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i.
“Can I ask you something?”
Nicky closes his messages - a glorious, private picture of Erik in a pair of tight, low-rise briefs dissolving into blue pixels - and puts his phone away. In front of him, Neil looks flustered, and Nicky becomes instantly, wildly curious.
“Shoot,” Nicky says, grinning.
“Can you- ugh,” Neil stops, visibly cringes, and starts again. “Can you show me how to waltz?”
“Waltz,” Nicky repeats, surprised; he didn’t think dancing was particularly high on Neil’s list of priorities.
“You know how I told you I’m taking Allison to the winter banquet?” Neil goes on, when Nicky just looks at him, nonplussed.
“Heteronormative as fuck,” Nicky comments, “but yes, I remember. Go on.”
“Well, she says she won’t be caught dead with a date who can’t waltz,” Neil explains. “I thought she was joking but-”
“She’s not,” Nicky finishes when Neil trails off. “And you looked around your dorm room at the uncultured clowns you share a living space with and figured I was your best bet.”
“Well, you are always dancing at Eden’s,” Neil mumbles, “and I remember you said you and Erik did some dancing in Germany.”
“Oh, Neil,” Nicky says, feeling like he might cry with laughter over that later. “You are precious.”
“So you know how?” Neil asks hopefully.
“I do,” Nicky says, and he feels his heart clench tightly in his chest. Neil never needs Nicky, not really. If it’s Exy he needs help with, he’ll either turn his own brain to soup overthinking it or go to Kevin. Anything else, Andrew has him covered. But this? Nicky can help him with this. The thought sends a ripple of joy through him, and he clasps his hands together excitedly, getting to his feet.
“Now?” Neil says, his eyes widening with surprise, or possibly fear. He casts a sharp glance around the court. “Here?”
“No, not here,” Nicky replies, shaking his head. “My improv group uses a space that doubles as a dance studio sometimes. It’ll probably be free.”
It turns out he’s right. Nicky flips the switch and the room is flooded with light. Neil follows him inside hesitantly.
“Maybe this was a bad idea,” Neil says, looking at the mirrored wall. “I could just Google it or something.”
“Neil,” Nicky chides, wiggling his index finger in front of Neil’s face. “One does not learn how to waltz on WikiHow. It’s about elegance, feeling your partner-”
“Okay, jeez,” Neil mutters weakly. “Where do we start?”
“Well,” Nicky considers the question carefully. “We should probably teach you how to lead because you’re the man and while dancing is wonderful, it is entrenched in gender norms. Anyway, first, we’ll do the basic steps.”
“Which are?” Neil asks, tossing his bag to the side and taking off his hoodie.
Nicky steps back, giving him some space.
“Start with your feet apart,” Nicky says.
“This feels stupid,” Neil comments, following Nicky’s instruction.
“Now step forward - no, with your left, Neil. Now follow with your right but- yeah, keep your feet apart. Amazing! Now slide your left foot toward your right and- yes! Now back with the right. And with the left - but, no, apart again this time. And then bring the right back across! Perfect! That’s it,” Nicky instructs, Neil performing the steps with ease.
“That’s it?” Neil repeats. “It’s just making a box with your feet?”
“Yeah, it’s kind of a simple dance, really,” Nicky says with a shrug. “Of course, you can start adding in your own personal flairs-”
“No flairs,” Neil interrupts, shaking his head.
“Shall we try it together?” Nicky asks excitedly.
He goes to the table and connects his iPod to the shitty speakers the dance club use, flicking through his playlist trying find something even remotely suitable for a waltz. He settles on Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls.
Neil rolls his eyes when he hears the song start but doesn’t say anything about it. Nicky walks over to him and then, he stops.
“Okay?” He asks, because if there’s one thing he’s learned observing Neil and his cousin, it’s that it’s important to check. Neil blinks, surprise briefly fluttering across his face, and gives a small nod. Nicky gently takes his hand. “Now you put your other hand on my shoulder.”
Neil does so and it’s a little awkward because of the height difference but Nicky flashes him an encouraging smile.
“You remember the steps?” He asks.
“I think I can remember all four of them,” Neil retorts impatiently, stepping forward in time with the music.
They dance for a while, going round and round until Neil is doing the steps almost reflexively. Nicky is surprised to find that Neil actually has a good sense of rhythm. He’s quick on his feet and in time with the music. Nicky’s surprise is mingled with a sense of pride - happiness, even - that he’s been the one to teach him how to do it. At Eden’s, he’s never been able to coax Neil onto the dancefloor. He’d assumed Neil wouldn’t be very good at dancing - mostly out of disinterest more than anything else. Here though, he’s great, and Nicky wonders if he’ll be able to sneak Neil away for a quick dance the next time they’re in Columbia.
The song ends and SexyBack by Justin Timberlake starts blasting out of the speakers. Neil stops waltzing and lowers his hands.
“This is such a jam,” Nicky says, beginning to bob his head to the beat.
“Yeah, but we can’t really waltz to it,” Neil replies, frowning.
“Want to learn some other moves?” Nicky asks, shooting Neil a mischievous smile.
“Why?” Neil responds blankly.
“Because it’s fun,” Nicky croons. “Wasn’t the waltzing fun?”
“It was okay,” Neil admits.
“Just let me show you some moves,” Nicky goes on, swaying his hips and shimmying down. “You can dance for Andrew when we’re next at Eden’s.”
Neil winces a little at the thought and Nicky heads over to the speakers, laughing. He presses pause and then turns.
