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"I'm sorry Lance...I just...I just don't feel the same way." It was obvious from Allura's posture and the sad look on her face that it was hard for her to say it. They were friends, after all. Teammates working together for so long now. They counted on each other and Allura was scared that her rejection would cause a rift in that bond they had.
Lance's shoulder's dropped just a bit and a sad look crossed his face. Before Allura could say anything, Lance took a deep breath and held one of her hands. When she still wouldn't make eye contact, Lance pulled just a bit, smiling when she finally looked at him. He still looked a little sad. Definitely hurt, but he seemed to brighten with every passing second.
"Thank you. For listening to me. I just...needed to tell you. To make you understand that I was serious. So thank you for taking the time to hear me out and giving me your honest answer. I really appreciate it." He let go of her hand and winked at her, "Well now that that's all said and done, it's my turn to go bond with Red! I'll catch you later, Princess!" He saluted at her, making Allura smile. She sighed a bit in relief as Lance walked away towards the Lions. She was glad to see that he reacted so graciously and though it was clear that he was sad and upset, he didn't once make her feel like it was her fault. Still feeling awkward, but better, Allura made her way to the main deck of the Castle of Lions.
Lance stood in front of Red, waving at it, "You ready for some bonding, Red? Because it's time for us to go out there and have some quality time!" He gave Red the good old classic double pistols and a wink. It almost sounded like Red had sighed at him. Lance laughed before making his way inside. Once situated, he and Red made their way out of the Castle of Lions, "Alright guys, we'll be back in a jiffy!" the transmission to the rest of the crew was short and he was off as soon as it was over.
They hadn't made it very far before Lance felt his heart ache and he took in a shuddering breath, "Whoa there. I'm ok." Red made another noise.
"Ok no, I'm not ok. But I will be and that's not something to...shoot." He grunted as he started to wipe away the moisture from his eyes, "I knew it you know? That she didn't feel the same way. I could tell in our interactions. But I had hoped." Another breath. He blinked away the stinging in his eyes, "Well that's my own fault. For hoping. It's no reason to cry. I've got you, Red. So it's ok!" Another noise from the giant Lion and Lance's tears started to run down his face even he kept wiping them away.
"You don't know until you say something, you know? How can you get a response if you don't say something? So I said something. Because I care about her. But if she doesn't feel the same way, there's nothing for it! But maybe she did? Would? So I catch her while it's just the two of us. We've been getting along so well lately. And I make a joke, get her to actually laugh this time. I smile and it...well it never feels like the perfect time. But it was close." He was crying. The shuddering breaths to help his burning lungs made his words hard to hear, but he was just talking to himself. He didn't know when he had switched to Spanish, but it was fine. It was a good since of normalcy to him. He'd always had someone to talk in his first language to when he was home or at the garrison. But it was different here. "So I tell her. And I don't even need to make her understand that I'm serious. Because she slowly looks away from me, bites her lower lip. And I know. I'm just...me. I'm pretty good looking, sure, but what else? I'm a replaceable part of Voltron. Keith is always number one in your heart, I know Red. And Blue has taken to Allura so well. And who wouldn't? She's great! I'm just...trying. Everyone has their thing. That thing that sets them apart, that makes them shine. Allura is so strong and beautiful and smart and a princess! And I'm just...Lance. I have nothing of value to give in a relationship. I just have me..."
He curled into himself when Red made another noise. Before he knew it he was screaming and sobbing and pulling his arms closer to his chest. His eyes were screwed shut as he shouted with all his might. He felt like he was drowning, couldn't get enough air in, not with all the screaming he was doing. And he couldn't stop, he kept trying to convince himself that he was ok, that was enough. He needed to compose himself. He was out here for a reason. But no matter how much he tried to rationalize with himself, he kept on crying. Sobs ripped out of him so harsh, he felt light headed.
It felt like an eternity before Lance could finally breathe again. His chest hurt, his eyes were swollen, and his face was blotchy. Small, wet hiccups occasionally came out of him when he was finally able to sit back. He looked at the infinite amount of space there was in the distance, trying to focus on his breathing. He was so tired and a bit dizzy. His body felt heavy.
"Sorry Red, this was supposed to be some quality "us" time and here I am ruining it with emotions." He sighed, "I'm not ok, but I will be. Thanks for putting up with me, Red."
Another suspiciously comforting noise from Red made Lance smile and he relaxed further in his seat.
"I'm all yours now."