I are friends, great friends even…and I’m also a lot further through fighting Corypheus than you.”
“Coryhpeus?” Leliana asked.
Shit. “Oh right…umm yes, you’ll be finding that out later today. Sorry.” Shit, shit, shit. “Look, to be frank I’m not likely to survive very long here, not with these injuries, not now. All I want is to help as many people escape Haven as possible, and I need your help to do that.”
“You can understand why---”
“Yes, I could be a spy or…no I don’t really know what else. I always left dealing with this sort of thing up to you,” Ellana frowned. She took a deep breath not sure this would end with Leliana trusting her or locking her away in a cell somewhere. “You once told me your whole life changed through finding a white rose on a dead bush...you even let me know some had questioned you whether it was real or made up. I still believe what I did then – whether it happened or not doesn’t matter, your belief in it changed your life, I think for the better. Your beliefs are the most precious thing to you, and they are what help guide you to change the world.”
Leliana just stared at her for a long time, so long in fact that Ellana balled her hands into fists and bit her cheek to stop herself from moving or speaking until the Spymaster was ready. Her heart was pounding so loudly she wasn’t even sure she would hear Leliana speak over it.
And then she did. “What must be done?”
Ellana was suddenly lightheaded with giddiness and had to forcefully stop herself from jumping up and hugging the other woman, though words tumbled from her lips as she swiped away tears of joy, “Oh I do love you, Lel,” which earned a raised brow.
Taking a few deep breaths to calm down and collect her thoughts, no easy feat at the moment. “Right, you’ve called in your agents, right?”
Leliana tilted her head, somewhat beyond being surprised at this point.
“Right…good. That was the right thing to do by the way,” she added, remembering the talk they would have later…that Leliana would still have with this world’s Inquisitor later. “Your agents are our people. Their lives are worth more than a small window of time that wouldn’t have helped us anyway.” She tapped the arm of the chair.
“We can’t have panic spread…trebuchets, villagers, supplies, Chantry,” she listed off the things in her head aloud. “First tell Cu…Commander Rutherford we’ll be doing trebuchet training tomorrow all going well. Maker knows he obsesses with recalibrating them enough, he’ll jump at the excuse to use them." She didn’t meet Leliana’s eyes just then, knowing she had caught the slip in the name. "Tell him it’ll be a good way for the soldiers here to keep their mind off what’s going on at the Temple. They can prepare all the ammunition, stockpile it close to the trebuchets ready for ‘the morning’.”
To her credit, Leliana immediately penned a message and signalled one of her messengers to take it for her. “What else?” she asked.
~~~
Ellana lay back with a sigh of contentment in her cot set up in the Chantry, much to Adan’s relief.
“Finally,” he gave a half-reprimand, though eased by the mug of ale he held. “It’ll be a few days before you should be up and walking properly, if we can send someone out to collect some Elfroot and other bits and pieces. But you’ve got a nice spot here to enjoy the celebrations from,” he told her.
She smiled and nodded, trying not to think too hard on the next few days.
She’d worked with Leliana on all the details for the afternoon. They had asked that the different crafters and such pack away their key supplies and load them into the prepared wagon near the Chantry ‘in case the worst should occur’. They’d also prepared for the celebration for ‘if’ the Breach was closed, and how to spread word that the Herald wanted them to all celebrate together in the Chantry, being the biggest building in Haven. To that end, it was easy to gather food and drink supplies, and no one would know a large portion of them were packed away in other wagons, ready for the journey ahead.
In this way they would have everyone together in one place when Corypheus’ army was spotted. It would take little to round up stragglers when the Dragon took flight, and with key supplies already packed away, no need to race around collecting anything.
It was all they could do for the time being. Ellana had never seen the path Roderick would take them down, she wasn’t even sure where it began except somewhere toward the back of the Chantry, so they would just have to wait for him to have his turning moment.
