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Many times I tried to tell you
Many times I cried alone
Always I'm surprised how well you cut my feelings to the bone
Don't want to leave you really
I've invested too much time
to give you up that easy
To the doubts that complicate your mind
“C’mon…C’mon….pick up!!” Daniel gripped the phone cord like a lifeline, twisting the loops between his fingers. He looked over to Johnny’s unrecognizable form on the bed. He had eased his fingers away after holding his hand for around twenty minutes. He looked at the bedside clock. It was almost 10:30 in the morning.
The phone rang several more times before finally being answered.
“Hai…”
“OH…Oh…Mr. Miyagi…thank God you’re there!” Daniel said, relief washing over his face. He started nervously pacing the floor.
“Oi…Daniel-san…what matter? Everything ok?”
“No…Mr. Miyagi…everything is not ok…everything is just horrible. Just horribly wrong.”
“Slow down, Daniel-san…Miyagi here…”
“I need you here…Mr. Miyagi…please…it’s urgent!” Daniel’s voice broke on his last word. He was fighting hard to keep it together.
“Ok…Miyagi go. Where at?”
“At the Encino Hospital Medical Center.”
“Daniel-san…you hurt?!” Miyagi’s voice became strained.
“No…but I just really need you to be here right now.”
______
Mr. Miyagi stood with his arms folded, a couple of steps away from the hospital bed in the middle of the room. He watched quietly as Daniel paced back and forth across the floor stopping briefly to look at Johnny before resuming his maddening pace around the room. Miyagi was waiting for him to finish.
“I dunno…how could he be so stupid? Why would he do this?”
“Daniel-san…”
“I mean I’ve told him before…he’s got to stop the drinking, man…I knew nothing good would come out of this.”
“Daniel-san…”
“I mean look at him, Mr. Miyagi…what are we gonna do? He hasn’t woken up. I’m really scared here!” His voice had started becoming frantic.
“DANIEL-SAN!” Miyagi spoke sharply, bringing the boy out of his careening thoughts.
“What?” He said, defeated…stopping in front of Miyagi.
“Have glass of water…sit down.”
“I don’t want a glass of water I want….” He was cut off by a look.
Miyagi poured him some water from the pitcher on the bedside table. He handed it carefully to Daniel and guided him over to one of the fake leather armchairs beside the bed. Daniel sipped the cold water slowly and looked down at his hands holding the cup.
“Daniel-san…you cannot change the path of someone who is already on the road he has chosen…unless he want change.” He held up a hand when Daniel started to protest.
“Your friend…has many problems in life. Bad teacher. Bad parent. Bad habits. You one thing in his world that matter. Miyagi know.”
Daniel began to tear up. He went back over to Johnny’s side and reached for his hand again. His fingers were as cold as the room was and he began to rub some warmth into them. His fingers reflexively closed around Daniel’s once more and Daniel sighed. Mr. Miyagi approached the bed looking down at the boy who was so angry…every time he had seen him. He now looked peaceful and calm. “In sleep…no worry nothing.”
“Mr. Miyagi…what am I going to do?”
“Daniel-san…you have whole world on shoulders…you need to think about what best for you. You can’t please everyone, for all time. You like cattail at lake. You bend in all directions with way the wind blows and after good wind, you break off…die. Remember…have whole life ahead of you and you are on much better road. Good Student. Good Parent. Good Teacher.” He said smiling warmly at Daniel.
“Yeah…It’s just not fair…ya know…He has it all…he’s got money and cars and whatever he wants…but I’m just now realizing…that’s not what it takes to make you happy. I just don’t wanna give up on him, you know?”
“Miyagi understand.”
Daniel brushed the hair away from Johnny’s forehead and watched as Johnny subconsciously sought more contact. He shifted his head on the pillow to stay in contact with Daniel’s hand.
“I can’t go home, tonight, Mr. Miyagi….I can’t leave until I know he’s awake and fine.”
“You already in much hot water, Daniel-san.”
“Yeah…tell me about it….Say…can you do something for me…it would really, REALLY help me out…” Daniel had that look in his eye again that Mr. Miyagi did not care for. It was that look when he was coming up with a great story and a good sales pitch, like a used car salesman. Mr. Miyagi knew his game when Daniel started grinning and flippantly twirling his hand.
“Could you, ya know…maybe tell my ma that I’d be with you for a couple of days…you know…just so you could like…I dunno keep a better eye on me at your house?”
Miyagi looked at the boy and his mouth became a firm line. “Be careful what ask for, Daniel-san.”
“It’s not like you’d be lying or anything like that…” He continued, trying to convince Miyagi. He was getting desperate.
“What you call it then?”
“I dunno...stretching the truth...my mom would never agree to me staying here otherwise.”
“Never ask.”
“Yeah...but what would be the point in that? You know how she feels. I know she’d care but...still...under the circumstances….”
“You rather have Miyagi lie for you.”
Daniel looked at the older man, and the light shifted in his eyes.
