Chapter Text
Skate Canada, Regina, Saskatchewan Canada
There they were in the final pose and he was certain he’d lost his mind. He’d known...he’d known the feelings existed. Like the professional that he was though, he’d pushed them away and tried to ignore them as much as he could.
But he was failing, and failing dismally as he stayed in that position and wanted nothing more than to kiss his skating partner. He was doomed. If this was the stage he’d reached, he was beyond doomed. Their comeback could be ruined all because he had feelings that he could no longer hide.
Not that he’d been doing a stellar job of hiding it but at least he hadn’t very obviously looked at Tessa like he wanted nothing more than to grab her and kiss her…forever. It felt obvious and so he’d pretended it hadn’t happened and taken her hand for their bows and disappeared into the changing room to escape, to breathe. Because when Tessa was beside him, it was everything he could do to keep it together.
He was angry at himself, angry that he’d let it get to this. Their relationship was not like that, they were best friends. At least on her side. On his, things had been building up to this moment of clarity. The moment he realized how in over his head he was. There was no other way to say it, he was in love with her. And was doomed. How could he ever tell her that and risk the Olympics, just a few short months away but also to risk his heart? His one sided love just had to stay a secret, he vowed to be more careful, to try harder.
He groaned, putting his head in his hands. He hadn’t even taken his skates off yet. He was just lost in thought. Patrice walked in, the sound of the door causing Scott to raise his head. Patch took one look at him, a knowing look forming as he sat down next to Scott.
“Great performance – you were both amazing,” he said, clapping Scott on the shoulder.
“Thanks,” said Scott, now starting to remove his skates.
“Well, it’s time to celebrate. Get changed and we’ll go have a celebration meal,” said Patch.
“Sure,” said Scott, managing a smile.
Patch left and Scott focused on getting ready, getting changed and grabbing his bag. He exited the change room, finding Marie-France and Patrice deep in a quiet conversation outside. Tessa then exited the women’s change room and joined them. She looked beautiful and he momentarily wanted to pull her close, tell her he loved her and kiss her. He shook his head at himself, knowing he was utterly doomed.
He somehow got through dinner - Marie, Patch and Tessa talking animatedly while he stared into the meal he barely touched, so lost in thought he didn’t talk much unless he was asked something directly.
“We have to get back, but you’re allowed a dessert today so go get some cake or ice cream,” said Marie with a wink.
Tessa smiled, she loved cheat days. She looked at Scott who hadn't reacted at all, swirling his straw around absently.
“Want to go find a cheat day dessert?” asked Tessa, slinging her bag over her shoulder as they all stood up.
“Not tonight,” said Scott quickly.
He missed the quick look of disappointment which passed over her face as he avoided her eyes.
“Are you okay?” asked Tessa, studying him.
“Yeah, just tired,” lied Scott.
Tessa gave him a disbelieving look but said nothing.
“Okay, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then,” she said.
She gave him a quick hug, one that Scott did not return as he stood with his arms by his side.
Tessa knew something was wrong. She could feel it, she could see it in his demeanor but she couldn’t make him open up. Not unless he wanted to. Her stomach knotted uncomfortably. She wanted their communication to stay open and honest. Most of all, she just wanted to see Scott happy. And today, he seemed far from that.
She turned to go, saying goodbye to Patch and Marie quietly.
“What is wrong with you?” asked Marie, turning on him angrily, the moment Tessa had left.
“What do you mean?” asked Scott, genuinely unaware that his unusual behaviour had been noticed.
“You are months away from the Olympics, you had excellent results here, you’re in an excellent position to win and….and, you haven’t managed even a small amount of interest in anything since the gala,” said Marie-France, her eyes boring into him.
“Just stuff Marie, I’m sorry,” said Scott.
“And Tessa? Does she deserve your moodiness?” asked Marie. “Does she know why her partner has checked out?”
“I haven’t checked out,” said Scott, feeling like a schoolboy being scolded.
“Patch!” said Marie sharply. “Talk to him,” she said.