All preparations complete, Leliana suggested letting the other advisors know, since the Herald and company were still making their way to the Breach. Ellana advised against it but let Leliana have the final say. They thought it best, all things considered, to just describe Ellana as one of Leliana’s agents who had returned from discovering the army on the way. Leliana for her part, would say the rest of the plans were her way of making the best of a bad situation.
Josie took it well, and even understood they didn’t have time for her to contact nearby allies, since none would even receive word in time left let alone be able to act before Haven was taken.
But of course, Cullen was not as compliant. “Had you told me sooner, my men could have beat them on the pass,” he growled.
“No, they couldn’t,” Ellana spoke, the first words she’d said to him the whole meeting. She couldn’t properly look at him, couldn’t stop her heart from racing or her hands from tingling at his closeness, but had to ignore all of that for his own good.
In turn, he glared back at her. “You don’t know---”
“Yes, I do,” she countered before he got it out in her haste to have this conversation over.
“Well if not that, we could---”
“No, we couldn’t,” she said again.
“You expect me to believe our only option is to sit back and let this Corypheus defeat us?” he spat back.
“He doesn’t defeat us! Yes, we lose Haven, but he loses some of his forces too. He also loses the Breach, so all things considered, it’s a stalemate of a battle, but we go on to fight another day, stronger than before,” she replied.
“For someone who speaks highly of our forces, you certainly don’t act like you think highly of them.”
He was angry, she knew that even before he started the argument. It was somewhere between not telling him earlier so he had a chance to come up with a plan, and his forces being held back, not attacking the oncoming enemy. Ironically enough, her part in it was insubstantial in his annoyance, but that in itself was infuriating to her. Were she the Herald, this wouldn’t even be a discussion. That it was all for their own good just fuelled her own annoyance.
There was a short silence before he said, “We could try---”
And those few words were the last straw. “Maker damn it Cullen, we can’t defeat a fucking archdemon!” She hadn’t realized she’d jumped to her feet, hands slapping on the War Table before she spoke. Her one redeeming thought was at least she’d managed to keep her voice down despite her rage.
But in the silence that followed her statement, she felt the colour drain from her face, noticed the weakness in her legs and remembered why she and Leliana had thought it best not to mention the archdemon. It would be bad enough facing it when it happened, let alone having to think about it unnecessarily for hours beforehand.
“An archdemon?” Josie gasped into the silence.
Ellana whipped away from the table, quickly shooting an apologetic look at Leliana. Again to her credit, the older woman just gave a small shake of her head, ‘It’s okay, there was no getting around it,’ the look seemed to imply.
Ellana moved to the small window, looking out and trying to not see anything, wanting to see neither Haven as it was now nor how it would be later that night. She lost focus in the conversation behind her, letting Leliana quell Josie’s fear and sooth Cullen’s anger. A distinct clearing of a throat brought her back to the conversation.
“Right, thank you for your efforts…” Cullen trailed off, realizing a moment too late that he didn’t know her name.
She simply nodded, it didn’t matter.
He turned to Josie and Leliana. “To work?” And the familiarity of his phrase was so comforting it brought a smile to all three women’s faces.
So here she sat and watched the people of Haven, these few men and women who didn’t know yet that they would soon be the beginning of a much bigger whole. It surprised her how many faces were still familiar. She couldn’t tell you most of their names, but she knew she had seen them often both in Haven and later at Skyhold.
What she wouldn’t give to be in Skyhold now, lying in bed, looking up at the millions of stars above her.
“Thinking on happier times?” Leliana’s soft voice broke her from her daydream.
She smiled at one of her dearest friends. “Something like that,” she murmured. She noticed the small box in Leliana’s hands and knew this was the reason she’d chosen Leliana over all the others. This was something Leliana could understand better than the others could. That she could look at, some might say coldly or cruelly, and see the best course of action for what it was. She took the box, placing it on her lap, her hands folded across it. “Thank you,” she said softly.