“You know what...fine...just forget it...I’ll figure something out...it’s not like I asked you to go rob a bank or something...I just wanted to stay here in case Johnny wakes up and needs to see a familar face. But hey...don’t let me go against your principles or nothing…” Daniel sighed, frustrated and moved toward the window overlooking the parkinglot outside. He bit his thumbnail and fumed in silence.
Miyagi was beginning to learn the many sides of Daniel...if he couldn’t use his charm to win someone over, he’d go straight for the guilt. It worked on him in the past and didn’t take much convincing now. It saddened him though. All Daniel had to do was ask.
“One condition…” Miyagi said disheartened.
“Anything! Daniel said, turning quickly and hopping over to Mr. Miyagi.
“You stay at Miyagi house after.”
“After what?”
“After visiting hours.”
Daniel had been hoping to stay all night or at least until Johnny was aware and moving around. He was sure he could convince the nurse staff to let him stay...but this was better than nothing. “Sure, Mr. Miyagi...Thanks...you don’t know what this means to me!”
“Hai…” Miyagi said turning to leave. He supposed he was there for what Daniel had needed him for.
“Thanks, Mr. Miyagi…” Daniel said with sincerity. He put his arm around his friend and walked him to the room’s door.
“Daniel-san...never ask Miyagi to lie for you...you lose who you are in here…” He said tapping the boy’s chest.
Daniel nodded, remorsefully. “I’m really sorry, Mr. Miyagi...I just don’t know what else to do.”
“When time right...all will be clear...up here.” He said tapping Daniel’s head.
------
Maybe it's a sign of weakness when I don't know what to say
Maybe I just wouldn't know what to do with my strength anyway
Have we become a habit? Do we distort the facts?
Now there's no looking forward
Now there's no turning back
The sound of the beeping monitors and breathing machine was slowly driving Daniel insane. He spent time staring out of the window, pacing the room and wandering back and forth to the soda machine down the hall. It was nearly 3pm and countless doctors and nurses had been in to monitor Johnny’s progress. A couple of times they had to wheel him out of the room to take him to surgery and run some tests. Daniel could not go with him then. He felt lost and lonely in the room by himself. He had a lot of time for contemplation and thinking. He didn’t like where his thoughts were leading him, but Mr. Miyagi was right as always. It was the best thing to do...for both of them.
------
The next time they wheeled Johnny back into the room, Daniel was asleep in the armchair. He had dozed off, his long legs stretched out in front of him his head nodding on his chest. The nurse from earlier...her name was Betty...put a finger to her lips and smiled at the occupant in the bed. She winked at him, when he realized who was waiting for him in the chair. He smiled innocently back at her and winced in pain. They had propped him up into a comfortable reclining position.
“Glad you’re back with us, baby….we were starting to get worried.”
Johnny nodded at her and continued looking at Daniel. He didn’t think his heart could hurt as much as it did at that moment...but it was not in pain…that was everywhere else.
“We’ll get you something for that misery, sugar...you’ll be right as rain in no time…as long as you don’t move…” She laughed and left the room.
Johnny rested his head back on the pillows and looked up at the ceiling. Flashes of memories and pain clouded his brain as he remembered how he got there. He looked down at his broken arm and leg. He really messed things up, big time. He looked back over to Daniel and so overwhelmed by gratefulness that tears started eeking down his eyes and dripping to his chin. He would not sob, but he was helpless to stop the flow. He sniffled a few times, rousing the occupant in the chair.
Daniel stretched and rubbed his eye with the heel of his hand. He stretched his aching back from sleeping in the uncomfortable chair and looked over to Johnny’s bed. He thought he saw Johnny sitting up and looking at him intently. ‘Nah...I’m dreaming…’ He cocked his head and stared at the figure on the bed. Most of his wires were gone as was the tube sticking out of his mouth.
“Are you just gonna sit there gawking at me, LaRusso?”
Daniel slowly smiled in disbelief. He was speechless. He stood up hesitantly… “It sure does sound like his sarcasm…” He said to himself, loud enough to be heard. He took a step toward the bed.
“Are you gonna get over here or do I have to kick your ass?” Johnny said, grimacing when he took too many breaths.
“And his empty threats…” Daniel said after coming closer to the bed and stood before it. His hands were shaking with restraint. He looked Johnny up and down...taking in the casts and the bruises.
“You’re not going to break me, LaRusso...I’m pretty much all to pieces already...he huffed a painful laugh.
“Johnny...I…” He swallowed hard.
Johnny nodded his head and it was all Daniel needed. He climbed into the bed with Johnny and wrapped himself as best he could around Johnny’s body. Johnny gasped but accommodated him the best he could trying with his good hand to pull Daniel closer to him. Daniel clung to his body moving as close to him as possible paying great care to his injuries. “I need to kiss you...please...please…” Daniel begged his voice hoarse, rasping.
“I know…” Johnny said moving his head to seek his lips, not able to move much of anything else. He whimpered when Daniel’s full lips found his and kissed him the sweetest, most passionate kiss that he had ever given him...and he had given him a lot of kisses in the past.