Marie walked away, muttering about dealing with children in French. As much as he loved Marie, being scolded by her was not pleasant.
He was an open book, he couldn’t hide his emotions well, he knew that. He hadn’t realized he’d been so withdrawn during dinner that Marie had noticed. And Tessa. Tessa would have internalized it all. He knew she would most certainly have noticed. He owed her an apology and probably some chocolate. He sighed.
Patrice was giving him that knowing look again and Scott looked at him expectantly.
“Just tell me off, get it over with. I’ll try to be better tomorrow, I’m sorry,” said Scott, blowing out a frustrated breath.
“You’re in love with Tessa,” said Patch abruptly.
Scott stared at him. Was he that obvious? It had been awhile and his cover hadn’t been blown. The moment he’d realized how gone he really was, suddenly it was all over him in neon lights?
“Uh, what?” asked Scott, stalling, as though he hadn’t heard or understood.
“You’re in love with Tessa,” said Patrice again. It was a statement, not a question. He said it calmly, his eyes sympathetic as he looked at Scott.
Scott’s silence only confirmed it for him and he briefly looked at Marie-France who was waiting nearby. Patch caught her eye and nodded slightly, letting her know that their suspicions were correct. Marie hid a smile and indicated that was enough, that they should leave Scott in peace for the night.
“I’m here if you want to talk. I’ve been through it before. I can help you deal with this, Marie and I both can,” said Patch quickly.
Scott had lost all power of speech – his eyes were wide as he wondered if Tessa too, had seen right through him.
“You won’t tell Tessa,” he finally managed.
“I won’t. But you will,” said Patch.
Scott wasn’t planning to tell Tessa anything but he stayed silent. Patch then clapped him on the shoulder, Scott muttering a goodbye as Patch walked over to Marie and the two of them left.
Sighing, Scott went to find some Lindt chocolate, buying a few packs for Tessa and then calling her.
“Hey Scott,” answered Tessa, surprised.
“Hi Tess, did you get dessert?” he asked.
“No,” said Tessa. “The hotel has a few on the menu though, I might think about it.”
“I’m coming and I have Lindt,” he said.
Tessa smiled. There he was. Despite his moodiness, Scott was still sweet and always looking out for her.
“You don’t have to,” said Tessa quietly.
“I want to,” said Scott.
Soon, he was knocking on her door and Tessa opened it with a smile. His room was directly next to hers, the configuration of the rooms quite similar.
“Hi Scott,” she said.
“Hey T,” he said, trying to ignore his heart thudding in his chest just at the sight of her.
He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek to try to make up for his behaviour earlier and handed her four packets of Lindt chocolate - all different flavours.
“You’re amazing, thank you,” beamed Tessa.
“I didn’t want you to miss out on cheat day dessert,” said Scott with a smile.
“I thought you were tired,” said Tessa, looking at him.
“I am. I didn’t mean to be so tired and distracted at dinner though, I’m sorry,” said Scott.
“It’s okay, you’re allowed an off day,” said Tessa, nodding her acknowledgment of his words.
Her brow furrowed with worry though.
“We did so well. It was a great result for us. What’s wrong?” she asked, placing her hand on his arm.
He stiffened slightly, her touch was like heat being applied directly to his skin. He couldn’t help reacting to it, despite how hard he was trying to be unaffected.
“Yeah, it was a great result,” said Scott, his eyes dropping to the ground. “Just my own thing, I’ll sort it out, I promise,” he said, looking back up at her.
“I’m here if you need to talk,” offered Tessa.
“Thanks,” said Scott.
Tessa nodded, seeing he wasn’t wanting to talk about it. She slid open one of the Lindt packets and broke off four squares, breaking it again, and handing half to Scott.
He smiled and she took a bite of her chocolate, savouring the taste. He copied her, biting into the chocolate and joining her as she sat down on the small sofa in her room.
Tessa was confused about his earlier behaviour, his moodiness; but she didn’t want to push him. He would talk when he was ready.