Leliana sat down on the edge of the cot. “In your world…are we really so close friends as you say?” she asked almost hesitantly.
Ellana beamed at her, “Oh Maker yes! You’ll see. When you reach…where you’re going,” she quickly changed her words. They’d agreed earlier that it may be better Leliana didn’t know too much. “The number of hours we spent gossiping in my room. Sometimes Josie would bring one of her Antivan bottles of whatever they were. Oh, there were mornings I swore C…the Commander requested early morning meetings just to torment us…or as a revenge for not being invited…now that I think of it,” she added, having not considered the latter before.
She giggled softly. “You were even the one who helped me have the trellises alongside my balcony set up.” At Leliana’s confused look she added, “It made sneaking around so much easier.”
“I think our Herald is not like you,” Leliana said gently.
“Oh, she may not be now, but just wait Lel. You’ll be fast friends, I promise.”
Leliana raised a brow at this but made no comment on it. “If you like, I can ask Josie if we could open one of those Antivan bottles, just for your old times sake?”
~~~
They did share a couple of glasses from one of the bottles. Despite what was to come all too soon now, the three did manage to share a few stories and a few giggles. The time went too quickly, and all too soon a messenger came from Cullen to say the army had been spotted.
Everything happened faster then, probably because she was a little tipsy, though her injuries and lack of healing time probably helped.
The trebuchets were fired much sooner, but they’d followed Cullen’s suggestion to use only the one and not draw attention to the other. It worked, so when the dragon did strike, the second trebuchet was still ready to go.
Ellana saw the large brimmed hat enter the Chantry that marked Cole’s arrival. She knew it wouldn’t be long now before Roderick would have his moment.
For his part, Roderick had faired much the same as he always did. He hadn’t wanted to take part in the celebrations, and so was still in his home when the attacks started, still managing to get attacked by a few stray Templars that had snuck in before the rest of the army’s approach.
In this way she felt his fate was inevitable. Maybe he would never help them if he wasn’t about to die, and so his death was necessary for them to survive?
Either way, he had passed on the information now, and Cullen already had everyone moving before he went back to speak to the Herald.
At this rate they’ll be past the treeline before Corypheus even reaches Haven, Ellana thought with only a hint of bitterness, remembering how long time seemed to stretch waiting for that signal flare.
Her cot had been in view of the celebrations, but still just out of the way enough that no one paid her any mind as they quickly made their way to the path. She knew they were much better organized than before. For a start everyone was through and Cullen hadn’t been by yet. She always remembered him having to herd stragglers as she left the Chantry to face Corypheus, so to this end, her plan had succeeded. Her family were better off, if only a little than had she not been here and she hadn’t needed to watch them be hurt or some killed.
Ellana settled herself more comfortably in the cot, resting her head on the wall behind her. Looking down, she finally opened the small box Leliana had given her earlier. There were just three small vials in it, but that should be more than enough for her purpose.
There was no point trying to fool herself, she hated the burns, hated that they meant she wouldn’t see Skyhold one last time. As extra prepared as they may have been, Ellana knew not everyone that made it out of Haven would make it Skyhold. They had done their best every time, but there were always losses, always those that couldn’t survive the journey. Hopefully the extra time and the extra supplies would make the journey easier, but she wouldn’t put anyone else at risk just so she, the cripple she now was, could see her home once more. It didn’t feel right, especially since this wasn’t her world, she couldn’t put herself above anyone here since they belonged and she did not.
Her plan was to wait until after Haven was buried to drink the first vial.
She was pulled from her thoughts by the sound of shuffling feet. Looking up, she found herself face to face with Cullen, and of course he didn’t look happy to see her.
“What are you still doing here?” he asked, none too pleased.
She stared at him in silence which was suddenly broken by Cole, who was shuffling his feet beside Cullen.
“Vials to help her sleep, the cold will take care of the rest.”