“Do you want to practice the waltz again?” He asks.
Neil shakes his head. “I think I understand it enough to be able to get through one dance with Allison.”
“You sure?” Nicky says, smirking. “Reynolds is a demon on the dancefloor.”
“I’m sure,” Neil replied, tugging his hoodie back on. “Thank you, though.”
Nicky clutches his heart and feigns swooning. “Neil, you kill me.”
The corners of Neil’s mouth curve up into a smile and then Nicky’s swooning for real.
They walk back to Fox Tower, peacefully chatting about their upcoming game and then about Nicky’s date for the winter banquet. When Nicky starts to cry because he misses Erik, Neil doesn’t awkwardly retreat from his tears but listens to his complaints, hands him a Kleenex and finally, inelegantly, offers him a hug.
ii.
“I think I’m going to dance.”
The minute the words are out of his mouth, he regrets them. Aaron wrinkles his nose as if trying to figure out the lie, Andrew’s hands still around the shot of tequila and the wedge of lime he’s holding, and Kevin just shakes his head as if he’s had a psychic vision of a fatal dancing accident in Neil’s not-so-distant future.
Nicky, on the other hand, accepts the admission with a smile and an motivational nod.
All those weeks ago, when he and Allison had expertly danced the waltz, all eyes had been on them. He hadn’t told anyone about enlisting Nicky to help him learn the stupid dance. It hadn’t been a purposeful thing; he’d just forgotten about it. When he and Allison returned to the table, the other Foxes were looking at them, incredulous.
“Since when do you know how to waltz?” Kevin had asked, as if it were a secret Neil had been deliberately keeping from him.
“Since forever,” Neil had replied childishly.
“You were both excellent up there,” Renee cut in.
“I wasn’t worried,” Allison said, flouncing down into the seat next to Renee and shrugging. “I knew Josten would exceed expectations.”
Neil slid into the seat next to Andrew and looked at him as if to say, what do you think? Andrew had just shrugged and plopped the cherry that had been floating in Dan’s cocktail into his mouth.
The thing was, he’d actually enjoyed it. It had been nice to know the routine and to lose himself in the music for a few minutes.
That’s why, two tequilas deep at Eden’s Twilight on a Friday night, he’d announced he was going to go dance.
“You never dance with us,” Aaron grumbles, eyeing Neil suspiciously.
“I just thought it might be fun,” Neil replies, meeting Nicky’s gaze across the table.
“Yeah, let’s go,” Nicky says, getting to his feet.
“I’m coming too,” Kevin says, putting down his shot glass.
They turn to the twins.
“Well, if everyone else is,” Aaron mutters darkly, standing up.
Neil keeps his eyes fastened on Andrew, who is starting to arrange the empty shot glasses on a tray, ignoring the sudden mass exodus from their table.
“Andrew,” Neil says.
“What?” Andrew replies.
“Yes or no?” Neil asks, hope suddenly and stupidly trilling through him like music.
“No,” is Andrew’s immediate reply.
Neil hesitates, not sure how to convey what he’s trying to do to Andrew. It’s not that he cares about dancing. It’s just… something new.
“Knock yourself out,” Andrew says, as if reading his mind. “I’ll look after the table.”
Neil nods and then the four of them are moving toward the dance floor. It’s crowded, and they have to forcefully push their way into the rabble, creating their own little space to dance in. The music is so loud that Neil can practically feel the bass exploding in his chest like a firework. He shuffles awkwardly, someone’s elbow jamming into his side, and he thinks that maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. Maybe the waltzing was a fluke, a one-off. Someone’s drink sloshes over him, soaking his sleeve and he thinks he might just turn around and head back to the table when-
“Neil, you have to loosen up,” Nicky shouts, making his way over to Neil and hovering in front of him. “Sometimes it’s more fun with someone- look, can I-?”
“Sure,” Neil finds himself saying and then Nicky slides his arms loosely around Neil’s neck and encourages him to follow his lead. They sway from side to side for a little bit and Neil feels his stiffness subside. He relaxes into it, letting his movements become looser. In time with the beat, they move apart and then move closer and Nicky laughs, bright as sunshine, in his ear. It is fun, Neil decides. The song shifts into something even faster and he hears Kevin whooping somewhere and then he’s laughing too.
He and Nicky dance until the song changes and then he shakes his head and points toward their table.
“I’m going to find Andrew,” Neil yells and Nicky just nods and gravitates back to the other two.
Neil pushes his way through and jogs up the stairs to where Andrew is waiting, one leg crossed over the other, a bored expression on his face. His gaze slips over Neil and settles on the stained sleeve.
“You were only gone for five minutes and you’re a mess,” Andrew drawls as Neil sits next to him on the couch.
“That’s kind of the Josten brand,” Neil replies playfully.
“How was your little experiment?” Andrew asks, nodding his head toward the dancefloor.
“Dancing is kind of fun, I guess,” Neil says with a shrug. “I’m not very good at it, though.”
“Looked fine to me,” Andrew mutters.
“You were watching?” Neil asks, the thought sending a thrill rocketing through his veins.
“My gaze might have accidentally wandered over to you,” Andrew replies, tapping his knuckles against Neil’s own.
“Do you think you’d like to try it with me sometime?” Neil asks, entwining their hands. “Dancing?”
When Andrew opens his mouth, Neil is so sure he’s going to say no, but to his surprise, Andrew says, “I’ll think about it.”
He thinks he might ask Nicky to show him some moves after all.