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the courage of stars

Summary:

At Pride, Dan feels out of place.

Notes:

Title is from Saturn by Sleeping at Last.

Written for phandomficfests pride themed flash fic fest.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Be brave. Phil keeps telling that to him throughout the day. He just wants to help, he knows that, but even so, it feels futile. The crowd they’re in has flags and hair colours that come in every colour of the spectrum. Dan’s feeling both scared and in the right place.

“You look nice.” Phil smiles at him a little as he tightens the shoelace that’s holding Dan’s flag around his shoulders. “I like the face paint, I think it was a good idea.”

“You don’t think it’s too much?” He carefully touches his own cheeks, feeling the coolness of it against his fingers.

Phil cups his face. “It’s a bit lopsided as usual, but I’ve tried.”

“Yours is nice, too.” Dan painted the ace flag on Phil’s left cheek, while the queerplatonic is on the other. There’s no official one. They settled on the first one they could find: two pink, two dark grey, two light grey and a white stripe. Dan didn’t feel artistic enough to draw the yellow heart, but it still looks nice.

“You’re feeling okay?” Phil bumps his shoulder against Dan’s. “You’re awfully quiet today.”

“This is not my normal crowd.”

“I promised you stars, didn’t I?”

“You did.”

“We’ll march for half an hour, then it’s straight to Greenwich, yeah?”

The promise of stars warms Dan’s heart. It’s been a while he got to go to a planetarium, so he’s looking forward to it.

“Okay.”

“I know you’re feeling out of place…”

“I’m always feeling out of place,” Dan says but Phil doesn’t pay attention to it.

“... but this is Pride, Dan. I’m not ashamed of who I am and I know you’re not either. This march is not about showing other people how gay you are.” Dan winces at hearing that; years of bullying has taken its toll. “It’s about showing yourself that despite everything, you’re proud of who you are.”

“Yeah?” He looks up at Phil. In the past year he’s grown quite a bit, but Phil is still taller than him.

“I’m proud of you and your journey, Dan. When we met, you didn’t even want to hear about this. Now we’re at London Pride, marching with people like us.”

Dan nods. He doesn’t want to cry and ruin the ace flag and the qpr flag coloured stars on his cheeks. But he’s close to it because what Phil just said is truly beautiful.

And maybe, he is proud. He now accepts that it’s completely normal not to want all that. He’s more than happy to sit on his roof with Phil by his side watching the stars or when it’s raining and they’re watching nature documentaries, Phil genuinely enjoys that too. He’s glad that Phil became someone so important in his life and that he’s willing to put up with all his silliness.

“I’m happy we’re in this together, Phil.”

“Be brave, Dan. Be proud.”

Notes:

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