He broke away sharply… “You’re an IDIOT!!” he said the anger building inside of him. Johnny groaned. He shoved him and Johnny yelped. “Danielle!”
“Sorry...sorry!!” Daniel said remembering. “You’re an idiot…” he said softer.
Johnny ducked his head. “I think you’ve told me that already.”
“I’m lucky to be telling you anything at all. Do you realize what you’ve done...what you’ve put me through?”
“Uh...last time I checked, I was the one in the casts…” He was trying with his good hand to pull Daniel’s t-shirt closer to him. He had certainly not received enough kisses to “feel better”. He was close to his neck and began placing soft kisses on his skin.
“Stop it…I’m trying to be mad at you.” He swept Johnny’s bangs from his forehead, closing his eyes as Johnny’s kisses became more tantalizing up to his jawline. He nuzzled in behind Daniel’s ear. His breathing hitched. “Don’t ever do that to me again…”
Johnny stopped to look at him. “I was afraid…”
“I know...I have to talk to you about that.”
“Can we talk later?” He resumed his trek to Daniel’s mouth...he just wanted to shut him up for a while. The less he had to think about things, the better right now. “Kiss me…” he pleaded needingly.
“No, Johnny...we have to talk now. You can decide after if you want to kiss me anymore.” Johnny sighed and made himself comfortable. “Just so you know, I don’t ever want to stop...kissing you.”
Daniel closed his eyes...his words making his pulse race more.
“We really messed up, Johnny.”
Johnny looked back at him seriously. He thought about all of the things that had happend to him over the past couple of days...the friends he lost...the realizations he fought...the fear he felt that he would never see Daniel again...the pain that hurt more than his accident.
“The way I see it, we did everything right…”
“You just don’t get it...everyone knows...they whisper and point at me in the halls...my mom, Johnny my mom has grounded me for life...if she knew I was here now….she threatened to take me out of school and move back to Jersey…”
“Well maybe we just lay low for a while...you know...just do what we used to do.” Johnny said the pain was beginning to intensify in his arm and leg. He shifted and Daniel helped him find a more comfortable position. He propped his back up against the bed and looked down at Johnny who was laying on his back now, staring up at him.
“I don’t think we can go on like that, Johnny...I can’t go on...knowing what I know now. He took Johnny’s good hand and began threading his fingers with his own rubbing circles in the palm of his hand with his thumb.
“Well...what can we do?” Johnny didn’t like the way this was heading. He didn’t like the way Daniel was not looking at him...avoiding his eyes.
“I dunno...with the tournament...and with everything...I’ve just been running on empty man...I’m beat...I can’t think...I worry too much...and now...now everything has gone to shit...you’re messed up...can’t you see how wrong this all is?”
“You’re starting to piss me off, LaRusso...don’t tell me you’re serious about this shit.”
“I think we need a break.” He said staring out of the window on the opposite side of the room. The sun was going down and pink and orange wisps of clouds were dotting the skyline. Mr. Miyagi would be expecting him soon.
“Fuck you, LaRusso...you’re not gonna write me off that easy.”
“I’m not trying to Johnny...I’m trying to do what’s best for both of us. We’re both going on without balance and it’s gonna wind up killing one of us.” He looked at Johnny when he said that.
Betty came in one last time before her shift was over. Daniel quickly untangled himself from Johnny but not before she saw them. She made no comment and went over to check Johnny’s vitals and IV drip. He wasn’t allowed to eat anything quite yet. She administered some more morphine into his drip and notated the time on her chart.
“He’s gonna be very sleepy in a minute, Son...visiting hours are almost over.”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
She left the room. Daniel stood back by Johnny’s bed and looked down at him.
“Trust me...this is not what I want.”
Johnny didn’t speak anymore. He just looked at Daniel...his eyes betraying nothing.
“Please don’t make this harder than it has to be…” He said brushing a thumb over Johnny’s eyebrow.
“So that’s it?”
“I just want my life to go back to normal.” He was fighting back tears and he angrily brushed a couple away.
“Well...don’t let me hold you up, LaRusso…” Johnny said shutting down. He yawned, involuntarily, wishing he could roll over on his side. All he could do was turn his head away.
“I’ll be back to check on you tomorrow...ok? We can still be friends.”
Johnny snorted. “Whatever…”
“I really am glad that you are ok...I don’t know what I would have done if…” Daniel cut his sentence short. It was hard for him to finish. He didn’t have to. Johnny had fallen asleep. He was softly snoring when Daniel crossed over to him and placed a long, lingering kiss on his forehead. He hesitated before moving to his lips and kissing him softly, tasting salty tears. He pulled the covers up over Johnny’s shoulders and clicked off his bedside lamp.
He turned at the doorway to take one final look at him as he left.
Close your eyes and try to sleep now
Close your eyes and try to dream
Clear your mind and do your best to try and wash the palette clean
We can't begin to know it, how much we really care
I hear your voice inside me, I see your face everywhere
Still you say
We belong to the light, we belong to the thunder
We belong to the sound of the words we've both fallen under
Whatever we deny or embrace for worse or for better